The Wonders of Inle Lake & Golden Rock, Myanmar (Burma)by Randi / September 17, 2013
As a vegan, I don’t feel much incentive to follow the fancy world of gourmet-level dining, what with their Zagat ratings and Michelin stars and whatever other rankings people in that spectrum of dining covet. In fact, there was a time when all I knew about Michelin stars came from the movie “Ratatouille”. (Great film.) I’m sure it’s interesting to some people, but it sounded odd to rank something as subjective as good food. Moreover, aside from the ratatouille, the honored restaurants and their prize dishes are pretty much the opposite of vegan-friendly. Why would I ever want to go to a restaurant that was lauded for its foie gras, or thought it was commendable to do weird things to all kinds of animals? Nope.
However, my boyfriend is into all of that, and while he goes to those places with friends, I felt a little bad that he couldn’t enjoy these places with me. I’m fun company. But then we were planning a trip to Chicago, and he wanted to go to Alinea. He wanted to go there BAD. So bad, in fact, that he scoured the internet trying to find something that said they could accommodate a vegan. Luckily, he didn’t have to search too long, thanks to the lovely Lagusta, who in 2009 blogged about the vegan menu at Alinea. That’s right – anyone can request a vegan menu at a freaking top world restaurant with freaking THREE MICHELIN STARS. I was in! (I mean, I wasn’t paying. Of course I was in.)
However, my boyfriend is into all of that, and while he goes to those places with friends, I felt a little bad that he couldn’t enjoy these places with me. I’m fun company. But then we were planning a trip to Chicago, and he wanted to go to Alinea. He wanted to go there BAD. So bad, in fact, that he scoured the internet trying to find something that said they could accommodate a vegan. Luckily, he didn’t have to search too long, thanks to the lovely Lagusta, who in 2009 blogged about the vegan menu at Alinea. That’s right – anyone can request a vegan menu at a freaking top world restaurant with freaking THREE MICHELIN STARS. I was in! (I mean, I wasn’t paying. Of course I was in.)
Our seating area was really dark, so the pictures aren’t great, but there is a pretty amazing video at the end showing the epic final dessert. I’ll do my best to remember what we had, but mostly it’s just all a blur of happiness to the point of near-comatose mind-blowingness.
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First, the menu. It’s so vague, I’m obsessed. Any other restaurant and I’d be like, could you put another word in there so I have any idea what you’re talking about? I mean — do you see the one about halfway through? It just says ‘fennel’ and then TWENTY QUESTION MARKS!!! What the what?! But it’s cool because it was all as awe inspiring as food can be.
Also, at the end of your meal, they give you a copy of your menu in a black folder. How nice! When we sat down, this ice block was on our table, on a bed of stones. We thought it was just a weirdly appropriate centerpiece for a molecular gastronomy restaurant, but it came into play with our food! I think…it’s hard to remember because of the aforementioned hallucinatory blur of amazingness. So, we’re going to mostly rely on pictures.
The fun of molecular gastronomy really came through in this early dish. First, that tall glass arrived with that white vegetable balancing on top. You were to let it marinate while we ate other things, and then drop it onto that black rock (which was 1000 degrees) on the sand in the other glass to cook. Then, you dipped it into the sauce in the coconut shell. I appreciated being allowed to play with my food like an adult.
I don’t really remember what was happening here, but I do know that it is ON FIRE. I love this picture, because crazy stuff was happening at every table as meals progressed, yet the other diners seemed business-like. I think they were just trying to act cool and stoic but inside were like Ahh fire!!! Oh except for the two little girls at the table next to us – yes, some family came with two children. To Alinea. And the kids were picky and so ate little of the amazing stuff put in front of them. I just…can’t…no.
I’m not really sure what this picture is of, but it was great, I’m sure. Then, we had a little palate cleanser of pineapple slush. 
