London’s In the Height of the Storm: Jonathan Pryce & Eileen Atkins Break Your Heartsby Randi / November 15, 2018British Stereotype Overload: Afternoon Tea at the Ritz (Vegan Version!)
Most Americans and other non-Brits, when they think of England, think of fancy tea parties, the royal family, and wypipo in big ass hats. Especially when they think of London, ho boy; in their imagination it’s some exalted, clean (lol) city with proper and polite people in tailored clothes, fabulous accents, and yes more big ass hats. Since I am an American living in London, I can tell you that all of that is such utter horseshit that I’m laughing at my own words like Jimmy Fallon when he was on SNL. London, although I love it, is like most big cities that usually smell of piss or sewage (the plumbing is likely the original from the 19th century and is in rull need of a refurb) and instead of fancy people in fancy hats, the folks you’ll run into most often are lads (white boys from 18-35 who act like they are 17 and under) who are a few sips away from being black-out drunk, and they’re vomiting on the sidewalks even during daylight (which is a real feat considering we don’t have much of that this time of year (daylight, I mean; we have plenty of drunk ass lads)). And I never see people out in fancy hats in the city. However, one part of the stereotype rang true for me recently: I went to a fancy ass afternoon tea at a fancy ass hotel. And we liked it, and we loved it. In that beautiful dining room, surrounded by dressed up people generally behaving themselves, it felt like the London of ill-informed Americans’ dreams.
This delightful occasion arose due to a friend’s visit. I asked what she wanted to do in London and she said “go to a fancy tea!” and I said “yay!” and she said “let’s go to the Ritz like the real classic high tea!” and I said “I didn’t know they could do it vegan!” (we’re both vegan) and she said “I saw reports!” and I said “I’ll email them just to be sure!” and she said “I will too!” and the Ritz told us “we can do vegan!” and I said “Why wouldn’t you put that information on your website so vegans know that you are an option and also why wouldn’t you be publicizing the fork out of your ability to accommodate vegans when London’s dining scene is like completely controlled by and catered to vegans right now (and rightfully so)?” Okay I didn’t say that but I’m going to because they should be allll about the vegan clientele; we run this city. WHO RUN THIS CITY? Vegans. Anyway, some of you more in-the-know tea fans might have caught a mistake in my very accurate portrayal of my convo with my friend: “High tea” is not what we were after. What many people think of as ‘high tea’ is really ‘afternoon tea’, with the little finger sandwiches with no crusts (‘crusts are for the poor!’ – English people) and scones and decadent desserts. That’s afternoon tea. High tea means like, regular dinner food. It comes from when working classes, who unlike the upper class jabronies couldn’t take hours out of their afternoons to share a prissy tea service with little cakes and shit with their behatted neighbors to talk about how hard it is to find good help, would instead drink their tea together after work, and that’s when they’d need their big evening meal. That’s why so many non-Londoners call dinner “tea”, because that’s when they eat regular dinner food. (They also don’t call dinner ‘dinner’ it’s usually really tea or supper (gag) or sometimes they call lunch dinner and I’m going to just drop it before my head splodes.)
walking through The Ritz like I’m ‘portant
So, anyway, here we are, it’s afternoon tea and The Ritz, the famous classic hotel on Piccadilly, which according to wikipedia is “one of the world’s most prestigious and best-known hotels”, does it up for us vegan-style. I’ll be honest; I had low expectations. Even though they said they could do a proper tea with vegan goodies, I’ve been disappointed by super fancy expensive places before. In fact, they’re the places that most frequently disappoint with their ‘vegan accommodation’. So I was excited for this afternoon tea, but I was expecting to drag them for offering sub-par vegan fare. Well GUESS WHO’S DOING THE DRAGGING NOW. I mean, no one, that doesn’t make any sense I guess because it was AWESOME. All the food was delicious, we had scones, we had incredible cakes and what nots. Guys, if you wanna visit, I would go back with you. It was FANTASTIC. (Just so you know, the aforementioned visiting friend treated me to the experience AND brought Beyond Sausages over, I mean not that you have to meet such a high bar if you visit, no not at all, I’m just sharing so you know it’s an option for you.)
Oh also, the bathroom in the hotel was the nicest. They even had glass water bottles and glasses out in the little sitting area. I didn’t take pictures in the bathroom because I’m not a total weirdo but here are some more interior shots before we get to the food.
STRANGER DANGER
When we arrived, they took our name and led us to our table, but they apparently misheard the name because our main waiter thought we were a Birthday Table at first and not the Vegan Table. Luckily I told him before too long ‘you know we are both the vegans right we confirmed like several times right you are ready for us?’ so he was like ‘ohhh okay your name is X not what I thought I heard’ and I was like BRING ME TINY SANDWICHES and, reader, he did. It took longer to get water (fancy places and their hatred of bringing me tap water!) but hey sandwiches!
