"Hello, Dolly!" on Broadway: Bette Midler is a Ham & You'll Eat It Upby Randi / November 23, 2017
My recent trip home to Philly and NYC was jam-packed with new and delicious vegan food options, from the carrot lox at Orchard Grocer to Philly’s amazing new joints Wiz Kid and Goldie. Add in all the incredible new finds at Trader Joe’s and I was almost overwhelmed with vegan options, especially considering my dearth of options this past summer in Central Asia! With vegan treats coming at me from all sides, you’d think it would be hard to choose a favorite, but that was the easy part. The new (at least in my book, come on I’ve been gone forever) outpost of Juice Merchant, an all-vegan 100% organic cafe, on Montgomery Avenue in Narberth wins that honor. (There’s also one in Manayunk.) The food, while not Landau-levels of otherworldly perfection, is solidly good, sometimes great; the menu is the exact perfect size for offering tons of options but not being overwhelming (us vegans aren’t used to having such choice!); the drinks menu is flawless; the staff is insanely nice; and the desserts – guys – the desserts are from Vegan Treats. Finally a place on the Main Line with a constant supply of that peanut butter mousse!
If you’re a devoted reader, you know that if I don’t have salad access, I’m pretty cranky. I love salad, what can I say, I’m a total boring stereotype. I’m also a big fan of Joey so I love sandwiches, especially those that can pass as somewhat healthy. This in large part explains why I loved Juice Merchant so much – their menu is composed primarily of interesting salads and fun but still healthy sandwiches, so it’s like it’s tailor-made for my tastes. It reaches that hard-to-find balance between fun-but-greasy-tummy-ache food on one side of the spectrum and so-raw-and-health-conscious-that-it-tastes-like-feet on the other. Everything I tried – and hoo boy, did we try a lot – was good, and some was great. And next time I’m in town, I know some easy tweaks (“t-w-e-a-k-ing tweaking”) for when I order that, given how nice and accommodating the staff was, I’m sure they wouldn’t mind making. And I’ll share my thoughts on those tweaks herein so you can use them if/when you go. And if you’re in the area, you should.
THE FOOD
For dinner one evening between my party, we tried the three sandwiches and one flatbread. I know you’re thinking, ‘dude you JUST said how much you love salads and I see a prettayyyy prettayyy big salad section on the picture of the menu above so are you a liar or what?’ And I know, I was going to order at least one salad but guess what, ALL the sandwiches come with side salads! So it’s like winning extra prizes and getting to try two things when you get a sandwich! I mean OBVIOUSLY if I had my druthers I would have gotten a full salad too but I was with sandwich-preferers and honestly you can’t lose with this menu. Damn I LOVE side salad inclusions! My first choice was the Vegan Cubano, because I love jackfruit and I love the cubanos I’ve had in the past (like at Blackbird in Philly, man alive, but definitely a place that veers towards the too-fun-for-me side of the spectrum). Juice Merchant’s cubano was made with dehydrated jackfruit, vegan cheese, dijon mustard, and pickles. Dehydrating the jackfruit is a really interesting move. I’m not sure how necessary it is, since it makes the sandwich a little drier than it would be otherwise, but it gives the sandwich a kicking smokiness which is the payoff. I think my edition needed a bit more on the pickle-side to cut all that dark smokiness, and maybe a piece of lettuce would help as well. It also didn’t have that much cheese, which is usually a good thing for me but maybe the teensiest bit more would have been good. But my two non-vegan dining companions thought it was amazing and I’m very particular, so it’s all good. It came on a cute little English-muffin-almost-looking bun that gave it the right bread-to-filling ratio. I’m all about ratios. ALSO, the side salad it came with had chickpeas and a great balsamic-based dressing so yay!! This entire big platter was only $9.50, which, living in London and coming from NYC in the days before, seemed just about free to me.
