January 19, 2023
Anything ANYthing ANYTHING GOOOOES at the Barbican is Pure Silly Joyby Randi / October 19, 2021It’s Theatre Thursday! Today’s show is Tokyo Rose, a new musical that played the Southwark Playhouse until October 16.
A new musical about a true story out of World War II recently played the Southwark…and I’m not talking about Operation Mincemeat! Seriously, if this is the new direction that Southwark Playhouse is going in, I’m not complaining. What a fun niche to specialize in! Today’s actual show, Tokyo Rose, has been making the lower rounds in the past few years and after some edits and extensions, it has hit London. It has promise and potential, but it needs further work to capitalize on that.
Tokyo Rose tells the story of Iva Toguri, the Japanese-American who became a wartime radio personality in Japan and was accused, convicted, and later pardoned of treason for possibly sharing Axis propaganda. Above all, Iva was an American-born young girl whose parents send her to Japan IN THE MIDDLE OF A GOTTAM WAR because her aunt is dying and her mom wants someone to be there with her sister, even though auntie and Iva never met ever and did I say it’s the middle of a GOTTAM WAR? Iva’s mother couldn’t go ostensibly for documentation reasons and that’s very sad but like how unbelievably stupid do you have to be to send your Japanese daughter to Japan IN THE MIDDLE OF A WAR? (Also, I did further research and apparently Iva didn’t have a US passport either when she left…um…oh gosh. Maybe the mother just thought since Iva was a citizen she wouldn’t have any trouble? JE. SUS.) True Japan wasn’t yet in the war against America (that would come mere months after Iva’s arrival overseas) but for crying out loud it was already at war with China and Manchuria and Inner Mongolia and French Indochina and MORE and had already signed up with Germany and Italy by this time! I MEAN WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING?
This makes it hard for me to believe that this family could really be this ignorant of what her trip would mean. But the musical does not portray her story as though there is any grey area around Iva’s intentions, or her alleged traitorous behavior as something for us to determine for ourselves. Instead, this show is firmly and unshakeably putting forth that she was the victim of horrible injustice with endless bad luck. And it’s probably true, that it was just a series of unfortunate events and bad decisions that led her to being found guilty of treason against the USA, but man, those are some REALLY bad decisions.
The musical tells of how Iva was just an adorable little college student ready to study medicine and become just the cutest little doctor you’ve ever seen, but then the parents make their horrible decision and off she goes to begin a life of injustice and survival. The book is pretty well constructed: It begins with her treason trial and tells the story of her life through flashbacks, coming back and forth to the trial along the way. (We have enough to talk about so I am not going to rail against the creators for not being legal experts in the portrayal of the trial, but can I just mention that the trial occurred in San Francisco, so not everyone needs to have southern accents.) Although I have one huge recommendation re the trial: At one point late in Act II, the judge says ‘we will now take a 20 minute recess.’ MY GOD, how did the people involved not make that line the interval break! I MEAN COME ON YOU DON’T NEED TO BE A DRAMATURG FOR THAT ONE! Would be absolutely hysterical.
Also — the whole part of her being on the radio in Japan – you know, like the main thing she’s known for – is very confusingly done. It wasn’t clear what was happening and what if anything was going to come back to bite her, so if you didn’t know the facts coming in I imagine you’d be lost. Especially since her big ‘ooh I’m broadcasting to soldiers’ moments were loud club numbers that didn’t tell story.
And so where the show needs to focus its revisions is mainly on the score. This score makes this show effectively the shrieking Olympics. Maya Britto as Iva can sing her heart out, but wow, she shouldn’t have to destroy her voice. People complain about how badly Wicked ruins voices but all these new British scores trying to be like Six are way too heavily reliant on belting, and oftentimes it’s just shrieking. And this is very clearly trying to be like Six and & Juliet and too many more. Anyone training in classical musical theatre nowadays would not be able to do this stuff long-term. But even more frustrating, the existing score is a lost opportunity for an original original score. This shit is taking place in the 1940s, and instead of amazing Big Band numbers and a take on the Andrews Sisters, we get dance club and flashing lights. I get that the whole ‘historical tale with modern music’ is a genre now but at this point in this genre’s hopefully not-too-long shelf life, it just feels tired.
And unfortunately, the lyrics don’t do the same-sounding songs any justice. The lyrics are primarily generic platitudes, repeated over and over, like greeting card messages. It’s a bit cringey too often. I think it full out needs a new score, maybe minus 2 songs (like Iva’s big 11 o’clock number, that was fairly strong.)
