the main pool<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\nRound Hill has a great gym (included in the room rate thank goodness) that I super enjoyed, although it’s about a 15 minute walk around the beach from the main hotel block (and you have to pass the restaurant, so I’d see people I knew having breakfast and I’d be all sweaty). They also have a yoga pavilion next to the gym – which sounds amazing, right? Except the yoga classes are around $25 and it’s more like hot yoga since pavilions are outdoor structures. I was okay sticking to the gym.<\/p>\n\n\n\nthe fitness center and the yoga pavilion <\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\nnot pictured: a whole room with treadmills, hand weights, medicine balls, balance balls, all my faves<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\nthis tiny dip pool is in front of the fitness center, which I find funny<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\nThe whole fitness center complex also had a deluxe spa, which I did not use (cannot imagine how expensive the massages are) but I used the bathrooms during the wedding and they were super nice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/figure>\n\n\n\nAdmission: I didn’t actually go to the beach here. Eeeek. I mean I walked in it and put my foot in just to have done that, but when faced with a beach and a pool\/the chance to be sandy vs not sandy, I’m always going to pick pool. I should have had at least one beach day, I know. OOPSIE.<\/p>\n\n\n\nthere’s a ‘water sports’ hut on the grounds so you can go out on rafts and boats and kayak and stuff. lots I didn’t do!!<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\nin the mornings, you can also go for a ride on this glass-bottomed boat so you can see the fishies! It was at 9am I believe and so I did not. I’M ON VACATION.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\nSo as you can see, the Round Hill was pretty paradisical. The only drawback was that I was SUPER excited to play tennis every day and…I just couldn’t. It was too hot. I was shocked that the courts were always empty, but then the staff and Jamaican friends were like, uh yeah? People only play before the sun is up, otherwise YOU WILL DIE. I even had a lesson booked and everything but had to cancel because it was 1000 degrees. So sad! (And they were like oh thank god.) Aside from that, we had an amazing time, even though we aren’t really sit-by-the-side-of-the-pool-for-days-and-don’t-see-anything-of-the-land-you’re-in kinds of travelers. And we weren’t! We were the only guests to venture downtown into Montego Bay, even though we were told pretty much that “tourists stay in their resorts.” I must admit, everyone downtown was staring at us, with faces like WHAT are you doing, you lost? But the people we actually spoke to\/who fed us seemed happy to see us out and about. And we had to go, not only to see the real Jamaica and not just a resort, but to find the good vegan food.<\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/figure>\n\n\n\nRound Hill catered fine to my veganism, and I had some nice quinoa stir-fries and veggie stews. Also, if you are in the market for a destination wedding, their buffet at this wedding was incredible, and super vegan-friendly (and also really, really not) (you know what I mean, think Jason Segel in Forgetting Sarah Marshall <\/em>when he cries on the beach). But as I said, the food was supes expensive, and Montego Bay had several exciting vegan joints to check out anyway.<\/p>\n\n\n\nthe view from one of the restaurant areas. Every day at 4 or 5 there was tea time, where they had (complimentary!) sandwiches and cakes and cookies and stuff. Minted melon salad was the only vegan option but hey I’m down to clown for some fruit.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\nIt’s annoying to get downtown, because you probably aren’t renting a car (if you do you are nuts in that traffic and all-around lawlessness re traffic laws), and the resorts charge an arm and a leg to take you downtown, but that’s the way you have to do it. It’s such a racket. We planned on getting our own cabs once we were downtown, but we literally could not. Every single taxi we saw was a route taxi, meaning they fill up with lots of people and operate like a small bus. They weren’t taking us to our specific destinations, let alone back to the resort! So that’s just one annoyance you have to suck up. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
