St. Petersburg, Russia: So Much Better Than What "Anastasia" Taught Meby Randi / June 19, 2017
I knew St. Petersburg would be the easiest place of the summer for me to find vegan food, but I didn’t know it would be so good too! I made a HappyCow list a mile long before we left, but I barely scratched the surface of it because most regular restaurants had something I could eat. Being so close to western Europe means the vegan thing is starting to catch on, and there are a few restaurants that have gone all in with menus labelled with vegan options! For the most part though, you have to just figure out with your brain what dishes could be vegan, but there are lots of options. When all else fails, there’s Teremok, and there’s pickles, and there’s hleb (bread, the most important word to learn).
Right after leaving the hostel, we ran across the tiniest hole in the wall bakery with huge Georgian-style lavash breads in the window, the kind that’s a big floofy circle with two handles coming straight out the sides. I want bread handles! I went in and found an old babushka cooking her breads. That’s all it was, a tiny place with an old grandmama and her oven and her bread. The bread looked amazing and I asked for one. Well, first I tried to ask if it was just bread or if it was stuffed with cheese like that sort of thing sometimes is. Problem is, I didn’t know how to say “stuffed” and babushka didn’t know a lick of English. I knew how to say “with cheese” and “with milk”, so I said those phrases in question form, but she thought I was asking to get the bread with cheese on it, and she doesn’t do that, and so there was much confusion. I somehow got it across that ‘no cheese/milk is good’, then I THINK she said ‘just flour and water!’ or something to that effect, and we finally established that the magic looking fluffy as all get out bread was safe for me. Unfortunately, it being a tiny little hole in the wall, babushka couldn’t break the 1000 ruble bill we had – we had JUST gotten money and hadn’t been able to break anything and SHE wasn’t going to break it! Her breads cost 40 rubles! The change would wipe her out! So husband ran back to the hostel to make change (there was nothing in between, really) while I…tried to make conversation. It did not work but it was hilarious and fun. Another woman came out and I THINK she said she was from Georgia (the country), and after a few moments of me saying nonsense I realized she was asking where I was from, and like always I didn’t know whether to say USA or London so I said both. It was a lot of confusion on all fronts. Luckily, Husband got back soon and we bought THE BEST BREAD EVER. Of course I don’t have a picture of it or the babushka because I’m pretty sure it was all just a hallucination, but I will always remember this amazing bread and this ridiculously fun first encounter with Russian people.
pickles!
For dinner on that first night, we were around the popular (and well populated) Nevsky Prospekt, with all the side streets shooting off of it full of hopping restaurants. We looked at a few menus before choosing the very adorably titled Masha i Medved, or Masha and the Bear. They had a long menu, which yes means it is probably a tourist trap, but also means lots of options and higher chance of veg items. That’s the tradeoff, I think, with going to maybe more expensive touristy places – they usually have more vegetables. Of course we started with a pickle plate, and while I’ve never been a huge pickle fan, I am ready and willing to eat them all across Russia, especially because I couldn’t fit my bottle of probiotics in my overstuffed pack. The pickled mushrooms were kind of weird, but the pickled green beans were surprisingly yummy. Luckily the boys ate the hot peppers; I was in no mood.
Yummy eggplant and mushrooms (okay and red pepper) |
apparently I forgot to take a picture of my salad but you know what cucumber and tomato looks like! So here’s a pic of my glass of mors (cranberry ish juice) instead enjoy |
For my mains, I had lots of small veggie dishes to choose from. Most focused on potatoes and mushrooms, and I figure I’m going to be eating a lot of those two things (and not just because I know the words for them!) as we go more east in Russia. So I chose the cucumber, tomato, and red pepper salad, and the grilled eggplant & mushroom dish. Both contained red pepper, so it was a lot of red pepper, and you know I’m not the biggest fan of red pepper, but I need to not get scurvy so I did my best. Both were very basic, standard versions of their respective dishes, but that’s fine, especially when travelling. I just want vegetables. The stir-fry actually tasted really good. I liked it. Hooray for Masha. Hooray for the bear.
just realizing now that the box even says vegan and ‘no dairy’ oops forest for the trees
Back on the Nevsky Prospekt, we went into the Singers headquarters, which is now a huge bookstore, and I zeroed in on their snack section. And lo and behold, a box of bars! I spent decades reading the ingredients, or trying to, before realizing that they actually said the word ‘vegan’ on the front. Oh us vegans and our immediate flipping to the underside of the flap to get to the ingredients, never assuming that our work would be done for us! I bought three. They are amazing, some brand called ‘Take a Bite’, and I did, and I need to find more in Moscow because they are just like Larabars – raw mixes of nuts and dates and other dried fruit, and some with cocoa. Obsessed.
After dinner and before clubbing (just kidding) (well we did go to a bar really late) (so tired), we went into a cute little fruit shoppe to stock up for breakfast. I bought the most beautiful looking apples, a bunch of good looking bananas, and a box of cherries. I was obsessed with the bucket of cherries, and if I was allowed I would have jumped in. I love cherries, and I live on bananas, and giant apples, as big as you could find, are probably my favorite food in the world. So, even though I labelled everything and put them in the hostel fridge in a bag with my name on it, of course someone stole my bananas and my magical apple. Of course. They left the box of cherries. They were sort of sour. Like my view of humanity.
love this cherry bucket! I also adore cutting into whole watermelons but we saw a lot of watermelon in our Kazakhstan researching so, saving for that
DO YOU SEE THESE INCREDIBLE PEANUT BUTTER FLAVORS THE CHERRY BUCKET STORE HAD??!! I can’t even get over it. I wasn’t allowed to buy them. No fun purchases! (No room, really)
cute little space!