One more thing I found a little eek-face is that, in the last section, they kept repeating how Iva could be the first person ever pardoned after a conviction for treason, and framing it like it was this huge moment for justice to finally be done. But, guys, her situation was very specific. Hers was a huge injustice, but they said it like everyone’s was, like it was always a criminal charge that shouldn’t exist? But everyone else convicted of treason deserved it. It was a weird thing to harp on as though treason were an unfair thing to be accused of, you know?
Honestly this show has a lot of potential because the story it tells is interesting. I hope it works on the telling and gets to do it again.
INFORMATION
Yes we are incredibly behind schedule, sorry that this already closed but hopefully my opinions can guide revisions (lol fat chance).
It was almost exactly 2 hours 30 minutes, beginning at 7:30 and ending at 10:06. It’s felt a little too long.
Southwark, like every other London theatre, does the whole ‘we recommend you wear masks but we can’t make you’ farce and so most people were not wearing masks. (Luckily the people behind us were.) Aside from that, the audience was…pretty bad! Lots of phones and talking and, our favorite part, during Iva’s big climactic moment, there was an important silence and this asshole near the front decided to OPEN A CAN OF SODA during that moment. I just. what are people. burn it all down.
PIZZA
SOUTHWARK PLAYHOUSE HAS A PIZZA OVEN NOW. And they have vegan options (not just one!). And it was really good! They said they use Sheese cheese, which no one has used in years since Violife etc came on the market and honestly I am really happy with that decision. It’s much better than I remember and no one else is using it so it’s a strong choice. We are seriously going to have pizza there before every show. Could not be more excited for a theatrical development (except for mask mandates).
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“Big Fish” in London: New & Improved Production of an Okay Musical
It’s Theatre Thursday y’all! Today we are talking about the new production of “Big Fish” at London’s The Other Palace, which is playing until December 31.
“Big Fish”, directed by Tim Burton and starring some faves of mine (Ewan McGregor, Albert Finney, Marion Cotillard, Danny DeVito (go back and watch it’s true)), was a great movie that screamed out to me for an amazing big spectacular Broadway musical. That story would be perfect for one, right? It would be hard to match the magic of the movie but I had faith that it could because theatre is the best. Unfortunately, the Broadway bow it got in 2013 wasn’t very good. It was hugely fun and entertaining and I enjoyed it, but not as good as it should have been with that source material. The book was messy and Andrew Lippa’s score was mostly unmemorable. After a few years and a lot of retooling, ‘Big Fish’ is back, now in London, new and improved. I think. I’m still not sure.
“Big Fish”, directed by Tim Burton and starring some faves of mine (Ewan McGregor, Albert Finney, Marion Cotillard, Danny DeVito (go back and watch it’s true)), was a great movie that screamed out to me for an amazing big spectacular Broadway musical. That story would be perfect for one, right? It would be hard to match the magic of the movie but I had faith that it could because theatre is the best. Unfortunately, the Broadway bow it got in 2013 wasn’t very good. It was hugely fun and entertaining and I enjoyed it, but not as good as it should have been with that source material. The book was messy and Andrew Lippa’s score was mostly unmemorable. After a few years and a lot of retooling, ‘Big Fish’ is back, now in London, new and improved. I think. I’m still not sure.
When The Other Palace in London announced that it would do a revised version of the musical, I didn’t have high hopes like I naively did for the Broadway production, since London is consistently less ‘spectacular’ with musicals than Broadway. There’s just an inherent spark and magic that is often missing. I was right – there was no way this small theatre was going to beat Broadway in terms of magic and spectacle. However, the revisions may have worked better on the whole. It’s not as much fun and it’s not as grand, but it’s moving in a more subdued nature that packs more of an emotional punch.
My eagerness to love the show back in 2013 may have been responsible for some of my enjoyment back then. It starred my favorite musical theatre actor, Norbert Leo Butz, so I was working as hard as I could while sitting in a seat in the dark to love it, and no one should have to work that hard to love a show. It was joyous but inconsistently, flawed and kind of flat a lot of the time. The music felt mostly uninspired, but a few songs were stellar. The book was a bit messy, but had enough good feeling and intention for the movie’s amazing story to make it okay. But most of all, Norbert put everything he had into his performance, so much energy and love and emotion, that that’s what you remembered and loved about the show. Norbert is so amazing, he blinds you from noticing anything lackluster or actually bad. So when the London revival/rehashing this fall announced that it would star Kelsey Grammer, I was extremely skeptical. How on earth could old Republican buffoon Kelsey Grammer do what Norbert in all his energy and youth did? How is he going to distract us from noticing that the show doesn’t live up to its potential and is kind of flat? Answer: He doesn’t – because the show is entirely redone and suits him better. John August, who wrote the movie and the book of the musical, clearly has been working hard on this. I missed Norbert’s energy (and voice) the whole time, but I think mayyyyybeeee it makes more sense this way. It’s not as much fun, and it’s a smaller, more delicately emotional show, but I think – I’m pretty sure – it’s hard to say because Norbert – that it’s a smarter, better done show now.
