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Veganizing “Friends”: Monica’s Kiwi Lime Pie

September 26, 2013
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     Ooh we’re finally making the famous kiwi lime pie! I know you kids are excited. As you will recall, in “The One With The Baby On The Bus”, Monica whipped up a lovely pie, and shared it with Chandler, Joey, and Ross. But after a few bites, Ross’s tongue started to swell up and he realized the delicious pie was trying to kill him: 

Ross: Unnhh, unnnh, unnnnnhh.

Joey: You okay, Ross?

Ross: I don’t know. Unhhhh. What’s in this pie?

Monica: Oh, I don’t know, butter and eggs and flour and lime and kiwi…

Ross: Kiwi? Kiwi?? You said it was a key lime pie.

Monica: No I didn’t, I said kiwi lime. That’s what makes it so special.

Ross: That’s what’s going to kill me. 

      Poor Ross! (Though his mangled final words are pretty damn hilarious.) So, we’re going to make kiwi lime pie! We’re going to use kiwi and lime and flour but of course not butter or eggs. Actually…we may not even use flour. It’s going to be as delicious as Monica’s but hopefully not as poisonous for any of you. Deal? 
      I’m going to start with a basic key lime pie, and then I’ll mix chopped fresh kiwi into the batter. Remember: If you are allergic to kiwi, leave it out. Don’t eat it. Relax. Don’t do it. 
      SPECULOOS COOKIE CRUST
I mean, of course I’m using speculoos cookies, but you can use any graham crackers for the crust. 
INGREDIENTS:

  • 7oz speculoos or graham cookies, processed into a powder
  • 5T vegan butter (I used half butter half coconut butter)
  • dash of almond milk

DIRECTIONS: 

  1. Mix the ingredients together with your fingers and press into a pie dish
  2. Bake at 375° for 15 minutes
  3. Let cool on countertop

                 KIWI LIME PIE
INGREDIENTS: 

  • 1C unsweetened almond milk
  • 4oz. MimicCreme (if you don’t have it, use more almond milk and then switch to full-fat coconut milk below)
  • 2T cornstarch
  • 2t agar powder
  • 1 can light coconut milk
  • 1/2C lime juice
  • 1/3C sugar
  • 5T agave or coconut nectar, or maple syrup
  • 1T coconut oil
  • 2t vanilla extract 
  • 1C fresh kiwi, chopped small (I used 3 kiwis)

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All our ingredients

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“It’s hard to believe that just a little while ago this was nothing but ingredients”
DIRECTIONS:

  1. Mix together the almond milk, MimicCreme, cornstarch, and agar in a saucepan
  2. Bring to a boil, and keep stirring for several minutes. It should get very thick
  3. After no more than 7 minutes, add the coconut milk, sugar, coconut oil, agave, lime juice, and vanilla
  4. Stir for about 10-15 minutes
  5. Remove saucepan from heat, and let cool and thicken for a bit, until it is not boiling hot
  6. Drop the kiwi into the saucepan, and stir through
  7. Pour into the pie dish, and refrigerate for several hours, or overnight
  8. It makes a lot of filling so if you have an extra large pie dish, it’s a good time to use it

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Told you it made a lot! Overflow! (Almost)
    This came out very nicely! It’s pretty delicious, and would be even better with whipped cream on top. Sadly, I don’t have any, but one day…one day. Enjoy! 

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Pac-Man Pie!!!! An homage to Chandler’s Ms. Pac-Man machine, perhaps?
Giveaway Trivia!!

  1. How does Ross get through the allergy shot? 
  2. In this episode’s main story, Chandler & Joey leave Ben on the bus (!!) and have to pick him up at Human Services. The two idiots have to decide between two similar-looking babies, wearing onesies featuring what designs? 
  3. In Phoebe’s storyline, she protests outside Central Perk for what reason?
  4. When Phoebe is playing outside, a stranger drops a condom in her guitar case. Who does that stranger turn out to be? 
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Delicious Baked Polenta, Two Glorious Ways!

