Hottest Ticket in Town "One Woman Show" is As Good As They Sayby Randi / January 18, 2023After just watching Emma Corrin in Netflix’s new adaptation of Naked Chattering with My Sturdy Lover or whatever it’s called, I was very excited to see what this likable performer can do onstage and maybe with more clothes on. (No I still haven’t watched The Crown, I’m bored thinking about it.) But despite all the glowing reviews from everyone else about Orlando at the West End’s Garrick Theatre, I found it quite the disappointment, especially compared to the book or to the superior movie with Tilda Swinton. The tone was hard to pin down, and more pressingly, it felt chaotic in its energy. More than anything, watching this show felt like reading a book by reading a few sentences every 50 pages.
This adaptation of Virginia Woolf’s beloved novel feels like the creatives were trying to erase the magic that theatre could have so ingeniously enhanced. Theatre’s unique potential to show the wonder and intrigue and joy of this story — of a young man in Elizabethan times who falls asleep for 100 years and then becomes an ambassador to Constantinople but then falls asleep again and wakes up a woman and then lives for centuries more but doesn’t really age and has a gay old time dressing as both men and women and having all kinds of lovers and then getting married for like a day and so on — felt kind of squandered in an attempt to pare the story down to bare bones. But this story doesn’t really have bones — its magical flowery surrealism is its essence! So paring it down — and at 90 minutes or less, it really is unnecessarily pared down — feels like the wrong move.
It felt like they were trying to ground (or really, ground down) the surrealist aspect of the story (and isn’t it all surreal??!!) instead of letting it fly and having the magic of theatre smooth the rough edges and augment the ambiguity in a great way. Instead, all the rough edges seemed to be highlighted. Like the fact that Orlando keeps falling asleep and waking up in new centuries even though his nursemaid is alive and the same age feels forking weird, instead of being another lovely thing to let color the mood and shape of the piece. Sure the nurse is the funniest part of the show but even that feels like a random insertion when compared to the rest of the cast and happenings.
The attempts at sincerity, especially at the end trying to show Orlando’s feelings for her new husband, feel incredibly unearned and false since nothing was given the chance to feel earned. Everything felt quick, random, chaotic. The pointed proclamations made about gender and living freely etc thus also feel unearned, even though they were disappointingly weak and bare to begin with. So overall it just felt like a missed opportunity, focusing too much on the meta-story of the 8 or so Virginias Woolf writing the story as it was shown to us (even that felt half-assed) and not enough on letting the story breathe fully in its gloriousness so it could have the strength to say something worthwhile.
INFORMATION
Run time: 90 minutes.
Orlando is playing at the Garrick until February 25. The Garrick is an old for the earth theatre and I keep forgetting that the circle is better than the stalls, but for this short show the stalls weren’t so bad. Just remember that the ladies toilies are upstairs. And old. For the earth.
The pillars that restrict views in the stalls aren’t really that bad, so it’s worth saving a few pounds.
Mask count: two, me and husbo. Everyone else was coughing freely. Humans are gross.
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The Prince of Egypt Hits London: That DreamWorks Money Though!
A tad too late in the game for reminding English people that they actually approve of (the idea of) some refugees, The Prince of Egypt has arrived in London, packing ‘em in at the Dominion Theatre and taking no prisoners (except the Hebrews). Based on the 1998 DreamWorks movie of the same name, The Prince of Egypt tells the story you know from your babble, of a little Hebrew bebbeh whose mother put him in a basket and sent him down the river instead of keeping him to suffer the slavery and genocide of their people. That baby was discovered by the Queen of Egypt, who adopted him, named him Moses (surprise!), and raised him as her own, until he realized his heritage and decided, with the help of god, to save his people. It’s a fantastic story, and really a phenomenal idea for a musical. So why is this show so lackluster?
Honestly, it feels amateur. It feels like an early draft in terms of book (at least some of that dialogue, yeesh) and, much more so, score, which is a strange feeling to get about material that has existed in large part for more than 20 years. I hate to speak ill of my boy little Stevie Schwartz, composer of some of my favorite scores (like Pippin and Wicked (don’t even try to pretend you don’t also love the Wicked score, no one’s buying your bullshirt)), but aside from the Oscar-winning “When You Believe”, there are few musical numbers that don’t feel pedestrian, despite so many golden opportunities for great songs. And the layout, my god: in Act II, there was a 40-minute span where every. single. song. sounded the same, with the same melody, same key, same time signature. It’s like Musical Theatre 101 to not have songs that sound the same or achieve the same goal in a row, so to have like, 7 of them almost made me scream. It’s a shame that a production this huge and this destined for a long run has such a bland score.
