Dinner at Plates: East London's Plant-Based Craze Gets Fancierby Randi / May 8, 2018
It’s Theatre Thursday! Today we are talking about Kathleen Turner’s cabaret show, which is currently on tour around England until May 14.
After decades of varied performances on film, stage, and television, Kathleen Turner is finally starting to sing. Or, well, groan melodically. Although I went into her show “Finding My Voice” secretly hoping for a surprise performance of “Viva Las Gaygas”, Kathleen’s cabaret weaving interesting life stories with relevant songs made for an enchanting time at London’s Other Palace Theatre. And enchanting is not the word usually associated with the actress nowadays. She’s gruff and intense, and you could tell that if you tried to make small talk she would tell you to cut the bullshit. She would bark it, really, in that rasping voice that seems to sound more and more like gravel rolling around a barrel in the depths of the ocean as time goes on. This is not a voice you would naturally think of for a musical cabaret, but that’s one of the many reasons why this show works pretty well.
After decades of varied performances on film, stage, and television, Kathleen Turner is finally starting to sing. Or, well, groan melodically. Although I went into her show “Finding My Voice” secretly hoping for a surprise performance of “Viva Las Gaygas”, Kathleen’s cabaret weaving interesting life stories with relevant songs made for an enchanting time at London’s Other Palace Theatre. And enchanting is not the word usually associated with the actress nowadays. She’s gruff and intense, and you could tell that if you tried to make small talk she would tell you to cut the bullshit. She would bark it, really, in that rasping voice that seems to sound more and more like gravel rolling around a barrel in the depths of the ocean as time goes on. This is not a voice you would naturally think of for a musical cabaret, but that’s one of the many reasons why this show works pretty well.
Kathleen’s renowned stage work (she was the best Martha in “Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf” aside from the ledge Uta Hagen that Ben Brantley ever saw) (but actually Brantley is over now that we’ve heard his Tony picks for this year and they could only be fairly judged as the product of a broken mind the opinions of which cannot in good faith be respected any longer but I digress (as usual) (I MEAN COME ON THOUGH) (HE CRAY)) has readied her for this milestone career move, albeit with an audience more intimate than in the big houses she’s used to. But no one really knew if she could sing, not enough to put on a whole cabaret. She never has, save for a little bit as Chandler’s dad, I think (which by the way is the greatest casting ever and the casting people should have won an Emmy for that alone this is the hill I will die on). The confusion, warranted given that she’s not known as a singer or anything close, was rampant pre-show, when I heard people asking each other ‘so is she going to sing? Or is this just her telling stories or something?’ ‘I don’t know; does she sing?’ She does. Although it’s not like any singing you would expect from this type of show, her performance is still captivating and entertaining.
She goes all the way back to her upbringing as the child of a diplomat, moving around the world every few years. The specific childhood memories she recounted were the most fascinating stories of the night. Born in Missouri, she grew up in Cuba, where she became fluent in Spanish, and then moved to Venezuela after the embassy in Cuba shuttered. Her memorable story of a run-in with a family that also moved from Cuba to Venezuela and blamed her father for not getting the chance to move to America would sound fake but you can’t make that kind of thing up. I wish we could more stories about her fascinating life abroad, which eventually took her to London for high school. I don’t know if many in the audience knew that she had such strong ties here but you could feel a wave of respect for the sort-of kinsman take over the crowd, which by the way was all gay guys, middle-aged ladies who very vocally would respond ‘mm-hmm!’ ‘ohh yes’ and ‘wow’, and me.
As she shares snippets of these remarkable moments of her life, the band – her music director on piano plus a guitarist and bassist – would cut in with a few mostly recognizable notes as she launched into fitting songs for their position in the stories. Sometimes it was overly dramatized and I would have rolled my eyes a little at how unnecessary the drama was but I was enjoying seeing this larger than life woman in person too much. They mostly performed standards, many I knew, plus some newer songs and one that was written for her specifically (which was the weakest of the bunch). Her rendition of Cole Porter’s ‘Let’s Fall in Love’, a song usually performed cheerfully, was reminiscent of her earlier movie roles in its directness and boldness. I loved hearing some of my favorite musical theatre standards like ‘You’ve Got to be Carefully Taught’, which felt much shorter than usual, and ‘On the Street Where You Live’, which was among the most moving parts of the show given its matching story. But the best part was when I thought ‘Man her voice really would be incredible on ‘Brother, Can You Spare a Dime’’ and then she sang it. The gloom of that song, the grim outlook, it works so well with the guttural roar she produces. Even when she would exhale during the speaking portions, it would come out like a low groan, like a storm was always rumbling.
