Olkhon Island & Lake Baikal, Siberia: I Don't Think You're Ready For This Jelly (me)by Randi / July 10, 2017
We left Irkutsk after our time on Olkhon Island at about 9pm and got on a baby-sized sleeper train (we are such pros now!) – we literally got on about 9pm ish on Thursday, went to sleep (I mean pretended to), and disembarked at 6:30am. I didn’t even have time to write a diary entry! Just waited to take my contacts out (using bottled water of course; I like having the gift of sight too much to use train juice) before getting maybe an hour of sleep. Our roommates were two Chinese women (female roommates are so much better…and rarer) who didn’t speak any other language, so Z showed off with the two phrases he learned in Mandarin to prepare for this trip – “Do you speak English?” and “I speak a little Chinese.” It was so funny and they loved it. I didn’t love that the window in this cabin didn’t even open. Remember when I complained about old Russian lady closing the window? THIS ONE DIDN’T EVEN PHYSICALLY OPEN. ughhhh it was so gross and stuffy. Thank god it was short. At 6am, the attendants shouted for everyone to wake up – we were almost at Ulan-Ude, which is our last stop in Russia! Well, until we return from the southwest on our eastward Silk Road journey in September, but that’s years away and not part of our Trans-Siberian adventure! Trans-Mongolian, whatevs. So really, Ulan-Ude marked the end of this first part of our journey! Already! It’s going so fast. To mark this auspicious occasion, we surely would do something very special once we dropped our bags at the hotel.
And that was laundry. The most special thing we could possibly do! We found THE BEST, and I mean THE BEST, laundry babushka with the most perfect little laundromat WITH DRYERS. It was a few dollars and we gave her literally every piece of clothing we owned. It was all dirty. OH my god. And she handled it herself! We didn’t have to wait! She said when to come back (less than two hours!) and she was the best and it was so clean and so dry and smelled so good and I want to cry because we will never find a laundry babushka again. (In Mongolia now, had to do laundry last night. It’s still air-drying eye rolllll.)
kind of hard to find – it’s like hidden in a housing project – but worth itttt
Seriously, if you are ever in Ulan-Ude, this is the door you must find. Aside from seeing the giant Lenin head – which you can’t miss, it’s in the main square – this is my biggest recommendation. Finding the Laundry Babushka and just giving her a hug. And all your dirty clothes. The best thing we did maybe in all of Russia.
see you literally cannot miss the giant Lenin head no matter where you are in the city
Okay maybe you’re one of those weirdos who cares about other things to do in a Russian city in Siberia. Ulan-Ude, which I’ve seen both hyphenated and not and when given the choice to hyphenate something I’m gonna take it, is the capital city of the Republic of Buryatia in Russia. So Buryatia is a federal subject of Russia, like its own republic? but not? And in Siberia which is its own like region. It’s so confusing. Do I get to count Buryatia for the Century Club? Prob not. Buryatia has its own little president but the position is not called a president, it’s called a ‘head’ so I like to imagine that whenever he meets with Putin, Putin’s like “HEEEAD! MOOOOVE! NOWWW!” Putin to me sounds like Mike Myers’s Scottish accent. Buryatia’s main distinguishing feature is that the food is closer to Mongolian food, with lots of khuushuur (fried empanada looking things) (god they love their vowels in Mongolia) and buuzy (dumpings), both with meat. I already felt the increased difficulty of eating in Mongolia by being here. But of course we found plenty, don’t worry. Buryats were traditionally into shamanism, which is the deification of nature and spirits and magic and stuff and not, as I would have guessed, the deification of the composer of “Hairspray” and “Smash” songs.
random big gate says “Oscar” <3
After we landed at 6:30am, we walked to our hotel, the Buryatia Hotel, which was a little Soviet-era feeling but was very comfortable. They had water coolers on every floor AND a gym. (Granted the gym was pretty much just a treadmill I had to plug in and boot up myself, a squat rack with no barbell, AND A MASSAGE CHAIR, like full-on Sharper Image style, which is so ridiculous but ya know I think I can get behind that. Regardless, yay a gym!) Thank the Buryat shaman water sprite that our room was ready despite it being like 6 hours before check in. We showered (yesss post-train shower is the best) and then took the best nap ever, waking up at a normal human time to start our day. We found a quick bite, and then we tried navigating the completely ridiculous minibus situation so we could go to Ivolginsky Datsan, a Tibetan Buddhist monastery outside the city (about an hour’s journey).
The Datsan was built in 1945 with permission from Stalin to thank the Buryat people for help during WWII. It’s still active with lamas (not llamas) joining each year. It’s a beautiful space, and it actually made me feel quite calm being here. To visit, you walk around the complex clockwise, and you walk around each object or statue or temple clockwise, and you spin the wheels of veneration and stuff that’s all over the place as you walk clockwise. We started by entering the gate and turning right and we got yelled at. Counterclockwise bad for Buddha!