Jackfruit cubano
My next top choice (I have a lot of tops and bests and favorites, as you know) was the BLTA, a twist on the classic with automatic avocado. Automatic avocado is a surefire way to win me over, especially outside of the UK where the avocado might actually be good. The B in this sandwich was made from portobello mushroom, flavored and cooked like bacon, and it was delicious. The ratio (I’m all about ratios) of the mushroom bacon to tomato to lettuce to avocado was right, and the regular sandwich bread it was on was grilled and it was all perfect. It had a good amount of red onion too, which normally I hate but it worked well here. This was my fave sandwich by far. Just so perfect and delicious. This whole big mess of food (minus the chickpeas in the cup; they were from another person’s plate and I wanted them, but the chickpeas on the salad were again included I love this place) was also $9.50 which like come onnnn it’s almost annoyingly well-priced. They could easily raise their prices, I think.
the BLTA
The last item from the sandwich board we tried this evening was the Avocado Toast, which is always great and didn’t disappoint here. They offer it with either tomato and sprouts or arugula and pine nuts; both options cost the same, $6. This is avocado toast that won’t be the reason you can’t buy a house, millennials! Look at the size of this plate for $6. I cannot even. One good avocado in London will cost that much, I mean if such a thing existed. It’s hard to find pine nuts in the wild that don’t cost you an extra $20 so we ordered that option. So good! I really can’t with this whole mess costing $6. And on the Main Line!
Avocado toast
You can order all the sandwiches as is, on wraps, on multigrain bread, on gluten-free buns or wraps, or in lettuce wraps. I love all the options.
Lastly, we ordered the mushroom flatbread. There are three flatbreads, including one Hawaiian style made with jackfruit that sounds amazing. This is a big ole pizza-like shebang for $10, with mushrooms, walnuts, onions, garlic, tomatoes, and topped with red onion, parsley, mint, and lemon juice on top of a whole lot of melted cheese. I think they use Daiya – I’m not sure, I should have asked, but it seemed like Daiya – so if you don’t absolutely adore Daiya or just a lot of cheese in general, ask for less cheese than usual. I don’t mind Daiya – I’d prefer if they switched to Violife, which is the best and would be amazing even in an overdose – so the one change I’d make is the lemon juice. I don’t think it’s necessary and I think that was the culprit that detracted from the goodness overall of all the rest of the ingredients. There was something just a tad off, sharp, and I think it was lemon juice. The mushrooms and cheesiness without it would be like creamy and warm and amazing. The mushroom and nut mix is a great idea to add more substance, and the bread was a little crispy and a little chewy. Overall it was pretty good.
I can’t wait to try the rest of the food menu. My mom raves about the grilled cheese sandwich – and it’s only $5 with tomato and a dollar extra for the portobello bacon, so like, damn. The salads looked amazing, and I think the salad menu would be even more stellar with maybe a protein add-in option for all the salads overall. One had seitan, one had crispy tofu, and while I’m positive that they would add them to your salad choice if you asked, it would be easier and very cool if it was just listed, like ‘add crispy tofu for $2’ or whatever like that. The only weird thing about the menu (not actually weird, just weird to me) is the curious lack of tempeh in sight! Usually vegan places are all about the tempeh (as am I). It’s not bad, just weird to see (or not see!). If they make some menu changes seasonally or something I’d love to see a tempeh reuben oh oh my god I’d fly in just to try it. Maybe instead of the more basic options like the grilled portobello sandwich, which has been our only option at restaurants for so long that I can’t see many vegs ordering it when so many amazing options exist here.
Anyway, that’s enough about food. Juice Merchant also has a killer drinks menu – juices, smoothies, and coffee! I didn’t take a pic of the coffee options because I’m not a coffee drinker but even so I was still impressed by the extensive list.
