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Veganizing “Friends”: It’s Pronounced ‘Nes-LAY Too-LOUSuh’

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PictureCOOOOOKIES!

     Oh, I KNOW you know this one! It’s “The One With Phoebe’s Cookies”!! We’ve got everyone exactly in their element: Phoebe being silly and a bit ignorant, Monica absolutely obsessing over getting something perfect, Ross making everything about him (remember “IT’S BATCH 16! BATCH 16 PEOPLE! GET OUT OF THE WAY!”). This episode also has a fantastic Joey & Rachel storyline on Joey’s new boat*, and one of my favorite cold opens EVER. But back to the most important issue – cookies! So, Phoebe’s grandmother had the best chocolate chip cookie recipe, and Monica wants it as her engagement present, so she can one day be the mother who makes the best chocolate chip cookies:

Monica: Hey, I know I what I want!

Chandler: What we want honey.

Monica: No, you don’t want this. I want to have your grandmother’s cookie recipe.

Phoebe: You mean the chocolate chip cookie recipe?

Monica: Uh-huh, yeah.

Phoebe: You mean the one that my grandmother made me swear on her deathbed that I would never let out of our family?

Chandler: Dying people say the craziest things.

Monica: I wanted it for years! I was gonna make cookies for my children.

Phoebe: Break my heart—Oh, all right.

BUT SACRE BLEU!!! Phoebe lost the recipe in the fire*!! She does, however, have a few cookies frozen that were made from that recipe. Monica, the amazing chef she is, is determined to reverse-engineer the recipe from the few finished cookies. She spends dayyyys working and reworking various methods of CCC construction, with dozens of batches both good and, like Batch 16, terrible! And then…and then…and gentlemen, and then…this happens:
All this time, this miraculous recipe was the one ON THE BACK OF THE BAG OF NESTLE TOLL HOUSE CHOCOLATE CHIPS!!!! (It warrants all caps.) My anger on Monica’s behalf is only lessened by the subtitles in the above video. (I love subtitles; I don’t know why.) To honor our dear Friends, we’re going to make the famous Nestle Toll House chocolate chip recipe found on the back of the chips! And we’re going to veganize it! Since I don’t buy NTH chips (do they even make any that are vegan?) I found the recipe online here. It’s pretty easy to veganize – vegan butter for the butter, and egg subs (I chose flax eggs) for the eggs! Let’s see if they are really the best. Do you think they could actually be better than Dreena’s Homestyle Chocolate Chip Cookie? Or Isa’s, or Kelly Peloza’s? SUSPENSE.
VEGANIZED NESTLE TOLL HOUSE COOKIE RECIPE
INGREDIENTS:

  • 1C vegan butter (like Earth Balance)
  • 3/4C white sugar
  • 3/4C brown sugar
  • 1t vanilla extract
  • 2 large flax eggs: 3T ground flax seed, 4T hot water
  • 1t salt
  • 1t baking soda
  • 2 1/4C all-purpose flour
  • 1C chips (calls for 2, but 1 was plenty!)

DIRECTIONS:

  1. Preheat oven to 375°
  2. Blend your flax egg ingredients together in a small blender, like a Magic Bullet. Or, you can mix vigorously and let it sit for a few minutes, to get all gooey.
  3. Next, in a mixing bowl, beat the butter and sugars together until creamy. If you have a stand mixer, use that. If you don’t, like me, I bet you have guuuuns.
  4. Add the vanilla and the flax eggs, and beat for a few minutes.
  5. Then slowly add the dry ingredients (I always add the small dries, like the salt and soda, first, mix through, then start with the flour) and the chips. It’s a lot of flour, right? But it all gets absorbed. Mix until it forms a ball.
  6. Form small cookie shapes with your hands and put them on a cookie sheet lined with parchment paper. (I made about 16.)
  7. Bake for 9-11 minutes.
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Finished ball
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Making the flax egg
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Man alive that’s a lot of butter!
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Creaming the butter and sugars

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    So wow, these puffed up like whoa! I think from the egg! Can you believe, the vegan version of the Nestle Toll House cookies are TOO EGGY! They were of course really good, and I particularly enjoyed how slightly salty they were. If you like your cookies puffy and almost cakey, you will love these!! I prefer mine a bit crunchier, so if I made them again, I would cut the egg in half at least. Also, wow they use a lot of butter for my tastes. Wow! So, they are really good, but I don’t think they are better than the above-mentioned 3 stars of vegan chocolate chip cookies. It’s too bad these other recipes didn’t exist 10 or so years ago, because Monica would have flipped out over them and avoided all of these dramazz. Oh well! If cakey and buttery is your thing, go make these yummy cookies!

Editor’s edit: These may be the only cookies that are 100x better hours after baking than they are straight out of the oven! So good, actually! Go make them!


      Congratulations on reaching the end of VeganMoFo, for all of my fellow participants! Don’t worry, I will still be Veganizing “Friends” recipes – just not everyday! And if you have any requests, please let me know in the comments.
Giveaway Trivia: Last Chance!!!

  1. What was the name of Joey’s boat?
  2. When out on the water, who does Joey yell at and call a jackass?
  3. What caused the fire in Phoebe’s apartment?
  4. In Chandler’s hilarious side-plot, what happens when he plays racquetball with Monica & Ross’s dad?
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