Show Boat on the West End: Top-Notch Production of a Classic Showby Randi / August 16, 2016
*This post is part of a series in which I eat fancy Michelin-starred meals and then brag about it.
Recently, Husband and I celebrated our second wedding anniversary! Although the traditional gift is cotton, we decided we’d be okay with food instead. (We decided this last year too, and next year.) We quickly came up with The Clove Club after I was informed that eating tubs of soft serve from Yorica! probably isn’t a smart idea. Located in Shoreditch’s Town Hall, The Clove Club is only a few years old and a favorite of super hip people. To make sure people know how super hip it is and how special you have to be to get in, you don’t make a reservation per se; you buy tickets online to the ‘event’ of your dinner, well in advance. So we had tickets to the show a few weeks ago, on a Tuesday evening at 7ish, and it went past 11pm because it was a tasting menu at a Michelin-rated restaurant (one star) and that’s what they do that’s what they do.
The Clove Club shares sample tasting menus on their website, and lists a vegetarian option, which is a great start considering none of these restaurants (except Alinea) ever use the v-word without prompting. The sample vegetarian menu is heavy on dairy and eggs, but they assured us that they could easily make a vegan menu of equal quality. WE’LL SEE. (No they did, it was great.) I have no f-ing clue how many courses this is going to be, because we ordered the extended menu (which you can see; I love the restaurants that give you your personal menu like you’re a goddamn king) but like all such places, they send out a number of ‘snacks’ first that they don’t include on the menu and I forget what anything is the second I’m done eating it. Oh well.
When we arrived, various people led us to our little table in the little dining room, which was decorated simply. I didn’t notice any famies but then again I don’t know British celebrities at all. All the good ones go to American anyway amiright!! Our waitress was fantastic, and immediately confirmed that I was une vegan. I wish I remembered her name but all I remember is that she was from Sicily. She was seriously the best wait person I have encountered ever in this country. Give her a raise, Clove Club.
Sicilia (I’m just gonna call her that) immediately asked if we wanted still or sparkling water, so, plus 1 on the water issue getting handled quickly! To that question, I usually respond ‘tap’ because they are always trying to trick you into buying a bottle when they ask that question. Angry face! No one should have to pay for water! Luckily, Husband answered before I had the chance to embarrass us with my answer, because fancy clean water was included in our already-paid bill. Phew! They probably would have asked me to leave. Husband likes sparkling water and I like still, so they brought us bottles of both and kept refilling them at a very impressive pace. Bravo! Finally! Sicilia also confirmed that Husband was doing a wine pairing while I was getting a soft pairing! I had completely forgotten about that! This is the first time I’ve ever heard a restaurant offering beverage pairings with each dish for anything other than alcohol, so this was so exciting. Then she brought us cold towels like you might get on planes if you are a fancy person. I liked that they were chilled because it is summer (sort of), but I wonder if they give warm towels in the winter. That sounds like it would be nice.
Sicilia (I’m just gonna call her that) immediately asked if we wanted still or sparkling water, so, plus 1 on the water issue getting handled quickly! To that question, I usually respond ‘tap’ because they are always trying to trick you into buying a bottle when they ask that question. Angry face! No one should have to pay for water! Luckily, Husband answered before I had the chance to embarrass us with my answer, because fancy clean water was included in our already-paid bill. Phew! They probably would have asked me to leave. Husband likes sparkling water and I like still, so they brought us bottles of both and kept refilling them at a very impressive pace. Bravo! Finally! Sicilia also confirmed that Husband was doing a wine pairing while I was getting a soft pairing! I had completely forgotten about that! This is the first time I’ve ever heard a restaurant offering beverage pairings with each dish for anything other than alcohol, so this was so exciting. Then she brought us cold towels like you might get on planes if you are a fancy person. I liked that they were chilled because it is summer (sort of), but I wonder if they give warm towels in the winter. That sounds like it would be nice.