One of her stories was about her famous theatre friend asking if she sang, to which Kathleen, never one to shirk from a challenge, said yes, and that’s how this cabaret was made. But her voice, a growl emanating from the deepest reaches, is not a pretty voice to listen to. I thought sometimes that there were too many songs to sit through. And yet it works with these songs and in telling her stories. This voice screams out for these old standards, as she seems like a throwback to another time too. And for the most part she is. Her heyday is over, but she is fighting to reclaim her place in the business now that her serious health scare is somewhat under control. And she’s defiant, about her place in the business then and now and whether she cares what you think about it all (she doesn’t). I loved how some of her stories about her movie career were so one-sided that you kind of knew she was leaving out important details, but it didn’t matter. These were her memories and if they don’t match with what someone else says about her, tough. The one weak song I mentioned was written about her extensive support and volunteer work for Planned Parenthood, and the matter-of-factness with which she talked about it, as if no one would object, showed that she knew no one would dare cross her on this. And sure no one would in that audience, and sure it’s completely different to talk about that outside the USA, but even so you could tell from her demeanor that she would be speaking of it with the same bluntness and confidence no matter where she was. The song lyrics were a little too on the nose about clinic happenings to be musically impressive, but I loved the approach to it and the fact that she performed this unabashedly in her life story concert.
Other highlights included a song in Spanish and a hilarious story about her time working with Francis Ford Coppola, and even he couldn’t escape her, let’s call it candor. I love that she is honest and assertive and doesn’t care about being nice, traits that usually end up producing people who are much better than anyone who cares about being ‘nice’. She is the epitome of someone who gives no fucks – which you could realize by the sheer fact that it’s Kathleen Turner doing a musical cabaret ffs – and I love it.
INFORMATION
“Finding My Voice” is touring England until May 14. Google details if you live in like Horsham? Oh and it ends in Edinburgh and I know some of you live there.
STAGE DOOR
She came out! She asked that no one take pictures but she signed and talked to me for a little bit until she found me boring and turned away which ya know can’t fault her for that. LOVES IT.
She goes all the way back to her upbringing as the child of a diplomat, moving around the world every few years. The specific childhood memories she recounted were the most fascinating stories of the night. Born in Missouri, she grew up in Cuba, where she became fluent in Spanish, and then moved to Venezuela after the embassy in Cuba shuttered. Her memorable story of a run-in with a family that also moved from Cuba to Venezuela and blamed her father for not getting the chance to move to America would sound fake but you can’t make that kind of thing up. I wish we could more stories about her fascinating life abroad, which eventually took her to London for high school. I don’t know if many in the audience knew that she had such strong ties here but you could feel a wave of respect for the sort-of kinsman take over the crowd, which by the way was all gay guys, middle-aged ladies who very vocally would respond ‘mm-hmm!’ ‘ohh yes’ and ‘wow’, and me.
As she shares snippets of these remarkable moments of her life, the band – her music director on piano plus a guitarist and bassist – would cut in with a few mostly recognizable notes as she launched into fitting songs for their position in the stories. Sometimes it was overly dramatized and I would have rolled my eyes a little at how unnecessary the drama was but I was enjoying seeing this larger than life woman in person too much. They mostly performed standards, many I knew, plus some newer songs and one that was written for her specifically (which was the weakest of the bunch). Her rendition of Cole Porter’s ‘Let’s Fall in Love’, a song usually performed cheerfully, was reminiscent of her earlier movie roles in its directness and boldness. I loved hearing some of my favorite musical theatre standards like ‘You’ve Got to be Carefully Taught’, which felt much shorter than usual, and ‘On the Street Where You Live’, which was among the most moving parts of the show given its matching story. But the best part was when I thought ‘Man her voice really would be incredible on ‘Brother, Can You Spare a Dime’’ and then she sang it. The gloom of that song, the grim outlook, it works so well with the guttural roar she produces. Even when she would exhale during the speaking portions, it would come out like a low groan, like a storm was always rumbling.