Before our visit to the Hermitage, we went to the first of my HappyCow finds because the top review said it was right across from it. It’s a small cafe called Kafe Troitsky Most, because it is on Troitsky Most, the bridge over the nearest canal. It really is the best place to go when you visit the Hermitage because I didn’t notice much else nearby. So there’s a hot menu on the wall, but there’s a display case of several great looking salads. I asked if I could do a mix of salads and set about picking the best looking ones that I could clearly see were just veggies. I pointed to one in the back that had strips of brown and I asked if it was meat and the super nice lady said “nyet, soya!” They were soy meat strips and everything in the case was vegetarian! Everything in the cafe! Yippee! That soy meat salad was SOO good. I really liked everything, actually. I would totally return if we were here longer. My kind of place, just simple salads that you get to mix together and throw a piece of bread on top.
For a nicer dinner one night, we went to Cafe Botanika, another all-vegetarian place that we walked by at least 1400 times because it was between our hostel and all the things. I was so excited to go to a real sit-down restaurant that was all vegetarian. The menu spans many pages and includes sections of various cuisines, like an Indian section, a Chinese section, an Italian section, which is kind of odd but hey if you can do it, do it. While the food was fine, it was much better for vegetarians that it was for vegans. There weren’t many mains that were vegan, and in fact there were zero vegan mains under the Russian food section! Which is kind of ludicrous! Even it’s famous house burger was not vegan. I could have had pasta or an Asian tofu and veg stirfry, which is like hey I also could have stayed home and cooked for myself. Luckily, they had Russian vegan food for starters, so I got a bowl (more like cup) of borscht for my main and an avocado-filled salad to start. We also shared crudite and hummus, because if you have hummus I’m going to eat it. It was all fine, but I’m just kind of mad that there wasn’t more available. I am really glad I had borscht though, as unremarkable as it was, because here traditional borscht has meat in it. Botanika was a perfectly nice place and if you are vegetarian it would be incredible for you, but for a vegan looking for Russian food or even just stuff that’s interesting, there’s better.
we’re gonna need more hummus
the borscht had 4 kidney beans in it |
i like salad though |
We had great luck with Cafe Ukrop, a small chain of veggie cafes all over the center of the city. We went to two of them! The menu has vegan stuff clearly labeled, and is the complete opposite of Botanika in that stuff you would assume wouldn’t be vegan (like the ravioli and the vegetable cream soup) was indeed vegan. Fun! The food wasn’t anything special, but it was decent and healthy, and the place had a nice vibe and adorable decor, so it was just all good. It’s a sweet place where you can sit for hours because the seating includes sofas, comfy chairs, and even a few porch swings! There are also signs advocating cleaning up the environment and eating organic food. At least I think that’s what it said. It could have been anything.
We tried a lot of dishes over our two meals at two different locations. My favorite was the Caesar salad, not because the dressing even remotely resembled Caesar dressing, but because it came with fried tofu croutons. There were only 4-5 of them in the whole salad though, so they really need to add more to it. I was surprised by the Olivier Salad, it’s like a traditional Russian salad of tiny chopped potatoes, peas, and carrots formed into a circle and covered in mayo, but the vegan version was 1000x better than that nonsense (I’m guessing, because mayo blechh).
We tried a lot of dishes over our two meals at two different locations. My favorite was the Caesar salad, not because the dressing even remotely resembled Caesar dressing, but because it came with fried tofu croutons. There were only 4-5 of them in the whole salad though, so they really need to add more to it. I was surprised by the Olivier Salad, it’s like a traditional Russian salad of tiny chopped potatoes, peas, and carrots formed into a circle and covered in mayo, but the vegan version was 1000x better than that nonsense (I’m guessing, because mayo blechh).
better than it looks |
same for this one |
As for other starters, we had a mushroom soup that was decent, but it came with a little pot of sour cream, and even though the soup was marked as vegan, I just wasn’t sure about the sour cream. Husband wasn’t sure either and he usually can tell what’s vegan or not, so I’m a bit nervous about the whole thing even though this was days ago. We also tried the avocado cucumber rolls, which sounds like boring sushi but was more like roll-ups, with an avocado cream mixed with herbs inside strips of cucumber. They were fine, a good refreshing raw food dish when we needed some fresh vegetables, though maybe needed more flavor/salt.
cucumber rolls from the heavens |
mushroom soup with the devious sour cream. or not. we don’t know |
For main courses, we tried three – the ‘famous’ burrito, the ravioli, and the lentil burger. I think the burrito (more like a wrap (they are different) was the best of the three and the one I would order again. They said it was their most popular dish. Filled with smoked tofu, lentils, and various veggies, it was smaller and thus with less filling that western wraps/burritos. but it was pretty good. And I don’t know if the wrap was gluten-free, but they did that thing I love about gluten-free wraps where heating it turns the breading into a cracker. I don’t know why I just like it. Probably because anything resembling a soggy wrap makes me nauseous so if you’re gonna veer in one direction go towards the crackery and not the soggy. The ravioli was fine, a pleasant surprise that it was vegan, but it was because it was filled mostly with just greens, not a tofu ricotta like I expected or any sort of interesting play on the greens. Just sauteed plain greens. The tomato sauce it came with wasn’t great but hey they were still ravioli so still fine. The burger I liked, but it could have used more pickles and tomato – I didn’t even know they were on it until I was halfway through, the pieces were so small. The patty tasted a little like frozen peas, which is a little disappointing. It really needed a strong sauce to go on it and it would have been amazing. Kind of true of everything here. It was all decent and nice tasting but nothing was like wow. Still, it was all very satisfying, especially when traveling.