One morning, we had to go downtown anyway for the BEST MOST RIDICULOUS experience (with dogs) of all time, which will be its own (next) post. After that morning experience, we went straight to Millennium Victory<\/strong>, a vegan Rastafarian restaurant. It was THE BEST. <\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/figure>\n\n\n\nThere’s a long history of vegetarianism in Rastafari culture. It\u2019s called Ital food in the Rastafari tradition, derived from the word \u2018vital\u2019 but with no \u2018v\u2019, emphasizing the \u2018I\u2019 as it emphasizes the unity of each individual with nature. (Thanks wikipeeds.) It means food that\u2019s natural, pure, and from the earth. Ital food aims to increase \u201clivity\u201d, the life energy in all people. (That’s why that vegan raw dessert market stall in London is called Organic Livity, I am just now realizing; and yes the people who run it are Rasta.) Rastafari commonly believe that everything you put in your body should enhance livity and not reduce it. That means there\u2019s no chemicals or additives. It also can sometimes mean no salt, which is yikes (but often especially means no salt treated with iodine, which is yay for me), but this food was seasoned well and delicious. I would LOVE to go back here. <\/p>\n\n\n\nthe restaurant’s decor<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n <\/figure>\n\n\n\nWe asked the staff to decide for us, as everything on their big board menu sounded excellent. So they brought us two big plates of their best stuff, and everything was indeed excellent. We had jerk tofu (omg), roasted plantains and veg, all in amazing sauces. There were huge chunks of homemade seitan and sauteed ackee, the famous Jamaican fruit that whips up somehow just like eggs. AMAZING. I don’t remember everything else so just ask them to decide for you if you go, which you def should if in MB.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n <\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\nUGH IT WAS SO GOOD. We also got a melon skin juice, which was ace. There was a really friendly man eating at the table next to us who was like \u2018this melon skin juice is the best, you need to try it\u2019 and we were like \u2018we\u2019re okay thanks though\u2019 and he was like \u2018no I insist, I\u2019ll order it for you\u2019 and we were like \u2018ok thanks man!\u2019 and he really did just mean order it, not pay for it, it sounded like he was going to pay for it, but then the staff was like you need to pay for your juice, it was funny and also a Larry David moment. We also got Jamaican patties (like pasties\/hand pies but not flaky crusted, which is amazing for me because I don’t like buttery flaky things (I do know that this is weird)) filled with veggies to take away to have the next day. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
The best part of any hotel room is a fridge that’s empty <\/em>(not full of minibar crap you don’t want (or worse the kind of minibar where it charges you if you MOVE something? LET ME USE THE DAMN FRIDGE ASSHOLE)), and since we had one in our room, we went to a giant supermarket called Progressive, in a downtown mall, so we could stock up on snacks, fruit, breakfast foods, and drinks. <\/p>\n\n\n\nI forking love this supermarket. They had SO much vegan stuff, like an entire enormous aisle of non-dairy milks, a war chest of strange vegan meats that I’ve never seen before even in Chinese groceries, a juice\/smoothie bar, all kinds of great stuff. <\/p>\n\n\n\nwhat meat is batonette<\/figcaption><\/figure><\/li>all kinds of vegan whats<\/figcaption><\/figure><\/li>this is vegan corned beef WHAT<\/figcaption><\/figure><\/li>whole new to me vegan burger brand<\/figcaption><\/figure><\/li>the label says ‘Golden Vegan Balls’ hehe balls<\/figcaption><\/figure><\/li>did not buy because rum<\/figcaption><\/figure><\/li>did buy but didn’t try yet<\/figcaption><\/figure><\/li>we got chocolate almond milk to make oatmeal with it’s my best trick<\/figcaption><\/figure><\/li>i love ginger cookies but these aren’t very sweet honestly the Ikea ones are the best I’m serious<\/figcaption><\/figure><\/li><\/ul><\/figure>\n\n\n\nI had two ultimate favorite items from this shopping trip: one for its hilarious packaging that still makes me laugh, and one because it is g-d delicious. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
The funny one:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
TODAY’S JACKASS CORN! wat<\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\nTHIS SHIT IS INCREDIBLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! (and has protein!)<\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\nThe next restaurant we tried wasn’t vegetarian or vegan, but it had tons of vegan options. It was the kind of cafe you would find on every block in Malibu or something, with an extensive trendy menu, lots of green smoothies, and a yoga-studio vibe. I obviously loved it. DLE Cafe is right around the order from the Progressive market, btw. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
see like you’ve seen this place in beach towns right<\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\ngood advice, wall<\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\nI could tell you how extensive DLE Cafe’s menu was but I’m just going to show you so you can appreciate how difficult my decision was. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
