Last month was another phenomenal Veganuary, with hundos of thousos of people pledging to avoid animal products for all of January. Now that it’s over and the groundhog did something and time can go back to having no meaning, we can review who among our most special friends – TV characters – took the challenge and why, and who will try to continue the vegan pledge into whatever clock land we’re in now.

Speaking of clock lands, we’ll start with the greatest show of all time, obviously, because if you know me at all you knew that’s what I was gonna start with.

THE GOOD PLACE

I like to think my man Chidi “I knew you weren’t a soup!” Anagonye knew enough/worried enough about doing the right thing to be vegan already. (Evidence: he drank almond milk – was it because he knew cow’s milk was a no-no??) He said he was a vegetarian and at a restaurant with Uzo he was conflicted between the risotto and the pumpkin soup, two common and lackluster vegan options at non-vegan restaurants. (Not knocking either dish; that’s just not what we go to restaurants for.) But if not (he was shown in flashbacks to eat cheese; hopefully they were flashwaybacks (although then he ate fish in the afterlife)), he would probably be excited to join in the Veganuary challenge. He’d probably greet it with a trademark excited “OooOOoooh!” that he debuted during his chillaxed (that’s a combination of ‘chidi’ and ‘relax’ I just made up) period in season 4. He’d definitely be that excited about vegan food and not just scavenger hunts that tell you the meaning of life!

However, Cheedster would undoubtedly and unfortunately treat his vegan stint as though it was a Lenten fast, with no allowance for enjoyment or indulgence. He’d do it like Michael McKean’s grown-up Doug Forcett, with all lentils and radishes because they have the lowest carbon footprint and no chicken-fried seitan or vegan cupcakes, the poor bastard. And so it wouldn’t stick, because who would be able to maintain such a virtuous, boring diet? So Chidi would make it to January 31, because he would beat himself up to stay with it, and then he would try to do the best he can afterwards (until he dies). That almond milk though!

STAR TREK: LOWER DECKS

I am really enjoying this animated Trek comedy so far! Most of the characters are likable (not the captain; literally the most incompetent captain in Starfleet history) with great voice performances (shout out to my fave pillboi Eugene Cordero). It’s hilarious to have a Star Trek that’s a comedy, a cartoon, and full of cursing and ridiculousness. It’s also fun to pretend it’s a weird space spin-off of the most infuriating shitshow I’ve ever been forced to watch, ‘Below Deck’, because I keep referring to it as Star Trek: Below Deck even though the characters aren’t evil simpletons who can’t make a reasonable argument if their tip depended on it. But I guess an advanced starship (Janeway voice (I do it so good): ‘we’re a starrrrrship’) is kind of like a luxury yacht, right?

My choice for Veganuary participant is Beckett Mariner, not because she cares about animals but because someone mentioned it in passing and said it would probably be hard, and she took it as a dare and was like ‘YOU WANNA SEE HARD, HARD’S GONNA BE HOW MUCH MY SUCCESS ON FEBRUARY 1st HITS YOU IN THE GODDAMN FACE WHEN YOU SEE HOW AMAZING I DID.’ Mariner makes me sooo anxious and uneasy with all her chaotic energy and NOT FOLLOWING THE RULES but I can’t deny that she’s an awesome badass. And considering the replicators can make all kinds of amazing things, it’s probably super easy on the ship, so I am gonna take the very unsteady position and say she’d stick with it. Also, she’s always right (okay she may have misplaced the target on the back of the person inhabited by a parasite in episode 4 but she still knew a parasite was around!) so I refuse to believe that she wouldn’t be right about the right way to eat. (Okay but query whether all replicated food is vegan by default because no animals are used or harmed by space machines…? Perhaps the closest analogy would be lab-grown meat…which I still wouldn’t consider vegan…okay Ima need someone to do their masters thesis on this subject.)

PARKS & RECREATION

The obvious choice would be Chris Traeger, literally a famous health freak. It seems like a no-brainer to assume that he would jump in with literally both feet and WIN Veganuary. But it truly would be a no-brainer, as in something you’d think if you had no brain (change approved!). If I asked Chris Traeger to go vegan for a month, Chris would hundo p give me the biggest smile and say “my diet is perfect! I’ve honed it over years to provide the perfect amount of nutrients to keep my body in tip-top shape! To change it would be a crime against humanity.” And then he would turn on his heel and go run 10 miles to perish the thought of changing his routine.

And so the real Veganuarier of the P&R department would be…Leslie Knope. Of course it’s Leslie. It’s something popular that she will do to try to connect to the public and improve her image. But like everything she tries for those reasons, it will backfire. Of course HER public will use it as a weapon against her to call her an elitist that isn’t of the people. Ugh, if only she was a politician in Eagleton – they are all definitely doing Veganuary (well, by default, since a month-long post-NYE green juice cleanse is technically vegan). Leslie would barely eke out the final weeks before her polling numbers required her to be photographed at Paunch burger eating a Greasy Lard Bomb (their best-seller!) and drinking a child-sized soda (it’s roughly the size of a two-year-old child if he were liquefied).

THE MANDALORIAN

lolol definitely not my little spider-eating larvae-eating friends-baby-eating lizard-eating everything-he-can-get-his-lil-baby-hands-on cutest little adorable baby yodibear, that’s for sure!

GILMORE GIRLS

I’m pretty sure Gilmore Girls is full of vegan jokes (or maybe it was just Sookie complaining about cooking for vegetarians – my dude, if you can’t cook for vegetarians, you aren’t a talented chef) because much as I love her work, ASP is kind of a b word. I can’t see any of the original cast ever seriously entertaining veganism, at least not in the early 2000s. But doing so now is a different story, and I can see modern Paris realizing it’s the right way forward. Maybe I can even see college Paris doing it, college Paris who cared about Burmese political prisoners. If she truly was preoccupied with the plight of the less fortunate – which she really may have been since she was no longer doing stuff just to get into Harvard – then she would care about social justice. And once you care about social justice you can’t ignore the role veganism plays in it! When she realizes that true veganism is intersectional and important in the fight against all the -isms, Paris would be firing on ALL cylinders trying to spread the vegan message like she’s been doing it for years, as all new vegans do. I can see her chasing Rory down the halls of Yale screaming HOW COULD YOU KNOW ABOUT THE EFFECTS OF ANIMAL AGRICULTURE ON THE CLIMATE AND NOT EVEN ATTEMPT TO GO VEGAN RORY, IT’S LIKE YOU WANT ME TO YELL AT YOU ALL THE TIME.

Side note, Paris – who hates the sick, who makes everything an argument and wins it – should have been a lawyer, not a doctor. Makes no sense.

BRIDGERTON

Ah Bridgerton, Netflix’s biggest show, everyone’s favorite obsession, is such a pleasant, enjoyable show for something that is objectively not great. I know lots of you just gasped in anger and are like ‘excuse me it IS great’ but remove the hot duke and focus on the strings of plot that were dangled into relevance and then snipped before they could be made to make sense and tell me that to my face. Excuse me WHY was the modiste acting like it was her (you know what I’m talking about)? WHY was the artist man introduced to Brother #2 if nothing was going to happen there (string! snipped!)? WHY did ANYTHING in the Papa Featherington storyline happen?! I mean seriously WOOF on that last one. How did they get Julie Andrews to do this, my loooord. Anyway, not that anyone in this era would stop eating meat or anything, but if veganism was a thing and they could eat vegetables without dying, I bet on Eloise, and not only because she’s the only likable character. Okay yeah maybe because she is the only likable character. What can I say, she’d be fun to hang out with at a vegan cafe. Also, she thinks for herself and has strong opinions about what’s right and what’s wrong. A perfect baby vegan!