Each of the five types of vegan sandwich options were superb, which is something I never thought I’d say. Like Joey, I love sandwiches, but not like regular soft-bread sandwiches, what even are those? If we’re talking sandwiches, I’m talking loaded banh mis (banhs mi?), meatball subs, hoagies with all kinds of shit falling out of it, like legit sangwiches, with a g. Not simple sliced bread from a plastic bag at the supermarket with invisible fillings; that’s some minor league bullshit. But these little baby finger sandwiches were delicious, even without shit falling out of them like I like.
The five vegan options were:
- olive tapenade and artichoke. I mean, amazing pair. I did not expect such an awesome option, I really just expected cucumber sandwiches. So this was such a great surprise and it was made perfectly.
- tomato. I don’t really love raw tomatoes and yet this was wonderful, probably because it was salted the best amount and the tomatoes were really good. It was such a pleasant lil sang.
- the classic cucumber and margarine. Man, I didn’t know adding margarine could elevate the simplest thing to being amazing, like what on earth this had no business being so good it was cucumber and MARGARINE and yet it was perfection??
- red pepper and hummus. As you probably know I really don’t like red pepper, but hummus is my #1 food on earth, so this pairing was tearing me apart Lisa! But putting aside my personal preferences, it is a really smart pairing, and the peppers were cooked (so, soft and not crunchy/raw) and it was pretty great. (I only had one though.)
- avocado. Probably my favorite, the sandwich version of avocado toast (lolz) with the best ingredient ever (avocado) plus the second best (salt). SO GOOD.
We were unsure whether the ticket price included endless rounds of anything, but they brought us an extra layer of sandwiches even before we could ask! And then we were too full to bother asking for more/being wasteful gluttons so we called it. But I am pretty sure you can ask for more of anything you want.
me oh my i love sandwiches
Next up to bat, the scones! We were so dang excited that they had vegan scones to begin with, so we weren’t too sad that they didn’t have vegan clotted cream to go with them. Honestly, I don’t really know what clotted cream is so I’m not too distraught over not having a vegan version yet. Eating them with margarine and strawberry jam seemed great anyway. The scones were a little tough but still good. Yay scones!
We had two scones each and we were hurting. It didn’t seem like a lot of food but I guess when you are drinking all that tea you get full! Oh yeah we ordered tea, but that’s the least important aspect of A Tea. (I had a floral one? and friend had a Chinese one? who cares about the tea?)
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Okay, next came the desserts. Looking around the room, everyone else had their top tier full of macarons (the fancy French meringue-y little circle sandwich looking jawns (is that the best definition anyone has ever given), not macaroons, which are the coconut balls popular for Passover). Now, some of you might be sad at not getting macarons, but honestly, despite how gorgeous they are, they leave me cold. They require sooo much effort to make (anyone experimenting over on the Aquafaba Experiments facebook group can tell you that) and they taste like sort of sweet cardboard. And the consistency hurts my teeth and my brain, yeesh. So I was pretty fine with not getting macarons like the rest of the room. But more importantly — I think the vegan dessert options were better than the regular! So everyone else had macarons and like a boring looking tart or whatever. We had shiny little chocolate fudge concoctions that were literally among the best desserts ever. The regular menu doesn’t include chocolate anything! Vegan version for the win.
I know this is like the same image but a different size but now is the time to focus on the chocolate at the top AT THE TOP
The shiny chocolate half moon was the richest, densest fudge, and a superthick layer of it to boot. That would have been enough to send me over the moon, but inside the chocolate part was a sort of banana pudding. It was AMAZ. Seriously I don’t understand why this isn’t just on their regular menu. Nothing in that room was better than it!
Well, except maybe the banana walnut cake.
When we started onto the desserts, another waiter asked us how everything was and we were like damn, this chocolate masterpiece is a masterpiece. And HE said, ‘oh it’s fine but the banana walnut is my favorite’ and we were like ‘whoooo on earth likes a banana bread jawn more than anything chocolate, especially THIS chocolate?’ But honestly, it was probably the best banana bread/cake I’ve ever had. That guy was right. It was absolutely amazing. Okay get ready becaues I’m going to use the word everyone hates, but I have never had a cake that was as moist as this banana bread. And – confession – I didn’t eat it at the table because I got too full. I took it home and had it the next day. And it was still the moistest (sorry) and super delicious, man alive.
Then a waiter started going around the room with the dessert cart, which is full of even more options that the regular menu people could choose from. We said to each other ‘oh well, I guess that’s kind of disappointing that we can’t do the super-extra-gluttonous part of picking even more dessert from the extravagant cart, but we’re kind of full anyway’, but then the guy stopped and gave us each a piece of cake! He said this was the extra vegan addition, a pound cake sort of thing with raspberry. We so excited!
It was a little bit dry, but still good, and hey we’re not looking an extra gift cake in the mouth.