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We also had great beverages from Ukrop – a very interesting grapefruit-basil juice, a beet-carrot-cucumber-apple kind of regular juice, and best of all a halva milkshake! It wasn’t really a milkshake, more of the UK-style of milkshake meaning flavored milk, but it was pretty great! It was just soy milk mixed with halva so you can’t go wrong. They threw in a handful of slivered almonds, some of which stayed on top for the picture while the rest floated down to the bottom, so we spent a lot a lot of time trying to chopstick them up.
juices yay |
halva milk yummm |
But honestly, probably my favorite place in St. Petersburg, and Husband’s too, is Teremok, a famous fast food chain. Russian fast-food, of course, so although it looks like McDonald’s, the already-made ready-to-be-tossed-down-the-counter dishes are blini and borscht and buckwheat porridges with all kinds of meat and cheese, etc. Blini, if you don’t know, are Russian pancakes but are more like crepes, usually stuffed with all manner of food, from savoury to sweet, meat to apple caramel sauce. When we went into our first of many, many Teremoks that we passed, I assumed it was a) just for a lark and b) not for me, considering blini have eggs and milk in them. Well luckily they gave us an English menu because otherwise I’d never have seen this remarkable menu section on a freaking fast food menu:
LENTEN VEGETARIAN MENU! GUYS, that is the dream! In most countries, the traditional food for Lent is vegan food. So that’s a great way to communicate what you’re looking for when you can’t speak the language. I was so excited and shocked to see this. Of course we went back to Teremok enough so I tried three of the four vegan options at least once, and happily they have more in Moscow. Even happilier, they just opened a branch in NYC! How ridiculous is that! That’s actually how we knew about them. Anyway, the buckwheat porridge is probably my favorite food so far. I love buckwheat, so there’s that, and it’s so simple with pickles and a few green onions and whatever, it’s plain and bland and healthy and that’s kind of what I love. Same with the vinagret (mixed chopped veg salad, usually with beet, in vinaigrette) and the pea soup. Plain, inoffensive, decent, healthy food. I’m obsessed. I can’t believe my fave place was pretty much Russian McDonald’s but if McDonald’s had such healthy and good vegan food I’d probably be there. Well just when traveling; I’m not a monster.
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I knowww it ended up being buckwheat (with pickles) that was my favorite dish, the title of this post is so misleading. Not gonna change it. Oh we also ate at a Georgian restaurant and I had this boiled spinach and walnut pate (with more of my favorite bread) that was really good and it was topped with pomegranate so I’m going to share the picture just randomly right now.
I also went to a falafel place called Pita’s and had a very nice cabbage and orange salad and a falafel wrap! There are a few Pita’s across the city. The wrap with hummus is vegan, but apparently the ‘original’ wrap is not! But who would ever order falafel without hummus?!
So St. Petersburg was super vegan friendly and I didn’t even go to all the places on HappyCow! I didn’t even go to like 5 of them! It’s a great city in so many ways, and you will eat pretty well. We will see what happens in the next city!
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From Kazakhstan to Uzbekistan: The Hardest Border Crossing Yet
After our perfectly lovely time in Almaty, Kazakhstan, it was time to cross into our final ‘stan, the one most believed of Herman Cain: Uzbekistan. There was no easy direct way to go from Almaty to our first destination in Uzbekistan – Tashkent – so we had to take an overnight train (but of course!) to Shymkent, Kazakhstan first, then get a taxi to the border, cross the border, and then get another taxi from the other side of the border to Tashkent. It was exhausting just to think about, but considering how relatively well our travels had gone so far, I was optimistic that it wouldn’t be too troublesome. I think I’ve previously shared on this blog that IQ quote about being an optimist and fool? Yeah.
To relish our final moments of Almaty’s modernity, we got an Uber to the train station instead of arguing with taxi drivers. We would have enough of that the next day, oh boy, would we have enough of that. When the car was due to arrive I shut down the little baby laptop and prepared to put it away and get my giant pack on…and true to chitty, chitty form, Windows decided to install updates then. DO NOT SHUT OFF YOUR COMPUTER. You think that maybe it was one of those quick ones since they didn’t ask first? Here’s the picture I took.
150 UPDATES. What in tarnation is that about! This is the kind of bullshit that can put me off Windows forever. I had to hold my computer open in the car, in the train station, as we waited for and then boarded the train. Can you even picture how ridiculous this crap made me look? I had a giant backpack on my back, my stuffed daypack slung on one arm, my ticket in one hand, my passport open in the other, my purse hanging cross-body, and the laptop nested in the crook of my elbow. If I thought people had stared at me before in these parts just for being a Western female traveler, hoo boy, was I in for some learnin’.
