"Oslo" on the West End: The Emperor's New Clothes But For Theatreby Randi / November 16, 2017
During my latest trip home to Philadelphia, PA (how far are theyyyy), I had just enough time to try two of the city’s newest and best lunch-time offerings. Rich Landau’s most informal restaurant yet, Wiz Kid, specializes in a few stellar sandwiches in the grand old greasy Philly cheesesteak tradition, but veganized (and so much better). Goldie highlights the street food of another big city, Tel Aviv, with an Israeli-style falafel shop selling, well, just a falafel sandwich or salad, fries (with optional shwarma flavoring!), and the greatest single and singular item in the city right now, which we’ll talk about. At the end, I’ll share my pretty accurate recipe for that magical item so let’s get to it.
WIZ KID
On my first journey downtown in a good six months, my first stop was Wiz Kid, the hottest little diner-looking joint from the genius of Rich Landau and Kate Jacoby (of Vedge and V Street fame). I dragged my mom and my aunt into the cute little space adjoining V Street (the bathroom for Wiz Kid patrons is actually V Street’s) at 11:30 am so we could set up camp before the lunch crowd came in. I also needed the reinforcements so we could confidently order the entire menu, or most of it. It’s a small menu but even so, I can’t do that all myself. We ordered all three sandwiches, one of the two salads (I always need a salad), and the coolest sounding fries.
The WK Philly is the #1 thing you have to get in Philly right now (savory edition) – the vegan (and improved) take on the classic Philly cheesesteak with wiz (or is that just ‘wit’? I never ordered one). It’s a shredded seitan and mushroom steak mix, with fried onions and Rich’s famous (for dern good reason) rutabaga cheese wiz. And that roll! Ugh every bit of it was perfection, like gum. I don’t think anyone with an open mind would eat that and ever want a real cheesesteak ever again. Just spectacular.
Sabich on the left, WK on the right
The Sabich Steak is the above but Israelized (getting in the mood for our next stop, below!) – the WK plus grilled eggplant, whipped tahini, Israeli salad, and harissa tofu. Mmm it was so fun, especially if you like to stuff your sandwiches full of as much stuff as possible like I do. It was so messy but this kind of food is supposed to be! It’s fun like that! The harissa tofu added a bit of spiciness and the salad added some very complementary (not complimentary it didn’t tell me I was pretty) (see we learn things here) freshness. And tahini is always a good addition (more on that later). Yum! The Sabich and the WK Philly both were kind of oily on the bread but without being greasy. It was like a masterwork of the perfect amount of oiliness for this kind of food.
Lastly, the KFT was another glorious sandwich on this wee menu. I LOVE tempeh, and I eat it just baked with no doctoring at all a lot which is objectively gross but I still love it, so I’m a bit biased about tempeh. I realize that not everyone loves it, and I think that despite the amazing flavors in this sandwich, it’s still a big ole hunk of tempeh in the center, so if you aren’t already a lover, you probs won’t love this sandwich. However, if like me you love a big ole hunk of tempeh in your life, then this Korean fried tempeh sandwich with tomato, radish kimchee (I know), and sriracha thousand island dressing (I knowww) will be your new fave. I loved that it switched up the bread and instead of the harder cheesesteak roll of the other two, this was served on a softer burger roll. That dressing oh man, it was so good.
Korean fried tempeh plus a side of long-hots
As usual, I had to order a salad even though my dining companions weren’t interested because that’s how I always do. I chose the more interesting sounding King Cobb Salad, with garbanzos (what are you fancy chickpeas?), hearts of palm, pickled cauliflower olive salad, harissa tofu (you again!), and lemon sumac dressing. The dressing was a little tart (I mean obviously it was lemon based) and I think I would have preferred something not as tart so I didn’t make acidy sourface the whole time. But it was a great mix of salad ingredients, which I always love to have. My own salads at home are usually just lettuce (cue husband saying “that’s not a salad!”) so I love fun interesting ones out in the wild. I think, however, that you aren’t as Wiz Kid for the salads. Stick to HipCityVeg for salads in a burger-joint environment that actually rival the burgers. At Wiz Kid you are here for the sandwiches. Like Joey!
Lastly, we tried the super interesting okonomiyaki fries, mostly because I want to go to Japan. These are the standard WK hand-cut fries but with Korean bbq sauce, nori (seaweed!), and kewpie, which I never knew was a food and not weird type of doll (it’s a mayo!). They were fun but I would love to try the Wiz Fries next which I assume are cheese fries. Actually I didn’t even have them but I’m gonna go ahead and recommend them. I just want to buy a tub of the rutabaga cheese. Dammit Landau!