Overall, it was a wonderful experience. Even though there are several all-vegan teas being publicized around London, I would totally go back to the non-vegan Ritz – for a special occasion. And I wish I could order the chocolate and banana desserts for parties! It was so special to be able to enjoy this classic/stereotypical English experience. And now when people say ‘oh you live in London? Do you go to fancy teas all the time and eat little sandwiches?’ I’m going to tip my enormous hat and say ‘You bet your bloomin’ ass I do!’ And so can you.
the moistest cake ever is in that box HAHA I SAID IT AGAIN
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Persepolis: Christmas Feast at London’s Best Restaurant
When I say Persepolis, you say…! If anything comes to your mind along the lines of an ancient city or a graphic novel or a movie about a graphic novel before you think ‘tiny magical resto-shoppe in Peckham’, then you are doing life wrong. Unless you wrote/drew that graphic novel or got a doctorate about that ancient city, then you get a pass. But for the rest of you diddadoofs, it’s the best restaurant in all of England, probably all of Europe if I may say so myself and if I may still consider England a part of Europe because I refuse to acknowledge that the entire world is falling to pieces. But food! Delicious, amazing, Iranian vegan food!
Almost exactly one year ago, I had one of the best meals of my entire life at Persepolis. You can read about it here and you should because I was funny. Every year since at least last year, Persepolis does a big Christmas feast for $30 (do I have to repeat again that when talking about stuff in the UK I mean for that $ to mean pound-dollars so please just read all $ as pound signs I don’t have the timeeee to figure out a workable alternative that fits my vision), and as you’ll see (or as you’ve seen) the food you get is worth so much more than that, both in terms of quality and quantity. It’s the best deal and the best food. Now, last year’s Chrimble feast was top 3 best meals ever, I think, for me. It set a standard that would be nigh impossible to ever match, and subsequently, this year’s was not as magnificent. As a feast, it wasn’t as well structured or cohesive as before, but the dishes were all still great. The famed chef, Sally (whose new cookbook named Persepolis should already be in your possession), told us at the start that she was forgoing the advertised feast menu (which is really just a ‘suggestion’ for her) and making us whatever came to her mind. This is the best way to have her cook for you, but the drawbacks of this method, which were inevitably going to expose themselves eventually, did indeed expose themselves. I made you think of something dirty didn’t I. Everything was very good, but as a meal it was a little disjointed. Nothing really felt like a main course. Luckily, it was a much more reasonable amount of food than last year, and we were joyous throughout instead of sobbing in first-world-problem pain.
As is custom, we started with Mr Shopkeeper’s (as Sally calls her husband) famous pomegranate-prosecco cocktail, which even I will admit is among the least disgusting alcohol mixtures I’ve ever tasted. I managed to catch all the pomegranate beads (that’s what they’re called) in only 2 sips before I gave the rest to the drinkers to finish! Success! Then, we enjoyed the Christmas crackers strewn about the table and pulled the strange little explosive paper toys with glee. This is a thing here. You pull on it like a wishbone, although it’s much less cruel. Instead of a wish which any idiot gets on their birthday anyway, whoever takes away the bigger portion gets the hidden prize inside. As luck would have it, I won my round and was elated to find a useful tool inside instead of a shit plastic toy or some such nonsense. Prize pictured below.
YASS TWEEZERS SO USEFUL
I feel like this prize (nail clippers were also used as prizes) demonstrates the ethos of the owners pretty well.
After a bit of a wait, as is customary here because of the lack of a real kitchen (Sally makes everything on like a single burner and a tiny little counter), the fabulous starters arrived. The starter-type dishes at Persepolis are the constants, nothing very new here, but they are great. First we got a plate of makdous – pickled stuffed eggplant, with two types of olives and peter pipers joining it. Another plate was a pasta salad with beet and an amazing bean salad, all topped with lots of fresh herbs. Then a third plate was half ajvar – a Serbian red pepper puree – and half soy yogurt. Both condiments were very impressive, although they are just condiments and would have been better served with noncondiments. But we had lavash, so all is well!
Next up was the best part of the meal, the famous fried ball plate. Or really the kibbeh and falafel plate but it was three types of fried-ball-change and it was amazing as usual. The homemade falafel, sweet potato patties, and the walnut kibbeh (the best) were all in fine form, but what sent it over the edge was the 3 sauces served with it. One was a fattet tahini sauce (that’s what it’s called I’m told I’m not being rude) that I would put on everything ever, better than the tahini sauces I make (almost every single day). Next was a garlic yogurt sauce that worked really well with the fryness. And last was a Persian curry, bright and a little sour and super effective at cutting the heaviness of the balls. I especially enjoyed using all three sauces at once though I fear admitting this will get me barred from returning.
The appetizer/main hybrid dishes started coming out next (could successfully argue either side), starting with stuffed tomatoes. Sally came out to ask us if we’d had the Violife Mozzarella yet, because she loves it and used it in the tomatoes. A mixture of spices, rice, and the mozzarella filled the tomatoes, and they were pretty good, although the tomato itself seemed unadorned and so tasted like hot tomato.
It kind of looks like ribs here ah
The next dish was one of my faves because it was the most innovative of the meal. This super soft, sort of charred eggplant was covered in a sticky chili cinnamon sauce and stuffed with dates and nuts and it was beyond. You didn’t need a knife for it. And some bites would be syruppy and kind of sweet and then the next would be super hot from the chili. Such a fun game! This reminded me the most of last year’s meal, and so made me a little sad that it was the only such reminder of the usual innovation. Persepolis is the one place where I actually enjoy dried fruit as part of savory dishes. Or dried fruit at all, really. What Sally does with dates is pure genius. I would never think to cook them with eggplant, or with tofu like in her famous tofu scramble. It’s so incredible and creative.
voila! breakfast!
