That Time When I Made a “Sneaky Bean” Dessert & It Wasn’t Gross
I’ve tried all of them. They were always disgusting. I’m sorry, but they were. Disgusting. Is there anything more upsetting than expectations of a delicious brownie dashed? Than having no dessert but some kind of bean patty that tastes more like hummus than brownie? No, I don’t think there is.
Faced with my most-feared culinary nightmare, I decided not to be a victim anymore. We were going to make chickpea-filled cookies, and by god they were going to be FANTASTIC. And guess what? They were. I attribute this to throwing out all the recipes I’ve ever seen for these monstrosities, and instead learning from my experiences and accounting for the usual problems.
THE USUAL PROBLEMS WITH SNEAKY BEAN RECIPES:
PROBLEMS:
|
SOLUTIONS!
|
Told you they were gorgeous, didn’t I!! Oh wait no, no I didn’t.
- 1 can chickpeas, rinsed very well
- 2t vanilla extract
- ¼ C almond milk
- ½ C peanut butter
- ¼ C speculoos
- 1/3 C agave nectar
- 1t baking powder
- pinch salt
- ½ C flour
- ½ C chocolate chips
Directions:
Preheat oven to 350°.
Puree the chickpeas and almond milk in a blender. (The Magic Bullet is perfect for this.) Add the vanilla, peanut butter, speculoos, and agave. You may need to add more milk if it gets too thick.
Mix the dry ingredients in a mixing bowl, then add the blender contents. Mix well. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper, and drop the batter onto it in cookie-sized balls. Bake for about 12 minutes. Let cool before trying to see if you finally made a beany cookie that isn’t disgusting.
I hope this works for you like it worked for me!
Related Posts
British Stereotype Overload: Afternoon Tea at the Ritz (Vegan Version!)
Oh also, the bathroom in the hotel was the nicest. They even had glass water bottles and glasses out in the little sitting area. I didn’t take pictures in the bathroom because I’m not a total weirdo but here are some more interior shots before we get to the food.
The five vegan options were:
- olive tapenade and artichoke. I mean, amazing pair. I did not expect such an awesome option, I really just expected cucumber sandwiches. So this was such a great surprise and it was made perfectly.
- tomato. I don’t really love raw tomatoes and yet this was wonderful, probably because it was salted the best amount and the tomatoes were really good. It was such a pleasant lil sang.
- the classic cucumber and margarine. Man, I didn’t know adding margarine could elevate the simplest thing to being amazing, like what on earth this had no business being so good it was cucumber and MARGARINE and yet it was perfection??
- red pepper and hummus. As you probably know I really don’t like red pepper, but hummus is my #1 food on earth, so this pairing was tearing me apart Lisa! But putting aside my personal preferences, it is a really smart pairing, and the peppers were cooked (so, soft and not crunchy/raw) and it was pretty great. (I only had one though.)
- avocado. Probably my favorite, the sandwich version of avocado toast (lolz) with the best ingredient ever (avocado) plus the second best (salt). SO GOOD.
We were unsure whether the ticket price included endless rounds of anything, but they brought us an extra layer of sandwiches even before we could ask! And then we were too full to bother asking for more/being wasteful gluttons so we called it. But I am pretty sure you can ask for more of anything you want.
Well, except maybe the banana walnut cake.
Then a waiter started going around the room with the dessert cart, which is full of even more options that the regular menu people could choose from. We said to each other ‘oh well, I guess that’s kind of disappointing that we can’t do the super-extra-gluttonous part of picking even more dessert from the extravagant cart, but we’re kind of full anyway’, but then the guy stopped and gave us each a piece of cake! He said this was the extra vegan addition, a pound cake sort of thing with raspberry. We so excited!
Overall, it was a wonderful experience. Even though there are several all-vegan teas being publicized around London, I would totally go back to the non-vegan Ritz – for a special occasion. And I wish I could order the chocolate and banana desserts for parties! It was so special to be able to enjoy this classic/stereotypical English experience. And now when people say ‘oh you live in London? Do you go to fancy teas all the time and eat little sandwiches?’ I’m going to tip my enormous hat and say ‘You bet your bloomin’ ass I do!’ And so can you.
Vegan Nigerian Pop-Up Dinner in London: One to Watch
Water speed: Took a bit to get water, but when it came, it came in a big pitcher. That’s the way uh huh uh huh.
Service: I’ll give a pass since they were friends volunteering I think, and that’s super nice. One thing to learn next time is to bring the food for everyone at one table at once. Guy would come out with four plates, give two to the table next to us, and then two to our table, leaving another two at our table to wait for like 10 minutes for the next batch, and we aren’t heathens so we’d wait, and it was supes awk.
Bathrooms: The bathrooms are down a hall of the hotel (very close to the space) and SUPER DARK. Like, I didn’t know how to exit the first time. It was kind of scary dark, use the flashlight on your phone dark. I also got stuck in the stall once because I was pushing out but it’s a pull-in door. Dumb.
Food: Very enjoyable and shows a lot of potential.
Bonus: New nice-seeming person to look out for!