Chunks of pineapple with ice crystals that melted into a slush
This bowl at right was so funny because it was eerily reminiscent of puffed wheat cereal, like Sugar Smacks without the sugar. A fancy and delicious soupy version, of course, mixed with herbs and some vegetable.
The next section of our dining experience was my favorite savory part. See my plate, at right? Well, you were to mix each bite with two or three pieces from the below chess board of deliciousness, to create your own insane combinations. It was SO fun and so incredible. |
That Fennel line still makes me laugh
I have no idea what this is, but it was delicious
Sugarless Smacks!
Each perfectly cooked vegetable was to be paired with whatever you fancied on the huge slab below
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Smorgasbord!
How cool is this! These little bites were incredible. See that white pillar in the upper left corner? It was like sweet delicious chalk. I don’t know what they freeze-dried to make it, but it blew my mind. So many little fried vegetables, purees and gels of wonderment. I’m obsessed. Also, this entire plate is vegan! Molecular gastronomy is so vegan friendly, because it’s so weird, I guess.
And then it just continued in its amazingness. The next two dishes were like ravioli, already on a spoon. Just one piece (raviolo, then), but it’s all you need. These bites, especially the one on the right, exploded with the most perfectly matched flavors I’ve ever encountered.
And then it just continued in its amazingness. The next two dishes were like ravioli, already on a spoon. Just one piece (raviolo, then), but it’s all you need. These bites, especially the one on the right, exploded with the most perfectly matched flavors I’ve ever encountered.
I don’t know what you were, but I loved you
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The most perfect raviolo in the world
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The final savory dish (well, at least that I took a picture of! There was so much more! But I didn’t have a blog yet, so you can’t be mad) was this wooden slab of mushrooms, grain crumbs? orange? and foam that evoked a lovely meal in a remote log cabin, probably with Ron Swanson if he ever cooked more than meat. I can’t describe how excited I was for a decent amount of foam, because pretty much all I knew about molecular gastronomy going in was the use of foams.
If Ron Swanson were vegan
How good does that look! It tasted even better, obviously, with the mushrooms, foams, spiced crumbles, and that crispy green leaf blending together so well it was like it was sponsored by Vitamix. Such a great finish.
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Or so we thought. We figured we’d have one or two dessert-y courses, but no. After the above plate, we got FOUR more wonderful things to eat. First, we had this great palate cleanser of five different pieces of ginger. I love ginger, so this wiry thing being placed in front of me made me really happy. Some pieces were sweet, some were really spicy. It was the best thing to have between the savory and dessert courses.
And then even more magic happened, each round more entertaining than the last. Next up were a few dollops of puddings surrounding a fruity liquid that you drank with that silver straw pictured. |
Pieces of ginger
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I loved this dessert. I loved that you could drink the liquid inside, which was light and refreshing and not too sweet. On the dish, there was a sesame-laden blob, a fruity red blob, and this blob of rice pudding, made with rice milk, that was superb. In fact, my boyfriend, who got the regular omnivore menu, got a rice pudding that he said was yogurt-y and tart, and not as good as mine. He even suggested to the staff that the vegan version replace the regular one, because it was that much better!
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The next thing is just hilarious. It’s a balloon. A balloon made of green apple taffy filled with helium, so all night we saw waiters carrying actually floating balloons throughout the restaurant, and people got to eat them. It was so much fun. Insanely messy (taffy all over your face, pretty much), but fun. We were instructed to ‘kiss’ the balloon and then suck the helium out, mainly so the waiters could laugh when we talked and sounded like chipmunks! Then, with the taffy balloon deflated all over our faces (tip: put your hair back), we could eat it. My face automatically puckers at the mere thought of sour fruit candy like Sour Patch Kids and the like, but this had the right levels of sweet and sour. (I mean, obviously it’s going to be better than commercial candy.)
