January 19, 2023
Voting With Your Dollar: A Big Fork Off to Equinox & SoulCycleby Randi / August 9, 2019Over the weekend, I tried the vegan tasting menu at a non-vegan place and I was blown away – I think it’s one of the best vegan tasting menus out there! I know I’m starting off with a REAL bold statement but damn if I’m not telling the truth. You may already know all about our crippling addiction to tasting menus and eating at all the Michelin-starred restaurants that will accommodate vegans (you can read about some of those here), even though as previous Vegan Michelin Series reviews will tell you, it’s all usually very good but kind of like ‘eh it’s still just a well-cooked vegetable; is it worth all this money’. But I was pleasantly surprised by The Frog, a very hip very cool restaurant in Hoxton Square that’s doing actually creative tasting menus, even for vegans, and has received a Michelin Bib Gourmand in recent years, which warrants its place in this series (but honestly it was good enough that I’d be putting it here even without official Michy recognition).
I know I said in one of the last of the Vegan Michelin Series that we were probably going to stop for a while but a) that was like a year ago so we did b) this was a very special occasion and 3) this tasting menu was only £50 per person! That’s like normal eating out in London prices! (Side note, are you so glad I learned how to use the £ sign and stopped saying ‘pounddollars’. That’s growth.)
Like all tasting menus, this menu describes what’s to come using as few key words as possible so you really have no idea what to expect but it looks and sounds g-d elegant. Also, the sparsely worded menu makes it seem like you aren’t getting a lot of food but as usual we had to roll ourselves home. They quickly brought our first snacks, which I appreciated because I was as hungry as I was excited and also I can’t stay out too late especially when we have to walk through SHOREDITCH on a WEEKEND to get home man alive it was a nightmare of drunken crowdedness.
My first bunch of snacks were called “heritage carrot, roasted hazelnuts, mint” and “kohlrabi, nori, tarragon”. I like these words but was curious to see what they meant when put together.
The little kohlrabi bite was good, though the nori was extra strong and made it a bit too salty for me. But that carrot bite was literally incredible. I was/am almost embarrassed to be so bowled over by a jesus forking cracker with barbecued-tasting carrots on a delightful carrot puree but it was magical, and it makes my head hurt to think about how this was possible. This was my first Jon-Lovitz-on-Friends impression in a while (“Like it?? I could eat a hundred of ’em!”). This goddamn carrot cracker was my first indication that this was going to be amazing. (But seriously why was this so good?? How did you do it? What dark magick hath you wrought?)
Our next snacks – oh, so for tasting menus and Michelin-y places they like to throw a bunch of small bites at your face before you get to the actual courses so you feel well-liked by the chef and full as fork sooner rather than later – were just as good if not better! I got a sourdough cracker topped with pea hummus and dollops of…something jammy? I got jammed! Just as I weirdly went off about how amazing a simple bite of carrot was, I’m going to do the same about versions of sourdough right now. This cracker was amazing. I wish I could buy bags on bags of these crackers since they somehow nailed the exact perfect strength and texture for holding hummus, and as you know I eat hummus every day. EVERY DAY SON. I forget what the jammy dodger drops were all about but it added the perfect bit of sweetness to cut through the mild flavors. And guys, HUMMUS! Most of my tasting menu overviews complain about how they never think to give vegans protein because they’re always too busy going ‘oh look at me, look at me, I can cook a vegetable like you’ve never seen it before’ and you’re like ‘that’s fantastic and you’re right but also my muscles’ so I was prettay, prettay stoked to get peas so early on.
I can’t believe I wrote so much about a g-d cracker with hummus but it was really good.
