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Veganizing “Friends”: Phoebe’s Rehearsal Dinner Potstickers

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     We all know how much I adore Monica, yes? She gets angry in hilarious ways, she loves controlling everything, and she has really shiny hair. I aspire to be like her in most aspects. HOWEVER. Today we’re all about hating Monica. I KNOW!! Bitch needs a slap in the face for changing the food at Phoebe’s rehearsal dinner without the bride’s authorization. It’s worse than it sounds: In “The One With Phoebe’s Wedding”, Phoebe, the bride and a vegetarian, requests vegetarian potstickers be served so she has SOMETHING TO EAT AT HER OWN DINNER. But Monica in full-out bitchface mode commits an unforgivable sin: 

Monica: (looking at Phoebe eating something) Pheebs, spit that out, that has pork in it.

Phoebe: Oh! I though the potstickers were supposed to be vegetarian!

Monica: Yeah, I changed them. I sent you a fax about it!

Phoebe: I don’t have a fax machine.

Monica: Ah, well then there are gonna be a few surprises!


      F-ing A, Monica! I’m still livid on Phoebe’s behalf. EVERYTHING at a vegetarian’s wedding should be vegetarian! F*** the people who think otherwise. And DOUBLE F*** those people that we all know who don’t think they can go 4 hours without eating meat and think they are entitled to being fed meat at someone else’s wedding. F*** that noise. Obviously, I feel very strongly that if you have a certain way of eating, a party being thrown for you should cater 100% to your desires. It’s extra annoying because, for most restrictions, guests/relatives/strangers on the internet will agree with this…except for veganism. A person with celiac disease should have a gluten-free wedding cake, yes, they agree. A kosher couple should not be forced to wrap bacon around their cantaloupe or whatever people like to wrap bacon around, sure sure. Muslims should be able to have Halal-certified meat, of course (but don’t have meat, please). But when vegans try to have an all vegan wedding (or any event), cue the firestorm of negativity. It makes no sense. (But it is a very good way to weed out the people who you don’t want to waste your time playing with anymore.) Anyway, in honor of the 87 weddings I’ve gone to in the past 2 months, I am making Phoebe her vegetarian potstickers today. And they are going to kick Monica’s scrappy behind. 
VEGETARIAN POTSTICKERS
INGREDIENTS FOR DOUGH:

  • 2+1/2C whole wheat flour
  • 1t salt 
  • 1+1/4C boiling water

DIRECTIONS FOR DOUGH: 

  1. Mix the flour and salt together in a mixing bowl.
  2. Boil your water (can just microwave for 2 minutes) and pour it into the flour bowl slowly, as you mix with a chopstick (so I was told to do. You can use any utensil that works for you). 
  3. Mix into a ball, and knead several times on your countertop.
  4. Let dough sit in bowl, covered, for an hour.

INGREDIENTS FOR FILLING

  • 10 oz. shredded raw green cabbage (by weight, so it looks like about 3 cups raw)
  • 1C shredded raw spinach
  • 1t salt
  • 3t sesame oil
  • 1T soy sauce
  • 1T fresh minced ginger
  • 1 clove minced garlic

DIRECTIONS FOR FILLING:

  1. Put your cabbage and spinach in a mixing bowl and cover with the salt. Let sit for 30 minutes. (You want to get rid of moisture.)
  2. Mix all ingredients into the veggie bowl until well mixed. 

DIRECTIONS FOR ASSEMBLY:

  1. In a big heavy-bottomed pot, cook enough oil to cover the bottom (somewhere between 4T – 7T), over medium-high heat. Stand back. 
  2. Roll out your dough in sections to get it long and flat. Cut into squares about 3×3.
  3. Place 1-2T of filling in the middle of your dough squares. Fold over and pinch the sides. You can see by my pictures that I’m not the best at this step. Just try not to touch the filling (or any oil/wetness) to the sides of the dough, because that causes the dumplings to separate while cooking.
  4. Drop as many dumplings into the oil as will fit (this made 2 batches of 10 for me) and immediately pour 1C of water or vegetable stock over it. Cover the pot with the lid and let cook for 10 minutes. 
  5. Carefully take the dumplings out, lay on a paper towel to sop up some of the oil, and repeat with the remainder of your ingredients. 
  6. Let cool, and enjoy! 
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Mixing the dough with a chopstick like an Asian lady told me to
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This is the cabbage I used, obvs from Trader Joe’s
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Rolled out dough, ginger in background
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Cabbage filling
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Cooking in the oily water
      These turned out really well! Yum! The bottoms did indeed stick to the pot, making the edges crispy but still chewy. With practice, I will hopefully be able to mold the dumplings into shapes that aren’t entirely awful. It’s hard! “I keep taking the test over and over again but I’m all, this is hard!”* So, make, enjoy, toast to Phoebe and her long-term vegetarianism (save while she was preggers), and flip Monica the bird! (But next time we’ll be back to worshiping her.)

*I know we have no current giveaway, but if anyone guesses the source of this, my favorite TV quote/scene ever, I’d be thrilled. 

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