Love From Philly: Charlie was a sinner. Elevates Philly’s Vegan Scene

For our recent anniversary (aw thanks), Husbo and I returned to one of our favorite fancy restaurants in London, The Clove Club. We celebrated our anniversary there two years ago, and this year we decided to shake our shoulders like Danny Burstein’s adorable Tevye and make a tradition of it. You might recall that last year, we were on a train to Chengdu for our anniversary, which was prettay prettay disgusting. To make up for that (plus 98% of all our train experiences last year), we splurged on this super extravagant dinner again. The Clove Club is one of the few Michelin-starred restaurants in London that will offer a worthwhile vegan tasting menu, so it always comes to mind first when we are considering super swanky restaurants. 

One of the first UK restaurants to use the ticketing system, where you pay when you make the reservation, The Clove Club is a ritzy Shoreditch restaurant with an exclusive club-like vibe, located in Shoreditch Town Hall. It has one Michelin star and it’s the UK’s highest ranked restaurant on the World’s 50 Best Restaurants list, at #33. (Last year it was #26, just saying.) (Alinea is #34 so take this list, like all lists/awards, with a dangerous-for-your-blood-pressure amount of salt since that restaurant is extraordinarily better than most of the places ahead of it.)

Also, I believe it’s the only restaurant I’ve ever been to that offers a soft pairing instead of just a wine pairing with your menu. They even say on the website that they do that; it’s not like some secret you have to ask for. Especially in London, where most of the social activity for a non-drinker involves watching everyone else drink till they’re pissed (UK has a serious alcoholism problem but it’s part of the culture so it will remain ignored), it’s great for a non-drinker to have a nice option. In fact, on this visit our waiter told me that not only were they offering a soft pairing, they had two soft pairings available! I could choose between juice and tea, and obviously I chose juice. There were a few missteps in there, but I’ll talk more about that below.

Soon after we were seated, we were asked about our beverages – the wine and the soft pairings, yes, but also whether we wanted still or sparkling water. You know I appreciated getting right to the most important issue – water – without making me take out my big reusable bottle from my bag in a place like this. As usual, I chose still and Z chose sparkling, and the server assigned to our water needs (lol the dream) got confused and gave both of us sparkling for much of the meal. Luckily our main server took over at some point and gave me still. It is hard to chug sparkling and I like to chug! 

We were getting the tasting menu, and so the first few dishes sent out were little off-menu ‘gifts’ from the kitchen to amuse our bouches, which are always some of the most interesting bites. I received an adorable tiny crispy cup of green beans and edible flowers that tasted of dill, and even though I tend not to like dill because of food poisoning memories, I loved this. Next up was a little turnip roll, looking like a sushi roll or a baby burrito or something but it was rolled up turnip. Sounds whack, tasted amazing.

My last amuse was a chickpea panisse, and I almost high-fived the waiter who brought it. I was psyched for some acknowledge that vegan proteins exist, and also I just forking love everything made with chickpea flour, like socca, and this was a little bite of socca. 

To follow up/erase the little treats, they next brought me melon gazpacho granita as a palate cleanser, though a more interesting one than usual. 

At this point in my notes, I wrote ‘Almost a potato but watery’ and I have zero clue what I meant by that or what point in the meal it was supposed to correspond to, if it was related to this meal at all. Recent-past me was very wise though, so I will use the phrase as much as I can.

Next, I was brought one warm tomato. I kind of thought ho boy, is this how it’s gonna be? After that promising chickpea panisse? But it was one warm good tomato, doused with soy sauce, almost a potato but watery, and even though it was hard to eat, I remembered that it’s all about the meal at large at a place like this, not each individual dish. It was served with a fresh cucumber juice, tinged with a little apple and some other subtle hints of this and that to make a really lovely, refreshing cucumber juice. A soft pairing win! 

My next course needs no introduction. It was BEANS! I love beans oh how I love beans, especially in fancy restaurants who would love to only give me single tomatoes and no protein. The white beans (the server said cocoa beans?? but no) (I googled and apparently Coco de Paimpol beans are a thing and are whitish so that is probably it; shortening it to ‘coco’ is misleading guys!) were served with impeccably cooked and flavored mushrooms, so it was a dish I often cook myself but made delicious and wonderful. My drink of the moment was a buckwheat iced tea, which I loved because I love buckwheat and really got into buckwheat teas in China last year. It was Bucks County up in here! Calling it another Soft Pairing Win even though it was a tea and not a juice and I thought they were two different routes to take but I guess sometimes they share the path? 