The next two dishes, our main features, were both grain based, and so I think that’s the reason why I was less impressed overall because I prefer beany and veggie things over dishes that showcase grains. It was a lot of grain, like in the pyramids. They were both of course delicious though. First was almost like a breakfast muesli (as opposed to any other kind of muesli (well I guess here we have dinner muesli)), with pearly bulgur (or spelt, or really it could be any non-rice grain I’m not an expert), black dates, raisins (or sultanas, I guess), slivered almonds, and any other assortment of dried fruit and nuts along with edible flower petals. Sugar dates! Sugar dates and figs! Sugar dates and pistachios! A pot of yogurt in the center really solidified the breakfast vibe. It was super delicious, spicy and warm and cinnamony, but definitely more of a breakfast dish in my estimation, rather than the main event at a meal like this. Dates in my eggplant represent about the limit of my tolerance for sweet food masquerading as non-desserts.
The second half of the grain event (DO YOU GET IT) was a traditional Persian jeweled rice dish, which I was super happy to finally get to try. Flavorful rice was mixed with fresh herbs and pomegranate seeds, with another container of yogurt in the center. I must say, this meal featured more yogurt than John Stamos’s fridge. I’m not a yogurt fan, but it’s really good and useful to cut intense spices or heavy fried foods. A pleasant rice dish, not so much. But as a side dish, I would love it. I do love pomegranate seeds despite the morbid mythological connotations (same joke different year).
Sally came over when we finished these grains and asked how we were doing. She said if we were full, she would bring dessert next, or if we still wanted to try savory food, she’d bring that day’s hot pot for us to try. I was kinda upset that we hadn’t had any main event dishes, or beans. I need teh proteins. My companions all agreed to try the hot pot, and luckily it was a split pea carrot stew. It was decent, similar to the kind of soup I make weekly. It came with a little cucumber salad and – you guessed it! – more rice and yogurt. I guess there was a theme! I’m glad we tried this extra dish, because as always we needed to build up our regular food foundation as much as possible to prepare for the onslaught of sugar that was to follow. Otherwise your body would splode from all the sugar. All the sugar. So much sugar.
So about that sugar! Sally’s dessert platters are among her most impressive skills. She always gives us way too much and we finish it anyway, and it’s always freaking amazing. Turkish delight, paklava, halvah, syruppy flaky pastries and nut-filled bars of unknown origin and name, it’s all wonderful and despite being so much and so sweet, even those of us with the smallest sweet tooth still eat it till it’s gone. This time, Sally also gave us little ice cream sundaes covered with bright pink sugary rose water to accompany the more solid sources of sugar. OH man! It was all soooo good. Oh and don’t forget the dates and the little cup of cotton candy! Man alive. Wilford Brimley is PISSED.
Just when we thought we were done and could start trying to breathe again, Sally came out with ANOTHER dessert platter. Luckily, it was mostly fruit, but still! I think I ate all the pomegranate and watermelon. In the center is a yogurty custard kind of thing that you eat with the pomegranate chili syrup to its left. That syrup was something else! Such an interesting and detailed flavor, reminding us of the chili sugar powder mix that would come with fresh fruit from stalls in Thailand. Oh man.
So dessert definitely stood out for me as the strongest part of the meal. Well aside from the kibbeh plate and all those glorious sauces. And the eggplant was so good. Well overall it was a great meal. I may have lots of quibbles about it not being as good as least year for my taste or as full o’ beans, but still, we’re still talking great food.
PERSEPOLIS, PECKHAM, LONDON
Water speed: In a shocking surprise twist, a new waitress brought us carafes of tap and kept em coming! What a delight.
Service: As I’ve said before, it’s a true slow food experience, much more so than those fakers up in California. But they are the nicest people and it’s always worth the wait. The new waitress means it is sometimes easier to flag down assistance, except of course when it’s crowded, which it often is.
Bathrooms: There is still one! The light cord is right in the doorway so it kind of kept getting caught in my hair so that was fun.
Food: So good. Nothing can top last year and the feast felt more like a lot of side dishes but still, delicious amazing side dishes.
Bonus: Pretty much endless dessert, and it’s all the best.
Water speed: In a shocking surprise twist, a new waitress brought us carafes of tap and kept em coming! What a delight.
Service: As I’ve said before, it’s a true slow food experience, much more so than those fakers up in California. But they are the nicest people and it’s always worth the wait. The new waitress means it is sometimes easier to flag down assistance, except of course when it’s crowded, which it often is.
Bathrooms: There is still one! The light cord is right in the doorway so it kind of kept getting caught in my hair so that was fun.
Food: So good. Nothing can top last year and the feast felt more like a lot of side dishes but still, delicious amazing side dishes.
