"Hello, Dolly!" on Broadway: Bette Midler is a Ham & You'll Eat It Upby Randi / November 23, 2017
My recent trip home to Philly and NYC was jam-packed with new and delicious vegan food options, from the carrot lox at Orchard Grocer to Philly’s amazing new joints Wiz Kid and Goldie. Add in all the incredible new finds at Trader Joe’s and I was almost overwhelmed with vegan options, especially considering my dearth of options this past summer in Central Asia! With vegan treats coming at me from all sides, you’d think it would be hard to choose a favorite, but that was the easy part. The new (at least in my book, come on I’ve been gone forever) outpost of Juice Merchant, an all-vegan 100% organic cafe, on Montgomery Avenue in Narberth wins that honor. (There’s also one in Manayunk.) The food, while not Landau-levels of otherworldly perfection, is solidly good, sometimes great; the menu is the exact perfect size for offering tons of options but not being overwhelming (us vegans aren’t used to having such choice!); the drinks menu is flawless; the staff is insanely nice; and the desserts – guys – the desserts are from Vegan Treats. Finally a place on the Main Line with a constant supply of that peanut butter mousse!
If you’re a devoted reader, you know that if I don’t have salad access, I’m pretty cranky. I love salad, what can I say, I’m a total boring stereotype. I’m also a big fan of Joey so I love sandwiches, especially those that can pass as somewhat healthy. This in large part explains why I loved Juice Merchant so much – their menu is composed primarily of interesting salads and fun but still healthy sandwiches, so it’s like it’s tailor-made for my tastes. It reaches that hard-to-find balance between fun-but-greasy-tummy-ache food on one side of the spectrum and so-raw-and-health-conscious-that-it-tastes-like-feet on the other. Everything I tried – and hoo boy, did we try a lot – was good, and some was great. And next time I’m in town, I know some easy tweaks (“t-w-e-a-k-ing tweaking”) for when I order that, given how nice and accommodating the staff was, I’m sure they wouldn’t mind making. And I’ll share my thoughts on those tweaks herein so you can use them if/when you go. And if you’re in the area, you should.
THE FOOD
For dinner one evening between my party, we tried the three sandwiches and one flatbread. I know you’re thinking, ‘dude you JUST said how much you love salads and I see a prettayyyy prettayyy big salad section on the picture of the menu above so are you a liar or what?’ And I know, I was going to order at least one salad but guess what, ALL the sandwiches come with side salads! So it’s like winning extra prizes and getting to try two things when you get a sandwich! I mean OBVIOUSLY if I had my druthers I would have gotten a full salad too but I was with sandwich-preferers and honestly you can’t lose with this menu. Damn I LOVE side salad inclusions! My first choice was the Vegan Cubano, because I love jackfruit and I love the cubanos I’ve had in the past (like at Blackbird in Philly, man alive, but definitely a place that veers towards the too-fun-for-me side of the spectrum). Juice Merchant’s cubano was made with dehydrated jackfruit, vegan cheese, dijon mustard, and pickles. Dehydrating the jackfruit is a really interesting move. I’m not sure how necessary it is, since it makes the sandwich a little drier than it would be otherwise, but it gives the sandwich a kicking smokiness which is the payoff. I think my edition needed a bit more on the pickle-side to cut all that dark smokiness, and maybe a piece of lettuce would help as well. It also didn’t have that much cheese, which is usually a good thing for me but maybe the teensiest bit more would have been good. But my two non-vegan dining companions thought it was amazing and I’m very particular, so it’s all good. It came on a cute little English-muffin-almost-looking bun that gave it the right bread-to-filling ratio. I’m all about ratios. ALSO, the side salad it came with had chickpeas and a great balsamic-based dressing so yay!! This entire big platter was only $9.50, which, living in London and coming from NYC in the days before, seemed just about free to me.
