First Stop: Helsinki! A Stroll Around Town and A Lot of Sugarby Randi / June 17, 2017
Greetings from Cankt Peterbourg! I wish I could access the Russian keyboard on this little netbook but I can’t/don’t feel like it. We’re having a great time in St. Petersburg, which in English adds the ‘s’ after Peter but in the Russian there’s no ‘s’! Fun! With! Languages! Before this trip, my only exposure to this quite charming city was the song from “Anastasia” that starts: “St. Petersburg is gloomy! St. Petersburg is bleak! My underwear got frozen standing here all week!” But it’s better than that. Well that is a very low bar but St. Petersburg is very nice. Though it has been raining hard a lot which is gloomy, and yes it is cold but like, for the summer, not for the earth, and definitely not cold enough to freeze undies. The city is a very interesting mix of old and new school while still seeming totally European. We are surely easing in slowly to the onslaught of Soviet towns we will be seeing later, because right now it still feels like we’re in Europe.
Well, except for the Cyrillic everywhere! It is so strange and so cool to finally see what we have been preparing for with our Russian classes. We’re doing great, if not at communicating with people (omg SLOW DOWN (oh and maybe could you write it down I’m better at reading kthx)) then at least at reading signs (and menus! Most are in English too! We’re great at that!). They say for all languages you really learn when you are immersed, and I can see how true that would be for Russian, now that we actually are surrounded by it and its alphabet. We’re definitely getting stronger with reading Cyrillic quickly and I have high hopes that that will lead to comprehension. Maybe by the time we get to Siberia we will actually be able to handle the fact that no one will speak English! I dream big.
When we got off the train on Saturday at Finylandskiy Vauxhall (named after the country we had just left? That’s confusing!), we walked around the station to find the giant Lenin statue, commemorating the big speech he gave when he arrived in St. Petey’s in 1917 during the Revolution. We start our sightseeing immediately, even when we have 90-pound backpacks on (and I’m frontpacking too ughhh I have too much stuff but I don’t know what I can get rid of! I really did just bring the bare minimum but we’re going to every season!). We walked the half hour or so to our hostel, The Travellers’ Palace, and it was hot so that was pretty rough because like I said, 90 pounds. I will either break or be super strong by the end of this. The receptionist at the hostel is very friendly and helpful, and even though we can hear every footstep people take at all hours of the night and they sound like gorillas stomping around and even though someone stole my bananas and apples from the fridge (they were labelled!) (and I KNOW bananas in the fridge is weird but I was keeping everything together in the labelled bag (so f-ing ironic!)), we like the hostel fine. The shower is legit the strongest I can remember taking in my entire life, like it was intended for an elephant and I wish I could take it with me. The rooms here are named after famous Russian literary characters, like Onegin and Catherine. It was quite the good omen when we were put in Karenina, considering Anna K is my favorite book (once you pretend that that final section about Levin finding Jesus by talking to peasants (“Life is often so unpleasant / You would know this, as a peasant!”) doesn’t exist)! There’s a little light-up train on my bedside table and everything, haha so morbid. And across the hall is the room called Bolkonsky, like the prince’s family in War & Peace! So it’s like the universe wants me to keep singing “The Great Comet” at every moment of this trip!
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Nevsky Prospekt
Horse Wash!
Once we dropped our stuff, it was already late afternoon, so the best use of our time was to stroll the Nevsky Prospekt, the main boulevard running through the city that everyone spells with a K even in English so I’m rolling with it. It houses all the big stores, lots of restaurants, a good number of statues and monuments, and lots and lots of people. Walking along it is a great first thing to do in St. Petey’s because you can get a sense of the city’s layout and feel, while seeing both important historical markers and fun Russian chain stores (like the Russian version of Sephora whose Russian name is pronounced like Rive Gauche lol that and Sushi Wok, where the ‘sushi’ is in Cyrillic but the ‘wok’ is in our/Latin characters, crack me up every time. There are also horse statues along the various canals which we liked because it reminds us of our flat in London (those who have been over and have seen what we call the Horse Wash will know why!).
Singersss
On the Nevksy Prospekt is the famous Singers sewing machine factory, or the building that used to be that and now is a giant bookstore in the most beautiful building along the boulevard. Inside, they had a snack section that had vegan bars (similar to Lara Bars)! Marked and everything! Come on obviously I love books and bookstores but we can’t buy books on this trip (or anything) but we need snacks. We also saw this monument to Catherine the Great (with her laavaaahs).
you can call me kitty kat
So many canals all over the place, so they call StP the Venice of the North and it’s hard to get a handle on streets
The other hugely famous building along the Nevsky Prospekt is the giant department store Gostiny Dvor. Although we are so determined not to add anything to our packs right at the beginning of the summer, we have a necessity exception – and we needed umbrellas so we bought umbrellas there yesterday (after we got drenched in a downpour, naturally). Upstairs at the Gostiny Dvor, the long, curving walkways are nearly empty and provide great views of the Prospekt. What most people don’t find, however, is the INSANE CELEBRITY FIGURE AND ANIMAL SCULPTURE GARDEN around a far bend that no one goes to. OH MY GOD, look, it’s Hagrid and the Harry Potter kids STANDING BEHIND PUTIN! No big deal! Don’t mind the peasants with sickles! OR THE DINOSAUR! Why this isn’t the #1 thing to do in St. Petersburg I will never understand. As it is, it’s pretty much hidden and NO ONE was there or even nearby so I think I discovered some kind of magical walkway.