Fortunately, this train helped to balance out the fury that the computer caused me. Because of some of the less-than-stellar experiences endured on the Chinese overnight trains, we decided that our first night back on the rails after so many weeks merited an upgrade! We got a private berth instead of sharing with 2+ randos (not to be confused with randis which are usually good) and it was GREAT. And clean! The little compartment had one set of bunk beds against one wall and a little vanity table with a (clean!) mirror and small table on the other side. I thought there was a closet but the inside door was a connecting one to the next compartment, for families I guess. Our neighbors were none-too-pleased when they realized someone was trying to open the door but they had a crying baby so it’s a draw. This little room was so nice, as was the train in general. The bathrooms weren’t horrifying, AND – there was a water cooler! Guysssss! I could refill my bottles with potable water! My baby nephew says to me “drink agua!” every time he sees my water bottle and you know what Huddybear? I did!
We placed the still-updating computer on that little table and left it to finish. When we went to sleep, it was at number 9. Of 150. In the morning, when it was at 33, we just shut it down and used up ALL of our restraint to not smash it into a thousand pieces.
As we waved goodbye to the European-style cosmopolitan vibe of Almaty, we knew we were saying goodbye to civilization in general for a good while. Our time in Uzbekistan would comprise experiences on the more raw, less modern side of things, as our itinerary tracked ancient Silk Road stops and historically important towns and landmarks that are more or less untouched since the old days. Meaning, it would be like stepping back in time, especially considering how modern the city we were coming from was. Bye civilization!
But we didn’t realize at first just how drastic the contrast would be and how quickly it would materialize. When we got off the train in Shymkent, we needed to get a taxi to the border with Uzbekistan, and it was quite the ordeal. We asked several drivers for prices but all were oodles more than they should have been according to literally every piece of information – internet, books, hostel employees, previous travelers. We talked to a woman at an information desk by the side of the road (I don’t know if it was official; it looked like the Bluth banana stand without bananas, which I wanted even more than information) who told us in Russian to take this bus that was there and that would do the job. We were about to board but with a little more questioning, we figured out that that bus just would take us into the city center, where we would have to find the bus that would actually take us to the border, or get a taxi. The extra step seemed incredibly unnecessary and unwanted, especially if we would end up needing to negotiate with a taxi there anyway. We might as well just do that now, we thought. So back we went to argue with taxi drivers. Finally we found one who offered a not too bad price, so we agreed and unloaded our stuff and got in and…didn’t leave. The driver instead started filling the other seats with other people. We sighed but this was to be expected, right. Finally the car was full and the driver starting driving and took us to…the other side of the train station. What’s going on, we asked, not actually wanting the answer because we knew there was some bullshit about to come our way. The driver indeed spewed some bullshit, telling us to get into this other van that was there, already full of people. So this driver we had found wasn’t actually going to ever take us to the border. He was taking us to his friend with a van. He actually had the gall to agree to something he was never intending to do and then DRIVE US 15 SECONDS TO ANOTHER PART OF THE STATION.
Oh man this shit was just the beginning.
We said are you kidding me, no f-ing way, we are not getting into another stuffed mashrutka and paying the price we agreed on as if we were getting a private taxi. So we went back to the front of the station and started all over again negotiating with drivers in Russian the best we could. One driver promised he would just take us and not fill the car with others and we said great let’s do it. We left the station, drove for five minutes down the main road…AND THEN TURNED BACK TO GO TO THE STATION. What the HELL is going on, we asked? OH – he had to pick up another person. At the station. That we had left. You said it would just be us and ALSO WTF, we said. That’s it just this one more, the driver promised. JFC, fine, we said, come on let’s go. We again left the station, and then the driver stopped the car along the side of the main road where a crowd of people were standing. He wanted to pick up another person from this crowd! And not someone he knew about, he was just going to ask if anyone needed a ride. FFS. We yelled HELL NO! Just take us to the f-ing border right now! He reluctantly left and started driving the three of us to the border — at the fastest speed I’ve EVER witnessed any car go, race cars in Talladega Nights included. I was petrified. This guy was such an asshole AND he was a dangerous driver?? Oh my god. We sped down the roads passing every car and weaving through lanes and cutting off EVERYONE else on the road and just holding on as tight as we could, terrified.
When we were sufficiently in the middle of nowhere, nowhere near anything we could see or walk to besides highway and desert, the driver pulled into a gas station along the side of the highway. He said he needed gas, and didn’t have money to pay for it, so we had to pay for it. Are you KIDDING ME? I started screaming at him in English, I knew he could understand my hatred and disgust at him even if he didn’t know every amazing curse word I used. We are not paying for your gas, you crook! But then he popped the trunk and started pulling our bags out, threatening to strand us along this highway in the middle of nowhere if we didn’t pay up. As much as I despise giving in to people like this, we really had no choice, so I gave him a little money. But no, that wasn’t enough. Apparently gas is very expensive in Uzbekistan or something because he kept asking for more. I really didn’t want to give any more and set a dangerous precedent in case he kept stopping along the way and demanding more money, but luckily that didn’t happen. Just this one instance of extortion so I guess we were lucky. He got back in the car — I don’t even remember if he actually pumped any gas — and flewww down the highway for another hour while I sent him death ray stares from the back seat. He drove mostly in between the two lanes, stopping anyone who dared even think about passing him. I continue to wish him very ill thoughts, naming him like Arya except I don’t know his name but the universe knows who I mean. Get ‘em.