The next course was my absolute favorite and brought the whole shibang to another level. I got a little bowl of the freshest herb broth that was like if everything green and fresh and herby was reduced to their strongest, most sublime levels of green and fresh and herby taste concentration and probably mixed with a little magic. It was INCREDIBLE. I mean yeah it was broth, but incredible forking broth. There was a baby potato and a single strand of samphire in the bowl, which was fun to try to get when you were drinking directly from the bowl. I would say the potato in the broth was almost a potato but watery, but it really was a potato. It was served with the greatest piece of solid food ever, too – a cracker of crispy potato topped with white bean puree and amazing grilled mushrooms (but grilled differently from the previous course, I believe). Everything about this course was perfection and I really wanted to shout ‘just give me a million of these, please’ which really should be an option when you are paying this much but alas, I behaved. 

Next up to bat, we have a wonderful white beet dish. The beets were sliced super thin and I guess the whiteness instead of the redness means there is no trace of any dirt taste that regular beets often have, and they were topped with slivered almonds. The waiter poured a Greek yogurt (made from almonds) sauce over the whole thing, and it was splendid. It looks like a mess because I didn’t get the picture until after the pouring happened, but whatevs. So good! And I appreciate the perfectly smooth almond yogurt sauce that I like to think they made just for me that night. 

While this course was great, the soft pairing was…not. You may remember from my previous Clove Club review that I was given a red pepper juice to accompany a corn-based dish, and the match of red pepper and corn was highly praised. However, I also mentioned that too much juiced red pepper is a lot to ask someone to drink. At this latest meal, the red pepper juice was a weird match for white beet and yogurt, and the giant glass was way too much to ask. I could barely finish two sips before I wanted to barfalomew. Soft Pairing Fail.

Luckily, this was about the time they brought out their superb sourdough bread, so I could get rid of the taste. Their bread is so good we would have happily filled up on it even though everyone always says not to do that, for some dumb reason.

The more substantial ‘main’ dish section of the menu came out now, and my first of these was a grilled baby eggplant with cumin sauce and eggplant caviar. So, not the most interesting or inventive dish, but it tasted great and was well made. Still, given the setting, you’d hope for something more imaginative. I LOVED my soft pairing, though: a steaming hot pot full to the brim of mushroom tea. I drank the whole pot and loved it. The taste was very subtle, almost bland, but that’s okay for tea, and the smell was sensational (just like MUSHROOM and SO STRONG).

The last of the savory courses was one of my favorite parts of the dinner: a plate of maitake mushrooms and broccoli and other greens and leaves served with a courgette (zucchini) puree and a Jura foam. Jura, I learned, is a region of France where they make their own kind of French wine and so this foam was made from that, I guess, but was cooked and foamified so it didn’t taste like or have alcohol. So fancy, so delicious! They really based my meal around cooking mushrooms impeccably and I am down with that. 

Unfortunately, my soft pairing for this wonderful course was a big bummer: They brought me a non-alcoholic beer. Okay there’s a lot to go over here. First of all, I said juice pairing. JUICE. Second, you’re assuming that the people not drinking alcohol still like the taste of alcohol. That’s a very bold assumption to make, and one that I don’t think will ever prove true in any situation. Third, you don’t know why I’m not drinking. What if I was an alcoholic and the taste of beer, even without the alcohol, was a big trigger? Fourth, WHO LIKES NON-ALCHOLIC BEER? Literally NO ONE on the planet. Lastly, and most offensive to me personally, this felt exceedingly lazy. We’re paying more than we’ve ever paid for any meal up in here, and someone back there is like ‘hmm, we need a drink for this dish that isn’t alcohol, oh I know, how about just this beer that the alcohol pairing is getting but the non-alcoholic kind! Great! Except not great. Beer is disgusting and non-alcoholic beer is bullshit. SOFT PAIRING FAIL. Ugh thank goodness most of this meal was wonderful because this aspect of it feels really like a slap in the face. 

Luckily dessert came next to distract me from my OVERWHELMING RAGE. 