WEST WING

I’m watching the West Wing for the first time (I know you can’t believe it) and I am so obsessed already. But listen, although I LOVE love all the characters, I also kind of hate them all at times. That Sorkin, he just loves him some shoehorning in of political ‘points’ that he thinks are like wow deep but they are so easily refuted that it gets kind of annoying. But overall love love. Okay so anyway, thanks to the aforementioned Sorkinizing of great characters, over the 3-4 seasons I’ve seen so far, they’ve all lost their ability to claim a strong social-justice head on any pair of shoulders. So no one is getting chosen for that. But as far as being ‘with it’ in terms of hot social trends (that’s us!) and popular culture, no one beats my girl Donnatella Moss. Husbo finds Donna annoying but I forking adore her. So I put my money on her doing Veganuary. She would get zero support from the rest of the staff. Okay maybe a little from Charlie because he’s the absolute best but he would make some really good subtle snarky comments amid his overall support. Josh would endlessly mock her. (Josh is kind of awful to her so far and it le breaks le heart.) Leo would completely not care. President Barlet, who loves the Butterball hotline more than he loves his kids, would not see the point. Toby would monotone grump at her about it. Sam would be whatever but like his Parks & Rec counterpart would already think he’s too good to need to make any changes. (I firmly believe Mike Schur saw the season 1 West Wing scene where Sam says “I’m nuts for dental hygiene” and thus was born Chris Traeger. He is the early version of that man for sure.)

Unrelated: Stockard Channing’s singsongy delivery is the greatest gift. She sounds like the 1940s optometrist in that joke. It’s fantastic.

LUPIN

OOH LA LA Lupin est un si beau spectacle oui oui oui! J’aime tellement Omar Sy et son enfant est amusant (omg cette fin cependant) et la supercherie est magnifique! Oui oui oui! Je peux voir beaucoup de personnages essayer le véganisme puisque le Paris moderne est plutôt bon pour ça (il faut juste une bonne baguette pour vivre de toute façon!). Mon premier choix pour Veganuary est la journaliste, Fabienne Beriot, non seulement parce qu’elle avait le chien le plus incroyable (J’accuse! Amoureuse des animaux!) Mais parce qu’elle était le GRAND genre de journaliste – la GUERRIÈRE DE LA JUSTICE SOCIALE qui découvre la vérité! Oui oui oui oui! Elle ferait ‘totes’, oui oui oui. Ugh, Fabienne.

Okay mes petits babies, what are your choices?

The post Which TV characters did Veganuary and which ones are sticking with it? appeared first on Laughfrodisiac.

Some of you know why I haven’t posted in a long time, and it’s not just because the theatres have closed and I’m lost without it. I got sick (before the UK implemented lockdown measures (hooray for countries with ineffectual governments headed by people who look like gross blond puffy twins!)) and it suuuucked. Slash, sucks, because the virus caused some residual effects that haven’t gone away yet. I had probably a mild case, which is hilarious, because it was the worst I ever felt in every way. My experience was like if a really, really uncoordinated squirrel was given a gun and told to shoot at the target, the target being me. Every day, the pain would be in a different random spot, running the gamut of everything a human body can feel. Seriously, name a symptom of anything, and I bet I had 90% of them. Not the Dara O’Briain sort like ‘sudden blindness’ or ‘loss of height’ but almost everything else you can think of. The unpredictability was about as fun as the pain sounds. One constant was the fatigue. That shit was no joke. I thought I knew from tired before since I’m like alwayyys tired but this was like ‘hi I would like to get up to pee but…cannot’ type legit fatigue, where I was actively trying to get my brain to send movement commands to limbs and just failing miserably. But now I am able to put sentences together (enjoy!) again and stay out of bed for most of the day (I do get up at noon most days but that’s by accident, I do not plan to nor want to, so that doesn’t really count…or something).

The crazy thing is, again, this was probably mild. I had to go to the hospital once but they sent me home with meds, and I had to get blood drawn a few times, but that’s it. And I’m like the healthiest goddamn dancer in the American Ballet Academy, who the hell are you, so people who are crying about wearing masks should get in the g-d bin. It doesn’t just affect old people or people with underlying conditions (which is like…suuuper vague and probably 90% of the population has some sort of underlying condition?? what kind of stupid mental gymnastics is this for people to pretend they are not at risk) but even if it was it would still be awful and worth protecting other people, you absolute bellends who don’t think safety precautions or grandma matter because you let your roots look truly atrocious and now you are blaming coronavirus when it’s really just your own preexisting bullshit.

Anyway that’s enough of that. You know I love to overshare on here (hello Mongolia posts) but let’s talk about CONTENT! I LOVE CONTENT! Honestly if I hadn’t been sick, and if my neighbors weren’t rude pieces of 8 who don’t care about the people around them, I’m very lucky that I would be fine with this quarantine. (Oh and if London friends need a small bottle of hand sanitizer or a roll of toilet paper, hit me up, we have some extra and don’t want to be considered a hoarder of anything but beans, beans, the special beans, I let him go but I didn’t know he’d stolen my beanssss.) On that note, I am going to share a few thoughts on the things we’ve watched!

THEATRE

Praise to the powers that be for releasing recordings of live theatrical productions for our entertainment during this time, and praise to the ones who had already had their goodies available online on places like YouTube and BroadwayHD.

Before I get to the specifics, I feel the need to comment on the ongoing discussion of theatre bootlegs, especially given the Patti Murin business from a few days ago. If you don’t follow Broadway stan twitter, well first of all that’s wonderful and I wish I had also gone my life without seeing the truly mind-numbing ‘arguments’ on it. Broadway star Patti said something about how bootlegs would put Broadway out of business if they were ever allowed to reopen. Which is, not true. However, the fact that that is not true does not mean that bootlegs are great wonderful things that should be widely made and disseminated. These are not the only two options in this argument, as, sadly, lots of gen z bway stanz seem to think. Yes, it’s unfair that those of us who don’t live in NYC or have lots of money cannot see every Broadway show every season. Broadway is inaccessible in the grand scheme of things. But we are not entitled to see every Broadway show every season. This isn’t a right of ours. I’m upset that I have missed dozens and dozens of productions I would have loved to have seen since moving out of the tri-state area. It sucks. I would love if they released recordings of, at the very least, productions after they close. But just because I want that doesn’t mean I deserve to have that, or that live theatre productions are required to think about being available to any audience that isn’t live in their theatre.

Obviously, this is even harder for people who don’t live near any live theatre hub, but there are so many productions online already LEGALLY. The feeling of entitlement that we all must have access to every single current production is insane. Not only is it theft, guys, must I remind you of my lauded 2015 Vida Vegan Con presentation called “Stop Breaking the Law, Assholes!”, but every bootleg you watch ruined the experience of another audience member, and probably enraged performers (you are not slick, chief; we all see your phone). My theatre-going experience has been ruined lots of times by people trying to record. The arguments made in favor of bootlegs are like an endless barrage of begged questions. The one with any validity is that theatre can be inaccessible to so many who want to experience it. That is true (though not an excuse for whatever solution you civilian come up with). The funniest thing for me is that the people actually taking the videos are there. They don’t have the ‘but it’s inaccessible!’ argument on their side, so what do they have? A ticket to the Bad Place, I hope.