The visuals of this production, however, are fire. I mean that literally – there’s a good amount of pyrotechnics used. This production is dripping with evidence of endless financial backing, and it’s quite a visual treat. The staging, the special effects, that stage lifting up to ‘drown’ the Egyptians (the best part!), it’s all great. Not in an artistic way, mind you, not in a ‘wow this is sophisticated storytelling’ way, but in a ‘wow this spectacle is fun to watch’ way.
That extends to the cast as well. Luke Brady is a strong Moses, tasked with the enormous burden of carrying the show and doing a commendable job. His brother-turned-enemy, Ramses, is played by a solid Liam Tamne who gave me strong Papi from Pose vibes while offering a very very different Ramses from what we’ve seen before from performers like Yul Brynner, much more obviously insecure and uncertain. Christine Allado’s Tzipporah, like most of the women in this male-centric show, was sung well but felt poorly written. Her first big song is a sexy dance in a cage and she’s like ‘when I dance I dance for me’ which could have given Miss Saigon early-first-act vibes but instead reminded me of the Crazy Ex Girlfriend song “Put Yourself First” where the girls satirically sing “make yourself sexy/just for yourself” and I was like, oof. Her character continued to enrage me when she complained about the possibility of having to live in the palace in order to SAVE AN ENTIRE RACE like holy what girl get over yourself oh it’s so sad you have to live like a princess in order to SAVE PEOPLE FROM SLAVERY my absolute goodness. Ramses’s wife Nefertari (which every time I heard it was like like “It’s NeferTITI oh wait no it’s not”) (played by Tanisha Spring) is similarly underwritten as a haughty bench, except she gets to show a softer side (really any side) with a moving song in Act II that was, unfortunately, too similar to the ones before and after it. I did like Alexia Khadime’s Miriam, possibly because she is only really in it to act like Jasmine in the marketplace pretending to be crazy (except not pretending) and then singing the best song, so, lucky her.
The ensemble is probably the hardest working in London right now, with endless difficult choreography demanded of them. I’m not sure if Sean Cheesman’s (stay fresh, cheese bags) nonstop, energetic, primal choreography is always necessary, but it’s always interesting to watch and feels raw and visceral in a unique way (I almost yelled in pain just watching some of the more intense moves). The talented ensemble may be the most diverse in London too, which is great.
But I’m not sure that huge diverse ensemble includes any Jews (and even if it did, the whole awkward dancing to chanting Hebrew felt strange). And that wouldn’t be the only problem with this show in terms of that representation. This is a show about Jews – not sure if you knew, but Moses, hoo boy, he’s big with us. And this is telling his entire story, from birth to the parting of the Red Sea, like, it’s foundational Judaism right here. But this production, aside from treating ‘Hebrew’ like it’s some exotic fictional designation (and never saying the word Jew), has sanitized the story so it never actually feels like it’s about religion. It really seems like this guy Moses is doing all of this on his own, with very few, too few, mentions of how god is working through him and how god is on the side of the Jews (chosen people helloooo). Also, his guilt about all the shit he’s wrought is sad but he never confronts god about what he’s making him do. Seriously if you didn’t know the story it’s very blink-and-you’ll-miss-when-they-mention-it’s-god’s-doing, when they mention that god wants to save the Jews. Which is weird. Maybe they wanted this to feel like a more universal refugee story, which is valid for today’s society, but there’s a way to do that without making it feel like Jewish erasure.
If you are a discerning theatregoer, you are better off forgetting about Charlton Heston’s crappiness for a bit and rewatching The Ten Commandments film and playing “When You Believe” at the opportune moment, like when I watch Legally Blonde and pause when she sees her name on the list of interns so I can sing “So Much Better” from the musical version. If, instead, you are an average London audience member who loves spectacle, you will love this.
INFORMATION
Act I ended after an hour and 20 minutes, and the show overall ended after 2 hours 45 minutes. Yes it is about 20 minutes too long.