Also pictured above was one of our favorite things ever and also our downfall: the bread. The Frog’s rye sourdough bread was forking phenom, and while Z got his with the place’s very famous chicken butter (gross)(not like ‘gross’ Z said it was great but I mean like gross for us sorry), I got a pat of house-made vegan butter! And by ‘pat’ I mean ‘patrick’ really because this was a lotttt of butter, and it was forking delicious. So delicious that we…asked for more bread. I know. You NEVER ask for more bread at a tasting menu. We are not new to this! We know the drill – you are already super full before you even get to dessert, and then they keep bringing you more food than you can handle and you leave feeling disgustingly full but like so happy but also SO hurt! We know all this! We done f-ed up because of that damn delicious bread. And the butter. Dammit bread and butter! Why are you so good? We had so much and then I was already full before my first actual course came. NEVER ASK FOR MORE BREAD (except honestly do because it’s so good).
My first actual course, thank you I’m already full, was “celeriac, apple, dates”. The combo of celeriac and apple is prime fancy restaurant territory and I was like oh this will be nice but basic. Turns out this was not basic but ya basic, because guess what was inside that bundle of celeriac? TOFU! It was like a tofu cream cheese stuffed inside the bundle. Restaurants NEVER do tofu anything except chocolate mousse so this was a really nice surprise. Yasss for protein, yes for tofu in the savories! This was really good. But the best part was that Z also had a cream cheese filled dish, and when the waiter described his dish and mentioned “the richness of the cream cheese”, Z said (after he left) “well thanks for letting me eat all that damn butter.” He was hurt too. It was so good.
My next course was “roast cauliflower, kimchi, yeast”. I know – I was like ‘jfc they’re going to bring me a hunk of roasted cauliflower and call it a steak, aren’t they? ffs’ because for some reason I was still being all defensive even though everything so far was wonderful. I should really be more optimistic because hot damn guys, this cauliflower dish was like one of the most mind-blowing things I’ve ever had. I still can’t even believe this dish. There were a few roasted cauliflower florets but not like you’ve ever had before. They tasted like General Tso’s chicken, complete with the sticky sweet sauce in the middle. But 100x better than you’ve ever had. The cauliflower kimchi was super pungent and spicy (nice) and the creamy sauce itself was remarkable. I guess the yeast was maybe a sprinkling of nooch? I’m not sure; I didn’t ask because I was too busy saying ‘holy shit, holy shit, holy shit.’
I was so happy and so satisfied, and I relaxed a little knowing that we hit the peak of the meal and nothing else coming was going to top that (sounds weird but that’s a little relaxing, like the pressure is off). But I was wrong.
I was wrong because next up was the “flatbread, cashew, sweetcorn, jalapeno” dish and it was Mexico. It was Mexico on a plate. (It’s fitting too, because starting this week on the Travel section of this site it’s time for our epic Mexico trip. I KNOW! So I know what Mexico tastes like, guys.) This was a perfect food. I don’t know what else to say about it. The sturdy little flatbread had the most incredible texture and (I’m sooo sorry) mouthfeel, and all the components on top – that cashew cream, the corn, the jalapeno, the herby oil – exist just to be placed on that circle of magic. I made Z have a piece even though he was equally full and, in his words, “I got my own problems here!” and he agreed that it was akin to disc of rainbows. He didn’t say that.
That marked the end of our savory dishes, but there was a special in-between course that killed us both – the cheese doughnut. Mine was an oily fried dough slab covered in cashew cream and cashew dust and it killed me. Oh my god. I don’t eat too much heavy food and this was like an Iowa state fair concentrated into three bites. It was like a funnel cake from a carnival without the sugar, manhandled into a denser substance, and then topped with forking cashew cream. It was so heavy, is what I’m saying. And yes it was pretty darn good, but I think it needed either some salt or some sugar, because without any additional flavor, its flavor profile was just Fat. Every gluttonous tasting menu situation has a point where you suspect the restaurant is making fun of you, and this was theirs. Z said “this isn’t a doughnut; this is a way to get people to eat fondue with their hands!” I asked him if he liked his doughnuttier, cheese-filled version, expecting him to say ‘eh’ or something, and he sighed in fullness and horror at what he was eating and said “fucking of course”. Hilarious. We were mocking how full the other was (so full) and I said to him ‘you have to finish all that coconut!’ Here’s his dish after he ate his doughnut. (Read the caption.)