Overall, this place is amazing. These sandwiches, the steak, the CHEESE, lordy lord there’s a reason Rich Landau is considered a magician sent from another realm to make eating vegan easier and more delicious than mere humans ever thought possible. The only draw, really, was that the young lady working was kindaaaa a b word to me and my peeps. We were the only people there when we arrived and I’m stupid nice to strangers so like what the heck lady? I thought maybe I was just too PINK and SMILEY but my trusted Philly food guru friend said she was mean to her too. Why so mean to us lady??!! You’re surrounded by such lovely food!
GOLDIE
First of all, let’s all give me a hand for finally learning that it’s Goldie, standing alone, and not the possessive Goldie’s as I’ve been saying for months. Goldie has an even babier menu than Wiz Kid, but it’s exactly how it needs to be for a little falafel joint. You can choose the falafel in a pita (recommended), the falafel in a salad (what I had because see above about me and salads), fries, and/or a shake. THAT’S IT BRO. They are making just a few things and making them perfectly – as you’d expect from Michael Solomonov, the Israeli chef and restaurateur (ps just learned this minute that it’s not ‘restauranteur’ mind blown) behind Philly’s frequent #1 restaurant, Zahav. In fact, Goldie is considered ‘baby Zahav’ and not just by fans of Solomonov – Zahav means ‘gold’ in Hebrew, so Goldie is indeed officially ‘baby Zahav’. CUUUUUTE!
I should have gotten the falafel in the pita, but you can take my proclivity to order salads to Vegas. The salad was too acidic, awash in lemon and vinegar and hard to finish because my stomach lining was wearing away. It needed hummus or tahini to cut the paint thinner finish of it. The falafel itself was good, but honestly I think there’s a falafel ceiling, as my husband once suggested and it might be the smartest thing he’s ever said (and he says smart things). Like, falafel exists on a very small spectrum of quality. It’s never bad, it’s usually good, and even the very best falafel are all kind of the same. There’s no way to make falafel that’s insanely better than your average falafel. There’s a ceiling. So even though it was really good here, it can only be so good in the world of falafel. It’s all about how it’s served, so go for the pita, for which you can choose an extra side sauce, either mango curry, harissa, or schug. SCHUG AAAAAAVERY! who’s shug avery? SCHUG AAAAAVERY! SHUG AVERY NOT A CHILD RAISIN’ WOMAN! YOU KNOW THAT! sorry can’t help it and yes I did sing this bit from The Color Purple when I saw the menu.
Goldie got INCREDIBLY crowded at about 11:45am so prepare to take away instead of waiting for a table. It’s a tiny little cute place but guess what, they do have a bathroom! And a nice one at that! Loving these new Philly lunch spots. Philly is the best.
HELLO LOVER
But the thing you go to Goldie for is not the falafel, even with the schug avery. It’s for their milkshake, now considered the best in the city I mean WORLD. It’s a tahini milkshake. I know you’re like what hmm I’d prefer chocolate. But no. You’re wrong. It’s the best thing in the WORLD. It tastes like creamy liquid halva. Oh my god I wanted to cry. I’ll cry now. It’s amazing. They have several flavors, including coconut rose, which my friend got and I tried and yep it is also cry-worthy. I would keep crying and crying over my nonspilt milkshake but there’s no reason to now because I RECREATED IT!! I don’t know how I did it but I did it! Okay that’s not true I’m literally about to tell you how I did it, I don’t know why I said that. My god it’s so good.
MAKE YOUR OWN TAHINI MILKSHAKE
It’s rare for me to care about cooking with certain specific ingredients – I’m very flexible in my cookery – but for this I think these specific ingredients are vital. At least the ice cream. It really makes it, and it doesn’t hurt that it’s the best ice cream I’ve ever tasted in my life. I’m not joking. I mean I would NEVER ever order or buy vanilla ice cream when literally any other (nonfruit) flavor exists in this world but this Very Vanilla cashew-based ice cream from So Delicious is beyond anything I’ve ever tried. Oh man!
Ingredients:
- 1/3 cup Ripple Pea Protein milk in vanilla
- 1/4 cup tahini
- 1 cup So Delicious Cashew Milk ice cream in Very Vanilla
- Trader Joe’s new Coconut Whipped Cream – aka the GREATEST
Directions:
- Blend the milk and tahini in a blender RG (real good). Seriously please blend these before adding the ice cream because that way you will not overblend and thus liquefy the ice cream and end up with a UK-style ‘milkshake’ which is a lie and is really just flavored milk DON’T DO IT milkshakes should be THICK.