There are a good number of temples and statues and spinny wheels and stuff to see, but the main point of the visit is the Temple of Hambo Lama Itigilov. Okay so remember when we saw Lenin’s embalmed body in Moscow? More of that shiiiittttt! So in 1927, right before he died, Itigilov (who was the 12th Khambo Lama like I know what that means) was like, “hey, I’m gonna die soon – I know this because I’m a Buddhist – and I want to be buried in the position I die in, but just for 30 years, and then I want you to dig me back up…and then it’s your call what to do with me, I guess, because that’s as far as my decree goes.” So he died in lotus position (I mean, no he didn’t) and was buried, and then 30 years later monks dug him up and MIRACLE, his body was preserved! (Sure it was guys.) I guess they reburied him because they were like okay cool he still looks good for his age, but like I don’t want him in my house, but then in 2002 he was exhumed again, and MIRACLE! he was still looking fresh! (Sure!) So his corpse is a sacred object of Buddhism. Oh what does all this have to do with my visit to the Datsan? HIS CORPSE IS IN THE TEMPLE. JUST PLAIN SITTING IN THE MIDDLE. Obviously the body was embalmed with like all of Siberia’s embalming fluid, and not only that, but his head is made of papier-mache. I am curious about where the real head went?? Anyway, so we entered this temple behind a long line of fervent Buddhists bowing and scraping all over the place, and had no idea what we were about to see. No pics, of course.
The rest of the place was pretty nice. Getting there and back was a bit ridiculous, though. We caught a minibus from outside the cathedral square here, and it dropped us about 40 minutes outside the city. The driver just pointed to a corner to stand on and catch the next one that goes directly to the Datsan. It doesn’t have a number or anything; you just have to trust. Luckily it did go there, and everyone out in this land is going to the Datsan too, so it’s not that bad. But, as always, they are overstuffed and even in little vans it was standing room only. It’s definitely worth a trip out there though. It’s the best thing to see in Ulan-Ude.
|
fun |
So there’s this one area of the temple complex that was amazing. There was a line of people waiting their turn (first time I’ve seen queuing in weeks!) to walk a set distance from a mark to a big stone – with their eyes closed. Their friends are allowed to shout out directions, I guess, Price is Right style, but you’re supposed to try to walk to the stone with your eyes closed – letting the spirits guide you, I guess – and then you get to make a wish. Then you walk around the stone three times and then touch it again. I don’t know. Obviously we tried to! It’s scary walking on rocky paths with your eyes closed!
making wishes
The next day, we were planning to go on another trip outside the city limits to see the Open-Air Ethnographic Museum. Unfortunately, we didn’t have the time – the company that booked our train tickets had our departure train time wrong in our itinerary. We though we had till 8:45pm but we were leaving at 3:45pm! Definitely not enough time for an excursion! (Fortunately, we realized their mistake before too late, no thanks to Real Russia.) Instead, we stayed in the city and visited the Buryat History Museum. It was a pretty decent collection of Tibetan Buddhist items and shamanist objects. The history of Buryatia is also covered. I get bored easily in museums but this was ok. Bathrooms were awful though.
ahhh |
lil Budd |
wut
The last touristy thing we did was, of course, seeing the giant Lenin head in the main square. It’s the biggest Lenin head in the world. No kidding!
We had a few nice meals in Ulan-Ude. My favorite was a place called Marco Polo that wasn’t even on HappyCow but was super vegetarian friendly! They had vegetarian borscht (yay!) and a delicious carrot-beet-pine-nut salad. We also got a plate of stir-fried vegetables. I need to eat veggies when I can! I really loved this food. Simple but delicious.
|
|
We also had a nice meal at the very famous Modern Nomads, which seems to run most of this part of the world! (There’s a whole street in Ulaan Baatar with like, 7 of their restaurants). I had a great veggie dumpling plate and a big green salad. Perfect!
We also found a good supermarket called Sputnik that had some amazing vegan finds! I got this oat-based yogurt drink, a superfood oatmeal cup that will be perfect on the next train, and a bunch of crackers. And of course fruit!
grocery hauls keep happening but room in our bags keeps being nonexistent
So that’s what we did in our last stop in Russia! It was an okay city, nothing special. A good rest, a few good meals, some nice sights, and a great load of laundry. On to Mongolia!
Related Posts
Traveling Through Kyrgyzstan, Part 2: Ooh This is Me I’m Having Fun!
After too many nights in freezing cold yurt camps, we started the next section of our Kyrgyzstan country tour, which would take us a little more towards civilization and, even better, into guest houses! We packed so much activity into these extremely active days and got to see so much of the country, which we grew to love. Maybe it’s because I didn’t have to pee outside anymore, maybe because I finally got to wash my hair, but I started having a swell old time.
Day 3
“Put your mind to it go for it…get down and break a sweat!”