I sat in the stalls, and I recommend sitting on the house left side aisles for easy access to the ladies rooms. There’s one up from the bar at the back on the left, and there’s one if you sit on the extreme left all the way down by the stage, so that’s a fun little secret few people knew about. This theatre is a g-d barn so I can’t say if the right side of the house was set up the same.
Like most things at the Dominion Theatre, the audience behaves like they’re at a rock concert (as most long-running recent productions have been rock concert-ish…or the traveling megachurch services, not even joking). Lots of phones, lots of talking and even at like, regular volume? I had to yell at an old man for nonstop loud talking and he didn’t stop so I had to sit back and stew and hope that corona gets him.
Maybe I’m just spoiled with well done theatres lately, but the Dominion is a mess right now, not really up to par with small hospitality things that every other West End and near-West End theatre does. Like, they have no water pitchers at the bars. If you want water you have to wait in the regular long bar line. What’s up with that nonsense! Also, only one of the stalls doors had a content warning sign (strobe lights, flashing, fire, &c) and I had to go searching for it. And there are no signs for the run time information so you have to find an usher to ask.
Also, programmes are £6. And they aren’t even giant souvenir-edition ones! Just for the regular small programme. PASS (over).
The 2015 Tony Awards: 50 or So Random Thoughts That Are Very Important
The best night of the year was last night, did you know? The Tony Awards are my absolute favorite awards and the best night in theatre because you get to see all the living legends and all the future legends and all the most talented people in the world as they just enjoy their fabulously lucky lives. Or enJOY, as my mom says.
The Tonys are even more important to me than the Oscars. I know. It’s just so loving and wonderful aaand, while everything is still political (like dislike of Harvey Weinstein causing his show ‘Finding Neverland’ to be snubbed entirely), it’s not as disgustingly political, and most winners and nominees are still very deserving. Also, musical numbers happen throughout the Tonys, not like the Oscars where it’s just one at the beginning if Hugh or Neil are hosting. And people cry more. And it’s so good. And they shout about gay rights and womens rights and everyone’s progressive and awesome. And everything is beautiful at the ballet. I mean Tonys.
The Tonys are even more important to me than the Oscars. I know. It’s just so loving and wonderful aaand, while everything is still political (like dislike of Harvey Weinstein causing his show ‘Finding Neverland’ to be snubbed entirely), it’s not as disgustingly political, and most winners and nominees are still very deserving. Also, musical numbers happen throughout the Tonys, not like the Oscars where it’s just one at the beginning if Hugh or Neil are hosting. And people cry more. And it’s so good. And they shout about gay rights and womens rights and everyone’s progressive and awesome. And everything is beautiful at the ballet. I mean Tonys.
Actually, this year it was kind of like the ballet so I’m not wrong in quoting ‘A Chorus Line’ (which I don’t think is the most important musical in history like 90% of other theatre buffs do but that’s a post for another time). Between ‘On the Town’, ‘The King and I’, and this year’s frontrunner ‘An American in Paris’, there’s a lot of ballet. A lot! Hell, the dancing stars of those three are making their Broadway debuts after careers spent as actual professional dancers: Megan Fairchild in ‘On the Town’, her little brother the fantastic Robert Fairchild in ‘An American in Paris’, and Xiaochuan Xie who dances the role of Eliza in the super crazy but actually awesome ballet of Uncle Tom’s Cabin in ‘The King and I’. Yes that’s a real sentence I just wrote and a real thing that happens in a Rodgers & Hammerstein musical. We’ll talk more about that in the forthcoming review of that particular show but for now, the Tonys!
I hate those stupid mainstream publications’ recaps that focus on the ’10 Best and Worst Moments’ or some such brief and crappy stuff like that so I am sharing lots of moments that are worth discussing. 50 Odd Foot of Grunt as Russell Crowe would say. Without Hugh or Neil hosting this year, we didn’t get a great big musical opening, but hosts Kristin Chenoweth and Alan Cumming were adorable and pleasant. Despite their larger-than-life personalities, they presented a really low-key, almost casual ceremony this year, in a nice way. Let’s talk about what was good, bad, ugly, awesome, horrendous, and more. I’m doing this in chronological order because ‘Interstellar’ made me understand time on such a deeper level you guys.
The Best Camerawork:
When Alan Cumming began the show by singing ‘Willkommen’, his famous song from his famous role as the Emcee in ‘Cabaret’, a very wise cameraman cut to Joel Grey in the audience, who was the original Emcee on Broadway and in the movie. Best thing the crew did all night, maybe ever.
