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New Orleans Food Guide: If You’re Not Eating 24/7, You’re Doing It Wrong

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  When I was in sixth grade, we sang this ridiculous song in chorus about New Orleans. I don’t remember what it was called or who wrote it, but I remember the words because they were all about food, with the most fun-sounding, exotic-to-young-me names. For more than 15 years, I’ve remembered those words and stored them for whenever I finally got to New Orleans, so I would be sure to eat the proper dishes. The song went:
Jambalaya and a crawfish pie and file’ gumbo
Cause tonight I’m gonna see ma cher amio (pronounced ah-MY-oh)
Pick guitar, fill fruit jar, and be fine-o,
Son of a gun we’ll have big fun on the bayou.
And then at the end you repeated “son of a gun, we’ll have big fun, son of a gun, we’ll have big fun, son of a gun we’ll have big funnn onnn theeee bayouuuuuu” and I swore ONE DAY I would have big fun on the bayou and eat that file’ gumbo and fill my fruit jar and you know what buster? I did. 
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Seitan gumbo at Seed. It’s not my fault the bowl is messy.
As soon as we landed in New Orleans, we were starving. I don’t use that word lightly because there are actually people starving in the world and also because every time I say it I imagine Louis CK saying “I’m starving” in his voice of mockery (“I’m literally starving. It’s so annoying” oh my god I love it). We immediately began our journey through the many places on the NOLA List Of Dreams that I cobbled together from Melissa Bastian’s NOLAinGreen blog and from Queen Kittee Bee Berns‘ recommendations.
13 BAR
Our first stop was 13 Bar, in the Marigny, which is the neighborhood just northeast of the French Quarter. This low-key joint would be one of my favorite local places if it was in Philly or London. It was so casual and had a nice vibe. More importantly, it had several vegan options on the menu, including totchos (tater tot nachos)! I of course ordered the tofu bahn mi because that’s my favorite sandwich in the world. It was so delicious! The tofu was spiced and pressed into perfect little dense squares, and it had a good amount of shredded carrots, jalapenos, and cilantro. I could always use more but this veggie showing was more impressive than most other purveyors. I would have added some shredded lettuce or even jicama to add just a little freshness (all the vegetables were warm from the grilling). The bread was a little too chewy but the fillings made up for it. 
     We also tried their red beans and rice, a New Orleans staple dish that quickly became one of my favorites and something I can’t wait to recreate. 13’s version was decent, creamy and comforting if a little bland. The service was fast, the bartender was nice, and they had a pretty clean bathroom. Win. 
     We didn’t get totchos, which in hindsight was the dumbest thing I’ve ever done. 

COOP’S 
We went to Coop’s, a famous old pub-ish place  packed with locals, so husband could have their famous jambalaya, and we had our first fried shit of the week, the fried okra. Oh man. Fried okra might be my favorite fried thing ever! I don’t have pictures because Coop’s is dark and the people were kind of glaring at me?

SUPERFOOD BAR
On our second day, I patiently sat as my husband and his good friend who lives in NOLA ate supposedly the best fried chicken in the world. How good am I? What’s that, I deserve presents? Well I had a more than lovely reward afterwards, when they drove me to get my favorite type of food at Superfood Bar on Magazine Street.
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This is the best picture I’ve ever taken you’re welcome
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Viet Wrap
I had some doubts about a place called Superfood Bar. I love things that profess to be super foods and raw and super healthy and what not, but I always wonder whether such a place would be too raw and too grassy even for me. But for the most part I loved my food!

It was a cute little spot that reminded me of Blossom du Jour in NYC, but with slightly better seating, cheaper prices, and a bathroom, praise the lord. I got a green smoothie of course, because I hadn’t had one for more than 24 hours and I wasn’t sure what would happen to me if I waited any longer. It was a decent smoothie, full of greens, but I asked to add some Grassy Green or some such powder that made it taste primarily of that. Not bad though! 

