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Madrid: It’s Pretty Awesome Even If You Don’t See Penelope & Javier

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  I first went to Madrid, Spain about a decade ago. During my study abroad year (in Florence), I took a whirlwind 18-hour trip to Madrid to visit one of my best friends from high school. All I had was a spare Saturday night in the middle of my insane solo spring break tour of Spain (it was insane because it was solo, not because I went clubbing in Barcelona because I didn’t) and so hopped over to Madrid for dinner with my friend, then sleep, and then a first-in-line sprint through the Prado. 
     This year, I visited for the second time, and luckily was able to almost triple the length of time spent in this glorious city! That is, a regular weekend. We were there for two main reasons: 
to see Audra McDonald in concert (can’t break my 15-year streak of seeing her live every year!) and to eat at a Michelin-starred restaurant. (The latter will come in the next post.) But Madrid is such a fun, cosmopolitan, modern city that we barely had enough time to cover the basics. 

   This time, we went in the middle of winter, which in London is blah, nothing really compared to the East Coast blizzards, and so we assumed that Spain of all places would be even warmer. Well. It was not. I think it was colder than our trip to northern Sweden. Okay it probably wasn’t but it felt like it because it felt so wrong! I mean you think Spain, you think Peeny Lopay in shorts and sunglasses. Oh man it was cold. Anyway, we had a short list of must-check vegan-friendly spots, museums, and churreria.  (That’s the word for a place that sells churros! We learn so much on this blog!) 
   First thing, I must confess that whenever I am in Spain (or around Spanish speaking people, or watching Episode 2 of ‘Community’), this is playing on a loop in my head:
(Crying.) ME LLAMO ELLIOTT! HOLA JUAN. HOLA ESTEBAN. DONDE ESTA LA BIBLIOTECA?

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   One of my favorite things about European cities is that almost all feature some random adorable statue or site. My favorite in Madrid is this bear statue (it’s the BEAR show!) and the bear is kissing a tree. I mean. IT’S SO CUTE. Here I am in front of it trying to open my eyes in the freezing wind. (It took a lot of shots to get one where my eyes are open. Who knew I’d need ski goggles in España.) Apparently this statue is the most famous symbol of Madrid! Didn’t know! Cool! It’s called El Oso y El Madroño (The Bear & the Strawberry Tree), and the bear is actually eating the strawberries, not kissing the tree, but I like my interpretation better because I am a treehugger. Cute little bear! You can find this statue at Puerta de Sol. Ha yeah right. Sol.   

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     I was delighted to see a poster for a demonstration against the use of animals in the circus — I think I’m reading that correctly. Unfortunately, it was more than a month past, but cool! Good job Madrid animal activists! 
    Now, everyone will tell you to go to the Prado Museum when you are in Madrid. I am okay with that. The Prado is a very nice museum with very important arts. However, I’m pretty sure you should stop there. The Reina Sofia made me angry. With a name like that, I expected refined arts, but it was more like insane modern arts. There was one room that was all computer keyboards and equipment and stuff. Just like out on tables. I don’t get. Reina Sofia does have Picasso’s Guernica, so that is worth seeing, although it’s kind of horrifying. 
   Among the museums we visited, I was struck by some truly haunting works. I don’t normally condone taking pictures in museums (even if it’s allowed, it’s still weird. Like, better pictures exist than what you are taking with your phone), but I had to remember some of this weird stuff and discuss how weird it is. Also, I took pictures of all the paintings with puppies, because you can’t stop me. My comments are in the captions. 

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This worm guy who is all nose is DOBBY THE HOUSE ELF, correct???
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Creepy pedo is like “LOOK HOW LOVELY MY FOOT IS!” And Charlie (of the Chocolate Factory) is like gimme a break, dad.
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100% this is the creepiest f-ing guy to ever be in any art, ever. What a creepster! That face is the face of an unapologetic felon.
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JANE FONDA WITH AN ADORABLE LITTLE PUPPY!!!! I was staring at this one for like an hour. PUPPIEEEE! With JANE FONDA! WTF!
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Little doggy!!!!
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“Check out this tiny lamb sitting on the book on my shoulder.” “Sorry, I’m a little distracted by the one-foot-tall priest between our feet. Did you invite him?”

