"Once: The Musical" Is Still A Triumph Away From Broadwayby Randi / November 10, 2013
I’m tired of pie crust. That’s right, I said that. That just happened. I’ve made so many lately, going through so much palm-oil-laced Earth Balance, that I presently have no desire to eat any more buttery layers or bake with questionable morals. But it was my dad’s birthday recently, and when I ask him what he wants for his birthday ‘cake’, he always says Boston cream pie. Well, not exactly. He recounts what he would have as a child: a Sara Lee graham crust with “soft, gray chocolate” (ew) layer and white cream on top. I’m not sure that’s a Boston cream pie, and when I made the one from Vegan Pie in the Sky, he said it was nothing like what he remembers (though delicious). So I winged a recipe from scratch and you’ll have to make it now because, like I said, best pie ever. And it’s so easy to make! No weird ingredients, and so much wiggle room with the ingredients.
What’s the secret, you ask? It’s my aforementioned (likely momentary) abhorrence for regular pie crust. Instead of dealing with that nonsense, I altered a batch of my favorite cinnamon sugar cookies and spread the batter into the pie shell. It baked up like nobody’s business, puffing up uncontrollably and amazingly, rising and rising like a souffle. As it cooled, it fortunately sank a little (so I could fit the other components on top), but it was the most delicious and most fun pie crust ever. I see a lot of cookie crusts in my future.
What’s the secret, you ask? It’s my aforementioned (likely momentary) abhorrence for regular pie crust. Instead of dealing with that nonsense, I altered a batch of my favorite cinnamon sugar cookies and spread the batter into the pie shell. It baked up like nobody’s business, puffing up uncontrollably and amazingly, rising and rising like a souffle. As it cooled, it fortunately sank a little (so I could fit the other components on top), but it was the most delicious and most fun pie crust ever. I see a lot of cookie crusts in my future.
This went fast
What about the soft, gray chocolate, you ask? First, I put out of my mind the question of what on earth Sara Lee did to chocolate to give it those qualities. Then, I set about my usual daily activity of melting a pot of dark chocolate, wondering what I could add to it to prevent it from hardening. I needed fat, I knew that, and some milk. For the fat, I used a combination of full-fat coconut milk and Earth Balance, in order to significantly decrease the amount of butter used. I also had to add sugar, because my dad hates dark chocolate. It worked out really well, resulting it a soft, creamy chocolate layer that kept its proper coloring.
As for the top layer, I used silken tofu, a drop of peanut butter for consistency (just enough for a hint of nuttiness but not enough to tell it’s PB, so any nut butter would work), and just a tiny bit of sweetener to offset the very sweet bottom layer and the very rich middle layer. The result was pretty much perfection.
As for the top layer, I used silken tofu, a drop of peanut butter for consistency (just enough for a hint of nuttiness but not enough to tell it’s PB, so any nut butter would work), and just a tiny bit of sweetener to offset the very sweet bottom layer and the very rich middle layer. The result was pretty much perfection.
CINNAMON CHOCOLATE CREAM PIE
Notes: will kick Sara Lee’s soft gray behind
Notes: will kick Sara Lee’s soft gray behind
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FOR THE COOKIE CRUST
Ingredients:
Directions:
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Before cooking, but you can still eat it because no eggs! 
Look how puffy!!! |
IT’S BIG AND BEEYOOOOTIFUL!
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FOR THE CHOCOLATE FILLING
Ingredients:
Directions:
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How many pictures of melting chocolate in this saucepan are on this blog 
Just go ahead and stick your face in it |
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FOR THE WHITE CREAM Ingredients:
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The top cream is thin, so it gets messy, but it’s delicious. A delicious mess. |
Directions:
- Blend it all in a blender until smooth.
- Pour it over the pie and refrigerate for several hours.
Like I said this was amazing. It’s messy, especially if you cut into it before it’s fully set like we did. But we didn’t care because it was sooo good. Hot damn. Go make it!
