{"id":4243,"date":"2014-01-12T18:51:57","date_gmt":"2014-01-12T18:51:57","guid":{"rendered":""},"modified":"2019-04-16T12:37:21","modified_gmt":"2019-04-16T12:37:21","slug":"the-71st-annual-golden-globe-awards-are-tonight-lets-predict-stuff-html","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/laughfrodisiac.com\/2014\/01\/12\/the-71st-annual-golden-globe-awards-are-tonight-lets-predict-stuff-html\/","title":{"rendered":"The 71st Annual Golden Globe Awards Are Tonight!! Let’s Predict Stuff!!"},"content":{"rendered":"
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       Tonight is one of the greatest holidays of the year! Yes, that’s right, it’s time for the Golden Globes, the most meaningless but most hilariously fun awards show there is. Tina Fey and Amy Poehler, queens of the modern era and of my heart, are the hosts again this year, after their stellar turn last year when they made the best joke ever about James Cameron.<\/a> So yeah, with the two of them entertaining us again, the show is sure to be worth watching. But yes, these are the most meaningless awards out there. I think even the People’s Choice mean more. That’s because the Hollywood Foreign Press is famous for nominating and voting for famous people they want to come to their show and go onstage, regardless of desert. And we have the infamous ‘Musical or Comedy’ movie category, which means ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. Some of the ‘hilarious’ movies qualifying as comedies this year include the traumatic family drama ‘August: Osage County’ and the depressing-as-shit ‘Nebraska’, along with the tragically serious ‘Inside Llewyn Davis’. See, the movie studios decide what categories they will submit in, so if there’s an abundance of quality dramas that year, cunning\/lying studio execs will decide their tearjerking poverty-stricken story is quite funny. Liars, the lot of them. Anyway, so that’s why this shit means shit, but it’s still going to be amazingly fun. Here are my predictions. <\/div>\n
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BEST MOTION PICTURE – DRAMA<\/strong><\/p>\n
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  • 12 Years a Slave<\/strong><\/u><\/li>\n
  • Gravity<\/li>\n
  • Captain Phillips<\/li>\n
  • Rush<\/li>\n
  • Philomena<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

           Saw it twice. It’s epic and amazing and as tough to watch as it should be. Please win the Oscar too.<\/p>\n

    BEST ACTOR – DRAMA<\/strong><\/p>\n

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    • Chiwetel Ejiofor<\/u> – 12 Years a Slave<\/li>\n
    • Idris Elba – Mandela<\/li>\n
    • Tom Hanks – Captain Phillips<\/li>\n
    • Matthew McConaughey – Dallas Buyers Club<\/li>\n
    • Robert Redford – All Is Lost<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

             All of these men were great, and this could very well be the Oscar list as well. But Chiwetel gives the performance of a lifetime and deserves to win.<\/p>\n

      BEST ACTRESS – DRAMA<\/strong><\/p>\n

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      • Cate Blanchett<\/u> <\/strong>– Blue Jasmine<\/li>\n
      • Sandra Bullock – Gravity<\/li>\n
      • Judi Dench – Philomena<\/li>\n
      • Emma Thompson – Saving Mr. Banks<\/li>\n
      • Kate Winslet – Labor Day<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

               Another category that I hope is the Oscar list. All of these women give incredible performances, especially Emma Thompson, but Cate Blanchett’s stunning, haunting work will be hard to beat.<\/p>\n

        BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS<\/strong><\/p>\n

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        • Sally Hawkins – Blue Jasmine<\/li>\n
        • Jennifer Lawrence – American Hustle<\/li>\n
        • Lupita Nyong’o <\/u><\/strong>– 12 Years A Slave<\/li>\n
        • Julia Roberts – August: Osage County <\/li>\n
        • June Squibb – Nebraska<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

               If Lawrence wins, I will be so angry. SO ANGRY. Nyong’o was amazing. Also, I wish Scarlett Johansson was nominated for ‘Her’. What a remarkable voice-only performance. <\/p>\n

          BEST DIRECTOR<\/strong><\/p>\n

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          • Alfonso Cuaron – Gravity<\/li>\n
          • Paul Greengrass – Captain Phillips<\/li>\n
          • Steve McQueen<\/u> <\/strong>– 12 Years a Slave<\/li>\n
          • Alexander Payne – Nebraska<\/li>\n
          • David O. Russell – American Hustle<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

                 Russell could win because of the aforementioned conning of the voter pool, but I am rooting for McQueen to triumph for his triumph. <\/p>\n

            BEST ANIMATED FILM <\/strong><\/p>\n

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            • The Croods<\/li>\n
            • Despicable Me 2<\/li>\n
            • Frozen<\/u><\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

                   FROZEN BEST MOVIE EVERRRRR!<\/p><\/div>\n<\/td>\n

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BEST PICTURE – FAKE COMEDY<\/strong><\/p>\n