Also, this pandemic has revealed just how much content is online already. No it’s not all or most of what has played on Broadway or the West End. But it’s something. So people people arguing will make it seem like there’s positively nothing available to them, and that’s not true. Yes we all want more, we all want to see the theatre we missed out on and especially new modern works. And it would be great if producers &c were more forthcoming and forward-thinking about making recordings available at some point, especially for shows that close early. But wanting that to happen isn’t sufficient reason to jump in and fill in the problem with your own solutions, especially when that ‘solution’ is something that everyone involved in this thing you profess to ‘love’, despises.

Maybe, we can hope, that the success and popularity of online recordings will lead to more when things get back to normal. But you aren’t going to get there this way. It’s really quite mind-boggling how growing up with the internet, with everything available to access instantly, has given younger generations this ill-conceived notion of entitlement to every sort of content. The psychology of that is super interesting, and something I’d love to learn more about, but alas, I am not an expert here to school you on that. You know what I *am* an expert in? IP LAW. STOP BREAKING THE LAW, ASSHOLES.

So here is a partial list of all the theatre content we have watched legally recently. I want to emphasize that this is a partial list. I’m not including shows I really disliked because that would just be rude, and I’m not including things lots of you probably watched like last week’s Cats livestream because I thought I had more time (I really dislike that ALW’s drops are only 24 hours in the UK, but 48 for the rest of the world. I HIGHLY DISLIKE THAT THAT RULE CAUSED ME TO MISS THAT SHOW BUT OH WELL, I AM NOT ENTITLED TO SEE THAT JUST BECAUSE I WOULD LIKE TO.) Anyway, my point is, there is SO MUCH to watch. I have a to-watch list a mile long. Tell me again how there’s just nooo way to see anything good legally??

• Into the Woods – The original Broadway production (well with a replacement Cinderella (who is fabulous)) is on YouTube. I KNOW. The more I watch this show, the more I impressed I am. It has some of the most genius lyrics that are also incredibly efficient, like my favorite “careful the things you wish/wishes come true/not free.” THAT’S THE WHOLE THING, wishes are not free. Ugh this show is so good.
• Sunday in the Park with George – The original Broadway production, also on YouTube, was shown on PBS decades ago. I remember my mom, obsessed with Mandy Patinkin, watched it in awe and I was like in single digits but remember watching with her and being like ‘oh theatre is magic, I get it, I’m gonna love this shit’. This show is my happy place, and I watched it a lot while I was stuck in bed. I think ‘Move On’ is my favorite Sondheim song. So deep and so moving and oh my god the choice may have been mistaken the choosing was not??? FUCK ME UP FAM.
• Cyprus Avenue – Speaking of stuff that forking destroys you, this 2016 play starring Stephen Rea did just that but not in a good way. It tricks you into thinking it’s funny but then nooope it is beyond harrowing. Really well done and really effective but my god, I was messed up for days.
• I and You – This production with Maisie Williams at the Hampstead Theatre was not my favorite; in fact, I despised her character with every fiber of my being, so annoying. But the ending was pretty interesting, even if it loses some of it’s power from the coincidence that Maisie’s Game of Thrones castmate did a romcom last year with the exact same twist. Hey, hey that’s joincidence with a c.
• One Man, Two Guvnors – The National Theatre’s worldwide livestreams have been an very welcome addition to the quarantine online viewing, and this is definitely my favorite. We saw this show, with pre-USA-famous James Corden, on Broadway, so to see the London production (the same cast, I believe) was a treat. It’s always fun to note what the two different audiences laugh at. Oliver Chris’s pompous posh boy was one of the funniest performances I have ever, ever seen, and we are still quoting him all the time, yop, yop, yop. It’s almost sad to realize that the hummus bit wasn’t unique to our performance, but THANK GOD the audience member who gets absolutely tortured was in on it.
• Jesus Christ Superstar – ALW’s weekly show drops have been a lot of fun because he is forking insane. His catalogue is as random as my symptom squirrel, but I love it. This one was a great weekend afternoon treat, with a fantastic performance from Tim Minchin as Judas. The music in this show is largely great and fun, and this production’s extra rock concert vibe and setting worked.
• Pride & Prejudice the Musical – This new musical, recording in a regional theatre in California, was SO fun. I absolutely love P&P (who doesn’t) and this was a very pleasant and enjoyable version, although I wish the songs were more memorable. We watched the full 100 hour Colin Firth miniseries soon after, so worth it, although I think I prefer the Keira movie!
• Jane Eyre – Okay so this play from the National is long, but it is very effective. I hated the horse noise interludes, but that is in large part due to how absolutely horrendous the sound quality on YouTube is, with the dialogue being too quiet but the horse noises shaking our walls. I found the lead performance very moving and wonderful.
• Bandstand – The Playbill.com paid release of this exquisite 2016 Broadway show solidified that it’s one of my favorites, even though it makes me cry literally the entire time. You can search ‘bandstand’ at the top of this page to read my review from back then so I won’t go into all the details now, but man alive it is perfection. HOT DAM COREY COTT. Why this was a short-term release is beyond me, especially if it’s paid, just keep making that bank guys and leave it up.
• Beardo – Okay so we ABSOLUTELY ADORE Dave Malloy, especially when his work is super weird (always), but this was probably his weirdest show yet. It was enjoyable and the music my god I LOVE that he has such a recognizable sound. But it was so f-ing weird.
• Drawing the Line – This play from the Hampstead Theatre about how India and Pakistan were divided by British buffoons was interesting, if not my favorite or the most exciting show.
• Phantom of the Opera – ALW dropped the Sierra Boggess – Ramin Karimloo version, and Sierra is my favorite Christine so I was happy that his was husbo’s first full-length exposure to this BONKERS show. I love it. The music is so good and the story is so batshit, god ALW you one crazy mufucka.
• Love Never Dies – I had heard that this sequel to Phantom was bonkerballs as well, and it was not. It was actually quite tame compared to the original, with only one generally memorale/good song. I enjoyed it, actually, but I wanted more batshit besides how awful they made Raoul. It is quite an accomplishment, however, that they made him so bad that you actually root for Christine to be with the crazy deformed murderer guy, did everyone forget that he was a murderer?
• The Arrest of Ai Weiwei – this was ANXIETY ON A STICK, jfc. The Chinese government, woof. I guess that means it was hella effective and successful.
• Frankenstein (Jonny Lee Miller as the Creature) – I love that the National released both version of this acclaimed production, with JLM and Bandersnatch Cummerbund switching roles of the doctor and his creature. This was some heavy, dark shit, and wow, it was AMAZING. I loved JLM as the creature because he was so sympathetic and even though he pulls a Phantom and starts a-murdering, you feel for him. (Thanks Cadry for that tip!)
• By Jeeves – This was hilariously painful, ALDubs. Not even Donna Lynne Champlin saved this for me. However, I’m sharing it because if you are a) British or b) a fan at all of PG Wodehouse, you will enjoy this. I am technically #a but not really, and apparently defffffinitely not #b.
• Sea Wall -This 30 minute monologue written for and performed by Andrew Scott is on YouTube if you want to get tricked into thinking it’s fun to watch the Hot Priest do something new to you but then somehow start bawling and feeling sick with grief for a fictional person, so.
• Legally Blonde – Back when MTV did the reality show “The Search for Elle Woods” (inferior to the amazing “Legally Brown” search for the new piragua guy) to find the Broadway cast’s new star, they shared this proshot of the original production, which is on YouTube. It is such a fun show, with the BEST opening number (hello Annaleigh Ashford you queen). However, be warned that the MTV audience was very much the precursor to the NBC/ABC live musical event audiences where the producers aparrently tell them ‘just scream and shout and wooo as much as you possible can! it’ll be great!’ it is not great.
• Shrek – The proshot of the original Broadway production is on Netflix for most of the world, but luckily for those of us in the UK, it’s also on Amazon to rent for £3.49. One of the most surprising shows with a wonderful score, Shrek will fill you with joy and make you cry at how moving Brian D’arcy James is and how jealous even Eugene Levy would be of his eyebrows.
• Oh, Hello – This may be the most I ever paid for a show in person (and we took my brother too, and it was the hardest we’ve ever laughed maybe, oh my god they are geniuses) but I still am giddy over getting this free on Netflix (well free after Netflix costs). Jon Mulaney and Nick Kroll are sick geniuses. I’ve been listening to their new Oh, Hello p’dcast where they…talk about Princess Diana and it is just as ridic and hilarious as it sounds, I adore them.
• Newsies – Available to rent on Amazon, this recording of the original Broadway cast is a joy. You get Jeremy Jordan and you get the most gymnastic choreography Broadway maybe ever saw, what more could you want? I saw this standing room, so this is one online experience I think I prefer (sooo funny to be like ‘ow my feet and back hurt’ when you are watching boys do like, 1000 backflips on newspapers).
• West Side Story – The classic movie version, the absolute best, is on Netflix. I still cry a whole forking lot it’s so damn wonderful.
• South Pacific – The 1958 movie was on TV here on my birthday! What a treat! It’s also on Amazon! Mitzi Gaynor is no Kelli O’Hara but it’s still pretty great!
• Hello, Dolly! – The Barbra Streisand version is on Amazon people. Helloooooo Dolly welcome into my hoooooome Dolly.
• Oklahoma! – we saw the new dark Broadway production last year and fell head over heels for it, it was so flipping amazing. This original movie is much lighter but a great watch, on Amazon.
• Pippin – The original Broadway production from 1981 is on Amazon, what are you EVEN DOING if you aren’t watching it.
• Eugenius – This sweet and clever London musical about a teen who writes comics about superheroes is on YouTube. I really enjoyed this show in London and I’m so glad they are making it available online. So fun!
• Passing Strange – On YouTube to buy or rent, this Broadway show from Stew was compelling and unique. I don’t think I appreciated it when I saw it live, so it’s a treat to reexamine and reexperience it.
• Miss Saigon -The 2016 West End 25th Anniversary Gala performance is on Amazon, with Eva Noblezada as Kim. She is. Forking. Amazing.
• 21 Chump Street – a 20 minute musical written by Lin-Manuel? Yes please. Free on YouTube and worth the extremely short time commitment, even if you will be angry because ACAB.
• Take Me to the World: Sondheim’s 90th Birthday Celebration – I have watched this YouTube tribute at least 500 times in the past few weeks. I wasn’t even a huge fan of Melissa Errico or Elizabeth Stanley before but after hearing their versions of “Children and Art” and “The Miller’s Son”, respectively, I would kill for them.
• Smash Reunion Concert – I’m sure I will watch this one 500x as well. Here’s the link!