DON’T EAT THE YELLOW SNOW. or do
Okay so the food! We started quickly with a few tiny dishes, or snacks as they’re called, though I know from “Friends” that they should be called amuse bouches. Thanks television! First off was this freeze-dried yellow tomato ice crumble. I might be completely wrong. But this yellow stuff was definitely vegetable ice, and it was pretty goodl! It melted away sort of like a cross between sorbet and snow. Yeah it was very much like snow. It was really cool and refreshing.
ohneeon skin |
I’ll call you jicama |
The next bouche was a piece of fried onion skin, which sounds mean but it was decent. It tasted like a sophisticated onion ring without the stench of other Outback customers infiltrating it. I liked that it was something different and fun, although yeah it was a piece of ohneeon skin that they just chose not to throw away. Next was like a little sushi piece or wrap, with a thin crunchy vegetable ribbon rolled up with greens and a pate. I forget what the vegetable was; I want to say jicama because it looks like it but it wasn’t that. Whatever, it was a nice little veggie roll-up.
Fun with cookie cutters!
The last of our little snacks was hot! This star-shaped veggie patty was deeeelicious! I could have eaten 100 of ’em! It had a very thin outer layer and was soft inside, like a fried jawn you’d keep in the freezer for children. As a childlike person, I really enjoyed it. And it was a fun shape!
We were brought a basket of bread by this point, with olive oil for me. Like other Michelin restaurants who give you bread, the olive oil was the best I’ve had in a long time, probably since the last such place. The bread was good but it was cold. Well not cold but room temperature, I guess. If it was slightly warm it would have been off the chiz.
We were brought a basket of bread by this point, with olive oil for me. Like other Michelin restaurants who give you bread, the olive oil was the best I’ve had in a long time, probably since the last such place. The bread was good but it was cold. Well not cold but room temperature, I guess. If it was slightly warm it would have been off the chiz.
We’re on to the main event(s)! First up for me was a salt baked white beetroot, that they had grown in their special garden and sliced into thin ribbons. I’m loving all these ribbons, guys! I didn’t know you could make white beetroot; I thought the main identifying aspects of beets were that they were red and tasted like dirt. These were excellent though, and salt baking sounds like a great way to cook them. The white ribbons were mixed with hazelnuts and burnet, which I learned is a salad herb, and dressed up with little edible flowers. It was a truly beautiful dish, and a nice start to the main meal. My soft pairing here was so perfect for me it was like they researched me in advance – green juice! I forget the exact components but I think it had cucumber, parsley, and lemon.
Next was a salad of bobby beans, which I never heard of before, but apparently they’re just green beans, which I don’t count as beans, actually; I count them as vegetables. Regardless, this was the only sign of bean/protein in the entire meal, which is expected at nonvegan restaurants like this but disappointing. Definitely something these restaurants have in common and all need to work on. Anyway though, this was a very good little salad, with the green beans mixed with incredibly fresh and delicious peach, almond pieces, and something called manjimup truffle. The only manjimup I found while googling is a place is Australia, so I guess it’s a fancy way of saying imported truffle? I f-ing love truffles. Pour truffle oil on all of my food. I like it less so when it’s just sliced raw pieces because their immense flavor doesn’t fully come out that way, but even so I feel like Cathy Z. Jones when I am served it, so yeah still good. Ooh my soft pairing here was a cold Earl Grey tea with lavender, I think. Really good!
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Next was the standard you would expect when any and every nonveg place caters to a vegan – baked aubergine, or eggplant for you ‘mercans. Unlike the endless conference/wedding meals of crappy baked eggplant topped with bland tomato sauce, this version was wonderful. The tiny eggplants were cooked well and covered with herbs and a thin, tasty green tomato sauce. RG! My soft here I thiiiink was the apple juice, slightly greenified. Yum!
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As a little interlude in the meal, we were served a summer herb broth that was a million times more incredible than it should have been. This liquid was denser, flavor-wise, than anything I can remember ever eating, and each sip was like an enormous garden boiled down to a teaspoon. It really was great. I’m like the vegan version right now of what I imagine people who rave over bone broth are, except not a damn idiot.