We woke up on Day 3 in our gross antsy yurt in the Kelemche Jailoo, after a night banging into the anchor swinging over my mattress pad. After a plate of kasha for breakfast (dudes I really love kasha!), I had to say goodbye to my little floofer ball o’ bear workshop, pictured above. This pupster was such a bad little baby but so flinging flanging adorable! It was hard to leave, but we had a long trek in front of us. 18 kilometers, actually, to our next sleeping destination of Kyzart village. For another day, we would follow Melis as he rode his horse and we walked like chumps behind him in the heat and up the endless hills. Still better than riding a horse though.
The first few kilometers were pretty decent, although it was super dry and my eyes started going really fast. Luckily we had a lovely little stop by Melis’s favorite spot, a grassy shady treelined area by a big creek (small river?). So nice. I was going to pee behind one of the trees but Z exclaimed “You can’t pee on Melis’s favorite spot!” True.
I enjoy activity and exercise but 18 kilometers across mountains added up to a lil too much but fast! There were some really steep hills in the second half that damn near knocked us out, with Melis of course amused, watching from the top of the hills from atop his noble steed. (She called me a steed!) Unfortunately, my left hip started throbbing, which is funny because my right hip is usually the one that gives me trouble. (Not funny ‘haha’, I guess.) But we had many more miles to go, trekking over rocks and hills and up and up and down those bullshitty gravel paths. So when we finally arrived in Kyzart Village, my hip was completely frozen. Nooooope.
the road that never ends
flat bit!
Finally we saw VILLAGE! and PEOPLE! you could say we saw Village People! And not just any, but little children who RAN up the road to meet us when we entered the village bounds. Melis went ahead to meet their little scampering feet and gave them big hugs. GUYS, they were his kids! He lives in the village with his family! It was the sweetest thing I’ve ever seen. They were so cute and so happy to see their dad. Almost as happy as I was to be done walking for the day.
Melis told his kids he’d see them at home (I mean I imagine) and finished leading us to our guest house in the village, where we would be staying for the night. Despite knowing that ‘guest house’ was on our itinerary for tonight, I had refused to get my hopes up that it would be anything more than a little shack in a camp where I’d still have to pee outside. Remember in that amazing (terrible) (no amazing) Meg Ryan-Tim Robbins movie “I.Q.” about Einstein (such great nonsense) when Walter Matthau (RIP <3) as Einstein said “I’d rather be an optimist and a fool than a pessimist and right”? I think about that quote at least every day (since 1994) because well I don’t wanna be a fool! Mama didn’t raise no fool. And I didn’t want to optimistically imagine that that night I wouldn’t have to walk outside an actual house to get to an outhouse and then arrive and be proved wrong like a fool like a FOOL. That would be not so fun. But luckily I was wrong because we were led into a nice little REGULAR house! With a bedroom with BEDS near A REGULAR BATHROOM! With a toilet and a sink and a shower! Dance dance dance!
We had a lovely lunch with the hosts at their dining room table, set up in the traditional plentiful manner we’ve grown to love (so much melon!), and relaxed in indoor glory. I ate so much watermelon. And then we realized that no one was going to get up from the table until we did, which was super awks, and we didn’t feel comfortable taking such responsibility in someone else’s house, so finally after a long time of sitting in silence playing with our forks, I finally asked if we were allowed to shower. Z said, “I think they would prefer it.” We smelt. So we got to shower! This was the longest I’d ever gone without washing my hair ewwww. But it’s clean now! After we got clean, we just laid around on our single beds (we had three in our room!). My hip was stupid frozen from walking on it when it hurt so I literally couldn’t get up from the bed all afternoon. I tried to find a reading position that didn’t make it throb but I failed. But at least I won’t freeze tonight!
Before dinner, we took a short walk around the village, finding a nice little mosque (above) and lotssss of children who chased us while screaming “HELLO! HELLO!” I know it sounds adorable but after three months of children AND adults shouting HELLO at you it gets beyond annoying.
Dinner was a nice veg stirfry mixture kind of thing and – you guessed it – a GIANT plate of cucumber and tomato salad. I had a lot of bread too because, like the watermelon in this region, the bread was RG too. Also we hiked like 30 kilometers in 27 hours and my hip was wrecked AF! I get to eat all the bread!
I had the best night’s sleep in a week.
Day 4
“Things are looking up…in DULOC!”
Day 4
“Things are looking up…in DULOC!”
After such good warm sleep, I had a plate of melon for breakfast – the fruits of my labors from the previous evening, when Sacha and the family asked me what I would want for breakfast and I said ‘just fruit please’ and they spent 10 minutes trying to convince me to have a plate of shredded potato instead and I was like please just fruit is fine I’ll grab an apple from the basket and they were like ‘but potato though’. I guess no one has just fruit for breakfast in these parts.
At about 9:30am we left for Kochkor village, for a quick stop to get water and whatever groceries we needed and then for the main morning event – a traditional carpet factory.
obsessed with the poster for the October Revolution in the background
See how pretty the woman’s creations are? Keep that in mind for when I reveal what we made.