A lot of these were available for years before the pandemic. There are dozens of productions out there, at least. Many more than most people get to see live in their lifetimes. Tell me again how there’s nothing??

I’ve also watched 10 or so full Tony Awards broadcasts from the previous century, it’s so fun. Audra still dominates, what a ledge. They used to wait to applaud each announced nominee until all 4-5 were announced, SO POLITE. But that stopped about the same time they started playing off every speech after only 8 seconds. It’s really fun to watch how the awards show changed, from a calm polite event with little intro speeches from like Bernadette to the raucous energy parades of like NPH jumping through a hoop while singing. LOVES IT.

I’ve obviously watched even more television and movie content, which I will share in a separate post since this, as per my uzh, is Quite Long. What have you watched? I want to know! I want to talk about theatreeee it’s my favorite thing to do! Is there anything on my list that you didn’t know about and are going to watch? dooo itttt.

The post I LOVE CONTENT! All the Thoughts/Things/Theatre I’ve Been Having/Doing/Watching appeared first on Laughfrodisiac.

Previous editions:

1. One
2. Two
3. Buckle my
4. Shoe

KICKSTARTER

Thanks to my pal Rachel from the greatest internet group OF ALL TIME, the PPK, for bringing this issue to my attention. So, you know how during the Industrial Revolution, workers – from babies to oldies – were worked to the bone, often killed due to dangerous practices, never given days off, fired if they were hurt or sick, and generally always suffering because there were no laws and so factories were run the Wild West? Well, naturally, the advent of modern labor law began during the Indy Rev as workers sought better conditions, the right to form and join labor unions, and a general agreement to not be docked pay if they had to sweep the cotton bits from under the enormous death machine while it was still on (although that was mostly for kids) (this is a true thing I learned about in Manchester’s science and industry museum! is horrifying!). These laws are vital, as you know unless you are literally a corporate overlord longing for the good old days but then seriously what are you doing on this page, as is the freedom to form and join unions in order to achieve stronger bargaining power and legal rights.

Unions are necessary in a capitalist society, but Kickstarter is like mmm I don’t know, those late 19^th-early 20^th century times were really fun for a lot of people. Due to the company’s preoccupation with I don’t know, manufacturing for war time and ladies beginning to show their ankles, Kickstarter has gotten into some union busting. The company is in an ongoing unionization effort, and two employees involved in the effort were recently fired. They think it’s because of the union activity, while Kickstarter says it’s for performance issues. And yeah, maybe it was, but that doesn’t explain why Kickstarter still doesn’t recognize its employee union, or why, when asked, the company stated it would not voluntarily recognize the union. I mean, wtf guys! Did Sally Field make those placards and win an Oscar for nothing? FOR NOTHING, PEOPLE? How dare you ignore her!

I know that past editions of the What’s Pissing Me Off Today post have been like “don’t shop at this place! They’re mean! Don’t give them money! I hate them!” but I can’t really do that for this one. What am I gonna say, don’t support interesting indie projects or small businesses who may need the site for fundraising? I mean, suggest one of the many other sites to them, but Kickstarter does have the most name recognition. I’m extra mad because the people who use Kickstarter shouldn’t suffer (probably). So maybe if you are looking to raise funds, just don’t choose them. And also, in general, don’t support union busters!

LAURA INGRAHAM’S ADVERTISERS

I hate that I’m talking about such a garbage person on my happy site but her brother made me. So Laura Ingraham is a Nazi monster, as we all know, such a Nazi monster (or…Nazster?) that her own brother has disowned her in a series of truly incredible tweets. What a Thanksgiving it’ll be this year! He can come to mine! The companies that continue to advertise with her are of course also Nazsters who do not, I repeat really do not, understand the first amendment, and who have been profiled in the past when e.g. she went after young activist David Hogg. She’s even shittier now than she was before, so here are her advertisers as of July.

South Beach Diet: LOL I remember when this was big when I was in high school and we made one of their cookie recipes, it was literally just egg whites and peanut butter and stevia mixed and then baked. PASS.

Fungi-Nail: Of course her viewers need this.

Rohto: Yeah I need eye drops too but I’ll get them from someone else chief.

SeroVital: These are like weird vitamins and HGH? Um.

NFL Network: We already know they are misogynist and racist monsters jfc they are THE WORST.

Waterpik: These fuckers too lazy to floss.

Stamps.com: Every podcast is now cancelled.

Coravin: None of her viewers have ever had to save a bottle of opened wine, gimme a break.

