That Time When I Made a “Sneaky Bean” Dessert & It Wasn’t Grossby Randi / August 27, 2013
This was DELICIOUS.
However, don’t do what I did. Follow the instructions of someone who knows what they are doing.
Or…
If you don’t like being told how to do something, and you prefer being AWESOME, read on.
However, don’t do what I did. Follow the instructions of someone who knows what they are doing.
Or…
If you don’t like being told how to do something, and you prefer being AWESOME, read on.
Tip of the Day: Do not assemble an ice cream cake when the cake parts are still hot.
My birthday this year was quite uneventful, so I decided that my birthday cake would be special: Ice cream cake! I’ve never made one before, and haven’t had one since elementary school, when other kids had those Carvel cakes at their parties. So now it was my time. (THIS SHOULD HAVE BEEN MY TIIIIME!) However, I didn’t think the process through enough. So, this post is more of a ‘What Not to Do’ version of ‘How to Make an Ice Cream Cake’. Some truly amazing cake wreck pictures wait ahead.
My birthday this year was quite uneventful, so I decided that my birthday cake would be special: Ice cream cake! I’ve never made one before, and haven’t had one since elementary school, when other kids had those Carvel cakes at their parties. So now it was my time. (THIS SHOULD HAVE BEEN MY TIIIIME!) However, I didn’t think the process through enough. So, this post is more of a ‘What Not to Do’ version of ‘How to Make an Ice Cream Cake’. Some truly amazing cake wreck pictures wait ahead.
It looks nice, right?
What’s hard to tell, though, is that the frosting melted into the top, coloring the cake, and then all of it slid off into those soupy corners, mixing with the ice cream to make admittedly delicious, viscous plasma. The top looks iced, but it’s mostly just the cocoa that seeped into the pores.
Every time I bake something with my mom’s knowledge, it needs to be chocolate and peanut butter. This is her rule. It’s a good one, but it gets old. After so many chocolate peanut butter cakes throughout the years, I wanted my birthday cake to be different. First of all, instead of the chocolate cake base I always always make in some form, I went with vanilla. I chose my favorite vanilla cake recipe, a doubled variation on Isa Chandra’s Vanilla Bean Cupcakes, minus the vanilla bean (which I have never had/used and that makes me sad. Future birthday present? Actually if you want to get me a present, get me a Vitamix), converted into layer cakes. And then I proceeded to throw together the most ridiculously poor ice cream cake probably ever seen. (Poor looking, and poorly constructed. Obviously not poor tasting!)
It doesn’t look too bad when it’s sliced, does it? But it was, oh it was. Have faith.
First, make the cake.
BEST EVER VANILLA CAKE
Adapted from Isa Chandra Moskowitz’s Vanilla Bean cupcakes
- 2C unsweetened non-dairy milk (vanilla almond is my choice)
- 3t apple cider vinegar
- 2½ C all-purpose flour
- 2t baking powder
- 1t baking soda
- 1t salt
- 2/3C canola oil
- 1¼ C sugar
- 2t vanilla extract
Preheat oven to 350°. Pour the milk and apple cider vinegar into a measuring cup; let it stand for at least five minutes until it curdles. I usually leave it for longer to ensure quality curdling action. Mix the dry ingredients (minus the sugar) in a mixing bowl. Add the sugar, then the oil, vanilla, and curdly milk and mix until just combined; do not overmix. Pour into two 8x8inch baking pans, or two round ones, or do what I did and do one square pan and one circular. (You should also wear 2 different shoes.) Bake for 45 minutes.
LET THE CAKES COOL. Like, for hours, not for 15 minutes like I did. Holy crap, I’m serious.
 See how it rose in the middle? Level that off the tops of the cakes. This is a great thing to do because you get to eat some of the cake before it’s ‘cake time’. Because this is just a sneaky way to eat warm cake without damaging the structure, I have no instructions for how to really do this. You should be able to tell when it’s flat enough, or when you are full enough. I guess it also makes the cakes more amenable to layering and topping with stuff. Really, just do it because it lets you eat the cake immediately. And it’s real good. |
 |
NEXT!
ONCE YOUR CAKES ARE COOL.
Take out your ice cream of choice. I used Trader Joe’s Cherry Chocolate Chip soy ice cream. It’s gooood. It reminds me of my childhood favorite, Ben & Jerry’s Cherry Garcia, but it’s better because it’s doesn’t hurt animals OR your stomach! By the by, is there a website yet that has veganized the Ben & Jerry’s flavors? Because I’d buy an ice cream maker for that purpose. K maybe I’ll do it. I’m on it!
Getting back to the task at hand…
Let your ice cream thaw for a good 30 minutes. If it’s really super crazy hot in your kitchen, you’ll probably only want to leave it out for 15-20. We don’t want milk here. Also, I’m sorry you’re so hot!
