Lisbon, Portugal: Towers, Music, & Chestnuts for All by Randi / September 24, 2013
As we’ve studied the eating habits of the Friends over the past few weeks, what is the most important lesson we’ve learned? JOEY DOESN’T SHARE FOOD. Correct! In “The One With The Birth Mother”, in one of my favorite Joey storylines, he dates a woman (Annie Parisse) who does silly things like order plain salads but mooch off of Joey’s dinner. I agree with Joey on this one: Order the food you want to eat! (As long as it’s vegan, obvs.) Anyway, Annie (let’s just call her Annie) doesn’t really understand that it’s weird to take food off of someone else’s plate, at least without asking first. The conflict comes to a hilarious climax with Joey’s seafood platter dinner. He thinks he’s successfully distracted her with extra fries (which he is willing to share), but no such luck:
HAHA Joey at the end of the above video is MY FAVORITE EVER. Anyway! So, as you heard, the following conversation occurred:
Annie: (looks over at Joey’s platter) Oh wow, are those stuffed clams?
Joey: Uhhh.. yes, they are my stuffed clams.
Now, you’re probably thinking, “Hold on, woman. It says ‘stuffed clams’, not ‘fried clams.'” A few points:
- See his seafood platter plate, with all those little fried somethings? They look clam-sized, not shrimp-sized. (I know you see the actual stuffed clam in the shell later, but he could have had clams a few ways!)
- What do you think Joey would like better, something stuffed, or something fried? Correct.
So, we’re going to make fried clams. Much better idea, right? Who has food-grade seashells lying around?
Nori is not the best idea here
I generally used the homemade seitan recipe from The PPK blog, because it’s great. I ripped the seitan pieces into long strips, and boiled it in broth with seaweed and dill thrown in. I didn’t have any kombu, so I used nori in the broth. If you have kombu, use that, because the nori isn’t meant for boiling and it disintegrated. Messy seaweed. You can see in the picture, it gets kind of weird. Kombu would impart a stronger flavor anyway. After the strips boiled, I breaded them and baked them. Let’s see!
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FIRST, MAKE SEITAN
INGREDIENTS:
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DIRECTIONS:
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How weird does this look with the disintegrating nori! Don’t do it!
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THEN, BREAD THE STRIPS
INGREDIENTS:
Coated strips, ready for cooking These turned out really well! They might not be salty enough for you, but that’s what sauces are for. You can make a vegan tartar sauce by blending vegan mayo, mustard, pickle relish, and capers, or you can just use ketchup. Really, any kind of sauce works here. An amazing thing I might do tomorrow with the leftovers is to mix vegan mayo with sriracha and a drop of Frank’s for a crazy spicy orange mayo like the type that comes with sushi rolls.
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DIRECTIONS:
It makes a lot! Dayum! |
Now, with your sauces ready, your strips crunchy and baked (or fried if you are awesome), you can enjoy them on a plate, as Joey did in this episode. ORRR, you can honor Mr. Joseph Francis Tribbiani even more, and make a sandwich! Because what is Joey’s favorite food? Say it with me: Sandwiches!!!
It’s aliiiiive! |
Not bad for my first try |
In sandwich form, I’d definitely recommend tartar sauce and whatever else fried-clams-on-rolls are usually served with up in New England. So good! These were overall really easy to make, and they turned out well. You can play with the breading mixture and add spices as you desire, perhaps some cayenne pepper, curry powder, or, if you are like me, more nooch. Yum! And, let’s say it all together now:
Giveaway trivia!
- Joey’s favorite food is, of course, sandwiches. But what is his favorite kind of sandwich?
- In Monica and Chandler’s storyline, they meet a woman at the adoption center who likes them. What does this woman think M & C do for a living?
- Extra credit: What Pulitzer-prize winning show featured a fantastic Annie Parisse?
