{"id":5806,"date":"2014-04-12T02:03:00","date_gmt":"2014-04-12T02:03:00","guid":{"rendered":""},"modified":"2019-04-16T12:37:20","modified_gmt":"2019-04-16T12:37:20","slug":"the-best-tacos-what-happens-when-they-turn-out-to-not-be-tacos-html-d2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/laughfrodisiac.com\/2014\/04\/12\/the-best-tacos-what-happens-when-they-turn-out-to-not-be-tacos-html-d2\/","title":{"rendered":"The BEST Tacos, & What Happens When They Turn Out To Not Be Tacos"},"content":{"rendered":"

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      It is finally getting warm! To celebrate summer (because in Philly it customarily goes from winter to summer), I made the best ever tacos. Ever. Summer=tacos just like winter=tacos just like fall=tacos just like spring (whatever that is)=tacos. (Summary: Vegans love tacos<\/a>.) For these tacos, there were accompaniments of tamari-heavy tempeh crumbles, fresh guacamole, shredded lettuce, and oven-roasted broccoli. Most importantly, I made the best ever kind of cashew cream that I can’t believe I didn’t try making before. Read on for the secret ingredient! Vegan food is the best.<\/div>\n
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    To recreate this fantastic dinner as I did, first roast some broccoli tossed with olive oil, salt and pepper, and cook in a 350F oven for 15 minutes. Or however you like to roast broccoli. Also get a bunch of lettuce, shred most of it (keep some big pieces if you want to make lettuce wraps), and make guacamole as you do. You don’t need my directions really for this stuff. But the more stuff you accumulate for the spread, the more impressive it looks. That’s science. Now onto the main event! 
     I used ‘longhot’ peppers in this, which are peppers that are long…and…hot. Seriously I just tried to google longhots but it seems to be maybe a regional name for this type of pepper? But anyway, below is a picture so you can see. I really like naming things after their most obvious attributes. I might start a trend. I’m going to go eat a redround (apple) with some browngoop (peanut butter…that one needs work).  
     So this makes a good amount of food. Yebop. I didn’t use any spices because I wanted the garlic and the wonderful natural flavors to be on display. Lately, I’ve been making dishes that really rely on the interesting spice profile, which is cool, but it’s nice to get back to the basics of vegetable miraculousness. <\/div>\n
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I FEEL LIKE TACOS EVERY NIGHT<\/font><\/div>\n
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Ingredients: <\/strong><\/p>\n
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  • 2 tablespoons olive oil<\/li>\n
  • 1 medium onion, chopped<\/li>\n
  • 4 cloves garlic, minced<\/li>\n
  • 2 longhot peppers, seeded and chopped fine<\/li>\n
  • 2 teaspoons salt<\/li>\n
  • 1 head cauliflower, chopped small<\/li>\n
  • 4 cups curly kale<\/li>\n
  • 2 cups shaved Brussels sprouts<\/li>\n
  • 1 package (12-16 oz.) baked tofu (can bake your own tofu, but like…come on. I )<\/li>\n
  • 1 tablespoon tamari<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

    For the tempeh<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

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    • 1 package (12-16 oz.) tempeh<\/li>\n
    • 3 tablespoons tamari <\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

      For the magical cashew cream<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

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      • 1\/3 cup water<\/li>\n
      • dash salt<\/li>\n
      • 1\/2 cup raw cashew pieces (soaked for at least 2 hours if you don’t have a highspeed blender the likes of which have recently become my lifeeee)<\/li>\n
      • SECRET INGREDIENT<\/font><\/strong>: 3\/4 cup Thai Lime & Chili Cashews (these are from Trader Joe’s. If you don’t have a Trader Joe’s near you, I will bring these to you next time I’m in your town or country. Or you can use um Thai chili and Thai lime and add that to regular cashews? but that doesn’t force me to travel as much and that’s dumb). <\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

        Directions:<\/strong><\/p>\n

          \n
        1. In a pot (I mean a big ass pot), saute the onion and longhots in the olive oil over medium high heat for like 6 minutes. Add the garlic halfway through. That’s 3 minutes.<\/li>\n
        2. Add the cauliflower and the salt, and then the kale and Brussels sprouts. Add a bit of water as needed to get things moving. Cook for about 5 minutes. <\/li>\n
        3. Add the 1T tamari and the baked tofu; cook, stirring, for 10 minutes.<\/li>\n
        4. Meanwhile, in a smaller saucepan, crumble the tempeh, add 2T tamari, slightly cover with water, and boil on high until all the liquid is absorbed (about 10 minutes). Stir a few times to watch for sticking. Then turn down the heat to medium, add the last tablespoon of tamari, and stir for 2 minutes to brown. <\/li>\n
        5. Meanwhile meanwhile, blend all the cashew cream ingredients until smooth. And then like freak the f out. <\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<\/div>\n<\/td>\n
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Chopped onions and 2 ‘longhot’ peppers, so you can see and maybe better identify what they actually are<\/div><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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Wheeee secrets!<\/div><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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White trees!<\/div><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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Another secret from Trader Joe’s, Brussels sprouts that are COMPLETELY SHAVED!! (Ok that’s a Coupling joke. The British version of Coupling, obvs.)<\/div><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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L-R: Shredded lettuce, the amazing cashew cream, guac, tempeh. I mean this stuff is a perfect dinner on its own.<\/div><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
     SO I made all this great stuff and then I began to plate all the gloriousness when I realized that the idiot cashier at Trader Joe’s forgot to put the corn tortillas in my bag. (Seriously, he was the worst. One bad experience out of hundreds, but stillllll.) So, instead I made some as lettuce wraps…but really just shoved everything into my head. So what happens when tacos aren’t allowed to be tacos? Lesson: Taco fillings and accompaniments are as good mushed together on a plate as they are in a tortilla. As we knew. <\/div>\n
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<\/div><\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

      It is finally getting warm! 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