Luckily, we had little palate cleansers before dessert.
This strawberry sorbet was perfect, and I loved getting it as a little palate cleanser and not as my whole dessert. I think most restaurants have learned from their sordid past of offering vegans fruit and fruit sorbets for dessert and calling it a day, and that’s a reality I like to think all my complaining has helped bring to fruition.
I do wish that they had put this on the vegan menu though, or told me I was getting a strawberry sorbet palate cleanser, because the vegan dessert option has you choose between strawberry or pineapple and I chose strawberry. So I had two servings of this (the second on my actual dessert). Unless…maybe they had made my strawberry sorbet for my dessert and then just gave me more of it to have a palate cleanser while Z had his? Interesting.
I’m not too mad about doubling up on the sorbet though, because like I said it was delicious, and more importantly, the vegan dessert was much more than just sorbet. It was more tofu! In the form of chocolate! And yes this isn’t exactly creative but man alive I’ll never look a gift chocolate tofu mousse in the mouth. I’ll be too busy putting it in mine. This may not have been the most interesting dessert, but it was great, and I’d rather have something tried and true and delicious than another curry ice cream fail.
As usual, just when you think you’ve made it, they bring you more food to end your experience. With our bill came these chocolate truffles. Luckily, they put them in a little to-go container for us, and I got to enjoy mine the next day. It was truly great, like this entire dinner. I would highly recommend a trip to The Frog for a go at their tasting menu, especially if you need a fancy place that caters to vegans and weirdos who aren’t vegan. I believe they change their menu monthly, so get in for these amazing dishes while it’s still August. I can’t wait to go back.
THE FROG, HOXTON, LONDON, UK, EUROPE PLEASE STAY EUROPE
Water speed: Honestly, LUDICROUSLY good. Like more attentive than American Chinese restaurants where they refill your glass after every sip you take. But since we had water carafes on the table, it was a little unnecessary – you don’t have to refill my glass after every sip when I have the full bottle within reach! I can do it myself! But still, I’ll never complain about having good water service. I mean I guess I just did. But it was great. They replaced the 6 or so bottles I went through very quickly too.
Service: Really great. Like I said, sometimes it was a little extra with the water service, but overall this was some of the best if not the best service in London. Case in point: During one course, I finished my dish and my 10th bottle of water, but Z still wasn’t done and I said I’m sorry but I’ve had 15 bottles of water so I excused myself and when I got back, he told me that they came to refold my napkin (as they do) but did not take my finished plate away! THAT IS A FIRST. They did exactly what you’re supposed to do but no one ever follows that rule. Every other restaurant has always taken the empty plate away while the other diner/s were still eating, which is forking rude and also not the correct move, so bravo. The sommelier was good too and Z said he enjoyed the wine pairing.
Bathrooms: Okay so this was the only real negative I have to report. There are two single stalls, one plain, one disabled, and they were…not good. They were like the bathrooms in Starbucks but less nice. We were both really surprised.
Food: So surprisingly awesome. Some of these dishes are on my Most list. It’s so nice to find a vegan tasting menu that definitely shows respect to vegetables but also makes them fun and interesting.
Bonus: The tasting menu cost is very reasonable. It’s a fraction of the cost of other Michelin-y ones out there and yet much better. Great stuff.
Related Posts
Event at 10 Cable Street: Phenomenal Tasting Menu by Acorn Restaurant
This weekend, we had an INCREDIBLE supper club experience at 10 Cable Street, with a special dinner presented by Michelin-guided vegetarian restaurant Acorn, coming all the way from Bath to make me happy. It was a six-course tasting menu. You can see in my blog archives that I’ve had lots of vegan tasting menus in this city, and while they’ve all been good, overall they’ve been kind of boring (and always lacking in protein). While the protein issue wasn’t fixed here, as it was another fance restaurant focusing on the magical powers of cooking vegetables well, there was no boring to be found. These six dishes were all spectacular & interesting, with unique flavor profiles that you’d NEVER guess would work, but work (exceedingly well) they did.