Bonus: Pretty much endless dessert, and it’s all the best.
Eating Vegan and Living it UP in Muscat, Oman
As you saw in the Oman travel posts, we had a wonderful time in Muscat and the amazing sites Wadi Shab and Bimmah Sinkhole. But I know what you really care about, because it’s what I really care about (“that’s who I am, and that’s who I care about”): FOOD! and HOTELS! Specifically, how easy is it to eat vegan in Oman? Where should I eat and where should I stay? How many pools can one human swim in over just a few days? As always, I’m here to tell you the truth about traveling here. We ate well, as you always should be able to when in the Middle East (hello have you heard of hummus? because I am 60% hummus). And we stayed well. While our first hotel – a city-center base for the busy sightseeing days – was just fine, we then moved onto a fancypants resort for literally the first time in our lives. It was glorious. You’ll see! (“OR YOU’LL PACK!”)(anyone who says the next line gets a gift.)
First, let’s talk about the food in Muscat. It’s not exactly a vegan hotspot, but as I said, it’ll be semi-easy to find your standard Middle Eastern classics. You definitely won’t go hungry, but, like so many places that aren’t European cities, knowing some good tips will help enormously. My first tip is the most important one, and really the only one you need if, like me, you’re happy to eat hummus at every meal. Your first order of business when you arrive in Muscat is to find Arax, a small regular-ol’ falafel joint in a shopping center. It’s literally my favorite restaurant in Oman. We tried basically the entire menu (and it was a pretty extensive menu for a counter-ordery place, like a kebab shop. I mean I guess it is a kebab shop).
I can think of nothing more appropriate branding-wise considering how loudly and often I sneeze
would people buy laughfro tissues y/n
Arax lives in the Oasis Centre, Shatti Al Qurum, a shopping center right on the beach that’s filled with restaurants, shops, and even a Costa Coffee! Just like home! Except for the beach part. Oasis’s parking lot is a nightmare, since the center (centre) is basically tons of shops and restaurants around a giant, cramped parking lot and drivers here aaaaaare aggressive, so be warned. Since our first hotel (below) was right next to the shopping center, we thought it would be easier to walk there, but we forgot that this region in the Middle East is often not made for pedestrians. They really don’t expect people to walk! I guess because of the heat? But still! Let us walk! So frustrating. It was like trying to leave a Vegas casino, trying to walk what should have been 5 minutes just next door.
We checked the menus at every restaurant in the centre, and while most had vegetarian options, few were actually vegan-friendly. Enter Arax, with its reliable staples of hummus, pita, falafel, foul, everything you could want. The falafel wraps were good, the hummus is good, the fried cauliflower and pickles and fries and tahini sauce and fun fresh juices, all so good. I definitely recommend the lemon mint juice they do. Pictured below is one of the amazing-looking-but-too-sweet-for-me color-blocked mixtures of like orange and berry smoothie topped with avocado. Pretty cool!
We went to Arax several times since it was so convenient, cheap, and delicious. We would have gone one last time on the day we moved to the resort, but they were closed for prayer. I never got to say goodbye!
Instead, we went next door in the shopping center to a place called Just Grilled, which seemed innocuous and decent for lunch when I just wanted simple things. They were called Just Grilled yet had a definite Italian-food theme, so it was a little odd, but I decided to be optimistic for a change. Obviously, I was right before and it’s better to be a pessimist. Even though the menu painstakingly lists every single ingredient for every dish – something I was thrilled to see so I could check veganness – the cooks finish each dish with cheese anyway, even when it’s not listed!! WHAT THE ACTUAL TWO-PRONGED FORK, GUYS.
I ordered a basic af “Mediterranean” salad that was just a small pile of lettuce and bell peppers (ew) as well as a bowl of basic minestrone and both came covered in cheese! I said to the guy, “wait these are covered in cheese? it didn’t say cheese on the menu! I can’t have cheese!” and he said “Yes it did not say on the menu, but because this is an Italian place, everything then gets cheese on it.” I SHIT you not. I was like “but it didn’t say! Anyway, sorry but can I get these without the cheese? because I can’t eat it” and he put up a fight and was like “but it’s Italian, so it needs cheese” and I was like “not to be rude but you are not Italian and like…I am, soooo let’s not argue about whether ‘Italian’ and ‘covered in cheese’ are synonyms, because they’re not” and he was so weirdly unwilling to redo the food cheeselessly! He reluctantly took it back after he finally understood that if he didn’t, we couldn’t eat there (like wtf) but what a weird hill to choose. And then of course the food wasn’t worth all that trouble. I highly unrecommend this place – stick to Arax and just wait for them to finish praying (they had originally said it would be a 20 minute break but it was well over an hour, sadly).
Luckily, other places in the Oasis Centre are much better than Just Grilled (wtf with that name). A lovely place we found was the Turkish place on the beachfront right next to the Costa; I think it’s Twins Turkish Cuisine. (I mean you can’t miss it; it’s the Turkish place on the beach next to the Costa.) Although their menu was divided in the traditional animal-products-heavy manner, they had a fantastic ‘salad bar’ selection that was all the traditional cold and hot mezze of that region’s cuisine. I had all my favorite hits: the best ever dolma, sauteed spinach, stewed eggplant and tomatoes, enormous salads, and lots of amazing fluffy bread.