CORN HAIR
The first course in Act II I think is my favorite, just because while being delicious it was also fun and kind of hilarious. The Scottish girolles, Michelin restaurants’ favorite mushroom, were grilled wonderfully and served with kale and sweetcorn. Then it was all topped with CORN HAIR! I find this so darn funny! I ate the corn hair, naturally, and it was pretty good so I do think I was supposed to eat it. Every component of this dish was great: kale is always welcome on my plate; the sweet corn tasted like perfect creamed corn down south; and the girolles were lovely. Yay fun great dish! Oh, you can sort of see in the background a little cup of red? That was my soft pairing, and while I couldn’t finish it, it was the most perfect pairing – red pepper and gochujang juice! Unlike my experience at the Just V Fest, this wasn’t just pure (chili) pepper; it was tempered with other fruits and vegetables, but it was pretty powerful and really just awesome, especially with the gochujang. I can’t do a lot of red pepper though before I start feeling sick, so the last sips went to Husband, who really enjoyed it. I just love this pairing idea because red pepper goes so well with corn! And corn hair!
One of the few times our courses resembled each other’s happened next, with the consomme. Mine was mushroom, and between this and the summer herb broth, I’m pretty sure The Clove Club has the best broths in the entire world. Such good liquids! And you know I love liquid! What put it over the top, though, was how it was served. The alcohol guy came over, not the waiters, with our soups and a bottle of 100-year-old Madeira. A small amount of the Madeira was poured into a big glass, and then swished around so it coated the glass, and then we were instructed to drink the bit that was left before the consomme was poured in. That way, we had the Madeira taste in our mouths and it was coating the glass, so it augmented the flavors of the consomme, which was amazing, deep and mushroomy. I don’t like alcohol but this was a really cool way to jazz up consomme while also making the diner feel super g-d special! I mean hell it was A HUNDRED YEARS OLD and the little amount they gave me probably cost like $200 or something crazy. Fire that son of a bitch up and throw it at my head!
Groatsy boatsy oatsy floatsy
My last savory course was this great pile of oat groat risotto with courgette (zucchini) and sunflower seeds. I knowwww you’re thinking, omg another dish of hot wet rice (risotto) at a fancy pants restaurant? I know because I thought it too, and always do when I’m presented with hot wet rice, the vegan standard dish all over the world. Le sigh. But this was great! The oat groats made for a nice creative change and helped to earthify the zucchini from being too light and sweet. The courgette flowers fried on top were a nice touch. The only problem was that half the zucchini was cut into thick slabs, which is gross, and thus undercooked. And that one with the little stalk-end still on it should have been cut off. That piece was really undercooked too, which was upsetting. But aside from the too-thick zucchini pieces (just ribbon it, always! otherwise it’s just plain warm zucchini which is usually not tasty), this was a nice dish and I really liked the main groat part.
Next came dessert! Unfortunately, dessert did not meet the higher standards set by the dinner part. What are the two things I always complain about being served for dessert as a vegan? Fruit sorbet, and fruit. And those were the two dessert courses here, sadly. They were still really good and impressive for what they are, but I just can’t help being the tiniest bit disappointed that, in essence, these two very basic things are the best this outstanding restaurant (and virtually all others) can come up with. You should be able to think of something more creative! I understand that the fact that they accommodated me at all is something, and that they can’t think of so many spectacular alternatives when they’re focusing on the main menu offerings, but still I have hope.
Little sorbet treat
At least the sorbet wasn’t lemon or something. It was apricot, and it really was delectable, for sorbet. Served with toasted almonds, a few mint leaves, and more edible flowers, it was beautiful looking and tasting. It was creamier than most sorbets are, so that is good. Okay, this one gets a pass! It really was good.
The second dessert was a lemongrass and berry jelly, which was fine but not worthy of ending the meal. A little too boring, a little too it’s-just-berries-and-jelly. Of course by this point I was seriously full anyway, so whatever.
The second dessert was a lemongrass and berry jelly, which was fine but not worthy of ending the meal. A little too boring, a little too it’s-just-berries-and-jelly. Of course by this point I was seriously full anyway, so whatever.
My last soft pairing was disappointing too. It was an elderflower juice, which normally I love, but it was just too f-ing sweet, cloying really. The rest of the soft pairings were absolutely killer so an off one had to happen, I guess. It’s just too bad it happened at the end. The berries were good, I’ll give them that! However, that little tart thing was for Husband, and I was told that because I don’t get one of those, I was given an extra strawberry piece. UM. That’s pretty lame. Like…that takes balls to offer as a substitute.