Action shot! So fun!
Next, while your ice cream is thawing and your cakes are cooling (or if you are like me, while the cakes are cooking because you didn’t allow them to cool), make your frosting!
I mixed a bag of Trader Joe’s confectioner’s sugar (a pound) with 1/4C cocoa powder and 1/3C Earth Balance, plus splashes of almond milk. And then, as you can see at right, I mixed it with a hand blender.
Tip: Put the bowl in the sink, because this will shoot powder, both the sugar and cocoa variety, all over the place.
I mixed a bag of Trader Joe’s confectioner’s sugar (a pound) with 1/4C cocoa powder and 1/3C Earth Balance, plus splashes of almond milk. And then, as you can see at right, I mixed it with a hand blender.
Tip: Put the bowl in the sink, because this will shoot powder, both the sugar and cocoa variety, all over the place.
Then, when the cakes are cool (FREAL), smear a thick layer of the ice cream on top of your bottom layer. I like to flatten out scoops of the ice cream with my hands, then throw it down on the cake, then lick my hands. No I’m kidding I don’t really do that. Anyway, so you have your ice cream layer. If you have enough frosting, drop a layer of that on top of the ice cream before placing the second cake layer on top. Then top the second layer (and, if like me you used a circle on top of a square, top the exposed corners as well) with the frosting. If you didn’t listen to me but instead followed my example and you assembled this while the cake was still really warm, then by now you realize that you have a HUGE PILE OF MELTING STUFF oozing out onto the counter in front of you and then in a minute ahhhh there it goes onto the floor below you! All down the side of the counter and now oh no! It’s oozing towards your feet! Oh my god you have to contain this delicious sugary mess but you have frosting-ice cream mash-up on your FEET! What is the proper triage order for this fiasco?? Feet or cake? FEET OR CAKE????? Breathe! Towel off your feet because you’re going to be walking soon! You’re going to toss the baking dish of mudsliding horror onto a huge baking sheet and RUN DO NOT WALK to the freezer, where hopefully you already made room*. (Hint: Go back in time and make room!) You are going to throw that sliming overflowing monster into the freezer, cover it with a loose sheet of aluminium or saran wrap, and pray to all that is holy that it stops oozing at some point before your birthday. The end.
*If you were a goody two shoes and you assembled it properly, you still need to put the whole thing in the freezer. You just don’t have to scream while doing it.
*If you were a goody two shoes and you assembled it properly, you still need to put the whole thing in the freezer. You just don’t have to scream while doing it.
 Ta daaa! My epic cock-up turned out to be delicious, naturally; It was just a problem of construction. Those corners though, once they froze? Incredible. It turned into a cross between frosting and ice cream, obviously, since those two things melted together. It was amazing. At right, see my beautiful birthday flowers and my ‘Friends’ birthday card. A-nice! |
 |
Related Posts
The Vegan Scene in Singapore
As we saw in the Singapore travel post, this city-state is a wonderful destination even if you aren’t (synchronized) swimmin’ in dollas. This tiny lil baby island republic has lots of interesting sites, history, and culture to offer regular old visitors like you and me (I’m assuming you, unless you’re like Jeff Bezos but I don’t think Bezos reads this site anymore, not after all the shit I said about him (#billionairesareimmoral)). But that’s not what we’re after. No, who cares about history? When it comes to Singapore, the #1 priority is the food. And like most of its Southeast Asian neighbors (and most places in general nowadays), the vegan food is incredible, cheap, and easy to find. As the kids today would say, it slaps. The food slaps. Am I using that right?
Not to make all my talk about Singapore reference Crazy Rich Asians (although it IS the best movie of 2018 and I dare you to question that (no really I’d love to talk more about 2018 movies if you want)) (okay you’re right, tied for first with Set It Up, of course of course), but you know the scene when Nick and Rachel arrive in Singapore and Dr. Azumi and her kind of magoo fiance take them to the food markets and Nick’s like “Singapore’s the only place in the world where market stalls earn Michelin stars” and you’re like “okay buster that happened like two times ever, chill your jets” but you don’t actually say anything mean to Nick because he’s too really really ridiculously good-looking? That scene very accurately captures my time in Singapore, just in awe of the incredible food. Pretend every day is Thanksgiving and/or you’re practicing to be a competitive eater. Act like those monsters at President Snow’s fancy parties in the Capital. We went to those markets. And you’ll go to those markets. Because honestly, all you should be doing in Singapore is eating, and then going to see all the cultural sites mostly to build up an appetite.
That CRA market, Newton Centre, might be famous for its pork noodles and its chicken rice, plus its long lines of people waiting for those classic dishes, but vegans should eagerly jump right into the fray as well. You can easily get those amazing noodles sans meat, con veggies (Singapore mixes cultures and cuisines like I’m mixing languages), and there are veggies, tofu, soy milks, and beans-atop-shaved-ice all over.