I knew to expect changes with this production, but I thought maybe it would be a few lines here or there, maybe new and better songs. But I almost gasped when the very first song of the show was “Fight the Dragons”, in which Edward Bloom (Grammer) sings to his young son about why he lives such a fantastic fantasy life. I remembered this one because it’s the best song from the show and I listen to it regularly. So I remembered that on Broadway it came in the middle of the show. In this new version, it OPENS the show! I realized then just how different this was going to be, and I was shocked and scared and I wanted to break my #1 rule and TALK TO PEOPLE ABOUT IT but mostly I was intrigued. The new framing device was quickly evident: Instead of jumping back and forth between present day and past, showing Edward as a yoot as he embarks on all the fake-sounding adventures he tells his son about and having the same actor (Norbert) jump from old man to young teenager and in between Edward (he’s amazing) and do everything he could to sell it to you that he could be all these ages, Kelsey’s Edward just was the old man version. In his old, dying state, he shared his memories with the dream-ghost young version of his now-grown son, Will. So Kelsey would be like ‘oh hey little ghost boy version of my Will who now hates me, remember when I met that witch’ and then ANOTHER ACTOR played young Edward and met the witch and stuff. I know, serious changes, guys. But it is so much better because no one is going to believe Kelsey as an 18-year-old with a sparkle in his eye. His sparkle died long ago.
Despite my reluctance to admit that it worked to have a different actor play young Edward (or ‘Story Edward’ as they’re calling it), it was hard to stay mad at you bro because Story Edward was maybe the best performer on the stage. Jamie Muscato, who was great a few years ago in ‘Dogfight’ here at Southwark Playhouse (still one of the best productions of the hundos I’ve seen in London), sings wonderfully and charms as the young version of Edward, saving Kelsey from having to get up from his hospital bed. I was so worried that we’d have to listen to Kelsey’s passable but not fantastic singing voice for most of the score. Having people who could actually sing musically theatrey play important roles was a huge relief. I sound mean to Kelsey but he knows he is an actor who sings, not a singer who acts.
This same device of course was used for Sandra, Edward’s wife, as Edward’s courtship of her constitutes a big chunk of the flashback/memory/story plot. Present day Sandra was played by Clare Burt, who was nice and fine, and Story Sandra was the spunky ginger Laura Baldwin, who looked like she grew up taking musical theatre classes, very textbook proficiency and skill. Good job ginger spice. You’d think this would mean Laura got to shine with big songs and stuff, but for some reason they gave the slowest most boringest most unnecessary song to Old Sandra, and it was bo-rang. Sorry Clare. You’re good and stuff this just should have been cut. The relationship between Edward and Sandra as oldies is believable because we see their backstory, so the attempt to shore up their current feelings instead of showing us more of what their love is based on failed for me dawg.
The weirdest thing that worked for me in this production was that Josephine, grown-up Will’s fiancé who I think had one line in the original production and could have easily been cut, was my favorite. I think it was really because the actress, Frances McNamee (omg that is so the last name you give when you want to give a fake name and can’t think of shit), was so wonderful and made a fully realized character with what little she is given. I so bought every single one of her reactions and facial expressions. She clearly deserves much bigger and better parts and I would totally go see a show if I knew she was in it. It was like obviously good acting which is very exciting to see every so often instead of like ‘oh hey look I’m in a play’ acting. You don’t know what I mean.
As grown-up Will, Matthew Seadon-Young was pretty decent. It’s kind of a thankless role because you’re like, hey dude your dad seems really FUN and yeah he wasn’t really there for you growing up but like, he has good stories and your mom did a good job so like take a chill pill. And then he finds out how good a person his dad was, just to other people, and you’re like see I told you you should have taken that stick out of your bum. I said bum! Hashtag so british. Anyway so it’s a little thankless but he did a good job making us feel for his predicament (wanting to still resent his absent father even though he’s dying) despite our instinct to shout ‘just be niceeeee he hella old.’ And Kelsey is so winning and likable and such a good actor that it made it hard to agree with Will that he sucked.