you’re a wizard vladdy
Ruby Sparks was a very good movie
As for serious things, the Kazan Cathedral is along the Prospekt, a Russian Orthodox church dedicated not to Elia or even Zoe but to Our Lady of Kazan, which I know is very helpful. It’s not a very nice looking Cathedral, kind of the most Soviet and drab-looking thing we’ve seen yet, but it could just be that it is severely outshone by the gorgeous cathedral across the way from it, The Church of Spilled Blood. I know, I know, it doesn’t exactly sound like the most beautiful spot in all St. Petersburg, but it is! It’s real name is the Church of the Savior on Spilled Blood which yes doesn’t really help my case. So it’s built around the spot where Alexander II was mortally wounded and inside there’s a little stone area and canopy marking the exact spot where he was hit by grenades and suffered the injuries that killed him a little later (he actually died in the Hermitage) you know what why don’t I just show you:
no use crying over spilled oooohhhh nm
come at me laser jesus
See it really is soo beautiful even though it’s so dire. But all churches are built around and commemorating dire circumstances. This church, which we went in yesterday, is one of the most incredible churches I’ve ever seen, definitely in my top five. I know I said in a recent Spain post that ugh churches, who can tell them apart after St Peter’s, but this was a great one. I was blown away by how beautiful it was inside and outside. Usually they’re whatever on the inside, full of paintings of oldies and crucifixen, but this one is decorated in 100% MOSAIC. Every painting and image you see is made up of tiny tiles (that is what mosaic means!). See that lady getting lasered from the heavens by a laser-happy Jesus? ALL TILES. How incredible is this?
what happens if the glue stops working rain of tiles |
This canopy covers the actual spot where Alexander II was hit by the grenade/s. They built the church around it. |
this is the most beautiful lavish door to jesus I’ve ever seen
THE HERMITAGE
erma gerd, the hermiterge
On Sunday, we woke up early (lol not) and went to The Hermitage, the endless museum inside the Winter Palace. We read about how crowded it is, especially in the summer, and how the lines for tickets can stretch to a kilometer long. Because of this, we were tempted to buy tickets online, but they cost $18 online and only 700 rubles in person so we decided to risk it. And it’s a good thing we did, because there was no line. We bought tickets at one of several kiosks in the courtyard and went right in. On a Sunday! In the summer! We were so pleased with ourselves and got a little too cocky about it because after about an hour and half the Chinese cruise ship groups arrived ahhhh! It was wall to wall and they really like to push so it got a little rough. But it was still great. The Hermitage has millions of pieces of art, so you really need a plan to make sure you see what you wanna see. The state rooms of the palace and the Russian art are the most important. The Italian and French art is great, of course, but we’ve seen that literally every weekend at museums in London. That sounds very ridiculous of me but when you live in a museumy city like London, it’s important to see stuff that’s different from what you see all the time and feel okay about skipping the same same stuff. So in the Hermitage, we focused on the palace parts, the preserved rooms and furniture and sculptures and stuff, over paintings that have nothing to do with Russian history. And the palace rooms, hoo boy are they amazing. We both love malachite and cobalt shiz and this palace was full of both. It was all so stunning. I especially loved this gazebo.
i wish luke and lorelai got married on this one
We were both obsessed with the library, which was so Belle. And I loved the Peacock Clock, which I didn’t know at first even was a clock. I mean the tiny mushroom thing at the bottom has a clock on it so it’s not like the whole amazing gold artwork is a clock, it’s literally just the smallest piece of it that is a clock, but still, pretty cool. I got in fights with Chinese men who were trying to push me aside when I was taking this picture.
The Hermitage is important to visit, I think, since it’s such a well-known tourist attraction, but it’s exhausting. It goes on forever, and the bathrooms are very poorly located. We had to backtrack through to the entrance to find one, when we were like in the middle of the top floor. So dumb. It shouldn’t be that hard! But I’m glad we went and saw the great pieces they had. It’s easy to spend hours and hours there, but don’t.
I expect grander thrones 
how beautiful is this fancy witch’s cauldron 
a clock that is also a giant piece of furntiure |
not sure what this was but i liked it it was like a big like thing 
this was called the boudoir but it was just a lot of velvety chairs so nice though |
Even though we were pretty beat after our day at the Hermiterge, we decided to walk to St. Isaac’s Cathedral next (in the pouring rain! no umbrellas yet!) and climb the 260 stairs to the top of the golden dome! For the view! So pretty! The golden dome you see in the picture is very striking in the skyline. The climb wasn’t that bad at all, and it was worth it for the stunning views. Note that the main Cathedral is one ticket and the entrance for the climb to the top of the dome is another separate ticket. It’s worth it though! Again I’m proved wrong because the insides of this church were beautiful too. Russia keeps proving me wrong about church insides! St. Isaac’s was full of malachite columns which were stunning.
the view from the top of Isaac’s
main altar at Isaac’s |
that’s Isaac! no i don’t know |
The cathedral tour of Russia is only just beginning! After we saw the Church of Spilled Blood, we went to the Peter and Paul Fortress, the original citadel of St. Petersburg built by Peter the Great in 1703. It’s a big complex full of various museums, but we skipped the many museums (so many museums!) and went straight to the Peter & Paul Cathedral, the gold spire in the city skyline. This Cathedral houses the tombs of Russian czars from Peter I to Alexander III, and there’s a little room off to the side with the Romanovs, including Anastasia, which I was excited to see and then realized how messed up that is. But speaking of, I still haven’t written about the new Broadway musical so maybe I will do that in honor of seeing her tomb! So morbid I’m sorry. It was a decent show, and a decent church. The fortress was best for its views of the Hermitage and other stately buildings from the other side of the river. Luckily today was the one sunny day in the middle of lots of rain so this view on our walk along the riverfront fortress was lovely.