Aside from the final course and a few complaints here and there, this dinner really was impressive. All the savory dishes and snacks were delicious and interesting, as was the sorbet, though I hate to admit it. What really saved it after the disappointing finale was that they brought two house-made chocolate bars over for us to take home – and one was actually vegan! Similar places never have vegan chocolate! Huzzah! Totally saved. It was dark chocolate with coffee and biscuits, and I don’t like coffee but couldn’t taste it at all. I think it just enhanced the chocolate flavor. So nice!
Our lovely waitress brought over this little token at the end too, how cute!! She really was the best!
THE CLOVE CLUB, SHOREDITCH, LONDON, UK, EUROPE FOR NOW
Water speed: Amazing!! Great job! And it wasn’t tap but it was included dance dance dance! (I’m very cheap.)
Service: Absolutely wonderful. The best waitress in London by far!
Bathrooms: The bathrooms are downstairs, dark and reminiscent of like a brothel in 1800’s New Orleans. You know what I mean? The lighting was dim, the colors were dark reds and browns, and random cosmetics were scattered on display. A very strange mood going on but it was nice and clean, so whatever! Also I liked that the stall was separated from the sink area, despite being a single serve bathroom. People don’t have to wait outside that way, avoiding the awkwardness that comes from that. Oh the toilet seat was hysterically big and weird! That’s enough.
Food: A wonderful meal overall, with only very few missteps. As with all similar fancy but nonveg restaurants, they really could do to up the protein quotient of the vegan menu. They focus on doing vegetables and doing them very well, and I’m not saying add tofu or seitan or something when they don’t use it for the main diners, but add a bean here or there, ya know? And dessert, at least the final one, really could use some work. Other than that, it was splendid.
Bonus: The restaurant has a great atmosphere and makes you feel so special being there! Be cool like hip Shoreditch people! It was the perfect place to celebrate a special occasion. Oh and the biggest bonus – SOFT PAIRING!!!!
Water speed: Amazing!! Great job! And it wasn’t tap but it was included dance dance dance! (I’m very cheap.)
Service: Absolutely wonderful. The best waitress in London by far!
Bathrooms: The bathrooms are downstairs, dark and reminiscent of like a brothel in 1800’s New Orleans. You know what I mean? The lighting was dim, the colors were dark reds and browns, and random cosmetics were scattered on display. A very strange mood going on but it was nice and clean, so whatever! Also I liked that the stall was separated from the sink area, despite being a single serve bathroom. People don’t have to wait outside that way, avoiding the awkwardness that comes from that. Oh the toilet seat was hysterically big and weird! That’s enough.
Food: A wonderful meal overall, with only very few missteps. As with all similar fancy but nonveg restaurants, they really could do to up the protein quotient of the vegan menu. They focus on doing vegetables and doing them very well, and I’m not saying add tofu or seitan or something when they don’t use it for the main diners, but add a bean here or there, ya know? And dessert, at least the final one, really could use some work. Other than that, it was splendid.
Bonus: The restaurant has a great atmosphere and makes you feel so special being there! Be cool like hip Shoreditch people! It was the perfect place to celebrate a special occasion. Oh and the biggest bonus – SOFT PAIRING!!!!
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London VegFest Weekend: So Much To Eat! So Much To Do…& Eat!
For the last official day of VeganMOFO, I want to talk about London’s hottest new nightclub. London’s weekend-long VegFest happened a few days ago, and I was lucky enough to eat my way through both days! It was so fun to be surrounded by like-minded people, including some great friends I am so happy to live near again. The best part of any festival like this is the food, and I was not disappointed here. Okay, I was a little disappointed. The actual food for sale from the many, many caterers was overall subpar. However, the vast number of companies giving delicious samples and the overall spirit of the weekend made up for it. I realize I’m a few days late, but it’s always the right time for judgment.
