Sunday Night! Pizza Night! In America! - Al Rokerby Randi / January 20, 2014
You may recall that a few weeks ago, during my first week of P90X3, I was pretty disappointed. The majority of the opening workouts are lackluster and, though certain moves are really hard, I felt that the workouts overall are not hard enough. My trusty PPKers told me that Beachbody considers X3 to be a precursor, and therefore easier, than P90X, which is in turn a precursor/easier than P90X2. If this is true, I’m quite peeved that this wasn’t made clear, because I would have been tempted to get X2. Does anyone have experience with it?
Nonetheless, I am determined to love X3, or at least parts of it, mostly because I missed the full return date while I was traveling. Fortunately, I am in really deep like with a few of them. For the past few weeks, to make up for the workouts that are less than thrilling, I decided to add a few Insanity workouts back in on days when I had extra time. There’s no better cardio in the world, and I think X3 is screaming for more cardio. Even if you add a bit of running or use the elliptical to loosen up first, that’s going to be beneficial. I was traveling for most of the past few weeks, and warming up with a few miles on hotel treadmills really made all the difference in my mind. So, I guess from now on I am doing kind of a hybrid. I am a bit reluctant to give up on pure X3, a decision which will definitely be clouding my results, but 90 days is too long to stop doing what I consider more well-rounded exercises that my body has gotten used to. The following descriptions contain my favorite combinations and order of exercises for Phase 1.
Day 1: Insanity Pure Cardio and X3 Total Synergistics
Even just with less than 2 weeks away from it, my Insanity workout killed me! I was huffing and puffing like I haven’t since more than a year ago. Damn. I felt good after though, and Total Synergistics is slow enough and strength-focused enough to act as a good wrap-up to the cardio workout. It’s really just a few pull-up moves, a few push-up moves, a few ab moves, and a few balance moves. That’s about it. Now, I am finding the final move, Warrior Moon, even more challenging than the first time. It’s pretty amazing. I am excited to improve my balance and quad strength with this move. It’s so hard! You go from a one-legged squat to Half Moon Pose to Warrior 3, and repeat like 8 times. Really hard, really good. While TS is one of the workouts that left me really disappointed, I really enjoy it as an add-on, especially with this final fantastic move.
Day 2: Insanity Cardio Circuit and Agility X
Mmm…maybe not the best two workouts to combine when I think back on it! However, given enough time to spare, I really enjoyed these together. This was quite a difficult combo and made me appreciate Agility X more. I enjoyed the running parts as a way to loosen up my tired legs, much more than I did when they were my only leg workout. But I’m still a little confused about what they are actually doing. Is the grapevine any different from the face-front weaving? Seriously, I can’t tell! Some moves seemed duplicative. I definitely enjoyed it more this week. Those one-legged hops from X-to-X are HARD! How are others doing with the plyometric pushups? Oh I almost forgot: The best thing about doing Agility X after the first time is knowing when to mute Tony’s “regular gym guy” mimicry session.
Day 3: Yoga X (P90X)
Not even a question – if I have time to do Yoga X, I’m going to do it. It’s my favorite yoga video of all time (OF ALL TIME!), but at 93 minutes or so, I don’t get to do it as much as I’d like. After the Day 2 combo, I definitely feel this, and I had to come out of a few (like the extended right angle pose) just to get feeling back into my legs. It was fun to watch this one after learning that Shawna is now Tony’s girlfriend! Was she back in the original X days? So cute! No wonder he always said she was so gorgeous in P90X. (And focused on her flexibility way too much.) Seriously, for people who don’t have the full P90X system, it’s worth buying this DVD as a single.
Day 4: Insanity Cardio Power & The Challenge
Now this combo I love! Cardio Power has arguably the most strength training of all the Insanity workouts – with tricep dips, tricep ball whatevers, shoulder dips, many rounds of pushups – and The Challenge is all upper-body strength. I really liked pairing these two. Soulmates. The Challenge is ridiculous. I’m pretty optimistic that I can’t come out of this program without being able to do an unassisted pull-up. Meanwhile, I’m using a stepstool. Do any of you still use assistance? How do you do it? And Cardio Power is my Insanity nemesis. I hate it – I hate how the warmup includes non-warm-uppy moves like power jacks and vertical jumps – but I love it – I love how perfectly belt kicks chill you out but still keep your heart up after power jumps, and that it builds up your ability to do mountain climbers in plank so well. This combo rocks.