the Romanovs tombs
After we saw all the things Monday, we took the subway (new subway!) down to the Grand Maket Rossiya, which is a private museum of a scale model of ALL OF RUSSIA. It is AWESOME. It shows everyday life in every part of Russia, from St. Petersburg (included the building we were in, weeeird) and all the monuments we’ve seen so far, to Moscow, to Siberia and the Urals and the Sochi Olympics and farmers everywhere and a movie studio with various funny backlots and people on the beach and lots of trains and lots of construction and just EVERYTHING you could imagine in life, they had it on the model. It was so cool, and so giant and detailed that it took an hour and a half just to walk around it once. One of the coolest parts was that the lights would go down every 13 minutes for 2 minutes, gradually to show the sun setting and then rising. Some of the ‘night’ sections there were thunderstorms which was kind of crazy. My favorite part, of course, was that Vinnie Poo (the Russian Winnie the Pooh who is NOTHING like the Winnie we know) was hidden in one of the forests. I also loved the “Bad Husband” section that showed a man in his underwear on the sidewalk as his wife threw all his clothes out the window. Like. What.
Is that Putin riding a bear?? 
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So yeah so far St Petersburg has been very nice! The weather is ploha, with super heavy rainstorms most days. Yay for anoraks! Drivers here are absolutely insane, like super speeding down the Nevksy and no cops ever stop it. Don’t rent a car here! Traffic is really bad too so we mostly walk everywhere. One thing I’ve noticed is how confusing but nice the pedestrian crossings are. Most have green walking man countdown clocks, and most give you a crossing time of well over 30 seconds, some even 90 seconds! BUT, the confusing part, the red man/don’t walk man gets a countdown too, and sometimes they switch red to green/ stop to go without finishing the clock. Like yesterday we were crossing and green man said we had 30 seconds left but then it changed to red man and cars started going. I don’t know about that! I am tired. We’ve done a lot and we still have some museums we haven’t discussed yet! Today we are thinking of going to Peterhof, like the Versailles of Russia, but again it is super storming and it’s really a good weather type thing. We will see! Last night we saw the World’s Longest Opera at the Mariinsky Theatre, which was, well, long. It wasn’t as long time-wise as the Mastersingers but it was longer soul-wise. It also might be as fun to write about as the Mastersingers was so stay tuned! A little more on St Pete’s to come (and food!), and then we’re off literally on a midnight train to Moscow. Byeeee!
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Urumqi, China: Qi Qi My Playmate…You’re Not So Much Fun To Play With
After our visit to Turpan, we took a super short train to Urumqi, which is the capital of the Xinjiang region. You know how state capitals are often not the best city in the state and usually not even in the top five? Like, Harrisburg you’d have to pay me to go back to. And Albany, I don’t know anyone not in government who would ever want to go to Albany. I don’t think anyone in government ever wants to go to Albany either but they have to. I still feel bad for my poor law school friends who were sent there to take the bar instead of the Javitts Center. Suuuucks. Anyway, same for Urumqi. It used to be a big deal on the Silk Road, as all these Xinjiang towns were because they had water and goods and people to help caravans and traders survive as they trekked through the desert. But now it’s just, city. And not a particularly fun one, just…city.
Urumqi is booming now with more than 3 million residents (tiny for China but big for rest of the world!) and apparently it is the biggest city in Central Asia (which I guess includes Xinjiang and the stans). Remember how in the Turpan post I said that Turpantiners consider their town to be farther from the oceans than any other place on earth? Well the Guinness Book of World Records, famed chroniclers of all things super important, give that honor to Urumqi. Let’s not quibble though, you both will always stay in my heart as the driest hottest hellholes in all of China. Okay they aren’t hellholes at all (they’re good cities Brent), they just have the same climate as hell.
After we got off the train, we did not walk out into the world as you usually do when you get off a train. We had to go through security again. To get out of the station. That’s how serious Xinjiang security is. At the exit were police and baggage x-rays and metal detectors for people to walk through and everyone diligently went through the ritual but we were pulled aside by guards seated at a table (you NEVER want to catch the attention of the seated guards!). They took our passports and wrote the info in a book, I’m guessing the Big Book of Foreigners, before letting us into their so magical city. Getting a little bit annoying. As I shared before, in China, there is no common building when people enter and exit and buy tickets all in harmony. All those activities are spread out over huge station complexes so that, if you want to pick up your tickets for your next train (as you should do when you arrive to be safe), you have to go through the rigmarole (I really don’t like that there’s not another a in there) of leaving the station, and then you have to walk around the whole damn thing and find the main entrance so you can then find the ticket office. And, guess what, to get to the ticket office, you have to go through x-rays and metal detectors and security again! I always wait outside with all the bags so Z can run in more easily. But guess what, Urumqi was not a ‘run in and hurry through security’ kind of ticket office situation. I waited in the sun for over an hour for him to return! In the picture above, you might be able to see a long line of people from the station door. That line stretched all the way back to be even with where I was standing, and that was just after the guards at that checkpoint checked you out and let you into the main line. The line to reach THOSE guards stretched down the block. The amount of time he had to wait in that line was almost longer than our train here. It was RIDICULOUS.