Let’s take a look at all the food, course by course (one by one, till you shout ‘enough I’m done!’ except I can’t hear you so no).
Course 1: Pea sorbet in juice from the garden
I know, what? Pea sorbet? In GREEN JUICE? With a random sourdough crispbread on top? Are you shitting me? Honestly, although the crispbread felt out of place (and we got real sourdough bread later in the meal so that was enough (yay bread!)), this was one of my favorites. The juice held pickly celery bits, samphire (I LOVE samphire), fresh peas, mustard seeds, just a whole juice cleanse worth of goodness. It was so refreshing, and the impressively successful sorbet was unlike anything I’ve had before. I felt completely detoxified from it (and yes that’s b.s. but it felt like a happy summer day).
Course 2: Carrot, almond, and parsley
This was a play on carrots two ways: what seemed to be slow cooked and then charred, and then pickly discs on top (lol pickly discs), with a parsley ice, some almonds, and a dollop of cream. The parsley ice could have used salting, but otherwise this was very nice, although I would have preferred more of a saucing to make it more interesting. I feel like this was the one dish that I could have believed coming from a past restaurant visit, where it was all good, don’t get me wrong, but not exceedingly special.
Course 3: Cauliflower glazed in coffee, hazelnut polenta
As someone who doesn’t drink or like coffee, I’m shocked that this dish might be my favorite. The coffee-glazed cauliflower was GENIUS, absolutely a work of genius. There’s something about that coffee depth that really shines with the cauliflower, raising the so maligned but so hard-working vegetable to new heights. It worked so well. The creamy, super rich polenta was delicious, like a fancy ass breakfast porridge but fancyassier. On its own, it would be something I’d want more for a loaded-oatmeal-like dessert treat, but with the cauliflower this was all so right.
Course 4: Mushroom parfait, bobby beans
This dish was a mushroom lover’s fantasy, and since I’m a mushroom lover, I was clearly bowled over. The various mushroom parts of this dish were extraordinary. The king oyster mushroom was, as my seatmates pointed out, EXACTLY like scallops, with the same texture. I love oyster mushrooms. The jelly square was actually pure truffle goo, like WHAT in the world, how did they inject so much truffle flavor, and into what? What’s the base? Just pure fat? I don’t know but WOW. There was so much of it and it was so unbelievably rich that I had trouble finishing it, but it was so delicious that I wanted to. (And then I got a bellyache.) But a little goes a long way with pure truffle goop goodness. Tiny little cartoon mushrooms and green onions dotted the dish to brighten up the heavy flavors, a really smart and necessary addition, plus there were a few endive leaves just like chilling randomly. Bobby beans (you gotta say it like MMMBOBBY NEWPORT!) apparently just means regular green beans cooked in oil, but they were wrapped in a long magician’s scarf of a collard leaf which I adored, obviously.
Course 5: Strawberries, fennel sorbet
It’s not British summertime without perfect strawberries, but that fennel sorbet, like the pea sorbet, was the star. It was SUPERB. If you like anise flavors, this would have blown your G-D MIND. I mean come on it was fennel sorbet! It managed to be the right level of sweet without becoming medicinal, and while packing enormous fennel flavor into each spoonful.
Course 6: Chocolate, olive oil, and parsnip
We were all nervous about this one, because, while chocolate and olive oil are friends, who invited parsnip? I don’t even like parsnips; it’s like my least-eaten vegetable. (Damn between coffee and parsnips this dinner sure challenged my tastes.) How were they even going to combine the three ingredients? Well, geniusly, of course. The chocolate was in a rich, wonderful ganache that I could eat every single day for dessert, happily. There were harder little chocolate bits underneath it that I very much enjoyed finding. But the surprise was the parsnip, in the form of a third and final impressive sorbet. The creaminess of the parsnip made it more like an ice cream, and somehow, someway, by the grace of god, it was actually delicious. There’s no wiggle room in making parsnip ice cream; one drop too much of sugar and it’s gross sugary parsnips. But they nailed it, and it’s mind-boggling. The whole dish was covered with drops of candied ginger to tie it together and it was so good.
