{"id":4081,"date":"2016-12-07T19:40:56","date_gmt":"2016-12-07T19:40:56","guid":{"rendered":""},"modified":"2019-04-16T12:37:11","modified_gmt":"2019-04-16T12:37:11","slug":"gilmore-girls-a-year-in-the-life-summer-tiiime-and-the-palladinos-are-mishegas-html","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/laughfrodisiac.com\/2016\/12\/07\/gilmore-girls-a-year-in-the-life-summer-tiiime-and-the-palladinos-are-mishegas-html\/","title":{"rendered":"Gilmore Girls \u2018A Year in the Life\u2019: ‘Summer’ Tiiime and the Palladinos Are Mishegas"},"content":{"rendered":"

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​Hoo boy, was ‘Summer’ a doozy. I experienced a roller coaster of emotions – I was angry, I was sad, I was even angrier, I was frustrated – and that’s all directed at the Palladinos. We learned something new and super annoying about the Palladinos, or as I’ll now call them, the Tweedledee and Tweedledinos, from this episode:  They hate millennials. Yup, the people who created one of the most beloved and important shows of this much-maligned generation also believe all the very stupid and baseless bullshit spread about millennials – that they’re lazy good-for-nothings who all end up back living with their parents because of their own bad decisions. They are like those idiots who believe that the fact that millennials can’t buy a house at age 25 from a median-income 9-5 job like their grandparents could is their own fault, and not, as it is, the fault of those grandparents. Nothing is more ignorant and, really, basic<\/em> than uninformed derision of millennials. Conclusion, the Palladinos are basic bitches.<\/div>\n
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But first, let’s start at the very beginning of the episode. Just seconds after we were notified that this episode was, like Spring<\/a>, written and directed by Daniel “FFS” Palladino, we were reminded of yet another really terrible trait of the Tweedledinos: they love to fat shame. Like, love<\/em> it. I really needed this episode to do a lot of heavy lifting to redeem the revival after Spring’s mess, so to be so quickly reminded of their ‘90s-era lame humor seemed to be accompanied by a cartoon ‘womp wahhhh.’ As we see time and time again, Amy and Dan love making fun of vegetarians and fat people – two of the lamest<\/em> kinds of stale ‘jokes’. To have Summer start with more of their outdated, offensive, lazy, tired humor was such a disappointment. Is it irony that their humor is what they falsely think millennials are – lazy and tired? Or just annoying and embarrassing for them?<\/p>\n

At first glance, the opening scene seems promising – everyone is splashing and rollicking at the Stars Hollow pool (which is a thing!) and it looks so fun and omg it’s so cold here I really miss summer and pools! Then we focus on Lorelai and Rory lounging by the pool with hats and sunglasses and attractive summery clothes (not bathing suits), talking fast about…how dumb people are for wanting to swim? Wait, I really don’t buy this. They go on and on about how to get to the pool, you have to walk there in the sun, which is hot, which makes no sense if the purpose of the pool is to avoid the heat, and if the other purpose is to cool off in water, they should stay home and take a bath. Oh my goodness. I think this is a new conversational low point. Remember when their first conversation of the revival was about Goop? I miss those days. I fully and completely object to the idea that they would be anti-pool to such an extent that they question why people enjoy pools. Wtf. I liked how they finished each other’s sentences but that’s about it. And just when you think this scene can only improve, they start saying ‘belly watch!’ when fat people walk by. Oh the fat shaming is both shameful and not quick. What lazy humor, Dan. Shame. SHAAAAME.<\/p>\n

Okay, now<\/em> the crappy stuff must be over, right? But alas. Andrew comes over to the girls and says how he’s glad Rory’s ‘back’, to which Rory argues ‘I’m not back’. Then Lane and Zack come over and Zack says the same thing. (Lane shows what a good friend she is by immediately saying ‘She’s not back’, knowing that’s what Rory would want.) Again Rory protests ‘I’m not back!’ Because being back living in her mother’s house – which she is<\/em> doing – would be embarrassing? Would mean she’s a failure? No, it doesn’t at all, and it’s super common nowadays because our generation has been given a destroyed system that adds insult to injury by having older generations blame us for what they wreaked. But having Rory so vehemently oppose the idea of people thinking she’s back shows that that’s exactly what she thinks and what the show’s universe and creators think. Fie on them for perpetuating this ignorant belief that should be relegated to the province of old white congressmen only. <\/p>\n

