{"id":5905,"date":"2013-12-05T02:05:25","date_gmt":"2013-12-05T02:05:25","guid":{"rendered":""},"modified":"2019-04-16T12:37:22","modified_gmt":"2019-04-16T12:37:22","slug":"crazy-mother-hubbard-what-to-do-with-the-worlds-largest-squash-part-1-kidney-bean-squash-stew-html-d2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/laughfrodisiac.com\/2013\/12\/05\/crazy-mother-hubbard-what-to-do-with-the-worlds-largest-squash-part-1-kidney-bean-squash-stew-html-d2\/","title":{"rendered":"Crazy Mother Hubbard: What To Do With The World’s Largest Squash, Part 1 – Kidney Bean & Squash Stew"},"content":{"rendered":"
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…shut yo mouth! <\/div><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

<\/span>\"Picture\"<\/a>Bigger than the pool<\/span><\/span> <\/p>\n

      For Thanksgiving, my best friend gave me a squash she bought at the farmers market. I know you’re thinking, how nice is that! What a lovely friend! Squash can feed people! You know what else squash can do? KILL PEOPLE. You know what else? DEMOLISH TALL BUILDINGS.
      Yeah, so my friend gave me the BIGGEST SQUASH IN THE ENTIRE WORLD (that wasn’t entered into some sick contest of genetically mutated growths at a county faire or anything), the enormous Blue Hubbard Squash. With a slightly blue-tinted skin, this squash weighed about 15 pounds and gave me the shivers. For days (weeks? I lost track of time. no it was just days) I stared at it, half hoping to get inspired as to its uses, and half hoping to somehow break it open with my mind. I sat there with my hands on it, hoping that through osmosis my desires would lead the monster to freak the eff out and shake shake shake senora and then crack open. Pretty much I couldn’t figure out how to open it, ok? My collection of 31 knives was no match for this. 
            And then. And then. And gentlemen and then. My mom and I did this: <\/div>\n
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