As if that weren’t enough, they sent us home with little treat gifts! Inside these little cloth (“his napkins are made of shirt material!” “cloth”) sacks were handmade truffles and caramels. I KNOW!
And they were DELICIOUS. I don’t know whether to thank the venue or the restaurant for these, but thanks to everyone. What an adorable, delightful capper to a fantastic dinner.
Acorn Restaurant Supper Club at 10 Cable Street, Whitechapel, London, UK
Water speed: There were carafes of water already on the (communal) tables when we arrived! That is the best way to become my friend! Sure the glasses were only 2-sip-holders but with a carafe at the ready, it was great! And even though I kept finishing the pitchers quickly, someone would IMMEDIATELY come to replace it. Super impressed.
Service: Very good considering how hard it is to serve dozens of people the same thing at the same times. I loved that the head chef came out to tell each table about each dish. It felt very special.
Bathrooms: 10 Cable Street has one lil guy that is kind of smack in the middle of the dining room and feels a little weird; I might just go home next time! But it’s fine. The only problem was that the communal tables had bench seating and, in a long dress, I COULD NOT get in and out of my seat without looking like a fool LIKE A FOOL. So dress appropriately. (Also, if you have limited mobility, contact them in advance about your seating.)
Food: So impressive and delicious, we are honestly considering a trip to the Bath restaurant.
Bonus: It’s nice to eat a great meal surrounded by like-minded folks! I said folks lol! We talked to really nice people and had a ball. Also, did I mention I live pretty much next door? I can’t wait to see what the next event at 10 Cable Street is.
Berlin Food Guide: Eat Like A Hobbit And You Shall Be Rewarded
Let’s continue Berlin week with the general food guide! The unbelievable plethora of vegan food was the most surprising and enjoyable part of Berlin. We also have several amazing restaurant and special store spotlights coming.
I realize that my travel guides always tend to suggest that you eat like a hobbit (constantly/tremendously/gluttonously), but I really mean it this time. Like super mean it. Berlin is the most vegan-friendly European city. I’m pretty sure it’s the most vegan-friendly non-American city, actually. If you disagree, please buy me a ticket to your city of choice and I’ll let you know.
I realize that my travel guides always tend to suggest that you eat like a hobbit (constantly/tremendously/gluttonously), but I really mean it this time. Like super mean it. Berlin is the most vegan-friendly European city. I’m pretty sure it’s the most vegan-friendly non-American city, actually. If you disagree, please buy me a ticket to your city of choice and I’ll let you know.
Curry #1 at FBI
EATERY FBI
Anyway! My first food stop was an urgent, unplanned curry meal at Eatery FBI, right near our hotel in Potsdamer Platz. I think it stands for Free Berlin Ich. Famous Bread Inhere. Federal Bosnian Intervention? The servers were very knowledgeable about what was vegan, and they spoke English of course. They also made a green smoothie that I got a few mornings! Score! The curry was decent for what was essentially fast food – comforting and it tasted good! I hate the word tasty but I would probably use it here if I could stomach it.
Anyway! My first food stop was an urgent, unplanned curry meal at Eatery FBI, right near our hotel in Potsdamer Platz. I think it stands for Free Berlin Ich. Famous Bread Inhere. Federal Bosnian Intervention? The servers were very knowledgeable about what was vegan, and they spoke English of course. They also made a green smoothie that I got a few mornings! Score! The curry was decent for what was essentially fast food – comforting and it tasted good! I hate the word tasty but I would probably use it here if I could stomach it.
Curry #2!