A similar giant, crowded, amazing food market is the Albert Centre, which is where my (terrible; it was dark and crowded and also I was distracted by ALL THE FOOD) pictures were taken. The Albert (at 270 Queen Street) is less touristy than the Newton but just as good. I found some of my favorite vegan-friendly stalls here.
You can’t see it because of the terrible lighting (I told you, can’t be mad) but the sign reads “Woong Kee Traditional Beancurd”. Traditional beancurd??? Fire that sucker up and throw it at my face! Like with everything, you have to be careful and communicate that you don’t want any gross animal products, but this particular stall was pretty clear. I got a little cup o’ dessert beancurd, flavored with a simple syrup (not actual ‘simple syrup’, like a simple syrup). Who doesn’t love a cup o’ beancurd! (Lots of you I bet, but you’re missing out. TOFU IS WHAT YOU MAKE OF IT!)
If anyone goes and finds out what Healthy Bean has for sale, let me know; I’m sad it was closed.
One thing that Singapore does very, very wool is epic shaved ice dessert concoctions. You get a wonderfully wide range of topping options, from tropical fruit to sugar syrups to all kinds of beans (I love that Asia recognizes that beans are for every meal). You can’t go wrong doing what I did – just pointing at brightly colored pictures and saying ‘yes please’ and it will hundo p be delicious.
Don’t forget to order my favorite thing (signage-wise) at this stall – the rainbow grains! Best name for jimmies/sprinkles yet.
Okay, our next stop on our whirlwind tour of just some of what we ate in Singapore, is one of my favorites because I prefer supes healthy food, especially when traveling, but I know the majority of people like to indulge more when traveling. (“Why can’t you just bring a toothbrush?” “Same reason I’m not bringing my cholesterol medicine! I’m on vacation!” (Bobby Cobb, Cougar Town.)) But near the Chinatown Food Market was a place called Well Dressed Salad Bar & Cafe (282 South Bridge Road) that had my favorite ever kind of menu: juices and smoothies, plus truly epic loaded salad bowls. The vegan items were labeled with the Vegan Society logo, and they had all kinds of veggies, fruits, and fun additions like ‘springy tofu’ and tofu feta. You could also get any item as a salad OR a wrap. MY HEAVEN.
I ordered the Manja Ninja mostly for its name. No, it also had all the things I wanted: mixed greens, shredded beets, quinoa, edamame, peaches, avocado, the tofu feta, purple cabbage and a mustard-wasabi dressing. YUM.
We also had great, refreshing fresh juices.
Since all the healthy needs were being met, I also got an order of meaty skewers, called the Satay Party, you know because I love to party. Yes, in addition to all the juices and all the salads they also have a great hot food menu, including full vegan brunch, epic tofu egg sandwiches, shakshuka, soups, truffle mayo fries (!), and more. The skewers were made from grilled beancurd skin, served with cucumber, pineapple, and peanut sauce. So good! I wish I ate there a bunch so I could have tried more but we had such a long list.
Next up was an all-vegan, HappyCow favorite, a fast food eatery called NomVNom (Clarke Quay for me, but I believe has several locations). Junk food isn’t usually my favorite (see above, too much talking about salads) but I do like trying the crazy vegan options every so often. And NomVNom didn’t feel that junky. Sure it’s burgers and fries but it didn’t leave me feeling gross. It was also super delicious! It’s in the basement food court area of Clarke Quay, and there’s plenty of NVN dedicated seating so you can all enjoy your amazing burger together and laugh at everyone who still thinks veganism is hard.
I got the special Truffle Lion’s Mane burger and it was sooo good in like a creamy mayo chicken sandwich way, you know? It had a crispy lion’s mane mushroom patty, mushrooms on top, lettuce, and black pepper truffle mayo. I usually am a sweet potato fries person, at least over regular fries, but the menu was so extensive they had even more than those two to choose from! Pictured are my Jap Potato Fries, obviously ordered because of the name and obviously short for ‘Japanese’ but also, ya know, funny for JAP reasons. Yum! The whole menu looked incredible and I wish I could have tried everything. I mean look at these burgers! And don’t look at the weirdly crooked photo I took!
Let’s take a brief food pause to marvel at the shopping on offer in Chinatown. I bought some of the plush doggo toys, and my baby nephew loves his, so that’s great, but I still am kicking myself for not buying this teacup below, ohhh my god.
We’ve still got two amazing restaurants to talk about, two restaurants that were so great that I miss them like with my blood, like I feel it in my blood. First up is Whole Earth Vegetarian, the only vegetarian restaurant awarded the Michelin Bib Gourmand in 2016 and 2017, which I guess means this post is part of my #VeganMichelinSeries, whaaat. Turn! Of! Events! Whole Earth Vegetarian (76 Peck Seah Street), to none of our surprise by the way things in this post have been going, had a super extensive menu that was so hard to choose from, I think I took longer to order than I ever have ever ever. But I ordered SO WELL. First, we got their house specialty, the Enchanted Forest – monkeyhead mushrooms over broccoli. UGH IT WAS AMAZING.
