It’s mid-December, which means too many people are stressing out about what gifts to buy their loved ones for the holidays. What annoys me almost as much as the vast materialism and selfishness that engulfs this time of year is when people buy checklist gifts. What’s a checklist gift, you ask? It’s what I call the kind of present that people buy just to check that recipient off their list, giving absolutely no thought to what might bring the person joy. NB, so we avoid dumb comments, that my preference would be for people to simply enjoy the company of loved ones and not revel in materialism. BUT. If our society is going to make Christmastime about giving presents, at least make them good presents! Did you really think I’d enjoy the DVDs of ‘American Horror Story’? (I know it’s a great show, but I can’t watch anything remotely scary or dark. Even if just the lighting is dark. People who know me know that!) Or body wash that was tested on animals and smells like a French prostitute? Or, meanest of all, toe socks? (I have webbed toes…toe socks are like giving a toothless person an apple.) Even just writing “Hey you’re nice” on a piece of paper is a better gift for me than those three things. But those things are perfect for other people. You just have to consider the recipient! They say ‘it’s the thought that counts’ for a reason. If you are going to do presents, do them well or don’t do them at all (and focus instead on what the holidays are really about – miracle babies). 

     Most gift guides feature a lot of nice things that the compiler of the guide would like to get, all based on that writer’s personality. This is almost as bad! You guys don’t care what I want, right? (I mean, it’s no secret: I want tickets to every Broadway show I haven’t yet seen, plus a private audience with politicians so that I may yell at them.) What I want won’t help you in your gifting endeavor. Hell, I hate most of the stuff on this list. But the people with the personalities I describe will love it. That’s the point! You have to think about the actual person. 
     Also, I wanted to make a list based on personality types. I dumbed down the descriptors a tad, and I’m sure you’ll think, hey that describes different kinds of people! But for the most part it works doing it this way. You won’t find any crap below about e.g. “What to Buy Your Friend Who Loves Movies” because a) everyone freaking loves movies and b) if you have a friend whose main defining characteristic is loving movies, you don’t need help buying him a gift. See, e.g., ‘What To Get Your Friend Who Loves Baseball”; “What To Get Your Friend Who Loves Working Out”; “What To Get Your Friend Who Loves Cooking With Fancy Olive Oils”. 
     No more checklist gifts! You with me? Let’s get started. 

     Derek Lam, who made the only pair of shorts I actually like wearing, featured an interesting but unflattering mix of checkered patterns, cowboy fringe, and what looked like burlap. The show featured a few mildly pleasant looks, like the white dress below, but it seemed out of place among the rancher-at-the-office theme. Models of color: on 4/30 looks.

     Tocca had a few nice pieces, but overall it looked like a collection of flimsy undergarments that ballerinas would wear to class, and a few for performances. I mean, look at these pictures. Who wears that? Ballerinas. (And teenage girls in London who hate pants.) From my cursory review (and obviously making huge assumptions), I counted zero models of color. But that makes sense, because ballerinas can only be white. 

     I’m not very familiar with the avant-garde group ThreeASFOUR, but after seeing their spring/summer 2014 collection I’m pretty sure they are Lady Gaga’s outfitters, and I’m kind of obsessed with the cray cray. 3/21 looks were modeled by models of color, and every single model had a burnt orange wig on, as the designers paid weird tribute to Project Runway’s Jeffrey Sebellia.

     Speaking of Project Runway, Chrisian Siriano’s collection was exactly the mix of random and crazy that we want and expect from him. I personally liked one thing, but most of it was too odd for me and for most normal dressers. This collection wasn’t as fun to look at as some of his have been, with too little cohesion and too many boring prints. (And more b&w checkers, which apparently are in, but ugly). 6/38 looks on models of color.

     I usually abhor cutouts in all variations, but Yigal Azrouel’s show surprised me with a few pieces I liked. However, there were some dental hygienist outfits that I just don’t understand. And the vast majority of clothes looked very baggy on the models. Impeccable fit is one of the most important qualities to convey in the show, and unless they were going for baggy, this was egregious oversight. 4/31 looks with models of color, I think. 

     Monique Lhuillier focused her palette on pinks, oranges, and creams, offering a few wonderfully fresh evening looks but too many frumpy, lacy, collared things. I’m obsessed with the dresses below, though. 7/39 looks worn on models of color. 

  

    The most talked about moment, of course, happened in Victoria Beckham’s show. Not because of the clean but somewhat boring collection of black, white, and a bit of pink, but because of the this picture! Adorbs!! ANNA WINTOUR IS SMILING! AT A BABY! Best moment of NYFW. Harper is so cute, as is her unknown father. 

    The annual Vaute Couture preorder sale is going on now! As the most beautiful cruelty-free fashion line celebrates New York Fashion Week, it is offering lucky customers the chance to preorder coats, dresses, skirts, even sweaters from the new collection, and order coats from last season, at up to 50% off, with the percentage decreasing each day for the next week. 
     Vaute Couture is changing the face of high fashion in favor of the animals. For those of you who can afford to support the amazing company, do it now while you get such a sick discount! 
Click here for the Cold Weather Outerwear sale
Click here for the Vaute Collection Preorder
    Below are my favorite picks available right now. Nothing beats the original Audrey coat (in white) in my book, but until that comes back, I’ll enjoy looking at these pretty things with envy too. And if anyone feels like being my wealthy benefactor, I’d love any one of these as a present.

   My obsessions with black & white and with stripes have persisted for quite a while now, and this dress combining both of them is not doing me any favors. It’s perfection! I love that it’s actually structured and not free-flowing and pixie-like as the majority of dresses have been lately, catering to the I-don’t-want-to-grow-up-I’m-adorrrrable crowd. Someone please alert me when it goes on sale!