And dessert was epic. You know from my past reviews of fancy places that don’t primarily cater to vegans that they often just can’t do dessert. They either buckle under the pressure or they never give a shit in the first place and they go ‘oh here’s a plate of fruit and, if we feel like trying a little, that same fruit made into a syrup or a sorbet ENJOY THAT WILL BE $100!’ But my two desserts (actually, three sort of) from Clove Club this evening were remarkable. Not only were they both interesting and creative, but they were also delicious.

First up was a blackcurrant granita with soy foam and berries. The soy foam was more of a substantial cream and there was more of it than there was granita, so that really saved this from being one of the aforementioned kinds of lazy vegan desserts, as did the fact that it tasted great. The granita was a little too melted underneath the cream, like it was ready in the kitchen before the server fetched it for us, but things happen. There was also a shot of olive oil poured across it, which seems fancy and whimsical but I couldn’t really taste it so that’s just like unnecessary fat but whatever. Oh so for my American readers, blackcurrant is like the most popular fruit flavor in the UK. Husbo keenly observed (he’s so keen) that it’s used as commonly here as grape flavor is in the USA. It’s pretty strange to UK friends that blackcurrant juice et al. is just not a thing in the states. Anyway great dessert. BUT, the real treat of this course was the soft pairing! Thank god they returned with such a strong followup to the Biggest Fail in Soft Pairing History because this blackcurrant and beetroot soda was so incredible, so perfect and delicious with both flavors balanced, that it almost made up for everything. I wish I could buy this soda from them to have at home. And I don’t even drink soda! 

But the last dessert was the winner, maybe of the whole meal, maybe at least tied with that herby broth and potato thing. This is the kind of dessert I want to share with all future omnivore restaurants who claim to be able to make me something good. It was a caramel ice cream (WIN) on top of a coffee meringue foam (WIN) on top of potato sticks (WHAT SURPRISE WIN). The potato sticks were exactly like those things we’d get at a Wawa as kids, which I completely forget the name of but could NEVER forget the taste. YOU KNOW like those superskinny shoestring potato sticks (the name was probably Potato Stix lol) and they were so greasy and salty and amazing. Well whoever had the idea of putting them with caramel ice cream and meringue deserves a medal. This dessert was REMARKABLE. And I don’t even like coffee, well I don’t drink it, but in dessert form it was great, especially mixed with caramel. And potato stix. The soft pairing was a pear juice with coffee syrup and it was delicious. Another SP Win.  

As is the case with these fancy super long tasting menus, when you think you are finished and you can’t possibly eat another bite of anything, they bring you petit fours with your coffee or bill as supposedly a little treat but at this point it’s like a mockery of your stomach. Unforch, Husbo got the petit fours because they didn’t have vegan versions. However, they gave me a house-made dark chocolate bar, as they did last time, and it’s good chocolate. And since the guy who brought it to me felt bad that I didn’t get the petit fours/knew I was going to mention this on the internet/saw how much I loved chocolate by my face tattoo that says I Love Chocolate, he brought me a second one! So I brought 1.5 very nice dark chocolate bars home.

All in all, this was a spectacular meal that lived up to our expectations and memories of last time. Even though there were a few missteps and a few things that are making my veins pop and not in my forearms like I like, overall it was wonderful. But it is incredibly expensive, and even though it was a special occasion, it feels very strange to spend that much money on a meal. That guilty feeling is stronger than usual now that it’s like end-of-days time and everything is going to shit, so it might have to be the last fancy meal for a while. Or, if it really is end-of-days there is no reason to save our money soooo maybe not. WEIRD ENDING. 

CLOVE CLUB, SHOREDITCH, LONDON, UK, EUROPE FOR NOW
Water speed: Pretty good, though not as good as last time and I got a lot of sparkling by accident. I know that sounds like theeeee most entitled bullshit to complain about but that kind of detail is what Michelin stars are given for.
Service: Very nice.
Bathrooms: The bathrooms are downstairs, dark and reminiscent of like a brothel in 1800’s New Orleans. You know what I mean? The lighting was dim, the colors were dark reds and browns, and random cosmetics were scattered on display. A very strange mood going on but it was nice and clean, so whatever! Also I liked that the stall was separated from the sink area, despite being a single serve bathroom. People don’t have to wait outside that way, avoiding the awkwardness that comes from that. Oh the toilet seat was hysterically big and weird! That’s enough. (copied from previous review because it’s the same.)
Food: Splendid! I read over my previous review, and all my food-based complaints seem to have been addressed: the lack of protein was fixed (they could still do more, especially in the two mains, but still, an improvement), the desserts were improved by extraordinary leaps and bounds.
Bonus: Great to have a fancypants restaurant for special occasions/profligate spending when you have no need for money anymore.