Zack looks like Santa Claus.<\/p>\n

​Okay, NOW the crappy stuff must be over right? Right? HOLY SHIT ALL THE PREVIOUS AWFULNESS HATH BEQUEATHED THE WORST AWFULNESS OF ALL, APRIL! NOOOOOOO! Okay, breathe. We knew she was coming, we knew. It’s just that after a fully loaded 2 minutes of this episode, chock full of as many trite jokes and insulting platitudes that can be crammed into 2 minutes, to have April show up before we even reach the 3 minute mark is like a stress test gone berserk. <\/div>\n

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April and Rory talk about how great M.I.T. is and how much they love beakers and Bunsen burners and clamps (?), and I realize two things that kind of suck: a) how it would have been nice back in season 6 if instead of using April as a plot device to drive Luke and Lorelai apart, they had L&L bond further over having such similar daughters, and b) April sucks.<\/p>\n

She goes on about how she only watches German silent films (I don’t know anyone who ever went through that phase) and yells at Luke that the Constitution says she can pierce her nose (same Constitution those republicans seems to be looking at) and then, worst of all, doesn’t get Lorelai’s jokes. Now the Woody Allen quote I’ll give her a pass on, because Woody Allen is a disgusting paedophile, so disgusting that I’m giving him the British spelling and saying it in my head like Ted Mosby. But to not laugh at the greatest Lorelai line in so long is unforgivable: When April claims she spoke to BLE Noam Chomsky (best linguist ever), Lorelai says, “Ah. To Noam is to love him” and I CACKLED. April just looked confused. I mean, that was the best line!<\/p>\n

I noticed at this point that Luke is, and has been, acting like Upside Down Luke. It’s him, but like…not. He refuses to have conversations. He refuses to talk with Lorelai about finances and about how much he’s paying for April to do whatever she wants. You have to have those conversations, Luke! He just shuts Lorelai down crankily and that’s that. I want to Cher-in-Moonstruck him and shake him out of whatever grumpy funk he’s in. But he doesn’t seem like the adorably grumpy guy he used to be; he just seems like an unpleasant ass. And that’s not Luke. I don’t really understand why they have him acting completely devoid of emotion, of love, of kindness in this episode and in Spring, unless it’s to lead up to something that is going to be very disagreeable. I guess we know that’s coming, but to have Luke’s lovable character completely altered in this negative way does not feel true to the show, or to him. <\/p>\n

I do love that he forgets so much about the TV show they’re watching (“The Returned”) that he says “Oh yeah these people live in this small town, right?” and Lorelai prompts “…and some of them are dead…” and he has completely forgotten that part. That’s the one very Luke thing in hours of revival so far.<\/p>\n

No time to dwell on how the dream is dead because April decides to continue the conversation about how Rory is back home and how she too could fail like Rory and be spit out by the world and then she has an anxiety attack to mirror the one she gave me. April’s also wearing a rasta knit hat. I’m gonna need M.I.T. grad Bean to report to us on whether M.I.T. students wore those hats.<\/p>\n

As almost a reflex when she’s dealing with the sads, Rory calls Logan for comfort, but learns that her affianced adulterer of a beau is now – what a gd surprise – living with the fiancée heiress. Instead of both of these morons realizing that maybe they should end their affair, they talk about what hotels Rory can stay in when she visits. Rory at least seems upset about having to stay in a hotel, but it’s probably not for a good reason like she’s coming to terms with her immorality but more likely because she doesn’t like the room service at the Savoy or she knows that Amber Riley’<\/a>s unstoppable belting will travel up to her floor and keep her up at night. <\/p>\n

Nope, they decide they’ll still see each other. Cool guys.<\/p>\n

Yay a town meeting! With Carole King back as music shoppe owner Sophie! I love her even though it’s weird that she’s no longer singing the theme song because, sadly, the revival just starts, with no musical opening, which I strongly disagree with. Oh no. Oh no. The entire start of the meeting is about how Rory is back and how she should join up with ‘the 30-something gang’ of all the Hollow offspring who had to move back in with their parents and they go bowling and stuff. I’m offended in so many ways by this continued mockery, Daniel, and the suggestion that people in my age group enjoy bowling so much is not the least of it. <\/p>\n