So the family relationships and characters were pretty well done, which is why this production felt more based in emotion and not in the fun spectacle aspect of the movie. Both are important sides of the story to tell, and while Broadway sold the spectacle amazingly and some of the emotion, this production sold the family story and emotion and less so the spectacle. The spectacle, of course, being the crazy characters of Edward’s stories, the ones we don’t know whether to believe he actually knew. The giant, the witch, the mermaid, all the people in the circus he worked in. This is a difficult balance to achieve with this show, and I think that’s why no production has been able to really achieve it properly. Broadway leaned too heavily to one side; this one tried to make up for that but ended up overcompensating on the other side. The actors were all good – Landi Oshinowo (almost my name!) as the witch has a kickass voice erma erma, and Dean Nolan as the giant Karl was solid – but in the small space with no effects there’s really only so much you can leave to the imagination. And so the pendulum swung to the side of focusing on the family dynamics and stuck there. They made up for this in very clever ways, like having the witch’s costume and her forest made from hospital supplies – because that’s where Edward is recounting her tale – and I loved that, but it didn’t lead to that same level of impressive drama that you want. This was hardest for me in my favorite part from the Broadway show – when Norbert I mean Edward sings “Daffodils” as he proposes to Sandra. On Broadway, thousands of daffodils ‘grew’ from the stage and all around and it was pure magic. I remember gasping. Here, that couldn’t happen, and they made up for it by having lots of deliveries of daffodils to Edward’s hospital room happening. So, again, it was a clever choice and made it sweet, but I can’t say I didn’t miss the thrill of all those flowers growing out of a stage.
Honestly the best part of the show is Forbes Masson, and not just because of that name. He played a few comedic roles, first as Don, Edward’s high school nemesis and a blithering idiot who in a movie (a different movie) would be played by Randy Quaid, and then as Amos, the leader of the circus where young Edward works. He was flipping hilarious and it’s worth seeing the show just to laugh at his dumb jokes. The circus parts were more enjoyable because he was so ridiculously fun and honestly I will hold ‘The Greatest Showman’ and Hugh Jackman to a higher standard because of it.
A few things fell seriously flat. First of all, there was no mermaid. Edward makes a big deal about how he once met a mermaid, and they cut that scene. Sure he sees a girl in the hospital in a wheelchair and sees a flash of a mermaid tail on her, but if you blinked you missed it, and that doesn’t count. The other thing was that one of the ensemble girls playing one of his high school classmates held a box with a weird cat on it in all her scenes. In the programme she’s listed I shit you not as ‘girl with cat’. There is no reason for this. This was just a dumb sight gag that no one even realized was supposed to be funny, and I feel bad for the girl holding that dumb box. Whoever came to work the day that decision was approved was flying high like Mindy St. Claire.
But those are really the only bad things I can point to. The creators clearly worked really hard to improve this show, and although apparently this show requires a choice between family-based emotion and story-based spectacle, I think they made the right choice while still telling a complete tale. So overall, it was a lovely night at the theatre. Everyone in the audience seemed to be rooting for the show to succeed, and there was a bit of bawling at the end and not just on my part. However, this might be the one time where a piece is better on film than in the theatre. I know I can’t believe I said it but it has happened, and despite multiple attempts, the show really can’t match the movie. It’s a great time in the theatre, it really is, and it’s an enjoyable show and I recommend that you see it if you can, but the film is just better.
My eagerness to love the show back in 2013 may have been responsible for some of my enjoyment back then. It starred my favorite musical theatre actor, Norbert Leo Butz, so I was working as hard as I could while sitting in a seat in the dark to love it, and no one should have to work that hard to love a show. It was joyous but inconsistently, flawed and kind of flat a lot of the time. The music felt mostly uninspired, but a few songs were stellar. The book was a bit messy, but had enough good feeling and intention for the movie’s amazing story to make it okay. But most of all, Norbert put everything he had into his performance, so much energy and love and emotion, that that’s what you remembered and loved about the show. Norbert is so amazing, he blinds you from noticing anything lackluster or actually bad. So when the London revival/rehashing this fall announced that it would star Kelsey Grammer, I was extremely skeptical. How on earth could old Republican buffoon Kelsey Grammer do what Norbert in all his energy and youth did? How is he going to distract us from noticing that the show doesn’t live up to its potential and is kind of flat? Answer: He doesn’t – because the show is entirely redone and suits him better. John August, who wrote the movie and the book of the musical, clearly has been working hard on this. I missed Norbert’s energy (and voice) the whole time, but I think mayyyyybeeee it makes more sense this way. It’s not as much fun, and it’s a smaller, more delicately emotional show, but I think – I’m pretty sure – it’s hard to say because Norbert – that it’s a smarter, better done show now.