So, a traditional Kyrgyz (or any, really) carpet factory meant that they use wool and felt. Despite knowing for several days that this traditional cultural art tour was on the agenda, I didn’t even think about the wool aspect before we arrived and they explained it all to us, which I guess was pretty stupid. But despite a decade of veganism, I guess I spent all my worry and attention on making sure the food would be taken care of rather than ensuring that the activities would be vegan. Getting out of horse-riding was enough, I assumed! Once I realized oh this is all wool, it was way too late to say anything. And I’m not sure I would have said anything anyway – this was our one hands-on cultural art exposure in the whole country, and my opposition to their use of wool would literally have accomplished nothing besides cutting our activities and limiting our learning about the culture.
whacking the wool with metal rods to…soften it?
Admittedly, I’m glad I didn’t have the foresight to cancel this activity, because it was actually really fun. Unlike other factory tours that get added to tourist itineraries as boring ways to try to force souvenir-buying, we actually learned a lot here, and the private instruction made us appreciate Kyrgyz art more than any other visit in the country did. The people were nice and accommodating and didn’t laugh at us too hard when they had us make our own little carpet out of scraps.
That’s right – they made us do art. The lady instructing us on how to make the main type of carpet showed us every step of the process and then made us create the design and then physically make the carpet. It was embarrassing! Neither of us are artistic, and when put on the spot we are almost anti-artistic. Also, it’s a very physical process that I imagine takes a lot of practice to get the hang of, so our first attempts at dancing and stomping on the rolled up bamboo holder to squeeze the water out was, well, not graceful.
First, you take metal rods and beat the tufts of felt so they are soft, I guess, as in the picture above. Then, you arrange your design on a bamboo frame, pictured below with the lady laying out the base brown square.
Then we added bits of colored felt on top of the brown square to make our gorgeous design, after which the lady rolled it up in the bamboo, tied the rolled up tube with rope, poured boiling water over the rolled up tube, and used the rope to squeeze it, DANCED on the tube, then made US dance on it and jump up and down on it for 10-15 minutes to get the water out, lather rinse repeat, and then unroll the tube and marvel at your beautiful art as you wash it with cold water and soap.
well this is embarrassing
Are you guys ready to see the art we created? Are you? Remember than everyone on my mom’s side of the family (EVERYONE) is like a professional artist. I did not inherit those genes.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. It’s BARELY our initials. (Ed. note: this is now framed and hanging in our living room.)
After we were hailed and celebrated as Kyrgyzstan’s most acclaimed artistes, they feted us with a lovely lunch in the yurt-for-show in the backyard. We had so much nice food and guess what the main event (for me) was? LENTIL SOUP! What a happy day!
eating yurts are better than sleeping yurts
After lunch, we packed up our gorgeous piece of wet wool and started the drive around Issyk-Kul lake, which we would eventually go completely around. We drove along the southern side, going counterclockwise (or anti-clockwise as they say in the UK, one of the things I fully approve of). Issyk-Kul lake is the largest lake in Kyrgs and second largest saltwater lake in the world (after the Caspian). The name means ‘warm lake’ because, despite being in the Tian Shan mountains which are all snow capped in these parts, it never freezes. Well aren’t you lucky! The drive for the few hours to the Fairytale Canyon was so beautiful! Yay water! I love water! And it was regular summer warm now! The view from the car was so fun – beautiful lake and beach and swimmers on the left, desert and mountains on the right. Kyrgyzstan had ALL the climates and environments all at the same time!
looking to the left
looking to the right
looking to the right a minute later
We hiked around Fairytale Canyon and saw how the gorgeous peaks and cliff faces really did look like something out of a fairy tale! From a magical elephant to a castle in the sky, everywhere we turned had a spellbinding view. We barely made a dent in this huge place. Despite all the wonderful sights, the clearest memory we took away with us of Fairytale Canyon was the white man standing outside the entrance wearing a Ben Carson for President t-shirt. We COULD NOT.
Anyway, here are some pretty pictures of the parts that didn’t make us lose even more faith in humanity.
NOT CHINA!
ALSO NOT CHINA
PARTING THE MOUNTAIN SEA
CASTLE ON A CLOUUUUUUUD
DORK
I’m in a fairy tale and not the shitty new season of Once Upon A Time kind!
After we explored this spectacular canyon, we drove back to the lake shore for a swim! Yayyyy it was time to swim! We changed into our suits in the car (this is MUCH HARDER to do than Jennifer Grey made it look in Dirty Dancing. I was cursing that movie for days afterward) and relaxed in the beautiful blue water. I know what you’re thinking – wait, this is all the same day? All these varied and fun activities in one day? I know! In one day we’re doing more than we did in a week on the Mongolia country tour. (Ok one day I will be done bashing that.) You know how much I love water – in drinking form, melon form, and looking at form, so it should be no surprise that swimming in form also makes me sublimely happy.