Finally, finally, he dropped us near the border. We walked up to the gate, took a deep breath to get over the horrible experience we just miraculously survived, and then another deep breath to prepare for one we expected to be equally terrifying. See, the Uzbek border brings with it a lot of rules, and a lot of horror stories. We never heard anything as strict and scary as the stories about Uzbek border guards. They can delay travelers for hours, going through every single nook and cranny of their luggage, opening every container, going through pockets, everything. Worst of all, Uzbekistan has a VERY STRICT and VERY SERIOUS no-drug policy, and their list of banned substances includes things that we can get over the counter in many Western countries. So we had to be careful about every substance we were bringing in, and make sure we had prescriptions ready to show. But the banned substance list is serious, and it’s not something you can get around with a prescription. If you try to bring any of them in, you could go to jail. One of the substances on the banned list? Ativan. I know. Because we did our homework (do your homework!), we knew about this trouble before we left for the summer, so I only packed about as much Ativan as I thought I’d need up until this day, so I wouldn’t have to throw much out. I still had a few extra I had to toss back in Kazakhstan, but nothing worth crying over. It’s just so funny and perfect that the one thing that would have helped me deal with the shitshow that was this country was the one thing I had that they outlaw. COOL GUYS.
When we got through Kazakh exit, we were given the forms. We knew we had to declare every kind of currency we had on us and in what amounts, so we had counted up all our shiz on the train. This is more annoying than it sounds when you have traveled to 10 countries! We had dollars, we had euros, we had pounds, we had soooo much Chinese yuan that converted to like just a few dollars but takes up so much space, we had Mongolian money, we had roubles (a significant amount since we would return to Russia after Uzbekistan), we had Kyrgyz money, Kazakh money. Man alive this really makes one appreciate the euro zone. We wrote everything down and then had to declare our valuables, including our phones, readers, and the baby laptop. We had read about other white travelers who had to unpack everything and who were detained for hours so we were super nervous. But, luckily, the border guards on duty for us were SO excited to meet Western tourists that they were pretty much just friendly and trying to ask us all sorts of questions, not about what we were carrying but about us and the west and whatever. We SO lucked out. I mean there were no toilets anywhere to be found but still, quite lucky. I guess I could have brought my Ativan in after all but better to be safe than to end up in an Uzbek prison in the driest desert with no toilets, right.
Oh but then we had to find another taxi to take us to Tashkent. Guyssss. I never want to take a taxi again. But there are no buses! There’s no other way! You just find a guy with a car and you hope that they are trustworthy. Ish. We found an old man with an old car and mistakenly thought ‘hey maybe this old guy will be more legit and somewhat decent than the younger asshat men are.’ We showed him the name of our guest house in Tashkent and he said ‘oh yes I know that place!’ We were relieved. The guy drove us through the nothingness and into the city, where he immediately stopped, got out, and started chatting with two young women. What is going on NOW, we wondered. Then the two women got in the car with us. I know. What’s going on, we asked?? One of the women spoke a little bit of English and she explained that the driver didn’t know where the hostel was, so they were going to help them. Let’s go over this again. The man who told us he was familiar with the hostel not only lied about that and didn’t know it, but DIDN’T EVEN KNOW THE ROAD IT WAS ON. And here’s the kicker – neither did the two women. They were just helping by using their phone maps –WHICH WE HAD TOO. And they showed us that they didn’t know how to read their phone maps, because WE were the ones who ended up instructing the driver on where to turn and how to f-ing drive. It was ludicrous and so frustrating and like, are there ANY taxi drivers in central Asia who aren’t complete assholes?
Finally, after we screamed NO, LEFT – NO YOUR OTHER LEFT about 40 times, we found our guest house, yelled at the driver to get out of our sight for ever and never come back here again, and entered the house eager to shower and relax. Naturally, the room wasn’t ready yet.
We’ll talk about that guest house and about the rest of Tashkent in the next post. Until then, I need to go take an ativan.
Hello Muddah, Hello Faddah, Here I am in Granada (Spain not Camp)
After a few days in Seville, Husband and I traveled to Granada, mostly to see the Alhambra. I have to admit, I had no idea about the Alhambra before this trip. How could I have known, when most of my life I thought Granada was a fake camp made up in the song I refer to in the title? (By the way, today I learned that that song won a Grammy.) (So has LeVar Burton which is my favorite random fact.) (Obama has two.) Obviously, I had no idea of the wonder that was in store for me. Not only is the Alhambra even more incredible than you can imagine, but Granada itself was probably my favorite city of our whole trip through Andalusia. Is it because it was the only one with a strong vegetarian restaurant that I really enjoyed? The world will never know. But that wouldn’t change the fact that I had a very enjoyable time.
Great start to any trip!
Getting to Granada from Seville was not too much trouble. I was shocked when I saw a standee advertisement for a vegan sandwich in the Seville train station! I would never have guessed. It was just a slab of tofu with tomato and basil and you know what, it was really good. MUCHO GUSTO! ME LLAMO ELLIOTT! So the train journey is about a 3 hours, but the train route at the halfway mark on the journey to Granada has been under construction for several years. We first had to take a train to Antequera and then a bus the rest of the way to Granada. I was super nervous about the bus because they only have bathrooms onboard in the USA, one of the best things the USA does, so I was so scared about what would happen if I had to pee! I was okay though. Dehydrated but okay. The train part was so nice! We had really good train snacks, including corn nuts (obsessed) and delicious oranges. OH I forgot to say in the Seville post, the famous Seville orange in the beautiful orange trees all over town? Those are not for eating. I took some super-ripe lookers off trees when I could reach them, and they were full of tears. Just so sour and awful and I made babies-eating-lemons face. They are not the oranges you get for eating. I think they are mostly sent to the UK for marmalade! weirdddd. Although I was not impressed by the wild oranges, I was impressed by the newer-looking Renfe trains. They were fast and clean and they even had digital screens announcing the next stop! Amtrak doesn’t do that! Amtrak is for lovers. Anyway, we got to Granada and walked to our hotel. The walk took us up this steep inclined path that was pedestrian-only and looked like it was transplanted from Agrabah, with so much incense burning and all these tapestries and curtains hanging everywhere and tables of sugar dates and figs and pistachios for sale. I of course did not take pictures of this because we were carrying our bags but now I kind of think I was hallucinating. Even if I was, it was my first look at Granada and it was magical. Full of tourists and smelling of disgusting incense (disgusting always), but magical.