December 30, 2014
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   I can never have enough polenta. Isn’t it the best? It’s so cheap, it’s super easy to play with, and it’s Italian. Most importantly, it’s insanely versatile. You can make it straight for a plain side dish, fry up ready-made pieces, use it for dessert, and bake it in a pan with a variety of interesting toppings. Like a pizza or flatbread!
    Recently, I went to London’s polenta-based restaurant called La Polentaria (review coming soon). I loved that polenta was front and center for all the dishes (obviously). I also loved that the walls had interesting information about polenta, like that it has more protein per serving than an egg! (So the wall said. I am not checking because I want that to be true.) Here are two recipes, one for a cheesy mushroom baked polenta casserole-sort-of thing, and one for classic polenta bruschetta. Both dishes would be great for entertaining company, although I prefer to hoard the entire casserole pan myself. 
     First, the bruschetta! Lots of bruschetta will use a raw tomato and garlic mixture, but that’s nothing special, really. If you want that, you can easily just chop up some tomatoes and mix with garlic and basil and olive oil. Easy peasy. But it’s winter so I wanted a warm cooked tomato topping. It really pays off to make your own and not use store-bought tomato sauce or any crap like that. I mean you could; you can put literally anything edible on top of hardened polenta and it would be delectable. But when it comes to sauce, this is the way to do it. 
POLENTA BRUSCHETTA
Remember: it’s a hard ‘k’ sound. None of this ‘shetta’ bullshit.
Ingredients:

  • 1 cup dry polenta/corn meal
  • 2 1/2 to 3 cups water
  • 1 tablespoon olive oil 
  • 4 cloves garlic, minced
  • 1 pint cherry or grape tomatoes
  • 1 cup loose fresh basil leaves (like a small bunch), and about 10 leaves reserved
  • 1/4 cup olive oil, halved
  • 2 teaspoons tomato paste
  • 1 teaspoon salt
  • 1/4 cup water
  • black pepper

Directions:

  1. First, make the polenta. In a saucepan, mix the polenta, 1T olive oil, and water and bring to a boil, stirring constantly. As soon as it starts bubbling, turn the heat to medium and stir constantly like really I mean it. Stir and cook until it starts to thicken, about 5 minutes. If it feels too thick, add more water. It should be thick but still pourable. 
  2. Pour the polenta into a casserole dish, about 6×6 or 8×4 or something medium sized. Set aside. 
  3. Now to make the bruschetta topping. In a saucepan over medium heat, saute half the olive oil and all the garlic for a few minutes. Add the salt.
  4. This is the fun part. Take your tomatoes and squeeze and tear and demolish them over the pan and drop them in. Just tear those little mofos apart into a few pieces each. Keep stirring.
  5. Add 1/4 cup of water. Mix and stir. 
  6. Add the tomato paste and the 1 cup of basil. You’ll probably need the rest of the olive oil here to prevent sticking. 
  7. Bring to a boil, then bring down to a simmer and cook for 15-20 minutes until reduced. If it reduces too fast/gets sticky, add more water and turn your heat down lower. 
  8. Good time to preheat your oven to 300F. 
  9. Your final product should not be sticky but it should be spreadable and thick. Add the 10 reserved fresh basil leaves and the black pepper and stir through. Check for salt. 
  10. Pour the tomato topping over the prepared polenta in the pan. Bake in the oven for 10-15 minutes. 
  11. Let sit for a good 10 minutes. The polenta should be hard and crispy on the edges, and you should be able to pick up squares with your hands. 
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hahaha this is the longest picture ever I love it
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I ran out of pictures
    Next up, we have a ridiculously addictive vegan-cheese topped mushroom casserole. I never buy vegan cheese like ever, but all this talk about the new Field Roast Chao slices over in Murka has made me quite envious. But apparently, the UK’s best vegan cheese, Violife, is just like the Chao stuff! So I bought it. And it is soooo gooooood. It asked me to be used over a homemade pizza but come on I can’t plan weeknight dinner long enough in advance to account for rising yeast dough. Ain’t nobody got time for that! So instead this is kind of like a polenta pizza! It even has my favorite pizza topping: mushrooms! I also threw on cannellini beans because I love beans. 

