30 Rock’s Cheesy Blasters: I Made Them!

October 30, 2013

Hi everyone! So I know I said that I was going to make the Cheesy Blasters from “30 Rock” for you on here, but instead I made them for HelloGiggles.com! Please don’t be mad; just go read about it! And enjoy! They were SO good. But they look even less appetizing than the English Trifle, huh?

Read about the Cheesy Blasters and pay homage to Liz Lemon here!

Delicious Baked Polenta, Two Glorious Ways!

December 30, 2014

I can never have enough polenta. Isn’t it the best? It’s so cheap, it’s super easy to play with, and it’s Italian. Most importantly, it’s insanely versatile. You can make it straight for a plain side dish, fry up ready-made pieces, use it for dessert, and bake it in a pan with a variety of interesting toppings. Like a pizza or flatbread!
Recently, I went to London’s polenta-based restaurant called La Polentaria (review coming soon). I loved that polenta was front and center for all the dishes (obviously). I also loved that the walls had interesting information about polenta, like that it has more protein per serving than an egg! (So the wall said. I am not checking because I want that to be true.) Here are two recipes, one for a cheesy mushroom baked polenta casserole-sort-of thing, and one for classic polenta bruschetta. Both dishes would be great for entertaining company, although I prefer to hoard the entire casserole pan myself.

First, the bruschetta! Lots of bruschetta will use a raw tomato and garlic mixture, but that’s nothing special, really. If you want that, you can easily just chop up some tomatoes and mix with garlic and basil and olive oil. Easy peasy. But it’s winter so I wanted a warm cooked tomato topping. It really pays off to make your own and not use store-bought tomato sauce or any crap like that. I mean you could; you can put literally anything edible on top of hardened polenta and it would be delectable. But when it comes to sauce, this is the way to do it.

POLENTA BRUSCHETTA
Remember: it’s a hard ‘k’ sound. None of this ‘shetta’ bullshit.

Ingredients:

1 cup dry polenta/corn meal
2 1/2 to 3 cups water
1 tablespoon olive oil
4 cloves garlic, minced
1 pint cherry or grape tomatoes
1 cup loose fresh basil leaves (like a small bunch), and about 10 leaves reserved
1/4 cup olive oil, halved
2 teaspoons tomato paste
1 teaspoon salt
1/4 cup water
black pepper

Directions:

First, make the polenta. In a saucepan, mix the polenta, 1T olive oil, and water and bring to a boil, stirring constantly. As soon as it starts bubbling, turn the heat to medium and stir constantly like really I mean it. Stir and cook until it starts to thicken, about 5 minutes. If it feels too thick, add more water. It should be thick but still pourable.
Pour the polenta into a casserole dish, about 6×6 or 8×4 or something medium sized. Set aside.
Now to make the bruschetta topping. In a saucepan over medium heat, saute half the olive oil and all the garlic for a few minutes. Add the salt.
This is the fun part. Take your tomatoes and squeeze and tear and demolish them over the pan and drop them in. Just tear those little mofos apart into a few pieces each. Keep stirring.
Add 1/4 cup of water. Mix and stir.
Add the tomato paste and the 1 cup of basil. You’ll probably need the rest of the olive oil here to prevent sticking.
Bring to a boil, then bring down to a simmer and cook for 15-20 minutes until reduced. If it reduces too fast/gets sticky, add more water and turn your heat down lower.
Good time to preheat your oven to 300F.
Your final product should not be sticky but it should be spreadable and thick. Add the 10 reserved fresh basil leaves and the black pepper and stir through. Check for salt.
Pour the tomato topping over the prepared polenta in the pan. Bake in the oven for 10-15 minutes.
Let sit for a good 10 minutes. The polenta should be hard and crispy on the edges, and you should be able to pick up squares with your hands.

hahaha this is the longest picture ever I love it

I ran out of pictures

Next up, we have a ridiculously addictive vegan-cheese topped mushroom casserole. I never buy vegan cheese like ever, but all this talk about the new Field Roast Chao slices over in Murka has made me quite envious. But apparently, the UK’s best vegan cheese, Violife, is just like the Chao stuff! So I bought it. And it is soooo gooooood. It asked me to be used over a homemade pizza but come on I can’t plan weeknight dinner long enough in advance to account for rising yeast dough. Ain’t nobody got time for that! So instead this is kind of like a polenta pizza! It even has my favorite pizza topping: mushrooms! I also threw on cannellini beans because I love beans.