Day 5: CVX
I think CVX is my favorite X3 workout. The moves are very doable but they raise your heart rate more than you expect. Adding a weight or medicine ball makes this video what it is. I think the definition and strength I’ve noticed is due to holding a weight during this workout. I freaking love it. This one suffices on its own. This is the 30-minute workout X3 promised. I do think it needs maybe 3-5 minutes of running in place and jumping jacks as added warm-up and cool-down, but that’s easily added.
Day 6: The Warrior
Again, this is one that I love on its own. In fact, this was my favorite workout to do while I was traveling. The Warrior is perfect to do in small spaces no matter if you are outside on grass, at home on a hardwood floor, or in a corner of a carpeted hotel room. That’s what it was designed for, as Tony tells us he brought it to many military bases. I love the people in this video too. They remind me of Pam the Blam: no nonsense, just kicking ass. Elevator push-ups will continue to pose a challenge, as will those crazy super burpees. I don’t understand how that man in the back gets his legs so freaking high during them. What is happening there? I love it!
Day 7: Dynamix or X Stretch
Dynamix, which I skipped the first week, is a pretty pleasant way to stretch your body out and get blood flowing to your tired muscles. I really dislike the moves (in this and in Cool Start) that have you kneeling on one knee. It doesn’t necessarily hurt my bottom knee, but it doesn’t feel good either, and I can’t help but worry about what that pressure must be doing to other, less healthy knees. Aside from this, Dynamix is nice. That’s seriously the best word for this cool-down style workout. Isn’t that odd? It’s like the exercise equivalent of picking flowers. When time permits, I love to swap X Stretch, from P90X, instead. I always feel wonderful after this hour-long stretch session.
When traveling, I substituted the above Insanity workouts with a half-hour on hotel treadmills. Not the same in the least, but adequate. Actually, I think using the treadmill is mentally more difficult than Insanity workouts. So boring! Time moves so slowly on them. The next few review weeks will be late again, because of traveling and because I was sidelined for a while with the flu. Ugh. I am excited to see what the new videos bring. I hope I love them!
Related Posts
I LOVE CONTENT! All the Thoughts/Things/Theatre I’ve Been Having/Doing/Watching
So it’s been a very long time since I last blogged! These two months have absolutely flown by, and it’s the longest I’ve gone without posting in probably 6 years. WHICH IS NONSENSE. I’m back, mes babies, and as long as my brain stays okay I shant I say SHANT be gone that long again. During this time, we’ve been watching hella content, from all the theatre recordings and livestreams to lots of new TV shows (but not Tiger King; I don’t futz with animal cruelty for fun?) to movies and screeners I’m probably not allowed to talk about yet. You know on 30 Rock when Kenneth says to Pete “I just love television so much” and Pete nods and says “we all do”? I mean if a line of dialogue could define a person, hoo boy.
Some of you know why I haven’t posted in a long time, and it’s not just because the theatres have closed and I’m lost without it. I got sick (before the UK implemented lockdown measures (hooray for countries with ineffectual governments headed by people who look like gross blond puffy twins!)) and it suuuucked. Slash, sucks, because the virus caused some residual effects that haven’t gone away yet. I had probably a mild case, which is hilarious, because it was the worst I ever felt in every way. My experience was like if a really, really uncoordinated squirrel was given a gun and told to shoot at the target, the target being me. Every day, the pain would be in a different random spot, running the gamut of everything a human body can feel. Seriously, name a symptom of anything, and I bet I had 90% of them. Not the Dara O’Briain sort like ‘sudden blindness’ or ‘loss of height’ but almost everything else you can think of. The unpredictability was about as fun as the pain sounds. One constant was the fatigue. That shit was no joke. I thought I knew from tired before since I’m like alwayyys tired but this was like ‘hi I would like to get up to pee but…cannot’ type legit fatigue, where I was actively trying to get my brain to send movement commands to limbs and just failing miserably. But now I am able to put sentences together (enjoy!) again and stay out of bed for most of the day (I do get up at noon most days but that’s by accident, I do not plan to nor want to, so that doesn’t really count…or something).