Second Best Harvey Weinstein Moment:
Kristin and Alan singing “Smile (though your heart is breaking)” to Harvey about how he shouldn’t be too upset his show got ridiculously snubbed because he can count his $1 million-plus weekly box office receipts was pretty funny. But ugh that whole political scene is nauseating. Harvey made some pretty terrible decisions on his first foray into Broadway and he made a lot of enemies in the community, but don’t take it out on the show, halfwits. The same thing happened with the Royal Shakespeare Company’s handling of the ‘Matilda’ transfer a few years ago, and people widely recognize that it was the RSC’s snootiness and terribleness that led to a slightly less deserving ‘Kinky Boots’ to win Best Musical. But, wait, for some reason I don’t feel that it was as wrong to take personal dislike for the RSC out on their show even though ‘Matilda’ is much better than ‘Finding Neverland’. Hm. Maybe it’s because Harvey Weinstein was nice to me when we met and the RSC has never even said hi to me.
Best Joke About Chenoweth’s Size:
When Kristin said that “acceptance speeches are endless…like my legs!” That was funny because she is so small. Do you get it? This was also the only necessary joke about her size.
Most Hilarious Performance:
How fantastic does ‘Something Rotten’ look? That’s #1 on my to-see list (from this season at least) for when I return to NYC. I am overjoyed at such an original musical being so successful and so wonderfully funny. I loved how their big number ‘A Musical’ alludes to so many classic musicals, like when they scrub floors for one split second and sing ‘it’s a mu-si-cal’ to the tune of ‘It’s a Hard-Knock Life’. So fun! I can’t wait.
Worst Missed Opportunity for Unrelated Banter:
Debra Messing and Anna Chlumsky presented together and were wearing almost the exact same dress: same shade of purple, same crisscross neckline. Erma P! But aside from looking at each other and like faux smiling as they walked to the mic, they didn’t even acknowledge it! What the hell, guys! That could have been good! And Anna Wintour was sitting front and center (more on that later) and they didn’t even cut to her skin burning off in fashion-charged anger.
Good Job Doing A Shitty Thing:
I am not a fan of musical nominees performing medleys – it makes it seem like they don’t have one good song or one good production number to show off. They are always disjointed, and instead of sharing a few good songs, as they intend to do, the truncated versions of those songs aren’t good enough to convey what they want. But ‘The King and I’ did a good job with theirs, probably because you can’t screw up that music. So good job. I’m also glad that it allowed for the brilliant Ruthie Ann Miles, whom I love mostly because she took a funny selfie with me, to share some of her amazing solo “Something Wonderful”. She sounded nervous, but that’s understandable, given that it was her first Tonys performance in a big dramatic solo, it was a newfangled medley arrangement, and she was nominated for her first award. But the best part was when the kids were jumping up and down screaming backstage as Kristin and Alan sent to commercial. Now that was adorable.
Best Host Sight Gag:
When they returned from commercial after ‘The King and I’ performance, Alan was dressed as Anna in her big purple evening gown, singing ‘Getting to Know You’, and Kristin in a bald cap dressed as the King crawled out from under his skirt. So freaking funny.
Best Presenting Team:
Bobby Cannavale and real-life love Rose Byrne presented some category I don’t even care what it was I just love them to bits even though the last time I remember him being at the Tonys Sutton Foster was thanking him because they were together. Oops. Anyway I still love them. Hate her dress though.
Kind of Disappointing But Still Great Win:
I like spreading the love around, so I’m kind of upset Christian Borle won his second Tony in a relatively short time frame last night. I really wanted would-be first-timers Brad Oscar or Andy Karl (who was predicted) to win, and either adoraboy from ‘An American in Paris’ would have been deserving as well. I haven’t seen ‘Something Rotten’ yet (cannot wait), but I’ve heard that Borle as Shakespeare is amazing and it was really deserved; I’m sure it was. I just wanted someone to cry. He didn’t even seem surprised, like not at all, totally hey what’s up I’m here she’s here we made it, nothing special. Even if you are Melen Mirren and you are totally a lock, I want you to act surprised when you win a Tony.