I knew to expect changes with this production, but I thought maybe it would be a few lines here or there, maybe new and better songs. But I almost gasped when the very first song of the show was “Fight the Dragons”, in which Edward Bloom (Grammer) sings to his young son about why he lives such a fantastic fantasy life. I remembered this one because it’s the best song from the show and I listen to it regularly. So I remembered that on Broadway it came in the middle of the show. In this new version, it OPENS the show! I realized then just how different this was going to be, and I was shocked and scared and I wanted to break my #1 rule and TALK TO PEOPLE ABOUT IT but mostly I was intrigued. The new framing device was quickly evident: Instead of jumping back and forth between present day and past, showing Edward as a yoot as he embarks on all the fake-sounding adventures he tells his son about and having the same actor (Norbert) jump from old man to young teenager and in between Edward (he’s amazing) and do everything he could to sell it to you that he could be all these ages, Kelsey’s Edward just was the old man version. In his old, dying state, he shared his memories with the dream-ghost young version of his now-grown son, Will. So Kelsey would be like ‘oh hey little ghost boy version of my Will who now hates me, remember when I met that witch’ and then ANOTHER ACTOR played young Edward and met the witch and stuff. I know, serious changes, guys. But it is so much better because no one is going to believe Kelsey as an 18-year-old with a sparkle in his eye. His sparkle died long ago.
Despite my reluctance to admit that it worked to have a different actor play young Edward (or ‘Story Edward’ as they’re calling it), it was hard to stay mad at you bro because Story Edward was maybe the best performer on the stage. Jamie Muscato, who was great a few years ago in ‘Dogfight’ here at Southwark Playhouse (still one of the best productions of the hundos I’ve seen in London), sings wonderfully and charms as the young version of Edward, saving Kelsey from having to get up from his hospital bed. I was so worried that we’d have to listen to Kelsey’s passable but not fantastic singing voice for most of the score. Having people who could actually sing musically theatrey play important roles was a huge relief. I sound mean to Kelsey but he knows he is an actor who sings, not a singer who acts.
This same device of course was used for Sandra, Edward’s wife, as Edward’s courtship of her constitutes a big chunk of the flashback/memory/story plot. Present day Sandra was played by Clare Burt, who was nice and fine, and Story Sandra was the spunky ginger Laura Baldwin, who looked like she grew up taking musical theatre classes, very textbook proficiency and skill. Good job ginger spice. You’d think this would mean Laura got to shine with big songs and stuff, but for some reason they gave the slowest most boringest most unnecessary song to Old Sandra, and it was bo-rang. Sorry Clare. You’re good and stuff this just should have been cut. The relationship between Edward and Sandra as oldies is believable because we see their backstory, so the attempt to shore up their current feelings instead of showing us more of what their love is based on failed for me dawg.
The weirdest thing that worked for me in this production was that Josephine, grown-up Will’s fiancé who I think had one line in the original production and could have easily been cut, was my favorite. I think it was really because the actress, Frances McNamee (omg that is so the last name you give when you want to give a fake name and can’t think of shit), was so wonderful and made a fully realized character with what little she is given. I so bought every single one of her reactions and facial expressions. She clearly deserves much bigger and better parts and I would totally go see a show if I knew she was in it. It was like obviously good acting which is very exciting to see every so often instead of like ‘oh hey look I’m in a play’ acting. You don’t know what I mean.
As grown-up Will, Matthew Seadon-Young was pretty decent. It’s kind of a thankless role because you’re like, hey dude your dad seems really FUN and yeah he wasn’t really there for you growing up but like, he has good stories and your mom did a good job so like take a chill pill. And then he finds out how good a person his dad was, just to other people, and you’re like see I told you you should have taken that stick out of your bum. I said bum! Hashtag so british. Anyway so it’s a little thankless but he did a good job making us feel for his predicament (wanting to still resent his absent father even though he’s dying) despite our instinct to shout ‘just be niceeeee he hella old.’ And Kelsey is so winning and likable and such a good actor that it made it hard to agree with Will that he sucked.
So the family relationships and characters were pretty well done, which is why this production felt more based in emotion and not in the fun spectacle aspect of the movie. Both are important sides of the story to tell, and while Broadway sold the spectacle amazingly and some of the emotion, this production sold the family story and emotion and less so the spectacle. The spectacle, of course, being the crazy characters of Edward’s stories, the ones we don’t know whether to believe he actually knew. The giant, the witch, the mermaid, all the people in the circus he worked in. This is a difficult balance to achieve with this show, and I think that’s why no production has been able to really achieve it properly. Broadway leaned too heavily to one side; this one tried to make up for that but ended up overcompensating on the other side. The actors were all good – Landi Oshinowo (almost my name!) as the witch has a kickass voice erma erma, and Dean Nolan as the giant Karl was solid – but in the small space with no effects there’s really only so much you can leave to the imagination. And so the pendulum swung to the side of focusing on the family dynamics and stuck there. They made up for this in very clever ways, like having the witch’s costume and her forest made from hospital supplies – because that’s where Edward is recounting her tale – and I loved that, but it didn’t lead to that same level of impressive drama that you want. This was hardest for me in my favorite part from the Broadway show – when Norbert I mean Edward sings “Daffodils” as he proposes to Sandra. On Broadway, thousands of daffodils ‘grew’ from the stage and all around and it was pure magic. I remember gasping. Here, that couldn’t happen, and they made up for it by having lots of deliveries of daffodils to Edward’s hospital room happening. So, again, it was a clever choice and made it sweet, but I can’t say I didn’t miss the thrill of all those flowers growing out of a stage.