The smoothie options sound great, and given the existence of the hemp and soy protein powders in the Protein Power smoothie, I bet you could add that to the others if you asked (as I would because I’m a protein powder fiend). I don’t know what the Blue Majik in the Cool Blue smoothie is but I wish I noticed that when I was there and asked! Those combos sound great, as do the juice options. We tried the Beet It juice and it was good. It was premade in the display case which helps speed things up if you’re in a hurry. The carrot-cinnamon-apple-maca options sounds like the first good use of maca! I’ve never been able to figure out how to use it so as not to vom but this sounds worth a try for sure. Genius. I love the $7.95 price for all the drinks, damn, especially having come from NYC where a small juice was like $11. I still can’t get over the Banana Whips and how amazing they sound (I LOVE banana whips) and how I was too full to try one. Le sigh. Next time! I love that they add granola; I wonder if it’s house made. And an Acai Bowl! Next time I’m going for breakfast. Except I need to try a salad. Dammit there’s too much!
THE DESSERT
Speaking of too much:
Juice Merchant gets Vegan Treats treats delivered every Thursday, and the selection is off the chain. They have the giant cinnamon buns (they are GIANT) which are the best ever. They have the peanut butter mousse brownie-cake bars which are THE BEST EVER. (Everything from Vegan Treats is the best ever, if you didn’t know.) They have the whoopie pies (three flavors!), the donuts (oh my god), and – THE CANNOLIS! I am NEVER able to find the cannolis because they’re usually just at Grindcore in South Philly and when do I ever get to go to South Philly anymore. So this is exciting. I got everything. It keeps!! IT KEEPS.
HELLO LOVER |
DANISHES? |
Okay I’ll stop. It’s all the best. I’ve never seen those Avocado Truffles before and I’m not sure if they’re Vegan Treats or Juice Merchant-made but I loved them!
Aside from the VT, there’s MORE dessert that is indeed house-made, and it’s amazing. We tried the chia pudding and the avocado mousse that you can sort of see in the big display case picture below. Both were SO good. I think I preferred the avocado mousse more even though I’m a huge chia head (ch ch ch chia!) because they made that subtle cocoa flavor just spot on.
The best part (how many best parts did I already say there were?) aside from the great food and drinks and the amazing desserts was how nice the staff was. And that there’s a big clean bathroom. And that they give a discount for teachers which I LOVE. Hooray for being kind to teachers. I can’t get over how perfect this place is and how close it is to my USA home. I can’t wait to go back and I highly recommend that you go if you can. Next time I think the chocolate peanut butter banana whip will be my first order of business. Or the carrot-maca juice. Or the blue magik smoothie. Or the veggie burger; I must try theirs! Or the cabbage and seitan salad! Oh my god I want everything. Who am I kidding it will be the peanut butter mousse cakey-pie thing. Okay now I’m hungry and I have to cook for myself ughhhhh. Go and enjoy!
Related Posts
Vedge Restaurant, Philadelphia: The World’s Greatest
Rutabaga salad with baby greens and roasted maitake mushrooms
As a Philadelphia native, I was lucky enough to eat at Horizons restaurant several times in my life. It was the restaurant I always chose for celebrating a special occasion, but simply going there was a special occasion in itself. The food overall was sublime, the desserts and seitan in particular were just perfection. When Rich Landau and Kate Jacoby suddenly announced their decision to close Horizons and open a more vegetable-focused restaurant, I was crushed, as was every vegan, vegetarian, Philly person, and anyone who appreciated great food.
Luckily for me and my therapist, Vedge Restaurant is, if possible, even better than Horizons. Hurrah! Sure, it is different, and the focus on vegetables leaves little room on the menu for the wondrous things Landau can famously do with seitan, tofu, and tempeh. However, he graciously keeps a few of those dishes in rotation. More importantly, the focus on vegetables will blow your freaking mind. Obviously, I love vegetables, and my many years as a vegan have given me a pretty great appreciation of what you can do with them. But I’m still a civilian, and the chefs at Vedge, well, aren’t. The food is ridiculous. I’ve been to Vedge about five times since it opened, and each time, the many (many) plates ordered were all stupendous. This post will cover what I had on the latest visit in August; I’ll cover other seasons at Vedge in later posts.
