Challenge Accepted: Marshmallow-less Rice Krispie Treats
When making Rice Krispie treats, the important thing is to make some kind of glue to hold the cereal together. Melted marshmallows do this very well, we know. But do you know what else can make a great gluey substance? Nut butters melted with liquid sweetener. Once you get this basic aspect down, you can play with it in all kinds of ways depending on what you’re in the mood for, or even just what you have on hand. No brown rice syrup? Agave or maple syrup will work! No cashew butter? Peanut butter, Speculoos, almond butter, hazelnut butter…you pretty much can’t go wrong with substitutes. In fact, I would have gone with cashew butter when making these, but I’m all out, hence today’s treats are peanut buttery. I also decided to make them chocolatey, because when you have the option of chocotizing something, you take it.
This recipe is a rough guide of what I did today, rough because you can really do whatever you want in terms of ingredients and amounts and it’ll probably be delicious. I used a mix of all 3 types of sweeteners, but it will work with just one (though all agave might be too sweet). I was also just using peanut butter, but then halfway through I smacked my head and said “What are you doing!” and added some Speculoos. Because duh.
MARSHMALLOW-LESS RICE KRISPIE TREATS
Ingredients:
Directions:
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London’s Just V Show: Like a Less Glutinous VegFest With Equally Crazy People
However, this hodgepodge was incredibly enjoyable, confusing as it was. Even though the Vegan Society was there (having helped ensure that the event as a whole would be very vegan-friendly), it was not a VegFest, and so the usual suspects of raucous pushers, overeager crowders, and animalistic sample-raiders were missing in their usual overbearing numbers. Halleloos! It made for a much more manageable event, calmer and less intimidating yet just as fun for the rational-minded not-as-pushy cruelty-freers as any VegFest in London has been.
I’ll review my day in sections, starting with the extremes to get those scary things out of the way first.
I Go to Extremes like Billy: Two Bests and Two Worsts
My Two Faves of all time OF ALL TIME (of all weekend) were WAIT not EVEN of all weekend because I had two bestever HOUSE GUESTS! but definitely faves of this fest and maybe any vegfest kind of thing, actually! were obviously both dessert-oriented, as I am. That was some sentence for your poor brain to follow. So my favorite new company discovered at Just V was Loving Earth Chocolate, a raw organic chocolate company, big in Australia and sure to take over the market here (they are new to the UK). I don’t know how this is raw, because it just tasted like regular non-raw/non-weird hard chocolate. And the texture! Perfection! Nothing like that slimy soft wackadoodleness that lots of raw chocolate resembles. I was so impressed, and that was before we learned from their reps all about how ethical and upstanding this company is. The cocoa is fair trade, and is even on the very reputable, very legit Food Empowerment Project list, which only recommends buying from companies that are fair trade and free from child labor and slavery. Cocoa is a seriously important thing to make sure you buy ethically! Then the Loving Earth reps told us the packaging is even made from vegetable ink to make sure it’s vegan and like, everything they said was just red underlined 100 emoji. So great! All the samples were delicious, thick with the cocoa butter feel and wonderful. My favorite from my home stash has been the caramel, a white-ish bar with the best texture in the entire world (I think it is just pure cocoa butter, possibly. Send more!) Hooray!
So those were my bests, how about my bads? Sadly, they both came from companies I like, but their representatives were so off-putting that they stuck out as the worst parts of the day! I mean, really, this shows how great the day was, because these aren’t like, oh I lost a toe levels of bad, but just really annoying experiences. The runnerup winner/loser is a lady from Ruby Bakery. My fest companion bought a thing, and then we asked if we could take pictures, and did. Brash lady came up close and was like yelling, “You’ll put them on instagram right??” and we were like, uhh, maybe. And she said, equally loudly, “What do you take them for if not for instagram!!!” and we were just like…um…first of all please take a step back, second of all, people took pictures for all kinds of reasons before instagram was invented…right?? Right? Am I misremembering what life was like before phone apps? Cameras existed before last year, right? Anyway here is some proof that pictures aren’t only for instagram.