As we saw in the Singapore travel post, this city-state is a wonderful destination even if you aren’t (synchronized) swimmin’ in dollas. This tiny lil baby island republic has lots of interesting sites, history, and culture to offer regular old visitors like you and me (I’m assuming you, unless you’re like Jeff Bezos but I don’t think Bezos reads this site anymore, not after all the shit I said about him (#billionairesareimmoral)). But that’s not what we’re after. No, who cares about history? When it comes to Singapore, the #1 priority is the food. And like most of its Southeast Asian neighbors (and most places in general nowadays), the vegan food is incredible, cheap, and easy to find. As the kids today would say, it slaps. The food slaps. Am I using that right? 

Not to make all my talk about Singapore reference Crazy Rich Asians (although it IS the best movie of 2018 and I dare you to question that (no really I’d love to talk more about 2018 movies if you want)) (okay you’re right, tied for first with Set It Up, of course of course), but you know the scene when Nick and Rachel arrive in Singapore and Dr. Azumi and her kind of magoo fiance take them to the food markets and Nick’s like “Singapore’s the only place in the world where market stalls earn Michelin stars” and you’re like “okay buster that happened like two times ever, chill your jets” but you don’t actually say anything mean to Nick because he’s too really really ridiculously good-looking? That scene very accurately captures my time in Singapore, just in awe of the incredible food. Pretend every day is Thanksgiving and/or you’re practicing to be a competitive eater. Act like those monsters at President Snow’s fancy parties in the Capital. We went to those markets. And you’ll go to those markets. Because honestly, all you should be doing in Singapore is eating, and then going to see all the cultural sites mostly to build up an appetite. 

That CRA market, Newton Centre, might be famous for its pork noodles and its chicken rice, plus its long lines of people waiting for those classic dishes, but vegans should eagerly jump right into the fray as well. You can easily get those amazing noodles sans meat, con veggies (Singapore mixes cultures and cuisines like I’m mixing languages), and there are veggies, tofu, soy milks, and beans-atop-shaved-ice all over. 

A similar giant, crowded, amazing food market is the Albert Centre, which is where my (terrible; it was dark and crowded and also I was distracted by ALL THE FOOD) pictures were taken. The Albert (at 270 Queen Street) is less touristy than the Newton but just as good. I found some of my favorite vegan-friendly stalls here.

You can’t see it because of the terrible lighting (I told you, can’t be mad) but the sign reads “Woong Kee Traditional Beancurd”. Traditional beancurd??? Fire that sucker up and throw it at my face! Like with everything, you have to be careful and communicate that you don’t want any gross animal products, but this particular stall was pretty clear. I got a little cup o’ dessert beancurd, flavored with a simple syrup (not actual ‘simple syrup’, like a simple syrup). Who doesn’t love a cup o’ beancurd! (Lots of you I bet, but you’re missing out. TOFU IS WHAT YOU MAKE OF IT!)

If anyone goes and finds out what Healthy Bean has for sale, let me know; I’m sad it was closed.

One thing that Singapore does very, very wool is epic shaved ice dessert concoctions. You get a wonderfully wide range of topping options, from tropical fruit to sugar syrups to all kinds of beans (I love that Asia recognizes that beans are for every meal). You can’t go wrong doing what I did – just pointing at brightly colored pictures and saying ‘yes please’ and it will hundo p be delicious. 

Don’t forget to order my favorite thing (signage-wise) at this stall – the rainbow grains! Best name for jimmies/sprinkles yet.

Okay, our next stop on our whirlwind tour of just some of what we ate in Singapore, is one of my favorites because I prefer supes healthy food, especially when traveling, but I know the majority of people like to indulge more when traveling. (“Why can’t you just bring a toothbrush?” “Same reason I’m not bringing my cholesterol medicine! I’m on vacation!” (Bobby Cobb, Cougar Town.)) But near the Chinatown Food Market was a place called Well Dressed Salad Bar & Cafe (282 South Bridge Road) that had my favorite ever kind of menu: juices and smoothies, plus truly epic loaded salad bowls. The vegan items were labeled with the Vegan Society logo, and they had all kinds of veggies, fruits, and fun additions like ‘springy tofu’ and tofu feta. You could also get any item as a salad OR a wrap. MY HEAVEN.