The crazy thing is, again, this was probably mild. I had to go to the hospital once but they sent me home with meds, and I had to get blood drawn a few times, but that’s it. And I’m like the healthiest goddamn dancer in the American Ballet Academy, who the hell are you, so people who are crying about wearing masks should get in the g-d bin. It doesn’t just affect old people or people with underlying conditions (which is like…suuuper vague and probably 90% of the population has some sort of underlying condition?? what kind of stupid mental gymnastics is this for people to pretend they are not at risk) but even if it was it would still be awful and worth protecting other people, you absolute bellends who don’t think safety precautions or grandma matter because you let your roots look truly atrocious and now you are blaming coronavirus when it’s really just your own preexisting bullshit.
Anyway that’s enough of that. You know I love to overshare on here (hello Mongolia posts) but let’s talk about CONTENT! I LOVE CONTENT! Honestly if I hadn’t been sick, and if my neighbors weren’t rude pieces of 8 who don’t care about the people around them, I’m very lucky that I would be fine with this quarantine. (Oh and if London friends need a small bottle of hand sanitizer or a roll of toilet paper, hit me up, we have some extra and don’t want to be considered a hoarder of anything but beans, beans, the special beans, I let him go but I didn’t know he’d stolen my beanssss.) On that note, I am going to share a few thoughts on the things we’ve watched!
THEATRE
Praise to the powers that be for releasing recordings of live theatrical productions for our entertainment during this time, and praise to the ones who had already had their goodies available online on places like YouTube and BroadwayHD.
Before I get to the specifics, I feel the need to comment on the ongoing discussion of theatre bootlegs, especially given the Patti Murin business from a few days ago. If you don’t follow Broadway stan twitter, well first of all that’s wonderful and I wish I had also gone my life without seeing the truly mind-numbing ‘arguments’ on it. Broadway star Patti said something about how bootlegs would put Broadway out of business if they were ever allowed to reopen. Which is, not true. However, the fact that that is not true does not mean that bootlegs are great wonderful things that should be widely made and disseminated. These are not the only two options in this argument, as, sadly, lots of gen z bway stanz seem to think. Yes, it’s unfair that those of us who don’t live in NYC or have lots of money cannot see every Broadway show every season. Broadway is inaccessible in the grand scheme of things. But we are not entitled to see every Broadway show every season. This isn’t a right of ours. I’m upset that I have missed dozens and dozens of productions I would have loved to have seen since moving out of the tri-state area. It sucks. I would love if they released recordings of, at the very least, productions after they close. But just because I want that doesn’t mean I deserve to have that, or that live theatre productions are required to think about being available to any audience that isn’t live in their theatre.
Obviously, this is even harder for people who don’t live near any live theatre hub, but there are so many productions online already LEGALLY. The feeling of entitlement that we all must have access to every single current production is insane. Not only is it theft, guys, must I remind you of my lauded 2015 Vida Vegan Con presentation called “Stop Breaking the Law, Assholes!”, but every bootleg you watch ruined the experience of another audience member, and probably enraged performers (you are not slick, chief; we all see your phone). My theatre-going experience has been ruined lots of times by people trying to record. The arguments made in favor of bootlegs are like an endless barrage of begged questions. The one with any validity is that theatre can be inaccessible to so many who want to experience it. That is true (though not an excuse for whatever solution you civilian come up with). The funniest thing for me is that the people actually taking the videos are there. They don’t have the ‘but it’s inaccessible!’ argument on their side, so what do they have? A ticket to the Bad Place, I hope.