Cheesy Mushroom & White Bean Polenta Casserole
Ingredients:

  • 1 1/2 cups dry polenta/corn meal
  • 4 cups water
  • 1 1/2 teaspoons salt
  • 1 tablespoon olive oil 
  • black pepper
  • 1 pint mushrooms, sliced (about 2 cups loose)
  • 1/4 cup fresh parsley leaves
  • 1 tablespoon olive oil
  • 1 cup cannellini/white beans
  • 1/3 cup grated vegan cheese (I used Violife and I love it forever now)

Directions: 

  1. First, make the polenta. In a saucepan, mix the polenta, olive oil, and 3 cups of water and bring to a boil, stirring constantly. As soon as it starts bubbling, turn the heat to medium and stir constantly. Stir and cook until it starts to thicken, about 5 minutes. Add the 4th cup of water if it feels too thick. It should be pourable.
  2. Pour the polenta into a medium-sized casserole dish. It should be quite deep, because polenta in this casserole stays soft.
  3. Preheat your oven to 300F.
  4. Arrange your mushrooms evenly over the polenta. Spread the beans and the parsley as well.
  5. Now spread the grated cheese over the pan evenly. Add some freshly ground black pepper.
  6. Bake for 15-20 minutes. Let sit for 10.
  7. Enjoyyyy! 

Yellow Juice Bar in Center City, Philly

October 4, 2013
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PictureThis used to be my playground…

     It’s kind of ridiculous how much I love green juice. I’m probably the last person (/vegan blogger) who would tell people to eat something that doesn’t taste great just because it’s good for you. But guess what? Veggie juice, when done right, is AMAZING. It’s like my favorite thing after hummus and Ron Swanson. So how happy am I that a new juice place has opened in Philly?
    Philly has been screaming for more juice bars, at least in Center City. (At least in my head.) I needs my juice! And with more vendors creating more competition, the prices are getting much more affordable. I’m tired of spending upwards of $10 in the suburbs for a juice that I down in about 9 seconds. (I drink juice fast.) No juice should cost almost a dollar per second! Luckily, the new Yellow Juice Bar, right across from Helium Comedy Club at 2046 Sansom, is not only well-priced but delicious. 
     Upon entering, I was delighted to see that Yellow Juice Bar offers smoothies with protein add-ins, some vegan food options, and banana whips in addition to juice! Also, adorably, they call the banana whips Banana Twirls. It’s like ballet dancing for fruit.
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The wraps are only $6! Hooray for not-NYC!
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I love chalkboard menus
     Before getting to the important stuff (what I ordered and how it tasted), can we just take a moment to appreciate those prices? Yes, it’s still a lot of money for a drink, but not compared to what other juice bars charge for the same if not inferior products. $6 for the biggest size is good in my book for a place in Center City. I do wish they had a 24oz. size, though. 
     Usually my juice tastes veer towards veg-heavy and fruit-light, so I ordered the 16oz. Green Day juice: spinach, cucumber, celery, kale. With no apple in it to balance all the green, I asked the guy if he’d add some ginger so, because I love ginger. He added a bit of lemon and ginger, and had me try it before declaring it finished. I don’t know why, but when he said, “Do you want me to add more ginger?”, I said yes. Oops! It was pretty spicy, but it wasn’t overpowering and I still tasted mostly green. Pretty nice! 
     I also ordered a shot of wheatgrass. At $3, it’s on the more expensive end of what wheatgrass shots should cost, but this could have been the best shot I’ve had of the stuff. It was really sweet and had no aftertaste, which in itself is worth an extra dollar. So good. And, it comes with a frozen orange bite, which I adore. I can’t abide places that don’t give a piece of orange with their wheatgrass. 
     I was nearly awash with juice, but then the two guys working behind the counter offered me a shot of ginger. I stood by the counter and the three of us clinked our little shot glasses and downed a fresh ounce of pure ginger. Umm, have you ever had just pure ginger juice before? It is ROUGH. I mean, I loved it, but it is rough! My insides were on fire for a good 3 hours. Hot damn! You have to try this! It was so nice of them to offer me some after I made my love of ginger known. There were a few other patrons watching as my face and body went through convulsions for a good minute, so that was a little embarrassing, but then I felt kind of amazing. So much juice! 
     I’m definitely going to frequent Yellow Juice Bar, and I’m eager to try the smoothies, the food, and of course the dancing yellow fruits. Did I mention that they have a bathroom? And it’s pretty clean? Another point! And they deliver! If you’re into that sort of thing.
    The only thing I really dislike about this place is that it opened now, after I’ve moved out of the building literally a block away. Other than its bad timing, it’s pretty great. I’ll be going here often! Hopefully they will institute some punch cards for frequent customers, because I love me some punch cards. Almost as much as I love green juice. (No, not nearly as much as I love green juice.)
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