Honestly the best part of the show is Forbes Masson, and not just because of that name. He played a few comedic roles, first as Don, Edward’s high school nemesis and a blithering idiot who in a movie (a different movie) would be played by Randy Quaid, and then as Amos, the leader of the circus where young Edward works. He was flipping hilarious and it’s worth seeing the show just to laugh at his dumb jokes. The circus parts were more enjoyable because he was so ridiculously fun and honestly I will hold ‘The Greatest Showman’ and Hugh Jackman to a higher standard because of it.
A few things fell seriously flat. First of all, there was no mermaid. Edward makes a big deal about how he once met a mermaid, and they cut that scene. Sure he sees a girl in the hospital in a wheelchair and sees a flash of a mermaid tail on her, but if you blinked you missed it, and that doesn’t count. The other thing was that one of the ensemble girls playing one of his high school classmates held a box with a weird cat on it in all her scenes. In the programme she’s listed I shit you not as ‘girl with cat’. There is no reason for this. This was just a dumb sight gag that no one even realized was supposed to be funny, and I feel bad for the girl holding that dumb box. Whoever came to work the day that decision was approved was flying high like Mindy St. Claire.
But those are really the only bad things I can point to. The creators clearly worked really hard to improve this show, and although apparently this show requires a choice between family-based emotion and story-based spectacle, I think they made the right choice while still telling a complete tale. So overall, it was a lovely night at the theatre. Everyone in the audience seemed to be rooting for the show to succeed, and there was a bit of bawling at the end and not just on my part. However, this might be the one time where a piece is better on film than in the theatre. I know I can’t believe I said it but it has happened, and despite multiple attempts, the show really can’t match the movie. It’s a great time in the theatre, it really is, and it’s an enjoyable show and I recommend that you see it if you can, but the film is just better.
INFORMATION
The Other Palace, having been remodeled and rebranded by Sir Andrew Lloyd Webber, looks mostly the same except for one very important change – the backstage bathrooms are now actually signed so people sitting in the front section know about them. It’s cool to go through this hallway where the racks of costumes are stationed but even cooler to have a human-sized bathroom with no lines! Watch for the ice cream seller at intermission though who for some reason has to position his cart right in front of that door to the hallway eye roll eye roll eye roll.
STAGE DOOR
At this theatre, the actors just come out through the lobby so yay you can wait inside! It’s a little awkward because without fail, every time I’ve seen a show here, the actor’s friends or family members are waiting with you and you’re like oh I just want to be weird, sorry. But they’re usually all nice and everyone was happy to sign or take pictures. Kelsey did not come out though, which is dumb not because I care but because the staff made everyone waiting make a single file line for him, and I was like ‘but I just want the others’ and they were like ‘tough’ and then he didn’t even come out and we were in a line for no reason.
Tony Awards Nostalgia
Frens, as you know, the 2020 Tony Awards were supposed to be last night. Instead of this post-Tony Monday bringing you a list of my favorite moments, the best speeches, the performances that weren’t medleys (huzzah), the worst losses, and so on, I’m sharing some superlatives from Tony Awards past. All I have been doing* during quarantine, honestly, is watching old recordings of Tony broadcasts. I’ve watched like 40 years’ worth. You might be thinking that’s a weird preoccupation or even a waste of time but if you would say something that unbelievably stupid I bet you wouldn’t be reading this. Also old Tony broadcasts are the bee’s knees.