Jackfruit cubano
My next top choice (I have a lot of tops and bests and favorites, as you know) was the BLTA, a twist on the classic with automatic avocado. Automatic avocado is a surefire way to win me over, especially outside of the UK where the avocado might actually be good. The B in this sandwich was made from portobello mushroom, flavored and cooked like bacon, and it was delicious. The ratio (I’m all about ratios) of the mushroom bacon to tomato to lettuce to avocado was right, and the regular sandwich bread it was on was grilled and it was all perfect. It had a good amount of red onion too, which normally I hate but it worked well here. This was my fave sandwich by far. Just so perfect and delicious. This whole big mess of food (minus the chickpeas in the cup; they were from another person’s plate and I wanted them, but the chickpeas on the salad were again included I love this place) was also $9.50 which like come onnnn it’s almost annoyingly well-priced. They could easily raise their prices, I think.
the BLTA
The last item from the sandwich board we tried this evening was the Avocado Toast, which is always great and didn’t disappoint here. They offer it with either tomato and sprouts or arugula and pine nuts; both options cost the same, $6. This is avocado toast that won’t be the reason you can’t buy a house, millennials! Look at the size of this plate for $6. I cannot even. One good avocado in London will cost that much, I mean if such a thing existed. It’s hard to find pine nuts in the wild that don’t cost you an extra $20 so we ordered that option. So good! I really can’t with this whole mess costing $6. And on the Main Line!
Avocado toast
You can order all the sandwiches as is, on wraps, on multigrain bread, on gluten-free buns or wraps, or in lettuce wraps. I love all the options.
Lastly, we ordered the mushroom flatbread. There are three flatbreads, including one Hawaiian style made with jackfruit that sounds amazing. This is a big ole pizza-like shebang for $10, with mushrooms, walnuts, onions, garlic, tomatoes, and topped with red onion, parsley, mint, and lemon juice on top of a whole lot of melted cheese. I think they use Daiya – I’m not sure, I should have asked, but it seemed like Daiya – so if you don’t absolutely adore Daiya or just a lot of cheese in general, ask for less cheese than usual. I don’t mind Daiya – I’d prefer if they switched to Violife, which is the best and would be amazing even in an overdose – so the one change I’d make is the lemon juice. I don’t think it’s necessary and I think that was the culprit that detracted from the goodness overall of all the rest of the ingredients. There was something just a tad off, sharp, and I think it was lemon juice. The mushrooms and cheesiness without it would be like creamy and warm and amazing. The mushroom and nut mix is a great idea to add more substance, and the bread was a little crispy and a little chewy. Overall it was pretty good.
I can’t wait to try the rest of the food menu. My mom raves about the grilled cheese sandwich – and it’s only $5 with tomato and a dollar extra for the portobello bacon, so like, damn. The salads looked amazing, and I think the salad menu would be even more stellar with maybe a protein add-in option for all the salads overall. One had seitan, one had crispy tofu, and while I’m positive that they would add them to your salad choice if you asked, it would be easier and very cool if it was just listed, like ‘add crispy tofu for $2’ or whatever like that. The only weird thing about the menu (not actually weird, just weird to me) is the curious lack of tempeh in sight! Usually vegan places are all about the tempeh (as am I). It’s not bad, just weird to see (or not see!). If they make some menu changes seasonally or something I’d love to see a tempeh reuben oh oh my god I’d fly in just to try it. Maybe instead of the more basic options like the grilled portobello sandwich, which has been our only option at restaurants for so long that I can’t see many vegs ordering it when so many amazing options exist here.
Anyway, that’s enough about food. Juice Merchant also has a killer drinks menu – juices, smoothies, and coffee! I didn’t take a pic of the coffee options because I’m not a coffee drinker but even so I was still impressed by the extensive list.
The smoothie options sound great, and given the existence of the hemp and soy protein powders in the Protein Power smoothie, I bet you could add that to the others if you asked (as I would because I’m a protein powder fiend). I don’t know what the Blue Majik in the Cool Blue smoothie is but I wish I noticed that when I was there and asked! Those combos sound great, as do the juice options. We tried the Beet It juice and it was good. It was premade in the display case which helps speed things up if you’re in a hurry. The carrot-cinnamon-apple-maca options sounds like the first good use of maca! I’ve never been able to figure out how to use it so as not to vom but this sounds worth a try for sure. Genius. I love the $7.95 price for all the drinks, damn, especially having come from NYC where a small juice was like $11. I still can’t get over the Banana Whips and how amazing they sound (I LOVE banana whips) and how I was too full to try one. Le sigh. Next time! I love that they add granola; I wonder if it’s house made. And an Acai Bowl! Next time I’m going for breakfast. Except I need to try a salad. Dammit there’s too much!