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The final dessert was just epic. A team of waitstaff removed everything from our table, rearranged the table, chairs, and us, and covered the table with a silicon mat. Then came the head chef, alerting us, “You’ll probably want to take a video of this.” Thanks to him, here is the video for your envy-filled pleasure. You can kind of hear him explaining what the purees are, what the liquid nitrogen-spewing ball is holding, and what the chocolate crumbles are made of. It’s mostly like insane astronaut style ice cream but much better.
Dinner at Alinea was without a doubt the most…the most. Like Jack Donaghy in college, it’s getting voted just ‘most.’ If you ever have the opportunity to eat here, do it. It’s mad expensive, and it’s hard to say it’s worth it when it costs more than, like, rent, but if you can swing it, it’s absolutely worth it. I’m not even going to do my usual little roundup of water/service/food/bathroom because obviously this was beyond known ranges. Amazing!
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Vegan Goodies at Smorgasburg, Brooklyn (Dumbo)
Under the bridge like a troll
Today, I had the pleasure of roaming around Dumbo, Brooklyn in the beautiful (and unseasonably strong) sunshine for Smorgasburg, the Brooklyn Flea Food Market. It’s a crazy varied array of food stalls in Williamsburg on Saturdays, hence the name, with a smaller version on Sundays in Dumbo. The Dumbo version has fewer vendors, I think, but also lesser crowds, which is great. Today, I found several vegan options while I got sunburnt and couldn’t find a toilet without a thirty minute line. Fun times! Let’s see what we found!
  I also spotted this Hummus stand! I imagine that the company isn’t really called Hummus, because that would be pretty dumb (“Oh what’s your name? Hummus? Ok, I’ll google that to find out more about you!” says a soon-to-be-very-frustrated individual). The hummus on offer looked pretty splendid, but I told myself it was bad form to buy something at this fair that I make pretty much every day.
Instead, my second food installment came from Bombay Sandwich Company. I’ve heard good things about their all-vegan Indian-inspired sandwiches, so I decided to try one. I ordered the Kale & Cumin, though The Bomb (a garam masala and potato one) is the most popular. And food with ‘bomb’ in the name tends to be pretty amazing. (See, e.g., Vegan Treats.) I waited for about 20 minutes, which seemed absurd in this environment. Finally, they called my name. This was…ok. It was mostly purple cabbage, and I didn’t notice any kale, which made me mad. My friend said she spotted some green shreds in her piece, but that’s not exactly enough to warrant putting kale in the title. It had a thin great northern bean puree, which was good, as were the chutneys topping the bread. However, the sandwiches are billed as being ‘sealed’, so when I saw that they were all just regular pieces of toast, sliding and letting the fillings out, it was a bit disappointing. I think I’ll spend my $8 elsewhere next time. |
 First up was Asia Dog, which can make most of its specialty creations with a vegan dog. My friend ordered the purple cabbage-topped Mel & Steve, left, and I ordered the Vinh (above), which comes with banh mi toppings. I said I was vegan and the woman said there was a veg pate substitute, and that it wouldn’t come with the aioli. However, I didn’t notice a pate of any kind, nor the mustard that was listed. Just the carrots and cilantro. Oh well, it was still pretty good, and for $4 each, not a bad deal.
  Please excuse these photos. It was sunny as ALL GET OUT today, and I could barely see let alone take proper pics |
 This may be the best picture I’ve ever taken. No, actually I had to pee so badly I wasn’t even trying. |
Given the heat, the best part of the day was seeing the Kelvin Slush stand. Started from the Kelvin Natural Slush Truck, this company sells the most amazing, natural slushies, like 7-11 Slurpees but so much better in every way (except not as cheap). You pick your slushy base, like Green & Black Tea, Citrus, or Spicy Ginger (the best best one), and then you choose your add-in flavor, like raspberry or white peach. Today, with no Ginger base on offer, I got the Arnold Palmer (citrus and tea mixed, so good) with a guava (!) add-in. It was great! So refreshing, and they really perfected the level of iciness. Although I’ll probably order the Ginger when I can, I loved the Arnold Palmer base, and the guava made the day seem even more summery. Such a perfect treat!