Luckily for me and my therapist, Vedge Restaurant is, if possible, even better than Horizons. Hurrah! Sure, it is different, and the focus on vegetables leaves little room on the menu for the wondrous things Landau can famously do with seitan, tofu, and tempeh. However, he graciously keeps a few of those dishes in rotation. More importantly, the focus on vegetables will blow your freaking mind. Obviously, I love vegetables, and my many years as a vegan have given me a pretty great appreciation of what you can do with them. But I’m still a civilian, and the chefs at Vedge, well, aren’t. The food is ridiculous. I’ve been to Vedge about five times since it opened, and each time, the many (many) plates ordered were all stupendous. This post will cover what I had on the latest visit in August; I’ll cover other seasons at Vedge in later posts.
Pho Spiced Mushroom Sandwich
I recommend, if you have the option, that you go to Vedge on a weekday. For one thing, try getting a reservation on a weekend now that Rich won Chopped! For another, better reason, on weekdays from 5-7pm, you can order off the Happy Hour menu (if seated in the bar section). You get a menu of drinks and four dishes that cost only $4-$6, about. The first one we ordered was the Pho Spiced Mushroom Sandwich. Holy crap was this incredible. I could eat so many of these. The mushrooms were grilled perfectly and seasoned beyond what I could imagine, on great, thick toast covered with a white bean puree and topped with arugula. This perfect sandwich combined all of my favorite things: mushrooms, bean puree, good bread, and fresh greens.
We also ordered the Korean Seitan Tacos and the Kung Pao Cauliflower from the Happy Hour list. Oh man. the Seitan Tacos are a must-0rder if you go to Vedge. The seitan is just as spellbinding as you might remember from Horizons, and is put to its proper use in a spicy taco. Again, I could eat so many of these. So amazing.
We also ordered the Korean Seitan Tacos and the Kung Pao Cauliflower from the Happy Hour list. Oh man. the Seitan Tacos are a must-0rder if you go to Vedge. The seitan is just as spellbinding as you might remember from Horizons, and is put to its proper use in a spicy taco. Again, I could eat so many of these. So amazing.
Korean Seitan Tacos. There were more, but I had to devour them before taking a picture The Kung Pao Cauliflower was, as expected, the most interesting cauliflower dish I’ve ever had. You might be thinking right now, “That’s like saying you met the shortest giant”, but this was truly impressive. It was very spicy, but the flavors came through well; it wasn’t just hot.
|
Kung Pao Cauliflower. As delicious as it is beautiful |
Next, we ordered four items off The Dirt List, a rotating list of fresh vegetables prepared in incredible ways. My favorite was the summer beans on white eggplant puree. I’m a sucker for fresh legumes, probably because I never really use them in my own cooking. This dish was so simple and comforting yet refreshing and delightful. I loved it! We also ordered Zucchini Toast and a Beet Salad & Puree with Beet ‘Pastrami’ off the Dirt List.
Zucchini Toast, so yummy |
The Beet Pastrami – simply incredible |
Summer corn and tomato salad with magic yellow sauce
The Zucchini Toast was delicious, as most bread-based sandwich-type things are. Taken at the height of its season, the zucchini was grilled lightly and gave bursts of summery flavor. The Beet Pastrami, however, was insane. Look at it (above right)! This really blew my mind. So amazing. The accompanying salads and purees were of course delicious as well. But that pastrami, man alive. Good work.
The last dish we ordered off the Dirt List was the Heirloom Tomato and Corn Salad over quinoa. Or, Summer on a Plate. It was just everything you could possibly love about summer. Fresh tomatoes! Good corn! Quinoa! Fresh herbs! And the most incredible sauce on earth. Seriously, I don’t know what it was, but it was magical. My dining companions and I were fighting over who got to lick the plate. (I think we all ended up cleaning the plate with our fingers.)