Issyk Kul was SO lovely
I FUCKING HATE THIS HAT
The water was cold but it was so fun to be swimming again. We had a great time, except for the CRAZY lady with her family nearby who splashed us and wouldn’t leave us alone. She was a lunatic and we tried to say please leave us alone and she just kept saying (in Russian) GO UNDER GO UNDER AHHAHAH I’M A LUNATIC! It was infuriating but luckily didn’t ruin our time.
Like I said before, Issyk-Kul is the second largest saline lake in the world. Sacha told us some facts about it, and said that “the lake is a little salty” because 260 rivers flow into it and none flow out of it. And then he said it’s also salty because of all the tourists. And we laughed and he kept going, saying “and tourists and no toilets!” and we laughed and then he said to himself (but I heard!) in his thick Russian accent “this is a joke” and I almost threw up trying not to throw up laughing at this without him knowing I heard.
seriously the view from the lake. we could see snow-capped mountains from our swim!
At our next guest house
After our swim, we drove the rest of the way to the village of Tamga, where we were staying in a LOVELY little guest house run by a LOVELY older couple. It was such a nice place. There were other tourists there but none staying on our floor of the one house (there were two houses) so it was like we were alone in a house! I had my own bathroom! Dance emoji dance emoji! The husband and wife running things used to be serious mountain climbers and so the dining area was decorated with absolutely incredible photos of their most impressive treks and climbs up the snowiest and tallets of peaks. The house had an exquisite garden that made us really jealous as we have not been able to keep a plant alive on our patio as of yet. Our room was the standard little basic with the single beds but it was clean and nice. All the vegetables and fruit came straight from the garden, and you could tell. I almost didn’t even care about having more cucumber and tomato and eggplant and tomato and peppers and tomato when they were that fresh. I cared a little. They also grew apricots and made delicious apricot jam. Best of all, they had wifi! It was super weak but enough that I could send a few texts to my fam and send a few angry tweets to Trump defenders. What a great day! Will day 5 continue the fun? Find out soon on the next episode of “how many times will she pee today, Johnny!” Byeees.
Hello Muddah, Hello Faddah, Here I am in Granada (Spain not Camp)
After a few days in Seville, Husband and I traveled to Granada, mostly to see the Alhambra. I have to admit, I had no idea about the Alhambra before this trip. How could I have known, when most of my life I thought Granada was a fake camp made up in the song I refer to in the title? (By the way, today I learned that that song won a Grammy.) (So has LeVar Burton which is my favorite random fact.) (Obama has two.) Obviously, I had no idea of the wonder that was in store for me. Not only is the Alhambra even more incredible than you can imagine, but Granada itself was probably my favorite city of our whole trip through Andalusia. Is it because it was the only one with a strong vegetarian restaurant that I really enjoyed? The world will never know. But that wouldn’t change the fact that I had a very enjoyable time.
Great start to any trip!
Getting to Granada from Seville was not too much trouble. I was shocked when I saw a standee advertisement for a vegan sandwich in the Seville train station! I would never have guessed. It was just a slab of tofu with tomato and basil and you know what, it was really good. MUCHO GUSTO! ME LLAMO ELLIOTT! So the train journey is about a 3 hours, but the train route at the halfway mark on the journey to Granada has been under construction for several years. We first had to take a train to Antequera and then a bus the rest of the way to Granada. I was super nervous about the bus because they only have bathrooms onboard in the USA, one of the best things the USA does, so I was so scared about what would happen if I had to pee! I was okay though. Dehydrated but okay. The train part was so nice! We had really good train snacks, including corn nuts (obsessed) and delicious oranges. OH I forgot to say in the Seville post, the famous Seville orange in the beautiful orange trees all over town? Those are not for eating. I took some super-ripe lookers off trees when I could reach them, and they were full of tears. Just so sour and awful and I made babies-eating-lemons face. They are not the oranges you get for eating. I think they are mostly sent to the UK for marmalade! weirdddd. Although I was not impressed by the wild oranges, I was impressed by the newer-looking Renfe trains. They were fast and clean and they even had digital screens announcing the next stop! Amtrak doesn’t do that! Amtrak is for lovers. Anyway, we got to Granada and walked to our hotel. The walk took us up this steep inclined path that was pedestrian-only and looked like it was transplanted from Agrabah, with so much incense burning and all these tapestries and curtains hanging everywhere and tables of sugar dates and figs and pistachios for sale. I of course did not take pictures of this because we were carrying our bags but now I kind of think I was hallucinating. Even if I was, it was my first look at Granada and it was magical. Full of tourists and smelling of disgusting incense (disgusting always), but magical.
I quickly learned that Granada is for realsies the Brighton of Spain. There are a lot of dogs, which is very nice (unless they are stray and then I cry), and there are a whole lot of hippies living off the grid and making art, it seemed. But there are also a lot of homeless people, and it was much more noticeable than in Seville and in London, too, where homelessness is an out of control epidemic, so it was really sad to see. Can governments please get their shit together and take care of homeless populations? Why did anyone vote Tory today you idiots?!