We also got an incredible Thai rendang-inspired pile of DELICIOUS greens and spicy green beans with housemade tempeh, so this meal was basically all my favorite non-salad non-pretzels foods at once and it was MARVELOUS.
Okay folks, we made it to the last big restaurant meal before I share special bonus food at the end. This restaurant is ALSO one of my favorites EVER. Didn’t I say the food in Singapore was insanely great?? It really was. We’re up to Lotus Kitchen (133 New Bridge Road), which was very close to our hotel so like we should have gone there all the time but we only had three days, remember??? Anyway, so Lotus Kitchen is a vegetarian restaurant in the heart of Chinatown, and perfectly represents Singaporean culture in its cuisine: Chinese, but influenced by the other cultures in Singapore. Fusiony, and so good.
We had dumplings – OBVIOUSLY, because we are not stupid people – to start; plus like tofu skin roll up jawns filled with vegetables and just overall magic; broccoli because we needed more greens; and OF COURSE Singapore noodles because hellooo. The noodles were SO amazing and the sauce and SO creamy and SO spicy.
So, as you can see and because I am telling you so, vegan food in Singapore is superb. I would love to go back to all these places again and try all the other places on my long list that I didn’t have time for. THE BEST, THE END.
Oh I almost forgot, here’s your bonus: a salad I forget all the details of – what, where, why. Well no we know why, I love salad. Byeeees.
These Double Caramel Waffle Cookies Taste Like Your Childhood!
Not that I know what your childhood was like, let alone what the defining tastes of it were, but I’m assuming these will give you such nostalgia you’ll be compelled to call your best friend from day camp.
This evening, I felt compelled to make caramel cookies with these fancy new accidentally vegan products (caramel extract and caramel chips!! score!) I found. I winged a recipe, expecting (hoping?) to test a few batches to get it right, but I loved the first ones! As I bit into my first of many, I realized oh my god I know this taste! But what was it? It was CHILDHOOD .
This evening, I felt compelled to make caramel cookies with these fancy new accidentally vegan products (caramel extract and caramel chips!! score!) I found. I winged a recipe, expecting (hoping?) to test a few batches to get it right, but I loved the first ones! As I bit into my first of many, I realized oh my god I know this taste! But what was it? It was CHILDHOOD .
But telling myself “it’s just childhood!” wasn’t going to cut it. I needed to figure out what it was! I had vague flashes of memories of eating really fast breakfasts before going to, well, day camp. But that wasn’t a lot to go on, except to recall that I was around age 8 because I went to overnight camp at age 10 like a badass mofo. So hmm what did I used to eat for breakfast when I was 8? Oh yes! Microwave pancakes and Eggo waffles!! These taste like microwave breakfast doughs? That isn’t a huge selling point, I guess. Also it isn’t exactly right. We are getting closer though!
Luckily, husband came home and tried one and said, in the nicest way, that it tasted like cheap maple syrup, or really cheap pancake syrup that has no real maple in it. Yes! That’s it! These cookies, these magical flashback cookies, taste like the melted butter-cheap pancake syrup mixture my mom would make my brother and me for our microwave pancakes and waffles! THE BEST THING EVER! IN COOKIE FORM! Hence why I’m calling them waffle cookies. They taste like the waffles of childhood. Cue the music.
Luckily, husband came home and tried one and said, in the nicest way, that it tasted like cheap maple syrup, or really cheap pancake syrup that has no real maple in it. Yes! That’s it! These cookies, these magical flashback cookies, taste like the melted butter-cheap pancake syrup mixture my mom would make my brother and me for our microwave pancakes and waffles! THE BEST THING EVER! IN COOKIE FORM! Hence why I’m calling them waffle cookies. They taste like the waffles of childhood. Cue the music.
CARAMEL WAFFLE COOKIES
|
Makes about 9 cookies
Ingredients:
Directions:
|
 I continue to post pictures of the steps just because I know you love it  This is what stuff looks like while baking in an oven aren’t you pleased I’m sharing?  ME WANT COOKIE |
For those in the London area, the products I used are Dr Oetker’s caramel flavor (I’m sorry, flavour) and random caramel chips from Kosher Kingdom in Golders Green (that shop is a veritable gold mine of accidentally vegan baking chip flavours). For those in America, if you can’t find your own versions, I’d be happy to bring you some in January if you want to meet me in NYC. It’ll cost you either the price of a Broadway show ticket OR enough food to satisfy me at Cinnamon Snail. Hahahah you think you know which one’s cheaper! That’s adorable!