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Berlin Inspirations: German Potato Soup with Smoky Cashew Cream
Mmm, soup! I mean noodle soup! I mean soup! (“Friends” is always on my mind during MOFO.) Well, I didn’t necessarily have potato soup in Germany so this soup isn’t specifically inspired by my travels but it’s generally inspired by Germany. Because German potato soup is a thing, according to the internet and common knowledge, as well as Tony Horton and the German pornstar who was in the Chest & Back P90X video. (Okay, so I’m 50% making this for Germany and 50% for one of the funnier parts of the original P90X, when four people look ridiculous swinging their arms around doing pot-stirrers and the always insane Tony Horton tells them to call out their soups. See below. And yes, all of us innocent Xers were informed afterwards that Maren is a pornstar.)
All the bowls in London are chipped and not in the good Beauty & The Beast way
From my research, the key ingredient in German Potato Soup (besides potatoes don’t forget the potatoes) is bacon. Ew and oh no! I thought of using tempeh bacon or some such alternate, but I decided instead a) not to waste tempeh because it costs like $11 here in London and b) to use the idea of bacon as inspiration in my everpresent soup topping: cashew cream, this time with a dash of liquid smoke to evoke the scent of nonvegan grossness in a very vegan and delicious way. ALSO, Tony tells everyone “don’t eat swine while doing the P90X”, which is kind of awesome.
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Ingredients:
For the cream:
For the cream:
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BOILING BRAIN PICTURE 
Soak your damn cashews 
Take out your bay leaves before blending! 
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Lovely soup with a little cashew cream dropped in
I really love potato soup and this was no exception! It’s so simple and really delicious. As you can see, I added some chickpeas to my bowl. And these are not ordinary chickpeas. I bought these from a bulk container at a nearby health food store, thinking they were like my beloved roasted crunchy chickpeas from The Good Bean. Nope, these are in fact the only very spicy food you can find in London. SO SPICY! Mixed into this soup, the spice dissipated a little and it was awesome! Any crunchy chickpea would be lovely here, or tempeh bacon, of course. I think Maren and Tony would be proud. And Germany.
Love From Philly: Charlie was a sinner. Elevates Philly’s Vegan Scene
Before we get into the important food-related stuff, let’s acknowledge how difficult it is for me to leave the title like that. But that’s actually what this new amazing restaurant is named and how it is written: Charlie was a sinner. With the period. I love it! But even more, I love the place. It’s the new all-vegan bar from one of Philly’s favorite young restaurateurs, Nicole Marquis of HipCityVeg fame and general wonderingment. Charlie is a swanky, dimly lit, old-Hollywood inspired bar with a creative, upscale menu both for drinks and for small plates. Even early in the run, almost everything I tried was wonderful.
Ricotta and amazing toast
Each time I ate at Charlie, my table began with a toast starter called Our Ricotta, which is a dip made from tofu, agave, black pepper, and olive oil and served with fantastic toasted bread. Internet vegans are seriously divided over this faux-ricotta, because it is kind of just whipped tofu and everyone’s like, oh I can make something more interesting than this. The crazy thing is, when I’ve shared this with dairy-cheese-eating omnivores, they’ve loved it! Omnis love the ricotta more than tofu-loving vegans! Anyway, yes it is extremely subtle and maybe boring for some people, but I like subtle (and sometimes I like things on the blander side) and it was lovely.
Another item I can’t help but order every time I’m there is the Maryland-style crab cake sliders, which I think is Charlie’s best item. I suggest you also get at least 2 orders (per person) because they only come with two little magical sliders, and they are usually on the happy hour menu (so, for only $4 or so). So get at least a few because they are indeed magical. The zucchini-based patties have the perfect flavor, definitely evoking a crab cake but not fishy or faux-fishy in the slightest. They’re lightly fried (I assume) but not at all greasy. The little semolina rolls somehow melt in your mouth. They are so soft and buttery but not in the gross usual Wonderbread way. Just outstanding.
Maryland-style crab cakes
Various sorts of tacos are also common happy hour staples, with one decent soft taco for $3. I’ve tried both the mushroom and the squash, and even though mushrooms are one of my top 4 foods, the squash taco is much more interesting.