Takl: This is the worst brand name I’ve ever heard and people literally can’t even say mine.

Roman Pharmacy: This is my FAVORITE one on the list. You could not ask for something more perfect for Fox viewers. It is 104% perfect. So this is a health app, for men, that gets them medical service through the app so they don’t have to leave their homes/basement dungeons and actually go see a doctor. Oh the toxic masculinity in so much of this. And don’t with the ‘well some people are too ill to leave the house.’ The main service, and what their media coverage is mostly about, is for erectile dysfunction meds. It is perfect.

Energizer: fuck that bunny.

Bausch & Lomb: They test on animals anyway.

Sandals Hotel/Resort: YA BASIC.

Sheex: Is this when you eat at a Sheetz and then sheetz yourself?

Safelite Auto Glass Co: Checks out. I bet they are all terrible drivers.

Nutrisystem: “Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants.”

USAA: The extra A is for Asshole

MyPillow: This is another favorite of mine. Their twitter is overrun with supporters congratulating them for sticking with their fight for freedom and pledging to buy their pillows in THE NAME OF FREEDOM. People are so FORKING STUPID.

Lifelock: That’s what her viewers are suffering from.

StarKist: tuno.

WeatherTech: These people care about their cars almost as much as their guns.

HomeToGo.com: For people who want to travel but like not really.

ClearChoice Dental: I mean at least some of them go to a dentist.

Tecovas: They make leather cowboy boots. It’s all like a stereotype.

Prevagen: This supplement claims to help memory loss. God her viewers are old. Just take algae-based omega 3.

Carfax: sell dem cars.

Elite Singles Dating Service: BUT YOU HATE THE ELITE!

The Zebra: Terrible name for car insurance! (Great name for a striped horse.)

Eli Lilly & Novo Nordisk: They do love Big Pharma.

What a bunch of idiots we share this planet with!

Maybe next time we can do a list of companies I love! Optimism! (Except there’s No Ethical Consumption Under Capitalism…so really I’d just be recommending that you watch The Good Place (BSE)). What’s on your list this week?

The post Voting with Your Dollar: Things Making Me Mad Again appeared first on Laughfrodisiac.

Hey folks, we have some real jerkfaces to talk about today! I feel compelled to note in response to some talk talk in my ear holes that OF COURSE these aren’t the most important issues to be talking about. These are things I suggest taking in consideration for people who ALREADY know not to support Nazis/animal cruelty/destruction of earth/racists/rapists/&c and want to know a little more about where their money goes. I don’t wanna hear any of that “why don’t you talk about something more important like the Amazon” nonsense. (Answer: BECAUSE WE ALREADY KNOW NOT TO EAT BEEF.) (Although the Amazon is on fire and that’s probably the most pressing concern right now so definitely donate to Rainforest Alliance, Rainforest Trust, Amazon Watch, and/or Rainforest Action Network if you have spare cash. And stop eating beef.)

HOTELS

Sheldon Adelson is a corrupt billionaire (redundant) who represents the extremely dangerous extreme far-right movement. He gave $82 million to Cheeto Mussolini and Republicans in 2016, more than three times the next largest individual donor. His $5 million donation to Trump’s inaugural committee is the largest single donation to any such inauguration in history. His support for Trump’s regime seems dependant on how the toilet president has intertwined the republican party with the terrible policies of Israel’s Benjamin Netanyahu. And Adelson’s money isn’t just sent in an envelope to Trump and left at that. The New York Times reported that he was part of a ‘shadow National Security Council’ that pushed for Trump to destroy the Iran deal and to move the Israeli embassy to Jerusalem, two supremely stupid moves that endanger many people, Jews included (as do most of Trump’s decisions and policies, as they contribute to the rise in anti-Semitism, a point rich assholes tend not to give a shit about) (there was a play called Bad Jews and I never saw it but I think it was about Adelson (and the Kushners) (and any other Jew that supports Trump I mean I just DO NOT GET IT how do you care about preventing Israel from being shared by people who already live there more than you care about Nazis running your own country??).

In addition to all the terrible things Sheldon does – like funding Rabbi Shmuley’s work, buying or publishing Israeli daily newspapers as well as the Las Vegas Review-Journal and exerting editorial control over content that dares criticize the corruption at his casinos (latter) or Bibi (former), and funding a group that opposes anti-Israel discussion on college campuses – he also owns the Venetian Casino in Las Vegas, so not staying there is one regular person way of not putting your money in his most-likely-gross-and-dirty-and-sticky-maybe-from-an-unwrapped-cough-drop pocket. Sheldon, a sort of Alex-Mack goo pile that reformed into a solid improperly, founded the parent company Las Vegas Sands Corporation and is the chairman and CEO. The company also owns The Palazzo on the Vegas Strip. I’m pretty sure there isn’t one casino in Vegas that isn’t owned by a corrupt asshole billionaire, but we’re focusing on this asshole today. I mean Vegas casinos suck anyway; stay off the strip maybe? I don’t know I hate Vegas. But I do love Singapore, so it makes me sad to report my recent discovery that Sheldon the Bellend also owns the most famous sight there – the Marina Bay Sands, the famous triple tower hotel with the viewing platform across all three. You know it as the location of the party at the end of Crazy Rich Asians. It’s super famous. (They also own a lot of hotels and casinos in Macau but who is staying there, ugh boring.)

Suffice it to say, this jackwagon sucks, so if you want a fake Italian gondola ride, just rent a canoe and find a creek and a striped boatneck shirt.

COSMETICS

Most of the companies implicated herein aren’t vegan anyway but I super extra urge those of you who do use their products to read on. Recently, the organization behind the #grabyourwallet boycotts have added Estee Lauder to the list, along with its subsidiary companies. And it’s for dern good reason: Ron Lauder, board member and heir to the g-d entire shibang, contributed to Trump’s Victory Committee. What a jackass. Unfortunately, the reach of Estee Lauder is broad. I cannot sufficiently prepare you for the list to come. The parent company owns (gird your loins):

Aveda

Clinique

Origins

Bobbi Brown

Jo Malone

MAC

Smashbox

Aerin (but who really uses that)

Darphin

La Mer (fuck that noise anyway)

Prescriptives

Too Faced

Bumble & Bumble

I mean we shouldn’t be surprised since, as we regularly establish here, all billionaires are immoral, but also Estee Lauder was the company that worked with Trump in the early aughts on launching his signature fragrance so they’ve always been in cahoots. I bet it was the fragrance of the 57th Street subway station in the summer mixed with piss-stained hospital bed sheets.

I know that is some list, though, like astonishingly big and bad. Luckily, there are some cruelty-free cosmetics brands that are even better, that don’t test on animals and don’t support monsters. LUSH cosmetics are easy to find – just follow your nose; you can smell the shop from a block away – and have many vegan products. BareFaced Beauty, Sugarpill Cosmetics, and Revolution Makeup are also dependably cruelty-free brands and I’m pretty sure they don’t support Trump. Makeup experts are better sources than I am, of course, so check out sites like logicalharmony.net for more info (although of course their most recent post is about Too Faced ack!).

TELEVISION

Okay WHAT THE FORK, ABC?! I have never watched “Dancing with the Stars” but I am LIVID about their casting Sean Spicer on the new season of that bullshirt. Trump’s former press secretary is not a star, he is not funny, and he is not trendy or cool. He is literally a man responsible for defending untold atrocities and lying to the American public and the world about what this administration was doing. He should be going to jail with all the rest of the monsters, but instead he’s being paraded out as goofball entertainment? NO.