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   What was my favorite piece of art that I saw in Madrid? Obviously the Bob Esponja poster! Husband and I are still saying ‘Bob Esponja!’ much too frequently. Also, is Antonio Banderas the voice of Spongebob??? That can’t be. So what is he doing with top billing? So confused. No, not confused. Intrigued.
     Honestly? With only two real days in Madrid, all we had time to do was a bunch of museums (of which you have been treated to their masterpieces above), a lot of cold strolling, and some great food. The next two blog posts will cover two restaurants specifically, one basic (I mean that in the current use of the word. I think. I don’t really get it.) and one epic, but let’s look at a few treats now. 

  First, if you are vegan, you want green juice, right? Because that’s all we drink! No but I love green juice. So we stayed at the Hotel Preciados at Plaza Santo Domingo, which was very nice but our room was tiny. Like tiiiiny. But they had green apples at reception which is okay. I don’t like green apples but I do like free apples. The best part of this hotel was that right next door (well next 4 doors) was a juice bar! Whee!! It was called Juicy Avenue and the menu unfortunately hyped the greener juices as the ‘Juicy Detox’ section, but I will give them a soft pass for maybe a language barrier. Lord knows i have one. So the juices were pretty good! The lady working the morning shift didn’t speak English and couldn’t help me with translations but I think we did okay. It helped that the names seemed to be in English, while the ingredients were in Spanish. And most words are easy to figure out. Yay juice!

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  Next, if you have ever heard Spanish words, I’m sure you have heard of patatas bravas. I’m pretty sure it means brave little potaters. This staple dish consists of fried potatoes in a spicy tomato sauce. As is, it is usually vegan. Hooray! And it’s also addictive. Who doesn’t love spicy fried potatoes? You can get these at most tapas places. There are a few big food markets around Madrid, mostly with fish and meat vendors, but I always managed to find someone selling patatas bravas. 

    It was also pretty easy to find vegan snacks in random storefronts. We randomly found these delicious empanadas and some sort of stuffed bread that were marked as ‘vegana’ in a deli we stopped in to buy water. It was called ‘deliGatessen’ and was such a treat to discover! 
   Lastly, the most important thing to eat in Madrid/anywhere in Spain/anywhere you are is churros! Fried dough sticks! Churros themselves are usually vegan. I mean, it’s sticks of dough deep-fried in oil and then covered in sugar. That’s as vegan as it gets. Madrid’s most famous churreria is Chocolateria San Gines, and it’s worth paying a visit. It’s always packed, I think open round the clock, and they have fast service down to a science. As best as I could communicate, I figured out that their churros are vegan. However, as is usually the case, the chocolate sauce is not. Churros doused with cinnamon and sugar are usually pretty good though. DOUBLE however, if you go to San Gines, make sure you know how to ask in Spanish for no chocolate sauce but YES sugar and cinnamon. You have to specify; I did not know. I got plain fried dough. No sugar. It was really sad. (And made me feel very sick and icky!) 
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Churros? More like Sad-o’s. I’ll work on it.
   Sooo, that’s pretty much how we spent a weekend in Madrid, minus the most important parts. As we already discussed, the major reason was seeing Audra the Queen of Everything in concert. QUEEN. Oh crap, now every time I say the word ‘queen’ I hear Jada saying it. Here is a picture of me in my balcony seat at the gorgeous Teatro Real.
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No, the cold wind wasn’t blowing in here as well; it’s just that 9 pictures out of 10 my eyes will be closed. Life.
The OTHER major reason for our weekend trip was to eat at a super-insanely-special restaurant that will be posted soon! Make sure to check for that because it was epic. And make sure that, if you go to Madrid, to go for more than 18 hours or just one weekend because it is a great city. And the more time you spend there, the higher your chances of seeing Peeny and Javy. 
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