- Add the ice cream and blend for as short a stint as possible.
- Pour into a glass. A pretty one!
- Add a good 5 second spray of the Coconut whip (after you’ve shot a good 10 second spray directly into your mouth) and mix through with a spoon. Then top with a whole lot more whip, like the whole can.
- ENJOY!!!
- VISIT PHILLY!!!
Bonus pic of me drinking the SECOND best milkshake in the city/world, at HipCityVeg! Yes it was a milkshake filled trip! Photo cred: Cakalooch.
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That Time When I Made a “Sneaky Bean” Dessert & It Wasn’t Gross
beany beany bean bean beans
I’m sure you’ve seen tons of those recipes online in which possibly well-meaning people claim that they made the BEST EVER cookies with a can of white beans (they are so healthy and fat-free and sugar-free!), or amazing JUST LIKE THE REAL THING brownies made with a can of black beans (they are so healthy and sugar-free AND flourless AND tasteless!).
I’ve tried all of them. They were always disgusting. I’m sorry, but they were. Disgusting. Is there anything more upsetting than expectations of a delicious brownie dashed? Than having no dessert but some kind of bean patty that tastes more like hummus than brownie? No, I don’t think there is.
I’ve tried all of them. They were always disgusting. I’m sorry, but they were. Disgusting. Is there anything more upsetting than expectations of a delicious brownie dashed? Than having no dessert but some kind of bean patty that tastes more like hummus than brownie? No, I don’t think there is.
Is there anything more upsetting than expectations of a delicious brownie dashed?
With that in mind, you can understand how upset I was when my mom, as excited as a puppy with peanut butter, came to me and exclaimed, “I found this recipe for cookies online that uses chickpeas! Let’s make them today!” I tried to tell her that it was a bad idea. That it was always a bad idea. I knew from experience, I argued. But she wouldn’t accept it; we simply had to try.
Faced with my most-feared culinary nightmare, I decided not to be a victim anymore. We were going to make chickpea-filled cookies, and by god they were going to be FANTASTIC. And guess what? They were. I attribute this to throwing out all the recipes I’ve ever seen for these monstrosities, and instead learning from my experiences and accounting for the usual problems.
Faced with my most-feared culinary nightmare, I decided not to be a victim anymore. We were going to make chickpea-filled cookies, and by god they were going to be FANTASTIC. And guess what? They were. I attribute this to throwing out all the recipes I’ve ever seen for these monstrosities, and instead learning from my experiences and accounting for the usual problems.
THE USUAL PROBLEMS WITH SNEAKY BEAN RECIPES:
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PROBLEMS:
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SOLUTIONS!
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Told you they were gorgeous, didn’t I!! Oh wait no, no I didn’t.
Sneaky Chickpea Chocolate Chip Cookies
- 1 can chickpeas, rinsed very well
- 2t vanilla extract
- ¼ C almond milk
- ½ C peanut butter
- ¼ C speculoos
- 1/3 C agave nectar
- 1t baking powder
- pinch salt
- ½ C flour
- ½ C chocolate chips
Directions:
Preheat oven to 350°.
Puree the chickpeas and almond milk in a blender. (The Magic Bullet is perfect for this.) Add the vanilla, peanut butter, speculoos, and agave. You may need to add more milk if it gets too thick.
Mix the dry ingredients in a mixing bowl, then add the blender contents. Mix well. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper, and drop the batter onto it in cookie-sized balls. Bake for about 12 minutes. Let cool before trying to see if you finally made a beany cookie that isn’t disgusting.
I hope this works for you like it worked for me!
Genesis in Shoreditch: Good, Interesting, Overpriced Vegan Food
When I last lived in Philadelphia, I lived in the Rittenhouse Square area, right near the big (only?) Barnes and Noble on the corner of 18th and Walnut. Literally the day after I ended my lease, HipCityVeg, a super cool vegan ‘healthy but fun food’ joint, opened across the street from my old apartment. They had burgers, wraps, fries, shakes, all really fantastic too. (Of course their management is questionable at best but this isn’t a post about them.) So of course, of COURSE, I have to tell you that I used to live on Commercial Street, right outside Spitalfields market, right across the street from As Nature Intended, the organic shoppe. And lo, what has opened up right on that block recently? A super cool vegan ‘healthy but fun food’ joint, what else? Let me know if you’re looking to open up a similar place and I’ll tell you when I move from my current house, since I guess that’s the game the universe has chosen for me. Genesis, this newest addition to London’s vegan, organic, swanky, instagram-friendly restaurant scene, is a great addition to the neighborhood, but it’s a good thing I don’t live as close to it anymore, because it’s way too expensive.