Some people have rolled their eyes at the outrage over ‘just a stupid TV show’. And that kind of reaction completely misses the horrifying point that this outrage is really about: Putting Spicer on this show is normalizing what he did and as a result what the administration has done. Normalizing their continued destruction of our laws, systems, and our humanity makes a mockery of morality. It’s treating evil as entertainment. That’s nothing to dismiss just because it’s being done through a stupid TV show. In fact, that makes it all the more horrifying and important to stand against. We’ve let too much happen already; letting them excuse and use this man as entertainment is a surefire step in remaining a fascist state. Spicer and the lot of them should be entertaining judges at The Hague with how stupid they are and how obvious guilty they are, not entertaining the very country they’ve destroyed with their g-d dancing.

That’s it for this fortnight of What I Hate Now, the alternate title for this series. Chime in with your thoughts and/or what’s bugging you this week.

The post Voting with Your Dollar: Hotels, Cosmetics, and TV on My List appeared first on Laughfrodisiac.

Today we are discussing GOTTAMMED Trump supporters. GOTTAMM THEM ALL.

Equinox, SoulCycle, & more

In NYC one summer, I thought it would be like suh cul to join Equinox, the fanciest, coolest, most exclusive (and expensive) gym out there. My branch was all I hoped it would be – there was a smoothie bar, and there were celebrities (I don’t ask for much). I even ran into Raul Esparza one day! But today, I’m ready to give Raul Esparza up. Not that I go to Equinox anymore, but you know what I’m saying. It’s not worth it. And I know people are obbbsesssssed with SoulCycle (all those memes about people who do CrossFit never being able to stop talking about it should really be about SoulCycle) (side note why is every trendy exercise brand two capitalized words merged together it’s pissing me off). But anyway, spinning junkies, it’s time to give Peloton, whatever the fork their business model is, even more business because FORK Equinox and FORK SoulCycle.

This week, news came out that the founder and chairman of Related Cos., an enormous (and infuriatingly generic named) real estate company, is a Trump supporter. And not just like your uncle is a Trump supporter; I mean the influential kind that billionaires are, the ones who are guaranteeing the safety of his job and endangering the rest of us. Stephen Ross, the man in question, plans to host a fundraiser for Cheeto Mussolini’s reelection in New York TODAY. How much funds does he plan on raising? The tickets are $100,000 a head, for lunch and a photo (and they go up from there). THAT’S A LOT OF CHEETOS, MUSSOLINI!

So why does this matter for those of us who love fancy gyms and/or spin classes despite the crotch pain that you never get used to? Related Cos. owns Equinox and SoulCycle, and so there is a huge twitter boycott spreading in the wake of this news. Equinox tried to save face with a statement that actually made everything worse (who is in charge over there?! Oh right, Trumpers), saying that Ross is merely a “passive investor” and that neither Equinox nor SoulCycle are involved with the fundraiser. But Ross is literally the founder of this entire huge company, and the chairman. He IS the company. The money may be fungible, but it’s still the money that makes him super immorally rich and it’s still these companies that make him so powerful. Even if it doesn’t actually do anything to cancel memberships, it sends a message, and that’s the least we can do.

Well, there’s a tiny bit more we can do, and it’s going to hurt. Equinox and SoulCycle are the face of this controversy, but Related Cos. also owns or has made huge investments in a bunch of other notable brands that I know some of you adore. Gird your loins, because here’s a small sampling:

PURE Yoga (I know)

&Pizza (ughh)

Blink Fitness (well no one actually cares about that one)

Milk Bar (I’m sorry!)

The entire Momofuku empire (I SAID I’M SORRY)

Hudson Yards (oof)

Also, Ross is co-hosting the event with his current wife (I mean she lives in the house and it’s at their house (well at one of them; I’m sure they have 50 and still don’t give a quarter to homeless people)). His current wife is jewelry designer Kara Ross, whose (hideous, actually, so no real skin off our backs) jewelry is sold online at various websites including therealreal.com and lyst.co.uk, and in stores at Bergdorf Goodmans. So, boycott them all.

Now, it’s true, and forking bleak, that if we had to boycott every immoral corporation, we’d never actually be able to buy or do anything ever again. But even so, I think it’s worth doing what you can to send a message. And these little protests can add up: #GrabYourWallet, the campaign that gathers Trump-supporting companies to boycott, has added Related Cos. brands to their list, and this is the movement that got Nordstrom and Macy’s to stop selling Ivanka’s (trash) clothing line as a direct result of the boycotts they led. So I believe it’s worth it to keep voting with our dollars even if our dollars don’t seem to make a huge difference. Like Eleanor said in season 3 episode 5 (my favorite episode, guys) “why not try? It’s better than not trying, right?”

The post Voting With Your Dollar: A Big Fork Off to Equinox & SoulCycle appeared first on Laughfrodisiac.

Today we are discussing three more businesses across vegan food and clothing/commerce I will not support: Papa John’s Pizza, Wayfair home goods, and Forever 21 cheap ass clothing. I’ve also got some thoughts on the hottest trend in capitalism: cashless businesses.

Papa John’s Pizza

I have been vegan for 11 years now, so those of you who are likewise not baby vegans can appreciate how difficult it was when we were just starting out all those years ago. Remember those vegan ‘cheeses’ that were probably made of cardboard? Remember making your own almond milk (out of necessity and not preference)? Remember getting a dry portabella mushroom on a bun with an enormous roasted red pepper whenever you deigned to go to a restaurant? Suffice it to say, being vegan nowadays, especially in big cities like London, is unbelievably easy and fun and exciting. What new incredible product will be released today? What restaurant will announce a fantastic new vegan option today? What new vegan soft-serve can I find? It never ends!

However exciting all these developments are, not all of them are good. I don’t mean tasting; I’m sure they all taste good. But something being ‘vegan’ isn’t enough to warrant our support. The company has to not be an asshole, at MINIMUM. I think that’s a pretty good rule! It’s hard to enforce consistently, but that’s what I’m here to help with and I hope you’ll help me too: figuring out which companies are decent and which are Papa John’s. Oh, today’s Vegan Food I Don’t Support and You Can Decide on Your Own I’m Not Telling You Not to Patronize Them I’m Just Telling You What I Do is Papa John’s and their newish vegan pizza options. Listen. I’m sure it’s delicious. Well no, it is Papa John; I’m sure it’s edible. And I remember how sad it was to not find good vegan pizza for like, years! I get it! Pizza is the best food on the planet and you shouldn’t have to stop eating it as a vegan!

But there’s no reason to have to choose Papa John. First of all, in London?? We have incredible vegan pizza options all over the city, including Purezza (man alive!), Picky Wops (what a name), even all the big chains like Voodoo Ray’s and Pizza Union and Basilico have vegan options. There are dozens of veg-friendly pizza joints all over the city I haven’t even been to yet! There’s a tiny shop that just opened around the corner from me that has vegan cheese! It’s EVERYWHERE. I have no reason to get Papa John’s when there’s all this actually good vegan pizza all over the place.

BUT, even if these other options didn’t exist, I still wouldn’t. Sure, that’s because I make my own really excellent pizza (Imah half eye-tal I gotta that spicy meataball in my bloodah), but also because this guy John? He ain’t my papa. He sucks.