I was thrilled with this turn of events! This salad was HUGE and really good! I love having giant fresh salads when traveling. We had a crazy amount of really good veg-heavy food here. It was nice to sit out on the beach but that means that jerkos were smoking a lot, which sucks. I guess you can’t really get away from smokers outside/in the Middle East/anywhere in the world really, so I still recommend a visit.
I also definitely recommend a visit to Bait Al Luban, a more upscale, very touristed (like the first Western tourists we saw) restaurant right on the water, so you can stare at the sultan’s pleasure yachts (biggest yachts in world? cool use of money). We stopped by the restaurant early in our trip to make a reservation, since it’s quite popular. It’s pretty centrally located so it’s not inconvenient to do that. (It’s right on the Muttrah Corniche.) Outside it kind of looks like a weird bank, but inside it’s really nice, with very ‘fancy traditional Omani for tourists to enjoy’ vibe and decor. We sat outside on the terrace to look out on the water, but it’s pretty dark out there so you only really see the busy street and the fish market; maybe it’s better to sit inside. It was also really stressful outside because there were lots of wild dogs who kept running across the busy street! I was so unbelievably nervous for them to really focus on anything else.
Bait Al Luban is used to/made for tourists, and they have a well-marked menu for vegetarian dishes and enough knowledge to help determine which dishes are vegan. I started with the house specialty salad called Gheleambe, “a healthy salad from the Sharqiya” so I was in even though I don’t know what the Sharqiya is. It was a mix of watercress, shallots, and cherry tomatoes in a dried Omani lemon dressing. You know how I feel about salad! It was really good!
For mains, they have a whole page of vegetarian curries, casseroles, even an okra stew. I was tempted by my old faves like the fava beans and the okra but Z pointed out that I have those all the time, so I took the waiter’s suggestion and had another specialty, the Mahrage, which is red kidney beans in coconut curry. It was great!
Of course we also had a basket of pita! They don’t have vegan desserts (or maybe they had like fruit and sorbet but I’m forgetting because I don’t count that) but husbo’s coffee came with a plate of dates! So I won!
So definitely book a nice dinner at Bait Al Luban while in Muscat. The whole lovely traditional vibe is worth it since we didn’t see much of that elsewhere, but the food is really good too.
We also had lots of luck in the chain of supermarkets called Lulu Hypermarket. There’s one big one in the city (well they’re all big; they’re called hypermarkets!) that we went to several times to stock up on giant water bottles (a must-do when traveling so you don’t have to buy little craps when you’re out and about, wasting more plastic and money) and snacks (and tons of good dates to bring home!). We also went to a big one outside the city on the way to Nizwa, so we could get lots of prepared food for a lunchtime picnic. We got pita and hummus (obvs) and a ton of little salads and veggies from the prepared section. There were so many options and honestly it was all really good! The Lulu’s on the way to Nizwa is in a gigantic shopping mall-sort of building with bathrooms too so I was happy. The perfect rest stop on the drive if you decide to go to Nizwa (which I guess I did advise against in the previous post but you do you).
HOTELS
As I said in the Muscat post, we stayed at first at the Intercontinental Muscat, which you know now is next to the Oasis Centre with your new favorite falafel joint. We knew that this hotel was being renovated and that, though clean, the rooms were outdated and nothing special. This was true, though the lobby was pretty cool.
The hotel was nice enough, but we didn’t mind a lesser-than room since we were going to be so busy with sightseeing. It was still rather expensive for such a blah room but that’s Muscat, apparently. But the location was excellent, and even though we weren’t lounging around the hotel all the time, we did manage to enjoy the pool! You know a pool is my favorite thing.
The IC Muscat also had a great gym, probably one of the best hotel gyms I’ve used, which means of course I didn’t take a picture for some reason. Oh it was pretty crowded with Omani men; that’s probably why. Several asked me what sport I played which is hilarious. There are a lot of restaurants on the IC grounds too, because I guess it’s a resort, including a Trader Vic’s (which has nothing vegan) and a pizza place (which looked good but we always have pizza at home). I think it would be a great choice for a sightseeing base now that the rooms are (most likely) refurbished. Overall though it was fine.
But once we were done sightseeing, we made a prettayyy prettayyy good move to one of my favorite new places.
The Shangri-La Muscat. OH DIP! It’s pretty far outside the city center, because people who come here are not sightseeing anymore; they are staying put and enjoying resort life. Husbo and I have literally never done ‘resort life’ before this, but everyone said to take a few days to relax and enjoy it, so we did. We had two nights and two days here – that’s really all we could muster, given that we are not the laying on the beach doing nothing type (and really all we could afford). The grounds were endless and so gorgeous. There was so much endless luxury to enjoy and appreciate. (However, we agreed that the Four Seasons Dubai seemed classier and more luxurious.) It seemed like it was situated it its own private world, backed by a mountain on one side and the ocean on the other. Our own private ocean fortress (shared with hundreds of strangers)! It was pretty amazing.