Second Most Emotional Win for a Blonde:
I screamed in delight when Annaleigh Ashford won for her ridiculously hilarious turn in ‘You Can’t Take It With You’. She really did win for the worst dancing ever seen on any stage. I am so happy for her! She is such a wonderful talent and I can’t wait to see what she does next. I hope it’s another comedic role because she is probably the funniest comedian on Broadway right now. She really deserved to win for ‘Kinky Boots’, so I’m so glad she won for another very deserving performance. Also, her natural comedic power led to a pretty great speech: “Thank you to every friend I’ve ever had, to every teacher I’ve ever had, and everybody I’ve ever met!” She was so happy and adorable I almost don’t even care that she had notes.
Most Wooden Presenter:
Misty Copeland should not be the next dancer to move to Broadway.
Most Jaw-Dropping Historic Achievement:
TONY YAZBECK MADE ANNA WINTOUR SMILE.
Shoddiest Camerawork:
As usual on the Tonys (so sad that they haven’t learned yet), the cameras had really weird angles during dances and were wayyyy too close during singing solos. Camera person! Move back during dance numbers! Let us see the whole stage at once! It’s okay if you stay still for more than 3 seconds! We won’t think you stopped working or something! And stop taking cues from Tom Hooper during solos! Move the crap back! The audience is never 2 inches out and 1 inch down from a performer’s chin during actual performances so why do you think that’s a good idea for the Tonys?
Um Okay:
It’s nice they did a short little dance tribute to Tommy Tune in honor of his Lifetime Achievement Award, but it would have been a helluva lot better if they let him dance. Or sing. Or accept onstage!
Um Okay #2:
Why is Ashley Tisdale on stage? Just because she was introducing her BFF Vanessa Hudgens? I really loved that she did indeed say ‘my best friend Vanessa Hudgens’ lolol like high school I did love that. But I’m best friends with Ken Watanabe and I didn’t introduce him. Also what you wearing girl. The performance by the cast of ‘Gigi’ would have been halfway decent but Tisdale’s BFF had too many loud awkward shrieks that weren’t in a high enough register so it just sounded kind of creepy. Too many pervy oh’s and ee’s. So awkward. It’s just an overall shame for ‘Gigi’ that it came out the same season as another adaptation of a classic movie set in Paris, written by Alan Jay Lerner, and directed by Vincente Minnelli, and the other one (‘American in Paris’) just happened to be 100x better.
Best Moment for Womankind Since Hillary Became President:
Jeanine Tesori and Lisa Kron not only wrote the best score and book of this year, and of many years actually, but they also made history as the first all-female writing team to win best score. That is HUGE. Depressing for our past, but uplifting for our future. Their work on ‘Fun Home’ is astounding, heart-breaking, beautiful, and so intelligent and layered that I’m still realizing deeper meanings for certain lyrics or lines. That is impressive work. Their speeches were so necessary too, with Jeanine saying that “girls need to see it to be it”, meaning that you can’t just pay lip service and tell young girls they can be anything they want; you have to show them that it’s possible by giving all women the chance.
I also almost wept when the most adorable Joel Grey called it ‘the new American classic’. It is.
Worst Moment for the Art Form:
The continued brush-off of the Best Score and Best Book categories as they are presented during commercial breaks. That is bullshit. Those two pieces are literally the only two components of a musical, yet they aren’t important enough to make the broadcast? What is that about?
Best Performance:
Young Sydney Lucas, a Tony nominee for ‘Fun Home’ at the age of 11 and my choice if I were a voter, performed her big solo ‘Ring of Keys’, which is a genius look into the mind of a young girl as she realizes what is possible in terms of gender and its presentation and how all her jumbled thoughts can be reconciled as she discovers herself. The words sound exactly like something a 10 or so year old kid would say, yet they are still conveying an incredibly mature message and a brilliant look into what’s going on in her mind. And Sydney shows all of that when she sings this song. She is the best child musical actor probably ever and will win someday, I’m sure.
The camera is too close to her face, of course, because the camera people are drunk with power and don’t know how to channel it.
Worst Timing:
I thought the small bit with Kristin Chenoweth in an E.T. costume and Alan saying “I said FUN Home!” (get it, not ‘phone home’) was really funny, but terribly timed to almost coincide with the applause from Sydney’s performance. Just ain’t right.