Definitely the best decorated new place I’ve seen in a while, Genesis nails that chic fancy-casual (it’s a thing) vibe that Spitalfields and Shoreditch embrace more and more. Even the food market inside Spitalfields, once just shaky frames that would get taken down every evening, is now mainly composed of permanent counters that give the impression of easy street food but are upscale and expensive. Genesis is all cool, bright, and pink upstairs, with neon lights and fun artwork and signs advertising their choice to cook everything in avocado oil (supposedly healthier, probably more expensive). It feels like it could be an ’80s throwback, but also with ’70s New Mexico decor? It’s cute and fun. OH the only bad thing is – sometimes there is incense burning near the counter where you order, and where some diners will eat. That is like Restaurant 101, to never have strong smells competing with the food smells, especially near (or at!!) seats where it’ll interfere with people’s ability to taste the food. Did you never watch the Top Chef episode where the judges berate the team who puts scented candles on the tables? (One of three episodes I have seen.) Downstairs is dark, crowded, and feels like a late-night joint even earlier in the day (and where decent pictures are impossible). I have now eaten upstairs, downstairs, and via takeaway, so I am equipped to pass my judgment.
The menu, the giant gorgeous menu above, is probably the greatest sounding ever. I can’t remember any place I’ve ever been more excited about after looking at the menu. It is BALLER. Everything sounds amazing. Whoever created it really did a fantastic job. It’s random, with burgers and hot dogs and also laksa? and Indian food? but you get the worldly joyous feel they were going for.
Execution of the food is not as fantastic. It’s fine, don’t get me wrong, and some things are great. But nothing is so incredible that it warrants how expensive it is. Let’s take a look.
Let’s start with the apps and sides. The small plates, if you will, although most things here would fit that description. When I was there with a party of three, we ordered the nachos and the cheese sticks to start. I mean, guys, look at these portions. I could have housed both of these myself and still had room for my main. The bowl for the nachos is what most restaurants would serve a cup of soup in. Not even a bowl of soup! A cup! They were pretty good, but they needed more toppings to make it more ‘nacho’ and less ‘tortilla chips with some sprinkles’. Good, not great; small, not large. The nacho cupasoup bowl is £9.50!!! That is essentially 10 pounds for a handful of chips, a literal tablespoon of guacamole, and some peppers. I could make my own nacho trough for that price, and that’s expecting that I’d have to go through five or so avocados before finding a good one, LONDON.
But that was fine and whatever compared to the cheese sticks. Guys, do you see the cheese sticks? First of all, they were AMAZING. So delicious, so impressive – they found that right texture between solid and creamy that few purveyors of vegan mozzarella et al. cheese sticks have been able to. But that’s the full portion – three. And at least on my computer, the picture is true to actual size. They were about the size of my pinky finger, no longer or wider. And there were JUST THREE. And it cost £5.95! That’s a motherforking £2 PER PINKY. I didn’t realize how expensive they were because I didn’t pay for them but MAN ALIVE. I really liked them too.
The tacos are the best part of Genesis, I think, because even though one taco is £5 and that is ridiculous, that’s also about market rate for vegan tacos in London, at least compared with the queen of all vegan Mexican food, Club Mexicana. So fine. And the tacos here are really good. I’ve tried the smoked chorizo, with tomatillo salsa, potatoes, and pico de gallo; the fried avocado taco, with refried beans, pico de gallo, and sour cream; and the jackfruit hoisin, with jackfruit ‘duck’, hoisin mayo, cucumber and spring onion, and they were all RG. The fried avocado I’d say is my favorite, and then the jackfruit duck. Their duck piece was more solid than jackfruit usually is, which I liked. So, solid taco game, Genesis!
The next up of the small plates, maybe we’ll call them the Mindy St. Claire Medium Plates, if you will, do not fare as well. Nothing is bad, as I said above, but some things aren’t executed as well as others, especially for the price.
I’d been waiting a while to try the kamut mac & cheese, because they can’t do it to go, something about how it’s cooked in its wee pot. So we got it on our third trip, and while it was fine, it was kind of bland. And I love bland food. Also, this little ramekin is tiny. Given the trend so far, I’m sure it’s exactly what you’d expect here for £6.50, but in a regular place for that price I’d expect double the portion.