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Sarajevo Vegan Scene: Zaatar & Co. Restaurant
Zaatar & Co. is one of the few Middle Eastern restaurants in the region. I dumbly expected to find a lot of hummus on this trip, I don’t know why. (Because hummus should be available like water, right?) However, this was the only place I could find it. So, if you’re like me, that should be enough motivation to go here.
Man alive, did we have trouble finding this place. All of the info from Google maps and Happy Cow is WRONG. Like, wrong sections of the city wrong, not just wrong side of the street wrong. The restaurant is actually located just off the main street in the Old Town, across from Caffe Libris and generally behind the Old Synagogue. Luckily, there was a clapboard sign on the main road leading to the alley.
We had such a hilarious time here. First of all, when we walked in, the owner proclaimed, “Bosnia is out of chickpeas.” It was kind of hysterical. She explained that there was something of a chickpea shortage going on, resulting in exorbitant prices, and they were out of them that day. I was on the verge of tears, because it had been almost a week without hummus. Luckily, she checked for me, and found some hummus and falafel stored in the fridge from the day before. Yay!
Man alive, did we have trouble finding this place. All of the info from Google maps and Happy Cow is WRONG. Like, wrong sections of the city wrong, not just wrong side of the street wrong. The restaurant is actually located just off the main street in the Old Town, across from Caffe Libris and generally behind the Old Synagogue. Luckily, there was a clapboard sign on the main road leading to the alley.
We had such a hilarious time here. First of all, when we walked in, the owner proclaimed, “Bosnia is out of chickpeas.” It was kind of hysterical. She explained that there was something of a chickpea shortage going on, resulting in exorbitant prices, and they were out of them that day. I was on the verge of tears, because it had been almost a week without hummus. Luckily, she checked for me, and found some hummus and falafel stored in the fridge from the day before. Yay!
“Bosnia is out of chickpeas”
Carrot soup
I begged her to bring me the hummus and falafel, and then we ordered a bunch more. To start, I ordered carrot ginger soup. It was brothy, not creamy like most carrot ginger soups I had. It was a bit plain but fine, and I was happy to have some sort of vegetable.
Next, she brought us elderflower juice. This was amazing. She said this glass was mixed with some other flowers. The juice was just sweet enough, and really pleasant.
Next, she brought us elderflower juice. This was amazing. She said this glass was mixed with some other flowers. The juice was just sweet enough, and really pleasant.
Elderflower juice |
Hummus, tabbouli, pita |
Falafel and tahini sauce |
Zaatar manakeesh
The hummus and falafel were pretty good, not the best I’ve had but considering I asked for it knowing it wasn’t fresh, it was fine. We also had tabbouli. The herbs seemed really fresh.
The best food we ate, by far, was the zaatar manakeesh, a pizza dough-like flatbread with zaatar spices and olive oil on top. When I was in Jordan, I fell in love with this dish. It’s everything you could want from fluffy dough. Delicious. This version was really hot and the crust was awesome. Want now.
While we ate, the woman was frantically dealing with a million different things – she was on the phone with her supplier (arguing about chickpeas, I assume), doling out assignments to employees, seating customers and discussing the menu, and conducting a job interview with the poor guy sitting near us, waiting nearly throughout our entire meal to talk to her. During all this, she spent considerable time talking to us about her life in Bosnia, her husband, her years spent in America and Asia, and more. I kind of love her.
ZAATAR & CO, Sarajevo
The best food we ate, by far, was the zaatar manakeesh, a pizza dough-like flatbread with zaatar spices and olive oil on top. When I was in Jordan, I fell in love with this dish. It’s everything you could want from fluffy dough. Delicious. This version was really hot and the crust was awesome. Want now.
