{"id":4068,"date":"2017-01-10T20:23:00","date_gmt":"2017-01-10T20:23:00","guid":{"rendered":""},"modified":"2019-04-16T12:37:11","modified_gmt":"2019-04-16T12:37:11","slug":"golden-globes-2017-the-good-and-the-ugly-and-the-crazy-html","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/laughfrodisiac.com\/2017\/01\/10\/golden-globes-2017-the-good-and-the-ugly-and-the-crazy-html\/","title":{"rendered":"Golden Globes 2017: The Good and the Ugly and the Crazy"},"content":{"rendered":"
<\/span> Maybe it was an attempt to make up for how shitty he was in the fall, or maybe he couldn’t avoid it because it’s all anyone is talking about (rightly so), but Fallon’s monologue, once he got past the teleprompter issues (which shouldn’t really be a thing for a professional comedian?), was heavy on light Trump jokes. Like referencing nominee “Game of Thrones” and asking what it would be like if King Joffrey had lived – “Well in 12 days we’re gonna find out!” Haha that is HILARIOUS, Jimmy Fallon, when you are the one who made him seem normal and endearing to many voters. His non-Trump stuff was slightly funnier, although I don’t know how I feel about his Chris Rock impression. It’s a good impression, as most of his impressions are, and the content was strong – about how all the “The People Vs. O.J. Simpson” winners were going to thank Ryan Murphy and their partners but not one of them would thank the one person who had the most to do with getting them to that stage – O.J. Simpon. That was hilarious, especially when the camera cut to Sterling K. Brown and Cuba Gooding Jr. laughing really hard. But to do a Chris Rock impression in the first place, when talking about O.J., I don’t know it just seemed a little wrong. <\/p>\n Thankfully, he didn’t speak for too long before the awards started. But the slightly off-kilter vibe this entire telecast had was evident from the start, as Emma Stone got up to present the first award with Ryan Gosling. When she got to the microphone, she f-ing sighed<\/em>. Maybe she was just tired of how much success she is currently enjoying, but it very much came across as if she hated being there and wanted to get it over with as soon as possible. That’s something I would expect from a Billy Bob Thornton (who later got his chance to be suuuper weird with his acceptance speech) but not from Hollywood’s golden girl. Maybe it was a sigh of relief that Fallon’s main part was over with but I doubt it.<\/p>\n The bullshit continued, most egregiously, with the announcement of that first award, for Supporting Actor in a Movie. I literally screamed when Aaron Taylor-Johnson beat Mahershala Ali from “Moonlight”. I have nothing against the actor himself, but are you f-ing kidding me that ANYTHING from that POS “Nocturnal Animals” won an award of any kind that wasn’t a Razzie or more appropriately a “Do Not Resuscitate” from the League of Women Voters, #ShoutYourAbortion, and\/or Equality Now? I will get more into this in my pre-Oscars movie review roundup (and how), but “Nocturnal Animals” was one of the most offensive and misogynist (and offensively misogynist) films I’ve ever seen, more so because it and its creator Tom Ford (what a winner he is) don’t even realize how indulgently violent and aggressively chauvinistic they are. It’s subtle enough in its rampant misogyny that I’m sure many viewers didn’t notice, but it struck me so clearly and consistently throughout the film that this was a piece for dangerously backwards thinkers who legitimately hate women. It reminded me of the kind of showy violent against women that goes unchecked in shows like SVU, but much more sinister in its lack of awareness. Point is, I cannot believe that this movie is getting accolades instead of disdain, especially over the one movie that deserves more than it has been getting, “Moonlight”. I mean, but I can believe it, because this is a world that allowed for Trump, so. <\/p>\n The next award went to Billy Bob, so for a while the entire broadcast was entirely about celebrating hickish white male psychopaths who do nothing to improve society and everything to push it backwards (whether their character or real life). Cool HFPA. Billy Bob did not disappoint with his peculiar speech about how he was very happy to have beaten fellow nominee Bob Odenkirk, because the two Bobs have had a rivalry dating back to the 1940s, when they were in a movie with Van Johnson? Cut to Bob Odenkirk looking as super confused as the rest of us about why we allow Billy Bob to say things. <\/p>\n Finally, things picked up when Tracee Ellis Ross won for Actress in a Comedy Series. I’ve only seen a few episodes of “Black-ish” but she’s wonderful in it. I especially enjoyed when she thanked her mom and dad because her mom is Dianaaaaaa. <\/p>\n I honestly didn’t even realize that season 3 of “Transparent” already came and went. Damnn I’m so behind on my pop culture. Really behind, because the TV comedy winner – “Atlanta” – I haven’t even started yet. Which is nuts, because I adore Donald Glover so much! Troy Barnes man! He’s so flipping charming – “I really wanna thank…like. Atlanta – like all the black folks!” had everyone cracking up. What an impressive person, to have created, written, and starred in this critically acclaimed show while in his other career, as a rapper-singer, he’s produced another critically acclaimed album.<\/p>\n Interim fashion report: All the men have lumberjack beards, Mandy in “Homeland”-style. All the women seem to be wearing very sparse bedazzled dresses. And Nicole Kidman is wearing swimmies! Carrie Underwood’s pink ruffly gown is both super ugly and super pretty too. These open-shoulder clothes need to end their time in the sun already; I don’t get the appeal. And several women are wearing jackets (like Meryl’s) with bigger bedazzled jewels all over them. Weird.<\/p>\n Speaking of, one such bedazzled-jacket wearer, Nina Jacobson, also gave us a super weird speech. The producer of “The People Vs. O.J.” read written notes – always a bad idea, but here more ridiculous than usual, because she described the actual trial as a “tragedy turned into entertainment”, which maybe is true but just came across as really crazily insensitive and vulgur. Like her jacket.<\/p>\n This show was quickly spiraling to a level no one wanted to see, so luckily we were distracted by both great and incredibly random presenters. On the former side, we had Annette Bening come out and give off her trademark vibe of “Oh yes, I am here, and I am better than you”, but in like a great way. On the latter side, we got the random duo of Naomi Campbell (does she act or just throw phones) and that handsome advanced robot who goes by Matt Bomer.<\/a><\/span><\/span> <\/p>\n
Finally, we were treated to some funny when Hugh Laurie won his third Globe, for “The Night Manager”, and said how he was honored to win at the very last Golden Globes. “I don’t mean to be gloomy but it has the words ‘Hollywood’, ‘foreign’, and ‘press’ in the title. For some republicans, even the word ‘association’ is too much.” So funny, and extra good coming from such a glorious curmudgeon. He ended by accepting the award on behalf of psychopathic billionaires everywhere. Best acceptance speech by far.