Also, this pandemic has revealed just how much content is online already. No it’s not all or most of what has played on Broadway or the West End. But it’s something. So people people arguing will make it seem like there’s positively nothing available to them, and that’s not true. Yes we all want more, we all want to see the theatre we missed out on and especially new modern works. And it would be great if producers &c were more forthcoming and forward-thinking about making recordings available at some point, especially for shows that close early. But wanting that to happen isn’t sufficient reason to jump in and fill in the problem with your own solutions, especially when that ‘solution’ is something that everyone involved in this thing you profess to ‘love’, despises.
Maybe, we can hope, that the success and popularity of online recordings will lead to more when things get back to normal. But you aren’t going to get there this way. It’s really quite mind-boggling how growing up with the internet, with everything available to access instantly, has given younger generations this ill-conceived notion of entitlement to every sort of content. The psychology of that is super interesting, and something I’d love to learn more about, but alas, I am not an expert here to school you on that. You know what I *am* an expert in? IP LAW. STOP BREAKING THE LAW, ASSHOLES.
So here is a partial list of all the theatre content we have watched legally recently. I want to emphasize that this is a partial list. I’m not including shows I really disliked because that would just be rude, and I’m not including things lots of you probably watched like last week’s Cats livestream because I thought I had more time (I really dislike that ALW’s drops are only 24 hours in the UK, but 48 for the rest of the world. I HIGHLY DISLIKE THAT THAT RULE CAUSED ME TO MISS THAT SHOW BUT OH WELL, I AM NOT ENTITLED TO SEE THAT JUST BECAUSE I WOULD LIKE TO.) Anyway, my point is, there is SO MUCH to watch. I have a to-watch list a mile long. Tell me again how there’s just nooo way to see anything good legally??
- Into the Woods – The original Broadway production (well with a replacement Cinderella (who is fabulous)) is on YouTube. I KNOW. The more I watch this show, the more I impressed I am. It has some of the most genius lyrics that are also incredibly efficient, like my favorite “careful the things you wish/wishes come true/not free.” THAT’S THE WHOLE THING, wishes are not free. Ugh this show is so good.
- Sunday in the Park with George – The original Broadway production, also on YouTube, was shown on PBS decades ago. I remember my mom, obsessed with Mandy Patinkin, watched it in awe and I was like in single digits but remember watching with her and being like ‘oh theatre is magic, I get it, I’m gonna love this shit’. This show is my happy place, and I watched it a lot while I was stuck in bed. I think ‘Move On’ is my favorite Sondheim song. So deep and so moving and oh my god the choice may have been mistaken the choosing was not??? FUCK ME UP FAM.
- Cyprus Avenue – Speaking of stuff that forking destroys you, this 2016 play starring Stephen Rea did just that but not in a good way. It tricks you into thinking it’s funny but then nooope it is beyond harrowing. Really well done and really effective but my god, I was messed up for days.
- I and You – This production with Maisie Williams at the Hampstead Theatre was not my favorite; in fact, I despised her character with every fiber of my being, so annoying. But the ending was pretty interesting, even if it loses some of it’s power from the coincidence that Maisie’s Game of Thrones castmate did a romcom last year with the exact same twist. Hey, hey that’s joincidence with a c.
- One Man, Two Guvnors – The National Theatre’s worldwide livestreams have been an very welcome addition to the quarantine online viewing, and this is definitely my favorite. We saw this show, with pre-USA-famous James Corden, on Broadway, so to see the London production (the same cast, I believe) was a treat. It’s always fun to note what the two different audiences laugh at. Oliver Chris’s pompous posh boy was one of the funniest performances I have ever, ever seen, and we are still quoting him all the time, yop, yop, yop. It’s almost sad to realize that the hummus bit wasn’t unique to our performance, but THANK GOD the audience member who gets absolutely tortured was in on it.
- Jesus Christ Superstar – ALW’s weekly show drops have been a lot of fun because he is forking insane. His catalogue is as random as my symptom squirrel, but I love it. This one was a great weekend afternoon treat, with a fantastic performance from Tim Minchin as Judas. The music in this show is largely great and fun, and this production’s extra rock concert vibe and setting worked.