I quickly learned that Granada is for realsies the Brighton of Spain. There are a lot of dogs, which is very nice (unless they are stray and then I cry), and there are a whole lot of hippies living off the grid and making art, it seemed. But there are also a lot of homeless people, and it was much more noticeable than in Seville and in London, too, where homelessness is an out of control epidemic, so it was really sad to see. Can governments please get their shit together and take care of homeless populations? Why did anyone vote Tory today you idiots?!
Before I get to the important sights to see, I have to complain about the weather. It shows just how amazing the Alhambra was, considering how much I liked Granada despite the fact that it was FREEZING morning and night. And afternoons. It would be 50 degrees (Fahrenheit) when we set out in the mornings and still so cold at noon. Then by the later afternoon like 4-5pm, it would be freaking 85-90 degrees. And then it would fall 40 degrees during the evening. I was screaming. You’re either shibber or sweating & burning all the time. The crazy weather was matched by the crazy people who like to walk in the middle of the sidewalk and then stop short like great tourists do and who smoke all day long. Seriously the whole country smells like stale cigarettes, no matter where you are. Sometimes it was so smoky and hard to breathe outside in the ‘fresh’ air that I would cry, just walking around in the open! That’s a horrible way to live, people! I do not understand smokers, especially when it’s like community-wide. Is it mandated? I will never complain about the City of London anymore now that I’ve been to southern Spain. Just kidding of course I will ugh I hate cigarettes.
Okay that is enough of my bellyaching. There are a few important sights in Granada, but one that surpasses them all. (I can’t say trumps anymore even though it is a regular word.) Like I said in the Seville post, we were here during Easter week, and it was equally if not more insane in Granada. Parades happened in the main and not so main streets ALL DAY and ALL NIGHT (which unfortunately we heard clearly, oh how they love to bang those drums). With all the Spanish people in the world being off from work and school because of Jesus, it was very crowded everywhere we went.
CATHEDRAL OF GRANADA
i mean you’re fine
You’d think that during Easter week, the church would really want people to, well, go to church and see statues and paintings of Jesus in his famous Easter pose (on the cross). However, some force in the universe really, really wanted us to stay out of the Granada Cathedral (maybe they thought I would burst into flames because of my previous sentence), because we spent an embarrassing amount of time walking around and around the main square, trying to find the main entrance. We thought we were smart people so this was ridiculous. We found the gift shop exit a few times in our wanderings, but no dice on the main entrance. WHAT THE HEY-ZEUS. It was mind-boggling! Finally after circling the main section of town over and over, the entrance was Brigadooned to us. After all that, there’s no way a church could prove itself worth the trouble, but this Cathedral was fine. They gave us audioguides with our tickets, which were sort of helpful. I look forward to the day when I see a Cathedral that afterwards I could pick out of a lineup.
But the best part of this cathedral was that the monstrous (not calling Jesus a monster) parade floats were waiting inside for their big outside reveals! Granada was SERIOUS about its Easter floats. It looked like they took really important statues of Jesus and Mary and put it on top of a boat they made from the wood of antique pianos. Very nice.
I would like to see how seaworthy this boat is
Raquel would be fine if you didn’t convince people that they would suffer after
One thing I don’t like about Granada and all of Spain (and Italy and other religious countries) are its seriously outdated, sexist, patronizing views on abortion. I was aghast when I saw this sign standing in the cathedral entrance. How dare they put this bullshit in the entrance especially when we had so much trouble finding it! At first I thought it was anti-abortion and saying “don’t get one”, but if I’m translating correctly, I think it’s about helping women recover after they get one. So not as bad, and sure it seems kind of nice, especially for the small percentage of women who do have trouble with their decision and the aftermath. But this perpetuates the religious right’s favorite message: that if you have an abortion you will suffer afterwards because, as it boldly states, abortion ruins both lives. This kind of language contributes to the horrible stigma of abortion when it should be treated like any other medical procedure, and women who need help after should be able to get it without needing to demonize the entire procedure as a surefire way to ruin your life. I saw the same sign at every cathedral in the rest of the cities we visited. GROAN. This is where Granada WISHES it were more like Brighton. Oh Catholics. Get your shit together. Your shit is a mess.