JIVAMUKTI CANTEEN
One of my favorite cafes was the Jivamukti Canteen in Mitte (central), inside the Jivamukti Yoga studio. Yes, just like Jivamukti in NYC! It’s a franchise! So nice! Cafes inside yoga studios typically sell the exact food I would want at any given time. It’s always plain, fresh, arguably healthy, and yummy but veering towards bland, in the best way possible. Like Prasad in Portland with its lovely bowls and soups. Perfection. Anyway, we shared several dishes. The best was the potato salad, because it wasn’t that disgusting mayonnaise-covered crap that you know as potato salad. It was just lightly dressed potatoes, peppers, cucumber, celery, and herbs in a little mason jar!
Jivamukti’s potato salad I had a tofu sandwich that, while it sounds like the shittiest thing ever, was great. I mostly credit the spectacular, sturdy, chewy baguette that raised the sandwich to a higher level. Bread is so important. The tofu slices were yummy too, fresh and flavored and so much better than ready-made vegan lunchmeat blech ach. It had a bit of mustardy spread, tomatoes, and other salad fixings on it and it was so good!
We also tried a…this. What’s it called? It’s a fried gooey cheesy and spinach pastry. It was good but not my typical yoga studio fare; it’s a little too fried and oily for my taste. 
Is this just a savory danish? Are they German? I’m lost. |
Potatoes and sandwich at the Jiva 
My sandwich??? MY SANDWICH??????!!!!!!!! 
All kinds of drinks |
Of course I also had a green juice. I chose the one called Green Machine, with cucumber, celery, fennel, kale, lemon, and apple. It was delicious AND there was very little pulp left at the bottom. Seriously, professional juice-selling people need to work on this across the board. Anyway, juice good. We also tried a raw brownie and it was definitely on the higher end of the very very short range of how raw brownies can taste (i.e. they are all pretty much the same).
Yummeeeeeeeeee
MOMOS DUMPLINGS
Momos is a little place selling freshly steamed Nepalese dumplings. They’re more like ravioli than the Chinese or Japanese dumplings you or I might expect, in that there is less doughy part. Despite the slightly lower carb level, the taste was pretty good, with strong curries and spices coming through. I prefer less spicy dumplings, but if you are a fan of strong curry flavors or, of course, Nepalese dumplings, then you’ll like this place. I just had a steamed bun yesterday, so right now I’m like give me all the big puffy balls of dough and so a little biased in my memory. The vegan options are clearly marked (and the majority of options are vegan). You can get your dumplings pan-fried or steamed, and you can choose small (8 momos), medium (14 momos), or large (18 momos), with 1-3 dips. We got a small because this was second lunchies, and we got the mitho sauce, which is another strong curry-like tomato dip. It was a little too much of the same flavors so I’d suggest a different dip.
Momos is a little place selling freshly steamed Nepalese dumplings. They’re more like ravioli than the Chinese or Japanese dumplings you or I might expect, in that there is less doughy part. Despite the slightly lower carb level, the taste was pretty good, with strong curries and spices coming through. I prefer less spicy dumplings, but if you are a fan of strong curry flavors or, of course, Nepalese dumplings, then you’ll like this place. I just had a steamed bun yesterday, so right now I’m like give me all the big puffy balls of dough and so a little biased in my memory. The vegan options are clearly marked (and the majority of options are vegan). You can get your dumplings pan-fried or steamed, and you can choose small (8 momos), medium (14 momos), or large (18 momos), with 1-3 dips. We got a small because this was second lunchies, and we got the mitho sauce, which is another strong curry-like tomato dip. It was a little too much of the same flavors so I’d suggest a different dip.
VONER
My pick for what place out of Berlin should be franchised internationally in every major city is Vöner, the VEGAN DONER restaurant in the Friedrichshain neighborhood. That’s right, not only does it have the cutest sign ever but it is vegan doner. Like doner kebab, you know that disgusting slab of hanging meat that sellers shave off and wrap up in pita for? But it’s all vegan! They have burgers, fish & chips, all manner of vegan doner, and even Berlin’s very well known fave currywurst (which we will recreate later this week!). Definitely get the vöner. I got it as a platter but I wish I got it in the pita because I love bread. Still, the vöner was so awesome!! The chips were good, the tahini sauce was solid, and it had a little bit of Israeli salad (I wonder what it’s called here?). But the seitan vöner was amazing! I love this place so much! I would go every week if I lived there.