Before I get to the important sights to see, I have to complain about the weather. It shows just how amazing the Alhambra was, considering how much I liked Granada despite the fact that it was FREEZING morning and night. And afternoons. It would be 50 degrees (Fahrenheit) when we set out in the mornings and still so cold at noon. Then by the later afternoon like 4-5pm, it would be freaking 85-90 degrees. And then it would fall 40 degrees during the evening. I was screaming. You’re either shibber or sweating & burning all the time. The crazy weather was matched by the crazy people who like to walk in the middle of the sidewalk and then stop short like great tourists do and who smoke all day long. Seriously the whole country smells like stale cigarettes, no matter where you are. Sometimes it was so smoky and hard to breathe outside in the ‘fresh’ air that I would cry, just walking around in the open! That’s a horrible way to live, people! I do not understand smokers, especially when it’s like community-wide. Is it mandated? I will never complain about the City of London anymore now that I’ve been to southern Spain. Just kidding of course I will ugh I hate cigarettes.
Okay that is enough of my bellyaching. There are a few important sights in Granada, but one that surpasses them all. (I can’t say trumps anymore even though it is a regular word.) Like I said in the Seville post, we were here during Easter week, and it was equally if not more insane in Granada. Parades happened in the main and not so main streets ALL DAY and ALL NIGHT (which unfortunately we heard clearly, oh how they love to bang those drums). With all the Spanish people in the world being off from work and school because of Jesus, it was very crowded everywhere we went.
CATHEDRAL OF GRANADA
i mean you’re fine
You’d think that during Easter week, the church would really want people to, well, go to church and see statues and paintings of Jesus in his famous Easter pose (on the cross). However, some force in the universe really, really wanted us to stay out of the Granada Cathedral (maybe they thought I would burst into flames because of my previous sentence), because we spent an embarrassing amount of time walking around and around the main square, trying to find the main entrance. We thought we were smart people so this was ridiculous. We found the gift shop exit a few times in our wanderings, but no dice on the main entrance. WHAT THE HEY-ZEUS. It was mind-boggling! Finally after circling the main section of town over and over, the entrance was Brigadooned to us. After all that, there’s no way a church could prove itself worth the trouble, but this Cathedral was fine. They gave us audioguides with our tickets, which were sort of helpful. I look forward to the day when I see a Cathedral that afterwards I could pick out of a lineup.
But the best part of this cathedral was that the monstrous (not calling Jesus a monster) parade floats were waiting inside for their big outside reveals! Granada was SERIOUS about its Easter floats. It looked like they took really important statues of Jesus and Mary and put it on top of a boat they made from the wood of antique pianos. Very nice.
I would like to see how seaworthy this boat is
Raquel would be fine if you didn’t convince people that they would suffer after
One thing I don’t like about Granada and all of Spain (and Italy and other religious countries) are its seriously outdated, sexist, patronizing views on abortion. I was aghast when I saw this sign standing in the cathedral entrance. How dare they put this bullshit in the entrance especially when we had so much trouble finding it! At first I thought it was anti-abortion and saying “don’t get one”, but if I’m translating correctly, I think it’s about helping women recover after they get one. So not as bad, and sure it seems kind of nice, especially for the small percentage of women who do have trouble with their decision and the aftermath. But this perpetuates the religious right’s favorite message: that if you have an abortion you will suffer afterwards because, as it boldly states, abortion ruins both lives. This kind of language contributes to the horrible stigma of abortion when it should be treated like any other medical procedure, and women who need help after should be able to get it without needing to demonize the entire procedure as a surefire way to ruin your life. I saw the same sign at every cathedral in the rest of the cities we visited. GROAN. This is where Granada WISHES it were more like Brighton. Oh Catholics. Get your shit together. Your shit is a mess.
ALHAMBRA
From one of the fortresses at one side of the mountaintop
Now we’re talking! The Alhambra is a sprawling medieval complex, with numerous sections and buildings that once acted as fortresses, with high lookout points and lots of stairs to get up top for great views; as palaces and residences that get super cramped as people imagine what it was like to live there; as gardens, in my favorite part, the never-ending Generalife; and as an expanse of government buildings. The Alhambra is also a gorgeous display of Moorish architecture and civil planning as it was the last Moorish stronghold of Europe. Located at the top of a steep hill that offers beautiful views of the city, the Alhambra reminded me of the Acropolis in Athens in that regard and because we got super sunburnt when we visited both those places. But the Alhambra is bigger and has lots and lots of actual still-standing buildings you can visit. Also there are beautiful flowers and trees and great water features like fountains that make you feel a tiny bit less dry and like you’re baking in the sun. I love water features. The visit requires most of your day, and you need to buy tickets in advance. They recommend buying tickets weeks or even months in advance, and considering we were there for Easter week the months-ahead rec was really important. We had an afternoon-entry ticket, which was GREAT because that’s when it’s super hot, yay.