Worst Timing (Serious):
When Marianne Elliott (yay female director!) was accepting the Best Direction for a Play award for ‘The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime’ (a show I feel like I saw a decade ago in London and ya know it was just a’ight dawg, just a’ight), she mentioned that her agent died on their Broadway opening night. Shit.
Best Green Moment:
Ruthie Ann Miles was as shocked as everyone else when she won, and I am so so happy for her. Everyone expected one of the ‘Fun Home’ ladies to win, as I did, but I am super happy for Ruthie, whom I adore. She broke out just recently as Imelda Marcos in ‘Here Lies Love’ and is already such a force on Broadway, so yay Ruthie! Anyway, she took out her phone to read her speech – which you know I hate, I don’t want anyone to ever prepare anything or have notes – but she deadpanned “Please recycle” to the camera when acknowledging that she wrote her notes on her phone. Love it! I also love that she went on so long that she was actually tap-danced off by the ‘On the Twentieth Century’ porters, as the hosts said would happen in the beginning if the speeches went on too long. Ruthie’s face when she realized the source of that sound was priceless.
The tappers from ‘On the Twentieth Century’ reminded me that they were the best part of that terrible show and that Kristin deserved such a better vehicle for her talents. But again that’s a post for another time.
Most Exciting Commercial Break:
What is this movie, “Bridge of Spies”, and why have I never heard of it! It is total Oscar bait and I am so excited. It stars Tom Hanks and Mark Rylance, like the best people ever, and I am really excited for Mark Rylance to win an Oscar and accept with a random poem and birds and have Hollywood be like, ‘am I hallucinating? What is happening up there?’ like he does when he wins Tonys. J’adore.
Grossest Misuse of a Celebrity:
Sting appeared only to thank the American Theatre Wing. Which is necessary and important, because the ATW makes all of this possible, but STING? Anyone could have read a few lines. Why didn’t they have Sting sing something? Or, better yet, feature ‘The Last Ship’, a very underrated show with hauntingly beautiful music?
Most British Moment:
The lead producer of ‘Curious Incident’, Tom Levy, accepted his award like someone just handed him a list of his duties for that work day. Like, I live in London now, I get that Britons aren’t allowed to smile or show emotion, but you just won a Tony, man! Get the stick out.
Most Adorable Fanboying:
Alan Cumming grasping his face every time he mentioned Josh Groban. I get it, man.
Funniest Host Bit:
I loved Kristin and Alan’s discussion of upcoming movie remakes of recent plays, especially when Kristin announced that she got the call for the animated version of ‘Skylight’ (oh dear) and was ‘playing the spaghetti bolognese’ that Carey Mulligan makes every night. Amazing.
Meanest Girl:
Amanda Seyfried does not seem like a hoot.
Randomest Presenting Team:
Jennifer Lopez, Nick Jonas, and Kiesza. I mean. What? They introduced ‘Finding Neverland’ because they are all on the pop version of the album? What is THAT? J-Lo couldn’t stop laughing, Nick Jonas couldn’t even remember who he was so I doubt the audience knew. And that other girl, Kiesza? Is that the new Czech persona of Ke$ha??
Lamest Result of Overvoting:
Overvoting is when voters get so excited about a show that they just vote for it mindlessly, leading to it winning in categories it doesn’t really deserve. It gets swept up in the hype. The worst casualty in my book this year was for set design. ‘An American in Paris’ won, okay, cool. But did you even SEE ‘The King and I’? I have seen most Broadway productions for at least the past decade. A set piece has NEVER, EVER, EVER gotten show-stopping applause during a show, until I saw ‘The King and I’ and that boat that opens the show just leaves everyone spellbound. It is a miraculous piece of theatre magic and should have won. Fo shame.
Best Random Interaction:
Joe Manganiello, talking about Carnegie Mellon for some reason, asks fellow CMU alum Darren Criss who his inspiration was. A truly game Darren responds without a beat: “I’ve seen ‘Magic Mike’ so I have to say I learned a lot from you!” Now that actually makes me like Darren Criss a little.
Best Repeat Winner:
I am so, so thrilled that Michael Cerveris won for his devastating portrayal of the late Bruce Bechdel in ‘Fun Home’. While newcomer Robert Fairchild (whom Cerveris called Fitzgerald, suchhh a bad brain fart, Cerveza) would have been equally deserving, the role of Bruce is such an important one for Cerveris and for theatre. It’s just wonderful and heartbreaking and I don’t care at all about spreading the wealth here. (Also he won more than a decade ago.)