THE DESSERT
Speaking of too much:
Juice Merchant gets Vegan Treats treats delivered every Thursday, and the selection is off the chain. They have the giant cinnamon buns (they are GIANT) which are the best ever. They have the peanut butter mousse brownie-cake bars which are THE BEST EVER. (Everything from Vegan Treats is the best ever, if you didn’t know.) They have the whoopie pies (three flavors!), the donuts (oh my god), and – THE CANNOLIS! I am NEVER able to find the cannolis because they’re usually just at Grindcore in South Philly and when do I ever get to go to South Philly anymore. So this is exciting. I got everything. It keeps!! IT KEEPS.
HELLO LOVER |
DANISHES? |
Okay I’ll stop. It’s all the best. I’ve never seen those Avocado Truffles before and I’m not sure if they’re Vegan Treats or Juice Merchant-made but I loved them!
Aside from the VT, there’s MORE dessert that is indeed house-made, and it’s amazing. We tried the chia pudding and the avocado mousse that you can sort of see in the big display case picture below. Both were SO good. I think I preferred the avocado mousse more even though I’m a huge chia head (ch ch ch chia!) because they made that subtle cocoa flavor just spot on.
The best part (how many best parts did I already say there were?) aside from the great food and drinks and the amazing desserts was how nice the staff was. And that there’s a big clean bathroom. And that they give a discount for teachers which I LOVE. Hooray for being kind to teachers. I can’t get over how perfect this place is and how close it is to my USA home. I can’t wait to go back and I highly recommend that you go if you can. Next time I think the chocolate peanut butter banana whip will be my first order of business. Or the carrot-maca juice. Or the blue magik smoothie. Or the veggie burger; I must try theirs! Or the cabbage and seitan salad! Oh my god I want everything. Who am I kidding it will be the peanut butter mousse cakey-pie thing. Okay now I’m hungry and I have to cook for myself ughhhhh. Go and enjoy!
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Manchester, England (England): The Allotment Vegan Restaurant
Recently, we traveled to Manchester England (England) (you can’t not sing it, right?? well I can’t not) in order to dine at the famed vegan restaurant The Allotment. We spent the weekend in the city, but dinner here was our primary purpose for the trip. We’ve heard only amazing reviews about this restaurant, which was named the Best Vegetarian Restaurant in the UK several times over, and the chef is acclaimed for having delivered fancy vegan fare to Manchester (England England). When the restaurant moved from outside the city, in Stockport, to the Manchester city center, we booked in immediately, ready to be blown away, or at least to enjoy a great meal. I hate to say it, but I assuredly was not and did not.
The quality of the food at The Allotment may have suffered in the move, as they’re only two months into the new space. Maybe they’re still getting settled. Or maybe it has to do with the fact that two days before our dinner, it was announced that the head chef and the man responsible for all the restaurant’s success, Matthew Nutter, was leaving. It was unclear when he was leaving, but I wouldn’t be surprised if it was an immediate resignation, because I don’t think that acclaimed wonder of a chef was cooking my food. It was very nice to have a fancy dining option outside of London, and it was great to have a relatively affordable tasting menu (£65 for ten courses is prettay prettay amazing in the tasting menu world), but the food was not up to standard. In general, the dishes that tasted good were basic and uninspired, and the dishes that showed creativity and invention didn’t taste very good. It’s a disappointment and I hope that they find their footing again.
Before we get into the food, I’m gonna snob out and say that including the amuse bouche – usually a gift from the chef – as one of the ten courses is kind of bullshirt. At any other restaurant where we’ve had the tasting menu, the chef would send out amuse bouches (amuses bouche?) just to say hayy. Since this meal was quite cheaper than those, it’s fine and makes sense that we didn’t get extra dishes, but like don’t even call it an amuse bouche on the menu, seems a little ‘ya basic’ ya know?
Okay, speaking of that amuse, it was a yummy Fried Ball. Like a cheeseless arancini, made with wild rice. It was one of those times when you’d quote Jon Lovitz on Friends and be all “I could have 100 of those!” but you just get one, to amoos you (if I spelled it right you wouldn’t have understood how to say it okay), and you get over it because after all it was just a Fried Ball.