View of Granada from the Alhambra
The Alhambra was incredible. It’s like an entire city up at the top of a hill, with various buildings that were used for all kinds of purposes, from residences to government buildings, and gardens and plazas that you wish you could live near. Some of the residences were for the Nasrid Sultans, who ruled Granada from the 1200s to 1492 (what a busy year that was), as well as important government officials, important servants of the court, and important soldiers. Basically you had to be important to live up here. We were there for over four hours in the bright sun and heat – and we skipped two of the museums in the Plaza de Carlos V (one was more money, one was closed on Tuesday afternoons which is when we were there, which is random and feels personal). There is a lot of walking and most of it is uphill climbing, so bring lots of water. We went at a reasonable pace so it’ll really be a whole day for those who move more slowly or those who want to really see every nook and cranny of the expanse. If you can choose your time of entry, go for the morning. It was gross in the sun and heat. Although then you’d have to have a big breakfast and bring snacks if you would be delaying lunch that long. I guess just deal with the heat then. Luckily, they had a few vending machines in the lobbies of the impressively well-located and well-appointed bathroom buildings, and when I needed salt (water-drinking + sweating for hours = you need salt) I found a little bag of trail mix that had my new favorite thing in it, corn nuts. Happy me. (There are also several snack bars but nothing is vegan.) There are water fountains EVERYWHERE which made me soo happy to see and might have been my favorite part of the whole trip no that is crazy I liked other things too. There are also trenches of water running throughout the whole place back from how it was first designed for water flow. What a cool place.
Part of the fortress section
My favorite! Water! |
I wanna say this leads to the Palacios Nazaries, which is the only timed entry part. |
The Generalife was by far my favorite part, because I love gardens and I love water, and this was a whole shittonne of both. So many fountains and little paths and beautiful plants! It goes on and on and on, as you climb up to higher and higher levels that you would never have guessed were there. It’s so big it takes you around so you can see the rest of the Alhambra complex. Even though by this point (if you do it right, you should do the Generalife last) you’re likely exhausted, the gardens are so peaceful and soothing that you won’t want to rush through. The layout offers endless surprises, with hidden sections and staircases up to new gardens. Somehow, regardless of how crowded it is, you will likely see very few people nearby, because there are so many small segments that really works to spread out the crowd. It’s such a relaxing space, I wish I could go every day.
so tranquil
The Alhambra from the Generalife
The night before our day at the Alhambra, we got a tip from Husband’s friend about a great viewpoint in the city from which to see the Alhambra at sunset. This great viewpoint is the Mirador de San Nicholas, and I definitely recommend going at sunset. It’s quite the trek up winding little stone streets to get to the top of this hill, and can be very confusing even with functioning google maps. Just keep going up and you’ll get there. It’s a very popular lookout so it will be crowded, but it’s easy to get a few pictures. Remember it is cold at night, especially up high so dress accordingly. The Alhambra is beautiful as the sun sets. Sigh.
Isn’t it so cool? I can’t believe I didn’t know about this place for most of my life. I’m so glad I got to see it. It’s definitely a must-see in the world.
FOOD AND LODGING
It was really hard to find anything open before 3pm. Oh you Mediterranean lifestyle with your late nights and subsequent late mornings and your afternoon siestas and your lack of catering to my schedule! I bought oranges and bananas to have in the mornings along with bars I brought to tide me over until the regular Spanish lunchtime which is closer to my regular English dinner time.
But Granada was great because it was the most HappyCow-ed place of the trip. I had so many vegan-friendly restaurants on my list and was excited to get cracking. We went first to Al-Laurel, a little bistro-like restaurant that was supposed to be good. HappyCow said it opened at 11am, Google said 12pm, and its own front door said 12:30pm — but the guy prepping the bar inside at 12:30pm said they wouldn’t start serving food until 1:30pm. That is SUPER STUPID, GUY. Who opens an hour before they will have food? ANGER INSIDE. Off my to-do list and onto my shit list.
But Granada was great because it was the most HappyCow-ed place of the trip. I had so many vegan-friendly restaurants on my list and was excited to get cracking. We went first to Al-Laurel, a little bistro-like restaurant that was supposed to be good. HappyCow said it opened at 11am, Google said 12pm, and its own front door said 12:30pm — but the guy prepping the bar inside at 12:30pm said they wouldn’t start serving food until 1:30pm. That is SUPER STUPID, GUY. Who opens an hour before they will have food? ANGER INSIDE. Off my to-do list and onto my shit list.
We spent quite a bit of time looking for something else but everything was either still closed or had nothing close to being veganizable. Why don’t people eat before 2pm? Luckily, a standard touristy but nice-looking restaurant along a nearby big plaza was open and had a quinoa salad on the menu! It was called Laseda, and I think it was Plaza de Bib-Rambla. The quinoa salad was pretty good, and had something going for it most quinoa and veg and lettuce salads don’t but really should – it was served in a crispy cracker bowl. Lol I love eating my bowl after eating the contents. What a lifesaver.