My most disappointing dish was the kale caesar salad. You know I love salad, like weirdly all the time love it and I even put regular food on top of salad often, so it’s no surprise I ordered this on my first visit. They offer two sizes for their salads, and I got the large. Or so I thought. Does this look like the large? I shudder to imagine what they serve the small size in, Dixie cups?? The perspective in the picture is a little off for comparing, but the salad bowl was about the same size as a taco, and about as deep too. The lettuce and kale were in too-big pieces, making it super awkward to eat. They definitely need to cut the leaves smaller. But at least it allows you to see how small the portion was – I mean you can count the total number of leaves in the bowl. It’s about 10. I can’t really believe that this is actually the large size, so I’m going to give them the benefit of the doubt that there was a mistake and this was the small, because for £12, Ima need more than 10 leaves.
The bigger dishes are much more satisfying, both in terms of value and taste. My favorite is the sabich, mainly because you get two. It’s little Israeli pita sandwiches with aubergine, red onion, green tahini, cucumber, tomatoes, and the best little tofu egg scramble. The flavor here was wonderful and I really liked it. And for £7.95 it’s the best value in the whole place. Would recommend!
Please excuse this picture of my takeaway, but it’s the torta Milanesa. And this is another one that’s pretty decent value and a great taste! Two in a row! I really enjoyed this super hearty, flavorful Mexican sandwich. Its base is panko-dipped aubergine slices, which were a little tough to bite without taking the entire slice out of the sandwich, so I’d recommend that they cut them into smaller pieces. But with the lettuce, avocado, chipotle mayo, salsa, onions, tomato, and coconut cheese, it was a great flavor. It says there’s nopal cactus in there too which is awesome but I didn’t really notice it. Regardless, this is a great sandwich, and for £9.95 it’s a lot but decent for this restaurant.
We also tried one of the hot dogs. Honestly, the reason I recommend the hot dogs over the burgers is purely based on size. If you aren’t that hungry, then order a burger. They are tiny. They’re a little bit tall, but they are the circumference of sliders. Literally half the size of a Vurger burger (which is around the corner, and cheaper, just saying). But the hot dogs are well-sized. For about £11, they better be. This sauerkraut dog is the simplest of the hot dog offerings, but is solid. I know I’m criticizing a lot, but look at that plate, and imagine a burger about a 1/3 of the size of the hot dog (at best) all alone on that plate. It doesn’t take a lot to add something, even if it’s just a few pieces of lettuce and onion, on the side so it doesn’t look so lonely and depressing.
Genesis has a banging dessert menu, including my favorite food in the world: soft-serve. I know. It’s really delicious but much richer than the typical cheap soft serve that I love out of those magical machines. I was told that it’s a mix of cashew and coconut, which accounts for the richness, and for the cost, I guess. It’s £3.95 for this little cup, which is okay I guess for London, typical, fine. But then each topping is another POUND. Man, at least make the little sprinkle of chocolate shavings 50p or something. A whole pound for a teaspoon of powder seems extravagant. I would have loved to have tried the soft serve with the chocolate sand (as pictured) and the honeycomb together, as a server recommended, but £6 for a little baby cup would have been too much.
They also use the soft serve for their milkshakes, which are great, I must say. You know I rail on and on about how London can’t do good milkshakes because they are too thin. But Genesis does them pretty great. Although, again, for £7, jeez louise.
So given its expensive location in the gentrified-beyond-recognition area of Spitalfields, and given that it has a decent number of (actually really nice) staff, and given that they use hundo p organic ingredients, I’m sure the prices are warranted to cover costs. It’s just that they could try a little to make it not seem like you’re getting ripped off. It doesn’t cost much in terms of time or effort to throw a basic af side salad on the plate with the sadly small burger, or throw some cheap fries next to the hot dog. And would it really cost them that much more to have another cheese stick or two in that order, considering at the moment it’s three little bits the size of mini gherkins??? I’m trying really hard to give them the benefit of the doubt regarding their price points, but the more I think about it, the more ridiculous it seems. I mean THREE CHEESE STICKS. For SIX POUNDS! That is 2 pounds per little fried mini Gherkin. As someone who has eaten her fair share of overpriced food, I can say with a fair deal of certainty that there’s nothing in a 1.5 inch piece of fried (delicious) goop worth 2 whole freaking pounds.
But if you know what to order (the sabich, the torta) and what to skip (the cheese sticks, the salad! le sigh), then you can at least have great food for an okay value, at least given the area. And that way it doesn’t feel too excessive to get soft-serve too! I feel bad being so critical of this place because I really do like the food and I really really like the staff. And they have nice bathrooms! But most of the dishes are just so g-d overpriced. Given how much great vegan food is in the area, and for so much cheaper, I can’t really justify going here all that regularly. But if you are in London, you give it a try! And tell me I’m wrong! I’d love to be wrong.