The last dish we ordered off the Dirt List was the Heirloom Tomato and Corn Salad over quinoa. Or, Summer on a Plate. It was just everything you could possibly love about summer. Fresh tomatoes! Good corn! Quinoa! Fresh herbs! And the most incredible sauce on earth. Seriously, I don’t know what it was, but it was magical. My dining companions and I were fighting over who got to lick the plate. (I think we all ended up cleaning the plate with our fingers.)
Spicy Grilled Tofu, with edamame, miso, yuba
Next, we ordered three dishes from the main menu. (I was with more than one other person I swear!) The Rutabaga Salad, pictured at the top of this post, was cool and energizing, a refreshing break from the complex and heavier flavors of other dishes while still being very interesting itself.
Not willing to miss any of Landau’s magic with proteins (I knowww I hate that but it works), we also ordered the Spicy Grilled Tofu, served on a bed of edamame puree, covered with smoked miso sauce and a yuba cracker. It tasted as incredible as it sounds. I’m not a huge fan of blocks of tofu, but this I can do.I can’t remember another time I’ve had such amazing tofu! The last dinner dish we had was the Shwarma-style Carrots. These were so good that I forgot to take a picture. Spiced to evoke the well-known smoked Middle Eastern meats, the carrots came over black lentils and garbanzos, with a side of olive stew and topped with green harissa. Everything worked perfectly and transported me back to the best restaurants in Israel.
Not willing to miss any of Landau’s magic with proteins (I knowww I hate that but it works), we also ordered the Spicy Grilled Tofu, served on a bed of edamame puree, covered with smoked miso sauce and a yuba cracker. It tasted as incredible as it sounds. I’m not a huge fan of blocks of tofu, but this I can do.I can’t remember another time I’ve had such amazing tofu! The last dinner dish we had was the Shwarma-style Carrots. These were so good that I forgot to take a picture. Spiced to evoke the well-known smoked Middle Eastern meats, the carrots came over black lentils and garbanzos, with a side of olive stew and topped with green harissa. Everything worked perfectly and transported me back to the best restaurants in Israel.
Summer corn custard. Doesn’t it look like it has wings? Far out.
Of course, a meal at Vedge (or any vegan restaurant) would not be complete without several desserts. Kate Jacoby is not a pastry chef but a wizard, and the offerings this time around astounded as always. The most interesting, and most evocative of a Chopped basket of randomness, was the Summer Corn Custard, with fried jalapeno peppers and berries, berry sauce and jalapeno caramel. I know! Can you even wrap your head around how one creates that dish, because I can’t. I was so skeptical, but I’m glad one of my dining companions pushed for it, because dayummm, it was amazing. The custard was reminiscent of old school creamed corn, but much more delicious, obviously, and light and sweet. The fried jalapenos were hot! But the custard and the berries cooled them, and they really proved to be a perfect accompaniment. The caramel, oh my, what genius is behind that! It all worked so well, I still am in awe.
|
We had two more insanely incredible desserts too! I know, this is the best meal EVER! Above is the Yuzu Peach Tart, with brown sugar miso ice cream. Oh man, this was the dessert version of summer on a plate. The ice cream perfectly complemented the warm tart, and the peaches were fresh and wonderful. I could drink that sauce too. I could pretty much drink all the sauces.
|
At left is the dessert I would probably choose over and over again, based on the title alone – the Chocolate Peanut Caramel Mousse, with stout ice cream and a chocolate peanut crumble. I can’t even. This is like everything you could ever want in a dessert – chocolate! peanut butter! caramel! in so many forms! The mousse was thick and layered, so you had to dig deep like ShaunT tells you to in order to get all the layers in one bite. Man alive this was good mousse. Usually I find chocolate mousse to be too rich, or too dull. This mousse puts all others to shame, with the thick, gooey layer of peanut caramel just making everything in the world happy. The stout ice cream was beery! If you like beer, or alcohol of any sort, you will probably like this ice cream. While I appreciated that it served as a really refreshing counterpoint to the deep, heavy flavors of the other two components on the plate, I couldn’t get too into the ice cream because I don’t like alcohol, and I hate beer. So it’s really not fair for me to comment on it. Moving on, the most surprisingly amazing thing was the chocolate peanut crumble! It was like a cross between a blondie, a shortbread cookie, and a soft candy. So perfect, and topped with chocolate ganache. I can’t even deal with how good this was — AND how small it was, especially when shared between three people! It’s a tiny little bite! Note to Vedge: next time I come, give me all of the chocolate peanut stuff. Thanks.