Squash taco, above, and mushroom, right |
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Korean-style fried tofu |
Yet another fantastic dish was the Korean-style fried tofu, super spicy and dense and delicious. (Charlie does like adding the “-style” to titles lest someone accuse a dish of not actually being authentic or something, though what does that even mean.) This was really great, garnering two thumbs up from each of my omnivorous fellow diners. Just delicious. I keep wanting to call it Korean BBQ tofu, because I feel like every tofu dish that claims to be Korean is always Korean BBQ. So plus 1 to Charlie for being different, I guess. Anyway, I really want some of this tofu now.
As you can see in these pictures, Charlie can apparently read my mind, because all the dishes have the perfect vegetable accompaniment, which I always want. The crab cakes had an arugula salad, and the tofu had pickles, the perfect choice. |
Korean-style fried tofu
In the summer, you couldn’t go wrong with the heirloom tomato salad anywhere, and Charlie’s was delicious. I am not the biggest fan of raw tomatoes, but heirloom tomatoes at the height of their season? Amazing. It was a seasonal special, so I suggest you order whatever is in season when you go. The salad mixed fresh tomatoes with soft peaches, arugula, and some kind of candied crunchy nut. So delicious!
Heirloom tomato salad
I can also recommend the stunning fresh fig salad, which is on the regular menu. It mixes the figs into a watercress salad with a vanilla bean vinaigrette. Who even thinks of basing a salad dressing around vanilla bean? Super impressive.
Fig salad
Pappillote
Less impressive but not bad was the pappillote of baby fennel, a beautiful smelling and looking soup of tofu, fregola sarda (my favorite Italian grain), and the common stew vegetables. It arrived wrapped in ballooning plastic that was cut by the server very dramatically, and it was all very exciting and nice, but the taste was lacking. It needed a heavy dose of salt – and I usually am extremely sensitive to salt in my food. I would stick to the more fancy bar-type foods that are easier to eat and save the Italian soups for Italian restaurants.
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On that note, you’d probably expect me to tell you to stick to spaghetti and meatballs in Italian restaurants as well, but you’d be wrong. Charlie’s bucatini and “meatballs” were fantastic! The bucatini was as thick and perfect as any I’ve had, and the meatballs were fun. It’s served with a chickpea ragout as well. It’s such a yummy little pile of comfort that it’s worth ordering even if it might not match the rest of your meal.
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Bucatini and “meatballs” |
Chickpea fries |
Lastly, I adored Charlie’s chickpea fries. I actually think these are ten times better than the award-winning, super famous chickpea fries at Peacefood Cafe in NYC. While Peacefood’s Indian-spiced fries are more like patties that must be eaten with a fork, Charlie’s are actually crispy and can be eaten like fries, dipped into a garlic aioli. Wow, I could eat so many of these. They are fantastic! They are a little salty for me, but I think that’s how fries are supposed to be.
The service at Charlie was pretty great as well. On my first trip there, I ordered the basil fennel lemon soda, but they were out of fennel. So the waiter brought me another impressive non-alcoholic option, the raspberry ginger soda, on the house. That’s nice! I had the basil fennel soda at a later visit, and both were lovely, though the basil soda could have shared some of the raspberry’s sweetener and then both would be perfect. |
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A surprisingly great mocktail on offer is the spicy pineapple, which blends the fruit with agave, lime, and cayenne. Wonderful! I love that they have interesting mocktails on the menu; more places need to do that.
I obviously know that if you are visiting Philly, you have too many fantastic vegan options than you know how to handle. But if you are looking for a fancy-looking place with a great vibe, nice service, and wonderful food, try to get to Charlie was a sinner.. (I added an extra period I think that’s right.)
I obviously know that if you are visiting Philly, you have too many fantastic vegan options than you know how to handle. But if you are looking for a fancy-looking place with a great vibe, nice service, and wonderful food, try to get to Charlie was a sinner.. (I added an extra period I think that’s right.)
CHARLIE WAS A SINNER., PHILADELPHIA
Water speed: What’s my favorite thing, people? Glass water bottles on the table. They even had herbs in them!
Service: Very nice!
Bathrooms: Two fancily decorated and enormous singles.
Food: Delicious small plates so you can try a lot, especially during the crazy good happy hour specials.
Bonus: Great cocktails and mocktails, happy hour specials, chickpea fries.