First-place winner/loser champion was from a company I like even more, Plamil. One of their reps was tolerable at first, talking to us about some new products, but then it got out of control. He started going off about the history of veganism in the UK and how this company began many years ago, all without even noticing that we were trying to walk away. I was even waiting with chocolate in my hand ready to buy! But instead of letting me give them money, he then started railing about how the Vegan Society got soft and lets companies use their symbol that don’t deserve their recognition, and about how NO OTHER PRODUCTS EXCEPT FOR PLAMIL’S can really EVER be considered vegan because of trace contaminants and we were just standing there for WAY TOO LONG like, Hey Mr. Mansplainer trying to tell two intelligent long-time vegans in their 30s about the RIGHT WAY TO BE VEGAN, can we please step away from you and your overbearing demeanor now please? It was seriously like ten minutes of our time wasted, plus a lot of our mental energy expelled trying to stay polite. I waste too much energy trying to be polite when other people aren’t.
& Am Grateful For
The big, basic (and no don’t mean basic like how the kids are using it these days (me too) like with disdain about how someone isn’t cool enough, I mean like the regular definition of a word in our lexicon) point of a VegFest, for me anyway (and for others given how many stalls are devoted to it), is bar stocking. Not that kind of bar stocking. I mean protein bars, energy bars, granola bars. I had a gay ol’ time stocking up on my work snack bars, my travel bars, my leg day extra protein needed bars, &c. Bars bars bars. Trek, Nakd, and Nature’s Path – the standards – were there, thank goodness. The Nature’s Path rep was the nicest lady and gave us a free granola bar each! Trek and Nakd always have incredible deals at these Fests, and for people like me who buy them retail all the time it’s like Chrimble. And their sample setup is brilliant: the boxes of each flavor are set out on big tables with big bowls of that flavor crumbled up in front of it, so if you like that flavor, you grab the bar behind it to buy. It’s really simple and quite astounding that others haven’t figured out how to run this as well.
I ROLL MY EYES AT EVERY VEGFEST OH NO MY EYES
SO. Here we are. I decided to go for three ‘shots’ from the ‘juice’ options listed ‘above’. I went for turmeric, chili and lime, and aloe vera. Yes, these were just pure juiced version of these ingredients. Not mixed with anything else. No fillers, no soothing agents, no mitigating circumstances. The lady who was juicing me was sort-of laughing the entire time at me because I think I was one of the few patrons all day to choose pure turmeric and pure chili pepper juice.
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Here are some action shots, courtesy of Jojo, who I think is still shaking her head at me but who definitely helped keep me from falling when my legs gave out.
AND THE BEST DISPLAY SET-UP
GET IT H IS FOR HAUL I DIDN’T EVEN PLAN THAT!
Dinner at the new fully vegan Alter London
This week, we had dinner – out – in a restaurant – for the first time since, well, you know. All this shiz. It was our wedding anniversary, so a fairly decent reason to risk our lives for a great meal, I guess. Last week or so I wrote about our return to the theatre, and how thank god it was a great show because if we’d risked our health and well-being for a piece of shit we’d be really mad. Well, same for this wonderful dinner. Alter, the latest hottest all-vegan restaurant in London’s ever-increasing vegan scene, delivered the goods, and I cannot wait to go back and try the rest of the menu.
Alter is the brainchild of chef Andy Hogben, who has cooked at several trendy place and has done a number of popular pop-ups in recent years and finally has a restaurant just a few blocks from my flat (the most important detail). Fun fact, a few years ago, he did a special dinner at The Frog Hoxton that we had tickets to, and then I got sick (pre-Covid), so husbo went with a friend and sent me pictures and it was torture. I was all (Sherie Rene Scott impression coming) “thissss shoulda been myyy tiiiime” but finally MY TIME HAS COME.
Alter’s whole concept reflects Andy’s sort of veganism (which is I think fairly recent? I could be wrong, it’s happened before, also what is time) – less focused on meat substitutes and the kind of “fun” food we find in abundance as a result of London’s obsession with vegan junk food bars. The menu focuses instead on fascinating flavor combinations from various cultures, especially those that are Not British. It’s very Thai-Malaysian-Chinese-other South Asian fusiony made hipster but in a great way. As my tastes go more towards vegetables than burgers, this is my kind of place for sure. Also, husbo and I debate a lot over the very stupid topic of ‘if you had only one cuisine to eat for the rest of your life what would it be’ and we usually narrow it down to Chinese and a few South Asian contenders, so this combo of all the bests really speaks to us.