Cheesy Mushroom & White Bean Polenta Casserole

Ingredients:

1 1/2 cups dry polenta/corn meal
4 cups water
1 1/2 teaspoons salt
1 tablespoon olive oil
black pepper
1 pint mushrooms, sliced (about 2 cups loose)
1/4 cup fresh parsley leaves
1 tablespoon olive oil
1 cup cannellini/white beans
1/3 cup grated vegan cheese (I used Violife and I love it forever now)

Directions:

First, make the polenta. In a saucepan, mix the polenta, olive oil, and 3 cups of water and bring to a boil, stirring constantly. As soon as it starts bubbling, turn the heat to medium and stir constantly. Stir and cook until it starts to thicken, about 5 minutes. Add the 4th cup of water if it feels too thick. It should be pourable.
Pour the polenta into a medium-sized casserole dish. It should be quite deep, because polenta in this casserole stays soft.
Preheat your oven to 300F.
Arrange your mushrooms evenly over the polenta. Spread the beans and the parsley as well.
Now spread the grated cheese over the pan evenly. Add some freshly ground black pepper.
Bake for 15-20 minutes. Let sit for 10.
Enjoyyyy!

Nutty Protein-Packed Homemade Granola! So Easy!

December 9, 2014

How many of you bake during the winter months just to make the house warmer? Here in London, it’s more of a necessity than a quirky activity. They didn’t get the memo on windows here so there’s like a good centimeter of separation between windows and frames. Cold air blows in all the time and you’re like, man alive turn on the oven or something.
But cookies? Those jerks only take 10 minutes or less in the oven. PASS! Cakes? Who am I making cakes for? Muffins are just bread with sugar and I’d rather eat my bread without sugar (and with hummus). Kale chips? Am I the only vegan who prefers kale raw (or any other way) to chippified? What can I make that’s feasible and that takes a long time so I have maximum oven usage? GRANOLA!

Yes, granola is the easiest, best way to run your oven for at least an hour. Also, you actually want to eat the final product. And it’s healthy! This version I made uses nut butters as its main wet ingredient, and it works great as a binder. Add chia seeds, hemp seeds, and protein powder, you’ve got a power-giving snack that’s perfect for any time of day. I liked using unflavored rice protein in this recipe, mostly because it is too pasty to use in my smoothies. Also, I used puffed millet as my cereal. It’s great because the puffs are teeny tiny, almost like puffed quinoa. So just make sure you choose a cereal that’s on the small side. You don’t want huge puffed buckwheat or something that’s going to be significantly bigger than an oat.
Ingredients on the small side plus a superb wet ingredient mix based in nut butter will ensure that you get lots of big crunchy clusters instead of sad granola-flavored crumbs. As with all granola recipes, this is really more of a guide that you can play around with to suit to your preferences. Add chocolate chips! Or cocoa powder! Or use chocolate-hazelnut spread! Or add something non-chocolate. But that seems like a move in the wrong direction.

POWER PUNCH GRANOLA

I love mixing different nut butters with date syrup for the main binder. Date syrup adds a dark, deep flavor that you don’t get when you use regular liquid sweeteners alone. Try half the amount of molasses if you don’t have date syrup.

Ingredients:

1/2 generous cup peanut butter
1/3 cup almond butter
2 tablespoons date syrup (or other dark syrup)
1/4 cup agave syrup (or maple syrup, but what are you made of money?)
2 teaspoons vanilla paste
2 tablespoons unflavored rice/pea/hemp protein powder (or protein powder of choice)
2 tablespoons ground flax seed
16g chia seeds (you know I don’t know grams, but I used two ‘Chia Shots’ which are 8g each. Just use 2 tablespoons or something)
1/4 cup dried fruit of choice
1/2 cup hemp seeds
1/4 cup unsweetened coconut flakes
1 + 1/2 cups rolled oats
1 + 1/2 cups puffed cereal

Directions:

Preheat the oven to 140 degrees Celsius which I have to use now. It’s just under 300 Fahrenheit.
In a large bowl, mix the wet ingredients together. If, like me, you store your nut butters in the fridge, you might need a generous splash of water to help blend that well. If your nut butters are runny, you’ll prob be okay.
Add the dry ingredients one by one, and mix everything with all your might. Save the oats and cereal for last. That’s why I wrote them last!
Drop onto a parchment-lined baking sheet and distribute evenly. It shouldn’t be one cohesive square like you’re making bars or anything, but keep big pieces together so you’ll have clusters.
Bake for an hour! Check on it every so often to make sure it’s not burning. If it is, your oven is probably too hot. You might see in other recipes that you should toss your granola halfway through, but letting it lie untouched is the best way to get big clusters.
After an hour, turn off the oven and let it sit in there for another hour. This way, every time you check on it and steal bits, you get a wave of heat.
Cool completely and store in an airtight container. People love showing their granola stored in fancy oversized mason jars that have those swingy clips. If you’d like to see mine in such a container, please buy me one.
Wheee!!!