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Kimchi salad
So that was breakfast, and then 6 minutes later I had a wonderful lunch of the Kimchi Salad and the Viet Wrap. The salad was a bit bland, but luckily the wrap came with an extra side of sauce that I shared with it. The wrap though was SO good! It was in a gluten-free brown rice wrap, and as I’ve learned (and learned to love), when you grill a brown rice wrap, they get kind of hard and surprisingly crispy instead of just hot. Well I love it. The wrap comprised a spicy red bean and rice patty, paying homage to the famous dish of NOLA, along with pickled vegetables like carrots, lots of cilantro, not enough greens but I drank those, a sunflower cream and a spicy mango sauce. Oh man I could eat healthy wraps like this every day. Nothing makes super healthy food like putting it in a warm wrap.
RAW REVOLUTION
After I was sufficiently (insanely) fed at my new fave place Superfood Bar, we wandered around the area of Magazine Street, which is a somewhat more upscale and modern shopping area, at least the stretch we wandered. Just a few blocks down from Superfood Bar was Raw Revolution, which was also on my list for lunch. I can never thank the universe enough for making me choose Superfood Bar first, because, in contrast to the few things I could find online, Raw Revolution does not have food. It has a fridge of bottled juices, yes, and some ginger and lemon shots, and some packaged raw date balls (that were actually delicious, but made on Martha’s Vineyard?) and kale chips, but it doesn’t have food. It was mostly pills and products for cleanses (and not the good taco kind) and stuff like that. It was a disappointment. I don’t know how they pay the rent for the large, mostly wasted space, unless people in New Orleans like to spend a lot of money on diet pills and shite like that. (And then I bought a juice for later and it was over $10 and realized oh that’s how they pay the rent, gauging. It was a decent extremely green juice but dayum, this isn’t NYC.)

Our favorite thing to do is walk around new cities, so we walked maybe 45 minutes and were rewarded by the universe with this Mecca:

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Damn right we’re taking a detour
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I want a dispenser of various bulk liquids at my Whole Foods!
A GIANT WHOLE FOODS! Oh man, I love seeing what Whole Foodses in other cities have for sale. This one had so many more flavors of Justin’s Nut Butter than I’ve ever seen. If you haven’t had the vanilla almond butter, I suggest you find it immediately. Amazing! We also picked up a slice of vegan carrot cake that promptly melted (still good) .
HANSEN’S SNO-BLIZ
Then, because this trip was mostly about being gluttonous, we walked to the very famous and very old school Hansen’s Sno-Bliz, the greatest snow-cone-type concoction in the world. Listen, I’m from Philly, the land of waterice. I love all the old school waterice places all over the Philly area, but this place is different and ridiculously good. They pour their fancy syrups over the shaved ice, like snow cones, but then they put it in a machine that like poufs and fluffs the ice and then drops clouds of snowier ice on top. And the flavors are so much more subtle and elevated and fancy than traditional waterice.
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Look how it got fluffed!
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The majestic, mysterious cucumber.
That first day I had half cucumber and half ginger. Yes, that’s right, CUCUMBER. And it was the best water ice-y thing I have ever, ever had. It was perfect, light and refreshing and a tiny bit sweet and it was somehow exactly like cucumber. Later, I tried cardamom which was spectacular, chocolate which was wonderful but comparable to Rita’s, and spearmint, which was somehow not mouthwashy. They also do cream flavors that my husband reported being amazing (especially the cream of root beer and cream of almond together) and that I will create later this week! I really want to try recreating the cucumber but my efforts would be disgusting I imagine. 

MEALS FROM THE HEART CAFE

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In the heart of the French Market, which is full of various vendors’ stalls of mostly food, stands the vegan-friendly Meals from the Heart café. I only got to try the vegan shake, which was very good despite not having any vegetables!

They also have Portobello sandwiches and other various vegan-friendly foods that I would love to try when I return. The extremely friendly manager/owner gave us fresh orange slices while we waited, and he talked about how his family started eating more vegan foods and solved tons of their health problems that they picked up from traditional New Orleans cuisine. Yay for people eating more vegan food, even if it’s for health reasons!

DREAMY WEENIES
Oh man, one of our absolute favorites was Dreamy Weenies – or, as we refer to it because it’s better this way, Weiner Dreams. So, this popular hot dog place has 5 vegan dog options!! I wanted to try the falafel dog, but I always have falafel, so I got the vegan andouille. So crazy meat-like ahh! I got it ‘Genchili’ style, which is topped with house-made vegan chili and Creole mix (celery, onion, peppers). With ketchup and mustard on top it was very tasty. It was seriously outmatched, however, by the red beans & rice, which we got as a side. Oh my goodness, these were the best red beans & rice either of us had in New Orleans! So crazy! The person who took our order also said that all of the sides are vegan. Amazing! So, you definitely have to go here and get a fun dog but BE SURE to get the red beans & rice all the time. I wish I knew how good they were earlier in the week; Weiner Dreams was so close to the hotel, we could have had them for breakfast every day. They also had a navy bean pie on display that husband said was really good, so I will be making that soon.
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Good job weenies!
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I ate all the topping first :/
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Fun chalkboards are always fun and chalkboardy
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The best red beans & rice
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I WILL HAUNT YOUR WEINER DREAMS
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My sausage plus waffle fries!