My pick for what place out of Berlin should be franchised internationally in every major city is Vöner, the VEGAN DONER restaurant in the Friedrichshain neighborhood. That’s right, not only does it have the cutest sign ever but it is vegan doner. Like doner kebab, you know that disgusting slab of hanging meat that sellers shave off and wrap up in pita for? But it’s all vegan! They have burgers, fish & chips, all manner of vegan doner, and even Berlin’s very well known fave currywurst (which we will recreate later this week!). Definitely get the vöner. I got it as a platter but I wish I got it in the pita because I love bread. Still, the vöner was so awesome!! The chips were good, the tahini sauce was solid, and it had a little bit of Israeli salad (I wonder what it’s called here?). But the seitan vöner was amazing! I love this place so much! I would go every week if I lived there.
Vöner platter
We also tried a platter of the currywurst, which is a take on Berlin’s favorite local food, a curry-besauced sausage sold in trucks on every single corner. I loved the seitan in both platters; it was so well done. But the curry sauce is so weird! Husband said it was pretty much how real currywurst is, so currywurst is just weird. (Yay let’s make it later!)
Vegan currywurst
OHLALA
My other absolute favorite place that I would go to every week (or maybe every day) if I lived there is Ohlala, billed as a ‘dessert restaurant’ but is really actually heaven. While they do have actual food there – we had a good quiche and a salad – the desserts steal the show, your hearts, everything that can be stolen.
My other absolute favorite place that I would go to every week (or maybe every day) if I lived there is Ohlala, billed as a ‘dessert restaurant’ but is really actually heaven. While they do have actual food there – we had a good quiche and a salad – the desserts steal the show, your hearts, everything that can be stolen.
Look at this stuff. Isn’t it neat? |
White hot chocolate that I tried. It was SO FREAKING GOOD. And I love the ballsiness of putting a hot beverage in a regular glass. |
First, the quiche:
Spinach quiche and salad at Ohlala!
The spinach quiche was pretty good! It was nothing to write home about but it was yummy. I remember the crust being kind of spongy, which was weird, because I’d expect the crust in a mostly dessert place to be perfectly crusty. The salad it came with was covered in a little too much dressing that was a little too mustardy, but I’m always happy to have fresh salad when traveling so overall I enjoyed my food here. But. What came next was a delight!
Whuuuuut.
This pyramid sonofabeach was a peanut butter-chocolate extravaganza of richness. I feel like this is the real gift the Egyptians meant to leave the Earth. Look at this bitch! It was so so good. This is the kind of thing it’s good to share because that dark chocolate can really do some gluttony inhibiting. Man alive this was decadent.
Rich chocolate cake
Next, we tried the dark chocolate sponge cake. The texture was perfect but I prefer things a little sweeter? I think? Maybe it wasn’t so much unsweet as just a little hard to read. Like the chocolate wasn’t coming through enough for me. It needed a pinch of salt maybe to make that happen. If you prefer your chocolate cake more subtle and deep, this one is for you. My favorite part was the whipped cream.
But, if you do happen to be going to Ohlala, none of the above matters, because you can get this freaktastic work of all the genies in the atmosphere:
The Tresor. IT’S A FREAKING INTERNATIONAL TREASURE! THIS IS WHAT THOSE STUPID NICHOLAS CAGE MOVIES SHOULD HAVE BEEN ABOUT! I’M JUST KIDDING THOSE MOVIES ARE NOT STUPID THEY ARE AMAZING!