Fortunately, we had a nice refuge to go to next. To make up for the hole that was Turpan and our hostel, we upgraded to a room at the Urumqi Sheraton for this visit. Of course, that refuge was temporarily blocked by – you guessed it – more baggage x-rays, metal detectors, and security guards at the entrance. We couldn’t even tell when we entered if we were in the hotel because it was in a mall! So we looked up and saw cafes and stores lining the perimeter and no Sheraton Hotel signs and we were trying to ask the security guards if this was the hotel and they just yelled to put our bags on the conveyor belts which DID NOT FIT BECAUSE THEY ARE HUGE BACKPACKS AND THE BELT WAS MADE FOR EVERYDAY PURSES and they were NOT HAVING IT and finally they just let us through to the check-in on one side of the lobby and the hotel staff was nooooot good, not good at all, I must remember to complain about them. Anyway we finally got up to our room and then everything was okay. As long as we stay indoors, away from every other human, we will be fine.
obligatory hotel pics
Before this trip, I never really appreciated a Sheraton or similar mid-level hotel chain. They are clean and comfortable and have real toilets! This was the perfect thing to do at this time in our travels, because we really needed a few days without too much running around (any) and without too many things to see (we literally saw one). Instead, we ate snacks in the hotel bed (what a lovely bed I love bed) and watched horrible movies. This hotel didn’t have HBO like our other recent treat-yo-self China hotel stays have surprised us with – but it had Cinemax. Lolol you know how people used to joke and call it Skinemax? That’s not the right joke. There was nothing bawdy on, just PURE UTTER SHIT. We watched so many bad movies. There was one with Chloe Grace Moretz where somehow she keeps surviving all these alien attacks that wipe out 99% of the population and you watch and you think ‘well she’s gotta be special in some way right any minute now we will learn what makes her so different from everyone else and she will fight something and win back Earth’ but no her special skill is sleeping with a man who turns out to be part alien and HE is the one who helps save her she LITERALLY does nothing oh my god why is she the star in this disaster movie if she has NO Katnissy skills to speak of she literally just lucked out a few times then met a rando and slept with him and the man saves her and some other kids she does NOTHING and has no special abilities except not dying from bird flu or whatever. We watched this movie twice. We also watched Whiskey Tango Foxtrot twice, partly because Tina Fey is great even when she’s trying to be serious and dramatic and you’re like aw good for you hon trying new things and mostly because we have a big metal water bottle from the film that sits in our bathroom for no good reason so it’s like a part of the family. WTF was actually not bad. The third movie we watched was indeed awful. It was called Terrordactyl. I shit you not. Terrordactyl. It was like if Sharknado wasn’t funny, but was super depressing because you just feel so bad for these ‘actors’ who showed up to set and probably couldn’t make eye contact with each other because they were so ashamed of what their careers and dreams had become. We watched it only half a time.
In the mall attached to the hotel. WHAT THE CRAP IS KILLER LITTERING? IS IT THROWING PEOPLE OFF THE SKYWALK SO THEY DIE? IS THAT WHAT KILLER LITTERING MEANS?????
We lucked out with the hotel being attached to a mall because in our newfound lazy state, we didn’t have to go very far for food. Well, our first night, we did try to go very far for food. There’s one vegan place on HappyCow called Yuangqi Vegetarian, and we got on a public city bus to get there with everyone staring at us (we did not see any other tourists in this city, p.s.). It’s online info said it should be open and I was so excited to finally have a good meal after a few days without. I was so excited for their mock meats, as HC reviews claimed they had. Well I will never know because there was a handwritten looseleaf paper sign on the padlocked door that a nice passerby told us said they needed a rest today and had closed. FUUUUUCK YOUUUUU you need a rest?? I NEED FOOOOOOOOD. Dammit to hell. We could have tried back the next day but I was too angry with them.
Learning not to ever leave the hotel and its attached mall, we returned and scoped out the many restaurants on the upper floors, including a food court that was, as usual, too confusing with too unhelpful staff so we chose a Han restaurant with a picture menu. We got several vegetable dishes that were pretty good and I got mapo tofu but asked first if it was vegetarian because it always had pork, but this menu didn’t say pork. The waitress said yes and confirmed that it had no pork when we asked that separately. Of course it came with pork, and when we said (/had our phone say) ‘but you said it didn’t have pork!’ she motioned that it was just a little bit. I get that vegetarianism is super alien to most Chinese people considering their recent history and that being able to eat meat is a sign of being in an okay place finally, so it’s hard to complain about all these frequent mishaps. But like, this was a young girl and I asked her so many times. Blah. I hate wasting food so I hope someone ate it in the back. They brought me a porkless one and it was really good so at least it was sort of worth it.
This delicious spinachy dish was translated on the menu as “Casual”. That’s it.
After dinner, we checked out another floor that had tons of ice cream vendors (still none for me in three months ughhh), donut vendors, drinks of all sorts, and of course bubble tea. We were surrounded! I ordered one and asked for bubbles to be added, as I always have to do because usually only the milk teas come with bubbles automatically. I learned the right words finally and everything. Of course, it came without bubbles. I have HAD IT with these M***F***ing kids giving me M***F****ing bobaless teas! I wasn’t having it anymore and I said, hey remember I asked for boba? And the boy said ‘yes but it doesn’t come with it so you can’t have it.’ I MEAN. Luckily someone else overheard and was like wtf is going on just put the damn bubbles in, it will not lead to the downfall of your (*cough* Taiwan’s *cough*) culture if you put bubbles in milkless teas.