While we ate, the woman was frantically dealing with a million different things – she was on the phone with her supplier (arguing about chickpeas, I assume), doling out assignments to employees, seating customers and discussing the menu, and conducting a job interview with the poor guy sitting near us, waiting nearly throughout our entire meal to talk to her. During all this, she spent considerable time talking to us about her life in Bosnia, her husband, her years spent in America and Asia, and more. I kind of love her.
ZAATAR & CO, Sarajevo
- Water speed: I had to ask for it a lot, but she was incredibly busy. My standards for water became much, much lower in the Balkans.
- Bathrooms: It’s downstairs, again past the kitchen. I guess that’s common in Bosnia.
- Service: Slow, but worth the comedy.
- Food: Good for lunch.
- Bonus: The owner is a character. Also, once you find it, it’s very convenient to a lot of sights.
Veganizing “Friends”: Phoebe’s Rehearsal Dinner Potstickers
We all know how much I adore Monica, yes? She gets angry in hilarious ways, she loves controlling everything, and she has really shiny hair. I aspire to be like her in most aspects. HOWEVER. Today we’re all about hating Monica. I KNOW!! Bitch needs a slap in the face for changing the food at Phoebe’s rehearsal dinner without the bride’s authorization. It’s worse than it sounds: In “The One With Phoebe’s Wedding”, Phoebe, the bride and a vegetarian, requests vegetarian potstickers be served so she has SOMETHING TO EAT AT HER OWN DINNER. But Monica in full-out bitchface mode commits an unforgivable sin:
Monica: (looking at Phoebe eating something) Pheebs, spit that out, that has pork in it.
Phoebe: Oh! I though the potstickers were supposed to be vegetarian!
Monica: Yeah, I changed them. I sent you a fax about it!
Phoebe: I don’t have a fax machine.
Monica: Ah, well then there are gonna be a few surprises!
F-ing A, Monica! I’m still livid on Phoebe’s behalf. EVERYTHING at a vegetarian’s wedding should be vegetarian! F*** the people who think otherwise. And DOUBLE F*** those people that we all know who don’t think they can go 4 hours without eating meat and think they are entitled to being fed meat at someone else’s wedding. F*** that noise. Obviously, I feel very strongly that if you have a certain way of eating, a party being thrown for you should cater 100% to your desires. It’s extra annoying because, for most restrictions, guests/relatives/strangers on the internet will agree with this…except for veganism. A person with celiac disease should have a gluten-free wedding cake, yes, they agree. A kosher couple should not be forced to wrap bacon around their cantaloupe or whatever people like to wrap bacon around, sure sure. Muslims should be able to have Halal-certified meat, of course (but don’t have meat, please). But when vegans try to have an all vegan wedding (or any event), cue the firestorm of negativity. It makes no sense. (But it is a very good way to weed out the people who you don’t want to waste your time playing with anymore.) Anyway, in honor of the 87 weddings I’ve gone to in the past 2 months, I am making Phoebe her vegetarian potstickers today. And they are going to kick Monica’s scrappy behind.
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VEGETARIAN POTSTICKERS
INGREDIENTS FOR DOUGH:
DIRECTIONS FOR DOUGH:
INGREDIENTS FOR FILLING:
DIRECTIONS FOR FILLING:
DIRECTIONS FOR ASSEMBLY:
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Mixing the dough with a chopstick like an Asian lady told me to 
This is the cabbage I used, obvs from Trader Joe’s 
Rolled out dough, ginger in background 
Cabbage filling 
Cooking in the oily water 
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These turned out really well! Yum! The bottoms did indeed stick to the pot, making the edges crispy but still chewy. With practice, I will hopefully be able to mold the dumplings into shapes that aren’t entirely awful. It’s hard! “I keep taking the test over and over again but I’m all, this is hard!”* So, make, enjoy, toast to Phoebe and her long-term vegetarianism (save while she was preggers), and flip Monica the bird! (But next time we’ll be back to worshiping her.)
*I know we have no current giveaway, but if anyone guesses the source of this, my favorite TV quote/scene ever, I’d be thrilled.