I ordered the Manja Ninja mostly for its name. No, it also had all the things I wanted: mixed greens, shredded beets, quinoa, edamame, peaches, avocado, the tofu feta, purple cabbage and a mustard-wasabi dressing. YUM.

We also had great, refreshing fresh juices. 

Since all the healthy needs were being met, I also got an order of meaty skewers, called the Satay Party, you know because I love to party. Yes, in addition to all the juices and all the salads they also have a great hot food menu, including full vegan brunch, epic tofu egg sandwiches, shakshuka, soups, truffle mayo fries (!), and more. The skewers were made from grilled beancurd skin, served with cucumber, pineapple, and peanut sauce. So good! I wish I ate there a bunch so I could have tried more but we had such a long list. 

Next up was an all-vegan, HappyCow favorite, a fast food eatery called NomVNom (Clarke Quay for me, but I believe has several locations). Junk food isn’t usually my favorite (see above, too much talking about salads) but I do like trying the crazy vegan options every so often. And NomVNom didn’t feel that junky. Sure it’s burgers and fries but it didn’t leave me feeling gross. It was also super delicious! It’s in the basement food court area of Clarke Quay, and there’s plenty of NVN dedicated seating so you can all enjoy your amazing burger together and laugh at everyone who still thinks veganism is hard. 

I got the special Truffle Lion’s Mane burger and it was sooo good in like a creamy mayo chicken sandwich way, you know? It had a crispy lion’s mane mushroom patty, mushrooms on top, lettuce, and black pepper truffle mayo. I usually am a sweet potato fries person, at least over regular fries, but the menu was so extensive they had even more than those two to choose from! Pictured are my Jap Potato Fries, obviously ordered because of the name and obviously short for ‘Japanese’ but also, ya know, funny for JAP reasons. Yum! The whole menu looked incredible and I wish I could have tried everything. I mean look at these burgers! And don’t look at the weirdly crooked photo I took! 

Let’s take a brief food pause to marvel at the shopping on offer in Chinatown. I bought some of the plush doggo toys, and my baby nephew loves his, so that’s great, but I still am kicking myself for not buying this teacup below, ohhh my god. 

We’ve still got two amazing restaurants to talk about, two restaurants that were so great that I miss them like with my blood, like I feel it in my blood. First up is Whole Earth Vegetarian, the only vegetarian restaurant awarded the Michelin Bib Gourmand in 2016 and 2017, which I guess means this post is part of my #VeganMichelinSeries, whaaat. Turn! Of! Events! Whole Earth Vegetarian (76 Peck Seah Street), to none of our surprise by the way things in this post have been going, had a super extensive menu that was so hard to choose from, I think I took longer to order than I ever have ever ever. But I ordered SO WELL. First, we got their house specialty, the Enchanted Forest – monkeyhead mushrooms over broccoli. UGH IT WAS AMAZING.

We also got an incredible Thai rendang-inspired pile of DELICIOUS greens and spicy green beans with housemade tempeh, so this meal was basically all my favorite non-salad non-pretzels foods at once and it was MARVELOUS. 

Okay folks, we made it to the last big restaurant meal before I share special bonus food at the end. This restaurant is ALSO one of my favorites EVER. Didn’t I say the food in Singapore was insanely great?? It really was. We’re up to Lotus Kitchen (133 New Bridge Road), which was very close to our hotel so like we should have gone there all the time but we only had three days, remember??? Anyway, so Lotus Kitchen is a vegetarian restaurant in the heart of Chinatown, and perfectly represents Singaporean culture in its cuisine: Chinese, but influenced by the other cultures in Singapore. Fusiony, and so good. 

We had dumplings – OBVIOUSLY, because we are not stupid people – to start; plus like tofu skin roll up jawns filled with vegetables and just overall magic; broccoli because we needed more greens; and OF COURSE Singapore noodles because hellooo. The noodles were SO amazing and the sauce and SO creamy and SO spicy.

So, as you can see and because I am telling you so, vegan food in Singapore is superb. I would love to go back to all these places again and try all the other places on my long list that I didn’t have time for. THE BEST, THE END. 

Oh I almost forgot, here’s your bonus: a salad I forget all the details of – what, where, why. Well no we know why, I love salad. Byeeees.