- Pride & Prejudice the Musical – This new musical, recording in a regional theatre in California, was SO fun. I absolutely love P&P (who doesn’t) and this was a very pleasant and enjoyable version, although I wish the songs were more memorable. We watched the full 100 hour Colin Firth miniseries soon after, so worth it, although I think I prefer the Keira movie!
- Jane Eyre – Okay so this play from the National is long, but it is very effective. I hated the horse noise interludes, but that is in large part due to how absolutely horrendous the sound quality on YouTube is, with the dialogue being too quiet but the horse noises shaking our walls. I found the lead performance very moving and wonderful.
- Bandstand – The Playbill.com paid release of this exquisite 2016 Broadway show solidified that it’s one of my favorites, even though it makes me cry literally the entire time. You can search ‘bandstand’ at the top of this page to read my review from back then so I won’t go into all the details now, but man alive it is perfection. HOT DAM COREY COTT. Why this was a short-term release is beyond me, especially if it’s paid, just keep making that bank guys and leave it up.
- Beardo – Okay so we ABSOLUTELY ADORE Dave Malloy, especially when his work is super weird (always), but this was probably his weirdest show yet. It was enjoyable and the music my god I LOVE that he has such a recognizable sound. But it was so f-ing weird.
- Drawing the Line – This play from the Hampstead Theatre about how India and Pakistan were divided by British buffoons was interesting, if not my favorite or the most exciting show.
- Phantom of the Opera – ALW dropped the Sierra Boggess – Ramin Karimloo version, and Sierra is my favorite Christine so I was happy that his was husbo’s first full-length exposure to this BONKERS show. I love it. The music is so good and the story is so batshit, god ALW you one crazy mufucka.
- Love Never Dies – I had heard that this sequel to Phantom was bonkerballs as well, and it was not. It was actually quite tame compared to the original, with only one generally memorale/good song. I enjoyed it, actually, but I wanted more batshit besides how awful they made Raoul. It is quite an accomplishment, however, that they made him so bad that you actually root for Christine to be with the crazy deformed murderer guy, did everyone forget that he was a murderer?
- The Arrest of Ai Weiwei – this was ANXIETY ON A STICK, jfc. The Chinese government, woof. I guess that means it was hella effective and successful.
- Frankenstein (Jonny Lee Miller as the Creature) – I love that the National released both version of this acclaimed production, with JLM and Bandersnatch Cummerbund switching roles of the doctor and his creature. This was some heavy, dark shit, and wow, it was AMAZING. I loved JLM as the creature because he was so sympathetic and even though he pulls a Phantom and starts a-murdering, you feel for him. (Thanks Cadry for that tip!)
- By Jeeves – This was hilariously painful, ALDubs. Not even Donna Lynne Champlin saved this for me. However, I’m sharing it because if you are a) British or b) a fan at all of PG Wodehouse, you will enjoy this. I am technically #a but not really, and apparently defffffinitely not #b.
- Sea Wall -This 30 minute monologue written for and performed by Andrew Scott is on YouTube if you want to get tricked into thinking it’s fun to watch the Hot Priest do something new to you but then somehow start bawling and feeling sick with grief for a fictional person, so.
- Legally Blonde – Back when MTV did the reality show “The Search for Elle Woods” (inferior to the amazing “Legally Brown” search for the new piragua guy) to find the Broadway cast’s new star, they shared this proshot of the original production, which is on YouTube. It is such a fun show, with the BEST opening number (hello Annaleigh Ashford you queen). However, be warned that the MTV audience was very much the precursor to the NBC/ABC live musical event audiences where the producers aparrently tell them ‘just scream and shout and wooo as much as you possible can! it’ll be great!’ it is not great.
- Shrek – The proshot of the original Broadway production is on Netflix for most of the world, but luckily for those of us in the UK, it’s also on Amazon to rent for £3.49. One of the most surprising shows with a wonderful score, Shrek will fill you with joy and make you cry at how moving Brian D’arcy James is and how jealous even Eugene Levy would be of his eyebrows.