One of her stories was about her famous theatre friend asking if she sang, to which Kathleen, never one to shirk from a challenge, said yes, and that’s how this cabaret was made. But her voice, a growl emanating from the deepest reaches, is not a pretty voice to listen to. I thought sometimes that there were too many songs to sit through. And yet it works with these songs and in telling her stories. This voice screams out for these old standards, as she seems like a throwback to another time too. And for the most part she is. Her heyday is over, but she is fighting to reclaim her place in the business now that her serious health scare is somewhat under control. And she’s defiant, about her place in the business then and now and whether she cares what you think about it all (she doesn’t). I loved how some of her stories about her movie career were so one-sided that you kind of knew she was leaving out important details, but it didn’t matter. These were her memories and if they don’t match with what someone else says about her, tough. The one weak song I mentioned was written about her extensive support and volunteer work for Planned Parenthood, and the matter-of-factness with which she talked about it, as if no one would object, showed that she knew no one would dare cross her on this. And sure no one would in that audience, and sure it’s completely different to talk about that outside the USA, but even so you could tell from her demeanor that she would be speaking of it with the same bluntness and confidence no matter where she was. The song lyrics were a little too on the nose about clinic happenings to be musically impressive, but I loved the approach to it and the fact that she performed this unabashedly in her life story concert.
Other highlights included a song in Spanish and a hilarious story about her time working with Francis Ford Coppola, and even he couldn’t escape her, let’s call it candor. I love that she is honest and assertive and doesn’t care about being nice, traits that usually end up producing people who are much better than anyone who cares about being ‘nice’. She is the epitome of someone who gives no fucks – which you could realize by the sheer fact that it’s Kathleen Turner doing a musical cabaret ffs – and I love it.
INFORMATION
“Finding My Voice” is touring England until May 14. Google details if you live in like Horsham? Oh and it ends in Edinburgh and I know some of you live there.
STAGE DOOR
She came out! She asked that no one take pictures but she signed and talked to me for a little bit until she found me boring and turned away which ya know can’t fault her for that. LOVES IT.
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‘I Love You, You’re Perfect, Now Change’ Filmed at London Coliseum: A Great Example of How to Film a Stage Show
It’s Theatre Thursday! Well last night was, for the press night of the new filmed theatrical production of I Love You, You’re Perfect, Now Change, from Lambert Jackson Productions and the London Coliseum, available to watch for this weekend.
The new filmed stage production of Joe DiPietro & Jimmy Roberts’ musical I Love You, You’re Perfect, Now Change, directed by Kirk Jameson, is the rare streamed production of the past year that made the most of its dual status as both a stage show and a film. It still felt stagey, with all the raw edges and intimate casualness of theatre, but made the most of being pre-filmed, with quick changes between settings, costumes, and characters amplifying the short vignette style of the show. The style let each scene feel like a unique story despite only using the four actors the show calls for.
I Love You, You’re Perfect, Now Change (that’s the last time I’ll type that whole title out) is the 1997 Off-Broadway musical consisting of vignettes – mostly very funny, some sad – about love and relationships. From dating to marriage to widowhood, the musical shared insights into universally felt moments of hilarious cringe from the dating scene as well as semi-poignant thoughts about long-term relationships, in a way that audiences heavily related to, at least in the ’90s. Some parts are dated, from the opening number’s line about Sweet’N Low and Half & Half (I swear tg I have not heard about Sweet’N Low since my dad stopped stealing them in bulk from the deli in the year 1999), to the entire scene with the divorcee making her video for the old VHS dating services (which I had to explain the existence of to my husband, my knowledge of course coming from that one episode of Full House where Joey makes one in the basement). This production modernizes other parts, as recent productions have, inserting necessary lines about phone apps and swiping in certain directions, as well as replacing one original scene with one about dick pics. Although I don’t mind shows embracing the times they were written in, I also didn’t mind these fairly innocuous updates to avoid being too much of a period piece.
Luckily, the humor I remembered from this show remained. (Although, at the beginning I got nervous. I didn’t quite get the framing device, with the creepy church sounds and vampire movie music. We did this show in college, and I did not remember anything spooky or creepy, so the first minute or so of Halloween noises and sermons made me question all my memories and experiences but fortunately it segued into fun musical theatre pretty quickly.) From the first awkward date to, well, the next awkward date, because the awkward dates provide the funniest material, the show made me laugh quite a bit. It’s super quirky (that’s the The Word for describing it), often weird af, and overall enjoyable, especially with the help of a great cast. Simon Lipkin (replacing Trevor Dion Nicholas from the initial announcement and I haven’t found out why yet and I hope Trevor is okay because what a guy), who is always a riot even as a creepy carnival barker (Assassins, not Carousel), is in top comedic form here, especially as the lawyer in the “Satisfaction Guaranteed” scene, something perfectly suited to his goofy-yet-intimidating-yet-fun schtick. Oliver Tompsett, another one of our fave West End guys, comes off equally well as long as he’s not saying ‘lasagna’ in a, what, Chicago? accent? Please don’t. His scene with Alice Fearn as two undatable nerds realizing they’re perfect for each other is a great show of zero ego (he looks ridiculous) and all talent.