this is my perfect sheet of paper<\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\nI don’t remember which green smoothie I got but obviously I got one, and it was great! I was annoyed to get a plastic cup since I drank it there, but I did have it while I was waiting for them to make the rest of my order which was takeaway so I guess that’s a good reason and prob my fault. The straw was paper though, which is good in theory but they disintegrate super fast. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\nHere’s just one of the food menu pages ugh I still can’t decide and I’m not even there. There’s a feeling long-time vegans know well, when you are used to not having much decision-making power and then you’re faced with a menu with so many options and you are like NO STOP IS TOO MUCH.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\nI decided on the ackee wrap because you must eat as much ackee as possible when in Jamaica it is a MAGIC fruit and I don’t understand why jackfruit blew up as pork and ackee hasn’t as eggs? Someone sell it! I also got the vegan mac & cheese because I’m a mac & cheese fanatic and also look at that menu it says “hands down this is probably the best mac you will ever have” and I was like “excuse me is it ‘hands down’ or is it ‘probably’ you can’t have it both ways this is like how my brother and I for some reason say ‘poss def’ all the time and no one gets it and for good reason! Anyway the mac was just okay. No pics because it was takeaway and the pictures I took were sad.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Lastly, poss def my favorite, was the Chabad Kosher Hot Spot. You say Chabad, you say Kosher, I hear hummus and I come running.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\nThe Hot Spot is an Israeli food joint right across the main road from Margaritaville (which apparently is the hottest place to party, even for locals, on a Tuesday night…or maybe it was Thursday…I don’t know because I didn’t go obvs but ask a local). We called in an order before our flight home so we could get it en route to the airport (smort!). The number on the website…is not the one to call. Somehow, when we called to place an order for HUMMUS, we heard “this is Rabbi x…?” THE RABBI PICKED UP. HAHAHAHHAHA. We apologized and were like sorry we were trying to reach the restaurant? and he was like ‘oh sure here’s their number!’ It’s all connected, the Chabad org and the restaurant, see all these Jews in Jamaica just want to make sure everyone who wants hummus can get the hummus, THAT’S ALL THEY WANT SO BE NICE. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\nwhy didn’t I buy this hat DAMMIT<\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\nWe did get our hummus, which was excellent, and our amazing flatbread, and Israeli salad and a jerk falafel wrap (that’s right) so yeah DEFFO a must in MoBay. Again, I’m not going to share takeaway pictures because yeesh and oh no. But trust me that everything was great! What a great find! When we told our driver where we wanted to stop, he was like ‘oh yeah I’ve heard of that place!’ and seemed excited so I hope he went and liked it. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
At the airport, leaving is much saner than arriving, and they have giant water bottles at most vendors! Huzzah! (Small water bottles are the devil’s playthings.) There’s also plenty of recognizable food outlets. I had my hummus and falafel but I did buy one non-water airport treat, a packet of moringa powder. You know I’m a sucker for all things superfood and apparently moringa is big in Jamaica. I had to buy it because a) it’s a Jamaican variety so that’s cool and b) the brand?? do you see the brand name? LOL. (Shavuot is a Jewish holiday.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n <\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\nSo that’s my time in Jamaica, my babies. I leave you with a Jamaican proverb, just one of the many such cards that housekeeping left on our pillows every night – literally the best part of the trip.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Don’t worry, I’m not gonna pull a Tom-Hanks’-least-fave-child and say anything else patois. Recently, we escaped the dreary dullness of a London winter and went to […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":11431,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[162],"tags":[192,191,194,190],"class_list":["post-11451","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-travel-d1","tag-jamaica","tag-travel","tag-vegan-montego-bay","tag-vegan-travel"],"yoast_head":"\n
Vegan in Jamaica? Yah Mon! - Laughfrodisiac<\/title>\n \n \n \n \n \n \n \n \n \n \n \n \n\t \n\t \n\t \n \n \n \n \n \n\t \n\t \n\t \n