Fried Ball on a cool plate
Our first real course was roasted butternut squash soup, with a topping of porcini mushroom pieces and toasted chestnuts. This soup is the prime example of one of the dichotomies I stated above: it tasted good but basic, so basic I even said to it “ya basic…that’s devastating, you’re devastated right now.” Don’t get me wrong, it was a fine soup, but I’ve made the exact same thing (or more interesting) 100x. To make it worthier, there should have been 5x as much of the porcini and chestnut topping. But it was fine, and best of all it was served in an old-fashioned bowl with a handle that made us feel like we were on the Oregon trail or some such. Luckily no dysentery!
trail soup
I was very excited for the next dish, one of the intriguing, innovative items on the menu. It was listed as ‘baked plantain, jerk billtong.’ Biltong (apparently the proper spelling guyzzz) is a South African dried meat, so, gross. I love baked plantain so I was set to be impressed. Unforch, this is a prime example of the second main issue I stated above: it was inventive, but did not taste good. The first problem was that instead of baked plantain, it was plantain ice cream. I was not ready for ice cream, and the flavor was off – sweet but sharp and unpleasant. The biltong flavor was even more unpleasant, with a very sour bite that was hard to accept. The sauce that went along with everything was that same flavor and it was kind of hard to eat this dish. I commend them for the originality, but the execution is lacking. Even just losing the ice cream in favor of plain baked plantain would have improved this.
you owe me baked plantain
Another inventive but lacking dish came after the biltong debacle. The celeriac shwarma, with coconut, mint, and orange, could have been interesting but the three accompanying flavors – the coconut, mint, and orange – just did not work. It wasn’t ‘shwarma’ in any way, just hunks of celeriac, and there was way too much shredded coconut on top. I liked that there was raw spinach, because I like greens, but the flavors did not coalesce in any way.
shwarma?
I almost feel bad talking about the next dish, but the public deserves to know. This may have been the worst dish I’ve ever eaten in a restaurant. I really do applaud the creativity here, but the result is NG. The chicory terrine was a great idea in theory, because terrine is usually a French pate, full of gross meats, so to make a vegetable version of that shaped dish was an interesting goal. However, it tasted like Jewish deli at the end of the day. It was just the taste of pickle, of vinegar, of raw pearl onion. I couldn’t finish it. The main part of the terrine was too vinegary and off, while the giant onions took up half the space. The pickled cauliflower on the side was more of the same flavor, so I don’t know what it adds.
green emoji face
Thankfully, the rest of the savory dishes all tasted fine, even delicious, but they were regular, unexciting kinds of food. However, after the terrine incident, I was happy to have some basic af food for moving on. First we have the slow roasted squash, with fried oyster mushroom rosti and smoked aubergine. There was also surprise tenderstem broccoli and amazing little tiny cubes of fried tofu. It all tasted exactly how you imagine, since no doubt you have eaten regular broccoli and a big old chunk of roasted squash in your lives. It was good, and plain. To make it better, the big old chunk of squash should have been tofu – for a vegan restaurant, there was surprisingly little protein, to our dismay. We always complain about nonvegan restaurants’ giving me tasting menus with no protein, so I expected better at an actual vegan place.
i mean ya fine, but ya basic
The last of the savory dishes was confit potato, with black olive, pickled daikon, and crispy kale. This was by far my favorite dish, because the layer of black olive tapenade added a new and interesting flavor to the other basic ingredients. The only real disappointing aspect was the freaking GIANT baked potato. There’s the mashed potato on the bottom, you see? and then the mushrooms (yum!), and then the tapenade layer, and then that big hunk of a yellowish thing is BAKED POTATO. It was so much! Like why not tofu, or seitan, or beans, or anything but baked potato on top of mashed potato? I mean in a city famous for its chip butties I guess I’m not surprised but duuuudes. The crispy kale was a nice addition though, and while the daikon was wholly unnecessary and felt supes random, overall this dish was the best and I’d happily eat it again – without the giant potato.
you say potato, I say potato
Another kind-of-cheating-to-count-this-as-a-course thing came next, the ‘pre-dessert,’ or what you might call the palate cleanser. Kind of a cop out, right? It was a decent water ice situation, but it was made with gin, which was disappointing. I maybe should have told them that I didn’t want straight alcohol in my food but who would have ever known that was going to be a problem.