Okay enough rambling. You know how much we love overordering, and if there were maybe 2 fewer items on the menu we prob would have just been like ‘BRING US ONE OF EVERYTHING’ which was my family’s favorite pastime at V Street in Philly (RIP). (Good thing we didn’t; we still brought leftovers home.) Instead, we finally decided on 3 from Column A (the small bites), 3 from Column B (the starter sizes), and 1 from Column C (the mains). Most of the dishes are shareable, or everything is if you’re with someone you don’t have to stand on ceremony with. I think we ordered a good amount, but there are a few changes I’d make for next time.
COLUMN A
Our superb waitress (thankfully wearing a mask, although the too loud music made it hard to hear her despite how hard she was trying to yell; please lower the music so your staff doesn’t go hoarse! (also we couldn’t really hear each other either and we are NOT OLD I SWEAR)) recommended the Kung Pao crackers, so we got those as well as the rice-fermented mustard green miang laos and the salted watermelon and coconut miang khams. Now I don’t know what miang means and it seems important, so I’m going to look it up: Oh just as I predicted it means FORKING DELICIOUS LITTLE PIECE OF HEAVEN.
Let’s start with the salted watermelon miangs, because they were my favorite. Well, everything is my favorite here. But I really loved these because, if you have ever eaten with me, you know my favorite kind of food is food that I can put in a raw leaf of some kind. You might think that limits things but I have put literally every food on lettuce, no joke. Anyway, this little parcel of goodness was I think a betel leaf? or like that? because it reminded me sooo much of all the best things we ate in Burma all those years ago. Luckily, unlike the great things I ate in Burma, this little leaf jawn did not make me sick for 3 days in a hotel room on stilts on a lake. Anyway, they were AMAZING.
Next up to bat, the Kung Pao crackers were also incredible. I was picturing those little soy-sauce-flavored rice crackers that taste like salt but also cardboard, so I clearly had no idea what was coming. This lovely light rice cracker was filled with shredded green stuff and white stuff and flavor wondrousness, honestly I have no idea but it was SO GOOD. Along with this, they sent out extra treats of rice patties topped with spicy goodness, again, no idea what it is, just put it in your gd mouth.
The little miang laos balls were also like my favorite thing of putting food on a green leaf but instead of an open taco, it was all wrapped up neatly. Thanks friend! This was cold, which I didn’t expect, and a nice contrast from the other bites. I think this was super spicy too? and delicious, I know that much. Guys, I’m sorry, I did not take notes, I forgot that that helps, it’s been so long, also I was too busy trying not to freak out about the celebrity behind me (see below).
COLUMN B
(You know with these headings I’m singing Aladdin, right? good. Next time I will take the Genie’s advice and try all of Column B.)
After our plates of bites, allllll the rest of our dishes came at once, which was a struggle for our tiny little table, a struggle we know quite well due to our aforementioned sublime ordering skills, but a struggle that could be avoided if things were staggered a little. Maybe the naem het could have been served alone since it was like the true starter-y feel and the rest were super mains-y? Anyway, that dish – the crispy naem het with jaew (what did you call me) dressing and ‘erbs (their styling not mine) was a standout, and husbo’s fave of the night. IT WAS SO GOOD.
The crispy naem het was a birds nest mess of fried strands of things (mushrooms? stems?) that we couldn’t really discern from the waiter because of the music but whatever, it was delicious. You know I’m not the world’s biggest fan of fried food but this was ace. You take one of the raw green leaves (yesss), put some fried strands in it, add some of the fresh herbs, roll it up, and dip it in the sauce pot (and you got cheesy blasters, and then meatcat goes off in his um spaceship). At least we thought those were the instructions we were given – later, our waitress said something that made it seem like we had no idea what we were doing. Doesn’t matter, whether we did it right or wrong it was forking amazing. So much flavor, so many different flavors mixing together in a surprising and wonderful way. A must get!
Another absolute must-get is the charred jordan cabbage, with kolae coconut curry. This dish is only £9 and what a value – on a normal night eating at home, this dish alone would be enough for the two of us, maybe with some rice. I’m serious, that picture doesn’t show how big that hunk of cabbage is. Without a knife (only chopsticks and spoons on the table), I was worried that I would have to pick up an entire head of cabbage and bite into it head first while wearing a dress, but of course that wasn’t the case. The cabbage was so tender and the leaves separated at the touch of the chopsticks. This is the dish I am going to try to recreate at home, and fail miserably I’m sure.