We had to wait about a half hour for our room, so we wandered the grounds and took pictures. Everything was so beautiful and even though there were tons of people there, nothing seemed too crowded. There were also like, five pools??!! I swam in so many pools! Oh so the Shangri-La is actually made of three resorts: the main one, the family one (Al Waha), and the super-even-fancier-one-for-super-rich-people-who-need-their-own-elevators (Al Husn (which we had fun saying because it’s how my nephew said his name at the time)). These are rough guides, because there were kids at ours, fancy people at the kids one, &c. They’re all connected and they share (most) amenities, so it’s not really strict. We were at the main one, the Barr Al Jissah Resort and Spa. We saw the Al Waha a lot, since some of the restaurants and beach activities we experienced were closer to their end of the beach, and it was nice but definitely better for kids. It’s closer to the more kid-friendly pool and the busier beach end, things like that. (We weren’t allowed to see the fancier one, which I think is just part of the main building but with all private entrances and stuff. Well who really knows what else they have up there.)
But regardless of what they have over at the Al Husn, I loved the Barr Al Jissah, and it’s probably because things kicked off on a super high note. So I’m always that person who is like “wahhhh I’ve never been upgraded on anything why don’t I ever get an upgraaaaade let’s tell them we’re on our honeymoooon” and Husbo, being a Decent Person, is like “no we aren’t lying” and I’m like “fiiiine lying is wrong FINE but I want FANCY THINGS, GOD UGH” so anyway we arrive at the Shangri-La check-in (the fanciest check-in area man alive) and well first we have to wait and we take our photos of the grounds and we explore the interactive computer screens telling us what’s going on and we see THIS hilarity:
And when the check-in staff called us back over to the desk, the guy was like “are you celebrating any special occasion”? And husbo and I had a legit ESP-style discussion where I was saying “OMG no one ever just sets us up like that, we HAVE to say yes” and husbo was like “no we’re not lying” and I was like “but he’s asking for it!” and before he could ESP answer me, husbo told the guy “no we’re not, just here on holiday!” and I said “dammit!” (internally) but then the gods rewarded us for not lying because I am not even joking when I say the LEAST likely turn of events happened next: The staffer said “well, since you aren’t celebrating anything special, we want to ensure you remember your time here as special so we have upgraded your room.” I mean, WHO DOES THAT? What are the odds? I was hysterically laughing. Like come on. That doesn’t happen. I’ll take it.
The standard room we had booked was still very expensive, so getting a GODDAMN INCREDIBLE SUITE felt like some kind of sweet justice. It was awesome and ridiculous.
They also did my favorite hotel activity of leaving me edible gifts! We got daily fruit bowls and a lovely box of dates.
So yeah I was a little overexcited you could say! I love a nice hotel room that’s bigger than most apartments I’ve lived it! Man alive.
The Shangri-La never stopped surprising us with hilariously over-the-top amenities. The best by far was that the Al Jissah resort was linked to the Al Waha at the other end of the beach – by a lazy river. A LEGIT LAZY RIVER between the two hotels, from one pool to another (with 3-4 other pools around the grounds, of course). AMAZING.
We lazed on the lazy river so many times because when are you ever going to be staying in a place with one again?? We also swam in all the pools, went in the ocean, lounged on the beach, swam in more pools, explored the grounds by lazy river, explored by foot, and lather rinse repeated everything…and that was the first afternoon and we were like ‘okay now what’. We aren’t used to being resort people!
We decided to take advantage of literally every aspect of this experience, starting with…the turtle ranger! The Shangri-La has an on-site expert dedicated to the protection of native hawksbill and green sea turtles, and he’s called the TURTLE RANGER and he gets to live here and do this and man does that sound amazing. We went to his evening guidance jawn and made plans to go snorkeling with him the next morning to look for turtles in the ocean!! We were the only people interested the morning we went so it’s like we had a private snorkeling session and sea life lesson all for free! I obviously don’t have pictures of that experience, but it was incredible. The three of us met on the beach in front of the Al Waha section of the grounds, snorkeled up, and swam out under the resort’s ocean barrier ropes, around the cliffs, and out into the ocean out of the view and out of the safety of the resort. Now, I’ve been swimming my whole life, but not like, TO SURVIVE. Just for funsies! This was HARROWING. Have you ever swam, like literally swam doing swim-class strokes, no treading or bobbing or touching down, in the ocean for an hour? It is HARD! I was so not used to using a snorkel to breathe and so not used to swimming against ocean currents, so I was focusing so hard on Not Dying that I missed seeing the sea turtle! Sads! I saw a lot of beautiful fishies though, and like, didn’t drown, so I’m happy overall.