Alice Fearn and Brenda Edwards get to show off as well, playing virtually the entire range of adult female character types. Their duet “Single Man Drought” was one of the definite highlights of the production, with their strong voices and stage presence convincing you it was a power anthem despite the context of the material.
A dip in energy came from the end of the first ‘act’, with the scene of the gay couple that felt vaguely homophobic, like very 1990s with the ‘acting gay’ thing (also the baby talk-into-sort-of-rap was a musical low point, woof), through the wedding and into the married couple vignettes, probably because the dating world is just funnier than the married world. Married problems are serious and sad! But the steam picked up again with the other highlight of the night, Tompsett’s gorgeous “Shouldn’t I Be Less in Love with You?” I mean, it’s like Cassidy Jansen was off in the wings about to forgive him for screwing up Romeo & Juliet by belting her face off. (That’s an & Juliet joke.) This one song and his performance ended the typical second act doldrums of many musicals from this era. Just beautiful.
The final scene of the widows meeting at a funeral was objectively sad in content, but it didn’t capture the emotion it aimed to. Something about it felt off, maybe a bit forced to have us immediately need to form an emotional impression of characters we have no connection to, and also yeah Lipkin sounds like a pretty Jewish name but his old New York Jew impression still felt…wrong to me. But with the joyous, catchy finale and its wonderful four-part-harmony introduction to the title song (once you get past the creepy church noises again), the show ended on a pleasant high note. Overall, it’s a solid production of this quirky (there we go again) show that tries to be goofy and ridiculous as often as it tries to be serious and important, where overall it just makes for a pretty good time.
“The King and I” Transfers to London: More like The Queen and I
It’s Theatre Thursday! We’re talking about “The King and I”, which is now playing in the West End after transferring from Broadway!
Seeing “The King and I” at Lincoln Center Theatre three years ago (I remember because it was my birthday) was a magical theatrical experience, one that felt majestic and classic, as well as classy. From the opening scene with that enormous boat gliding into the orchestra, to the last moving moments, I was enraptured with its perfect direction and flawless performances. With that Broadway production’s transfer to London, complete with its top two stars, Kelli O’Hara finally gets to show the West End what incredible talent looks/sounds like and Ken Watanabe keeps getting to make audiences laugh. But the production feels like the final moments of “Pippin” when compared to the Broadway incarnation – like when everything is stripped away to show what the stage would be like without magic. Sure the lights and costumes and music are all there, but it feels like the magic is missing. The lackluster feel is partly due to the theatre it’s in (the Palladium), partly due to a West End cast that just isn’t as top notch, and partly due to the wackiness of the source material being exposed in this new light.
Don’t get me (too) wrong: it’s still one of the better productions currently on the West End, but it doesn’t hold a candle to the Broadway version. Something feels off, and the audience reaction (weird audience, btw) made me realize what it was: England is treating this show as if it were a pantomime. If you aren’t familiar, a panto is a beast native to England, a musical comedy extravaganza that is for families (i.e. little kids). Different from a musical that happens to be a comedy, a panto is more like commedia dell’arte (another thing I can’t stand) – silly and slapstick, with sight gags and over the top performances. And a big part of it is audience reaction – they cheer, they boo the bad guys, they hiss, they oooh at romance, they shout “he’s behind you!”. I avoid pantos because they are super annoying and I don’t want to explode at children. God just thinking about pantos is giving me a skin rash all of a sudden. My blood boils at the thought that someone might make me go to one. So you can see it’s a big problem with interpretation that London audiences are treating “The King and I”, this golden age classic, even a little bit like they treat pantos.
And you can’t really blame the audiences for reacting like they’re at one (well you can, and I will, but it’s a little understandable) because the show itself is kind of weird. I never noticed it before, and I’m not sure why it was so glaring now, especially since the director (Barlett Sher) is the same as on Broadway. Maybe it takes a familiarity with the source material to finally get to that point where you can focus on just how strange it is. But the starkness with how this is presented – with none of the glitz or grandeur or sumptuousness of the previous production – exposes the problems of the book.
