{"id":11041,"date":"2019-10-17T15:52:27","date_gmt":"2019-10-17T15:52:27","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/laughfrodisiac.com\/?p=11041"},"modified":"2020-01-15T16:20:01","modified_gmt":"2020-01-15T16:20:01","slug":"the-son-an-effective-infuriating-tragic-look-at-awful-parenting","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/laughfrodisiac.com\/2019\/10\/17\/the-son-an-effective-infuriating-tragic-look-at-awful-parenting\/","title":{"rendered":"The Son: An Effective, Infuriating, Tragic Look at Awful Parenting"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

It\u2019s Theatre Thursday!\nToday\u2019s show is The Son, playing at <\/em>London<\/em>\u2019s Duke of <\/em>York<\/em>\u2019s Theatre until Nov. 2.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

As my girl Tahani says in Season One of The Best Show, \u201cAs\nthe Brits say, do your best to hide your sadness.\u201d I thought this was supposed\nto be a joke, but I\u2019ve seen the British parenting styles of the \u2018chin-up\u2019 and the\n\u2018be brave and soldier on\u2019 and the \u2018keep calm and carry on\u2019 varieties practiced\ntoo often in UK\nculture to brush it off. These terrible ways to parent are on full, stunning\ndisplay in the play The Son<\/em>. Sure,\nit\u2019s a French play by Florian Zeller but I guess the French are like that too\n(I know I know #notallFrench\/#notallBrits), and Christopher Hampton\u2019s\ntranslation is a gripping, excruciatingly frustrating and effective teardown of\nthese types of horrible parents and the inexcusable disservice they do their\nchildren.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s also so, so British in the characters\u2019 ignorance of\nmental illness, both in not understanding it and in flat out ignoring it; we\nget both fun treatments of the serious problem. In The Son<\/em>, Pierre and Anna are recently divorced, and their teenage\nson Nicolas is not doing well. Sure, a lot of his unhappiness is from the\ndivorce, and the fact that Pierre\nmoved in with the other woman, Sofia, and their new baby. That\u2019s rough for\nanyone. But Nicolas\u2019s problems are not just teenage angst or misery at the\ndisintegration of his family. His issues are deeper rooted, not an inability to\nhandle the divorce but an inability to handle life (and he says that!\nrepeatedly!), one that is so obviously a serious mental illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s understandable that Pierre and Anna would want to assume\nthe best and try to help their son be happy in breezy ways. But their ease in\nignoring an enormous problem is unforgivable. When someone skips school for a\nfew weeks, even a month, you yell at them. When someone skips school for three\nmonths and has nervous breakdowns at the thought of going back, or doing really\nanything, you need a professional. When you can\u2019t even count the scars, healing\nand newly bleeding, on your son\u2019s arm because there are just too many, you\ndon\u2019t yell at him that he needs to stop that. Well, Pierre\ndoes, because he\u2019s a bad father. If there ever existed a clearer sign that you\nneed to take your son to a doctor, I don\u2019t know what it is. The fact that only\none parent mentions professional help literally MONTHS into his serious\ndepression is the most shocking part of this show, which, if you\u2019ve seen it,\nsays a lot. And that paltry attempt went something like this: Pierre\n(yelling): \u201cWell if you won\u2019t talk to me about it, do you want to talk\nto\u2026someone else?\u201d (HE MEANS A DOCTOR! YAYYY FINALLY, I THOUGHT!) Nicolas: \u201cNo.\u201d\nPierre: \u201cOkay.\u201d I LITERALLY ALMOST\nSTORMED THE STAGE. And these are well-to-do people; it\u2019s not that they couldn\u2019t\nafford or \u2018don\u2019t do\u2019 doctors. If you have a huge grand piano in your shiny\nwhite flat, you can afford a consultation. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pierre\u2019s not the\nonly shittastic adult onstage. Anna, this poor kid\u2019s mother, is completely\nunaware of what\u2019s needed as well. At one point, after moving in with his\nfather, Nicolas thinks maybe he should move back in with mom. He shyly asks his\nown mother if that would be okay. And instead of shouting \u2018yes of course!\u2019 or\ngiving her clearly suffering son a hug, Anna responds with \u201cOh I thought you\nwere getting on well at your father\u2019s?\u201d and \u201cwhat happened to make you want to\nmove?\u201d SHITTASTIC. And Sofia might\nbe the worst of all (I mean she\u2019s not but they all are?), worrying about what\nNicolas\u2019s moving in with her new fam means for her upcoming holiday to Italy.\nAnd, of course, never saying that he needs a g-d doctor. You know it\u2019s going to\nbe tragic because of their stupidity, and the entire ending + Next to Normal<\/em>-like coda was all so\nwrenching I could hear my heart beating. I may have been furious the entire\nshow, but that\u2019s not boring, and this was some effective theatre. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Saying they were oblivious<\/em>\nand saying his need for real help was obvious<\/em>\nfeels so insufficient to describe this situation. It was like an elephant was\non that stage sitting on top of Nicolas and we\u2019re all sitting there pointing to\nit and shouting \u2018there\u2019s an elephant!\u2019 and Nicolas is like \u2018I feel like there\u2019s\nan elephant on me\u2019 and the adults are telling Nicolas he should really sit up\nstraighter. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

And Nicolas, hoo boy. Laurie Kynaston\u2019s performance is\ngutting. I felt tormented watching this poor boy go through this experience\nwith no real lifelines available to him. He full inhabits this character and I\nnever once considered him outside the character. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

That all the adults were so inept, so oblivious to what was needed, was frustrating, yes, beyond belief, but also so effective in showing how society (and specific anti-mental-health cultural norms) continuously fails victims. The only problem I have is\u2026I don\u2019t know if all this was Zeller\u2019s aim, to show that the parents failed here. I hope it was, because it\u2019s obvious. But if his goal was for this play to simply remark on how difficult mental illness is and how \u2018we don\u2019t know where it comes from\u2019, then I\u2019m lost, because the whole point of understanding mental illness is that it doesn\u2019t \u2018come from\u2019 an easy excuse, it\u2019s a medical condition with scientific and not social roots and needs a doctor just as cancer does. I\u2019m going to believe Zeller intended to give his audiences credit for knowing this and that we\u2019re all on the same page, but given that the people in my audience were likely parents of the styles mentioned at the start, I worry that they didn\u2019t learn the right lesson. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

INFORMATION<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

The show is 1 hour 45 minutes with no interval. It feels\nlike a lifetime but not in a bad way. Just bring water because you will\ndehydrate from sweating out all the anxiety.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Duke of York\u2019s Theatre (I hate the apostrophe) has the Royal\n Circle (the mezzanine) at street level; the stalls\nare downstairs. The circle is pretty small, maybe 8 rows? The ladies room is\nright outside the House Right circle door. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

TodayTix has rush tickets for \u00a315, which is an insane value\nfor this very good play, especially if measured in cardiovascular activity. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It\u2019s Theatre Thursday! Today\u2019s show is The Son, playing at London\u2019s Duke of York\u2019s Theatre until Nov. 2. As my girl Tahani says in Season One […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":11044,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[147],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"\nThe Son: An Effective, Infuriating, Tragic Look at Awful Parenting - Laughfrodisiac<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/laughfrodisiac.com\/2019\/10\/17\/the-son-an-effective-infuriating-tragic-look-at-awful-parenting\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"The Son: An Effective, Infuriating, Tragic Look at Awful Parenting - Laughfrodisiac\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"It\u2019s Theatre Thursday! 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