The coconut curry that surrounded the cabbage was one of the best curries I’ve had. It was perfect in every way, salty but not too salty, coconutty in that great way but without any visible overpronunciation of coconut milk, just a surprisingly treaty, complex dish for something that seems so simple. I would truly pick this up every week and eat at home with rice.
We also really enjoyed the Chengdu street tofu, not that it was like any tofu we had on the streets in Chengdu (you couldn’t eat this and walk at the same time! also it didn’t burn our faces off!). It was a soupy dish that was best eaten with a spoon out of the bowl rather than putting on your own plate. The flavors were on the mellower side so the dish was almost comforting, like a soupy sales should be.
COLUMN C
The only disappointer was the Xi’an-style knife-cut noodles. It’s not that they were bad at all, they just were not impressive like everything else was. (Also the fact that they are ‘knife-cut’ isn’t really much of a selling point; I mean, you cut the dough with a knife instead of what, scissors? teeth?) The flavors didn’t really hit; the dish was sort of bland, a little plain. Maybe we are just spoiled because we actually had noodles in Xi’an (omg the Xi’an night market noodles…and the spicy tofu…and the fresh jackfruit…omg and that coconut milk…dammit now I’m remembering all this glory). But this dish, unlike all the others, was missing a punch. It was the only thing that wasn’t a ‘wow’. Of course it could be your fave dish, no harm no fowell (to quote Estelle), I guess we prefer noodles that burn our faces off (we really like things that burn our faces off). I’ve heard really great things about the laksa, so next time we will definitely be trying that instead.
Even though we were stuffed to the brim, we had to try the dessert. Alter has just one dessert, but it’s a good one – mango sticky rice.
This was a really lovely iteration of a classic, kind of saltier than normal but in a way that really really worked. And I am a sucker for edible flowers. So pretty! You can’t go wrong with mango sticky rice and this was delicious and the perfect size for sharing. Mango sticky rice is just the best, right? In Thailand, at the annual Vegetarian Festival, I had it from a cart that stored their cut-up mango next to their cut-up durian, so the scent of the durian, that overpowering devil’s anus scent, had infiltrated the taste of the mango. And it was still DELICIOUS.
So, overall, dinner at Alter was a huge win. I cannot wait to go back. It’s the kind of small plates fine vegan dining that London needed, one that focuses on flavors and vegetables rather than burgers and fries. It reminded me of a Michelin-starred restaurant we ate at in Cambodia that I can’t remember the name of. My god I am dropping a lot of travel brags in this post; I sound like a full-on Gwyneth, sorry I just miss traveling.
Alter is located inside the Leman Locke hotel, just south of Aldgate East tube station. There’s a cafe on the ground floor (with great sounding smoothies, which I live on even more than food wrapped in lettuce), and a spiral staircase (and elevators) up to the second floor (I’m sorry, “first floor”) where Alter is located. We actually had dinner in this space a few years ago but it was a different, less-entirely-vegan restaurant, so I hope Alter stays much longer – like forever. Because I’m gonna be a regular. (Well, within reason; I still am into hermit life.)
ALTER, ALDGATE EAST, LONDON, ENGLAND, UK, CRUMBLING WORLD
Water speed: They do the stupid thing nearly everyone does where their water glasses are freaking thimbles, but they give you the carafes and the waitress was EXCELLENT at refreshing our carafe. She had to do it at least 12 times because I drink so much, but I didn’t once need to dip into my liter in my purse, which is rare in restaurants so really speaks highly of her attention.
Service: Our waitress was great! Top marks.
Bathrooms: There are two single-serves through a hallway behind the bar. They are really spacious and modern and clean and they smelled so good that I took a picture of the fragrance stick jawn. It is SUPER confusing when you come out because there are doors on each side of the area but one is locked, so you will eventually find your way back to the restaurant space.
Food: Soooo good, a great new addition to London’s incredible scene, whether you’re vegan or in denial.
Bonus: Alfred Enoch was sitting behind us. If it’s good enough for celebrities it’s good enough for you! Everyone there was sooo hip and cool and it made us feel simultaneously not cool but also like we were getting cool by osmosis, which is interesting.