* well at least while cooking dinner, which honestly adds up for me time-wise because no matter what your 30-minute recipe! bullshit is about it will take me those 30 minutes just to chop my onions so back off
Before I get to the ridiculous categories I chose to honor, I have to mention how much the Tony Awards have changed even just since I’ve been alive. Watching old ones has been enlightening. First of all, in like the ’80s, they literally NEVER cut off long speeches! They were like you just won a Tony? Amazing job! Thank everyone you want this is important shit! You wanna pause when it seems like you’re finished but then keep going? That’s wonderful dear! I wish they were still like that. I despise cutting people off who just had their life’s work recognized. (Unless they’re reading their speech. No matter what else has changed – and everything has – prewritten speeches that winners reeeead off paperrr are THE WORRRST.) Ugh and it’s awful when the producers not only bring up the orchestra but also cut the mic. That’s just cruel, because a) it prevents any amazing Bette-style complete ignoring of the music where the winner continues to yell over it for just ever (which is usually soo fun) like ‘are you kidding me get OUT of here with that nonsense’ I adore that, and b) winners always, always save thanking their families for last. (Which is its own bullshit. Thank your fam bam before Scott Rudin you moron. If I ever won a Tony I would grab the mic and scream at the top of my lungs THANKS MOM WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING THIS IS AMAAAZING I DIDN’T KNOW YOU COULD WIN TONYS FOR PETTING DOGS!!!)
Also, the Best Revival categories were mixed! Plays and musicals together like the Wild West. I guess it makes sense, though; there were fewer properties to choose from back then.
Once you hit the 2000s, the award show gets obviously bigger, louder, more raucous. (Change approved.) In part thanks to Neil Patrick Harris and Hugh Jackman’s hosting abilities (how lucky we are to be alive for the 2013 opener), in part just due to times changing and people wanting more, it’s quite the contrast to watch the modern Tonys with jaw-dropping 10-minute musical number intros after you’ve seen the 1991 Tony Awards hosted by I shit you not Julie Andrews and Jeremy’s Iron, who began the show in fancy British accents and were like “Hello and welcome to the 45th Annual TOE-ny awaaaahds. What a time to celebrate being a pahht of the theatuhhhhh. Here’s the first awaaahd” and like that’s it. So calm. Adorable.
As for future Tony Awards, I hope we have them. All thanks to CBS for airing them at all (you better keep it up), but I hope in the future they realize who they’re for. They’re never going to attract new uninterested viewers, so just stop trying. Stop getting random movie stars to present awards and then billing their presence in all the commercials. Like, no non-theatre but pro-Marvel fan is going to tune in just to see one of the Chrises present Best Choreography. Have they not realized this yet? In the ’80s, all the presenters were stage luminaries and it was exciting to celebrate them in this, their one arena for that kind of acknowledgment. Let the Tonys be for actual theatre fans. Let the telecast go on as long as you can give them, and let theatre people be involved, no matter how famous they are. And have plays perform short scene! They used to do this and it WORKED! It was great! And present Book of a Musical as part of the live telecast and not just when you think Tina Fey is going to win! (Although that surprise was one of my absolute favorite things about the last decade, when the producers did decide to air Best Book on the telecast just because they thought Tina would win and then she lost to Itamar Moses omg it was so funny.)
On that note, let’s share some other memories. Some of the videos below are just the entire telecast recording so just like enjoy.
Most Fun Performance for Posterity
There’s no question about this one. What can I watch no matter how I’m feeling and just laugh my ass off? Patti LuPone singing Buenos Aires at the 1981 Tony Awards. Why? Oh my dear, because of these (fake but come on, real.) subtitles. Sure there are 100s of incredible, perfect, soaring performances I could actually have chosen for ‘best performance’, but nothing compares to this gem.
My god I just watched literally 15 seconds of this and I am screaming and shrieking from laughter. EBBA DO ME!
Best Treat that Might be Cooler than the Tony Award You Just Won
Ten years after Patti sang about the laddad rat hat, Baby Daisy Eagen won the Best Featured Actress in a Musical Tony forThe Secret Garden. Baby Daisy was only 11 years old! Obviously she was crying and overwhelmed, and presenter Audrey Hepburn came back over to her and kissed her head. It’s the sweetest little moment but I imagine it didn’t help her outsized emotions to realize that Audrey Hepburn just kissed her head. LOVES IT.
Biggest “We Should Have Known“
In 2009, Susan Sarandon presented both Best Director awards (for play and musical). We should have known she was about to come out as a piece of a nothing when, despite reading a teleprompter and you know being a professional word-sayer, she said Matthew Warchus’s name wrong like 3 times. When she announced his win it came out something like Tathy Martis. SHAME. SHAAAAME. Almost as much as the shame you should feel for being so g-d stupid about politics. Nothing bother me more for the purposes of this sentence than when people say ‘actors should stay out of politics’ – that’s just nonsense, everyone affected should have a say – but when it comes to Susan actors should stay out of politics.
Biggest “We Really Didn’t Need That But Thanks?”