NPH’s Best Oscars Moment:
Neil Patrick Harris’s best moment as Oscars host actually happened at the Tonys. Before announcing Best Leading Actress in a Musical, NPH said he had made some predictions that were locked in a box the whole show, before he was stopped. Ha ha. You were not a great Oscars host, that’s the joke, tee hee. “That’s a drag, because it went so well last time!” Aw, NPH, we love you.
Worst Decision:
I can’t believe they didn’t televise the awarding of John Cameron Mitchell’s Special Tony for returning to the role of Hedwig. I love him and he probably said some wonderful things but I don’t know because stupid producers put him during the commercials. JCM DESERVES BETTER.
Worst Audience Reaction:
Stupid people who get to go to the Tonys/Oscars/Grammys/any awards that honors the deceased, do NOT, I repeat, do NOT, woo and cheer for the person singing the In Memoriam. I don’t care that it’s Josh Groban, you make it seem like you are excited for the dead people. Then, once you get over the singer, DO NOT woo or cheer for the actual dead people FFS!!!!!! Who lets these people into the Tonys? Don’t applaud for the dead people you liked best you halfwits! Be silent and remember and honor all of these people. Don’t make everything a popularity contest you moronic shitbags I f-ing hate all of you who have applauded during an In Memoriam segment. I tweeted earlier that I hope anyone who cheers during an In Memoriam never gets to be a part of one, and while I think they would be really good punishment for most offenders, it’s not enough. Just shut up, not everything is about how you feel about something.
Most Emotional Win for a Blonde/Anyone Ever:
KELLI MY QUEEN!!!!!!!!!!!!! Kelli O’Hara, six-time nominee and the most deserving at least twice in the past (cough 2005 and 2014 cough), finally FINALLY won a Tony. And it was not out of sympathy, because I really think she gave the best actress performance this year. Kristin Chenoweth, the slightly more expected winner, gave a spectacular performance but in a terrible show, and Kelli added so much depth and roundedness to a character we thought we knew everything about, and stunned everyone with her never-ending wealth of talents. Also, she danced off the stage in glee. Now that was adorable!
KELLI MY QUEEN!!!!!!!!!!!!! Kelli O’Hara, six-time nominee and the most deserving at least twice in the past (cough 2005 and 2014 cough), finally FINALLY won a Tony. And it was not out of sympathy, because I really think she gave the best actress performance this year. Kristin Chenoweth, the slightly more expected winner, gave a spectacular performance but in a terrible show, and Kelli added so much depth and roundedness to a character we thought we knew everything about, and stunned everyone with her never-ending wealth of talents. Also, she danced off the stage in glee. Now that was adorable!
Best Audience Reaction:
The standing ovation they gave the much-deserving, always deserving, completely patient Kelli O’Hara, the queen of everything.
Best Presenter Banter, Probably Ever:
Larry David and Jason Alexander, different versions of the same guy I guess, presented the award for Best Musical, but first they went on and on with each other about how Larry’s show wasn’t nominated but he’s the bigger man for showing up or is a loser and yada yada yada it was hysterical. Jason first said that tomorrow he will be replacing Larry in ‘Fish in the Dark’, to which Larry said, “Well…you’re not really replacing, you’re just stepping in.” To which Jason mentioned his 7 Emmy nominations. To which Larry mentioned that the true measure of a man is NOT being nominated but still coming to read a list of people who are nominated. On it went. It’s too bad Larry’s play is already sold out because I’m sure they would have sold a lot of tickets with that bit. “Laughing until their faces are contorted into an anguished mask, that can best be described as a sort of…Bells Palsy.” Then Larry said it was anti-Semitism that caused the lack of nominations for him and for Harvey Weinstein, who clearly loved that line. Amazing.
WTF Moment:
WTF (that’s why not what) does Anna Wintour have a prime aisle seat?
So Who Won?
The point of the Tonys, at least for producers of current productions, is to get viewers to want to see their shows. So What do I want to see more than anything after this telecast? ‘Something Rotten’, which gave a fantastic performance, and ‘Hand to God’, funnily enough, which showed a really intriguing clip. And the beyond brilliant, beyond integral, totally flawless ‘Fun Home’ again. What do you want to see?