Anyway.
The hotel had a pretty decent gym, with tons of treadmills, weight machines, free weights, and kettlebells, the first I’ve seen of those in any place in China. There was also a separate spinning room attached which is hilarious because it didn’t seem like they had any classes, just all the bikes set up as they would be in a class. Unfortunately, the staff members ‘working’ in the gym were beyond horrendous. Two young guys were chasing each other around the gym floor trying to pour water from paper cups onto each other the entire time I was on the treadmill. I kept looking back at them and being like WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU but they were too oblivious to notice my withering glare. Finally one of them left so the other finally just sat the crap down, but then this huge guy came in, went into the office inside the gym, and put on THE WORST music I’ve ever heard – slow, painful, and exceedingly loud. I asked the seated staffer if they could turn it down considering I had to cover my ears to breathe normally through it, and he shrugged and pointed to the guy as if to say ‘it’s his music.’ Remember that this huge guy putting the music on was not an employee. Seriously I need Sheraton Corporate to care that this was happening. I went up to the huge guy, who was starting to lift, and pointed to the office and the speakers and asked for him to turn it down. And you know what he did? He laughed at me. So I went right up in his face and SCREAMED “TURN THIS SHIT MUSIC DOWN BEFORE I TURN IT OFF FOR YOU YOU GODDAMN ASSHOLE.” He turned the music off. And then he did bicep curls with a freaking machine (so dumb) while making the loudest grunts I’ve ever heard at a gym and I just laughed thinking of what all the reddit fitness commenters would say about this jackwagon.
The hotel had a pretty decent gym, with tons of treadmills, weight machines, free weights, and kettlebells, the first I’ve seen of those in any place in China. There was also a separate spinning room attached which is hilarious because it didn’t seem like they had any classes, just all the bikes set up as they would be in a class. Unfortunately, the staff members ‘working’ in the gym were beyond horrendous. Two young guys were chasing each other around the gym floor trying to pour water from paper cups onto each other the entire time I was on the treadmill. I kept looking back at them and being like WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU but they were too oblivious to notice my withering glare. Finally one of them left so the other finally just sat the crap down, but then this huge guy came in, went into the office inside the gym, and put on THE WORST music I’ve ever heard – slow, painful, and exceedingly loud. I asked the seated staffer if they could turn it down considering I had to cover my ears to breathe normally through it, and he shrugged and pointed to the guy as if to say ‘it’s his music.’ Remember that this huge guy putting the music on was not an employee. Seriously I need Sheraton Corporate to care that this was happening. I went up to the huge guy, who was starting to lift, and pointed to the office and the speakers and asked for him to turn it down. And you know what he did? He laughed at me. So I went right up in his face and SCREAMED “TURN THIS SHIT MUSIC DOWN BEFORE I TURN IT OFF FOR YOU YOU GODDAMN ASSHOLE.” He turned the music off. And then he did bicep curls with a freaking machine (so dumb) while making the loudest grunts I’ve ever heard at a gym and I just laughed thinking of what all the reddit fitness commenters would say about this jackwagon.
in the Xinjiang Museum. Doesn’t “the mortals from the last millenium” sound like a creepy sci-fi film?
We were going to go to the big bazaar, but we read that it was pretty fake and just for tourists and it all sounded very annoying and unnecessary considering that our next destination, Kashgar, has an authentic and still amazing bazaar. So we didn’t. The one thing we did in Urumqi was the thing you really have to do when there, which is visit the big museum, called the Xinjiang Regional Museum (or the Xinjiang Uyghur Autonomous Region Museum). Named for the whole region for a reason, it houses some of the most important archaeological and historical finds that weren’t shipped out of the country, including all those mummified corpses I mentioned in the Turpan post that they found there. They were REAL mummies, my goodness. It was a little sickening. The super dry climate in Turpan (slash all of Xinjiang) helped preserve so much detail – like, hair. And freaking eyelashes! There were 21 mummies, I think, in this museum, and they included men, women, and children – including an infant-sized mummy. It was very disturbing and upsetting to see. I think I am over dead bodies, okay?
The museum included exhibits on all the ethnic cultures living in the Xinjiang region, which happened to represent all of the places we had so far visited on this long journey – Russia and Siberia, Mongolia, Kyrgyzstan, Kazakhstan, Uzbekistan, and all the other stans. So my favorite parts of the museum were things that reminded me of our travels up to this point and pointed to our next destinations. like this look at Mongolian wrestlers that were NOT wearing the traditional wrestling uniform (speedo + feather boa) that we learned about in Naadam.
The museum included exhibits on all the ethnic cultures living in the Xinjiang region, which happened to represent all of the places we had so far visited on this long journey – Russia and Siberia, Mongolia, Kyrgyzstan, Kazakhstan, Uzbekistan, and all the other stans. So my favorite parts of the museum were things that reminded me of our travels up to this point and pointed to our next destinations. like this look at Mongolian wrestlers that were NOT wearing the traditional wrestling uniform (speedo + feather boa) that we learned about in Naadam.
I also loved seeing a view from inside a ger/yurt that had an animal right in the doorway! Just like we saw in Mongolia! It feels like that was years ago!
And of course I have to take a picture whenever there’s a dog.
But the best was this look at traditional goings-on inside a house…in which the museum staff decided it was super appropriate and traditional for the girl to be wearing a sweatshirt that says “MATHLETE”?? We were crying. Whoooo decided that? Do they know how weird it is? The others are wearing non-ridiculous garb. I still can’t get over this.