THE GOOD
The best part of the weekend was the people! I saw my friends from Vegan in Brighton and Alien on Toast (their blog names are so descriptive!), some other mighty fine PPKers, and new blogger friends I admire from Hasta la Vegan and Tea and Sympatico. Jojo spoke to a pretty large crowd about vegan travel, and despite my best efforts to catch her eye and make her laugh, she did a great job! I also caught a little of Brendan Brazier’s talk about using nutrition to reduce stress. Audience members were furiously taking notes during his entire presentation, with their eyes wide and bulging like the crazy alien dog at the end of “Ghostbusters”, so I assume he is now some sort of cult leader and/or too much Vega.
One of the Brassieres
Most of the food and products on offer were fabulous! I loved talking with several company representatives, most of whom were very friendly and helpful. Before I get to good product booths, let’s talk about the food I actually bought.
The best thing I ate were the baked spring rolls full of duck, mustard greens, and sweet chili from this place to the left, The Hungry Gecko, which for two days I thought was called the World Street truck. They were a decent size and priced well at 5£. And they were delicious! I had never heard of this company before and was pleasantly surprised by these rolls. Unfortunately, the next thing I tried from them (and from everyone else, almost) was not as good (see below).
Baked (though they didn’t taste it!) veggie duck spring rolls
One of my absolute favorite stalls at the fest was BFVB, the Big Fat Vegan Bakery. Now this is what festival food should look like, dammit! Everything they sold was ENORME, yet it was still super affordable. That insanely human-size focaccia was only 3£ or so! I don’t know why I didn’t buy one. I did buy a very large cream-filled chocolate king that lasted for several days. The donut pastry wasn’t as fluffy as it could have been, but it was still awesome! I wish this bakery was easier to find!
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I also loved that there was a smoothie truck! SoulJuices made me a wonderful carrot, ginger, apple, spinach juice for £4, which is kind of pricey but I guess that’s London. The man who made it asked me my juice preferences (strong on the ginger, &c), which I appreciated. The truck also sold a delicious special smoothie of wheatgrass, spinach, mango, apple, and peach, which was insanely thick and smooth. And you couldn’t tell from it that wheatgrass is gross.
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As for the vendors, many were outstanding! Even if your product is great, it takes more than that to have a good stall at a fest like this. You need samples, and you need lots of them. You need nice people, and you need to offer deals better than what you usually retail for. Let’s look at the vendors who succeeded.
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Cocoa Feliz had the most beautiful table I’ve ever seen in a warehouse full of stalls. You could tell by how carefully they laid out every single chocolate that they cared about their product enough to devote real time and effort to its sale. The same cannot be said for many others. Anyway, the chocolate from Cocoa Feliz is awesome. They have crazy interesting flavors like cardamom & coffee and juniper & bay, and well as standards like peanut butter and mint fondant. They all come in dark, milky, or white options. I love that they provide all three types of each! It’s so nice! The chocolates were absolutely delicious.
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Nakd bars did a great job as well. They had tons of samples, including new flavors like Christmas pudding (kind of weird). Even better, they had a fantastic 18 bars for £8 deal going on. This is the kind of basic fest behavior that other companies with similar products could learn from! We’ll get there.
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OH WHERE DID YOU GO, GIANT WAGGON WHEEL WITH VEGAN MARSHMALLOWWWWS! |
Another fantastic vendor was Goody Goody Stuff, makers of the most wonderful vegan gummies! The company’s representatives were so friendly and helpful, and they had bowls out of some of their wonderful gummies. They also were kind enough to share other products with me, and they were all fantastic! The summer peaches have a great flavor, but I actually liked the sour fruit salad the best. I usually hate sour things, but these are a little more sweet than sour, and it just works so well. And the texture is a little stronger, which I like. It’s hard to get the texture right without gelatin, but these are the closest I’ve had so far. I also loved the Koala gummy bears. Gummy bears are one of my favorite food groups, so I was so happy to find these. I’m so happy to be in a land of delicious vegan gummies.