The first of our two desserts was ‘apple noodles, yuzu sorbet, and cumin pastels.’ I know what you’re thinking – apple noodles? that sounds interesting! And I was intrigued, before I realized – oh dip, this is literally raw apples in noodle-ish form. Like how spiralized zucchini makes ‘zucchini noodles’. So this was a gigantic pile of shredded raw apple. Don’t get me wrong, I love apples, but like, a dayum. The sorbet was decent, and I loved that they tried something creative with the little cumin gummies and the dusting of chili pepper throughout the dish, but yeesh, straight cumin in a dessert is kind of gross. I appreciate the risk but it would have been better with say ginger gummies. This is the actual conversation my husband and I had during this course; I took notes so I know it’s accurate:
Me: How do you feel about the cumin? I think it’s weird.
Husbo: Yeah but I do think you need to liven things up, otherwise it’s all very same same.
Me: But they could do that with like crystallized ginger or something, some flavor that’s more desserty and less curry.
Husbo: Yeah. And they would need to mix something all through the dish, not just on top, because otherwise you’re just sitting here like an asshole eating a pile of apples.
it looks like a normal amount of apple shreddings but it was literally at least two whole apples
Lastly was the warm whiskey cream over chocolate mousse, with chili and hibiscus. This dessert was pretty delicious. The chocolate mousse was wonderful, sturdier than your average mousse which I liked. The tangerine slice was random but I’ll let it slide. The ice cream I think was the hibiscus? It’s hard to gauge that one, but the honeycomb bits and the mousse were good enough. The best part was that it came with a little pot of the whiskey cream, which did not taste like whiskey (yay) really, but just like warm vanilla-y cream sauce with a punch. It was really good!
chocooo
So, overall it was a very interesting meal, with a few delicious dishes, a lot of weirdness, and some questions, like, what are they smoking back there? Is anyone trying the dishes as they make them? Or oh, is this like when Sookie didn’t know she was pregnant and her tastes were all over the place and all the food she sent out of the Inn’s kitchen was a mess like some were overly seasoned to the point of inedibleness and some were unsalted and it was all off and then she was like NORMAN MAILER I’M PREGNANT that might have been a different pregnancy, Sookie was preggers a lot, but you get what I’m saying. Something was off, and I am disappointed to have missed out on a visit to The Allotment that was on par with its illustrious history. Maybe next time, maybe next time.
The Allotment, Manchester, England (England)
Water speed: They brought carafes and were pretty good about it.
Service: Pretty nice. I thought the dishes were well timed.
Bathrooms: Fine, clean and bright (small and whiteeee)
Food: Decent, but finding its footing.
Bonus: It’s amazing to have an all vegan restaurant outside London, and one with a fancy tasting menu to boot.
Morimoto Philadelphia: The Original Sushi Lovers’ Paradise Has Wonderful Vegan Options
Despite living in Philadelphia since Morimoto opened, I never ate there until after I became vegan. It might seem like unfortunate timing to many, but the vegan options are so wonderful that anyone, vegan or omnivore, would be more than satisfied eating fishless here. I called the restaurant when I was helping The Humane League make the new Philly Veg Dining Guide, and the person I spoke with was so excited to talk about their fantastic vegan options that it warranted inclusion.
It’s still milk! |
Now it’s tofu! |
I’ve tried many dishes and still not all of them. I started with the yosedofu, which I’ve heard is one of Morimoto’s most famous and beloved dishes for vegetarians and non-vegetarians alike. Perhaps the most authentic dish on the menu, the yosedofu is a soft tofu that is made at your table. The server brings a clay pot of fresh soy milk to your table, stirs it with a flourish, and covers it for 10-15 minutes. When the time is up, the lid is lifted and you magically have a dish of solid tofu! It usually comes with a crab sauce, but the vegetarian option was some type of carrot-y goo. The tofu was insane, obviously the freshest you could ever imagine, but begged for a strong sauce. This goo was not that sauce. I ended up using a lot of soy sauce to give it the necessary kick. The video below shows the waiter stirring the soy milk for way longer than you need to watch it.
The tofu, now plated
Speaking of the soy sauce, the #1 rule for vegetarian dining at Morimoto is to ask for the vegetarian soy sauce! What kind of soy sauce isn’t vegetarian by default, you ask incredulously? Morimoto’s house soy sauce, that’s what. It’s ‘infused’, or some other fancy word, with fish sauce. E. Gads. Like I said, #1 rule.