WHAT WHY
As usual, the other visitors to the museum provided some entertainment as well. I still am a little scared of this girl’s shirt:
It says “until the tears run into your mouth”. why so cry?
I can’t even put into words the immediate dread I felt when I saw this huge crowd of little kids on a school field trip. I gasped, saying to Z, “OMG ARE THEY ALL LITTLE TRUMP SUPPORTERS?” I see red hats, I fear the worst. I guess all these little Chinese kids aren’t probably Trumpers, right? Just an easy way for the teachers to keep tabs on them?
only a small section of the Baby Trumpers
After the museum, we walked around the city a little, and I found my new favorite bubble tea place, called FlyJuice. It was the best tea – not too sweet! – and it came automatically with boba AND weird white jelly! The best!
We did some more wandering, found a grocery store, and then went back to the hotel to scout more of the restaurant floors. I had a weird noodle bowl that ended up being with sauerkraut and not just plain cabbage that isn’t worth sharing a picture of. But I will share a picture of my dessert, courtesy of Happy Lemon drink stand.
Yeah, I know, I am a monster! I had two bubble teas in one day! It made me so nauseous that it actually – can you believe – put me off bubble tea FOR GOOD. Well probably not for good, but I haven’t had any since and looking back at these pictures is making me nauseous again. End of an era, I know. I guess that’s the secret to beating this type of obsession – have so much of it that you never want it again. I said to Z, “I’m like the girl in The Joy Luck Club who ate too much strawberry ice cream and then never ate it again.” Z said “what.”
So, I know we didn’t do much, but that’s our time in Urumqi. It was just a regular old city with a good museum but not much else to recommend it for tourists. It was good though because we needed a bit of a rest before the last section of our trip when we hop from place to place extremely quickly. I leave you with the sign on the door to the train platform (which some of you saw on instagram) as we left Urumqi for Kashgar (the next post).
AND TELL MY WIFE I LOVE HER
The Food of Bilbao: Set Menus & Bread Will Destroy You
Basque country is the land of pintxos, little bar food snacks which are kind of like tapas but are mostly on pieces of baguette with toothpicks sticking out of them. All the coolest places in Bilbao have bar tops covered in pintxos and rooms packed with people drinking and socializing and helping themselves to the various pieces of decorated bread. But you cannot be one of those people if you are vegan. No sir, you will miss out.
Okay, it’s not entirely true. If you can speak medium level Spanish and/or you did your HappyCow research more thoroughly than I did, you can probably find a place serving vegan pintxos. And hey, I tried. I really did. But unfortunate turns kept turning: bartenders and servers couldn’t understand my Spanish (or pretended not to understand, maybe trying to be more like the French?), or they didn’t know what I was talking about with my dietary restrictions (Sacre bleu! What do you mean no cheese!), or the places with supposedly vegan options were closed when I went while the sun was still sort of visible because ain’t nobody in Spain working while the sun is out! So, point is, I didn’t get pintxos.
That doesn’t mean you won’t. I’m sure you will have better luck and/or do better research and/or speak more coherent Spanish. But you know, I’m not even upset. I eat a lot of bread in my normal life so missing out on bread topped with this or that while pushing through people drinking alcohol isn’t that big a deal to me. The only thing is, if you aren’t eating pintxos in Bilbao, you are eating a set menu. Even for lunch! Even if you just wanted a light lunch somewhere, you will be greeted with a three course set menu. Sure you could probably order a la carte but who knows what that would bring you. Whereas, with a set menu in Bilbao, you know you are getting green salad (lettuce and onions, oh my!), grilled vegetables, and fruit. Now, I’m not knocking salad, veggies, and fruit. That’s pretty much my favorite stuff. It’s just that for the most part, their efforts to serve a vegan resulted in very uninspired food, and at various restaurants I was given nearly identical meals. Oh, and there will always be a basket of bread on the table, and you will eat too much of it because it’s bread on the table.
When we first set out in Bilbao, it was super late at night, like past normal bedtime, which means that all the restaurants were just starting to open. We struggled to pass through the streets overflowing with drunk yoots and went into several bars and restaurants trying to find a menu to decipher. But most of the places we entered were serving pintxos, not regular menus, and all of their little breads were topped with meat and cheese. After a few blocks of this, I started to get really anxious and nervous. And hungry. (There was a Subway, though, as there always is, so I found comfort knowing that if all else failed I would be able to get shredded lettuce and green peppers on their stanky bread.)
Finally, one bar serving pintxos said that they were serving their regular menu in the dining room, and that they could accommodate a vegetarian. (Advice: Always start by saying vegetarian. Most people don’t know the word vegan (even in English speaking countries, don’t assume that’s a household word) so figure out with the front of house staff if they can serve vegetarians and then make sure with your waitron that stuff doesn’t contain dairy and hipsters’ souls. That’s been the route to success for me.) This oasis of a restaurant, called Busterri, had a pretty fancy white tablecloth dining room that was empty when we entered but pretty full by the time we left (like after midnight, oh Europeans).