John Schnatter, former CEO and founder of Papa John’s, is a long-time republican which sure used to just mean white businessman but now means an active racist, sexist, homophobe, anti-Semite, anti-everything good pretty much little fucker. Don’t believe me? He donated to the Cheeto Mussolini campaign. He spoke out against Obama and the Affordable Care Act, and famously stated that if he was forced to pay for the ACA and give his employees healthcare, his pizza prices would go up a certain number of measly cents. (To which the sensible world responded, “you mean you could be giving your employees g-d health insurance if you just charged 8c more???!!” and rightly boycotted.)

Then, he was loudly on the wrong side of history during the NFL protest controversy. And while he did resign as CEO after his use of the n-word on that matter came to light, this is still the business he founded, and a company is built on the ethos of its founder. I would guess that his viewpoints and beliefs are reflected at all levels of management within this company. No founder, or CEO, or racist, exists in a vaccum. Also, John still retains a stake in the company, obviously, since he founded it, and he is worth more than ¾ of a BILLION dollars. So, like, fuck that.

Wayfair Furniture

Moving is the worst, decorating a new home can be frustrating, and finding affordable but still stylish furniture is a nightmare. That’s why online home giant Wayfair has become such a successful brand. But fuck them. Wayfair may have sold that adorable side table and pineapple lamp to your friend from work, but you know who else they sold furniture to? The detention facilities at the U.S. Mexico border. Wayfair is in a partnership with the monsters running these concentration camps, and for that reason, I cannot support them.

As you may have heard, Wayfair employees recently walked out on the job to protest the company’s sales of furniture to the border detention camps. The employees involved first wrote a letter asking that the company refrain from such sales. The CEO rejected this request, naturally, because the kind of person who aids concentration camps is not the kind of person who cares about what some of his employees have to say. 

You might be thinking, well the migrant kids that the U.S. government doesn’t care if they kill have to sleep somewhere! And maybe, if the Wayfair corporate leadership had said that what’s happening is atrocious but their aim was to provide beds to make this horrible experience a little easier for the children, then that would be something else. Or maybe they could have sold the furniture and donated all the profits to charity! (LIKE SO OBVIOUS.) At least maybe some of them could be said to have good intentions. But do you know what statement the leadership team made? They said that they “believe in the importance of respecting diversity of thought within the organization and our customer base. No matter how strongly any one of us feels about an issue, it is important to keep in mind that not all employees or customers agree.” So they basically said, just because some of you easily replaceable employees don’t like that people are dying in concentration camps doesn’t mean we all do, so we have to respect the views of our fellow workers who LOVE the camps. I mean. And then of course they said as a retailer, their practice is to sell their goods to anyone operating within the laws of the USA. So you know, it doesn’t matter what’s right or wrong or just, it just matters that the people in charge of deciding what’s legal or not have determined that this particular atrocity, as with many they’ve created, is ‘legal’. Cool cool cool.

So obviously Wayfair is now on my list, as is anyone and everyone who supports the concentration camps. If you’re thinking ‘but maybe people shouldn’t immigrate illegally!!’ or ‘if they didn’t want their children taken from them and put in cages then they should have thought of that before’ or ‘but it’s a corporation that needs to make money and if they didn’t sell the beds someone else would have’ then please leave a comment with your contact info so I may persuade you to get psychiatric help and/or turn off Fox News. If you’re thinking, ‘darn, that sucks, but I can’t support them anymore either if they are supporting these ICE facilities’, then congratulations, you’re a decent person and you’ll be okay without their products. Also, as far as I know Ikea is still run by magical unicorn people who love us all.

Forever 21

I know, at this rate there will be no more fast-fashion brands who are destroying the earth with their cheap production methods and their overuse of resources left for us to shop at! Forever 21 was a last-minute entry to this post, as just a few days ago I learned about their sooooo-fun new trick of sending free Atkins diet bars inside online orders. At first, it appeared that only those who had ordered plus size clothes received the diet bars – which is so unbelievably evil and straight-up rude that it’s entirely believable for this bleak ass world right now. Fortunately (?), the bars were included in online orders across the board, not just in plus-size orders, so they weren’t being totally snide mean girls all like ‘you should rully try one of these barssss also thanks for giving us your moneyyyyy!’ I mean I’m sure they still were, but at least to everyone. (Do they just want all their customers to lose weight?)

But even if it wasn’t targeted harassment at plus-size customers (I feel it necessary to reiterate they were treating paying customers like this, for fork’s sake), it’s still absolute bullshirt to include diet bars that no one asked for inside otherwise unrelated and innocuous purchases. I’m sure they don’t care if a customer had an allergy to any of the ingredients. But I know for sure they don’t care if they are sending diet products to people with disordered eating histories or body insecurity – and given, um, statistics and facts, many of the women who received this ‘gift’ fall into those categories. Here, wear our clothes and also lose weight! What a great idea! It’s not just ill-considered and rude; it’s disrespectful. It assumes, as most of the world does, that weight loss is a universal goal, and an always-positive one. Obviously, the lads over at corporate didn’t think this through, or if they did, they really don’t care about women.

Also WHO is still partnering with forking Atkins? Is it 2003 again? Go fork yourself. Also your clothes are crap.

Cashless Businesses

A friend of mine recently said that he was on a mission to no longer support cashless businesses. Since London seems to be going all cashless lately and I am very aware of le crime, I was like but why? Isn’t it easier and safer and faster and just funner? (I didn’t say that.) Going cashless may help businesses thwart off potential robbers, I guess, but a) that’s not actually an enormous problem to begin with and b) the real result is turning away a significant portion of the community. Cashless businesses disenfranchise part of our population that is already incredibly vulnerable: homeless people, migrants, poor people in general who are unbanked. Not everyone has a bank account! Not everyone has access to a contactless card that makes you feel like you aren’t even spending any money because you just have to lightly tap it against the payment screen and then you’re done and it’s like whaaat was this all free? IT WASN’T. YOU’RE PRIVILEGED. As so many of our cities gentrify at alarming rates, these businesses are basically defining the clientele they want, and it doesn’t include everyone. And that’s bullshirt.

Now that I know it’s bullshirt, I’ve been doing my best to avoid patronizing businesses that don’t accept cash. It’s a tiny little action, and it probably doesn’t do anything, but aren’t most of these little protests just acts of solidarity anyway? With London being on the fast track to complete cashlessness, it’s been difficult. Just last week, Husbo and I had lunch in Canary Wharf, as we frequently do because of work, and when we went to pay, I noticed it was card only. SHIIIIIT, I said to Husbo. It’s cashless! I’m supposed to be boycotting these places! But then Husbo pointed out that we were literally in Canary Wharf – an entire little city built by banks, for banks. Of course this was a cashless place; the entire place – filled with endless underground malls – exists for bankers. Trying to support the unbanked sector of the community in Canary Wharf is literally nonsense.

But that kind of brings me to the point of all of this: you have to do what makes sense, for you and for the message you’re trying to send. This extends to veganism in general too: Sure we’d all love everyone to be vegan, but not everyone is able to, so let’s all do the best we can, and act within reason. That’s kind of the purpose of this series, after all.

If you missed the first in this series, you can find it at this link. I managed to ruin food, clothing, and musical theatre in one post!

The post Voting with Your Dollar: 3 More Co’s on My Naughty List, Plus Thoughts on Cashless Businesses appeared first on Laughfrodisiac.

The first one is a popular fashion brand, one of the most popular actually. It breaks my heart to see a constant stream of happy shoppers spending tons of money there at all times. And true I haven’t written about fashion in literally years but this seems like a good way to get back into that. The second is a restaurant chain that I actually loved, but when I learned about its behind-the-scenes drama, I had to stop. The third is a big bummer, because it’s an exciting new Broadway production that I won’t be buying a ticket to next season. I’m not telling anyone not to support these brands or events; I’m simply sharing why I don’t so you can make your own informed decisions. I know I have a lot of work to do myself regarding what companies, restaurants, &c I continue to support, so I wanted to share this in case others can learn from it.