ALHAMBRA
From one of the fortresses at one side of the mountaintop
Now we’re talking! The Alhambra is a sprawling medieval complex, with numerous sections and buildings that once acted as fortresses, with high lookout points and lots of stairs to get up top for great views; as palaces and residences that get super cramped as people imagine what it was like to live there; as gardens, in my favorite part, the never-ending Generalife; and as an expanse of government buildings. The Alhambra is also a gorgeous display of Moorish architecture and civil planning as it was the last Moorish stronghold of Europe. Located at the top of a steep hill that offers beautiful views of the city, the Alhambra reminded me of the Acropolis in Athens in that regard and because we got super sunburnt when we visited both those places. But the Alhambra is bigger and has lots and lots of actual still-standing buildings you can visit. Also there are beautiful flowers and trees and great water features like fountains that make you feel a tiny bit less dry and like you’re baking in the sun. I love water features. The visit requires most of your day, and you need to buy tickets in advance. They recommend buying tickets weeks or even months in advance, and considering we were there for Easter week the months-ahead rec was really important. We had an afternoon-entry ticket, which was GREAT because that’s when it’s super hot, yay.
View of Granada from the Alhambra
The Alhambra was incredible. It’s like an entire city up at the top of a hill, with various buildings that were used for all kinds of purposes, from residences to government buildings, and gardens and plazas that you wish you could live near. Some of the residences were for the Nasrid Sultans, who ruled Granada from the 1200s to 1492 (what a busy year that was), as well as important government officials, important servants of the court, and important soldiers. Basically you had to be important to live up here. We were there for over four hours in the bright sun and heat – and we skipped two of the museums in the Plaza de Carlos V (one was more money, one was closed on Tuesday afternoons which is when we were there, which is random and feels personal). There is a lot of walking and most of it is uphill climbing, so bring lots of water. We went at a reasonable pace so it’ll really be a whole day for those who move more slowly or those who want to really see every nook and cranny of the expanse. If you can choose your time of entry, go for the morning. It was gross in the sun and heat. Although then you’d have to have a big breakfast and bring snacks if you would be delaying lunch that long. I guess just deal with the heat then. Luckily, they had a few vending machines in the lobbies of the impressively well-located and well-appointed bathroom buildings, and when I needed salt (water-drinking + sweating for hours = you need salt) I found a little bag of trail mix that had my new favorite thing in it, corn nuts. Happy me. (There are also several snack bars but nothing is vegan.) There are water fountains EVERYWHERE which made me soo happy to see and might have been my favorite part of the whole trip no that is crazy I liked other things too. There are also trenches of water running throughout the whole place back from how it was first designed for water flow. What a cool place.
Part of the fortress section
My favorite! Water! |
I wanna say this leads to the Palacios Nazaries, which is the only timed entry part. |
The Generalife was by far my favorite part, because I love gardens and I love water, and this was a whole shittonne of both. So many fountains and little paths and beautiful plants! It goes on and on and on, as you climb up to higher and higher levels that you would never have guessed were there. It’s so big it takes you around so you can see the rest of the Alhambra complex. Even though by this point (if you do it right, you should do the Generalife last) you’re likely exhausted, the gardens are so peaceful and soothing that you won’t want to rush through. The layout offers endless surprises, with hidden sections and staircases up to new gardens. Somehow, regardless of how crowded it is, you will likely see very few people nearby, because there are so many small segments that really works to spread out the crowd. It’s such a relaxing space, I wish I could go every day.
so tranquil
The Alhambra from the Generalife
The night before our day at the Alhambra, we got a tip from Husband’s friend about a great viewpoint in the city from which to see the Alhambra at sunset. This great viewpoint is the Mirador de San Nicholas, and I definitely recommend going at sunset. It’s quite the trek up winding little stone streets to get to the top of this hill, and can be very confusing even with functioning google maps. Just keep going up and you’ll get there. It’s a very popular lookout so it will be crowded, but it’s easy to get a few pictures. Remember it is cold at night, especially up high so dress accordingly. The Alhambra is beautiful as the sun sets. Sigh.
Isn’t it so cool? I can’t believe I didn’t know about this place for most of my life. I’m so glad I got to see it. It’s definitely a must-see in the world.
FOOD AND LODGING
It was really hard to find anything open before 3pm. Oh you Mediterranean lifestyle with your late nights and subsequent late mornings and your afternoon siestas and your lack of catering to my schedule! I bought oranges and bananas to have in the mornings along with bars I brought to tide me over until the regular Spanish lunchtime which is closer to my regular English dinner time.
But Granada was great because it was the most HappyCow-ed place of the trip. I had so many vegan-friendly restaurants on my list and was excited to get cracking. We went first to Al-Laurel, a little bistro-like restaurant that was supposed to be good. HappyCow said it opened at 11am, Google said 12pm, and its own front door said 12:30pm — but the guy prepping the bar inside at 12:30pm said they wouldn’t start serving food until 1:30pm. That is SUPER STUPID, GUY. Who opens an hour before they will have food? ANGER INSIDE. Off my to-do list and onto my shit list.
But Granada was great because it was the most HappyCow-ed place of the trip. I had so many vegan-friendly restaurants on my list and was excited to get cracking. We went first to Al-Laurel, a little bistro-like restaurant that was supposed to be good. HappyCow said it opened at 11am, Google said 12pm, and its own front door said 12:30pm — but the guy prepping the bar inside at 12:30pm said they wouldn’t start serving food until 1:30pm. That is SUPER STUPID, GUY. Who opens an hour before they will have food? ANGER INSIDE. Off my to-do list and onto my shit list.