LOOK AT THAT SONOFABITCH! AHHHHHHH!!! I still can’t believe I was lucky enough to eat this mofo. This is a chocolate hazelnut freaking work of ART. That light chocolate mousse on the outside is absolutely perfect in taste and texture, and it’s coated with crushed crunchy nuts. But it houses SUCH SECRETS you can’t even BELIEVE! So much so that in the previous sentence I first wrote ‘secrest’ and almost didn’t change it because it might as well have housed Ryan Seacrest in there for how surprising and amazing this is. Except it’s SO MUCH BETTER THAN RYAN SEACREST IS THERE? Ok, are you ready? It’s like this chocolate ganache and when you get to the center, A FLOOD OF CARAMELLY CHOCOLATEY LAVA POURS OUT OF THE MIDDLE. And THEN THERE IS A HAZELNUT. I CAN’T STOP YELLING IN MY HEAD. This is definitely one of the five most incredible outstanding things I have ever, ever eaten, anywhere. Go get one now.
I don’t know how we move on from there, but move on we must. Moving on…
DOLORES BURRITOS
I would say that Dolores is another place I’d go to all the time if I lived near it, but I pretty much already do, because it’s just like a Chipotle. Not that I necessarily live super close to a Chipotle anymore, but there are some in London and I’m near a Chilango and apparently that is close enough to. ANYWAY the point is, very good, solid burrito place with clearly marked vegan options. Yay!
BURRITO ROCKET |
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QIU RESTAURANT in the Mandala Hotel
On our last night in Berlin, we were so beat and realized so late that we were hungry, so we checked out the restaurant in the hotel. Not the super fancy one that had two Michelin stars, because that was booked for quite some time, but the little sister restaurant Qiu, which still seemed way too fancy to cater to veganism. Also, this little piece of amazingness was on the menu (and I’m still laughing at the wording):
On our last night in Berlin, we were so beat and realized so late that we were hungry, so we checked out the restaurant in the hotel. Not the super fancy one that had two Michelin stars, because that was booked for quite some time, but the little sister restaurant Qiu, which still seemed way too fancy to cater to veganism. Also, this little piece of amazingness was on the menu (and I’m still laughing at the wording):
Lolol
However, the super friendly waiter helped make an actually great meal for me! Yes, it was a take on pasta primavera, so I hear all of you groaning in response to this too-frequent too-easy offer from like every single restaurant in their shitty attempts to accommodate vegans, but this was delicious! He also worked together a great salad for me.
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So, this is just to tell you that if you stay at the Mandala Hotel, or find yourself in Potsdamer Platz late at night and don’t know what to do, you can eat well at Qiu.
ICE CREAM – EISSALON TANNE B & CARAMELLO
Last but certainly not least: ice cream! Berlin, like every European city, loves its ice cream a sumbitch. There are salons (with the emphasis on the first syllable obvs) everywhere, and so many have vegan options. And most of you know my deep, deep hatred for places that only offer vegan fruit sorbets. TRY A LITTLE HARDER PEOPLE. I want chocolate or something awesome and non-fruit. I eat fruit for breakfast! Luckily, the SALons in Berlin offer wonderful non-cheater vegan options. My favorite was Eissalon Tanne B, in Kreuzberg. Get it? Eissalon= ice salon? Love it. I had absolutely wonderful chocolate and cherry.
This ice cream was positively delightful! The cherry wasn’t sorbet but legit ice cream, so it wasn’t cheating, and the chocolate was so delicious! No So Delicious the brand but sooo delicious nonetheless. And the cones were vegan! Yayyy!
We also found vegan treats at Caramello in Friedrichshain. Friedrichshain, by the way, is like a small Brooklyn in terms of vegan-friendliness by density. Even the non-food shoppes were vegan-friendly (tattoos mostly). 
THESE ARE NOT MY HANDS! |
Eissalon Tanne B 
Caramello I don’t know whose chocolate + red fruit-flavored ice creams were better! Yummy!
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So, as you can see, Berlin is a vegan paradise! This doesn’t even cover the bigger restaurants we enjoyed; they will come later this week. Please let me know if any of my recommendations work out for you! I want to see pictures of inside the Tresor! I know I took some but I can’t find them! Also, what are your favorite places in Berlin?