Next I tried a dish that I have been craving daily ever since I had it, the cha-soba, which are green tea noodles, chilled, with scallions, wasabi, sesame seeds, and shoyu. I don’t know how these subtle noodles won me over but they did. I didn’t quite get the green tea – maybe I don’t actually know what the flavor of green tea is if it’s not over-steeped actual bitter tea – but there was a special, new taste to them that was lovely. I love noodles. Noodles noodles noodles. Watch them go down. Down into my belly.
Noodles. Every time you eat them, you get smarter.
See you tonight! Sushi! Sushi!
Surprisingly, the sushi rolls were less impressive, though of course delicious. At a place like this, you’d expect even their vegetarian sushi rolls to be as innovative and remarkable as the fishy rolls. But, although the seasonal vegetable maki and the shiitake mushroom rolls were great and I could eat 100 of them, they were basic. They weren’t noticeably better than anything I’d get from the local great but non-veg sushi place. Maybe I’m just super-spoiled by Beyond Sushi, the all vegan sushi joint in NYC, which I have pretty much every single weekend. Okay, I’m definitely spoiled by Beyond Sushi. But shouldn’t Morimoto be better than a counter in Chelsea Market? He needs to add some creative vegan sushi to the menu.
Two of the main entrees can be made vegan, and while I didn’t get them, I will need to next time because they both sound great. One, the ishi yaki bop, is rice cooked with vegetables and tofu (for the veg option) in a hot stone bowl that crispifies the components, like a bi bim bap. I know you are shocked I didn’t get something with the word bop in it. Next time. The other option was another rice and tofu-based dish that sounded wonderful.
Two of the main entrees can be made vegan, and while I didn’t get them, I will need to next time because they both sound great. One, the ishi yaki bop, is rice cooked with vegetables and tofu (for the veg option) in a hot stone bowl that crispifies the components, like a bi bim bap. I know you are shocked I didn’t get something with the word bop in it. Next time. The other option was another rice and tofu-based dish that sounded wonderful.
My favorite dish was the yasai ramen, an already vegetarian soup with vegetable broth, rice noodles, and Japanese vegetables. The vegetables were not as plentiful as I would have hoped (or cut small enough! It got messy), but there were lots of those stick-like mushrooms that I love. And more importantly, the broth was superb. It was the best soup broth I have ever tasted. Stuffed at this point, I still needed to finish this enormous bowl. I would go back and just get this ramen. I wonder if Morimoto does orders for pick-up. This huge bowl of perfect soup was only $12, too, so it’s pretty much the same price as any ramen you’d get from any street corner noodle shop. What a great deal! The rest of the menu is pretty incredibly expensive, but this ramen is so filling and delicious you’d be set just having this and proving to your friends that eating vegan can be cheap, even at four-dollar-sign restaurants! (Just don’t ever split the bill evenly. Ever. Always say, “Nah let’s each pay for what we got.” Jesus.)
Someone remind me what my favorite kind of mushroom is called.
MORIMOTO, PHILADELPHIA
- Water speed: Decent, but the glasses are too small. What is it with fancy restaurants and tiny glasses? Give me enormous beersteins or something!
- Bathrooms: Downstairs and lovely, as expected in fancy restaurants. HOWEVER, my biggest gripe was that one sink was marked as ‘out of order’, but was just running nonstop. I talked to the hostess and she said “Yeah, that’s broken.” I asked if someone was called to SHUT THE WASTING WATER OFF, and she said yes but like, how long does it take to get a plumber to just shut off the water? How long did they let it run? Ughhh stabby.
- Service: It was fine at first, but then in the second half of our meal, our waitress was nowhere to be found. It got so bad that we were going to order dessert, and then too much time went by that it was like bedtime so we just asked another waiter for our check. When it was time to pay, our waitress came back and looked super out of it. I blame the rampant drug problem that occurs behind the scenes at fancy restaurants.
- Food: Delicious and interesting, for the most part. Great place to bring omnivores for a special occasion (it is expensive!)
- Bonus: Eating at an Iron Chef’s restaurant is pretty cool, even if he wasn’t there.