We spent quite a bit of time looking for something else but everything was either still closed or had nothing close to being veganizable. Why don’t people eat before 2pm? Luckily, a standard touristy but nice-looking restaurant along a nearby big plaza was open and had a quinoa salad on the menu! It was called Laseda, and I think it was Plaza de Bib-Rambla. The quinoa salad was pretty good, and had something going for it most quinoa and veg and lettuce salads don’t but really should – it was served in a crispy cracker bowl. Lol I love eating my bowl after eating the contents. What a lifesaver.
Hicuri, so good
My favorite restaurant was Hicuri, a casual vegan place pretty well located (and near a vegan-friendly ice cream place we will talk about after) and with lots more seating than vegan places usually have. It’s such a fun menu, with salads and burgers and then salads with chicken nuggets in them and seitan and curries and eggplant bakes and Asian tofu dishes and fun smoothies and all kinds of stuff. It was such a sprawling menu that I have no idea how to describe the cuisine. I got a gigantic ensalada de la casa, which was all the basic salad veggies plus avocado, sprouts, and apple. Fun and random additions! I know you are mad I didn’t get the salad with chicken nuggets but it was dressed in mayo which is blech. They brought us little carrot sticks and ranch dressing while we waited which was adorable and actually the ranch was really good. I was never a ranch fan but I liked this so much that I kept it and put it on my salad.
Little bites at Hicuri |
Great salad at Hicuri |
For our mains, Husband and I each got a burger, the chicken burger for him and the legumes burger for me. I never ever order the burger when at restaurants, but something made me choose it and it’s a good thing I did because these burgers were fantastic. I am sure they are the best thing on the menu even though I didn’t have anything else. So good. We each got vegan cheese on it too and damn I want one now.
Burger at Hicuri
Of course we got dessert! They had a traditional (I guess) arroz con leche (rice pudding) that we shared and I got a hot chocolate with oat milk. The rice pudding was very good, cinnamon-y with the right about of sweetness. The hot chocolate, on the other hand, was like hot milk with cocoa powder mixed in, but with absolutely zero sweetener. It was so weird! Like they used regular cocoa powder and forgot to add sugar or agave or maybe thought they had grabbed hot cocoa mix but reeeeally didn’t? So strange! But whatever, I didn’t care that much. Everything else was good!
Arroz con leche at Hicuri |
Unsweet hot cocoa |
baby sized food plate not okay i not a baby
In hindsight, I kind of wish we ate at Hicuri every meal. But that would be ludicrous. But nothing else was as good. Our next veg restaurant experience, at El Piano, left much to be desired. All the food was displayed in a glass case and we looked and talked with the staff before sitting and ordering. They were very helpful when we arrived and took lots of time trying to explain to us what everything was, but it didn’t really coincide with their menu, which they gave us to order off of. After we sat, it was really hard to get their attention even though I think one other person was in there during our entire meal, and she was getting take away. I ordered a combo of mushroom soup and a spinach dish, and was given baby sized portions of both, to my surprise considering how much it cost. The food was just okay too, nothing special. Husband’s Mexican-style food was better and bigger, but not enough to excuse it. When our food came, we asked for bread. The staff member said it’s a gluten-free cracker bread because they don’t do gluten, which was fine for us, bring it on. We asked a few times for it in the next 20 minutes or so but it never came before we finished eating. Actually, fifteen minutes after I stopped pretending I wasn’t already done eating my little meal, we decided to just forget it and we asked for the bill. I was shocked to see the cracker bread was on the bill! She said it was coming, so we paid and waited a few more minutes and it still didn’t come so we just left. WHAT THE HECK was going on? It was crackers they were probably in a box! I immediately went next door to a little bakery and brought a small loaf of bread with a lot of gluten for 50 cents and ate it in the street and we liked it and we loved it.
So moral of the story is, don’t go to Al-Laurel or El Piano, definitely go to Hicuri at least once, and if you want a decent quinoa salad when nothing else is around, go to Laseda.
Luckily, there was ice cream. There is a ecological ice cream shoppe very close to Hicuri. It’s not great because in addition to being milk-free, it’s also fat-free so it’s a bit icy, and it has very stupid hours (it closes at like 7pm so no after-dinner ice cream). But hey even not great ice cream is still ice cream! It’s called de-leite and had a ton of flavors and also did horchata and granitas and tortes and raw cheesecake-type desserts, which I should have gotten.
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We also had plenty more tapas in the various old traditional tapas bars. I never want to have gazpacho or salmorejo again. At one of the many gelato shoppes we stopped in (I always want to know which ones have vegan flavors even if it’s fruit sorbet and of course I wouldn’t waste my time on that but I still want to know), they had a toppings bar with mini Chips Ahoy and mini Oreos so I took a picture for my dad because he loves the minis. I do too but they wouldn’t sell me an ice cream cup just of cookie toppings. Well really I didn’t know how to ask for it in Spanish and it was not worth miming.
We stayed in the Palacio de Santa Ines, which was in a superb location. Well, we did clearly hear the parade gongs in the middle of the night (Jesus never sleeps) but I think the entire city heard them beat out dat rhythm on a drum at all hours. As for the place itself, the lobby was nicer than the rooms (the bathroom smelled a little weird) but it was a clean decent bed AND we were given a random two-story room with a loft bed upstairs that had better wifi reception so we used the spare bed for internetting.
Overall Granada was nice because the Alhambra was just spectacular. It’s a must-see site in a fun, vibrant city and I’m so lucky I got to see it.
The one thing Granada got wrong. It’s Pacienca y FE!!