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Unfortunately, I didn’t see Electric Blue Baking Co., The Regal Vegan with their rumored vegan banh mi, the homemade tempeh guy, or the vegan tacos. Next time, Williamsburg! It was still a pretty fun time though! Have you been? What did you get?
Shoobie Doobie Down to Dubai Where the Food is Great
Dubai was never very high on my to-do list, even though I’ve heard nothing but good reports from others. It just seemed a little plastic, a little bland, a little cultureless (and a lot problematic politically). But there’s much more to it than just being the enormous luxury mall capital of the world, and while I wouldn’t advocate choosing Dubai for a super long holiday over more interesting locations, it’s the perfect spot for a layover or, in our case, before a venture deeper into the Middle East. There’s plenty to keep you busy for a few days even if you aren’t rolling in oil money. Normal people live there too! And while I’m eager to share all the museums and cultural gems we discovered during our time in Dubai, today we’re discussing the vegan food and lodging because that’s what I am and that’s what I care about. And I’m going to save the best part for last so get your reading pants on!
Once we landed and showered (hooray for the room being ready for once!), we were ready to find what would be a favorite Dubai restaurant: Zaroob. I received several recommendations for this classic Middle Eastern place, including from my brother who according to the Snapchat gender-flipping filter is just me with shorter hair so of course I was going to love it. Considering my affection for hummus and bread for that hummus, Zaroob delivered. It was an easygoing place with a great menu of all my classics: hummus, bread, chickpeas, salads, other types of bread, other types of salads. I could literally eat that every day. And I do!
I assume that’s the Arabic on the first line but it looks like it says ugly and Zaroob is not ugly it’s beeyootiful
From the English menu (everything in Dubai is in English), we ordered the hummus with a Lebanese twist, the twist being I guess that it was topped with chickpeas and olive oil; I guess the Lebanese like cute lil nods to deconstructed hummus. We also got a fattoush, which came in three parts – the regular vinegary green salad, the dish of pita chips, and the plate of mixed herbs so that was fun. Our requisite foul (fava beans but like amazing) came in a large silver pitcher which I found hilarious (and hard to photograph).
We also got an order of za’atar manoushe, which is like a flatbread pie with amazing spices inside. We first went crazy for this dish in Jordan and we pretty much get it at every Middle Eastern restaurant every time.
I love this place. It’s casual, inexpensive, and delicious. Their menu said that they were coming to London soon but I guess we have different definitions of soon.
After a day of exploring the labyrinthine malls and city center (next post!), we had dinner at the vegan-friendly yoga studio & cafe (my favorite kind of place, honestly, I’m so crunchy) Life’n One (the accurate typography, I checked; it’s a contraction of Lifern I guess). The restaurant was outside in a gorgeous setting, dark but gorgeous, full of mosquitoes because of said darkness but gorgeous.
There are a few wooden tables out back (with spiders, hooray) and lots of carpets with cushions to lounge upon which isn’t the mooost fun when you are eating but it looks so nice.
As is my wont, I ordered the Superfood Salad, but this was the wrong order at such a me-centric joint. It was mostly kale, which yeah I love, but there wasn’t enough of anything else. It was supposed to be “hand-chopped kale” which I guess means “huge pieces I have to rip apart with my hands” with Mexican avocado, oven-roasted potatoes in tahini, pea shoots, pumpkin seeds, goji berries, and acai dressing. It was pretty much those big kale pieces and REALLY big potatoes. I should have tried the other salad which is I shit you not called ‘The Salad I Was Looking For’ (why didn’t I listen to it?) because it’s topped with ashwagandha and you know I love any bullshit about healing mushroom powders.
Z always orders right, and he got the Unbeatable Vurger, one of their classics. (Other classics included chickpea flour scrambles and omelettes and something incredible called Jungle on Toast so I really ordered wrong.) The Vurger is an oyster mushroom patty with faux Gruyere cheese (I feel like this was just a slab of tofu but who’s complaining), melted cheddar cheese, mushrooms, mixed greens, pickles, and sprouts. It was gooood!