That doesn’t mean you won’t. I’m sure you will have better luck and/or do better research and/or speak more coherent Spanish. But you know, I’m not even upset. I eat a lot of bread in my normal life so missing out on bread topped with this or that while pushing through people drinking alcohol isn’t that big a deal to me. The only thing is, if you aren’t eating pintxos in Bilbao, you are eating a set menu. Even for lunch! Even if you just wanted a light lunch somewhere, you will be greeted with a three course set menu. Sure you could probably order a la carte but who knows what that would bring you. Whereas, with a set menu in Bilbao, you know you are getting green salad (lettuce and onions, oh my!), grilled vegetables, and fruit. Now, I’m not knocking salad, veggies, and fruit. That’s pretty much my favorite stuff. It’s just that for the most part, their efforts to serve a vegan resulted in very uninspired food, and at various restaurants I was given nearly identical meals. Oh, and there will always be a basket of bread on the table, and you will eat too much of it because it’s bread on the table.
When we first set out in Bilbao, it was super late at night, like past normal bedtime, which means that all the restaurants were just starting to open. We struggled to pass through the streets overflowing with drunk yoots and went into several bars and restaurants trying to find a menu to decipher. But most of the places we entered were serving pintxos, not regular menus, and all of their little breads were topped with meat and cheese. After a few blocks of this, I started to get really anxious and nervous. And hungry. (There was a Subway, though, as there always is, so I found comfort knowing that if all else failed I would be able to get shredded lettuce and green peppers on their stanky bread.)
Finally, one bar serving pintxos said that they were serving their regular menu in the dining room, and that they could accommodate a vegetarian. (Advice: Always start by saying vegetarian. Most people don’t know the word vegan (even in English speaking countries, don’t assume that’s a household word) so figure out with the front of house staff if they can serve vegetarians and then make sure with your waitron that stuff doesn’t contain dairy and hipsters’ souls. That’s been the route to success for me.) This oasis of a restaurant, called Busterri, had a pretty fancy white tablecloth dining room that was empty when we entered but pretty full by the time we left (like after midnight, oh Europeans).
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First of all, how hilarious is that image on the water bottle? Oh, that’s another thing we encountered here – lots of bringing you bottled water even if you ask for tap. Blergh. I hate paying for water but I guess it doesn’t hurt to sometimes give my body a break from all the fracking chemicals. Also, I tried a Basque specialty white wine called Txakoli. It was one of the only alcohols I’ve ever had that I didn’t despise. I don’t know whether it was the tiredness or the Spanish air or whether Busterri actually had the greatest house wine ever, but it was very nice.
The food isn’t very pretty, but hot damn it was yummy. This was my first of the ‘hot oily veggies’ meals, so I really enjoyed it. These sauteed mushrooms were possibly the most delicious mushrooms I’ve ever eaten! No joke! Even better than at the fancy pants Michelin restaurant this whole trip was based around (separate post on that wondrousness tomorrow).
The food isn’t very pretty, but hot damn it was yummy. This was my first of the ‘hot oily veggies’ meals, so I really enjoyed it. These sauteed mushrooms were possibly the most delicious mushrooms I’ve ever eaten! No joke! Even better than at the fancy pants Michelin restaurant this whole trip was based around (separate post on that wondrousness tomorrow).
Mushrooms swimming in oil from Busterri
Seriously delicious, these mushrooms. They were positively swimming in salty olive oil and were just perfect. I could have returned to Busterri and had these a few more times. My next course was similarly oily, similarly warm and comforting, but featuring some fry!
More hot oily veg mashups
Although nothing could top those hot oily mushrooms, the next plate of hot vegetables was still quite delicious. Along with more mushrooms, carrots, peas, green beans? potatoes? what’s in there?, came unbelievably perfect fried cauliflower AND fried artichokes. The fried artichokes definitely would convert anyone who ever said they didn’t like fried food, not that those people exist. They melted apart and were amazing. Nice mash of mush here I say!
The wait staff was really nice and helpful, and the food was good, if on the expensive side. Also, there was bread. Always bread.
The next day (a Saturday), we tried to hit up some HappyCow recs for lunch, but they were closed! Whaaat are these schedules?! We ended up at a cider hall (or sidreria) in the casco viejo (old town!) called Arriaga, which was full of big parties of Spanish families having their weekend meal together as well as an assumed stag do (bachelor party) full of superlatively wasted young men (of course seated at the table next to us). Being a sidreria, the set menu on offer was called a cider menu, meaning you got your meat, other meat, and cheese for dessert along with unlimited cider that you pour yourself from the enormous barrels in the walls. That was pretty cool. I didn’t take pictures but I had a decent green salad (lettuce and onion only, naturally) that was quite enormous (I think I was supposed to share with Husband but I love lettuce) and a grilled vegetable plate with really good asparagus, artichokes, leeks, and more. It was nothing out of the ordinary, but nothing to sneeze at. Also, when the risk of not finding any vegetables while traveling is so high, I’d take veggie overload any day. Oh and of course there was never-ending table bread.
The wait staff was really nice and helpful, and the food was good, if on the expensive side. Also, there was bread. Always bread.
The next day (a Saturday), we tried to hit up some HappyCow recs for lunch, but they were closed! Whaaat are these schedules?! We ended up at a cider hall (or sidreria) in the casco viejo (old town!) called Arriaga, which was full of big parties of Spanish families having their weekend meal together as well as an assumed stag do (bachelor party) full of superlatively wasted young men (of course seated at the table next to us). Being a sidreria, the set menu on offer was called a cider menu, meaning you got your meat, other meat, and cheese for dessert along with unlimited cider that you pour yourself from the enormous barrels in the walls. That was pretty cool. I didn’t take pictures but I had a decent green salad (lettuce and onion only, naturally) that was quite enormous (I think I was supposed to share with Husband but I love lettuce) and a grilled vegetable plate with really good asparagus, artichokes, leeks, and more. It was nothing out of the ordinary, but nothing to sneeze at. Also, when the risk of not finding any vegetables while traveling is so high, I’d take veggie overload any day. Oh and of course there was never-ending table bread.