I don’t have pictures because MASS CROWD but Sheese did a fantastic job! It made me really like the company and the cheeses. I was never a cheese person, but I could see myself buying Sheese. Ananda Foods was selling several products (I didn’t see any discernible discount though, boo), mostly with their marshmallow stuff, including their incredible Round Up! Waggon Wheels. They are like Mallomars of my youth but with even more marshmallow. And they’re vegan! I’m such a fan. They did a giveaway for a giant (and I mean giant, like 15 inch diameter??) waggon wheel (I’m pretty sure it’s waggon with two g’s which I don’t like) and I lost. I am still distraught. If you see a giant vegan marshmallow cookie sandwich covered in chocolate for sale elsewhere, please get one for me k thx.
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While Ananda had a great product but no samples or legit discounts (I mean I’m not mad), moo free chocolates shared their great product, good deals, and had ridiculously sized samples. They shared new holiday flavors and had the advent calendar for sale for only £4! (I should have gotten one; I’ve never had an advent calendar!) They also had buckets of broken up chocolate bars for you to try. I loved the people working this booth. They were so friendly and were like, ‘Hey did you try this flavor yet?’ and held up a bucket to me and I pulled out a ‘sample’ piece that was like 5 inches long. I couldn’t even finish it! And then I bought stuff from them, because that’s the point of nice people, good deals, and samples to know if you will like the product before you buy it. People. It’s easy. Moving on…
I think Vegusto had the most popular booth in the entire place, because they were selling their hot dogs and sausages on buns. They are sooo good! They had samples of their hard cheeses, which aren’t my favorite, but you couldn’t even get to them because the line for the food was so long. So worth it! They know how to sell their product and increase interest.
St Best patties |
Rainforest Creations |
Other great caterers were St Best Caribbean caterers, who had fantastic veggie-filled patties, and Rainforest Creations, whose raw and delicious food I always enjoy in Spitalfields market. Bangwok also had really popular pad thai that people said was great.
The always great Ms. Cupcake sold out on both days super quickly! So impressive!
The always great Ms. Cupcake sold out on both days super quickly! So impressive!
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I also really liked Jollyum ice cream. The lady who helped me was really nice and took time to answer questions. And the product was good too!
Aside from food, I loved the dishware from Magpie. How pretty is it?
Aside from food, I loved the dishware from Magpie. How pretty is it?
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While so much was good, I want to also talk about what was bad and what was worse. Yayyy judgment!!
THE BAD
Unfortunately, a lot of the caterers made food that did a disservice to the glory of so much vegan food. It was bland, tasteless, weird, not worth it. Boooo! There is so much delicious vegan food (that even I can make!) so there are no excuses.
First, unfortunately, was the much-anticipated food at Rupert Street’s truck. I have been looking forward to them for months, but this experience was disappointing. The corn tamale on a bed of grains and vegetables was so bland that it was like eating weird air.
I guess I was wrong to assume that tamales be filled with something? But this corn tamale was just a cylinder of corn masa. Like…it was all breading. There was no filling. Isn’t that weird??
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It looks so good but it’s all so wrong. I’ll definitely try something else at Rupert Street to give them another chance, but I’m not looking forward to it. |
Next up on my list of sadness was the Pani Puri Pops at The Hungry Gecko. The menu said they were ‘traditional Indian street food’. So that sounded promising enough.
So…I don’t know how people could eat this on the street. It was a cold cilantro-laden soup, and the ‘pop’s were little fried cups full of…air. It was so weird. VegFest caterers sponsored by weird air? I don’t know how people eat this without just breaking the fry cups into the soup and then eating it with a spoon. So weird, so disappointing.
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Sadness soup pops |
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I was also super excited to try The Honest Carrot. I think I’ve had one of their famous ‘roast’ balls (above, right) long ago, and it was yummy and super healthy. I tried another one this time (the superfood roast ball) as well as the leek, squash, and butter bean mini pie. Honestly, I think this kind of food needs refrigeration or something. The pie crust was insanely soggy to the point where most of it looked and felt like injera. It was not delicious. The inside was pretty tasty but how do you eat a pie filling when the crust is inedible?? The superfood roast had a weird raw broccoli and cranberry taste, but it was better at home where I nuked it. Sigh.