But the best part is not pictured because I got it to go and it was hot in Dubai and it melted but it didn’t matter because it was incredible and delicious and messy and amazing. The Snickers pie. If you go, you get it. It’s everything you’re imagining it to be, but better and chocolaty-er (if I said chocolatier you’d think I was talking about a person so here we are) and messier.
Next up to bat is my favorite place in Dubai. Okay I say that a lot but I have a lot of favorites, it’s allowed. But the Arabian Tea House, an oasis in the middle of a long day of sightseeing, is legit my favorite of all. It has that classic Middle Eastern menu of all my faves but, like the best Tony Awards opening number of all time that I must admit will never be topped even though I’m a little meh on Neil Patrick Harris right now, BIGGER. The Tea House also has the loveliest setting, oh man, bright and airy (it is outside) in a cute but packed (popular for a reason) courtyard. And the food is wonderful.
Why is this wonderful place my top restaurant for Dubai? Well sure they had delicious watermelon juice, and great hummus, and amazing hot tanoor (their word, I don’t know it but I’ll use it) breads that they kept bringing me because I can demolish hot bread, but they also had a menu section called Emirati Salads so I stood no chance.
Obviously I got one, the Arabian Tea House Special Salad (this time I listened to what the menu was telling me; always listen when people/salads tell you who they are). It was a big ass bowl of sorrel, tomato, basil, coriander (European for cilantro), onion, pomegranate seeds, “baby rockets” as the menu said (they meant rocket/arugula obvs but the extra ‘s’ may have been the final push to order it), olive oil and lemon juice, served with even more fresh tanoor bread. THANKS.
As usual, we over-ordered and yet finished everything because it was fantastic. We got SUCH GOOD HUMMUS, like memories of Tel Aviv amazing hummus. We got the aforementioned watermelon juice that came with a big ole hunk of watermelon, please and thank you. We got a dish of navy beans ‘in a sauce’ that turned out to be tomato-y and thus it was like literally a dish of baked beans and we found that hilarious but it was good so who cares, especially when it required moar bread.
Okay in hindsight I guess we didn’t grossly over-order but I remember being grossly full, probably because we had like 11 bread refills. I LOVE THIS PLACE.
We have one more restaurant to talk about before we get to my favorite non-hummus topics (beds and swimming). One night, before we went to the top of the Burj Khalifa (like I said next post!), we ate dinner on the water at Souk Al Bahar (across the bridge from the big mall) at a restaurant called Baker & Spice. This restaurant has a surprisingly good vegan pasta option, and while I usually never order pasta out (I-ah come-ah from the eye-tals I-ah make-ah it good!), I’m glad I got this. It was vegan beetroot bucatini with Madras chickpea curry, lemon, and coconut. Interesting mix but it worked! We also shared a nice lentil soup.
We sat outside on the patio so we could see the fountains, and we had to move a few times because of gross ass smokers, but it was worth it because that night was the special 10th anniversary show for the Burj Khalifa. Every 20 or 30 minutes, there was a fantastic fountain show by the designers of the Bellagio fountains. It was so fun!
All in all I had pretty great vegan food in Dubai. There’s one more meal to share, but that will come in the travel post because it was in the middle of nowhere in another Emirate – we toured all 7 in a day! Have you been to the Arabian Tea House? Did you get mosquitoed at Lifern One? Do you know when Zaroob is coming to London? Comment away!
LODGING
When we first arrived in Dubai, cranky and tired and pushing through the jet-lag jello barrier, our room at the Four Seasons Hotel was like a miracle. We stayed at the DIFC (Dubai International Financial Centre, like the Wall Street/Canary Wharf area) location because we could use corporate rates which worked out awesome because big announcement: THE FOUR SEASONS DIFC HOTEL BED IS IN MY TOP 5 BEDS OF ALL TIME! OF ALL TIME! It was PERFECT. Those pillows. Those pillows were the best pillows I’ve ever encountered. I dream about those pillows while sleeping on inferior pillows. (Not that I sleep anymore since my jet lag from this week’s long-haul is the worst it’s ever been for some reason but that’s not a complaint for you, that’s a complaint FOR THE GODS.)