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KILLER PO’ BOYS
One of the most fun food-related things in NOLA is the existence of Killer Po’ Boys. This centrally located Irish pub called Erin Rose has a little back room where a separate operation makes and sells fantastic po’ boys, the most famous food out of NOLA. I have tried to find out what makes a sandwich a po’ boy, and the only consensus is just the French bread, which seems super wrong. 

Anyway, the best part? KPB always has a vegan option! I got a sweet potato & greens po’ boy, hot and melty from the grill and coated with a pecan spread. Holy crap this was so good! It was nearly falling apart, in the best way. Greasy from the grill and hot and perfect. I could have had two…maybe. It’s such a charming operation, just hashing out hot po’ boys!


I think of Joey from “Friends” as the voice of wisdom so sandwiches are the best food, and po’ boys are the most fun (besides bahn mi!). HOWEVER, on one menu at a different place we found this winner of a po’ boy listed:
This is an actual food item that people apparently order and then eat. You know who these people are? US! I’m going to make this later this week! So tune back in for this craziness!

BREADS ON OAK
Thank you LazySmurf for telling me that Breads on Oak was a must. It’s kind of out of the way, over where d.b.a. is, but oh my god, everything I had (and I had a lottttttt) was amazing. We stopped here on our way out of the city for the day (for plantation and bayou tours) so I stocked up, getting an entire day’s worth of food (wasn’t necessary but you never know?). 
I had the Buckwheat Breakfast Sandwich first – it was gluten-free and tasted like it (very earthy because of the buckwheat) but I love that taste. The tofu filling was mild and stuffed with sprouts, the perfect breakfast item. 

For lunch a few hours/minutes later, I had the Live Food Sandwich, which featured the most incredible, chewy sandwich bread stuffed with carrots, cucumber, avocado, and some kind of spread. Ugh it was so good! My favorite kind of food, fresh vegetables and good bread.

The brownie with pecans had a great chocolaty flavor, but it was too cakey for me. I like my brownies fudgy. But husband said it was great.

The peanut butter blondie was fannnntastic! It had whole roasted peanuts on the top and the texture was how I wanted the brownie to be – fudgey and dense and just delicious. And it wasn’t overly sweet!

The Irish soda scone was actually my favorite non-sandwich item. Somehow, magically, it tasted like butter, but it wasn’t buttery at all. How did they magick this? The tiny little currants weren’t annoying, as things of their ilk often are in baked goods, and the scone itself was perfection.

Lastly, the banana cream pie was wonderful. It wasn’t too sweet, so the banana’s flavor came through nicely. The crust seemed more like a multigrain/healthy pressed kind of thing than a regular pie crust, but I loved that.


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Floating breakfast sandwich of dreams
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Sooo good! And I think that’s the pie to the left
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The besssst

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THE GUMBO SHOP

Right in the heart of the French Quarter is a heavily trafficked, adorable little restaurant called The Gumbo Shop. Because of its prime location, you’d probably assume it doesn’t have anything for vegans, but you’d be wrong. Not only is Gumbo Z’Herbes – a traditional vegetarian gumbo often filled with cabbage, collards, beans, and fresh herbs – always on the menu, but they also always have a vegetarian special entrée! Note, the Gumbo Z’Herbes is on the menu as an appetizer (a cup of it), but I wanted it as my meal so I just asked for a bowl of it and it was no problem. It was absolutely delicious!

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PictureHere’s a picture of my favorite tree

I hope this will help you if/when you go to New Orleans! Don’t worry, we aren’t finished! The next two days will feature reviews of two fancier restaurants (Seed and Feelings) we went to that merit fuller coverage. Both were really good, and one was my favorite place of the whole trip! 

After that, we will create dishes inspired by several items you see above — including that absolutely revolting but amazing sounding po’ boy! 


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