On that note, I really can’t wait to go to Vedge again. I believe it is the best vegan restaurant in the world, and while it can get pricey, it can also be done economically if you go with people and share lots of small dishes. If you have the opportunity to go, you must. And if you think I’m wrong that it’s the best vegan restaurant in the world, I will gladly accept your challenge and eat at and blog about whatever restaurant you believe takes that spot (on your dime, right?). Enjoy!
On that note, I really can’t wait to go to Vedge again. I believe it is the best vegan restaurant in the world, and while it can get pricey, it can also be done economically if you go with people and share lots of small dishes. If you have the opportunity to go, you must. And if you think I’m wrong that it’s the best vegan restaurant in the world, I will gladly accept your challenge and eat at and blog about whatever restaurant you believe takes that spot (on your dime, right?). Enjoy!
Vedge, Philadelphia
- Water speed: Pretty good considering how busy they were
- Bathrooms: There are nice single-serve bathrooms in a hallway off the dining room. Best part – they are handicap accessible!
- Service: Great. It’s rare that you get new silverware between courses nowadays!
- Food: The best vegan magic happens here
- Bonus: Happy hour menu!
Celebrate Good(?) Times Come On: Babka for Yom Kippur
My piece!
Yom Kippur, or the Day of Atonement, is the most sacred and important of all the Jewish holidays. You fast from sundown to sundown (so, a day) and pray, repent, atone, and hope that your past sins are forgiven. And then, if you are like 99% of Jews, you and your relatives break the fast with a smoked fish and lox platter from the local Jewish deli. So, to recap what we’ve learned the past few weeks, Rosh Hashanah:apples::Yom Kippur:bagels.
The bagel part is fine, but the huge platter of fish, not so much. I’ll usually make a hummus or two to add to the mix, and some kind of dessert. This year, I decided to up my game in the dessert area and finally make a recipe I’ve literally had saved for 3 years – VeganDad’s chocolate cinnamon babka. I mean, you don’t get any more Jewish than babka. Why haven’t I made this until now, I wondered? Everyone loves a babka! And chocolate and cinnamon combines the best types. Remember when Jerry & Elaine lost the famous chocolate babka?
The bagel part is fine, but the huge platter of fish, not so much. I’ll usually make a hummus or two to add to the mix, and some kind of dessert. This year, I decided to up my game in the dessert area and finally make a recipe I’ve literally had saved for 3 years – VeganDad’s chocolate cinnamon babka. I mean, you don’t get any more Jewish than babka. Why haven’t I made this until now, I wondered? Everyone loves a babka! And chocolate and cinnamon combines the best types. Remember when Jerry & Elaine lost the famous chocolate babka?
Poor customers of that bakery, having to choose between chocolate and cinnamon. As Joey Tribbiani, my usual source of inspiration, would say, “Put those hands together!”* Let’s do it!
Yeahh this yeast is jumping now!
Then I creamed sugar and Earth Balance (which I didn’t really measure; I just spooned it 6 times and figured it was close to 6 tablespoons), added yogurt, vanilla, the yeast, and then the flour. So, the recipe calls for 15 oz. of flour, which is basically 2 cups, right? I had to use nearly 5 cups and it was still sticky. With only 15 oz., it was pretty liquidy. Maybe I did something wrong, we’ll see. This is all very dramatic.