ZARA

When I was studying abroad in 2005, I discovered Zara. I adored most of their pieces – it was like the affordability and availability of H&M and Gap but tailor-made for my style. I was obsessed. But then the following year, we saw that they were selling bags with swastikas on them. Seems like a really basic thing to know not to do, but there it was. The bags were pulled as soon as a customer complained about the offensive symbol, but considering how many steps there are from design to production to stocking and delivery in shops, it seems incredible that no one along the way noticed this aspect of the design until customers did. Indeed, the company’s apology stated that there were no swastikas in the approved design, and that they were just as surprised as we were when the Indian company who supplied the bags added this element. It would be a believable story if it were a one-off.

But then in 2014, they sold the infamous children’s shirt that resembled the striped uniforms that Holocaust victims were forced to wear: blue and white stripes with a yellow Jude star. This one wasn’t excused away by a supplier issue but by a difference in intention: In their apology, the company said that the star was intended to be a sheriff’s badge. And while it did indeed say ‘SHERIFF’ on the yellow badge, the combination with the blue and white stripes is at the very least ill-considered. Also, it reminds me of another controversial star image that was excused as being a sheriff’s badge as an attempt to excuse its blatant anti-Semitism.

Amid these problems with obviously anti-Semitic products, the fast fashion giant was investigated for horrific sweatshop conditions at a Sao Paolo factory. Then, there was the, let’s say underdeveloped “White is the New Black” tee shirt which was received rather poorly by people who are against racism, as you might expect. Since then, they’ve been sued by a former Jewish and gay employee for anti-Semitic and anti-gay treatment. And I’m sure you remember that Melania Trump’s famous “I Really Don’t Care Do U” jacket, which was received as pointedly referring to the tragedies at the border concentration camps but really could be about literally anything the White House is doing, was from Zara as well, to literally no one’s surprise.

The parent company, Inditex, also owns brands Pull&Bear, Massimo Dutti, Bershka, Stradivarius, Oysho, and Uterque. Considering all of these issues they’ve faced over the years plus the allegations against those in positions of power in this company, I do not support these brands.

BY CHLOE

Some of you vegans or vegan-friendly eaters are probably aghast at seeing this popular NYC-based chain here. “What!” you might be saying. “I love Chloe! She’s the best!” Yeah, Chloe is the best, and that’s why I don’t support ‘by CHLOE’ anymore. After working her ass off for years and years to develop her own hugely successful brand, Chloe worked her ass off to build ‘by CHLOE’, a hugely successful vegan restaurant that now has more than half a dozen locations. But Chloe herself was forced out a few years ago, and the issues surrounding her ouster are complicated, to say the least. 

There were rumors that her business partners – Samantha Wasser, enormous hospitality group ESquared, and Wasser’s father Jimmy Haber, who is the CEO of ESquared – wanted to start serving meat under the ‘by CHLOE’ name. They’ve denied that claim, but that part is the least of it. It seems at the very least understood that there were many differences of opinion in how the business should move forward, and considering that it would all come across as being under Chloe’s own name, she understandably had strong thoughts about these next steps. However, an arbitrator ruled against Chloe. I’d normally show respect for that decision, but given the David vs. Goliath set-up of this dispute, it’s clear there’s more to it. And there is: in a lawsuit Chloe filed last year, she states that the group ousted her after she rejected Haber’s sexual advances. I don’t know about you but I believe women, and there is nothing easier to believe than an all-powerful white male CEO taking advantage of a beautiful young woman he has power over, and then acting out when he doesn’t get what he wants.

To top that off, nothing riles me up more than people abusing intellectual property law. (Okay obviously apart from abusing women, children, animals, &c.) This year, ESquared sued Chloe over her new pop-up restaurant Supernatural, which she runs with celebrity chef Supernatural and which I visited last month in NYC. ESquared sued her for trademark infringement, stating that this pop-up – with a completely unrelated name – would be too confusing to fans of ‘by CHLOE’ and they would think it was related, simply because it’s Chloe doing something else. By their logic, or lack thereof, brand confusion would arise whenever anyone did more than one thing. This dick move seems too much like a petty attempt to stop Chloe from working in food in NYC at all and I will not stand by while jerks try to use my beloved trademark law to defend something so weak and so clearly not a violation.

ESquared Hospitality also owns several non-vegan restaurants which you can find listed here. 

WEST SIDE STORY ON BROADWAY

I know, with this one you’re like ‘what in the world’, but there’s a reason. Next season on Broadway, mega-producer and well-known bully Scott Rudin is mounting a new production of West Side Story with director Ivo Van Hove (whose past directorial works in London have always smelled of misogyny). The cast of this much-anticipated revival was just announced this week, and in the prime role of Bernardo is New York City Ballet dancer Amar Ramasar, which decent people who love theatre are justifiably angry about.

If you don’t follow NYC culture news, Amar’s name has been discussed a lot in the past year for his involvement in a disgusting, disturbing case of sexual harassment and all-around despicable behavior at the ballet. He and friends of his (all men who should be in jail with him for their actions: Chase Finlay, Zachary Catazaro, and Jared Longhitano) from the ballet (all either dancers or donors) shared private (sexual) pictures and videos of female ballerinas in group texts and joked about all the crimes they would commit to them and other ‘sluts’. One of the victims – a young ballerina whose reputation and thus career was harmed – brought a lawsuit, and Finlay resigned from the ballet while Ramasar and Catazaro were suspended and then fired. Allegations in the lawsuit state that this sort of behavior was condoned from the top, as the NYCB and the School of American Ballet were well aware of the extensiveness of this type of behavior and did nothing to stop it, at one time asking the men to simply keep such actions in NYC, where it’s ‘easier to control.’ Obviously, the NYCB is on my shit list as well.

However, Ramasar and Catazaro were just reinstated at the ballet: the American Guild of Musical Artists (AGMA) appealed their case to an independent arbitrator. So fuck the AGMA too. The arbitrator, whose identity I can’t find but I have a feeling it was someone with a penis, said their termination was inappropriate and suspension should have been enough. You know what else is inappropriate? Rape culture. While Catazaro declined to return at present because he is dancing with Bayerisches Staatsballett in Munich (another ballet company I won’t be seeing anytime soon/ever, hi Munich), Ramasar is back and now with two unbelievably coveted jobs in New York, two jobs that are both the kind that most people only dream about obtaining: a prime position at the NYCB and a starring role in a huge Broadway musical. COOL GUYS. Also Bernardo shouldn’t be 37 YEARS OLD.

You know what, fuck this revival anyway for not using Jerome Robbins’s classic choreography.

Okay those are my thoughts on this topic for this week. Considering my proclivity for complaint, this’ll probably be a regular series. What similar things have you just learned about that you want to share with the class?

The post Voting with Your Dollar in Every Domain: Fashion, Vegan Food, & Theatre appeared first on Laughfrodisiac.

i feel like this sums up 2017 too, the vibe you know? like wtf is happening up is down

The post Happy New Years! Reflections on 2017’s Less Important Happenings! appeared first on Laughfrodisiac.

The post The Best Wedding Ever, slash How to Plan a Vegan Wedding in Less Than Two Months appeared first on Laughfrodisiac.

The post P90X3 Review: Weeks 2 & 3  appeared first on Laughfrodisiac.