Why is there so much gd Bootsie in this episode yet we haven’t seen Patty in forever?! Bootsie sucks. I’m not okay with this lack of Patty at the town meetings – which are held in her own dance studio. There’s been a lot of Babette, and I adore Babette, but it’s almost too much of her, like they gave her all the time allotted for both Babette and Patty. Why isn’t Liz Torres doing more? Is she sick? Don’t be sick! <\/p>\n

The next order of business at the town meeting is one I am fully behind – Taylor wants to put on a town musical! This is such an obvious plot device to cover up the Tweedledinos lack of good story ideas otherwise, but I don’t care because a musical! A musical! I am psyched. It’s going to be terrible, isn’t it? Yessss.<\/p>\n

Nice to see that Stars Hollow now has roughly 6 people of color finally.<\/p>\n

The last order of business is a new plot line for Rory that doesn’t involve adultery! How novel! The Stars Hollow Gazette is shutting down, not due to lack of funding or anything reasonable, but just because the editor is retiring. And because Taylor likes to do dumb things, the newspaper is shutting down instead of finding a new editor. Obviously, Rory cannot abide ending such a bastion of journalistic integrity\/good coupons, and we can see the passionate fire of an extremely weak child trying to rub together two rocks growing inside her. <\/p>\n

Before we see Rory save journalism as this series always told us she was born to do, we go back to the pool. Oh joy. Did I mention how they hired two little boys to hold parasols over them? I feel so bad for these little boys. It’s so hot out and they just want to play! It’s summer! But instead they have to listen to Lorelai and Rory do, what, plantation humor? as they talk in ‘humorous’ southern accents about how good their little servants are. Oof. And then more body shaming. Cool guys! <\/p>\n

As the little boys trail behind the Girls, lugging all their crap, they see other kids playing and say, ‘That looks like fun.’ It’s not particularly funny, just sad, but I don’t see the point of including this at all unless it’s to show us that the Girls are horrible people. And while we know that they can be indeed horrible, I don’t believe that Daniel would want us to think that! Does he hate them? Is he throwing the game? It’s just so unnecessary unless he wants to spread hate. Which, to be fair, is so like him.<\/p>\n

Yasss musical auditions!! The happiest time of year! Here’s Patty finally, handling the sign-up sheet with Babette. Her trademark lasciviousness seems almost forced, as her lewd comments to all the hot men are no longer funny but awkward. Her spark is lessened. Did all her amazing energy come from her old body? I did enjoy Babette’s “It says your name is Kevin but I’m going to call you…tomorrow.” Classic old lady line! <\/p>\n

I cannot abide all the talk about how Sutton Foster played a character named Kinky Boots. As Lorelai points out, there is no character named Kinky Boots. As sadly NO ONE points out, there is no main role for women in the entire show. In fact, Sutton wouldn’t be right for any female role in the show, so this bothered me a whole lot. At least Kerry Butler\/therapist Claudia is finally going to do something on this show she’s good at – sing! And while she talks to Lorelai about needing a good word put in for her (um you don’t you’re amazing), Sutton Foster is singing my favorite song to sing from ‘South Pacific’!!! What a great 40 seconds this was! Kerry sings too and was in such good voice. Slay queens.<\/p>\n

Rory finally asks Taylor to let her save the Gazette, which, okay, this is a decent plot line for her. At least she’s writing. But apparently it is an unpaid position? Or when they said the salary was nothing did they mean in figurative terms? Because that’s b.s. otherwise. She does take a lot of scotch from the editor’s desk though. Maybe she likes getting paid in scotch. Insert happy shouting here for casting the great hilarious Jackie Hoffman as one of the Gazette staffers!<\/p>\n

Okay now we have to talk about the most disturbing part of the revival, maybe the most disturbing thing ever on television. Guys. What the hell is going on with this little girl? She is either Alien Learning to Assimilate to Humans By Only Watching Old Cartoons Where Facial Expressions Didn’t Change, or Worst Child Actor in History. I realize I am bashing a child but I can live with it. I cannot tolerate this performance. Seriously, what is happening here? This Boy Statue is holding I’m guessing a phone, completely stationary, and Alien\/Worst is just grinning like a fool LIKE A FOOL for wayyy too long than is necessary to make whatever point about Aliens\/Terrible Child Actors they’re trying to make here. Michel and Lorelai could have thrown down on the reception desk and instantaneously conceived and birthed a centaur and I would not have been able to look away from this Medusa’s head of a child’s face. <\/p><\/div>\n

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