Then I kneaded kneaded kneeeeaded, ‘cleaned’ the mixing bowl, oiled it, and dropped the ball o’ dough in there. It says to let it sit, covered, for 2 hours, but I was out for 4. I returned to find it puffing nicely in the bowl. 
The best stuff on earth
So, next you roll this up length-wise, as tightly as you can. This is where I not only had trouble but didn’t read the instructions properly. I rolled pretty well (it’s a lot of dough here), but then you are supposed to cut it in half length-wise. Like, exposing chocolate. I cut it in half width-wise, creating two little stumpy arms. Oh well, it’ll taste the same (if you close your eyes*) no matter how you do it.
My stumpy twist
|
I strayed from the recipe somewhat, as I am wont to do, so I’ll splain what I did. I started by warming up some almond milk and adding the yeast. (The recipe calls for 2T of instant yeast, but I had only the packets that are like 2 1/4 t or something. Whatever…we’ll see what happens.) But it didn’t get foamy! I was freaking out. Was it because I used almond milk instead of soy, as the directions said? Was it because my milk was unsweetened? Ahhh! Being somewhat yeast-fearing, I threw it out and started again. This time, I used warm water instead. I have only ever testfoamed yeast + water + sugar, so I stuck with what I know, and it properly Hulked out.
Punch punch punch!
Next, I made the filling. You melt chocolate, margarine, and cinnamon together, then spread it on a parchment paper-lined baking sheet and stick it in the fridge till firm. Once it is firm, roll out your dough into a big rectangle, like 2 feet long, a foot and a 1/2 wide, something like that, then place the chocolate layer right on top, in as many pieces as it takes.
Chocolate layer on top of the rolled-out dough
Rolling with the homies
So, because I did it wrong, my roll was short & stout like a teapot. But I kind of preferred it this way. Can you imagine how long it would have been the right way? And this way is more fun to pull apart.
|
So, once you twist it, you let it sit and rise again for like 1.5 hours. I knowww. It’s probably worth it though. Important yeasting action happening. You probably want real directions, huh? (I’ll use what I did.)
|
INGREDIENTS:
Dough:
Filling:
|
DIRECTIONS:
Filling:
|
ASSEMBLY:
Roll out your dough into a rectangle, about 2′ x 1.5′. Place the chocolate layer right on top of the dough, finagling to cover the whole square. Then, tightly roll the dough lengthwise. Then, cut it in half lengthwise – so the chocolate insides are exposed. And then twist the two halves together. Let this twist sit for 1.5 hours on a parchment-covered baking sheet. Then, bake for 25 minutes at 350°.
Yes, I am recommending that you cut it lengthwise, and not stumpily like I did. My outside browned really nicely, but it was still nearly raw inside. So, that’s the whole point of the long skinny cut – easier baking. I mean, when my version puffed up into a freaking cube, I knew the inside couldn’t be cooked.
Roll out your dough into a rectangle, about 2′ x 1.5′. Place the chocolate layer right on top of the dough, finagling to cover the whole square. Then, tightly roll the dough lengthwise. Then, cut it in half lengthwise – so the chocolate insides are exposed. And then twist the two halves together. Let this twist sit for 1.5 hours on a parchment-covered baking sheet. Then, bake for 25 minutes at 350°.
Yes, I am recommending that you cut it lengthwise, and not stumpily like I did. My outside browned really nicely, but it was still nearly raw inside. So, that’s the whole point of the long skinny cut – easier baking. I mean, when my version puffed up into a freaking cube, I knew the inside couldn’t be cooked.
That’s a huge bitch
It’s pretty great looking though. And yeah, it is DELICIOUS. I definitely recommend making it. But you’ll have an easier time if you cut it long-ways, and not how I did. I mean, this thing is never going to be done cooking. It is bigger than me. But it’s yummy!
*Remember, guess the source/comment on the things that are starred and you will be entered into my big MoFo giveaway! Details tomorrow!
From this post: What was Joey referring to when he said ‘Put those hands together’? And what is the source of the lyrics above the stumpy twist picture?