The service was really nice too, and every day (or sometimes twice!) they’d bring us little treat gifts, like a box of fancy dates or a fruit plate. Housekeeping also always lined up my toiletries in straight army lines which I found hilarious.
Despite being in the quieter financial centre, it wasn’t a bad location. Sure you could choose to be closer to the lights and crowds by the malls and the Burj Khalifa but in the DIFC, we were closer to Zaroob, so, priorities. It wasn’t hard to get anywhere either. And the best part of staying here, the part I told you at the start was coming, was that the Four Seasons DIFC gave their guests access to their much fancier, much more expensive, much just all around INCREDIBLER resort branch uptown (or downtown, I didn’t get a sense of Dubai’s layout, sue me, but it feels right to say ‘uptown’ you get it because suuupes fancy like movin’ on up mooovin’ on up &c.). The Four Seasons Dubai Beachfront Resort at Jumeirah Beach was, to put it simply, my good place, so amazing I bolded it for no real reason except that maybe making it bold will bring it closer to me again. I might cry remembering all the amenities. There’s nothing Tom Haverford and I have more in common than our love for amenities.
The resort was like a grand palace, and they pointed us to the spa changing rooms which give access to the pool and the beach, which is just beyond the pool, which is my favorite kind of beach. I have fun on beaches but omg, a swimming pool is my JAM. So having both right next to each other is perfection. There were actually two big pools, separated by a gate. One was for families/kids and had an afternoon sing-along session – which is the first time we ever heard “Baby Shark” and it hasn’t left my head since.
The pool workers came around with free green juice at one point, and constantly came around with waters. I mean. Was this real? I actually am unsure.
So what about those T-Hizzle amenities? Well, that spa changing room I mentioned was connected to the spa, and we were allowed to go nuts, and go nuts I did. The Four Seasons Resort has the MOST BALLER SPA I have EVER seen IN MY LIFE. There was a jacuzzi, steam rooms, sauna rooms, tropical rain shower sections, weird different-types-of-breezes-in-a-cubicle sections, fully stocked lockers (thanks for that weird underwear you’re supposed to wear for spa treatments you’re damn right I took it for some reason), a lovely snack table with apples and fresh juices and dates and water and oranges and pretty much just everything you’d want. There was a magic BATHING SUIT DRYER. You put your wet swimsuit in and push a button and there’s a weird sound and literally five seconds later your suit is dry! IT’S A MAGIC LAND.
It was THE BEST! Since the spas are off each changing room, Z and I were separated (yes, there are TWO of these tricked out spas) but it was still so much fun. We both tried literally every part, every steam and sauna and weird shower and jacuzzi, after a day of swimming in the pool and the ocean and then the pool and then the other pool. It was the best day. I like being in water at all times. The changing rooms also had wonderful showers that we used after all the swimming, fully stocked with fancy hair and body products, plus all the toiletries you could imagine.
The best part is, we got all of this for being guests of the DIFC, not paying the resort prices. If you can swing it, you should stay here, as it’s the BEST, but staying at the cheaper DIFC location (with the best beds)(I mean I’m sure the resort has equally incred beds, maybe even nicer, but I can’t report on that) and crashing the resort party was definitely the right move for us!
So that’s it for the soft parts of Dubai (food and hotels are soft; touring and museums and stuff are hard). Stay tuned for the big travel post! Here’s another face hole to tide you over. You know how much we love face holes.
(Re: the title of this post, since Z didn’t know WHAT I was getting at: Did some of you not grow up with a Ruby’s Diner and thus its earworm of a jingle? If not, this is referencing said jingle.)