“The King and I” tells the story of Anna Leonowens, real life English lady who traveled to Siam to serve as a schoolteacher to the children of King Mongkut in the 1860s. One of Rodgers and Hammerstein’s most beloved works, the show includes familiar song after familiar song, and is so well known for a reason. The score is gorgeous and for the most part sounds great here. But the book falls flat. Okay so Anna and her son (will he ever not be annoying?) arrive in Siam and ask the King’s men where her house is. They tell her she is to stay at the palace. But the King had promised her her own house! She needs privacy! No one argues with the King (not YET), so she stays in the palace while she waits to talk to him about his promise. Um then in the next line we learn that more than a YEAR has gone by, and she’s still waiting but she loves the kids and loves teaching them and so you’re like well fun I guess I don’t mind too much that we made a huge time jump and wow we’re going to keep on making them. Discussion about her house seems to be like most of the first act. I get that it’s one aspect chosen to be representative of the communication barriers and the fact that independent women were foreign to this culture, but it seems like a lame thing to focus on. The King is always frustrated with this woman who keeps combating him at every turn, and Ken wins the audience over with his song “Puzzlement” even though you can’t really understand what he’s saying when it’s sooo fast. It’s honestly more difficult to understand than it was before but eh he’s such a good actor and he’s so winning in most of his book scenes.
Then we watch the two lovers, Lun Tha (Dean-John Wilson, in freaking everything it seems) and Tuptim (Na-Young Jeon) sing about how much they love each other but how they can only meet in the shadows because, well, Lun Tha brought Tuptim over from Burma as a gift to the King, so she is like one of his slave-wives now. Why they didn’t just flee before he presented her as a gift to the king is beyond me. Also what is he still doing in town years after delivering her? They both sing the roles decently, although both cracked a few times. Their voices might not be 100% fitted to these parts. I think Jeon’s upper register is still a little too weak for 8 shows a week and not to be mean but I missed Ashley Park’s incredible voice.
Anna’s relationship with the King stresses you out most of the time, because she isn’t afraid to speak her mind but he’s the King and is like no one fights with me! Et cetera! Et cetera! Oh so in the beginning Anna uses the phrase ‘et cetera’ and the King is like WHAT IS THIS YOU SAY and she explains what it means and so then EVERY SINGLE FUCKING LINE from then on the King uses it and for the first few times it’s funny but then at the 10th time it is infuriating and by the 90th time he says it you are literally breathing fire. It is so annoying Hammerstein! Literally my least favorite decision Hams has ever made.
Anna also has a very tense relationship with his Wife #1, Lady Thiang (Naoko Mori) and strives to win her over even though Lady Thiang is intermittently jealous and encouraging Anna and the King to become closer. It’s never comprehensible why she would want that. Mori is fine as Thiang, but she doesn’t bring anything more to the role than how it is written. Which is fine – no one ever really can bring more to what’s written simply by using their acting and singing skills. No one except Ruthie Ann Miles, that is, the Lady Thiang from Broadway who won the Tony for her performance. She was supposed to be in this production – and the production itself refuses to say that she isn’t in it even though, well, she’s not (she’s still in the programme and the website and everything but she isn’t in it) – but she had to take time to herself due to her personal tragedy. It was an honor to see her performance on Broadway, and seeing this show again made me realize just how astonishing she is, turning what is usually just a whatever role into a fully fleshed out character whose motivations were clear and understandable for the first time.
So the big drama of Act II is that an English diplomat is going to visit from Singapore and bring other hoity Englishmen, and the Siamese have to use this visit to convince them how great they are SO THE ENGLISH DON’T TAKE THEM OVER. Yeah so England was threatening to take over Siam as a protectorate, and everyone, literally everyone, just accepts that the burden is on the Siamese to prove that they aren’t barbarians and so the British, um, shouldn’t take them over. It’s so f-ing weird, and no one even mentions the thought that decent people first have, which is, why is it on them to convince the whites that they are decent people so the whites don’t steal their land? If you were unfamiliar with the show, you would surely expect that Anna’s whole purpose as an intermediary between the two parties would be to take the opportunity to say ‘hey wait a minute old British friends. These people shouldn’t have to prove to you that they are worthy of KEEPING THEIR COUNTRY AND FREEDOM! And isn’t it patently obvious that the people threatening to takeover another land and their inhabitants would be the real barbarians?’ No, no one says any of this. They have to prove that they are western-friendly, and that’s that. I get that it’s old-fashioned but surely people have always been able to see that taking over other lands is wrong? no?