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In the picture above right, you can see how one is supposed to get cider from the wall barrel. It’s pretty cool! The buckets are perfectly placed to catch what you can’t, but even so the staff had to regularly mop the floors because of all the spillage and drippage. It was really fun! I even tried it a few times just for the collection fun. Above left, you can see a picture of the restaurant exterior. Why am I including this? Well do you notice the graffiti at the bottom? Like…what?!?! Strong statement, sir!
So Arriaga was a pretty nice restaurant, but again it was crazy expensive for the set menu and convinced us that Bilbao is just on the pricey side. Oh the best part was what came with dessert (fruit for me):
So Arriaga was a pretty nice restaurant, but again it was crazy expensive for the set menu and convinced us that Bilbao is just on the pricey side. Oh the best part was what came with dessert (fruit for me):
A bowl of walnuts and a nutcracker!!!! Ahhh! My oh my, I had way too much fun with this. Have you ever actually cracked your own nuts? It is difficult! I failed a few times before getting the hang of it. It mostly took me 4 cracks to fully demolish one, but there were a few times I was able to open it right on the seam. So proud! But not as proud as when I full on pulled a “Pretty Woman” with the escargot and let a walnut slip right out of the cracker and across the restaurant. Ohhhmigod, sorry people. One also went under our neighboring table. It was amazing. Seriously, this was so entertaining.
One of the vegetarian-friendly places we couldn’t get into on Saturday we went back to on Sunday, and it was kind of disappointing. It’s probably my own fault for ordering the wrong thing, though. The super hip, super popular restaurant in the casco viejo called Kasko is a restaurant recommendation in several mainstream guides. We had to make a reservation because it’s always really busy. Everything I read said they were vegan friendly, but several staff members had to come talk to me to figure out what I was after. Finally someone came over and told me, in Spanish, what their 4-5 vegan options were and that I was to pick two. I didn’t really understand most of what was said or that the first two weren’t necessarily appetizers and the second two weren’t necessarily entrees and that I could pick any two, so I kind of failed. I did pick a fantastic first course, the stuffed peppers with corn, beans, lettuce, and pine nuts in a wonderful red sauce that felt like a true Italian gravy.
One of the vegetarian-friendly places we couldn’t get into on Saturday we went back to on Sunday, and it was kind of disappointing. It’s probably my own fault for ordering the wrong thing, though. The super hip, super popular restaurant in the casco viejo called Kasko is a restaurant recommendation in several mainstream guides. We had to make a reservation because it’s always really busy. Everything I read said they were vegan friendly, but several staff members had to come talk to me to figure out what I was after. Finally someone came over and told me, in Spanish, what their 4-5 vegan options were and that I was to pick two. I didn’t really understand most of what was said or that the first two weren’t necessarily appetizers and the second two weren’t necessarily entrees and that I could pick any two, so I kind of failed. I did pick a fantastic first course, the stuffed peppers with corn, beans, lettuce, and pine nuts in a wonderful red sauce that felt like a true Italian gravy.
But my second course was a shambles. The lady had said something like green salad, asparagus, or pasta for the other options and I stupidly thought well, I’ve had a lot of green salad, and I’ve had a lot of asparagus, so why not pasta. Why not pasta? Because this isn’t Italy or a vegan restaurant so you aren’t going to be happy because:
Right, because it was just pasta. In oil. With no salt. (I got some from the bar but yeesh.) It was first brought to me covered in parmesan, and when I told the waitress who knew I was vegan she looked horrified and brought me a different plate. But still, that made me question whether these were egg noodles. And still, I’m not a fan of just a bowl of tasteless noodle. I chose POORLY, MAN.
My dessert was pretty hilarious.
My dessert was pretty hilarious.
Yes, sirree, that is a hunk of pineapple, uncut. I can’t really complain because it was good pineapple. I just find it kind of funny. I also do find it kind of sad.
So, if you are heading to Bilbao and you aren’t going to be eating the many, many hunks of meat served all over the city (it’s pretty jarring and gross), be prepared for a lot of grilled oily veggies. Try to figure out what the heck kind of schedule the (supposedly existing) vegan pintxos places have. Prepare some Spanish in advance, but if you get tripped up, don’t get so nervous that you rush into bad decisions like I did. Just take a deep breath and remember, no, I will probably not be happy with a big bowl of noodle to go alongside my table bread. Relax and be grateful that there are so many vegetables, even if they aren’t served in super interesting ways. And, most importantly, if you can swing it, plan a meal at Asador Extebarri, the fancypants restaurant that will be the subject of tomorrow’s Very Important Post.
So, if you are heading to Bilbao and you aren’t going to be eating the many, many hunks of meat served all over the city (it’s pretty jarring and gross), be prepared for a lot of grilled oily veggies. Try to figure out what the heck kind of schedule the (supposedly existing) vegan pintxos places have. Prepare some Spanish in advance, but if you get tripped up, don’t get so nervous that you rush into bad decisions like I did. Just take a deep breath and remember, no, I will probably not be happy with a big bowl of noodle to go alongside my table bread. Relax and be grateful that there are so many vegetables, even if they aren’t served in super interesting ways. And, most importantly, if you can swing it, plan a meal at Asador Extebarri, the fancypants restaurant that will be the subject of tomorrow’s Very Important Post.