Things picked up a little after that, with another fantastic acceptance coming from the truly joyous and delightful winners for Best Song, Pasek and Paul. It’s no secret I’m a huge fan of their musical work but it’s absolutely mind-boggling that they are going to win an Oscar soon, and before they even win a Tony (which they really better win in June or I’ll flip). They were so sincere in their happiness that it was a relief amid the rest of the room’s sense of boredom. It’s nice to see newcomers remind the others how lucky they all are to be there.
Okay, so the greatest part of the entire evening came during a commercial break. Did you see the CIGNA commercial? It featured all the famous TV doctors – Lisa Edelstein from “House”, Donald Faison from “Scrubs”, Patrick Dempsey from “Grey’s Anatomy”, and Alan Alda from “MASH” dressed as doctors telling people to get health insurance or something I stopped listening because I was yelling and reveling about how this was the best commercial in history. Why has no medical organization thought of this in the past? LOVES IT.
I guess that commercial was the indicator that things were about to get better, because the next few presenters were my favorites. We got Dev Patel and little Sunny Pawar from “Lion”, a fantastic movie and both of them are incredible in it. But really it’s all about how flinging flanging adorable Sunny Pawar is. Omg he is the cutest little face I cannot take it. Really, you need to see “Lion” if only for how great and cute he is. And heartbreaking. And so cute.<\/div>\n <\/a> <\/p>\n
Husband: “Is Goldie Hawn drunk?”
Goldie: “The nominees for Motion Picture Comedy or Mystical<\/strong>…”
Amy: “Musical.”
Goldie: “Musical.”
Husband: “So, yes.”
The very first actually moving speech came courtesy of Ryan Gosling, who thanked his partner Eva Mendes and dedicated the award to the memory of her brother, who battled cancer during the filming. I had no idea about any of this tragedy and it was kind of shockingly sad. Eva wasn’t there which is good because it would have been way too sad to see her cry. <\/div>\n <\/a> <\/p>\n
I’m sure it got some flack, but I think the decision to cut the In Memoriam (it would have been longer than the telecast, given how insane 2016 was) in favor of just a short about Debbie Reynolds and Carrie Fisher, was a good idea. It was lovely but I wish it were a little longer. Hell they should have just shown “Singin in the Rain” in its entirety. Or all of Debbie’s flawless scenes from “Will & Grace”. And then all of Carrie’s perfect, hysterical late night appearances that uniformly destroyed the hosts. God this is one of the saddest, most tragic things.
Next, Casey Affleck presented our next nominated drama, “Manchester by the Sea”. He said it was a surprisingly funny and moving family drama, to which I responded out loud, “IS IT?” The clip showed 100% of all the dialogue from that overrated movie.
In the contest for Worst Acceptance speech, we already had lots of entrees, but Tom Hiddleston’s may be the winner for incongruous it is for a professional actor – who just won an acting award, no less – to be unable to speak well publicly. His long weird rambling story – about how doctors and nurses in the South Sudan binge watched his show – had all the makings of an actually good story about people doing seriously important work. Yet his inability to tell a story made it all really uncomfortable. It did have two things going for it though: one, it proved the importance of writers, and two, Christian Slater’s face.<\/div>\n <\/a> <\/p>\n
Luckily, Meryl’s speech was red underlined 100 emoji, and the endless news coverage it engendered is deserved. It was amazing. She started by listing off actors in attendance and not in attendance and stating where they were born, and it quickly was apparent that these esteemed actors were from all corners of the country and all reaches of the world, proving that Hollywood is, in contrast to what idiots like to pretend, full of different kinds of people with all different backgrounds. And if you got rid of all the outsiders in Hollywood, there would be no one left, and nothing left to watch except football and MMA, which isn’t art. I loved it. She went on to talk about how Trump’s mocking of the disabled reporter has stuck with her (all of us) and broke her heart, and how it gave permission for others to do the same thing. Disrespect incites disrespect, she said. “When the powerful use their position to bully others, we all lose,” she said in her most quoted quote. “We need a principled press to hold power to account.” I love that she used this platform to say these important things. It doesn’t matter that she was preaching to the choir for the most part because the alternative is staying quiet, which isn’t an option. Also, look at how angry it made Trump, proving once again but to a really wide audience that he is more of an immature crybaby than a colicky infant. I love that Meryl spoke about him but never once said his actual name, because you know that that is what really got to him. Genius, she is a genius. The one thing I wish she did differently was say the name of that reporter, Serge Kovaleski, instead of continuing – as everyone is – to refer to him as just ‘disabled reporter’. I did have to look up his name though. It just would have hurt Trump so much more if the great Meryl Streep said Serge’s name and not his. As it is though, she was fantastic and we don’t deserve her. And she ended beautifully too: “As my dear departed friend Princess Leia said to me once, take your broken heart and make it into art.” <\/div>\n