So they prepare for this important visit by dressing everyone in Western garb and singing the moooost racist song. But it works out because Tuptim reads her play based on Uncle Tom’s Cabin, called ‘Small House of Uncle Thomas’, and they do a TWENTY MINUTE BALLET ABOUT IT and honestly it’s the best most amazing thing to have in a big musical because WHAAAT. It’s so f-ing random and amazing and we’ve been singing “Tricky little Topsy!” all day err day. SO RANDOM. Well it’s not too random, the story at least, because Tuptim is a slave and she’s narrating a play directly at the King about how bad slavery is and how evil King Simon of Legree (the best) was to poor Eliza (run Eliza run! run Eliza run! erma it’s amazing). But having this crazy 20 minute ballet about it is pretty damn ballsy to put in the middle of a musical and it’s so good. I’m obsessed. I love the choreography of this ballet, with Eliza running away by hopping on one foot. Anyway Buddha saves Eliza and then the lovers meet again and discuss how Anna always helped them meet by going out in the courtyard or whatever with them and you’re like huh we never saw that, that’s weird to just mention like that instead of ever showing I mean we’ve had three hours to do so. They decide to run away. And then Anna and the King have a beautiful dance (“Shall We Dance”) and seem to be friends and there’s also a weird spark there and you’re like holy crap that’s powerful but that’s kind of not the show I want to see and then the guards bring in Tuptim who escaped and they’re like we’re gonna kill her now and Anna is like no you’re a barbarian and everyone cries and Anna decides to leave Siam for good (but the veg fest…) but then the King has heart sadness and is dying from Anna calling him a barbarian so Anna decides to stay. What. Et cetera.
The book is kind of frustrating, as you could tell from my repeated stabbing of the capslock key, and the pacing feels off. At least a good twenty minutes could have and should have been cut (but not my Uncle Tom ballet! Never!). I don’t remember this show ever feeling as long, and unnecessarily so. It is a satisfactory production, but it isn’t the magical splendor I remember. Well, except for the performance of our Anna Leonowens. As Miss Anna, O’Hara’s performance seems like it has been marinating for the past three years because it’s even more nuanced, touching, and gorgeous than it was before – and she deservedly won a Tony for it before. I am not surprised, because she is the best working soprano in musical theatre today, but I didn’t even realize how much more realized her performance could be. It’s a marvel and it’s worth sitting through the three hours of sometimes-nonsense to witness her thrilling performance. Her “Hello Young Lovers” is the best sung moment I’ve ever heard in this city. Yep I said it and I will fight you on that. Truly, as much as I’m complaining about this production, and as horrible as the audience was, I will absolutely be returning to watch Kelli perform. She’s a triumph.
INFORMATION
The Palladium Theatre is a real POS. The toilets are near the entrance, on the other side of the huge lobby and bar area. And even though there are so many hallways and rooms and corners, everything feels squashed together. It’s a real claustrophobic place, outside the actual auditorium. The auditorium is at least airier, but it’s the wrong theatre from this show. I think it benefits from a thrust stage and this kind of shirty proscenium stage does nothing for this production.
AUDIENCE
Just expect the worst and you won’t be disappointed. Well you will be disappointed, in humanity, but you won’t be surprised. Aside from the panto reactions (oh I forgot, they also enjoyed clapping along to the music), we also had parents and children just flat-out talking, loudly, to each other the whole time. One 10-year-old ish girl in our row was having the worst time, and she kept asking her mother if they could leave. Instead of taking her out, which she should have done, the mother kept fishing around her bags to give her kid more and more food – all wrapped in the noisiest plastic you could imagine. Literally without even a moment’s pause, this happened for three straight hours. Aside from that kid, this was a different situation in that most of the trouble came from older people, when usually people our age are the worst. There was one older lady who was playing with paper the whole time, like balling it up, and it was actually so loud and she had no idea because she couldn’t really hear anyway. Omg there’s that skin rash.
STAGE DOOR
Speaking of how much of a POS this theatre is, the security staff at stage door had NOOO idea what was happening. After everyone had lined up, the guards then brought out barriers and made everyone re-line up behind them. Why weren’t they out at the start of things, she asks not expecting anyone to ever have a good enough answer. Right away Ken came out, skipped the beginning of the line of course, where I was, signed a few programs, and left. Then the guards announced that that was it. They went through all that trouble just for Ken? Ughh I was so upset that no one else was coming out. The guards broke down the barriers and told everyone to go home. I waited a minute just to be sure, and literally one minute later the entire cast came out. What the actual fuck. These guards were SO DUMB. But I got to freak out Kelli again as I always do so that was fun/humiliating. Et cetera.
And you can’t really blame the audiences for reacting like they’re at one (well you can, and I will, but it’s a little understandable) because the show itself is kind of weird. I never noticed it before, and I’m not sure why it was so glaring now, especially since the director (Barlett Sher) is the same as on Broadway. Maybe it takes a familiarity with the source material to finally get to that point where you can focus on just how strange it is. But the starkness with how this is presented – with none of the glitz or grandeur or sumptuousness of the previous production – exposes the problems of the book.