Those of you who read about our amazing spa exploits in the Dubai post will know what’s coming next: more spa exploits! It is called “Resort & Spa” for a reason! Sadly, there was a tennis court we didn’t make use of (tear), but we did use ALL THE THINGS in the spa, which is located outside a gate near one of the pools; you need your room key to get to the spa and fitness area. Like the Four Seasons Dubai, the Shangri-La spa had a jacuzzi, steam rooms, weird rain shower areas, weird air shower areas (I still don’t get these but every future spa requires them), a lovely lounge area, and lots of rooms for massages and treatments if you so desire. We had fun just skipping from random feature to random feature.
They also had a very good gym, which seemed to be in a legit fitness center like open to outsiders? Or else it was just surprisingly busy! They had a lot going on – yoga center, classes, I wanna say a squash court?, as well as an outdoor mini-golf course! I used the main gym floor and the upstairs studio when it was not class time (I put videos on Instagram in the Muscat highlights section!). My only complaint is that the rowing machine wasn’t properly secured to the ground (I was like legit rowing across the room this way) but now we’re getting into niche complaints, which means we’re done with this section.
Since we were staying in here for a few days, that means we ate all our meals inside the grounds, as everyone does. There are lots of restaurants, and you have to make reservations for them since there are hundreds of guests looking for dinner at the same times. There’s the main hotel buffet, which looked good with decent vegan options, but it was expensive considering I’d be eating the cheapest food. Like, don’t charge me $60 when I’m going to be making a salad. Vegans should get buffet discounts! Regardless, the main buffet is pretty much what’s open for the (included) breakfast, so I got to try all the greatest hits anyway. We checked all the menus of all the restaurants, and hilariously, the seafood restaurant had the best vegan options!
The seafood restaurant is about halfway between Barr Al Jissah and Al Waha on the beach. They offer a chef’s marketplace salad and grilled asparagus as starters, and veggie paella, three bean casserole, and tortellini for mains. I know it doesn’t seem like a lot but I’m telling you, finding a restaurant at this resort with beans felt like a huge success.
I had the salad (obviously) and the beans, and they were really good! The chef’s salad said it would have caramelized dates in it, though, and mine clearly didn’t. I didn’t actually care because I was so full of dates by this point in the trip, but I’m annoyed at the misrepresentation.
For my main, of course I got the three bean casserole. The only thing better than a bean is three beans! It was actually really good.
A friend who had stayed here before told us that the breakfast buffet was seriously fantastic, and I was like “sure Jan” because I’m not a hotel breakfast person, but man alive! Just look at everything available at the breakfast buffet:
The breakfast buffet had a whole Arabic foods section! After I had all the fruit and juices and cereals (with soy milk on display!) and a plate from the enormous salad section, I could eat all my best friends – the hummus and the foul and the salads and the pita!!
And then I found this:
On the bread wall (yes there was an entire wall of breads) there was a soft pretzel box!! It’s like they saw me coming. There was also a diy soft-serve machine – yes, at the breakfast buffet – but of course it was not vegan. It’s okay I’m okay!
Honestly though, my favorite meal was room service! True, this could be because it was truly incredible food, or because it was actually the most economical option (and cheapest room service I’ve ever seen!), or because it was my first time ever getting room service (I KNOW!). It could also be because we got EVERYTHING vegan on the menu! And it was so nice to have a reason to use our fancy living room! The staff who brought it and cleaned up (you just call a number when you’re done and they come back and take the table away it all just folds up it was like magical) were really great, and even though I was embarrassed at how much we ordered, they were like ‘what’s up have fun’. So much food, so amazing.
We got lentil soup, we got curry, we got rice, we got dolmas, we got hummus and pita, and we got fattoush and another salad thing and a basket of rolls and some kind of vegan spinach puff ball and man alive this was a lot of food now that I write it all out knowing I’m forgetting something additional. (That coffee pot looking jawn is the lentil soup container lol.)
The morning we flew back to London, we had to leave the hotel at like 6 am (egads and oh no). Since we would be missing breakfast, the hotel sent us off with a bag stuffed with tropical fruit containers and salads! (Sure the salads had feta but I could eat the fruit! So nice!)
This was an incredibly special holiday as you can see, and not just because I had my first upgrade (yasss), or my first room service (yassss), or because I didn’t drown in the ocean. Muscat might not be a vegan mecca, but it has a lot to offer tourists in terms of history and culture and overall great experiences, and vegans will definitely be more than fine. And if you read this whole thing, you deserve a stay at the Shangri-La.
2 Comments
This really made me laugh! I’m a Brit, and we eat like this every day. Joking. This is as fancy for us as it was for you. I LOVE doing afternoon tea at the big London hotels, it rocks. Man aren’t the little tiny teeny sandwiches just THE BEST?! When I worked in media and got bored of the fancy meeja client lunches, I switched to afternoon tea at the Ritz or the Savoy and honestly clients loved it way more! I think it’s coz you feel just so looked after. And obvs, the piano. It’s really all about the piano and the TINY TEENY SAMMICHES. Oh and I agree with you about why the hell don’t they have the vegan menu on the site, like WHAT. Anyway, I’m hoping to go soon, when lockdown ends!
Haha thank you so much! I definitely can’t wait to go again sometime soon and eat food that I didn’t make myself! 😛