In 2014, Emmy Rossum introduced the performance from Best Revival nominee Les Miserables because I guess one of the telecast producers mixed up two classics. She introduced the performance by unironically, completely sincerely describing the plot of Les Mis as if it were this new thing no one knew about, as if every fucker in that audience and at home didn’t know every single word of that show by heart since they were children. Lol I was HYSTERICAL.
Cutest Outdated Joke
In 1986, Rupert Holmes won Best Score (for Drood) and then 10 seconds later won Best Book of a Musical. In his second speech in two minutes, he quipped “Wow I hope my home VHS recording is working.” Man remember not having technology, woof. Anyway it was adorbs, and watching someone win Tonys back to back made my heart grow even bigger, another reason why they should air Best Book on the live show.
Best Slogan for Life Learned from a Speech
In 2005, the great Mike Nichols (RIP) won for directing Spamalot and in his speech he said to the losers, “Cheer up, life isn’t everything.”
Worst Change for Tony Performance But a Cute Little Coincidence Makes it Okay
One of my favorite productions ever was the 2005 The Light in the Piazza, introducing me to that gorgeous, soul-buoying score and to my queen Kelli O’Hara. But their Tony performance, hoo boy. For some reason, instead of just singing the beautiful opening song, they had Victoria Clark in character be like, ‘Hello, I’m Margaret Johnson, and this is my daughter Clara. It’s her first time in Italy!’ ahhh it was beyond cringe. But soon afterwards, Norbert Leo Butz won the Best Actor in a Musical Tony (for Dirty Rotten Scoundrels) and in his speech he thanked his daughters Clara and Maggie – the names of the LITP characters! Cute!
Best Host Sentiment Continuity Decades Apart
In 1987, host/ledge Angela Lansbury talked in her opening monologue about how during an early pre-Broadway tryout (in Philly!), she was thinking about how she didn’t belong there and how she wanted to be home in California. Later in her career, in another leading performance on a Broadway stage, she realized that she was home. She said from everyone tonight who is coming home to Broadway to celebrate, welcome to the Tonys. It felt very much like the precursor to what would be the best opening of all time – Neil Patrick Harris’s 2013 song, in which he said, to the kid in the middle of nowhere, “So we might reassure that kid, and do something to spur that kid, ‘cause I promise you, all of us up here tonight, we were that kid.”
Best Sixth Win
My other queen Audra McDonald winning her sixth Tony Award, for Best Actress in a Play for Lady Day at Emerson’s Bar & Grill, expressed more gratitude and humble appreciation and overwhelmed joy at belonging to this community than most first-time winners. What a ledge. The audience’s reaction was wonderful too. And yes, I agree that Lady Day was rightfully considered a play, as all the music was presented in a concert format.
Best Line From an Opening Number
As I’ve said, the greatest opening number of all time is NPH’s 2013 behemoth, never to be topped (it’s below ps like I’d ever write this sort of nonsense post of my thoughts and not share the vid). It continues to blow my mind every day, 7 years later, and I’m particularly OB. SESSED with this part:
Hats off to Berry Gordy
He runs Motown like a boss.
He dominates Top 40 and he banged Diana Ross!
He wrote his own libretto which is really kinda ballin’
He took every Motown classic and he said “Eh, put ’em all in!”
The audience’s shocked laughter at the Diana Ross line, my god it was AMAZING. And I just adore how Neil says “eh put all ’em all in!” It’s perfect, while also kind of a burn at how overstuffed Motown the Musical was!
A close, close second is this line later in the song, about all the children on Bway that season:
They barely come up to your knees
But God they’re singing like MVPs
And they’re the reason this whole season seems to look like Chuck E. Cheese!
If you didn’t know Lin-Manuel wrote that song, you did when you heard the assonance in that line.
Best Line from a Closing Number
Another NPH performance, this time from the end of the 2009 telecast, had the unforgettable line:
Chris Sieber! Please! Performing on your knees? Dude that only works to win Golden Globes.
Forking classic.
BEST ACCEPTANCE SPEECH NEVER TO BE TOPPED
Forget his official works, Lin-Manuel’s first ever Tony win, for the score of In the Heights, is responsible in itself for a new era in musical theatre. Reminding everyone that he’s just as talented freestyle-rapping as he is with the written word, his genuinely heartfelt speech managed to on-the-fly make an unforgettable proclamation to Chris Jackson’s talents as well as an incredible reference to Sondheim’s greatest work about making art. Perfection.
MOST.
Alright, it’s time to just share the best opening of all time, the best Tony Awards celebration of all time, the best just simply, best. The 2013 opening number. I’ve watched this at least twice a week every week since 2013, so, you know, a lot, and every time it still brings me to happy tears. ENJOY!
What did I miss? What are your favorite Tony moments?