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The Primal Kitchen was there with unremarkable bars to taste, placed on rough wooden slabs so we got the whole caveman thing. The bars are all vegan, and they weren’t terrible, but I’m bothered that a company whose mission is to get people to eat meat, eggs, seafood, and their bars was at VegFest.
The next super sad table belonged to Fry’s Vegetarian. I’m sure most of us love their products, but they do not know how to present at a festival. They had 20% off their products, which is definitely awesome, but the table was just their products’ boxes, sitting there, doing nothing, no singing, no dancing. Like, who is going to be lured into buying something you can’t taste or even see? They had the saddest little sample trays as well, just a few cubes of the weirder meats as far as I could tell. Paltry showing for such a large company.
The next super sad table belonged to Fry’s Vegetarian. I’m sure most of us love their products, but they do not know how to present at a festival. They had 20% off their products, which is definitely awesome, but the table was just their products’ boxes, sitting there, doing nothing, no singing, no dancing. Like, who is going to be lured into buying something you can’t taste or even see? They had the saddest little sample trays as well, just a few cubes of the weirder meats as far as I could tell. Paltry showing for such a large company.
So sad
THE UGLY
What makes the following stuff ugly and not bad? Well, for starters, most of the products were actually delicious. Most of the companies are ones that I adore. What makes this ugly is the kind of interaction I had with them during VegFest. It hurts me that our encounters weren’t as great as their products, or as great as I had hoped. Some people, man.
First up, well let’s just start with the one that broke my heart the most. Vega.
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I actually said to my friend Sarah, “Don’t let me leave without buying a bunch of Vega stuff!” I love Vega products, but it’s so expensive to buy in the UK. I was excited to buy some where there would be some sort of discount and where shipping wouldn’t be an issue. However, despite setting this reminder, I left on purpose without buying any. Why? Because the people (mostly the man) working the booth were super rude and uninterested in helping customers. I asked about the new bars that I had heard about (there weren’t any samples on Sunday so I was asking to make sure I got the right product), and he barely registered that he had heard me. His response? Walking away. There were no other potential customers around me, so that wasn’t the reason. And I’m a pretty damn polite person, so that wasn’t it. On Saturday too, when I passed by and asked about the products available and the discount (barely noticeable), this man was just as curmudgeonly and awful, so exhaustion from the weekend isn’t an excuse. I don’t really know why Vega, such a successful company, sent this man to deal with customers, but that was stupid. I walked away pissed, confused, and empty-handed. One or two awful reps won’t put me off Vega for good, but I’m happy using my Sunwarrior powders at the moment, thank you very much.
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Next up! The ridiculousness of Organic Livity. The raw cakes looked delicious, and what I tried was indeed great. But, they don’t look or taste raw. I bought a raw Mexican chocolate brownie with mint cream icing. I was so excited! I love raw brownies and I love mint! But I am not convinced that the mint cream, which tasted exactly like the icing sugar- and margarine-filled frostings every nonraw baker (including myself) uses, was raw. However, I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt on that one. (Even though some of the raw cakes looked like baked flour. I don’t know how on earth that stuff could have been raw. Unless, as my companion said, the ingredients were raw; the final product wasn’t. Love it.)
My friend and I joked that they were ‘free from treats’, as in, not treats at all, free from all semblance of treatiness.
See that cake in the back? How is that not cooked??
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My real gripe is that it is such a superb waste of money for what you get. That brownie I got? For £2.50, I expected a regular sized brownie. Definitely not as big as the enormous donut (for the same price) from BFVB, but something at least visible. Nope. I watched as the guy carefully cut a tablespoon-sized piece for me, placed it carefully in a box, and handed it to me like it was made of gold, as my friend nearly pissed herself in disbelief. Rip. Off.
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This is slightly bigger than my thumbnail, which I keep very short. |
Lastly, my favorite encounter happened with The Chocolatier, this super fancy water ganache maker who sells to Michelin-starred restaurants, fancy businesses, and of course the Royal Family. The chocolate is outstanding (it better be for £10 per bar), and again I was so excited to buy some of the truffles, but nooooo.