“The King and I” tells the story of Anna Leonowens, real life English lady who traveled to Siam to serve as a schoolteacher to the children of King Mongkut in the 1860s. One of Rodgers and Hammerstein’s most beloved works, the show includes familiar song after familiar song, and is so well known for a reason. The score is gorgeous and for the most part sounds great here. But the book falls flat. Okay so Anna and her son (will he ever not be annoying?) arrive in Siam and ask the King’s men where her house is. They tell her she is to stay at the palace. But the King had promised her her own house! She needs privacy! No one argues with the King (not YET), so she stays in the palace while she waits to talk to him about his promise. Um then in the next line we learn that more than a YEAR has gone by, and she’s still waiting but she loves the kids and loves teaching them and so you’re like well fun I guess I don’t mind too much that we made a huge time jump and wow we’re going to keep on making them. Discussion about her house seems to be like most of the first act. I get that it’s one aspect chosen to be representative of the communication barriers and the fact that independent women were foreign to this culture, but it seems like a lame thing to focus on. The King is always frustrated with this woman who keeps combating him at every turn, and Ken wins the audience over with his song “Puzzlement” even though you can’t really understand what he’s saying when it’s sooo fast. It’s honestly more difficult to understand than it was before but eh he’s such a good actor and he’s so winning in most of his book scenes.
Then we watch the two lovers, Lun Tha (Dean-John Wilson, in freaking everything it seems) and Tuptim (Na-Young Jeon) sing about how much they love each other but how they can only meet in the shadows because, well, Lun Tha brought Tuptim over from Burma as a gift to the King, so she is like one of his slave-wives now. Why they didn’t just flee before he presented her as a gift to the king is beyond me. Also what is he still doing in town years after delivering her? They both sing the roles decently, although both cracked a few times. Their voices might not be 100% fitted to these parts. I think Jeon’s upper register is still a little too weak for 8 shows a week and not to be mean but I missed Ashley Park’s incredible voice.
Anna’s relationship with the King stresses you out most of the time, because she isn’t afraid to speak her mind but he’s the King and is like no one fights with me! Et cetera! Et cetera! Oh so in the beginning Anna uses the phrase ‘et cetera’ and the King is like WHAT IS THIS YOU SAY and she explains what it means and so then EVERY SINGLE FUCKING LINE from then on the King uses it and for the first few times it’s funny but then at the 10th time it is infuriating and by the 90th time he says it you are literally breathing fire. It is so annoying Hammerstein! Literally my least favorite decision Hams has ever made.
Anna also has a very tense relationship with his Wife #1, Lady Thiang (Naoko Mori) and strives to win her over even though Lady Thiang is intermittently jealous and encouraging Anna and the King to become closer. It’s never comprehensible why she would want that. Mori is fine as Thiang, but she doesn’t bring anything more to the role than how it is written. Which is fine – no one ever really can bring more to what’s written simply by using their acting and singing skills. No one except Ruthie Ann Miles, that is, the Lady Thiang from Broadway who won the Tony for her performance. She was supposed to be in this production – and the production itself refuses to say that she isn’t in it even though, well, she’s not (she’s still in the programme and the website and everything but she isn’t in it) – but she had to take time to herself due to her personal tragedy. It was an honor to see her performance on Broadway, and seeing this show again made me realize just how astonishing she is, turning what is usually just a whatever role into a fully fleshed out character whose motivations were clear and understandable for the first time.
So the big drama of Act II is that an English diplomat is going to visit from Singapore and bring other hoity Englishmen, and the Siamese have to use this visit to convince them how great they are SO THE ENGLISH DON’T TAKE THEM OVER. Yeah so England was threatening to take over Siam as a protectorate, and everyone, literally everyone, just accepts that the burden is on the Siamese to prove that they aren’t barbarians and so the British, um, shouldn’t take them over. It’s so f-ing weird, and no one even mentions the thought that decent people first have, which is, why is it on them to convince the whites that they are decent people so the whites don’t steal their land? If you were unfamiliar with the show, you would surely expect that Anna’s whole purpose as an intermediary between the two parties would be to take the opportunity to say ‘hey wait a minute old British friends. These people shouldn’t have to prove to you that they are worthy of KEEPING THEIR COUNTRY AND FREEDOM! And isn’t it patently obvious that the people threatening to takeover another land and their inhabitants would be the real barbarians?’ No, no one says any of this. They have to prove that they are western-friendly, and that’s that. I get that it’s old-fashioned but surely people have always been able to see that taking over other lands is wrong? no?