Hicuri, so good
My favorite restaurant was Hicuri, a casual vegan place pretty well located (and near a vegan-friendly ice cream place we will talk about after) and with lots more seating than vegan places usually have. It’s such a fun menu, with salads and burgers and then salads with chicken nuggets in them and seitan and curries and eggplant bakes and Asian tofu dishes and fun smoothies and all kinds of stuff. It was such a sprawling menu that I have no idea how to describe the cuisine. I got a gigantic ensalada de la casa, which was all the basic salad veggies plus avocado, sprouts, and apple. Fun and random additions! I know you are mad I didn’t get the salad with chicken nuggets but it was dressed in mayo which is blech. They brought us little carrot sticks and ranch dressing while we waited which was adorable and actually the ranch was really good. I was never a ranch fan but I liked this so much that I kept it and put it on my salad.
Little bites at Hicuri |
Great salad at Hicuri |
For our mains, Husband and I each got a burger, the chicken burger for him and the legumes burger for me. I never ever order the burger when at restaurants, but something made me choose it and it’s a good thing I did because these burgers were fantastic. I am sure they are the best thing on the menu even though I didn’t have anything else. So good. We each got vegan cheese on it too and damn I want one now.
Burger at Hicuri
Of course we got dessert! They had a traditional (I guess) arroz con leche (rice pudding) that we shared and I got a hot chocolate with oat milk. The rice pudding was very good, cinnamon-y with the right about of sweetness. The hot chocolate, on the other hand, was like hot milk with cocoa powder mixed in, but with absolutely zero sweetener. It was so weird! Like they used regular cocoa powder and forgot to add sugar or agave or maybe thought they had grabbed hot cocoa mix but reeeeally didn’t? So strange! But whatever, I didn’t care that much. Everything else was good!
Arroz con leche at Hicuri |
Unsweet hot cocoa |
baby sized food plate not okay i not a baby
In hindsight, I kind of wish we ate at Hicuri every meal. But that would be ludicrous. But nothing else was as good. Our next veg restaurant experience, at El Piano, left much to be desired. All the food was displayed in a glass case and we looked and talked with the staff before sitting and ordering. They were very helpful when we arrived and took lots of time trying to explain to us what everything was, but it didn’t really coincide with their menu, which they gave us to order off of. After we sat, it was really hard to get their attention even though I think one other person was in there during our entire meal, and she was getting take away. I ordered a combo of mushroom soup and a spinach dish, and was given baby sized portions of both, to my surprise considering how much it cost. The food was just okay too, nothing special. Husband’s Mexican-style food was better and bigger, but not enough to excuse it. When our food came, we asked for bread. The staff member said it’s a gluten-free cracker bread because they don’t do gluten, which was fine for us, bring it on. We asked a few times for it in the next 20 minutes or so but it never came before we finished eating. Actually, fifteen minutes after I stopped pretending I wasn’t already done eating my little meal, we decided to just forget it and we asked for the bill. I was shocked to see the cracker bread was on the bill! She said it was coming, so we paid and waited a few more minutes and it still didn’t come so we just left. WHAT THE HECK was going on? It was crackers they were probably in a box! I immediately went next door to a little bakery and brought a small loaf of bread with a lot of gluten for 50 cents and ate it in the street and we liked it and we loved it.
So moral of the story is, don’t go to Al-Laurel or El Piano, definitely go to Hicuri at least once, and if you want a decent quinoa salad when nothing else is around, go to Laseda.
Luckily, there was ice cream. There is a ecological ice cream shoppe very close to Hicuri. It’s not great because in addition to being milk-free, it’s also fat-free so it’s a bit icy, and it has very stupid hours (it closes at like 7pm so no after-dinner ice cream). But hey even not great ice cream is still ice cream! It’s called de-leite and had a ton of flavors and also did horchata and granitas and tortes and raw cheesecake-type desserts, which I should have gotten.
|
|
We also had plenty more tapas in the various old traditional tapas bars. I never want to have gazpacho or salmorejo again. At one of the many gelato shoppes we stopped in (I always want to know which ones have vegan flavors even if it’s fruit sorbet and of course I wouldn’t waste my time on that but I still want to know), they had a toppings bar with mini Chips Ahoy and mini Oreos so I took a picture for my dad because he loves the minis. I do too but they wouldn’t sell me an ice cream cup just of cookie toppings. Well really I didn’t know how to ask for it in Spanish and it was not worth miming.
We stayed in the Palacio de Santa Ines, which was in a superb location. Well, we did clearly hear the parade gongs in the middle of the night (Jesus never sleeps) but I think the entire city heard them beat out dat rhythm on a drum at all hours. As for the place itself, the lobby was nicer than the rooms (the bathroom smelled a little weird) but it was a clean decent bed AND we were given a random two-story room with a loft bed upstairs that had better wifi reception so we used the spare bed for internetting.
Overall Granada was nice because the Alhambra was just spectacular. It’s a must-see site in a fun, vibrant city and I’m so lucky I got to see it.
The one thing Granada got wrong. It’s Pacienca y FE!!