Just to be clear, the slightly older lady working this booth (at least on Saturday) was the sweetest person ever. When you walked by, she stuck out little spoons of their ganache shots and smiled until you ate it. I love her. However, she wasn’t there when I was ready to buy on Sunday. A young woman, with what looked like professionally done makeup, who was probably my age but treated me like a child, was in charge. And my friend and I didn’t even have a chance to open our mouths before this girl regaled us with how fancy their usual clients are. This is almost verbatim: “We normally do business with Michelin restaurants and five-star hotels, and extremely high-profile private businesses. The rest of our clients are the Royal Family and other highly sophisticated people. We just loooooove doing this public events so that members of the public who normally wouldn’t be able to experience our services have this wonderful chance to experience something that normally only highly sophisticated people get to experience.” I guess I’m not highly sophisticated enough for her because I immediately vomited upon her. BARRRRRF.
I of course don’t want to leave on that vomitous note, so here are a few of my absolute favorite images from VegFest. Overall, it was a wonderful time, and the shitty aspects at least made it interesting.
WHATTTT.
WHAAAAAATTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Amazing.
Veganizing “Friends”: Chandler’s “Righteous” Mac & Cheese
Righteous mac & cheese with some burnt Brussels sprouts
If you know “Friends” (and I hope you do!), you know that Chandler hates, I mean HATES, Thanksgiving. His parents announced their divorce on Thanksgiving when he was nine years old, and he was so upset that he threw up all the traditional foods he had eaten. Subsequently, he refused to ever celebrate the holiday or eat ‘Thanksgiving-y’ foods. (If I recall correctly, he also started smoking at this point too. At age 9.)
So, we learn through flashbacks that, during college, Ross brought his roommate Chandler home for several Thanksgivings. The first time, Monica offered to make him mac & cheese since he didn’t eat Thanksgiving food. When eating it, Chandler said, in an offhand way, “This is great, you should be a chef!” and Monica just excitedly said “Ok!” And as we know, she became a professional chef. It’s one of my favorite Fat Monica moments, though I love her allatimes.
So, we learn through flashbacks that, during college, Ross brought his roommate Chandler home for several Thanksgivings. The first time, Monica offered to make him mac & cheese since he didn’t eat Thanksgiving food. When eating it, Chandler said, in an offhand way, “This is great, you should be a chef!” and Monica just excitedly said “Ok!” And as we know, she became a professional chef. It’s one of my favorite Fat Monica moments, though I love her allatimes.
So, the following Thanksgiving, Chandler (having dropped his Flock of Seagulls look for a Miami Vice one) asked Monica if she’d again make him some of that “righteous mac & cheese”.
So yay, we are making some righteous mac & cheese! And it’s not even Thanksgiving! (Mac & cheese is ideal for any occasion.) This is the dish that gave Monica her start as a chef! Soo important. This recipe is my usual weekly go-to, but I added a secret ingredient today – caramelized onions – to give it a richer, more autumn, more Thanksgiving-y taste.
You start by boiling carrots and potatoes. I got the idea from the famous VegNews recipe years ago, and since then I’ve adapted it into my own specialty. I usually do two pounds (!!) of each, like 7-8 small potatoes and 10 peeled and chopped carrots (not baby carrots, too sweet). Come on, you need lots of sauce! Then, you blend the vegetables with margarine, milk, nooch, cashews, mustard, lemon, salt and pepper, and sometimes soy sauce/tamari/miso if it needs to be saltier. Mix in your pasta, and voila! My favorite mac & cheese.
It’s like boiling fall
DIRECTIONS:
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INGREDIENTS:
Caramelizing the onions, feeling the flow. These shrunk down to about 1/3 of what you see here when finished
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Blending the sauce!
I make some version of this every week. I love it. The addition of caramelized onions added a warm depth of holiday flavor, but it made the dish a bit too sweet for me. However, just the natural sugars of plain cooked root vegetables, like sweet potatoes and butternut squash, are often too sweet for my tastes. So, if you are a normal person, you’ll probably really like this! You can always make it the regular way first, and then try blending the onions into a portion of it to see if you like it. Either way, it’s a delicious creamy pasta dish. It’s not as blue-box ‘cheesy’ as other recipes, but it’s my favorite. Let me know if you make it!
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Questions for Giveaway points!!
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