So they prepare for this important visit by dressing everyone in Western garb and singing the moooost racist song. But it works out because Tuptim reads her play based on Uncle Tom’s Cabin, called ‘Small House of Uncle Thomas’, and they do a TWENTY MINUTE BALLET ABOUT IT and honestly it’s the best most amazing thing to have in a big musical because WHAAAT. It’s so f-ing random and amazing and we’ve been singing “Tricky little Topsy!” all day err day. SO RANDOM. Well it’s not too random, the story at least, because Tuptim is a slave and she’s narrating a play directly at the King about how bad slavery is and how evil King Simon of Legree (the best) was to poor Eliza (run Eliza run! run Eliza run! erma it’s amazing). But having this crazy 20 minute ballet about it is pretty damn ballsy to put in the middle of a musical and it’s so good. I’m obsessed. I love the choreography of this ballet, with Eliza running away by hopping on one foot. Anyway Buddha saves Eliza and then the lovers meet again and discuss how Anna always helped them meet by going out in the courtyard or whatever with them and you’re like huh we never saw that, that’s weird to just mention like that instead of ever showing I mean we’ve had three hours to do so. They decide to run away. And then Anna and the King have a beautiful dance (“Shall We Dance”) and seem to be friends and there’s also a weird spark there and you’re like holy crap that’s powerful but that’s kind of not the show I want to see and then the guards bring in Tuptim who escaped and they’re like we’re gonna kill her now and Anna is like no you’re a barbarian and everyone cries and Anna decides to leave Siam for good (but the veg fest…) but then the King has heart sadness and is dying from Anna calling him a barbarian so Anna decides to stay. What. Et cetera.
The book is kind of frustrating, as you could tell from my repeated stabbing of the capslock key, and the pacing feels off. At least a good twenty minutes could have and should have been cut (but not my Uncle Tom ballet! Never!). I don’t remember this show ever feeling as long, and unnecessarily so. It is a satisfactory production, but it isn’t the magical splendor I remember. Well, except for the performance of our Anna Leonowens. As Miss Anna, O’Hara’s performance seems like it has been marinating for the past three years because it’s even more nuanced, touching, and gorgeous than it was before – and she deservedly won a Tony for it before. I am not surprised, because she is the best working soprano in musical theatre today, but I didn’t even realize how much more realized her performance could be. It’s a marvel and it’s worth sitting through the three hours of sometimes-nonsense to witness her thrilling performance. Her “Hello Young Lovers” is the best sung moment I’ve ever heard in this city. Yep I said it and I will fight you on that. Truly, as much as I’m complaining about this production, and as horrible as the audience was, I will absolutely be returning to watch Kelli perform. She’s a triumph.
INFORMATION
The Palladium Theatre is a real POS. The toilets are near the entrance, on the other side of the huge lobby and bar area. And even though there are so many hallways and rooms and corners, everything feels squashed together. It’s a real claustrophobic place, outside the actual auditorium. The auditorium is at least airier, but it’s the wrong theatre from this show. I think it benefits from a thrust stage and this kind of shirty proscenium stage does nothing for this production.
AUDIENCE
Just expect the worst and you won’t be disappointed. Well you will be disappointed, in humanity, but you won’t be surprised. Aside from the panto reactions (oh I forgot, they also enjoyed clapping along to the music), we also had parents and children just flat-out talking, loudly, to each other the whole time. One 10-year-old ish girl in our row was having the worst time, and she kept asking her mother if they could leave. Instead of taking her out, which she should have done, the mother kept fishing around her bags to give her kid more and more food – all wrapped in the noisiest plastic you could imagine. Literally without even a moment’s pause, this happened for three straight hours. Aside from that kid, this was a different situation in that most of the trouble came from older people, when usually people our age are the worst. There was one older lady who was playing with paper the whole time, like balling it up, and it was actually so loud and she had no idea because she couldn’t really hear anyway. Omg there’s that skin rash.
STAGE DOOR
Speaking of how much of a POS this theatre is, the security staff at stage door had NOOO idea what was happening. After everyone had lined up, the guards then brought out barriers and made everyone re-line up behind them. Why weren’t they out at the start of things, she asks not expecting anyone to ever have a good enough answer. Right away Ken came out, skipped the beginning of the line of course, where I was, signed a few programs, and left. Then the guards announced that that was it. They went through all that trouble just for Ken? Ughh I was so upset that no one else was coming out. The guards broke down the barriers and told everyone to go home. I waited a minute just to be sure, and literally one minute later the entire cast came out. What the actual fuck. These guards were SO DUMB. But I got to freak out Kelli again as I always do so that was fun/humiliating. Et cetera.
