{"id":9948,"date":"2019-04-25T16:03:37","date_gmt":"2019-04-25T16:03:37","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/laughfrodisiac.com\/?p=9948"},"modified":"2020-03-02T14:37:00","modified_gmt":"2020-03-02T14:37:00","slug":"i-saw-pretty-woman-the-musical-so-you-dont-have-to","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/laughfrodisiac.com\/2019\/04\/25\/i-saw-pretty-woman-the-musical-so-you-dont-have-to\/","title":{"rendered":"I saw Pretty Woman: The Musical So You Don\u2019t Have To"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p><em>It\u2019s Theatre Thursday!\nToday\u2019s show is Pretty Woman: The Musical, which is playing on Broadway at the\nNederlander Theatre<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\"><figure class=\"aligncenter is-resized\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/laughfrodisiac.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/04\/1.png\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-9946\" width=\"537\" height=\"302\" srcset=\"https:\/\/laughfrodisiac.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/04\/1.png 678w, https:\/\/laughfrodisiac.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/04\/1-300x169.png 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 537px) 100vw, 537px\" \/><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p>You know how sometimes things are so bad and you wish a) that you could go back in time and Not Do Them and b) if you can\u2019t go back in time at least Not Think About Them for maybe hey just a minute out of your day but instead you are constantly plagued by the harrowing memories that pop up at the most random times like when you are working or in the middle of the night you\u2019ll just wake up and be like FORK ME THAT WAS BAD? Pretty Woman: The Musical is currently playing on Broadway. It opened what seems like an eternity ago but it is still the current season, and with Broadway\u2019s award season officially begun, it\u2019s time to talk about the show (because none of the nominators will heyooooo!). To quote another beloved movie the musical version of which would probably never live up to how great the movie is, gird your loins.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I understand the desire to capitalize on a known property,\nsince having such a built-in fan base and incredible brand recognition makes it\nseem like a slam-dunk. But with those fans and that recognition comes, in this\ncase, a movie that is so adored that the unavoidable comparisons between the\ntwo will always favor the first. With a movie as beloved as Pretty Woman, the\nodds of making a musical version that\u2019s better \u2013 or even equally good \u2013 were\n(to quote another perfect beloved movie with a new, beyond disappointing musical\nadaptation) mmm slim to none.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Musicals like Mean Girls (I can\u2019t believe I\u2019m about to\npraise Mean Girls) took that likelihood and improved their odds by keeping a\nfew aspects of the original that fans would expect (\u201cShe doesn\u2019t even go\nhere!\u201d) but adding a ton of great new things (still laughing about \u201cJe\nm\u2019appelle Sasha Fierce\u201d). Thanks to Tina Fey, the Mean Girls musical book is\nchock full of hilarious lines that are maybe even funnier than the movie\u2019s.\nThough the musical isn\u2019t great, it\u2019s still enjoyable in its own right because\nof its updated book (and a smattering of good songs). There\u2019s no way an\nadaptation can succeed without giving a strong reason for its existence by\noffering new, quality features. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>There\u2019s a line between these two needs, the need to give\nfans what they love about the original while offering something new and worthy\nthat validates the musical\u2019s existence. But? Guys? It\u2019s not exactly a thin\nline. It\u2019s pretty easy to land somewhere in the broad Venn diagram section of a\nfinished product that includes two kinds of material: new and old. Yet despite\nhaving wide margins, the team over at Pretty Woman landed squarely outside the\nsuccess zone \u2013 because they added nothing new. Well yes there are songs now \u2013\nsongs that sound like Bryan Adams rejects from the early \u201890s (and with Bryan\nAdams and his songwriting partner Jim Vallance responsible for the score, that\nmakes sense (although you\u2019d think a successful songwriting duo would have come\nup with at least one decent song here (which makes me think these literally\nwere songs they wrote decades ago and were told weren\u2019t good enough for radio\nplay))). But the score does absolutely zilch to tell the story. Some of the\nsongs had me scratching my head as to how someone thought that was appropriate\nfor this character at this moment.&nbsp; <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But the real problem is the book. They are literally regurgitating the movie word for word. My sister-in-law and I love the movie, and like any god-fearing American citizen we know most of it by heart. But if you also know the movie well enough to recognize all the lines, then you already know every line in the stage version. It\u2019s literally a word-for-word retread of the script, and that\u2019s its biggest flaw. How can you prove you deserve to exist, little musical, if you copy the movie and don\u2019t offer anything in return? Even all of Vivian\u2019s COSTUMES are the same \u2013 the iconic white suit and black hat (complete with the \u2018big mistake, big, huge\u2019 moment said verbatim), the iconic red gown worn to the opera (complete with Edward closing the jewelry box on Vivian\u2019s hands all done verbatim). (One of the things I keep thinking about is why, amid all these copied costumes, they changed the color of her polka dot polo-match dress from brown to blue. WHY! WHAT DOES THAT MEAN! I can\u2019t stop thinking about it. That\u2019s the only thing they changed from the whole movie.) <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>With every line copied, you\u2019re forced to remember how the\noriginal cast said their lines, so when you hear this cast trying to make\nthings their own, it just sounds wrong. And that\u2019s the entire show. The cast \u2013\nthis cast of amazing talent, including Samantha Barks, Orfeh, Eric Anderson,\nand ffs ANDY KARL \u2013 is given nothing new to make their own, just an old script\nfull of lines that the audience is expecting to be said a certain way but they,\nbeing living breathing actors and not automatons, want to make their own, so\nthe result is just cringey discomfort. Everything feels wrong. I wish someone\nhad written a different script. Oh I forgot, the only difference is that when Stuckey\ntries to rape Vivian she beats <em>him<\/em>\nup. Which is great, but it doesn\u2019t do anything for the story this way so why\nnot just write a different scene? Why didn\u2019t anyone write anything new?!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Literally the only great thing about the show was that Orfeh says \u2018cockroaches\u2019 like a real New Yorker. I think she and Natasha Lyonne are the only two broads in the biz who accurately and amazingly say \u2018cocka-roaches\u2019. So that made me happy. Hundos of dollars and 3 hours of my life and a wasted slot where I could have seen something else happy? Mmm (to quote another movie that should not get a musical version) how about no, Scott. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>It\u2019s Theatre Thursday! Today\u2019s show is Pretty Woman: The Musical, which is playing on Broadway at the Nederlander Theatre. You know how sometimes things are so [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":9946,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[147],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-9948","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-entertainment"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v22.7 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>I saw Pretty Woman: The Musical So You Don\u2019t Have To - Laughfrodisiac<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/laughfrodisiac.com\/2019\/04\/25\/i-saw-pretty-woman-the-musical-so-you-dont-have-to\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"I saw Pretty Woman: The Musical So You Don\u2019t Have To - Laughfrodisiac\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"It\u2019s Theatre Thursday! 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