- Oh, Hello – This may be the most I ever paid for a show in person (and we took my brother too, and it was the hardest we’ve ever laughed maybe, oh my god they are geniuses) but I still am giddy over getting this free on Netflix (well free after Netflix costs). Jon Mulaney and Nick Kroll are sick geniuses. I’ve been listening to their new Oh, Hello p’dcast where they…talk about Princess Diana and it is just as ridic and hilarious as it sounds, I adore them.
- Newsies – Available to rent on Amazon, this recording of the original Broadway cast is a joy. You get Jeremy Jordan and you get the most gymnastic choreography Broadway maybe ever saw, what more could you want? I saw this standing room, so this is one online experience I think I prefer (sooo funny to be like ‘ow my feet and back hurt’ when you are watching boys do like, 1000 backflips on newspapers).
- West Side Story – The classic movie version, the absolute best, is on Netflix. I still cry a whole forking lot it’s so damn wonderful.
- South Pacific – The 1958 movie was on TV here on my birthday! What a treat! It’s also on Amazon! Mitzi Gaynor is no Kelli O’Hara but it’s still pretty great!
- Hello, Dolly! – The Barbra Streisand version is on Amazon people. Helloooooo Dolly welcome into my hoooooome Dolly.
- Oklahoma! – we saw the new dark Broadway production last year and fell head over heels for it, it was so flipping amazing. This original movie is much lighter but a great watch, on Amazon.
- Pippin – The original Broadway production from 1981 is on Amazon, what are you EVEN DOING if you aren’t watching it.
- Eugenius – This sweet and clever London musical about a teen who writes comics about superheroes is on YouTube. I really enjoyed this show in London and I’m so glad they are making it available online. So fun!
- Passing Strange – On YouTube to buy or rent, this Broadway show from Stew was compelling and unique. I don’t think I appreciated it when I saw it live, so it’s a treat to reexamine and reexperience it.
- Miss Saigon -The 2016 West End 25th Anniversary Gala performance is on Amazon, with Eva Noblezada as Kim. She is. Forking. Amazing.
- 21 Chump Street – a 20 minute musical written by Lin-Manuel? Yes please. Free on YouTube and worth the extremely short time commitment, even if you will be angry because ACAB.
- Take Me to the World: Sondheim’s 90th Birthday Celebration – I have watched this YouTube tribute at least 500 times in the past few weeks. I wasn’t even a huge fan of Melissa Errico or Elizabeth Stanley before but after hearing their versions of “Children and Art” and “The Miller’s Son”, respectively, I would kill for them.
- Smash Reunion Concert – I’m sure I will watch this one 500x as well. Here’s the link!
A lot of these were available for years before the pandemic. There are dozens of productions out there, at least. Many more than most people get to see live in their lifetimes. Tell me again how there’s nothing??
I’ve also watched 10 or so full Tony Awards broadcasts from the previous century, it’s so fun. Audra still dominates, what a ledge. They used to wait to applaud each announced nominee until all 4-5 were announced, SO POLITE. But that stopped about the same time they started playing off every speech after only 8 seconds. It’s really fun to watch how the awards show changed, from a calm polite event with little intro speeches from like Bernadette to the raucous energy parades of like NPH jumping through a hoop while singing. LOVES IT.
I’ve obviously watched even more television and movie content, which I will share in a separate post since this, as per my uzh, is Quite Long. What have you watched? I want to know! I want to talk about theatreeee it’s my favorite thing to do! Is there anything on my list that you didn’t know about and are going to watch? dooo itttt.
Voting with Your Dollar: 3 More Co’s on My Naughty List, Plus Thoughts on Cashless Businesses
This is #2 in the Vote With Your Dollar series in which I ruin things you probably love, and I’m sorry, but like, the world is a mess and we should try to do better. Every other Friday I’ll be here ruining stuff for you!
Today we are discussing three more businesses across vegan food and clothing/commerce I will not support: Papa John’s Pizza, Wayfair home goods, and Forever 21 cheap ass clothing. I’ve also got some thoughts on the hottest trend in capitalism: cashless businesses.
Papa John’s Pizza
I have been vegan for 11 years now, so those of you who are likewise not baby vegans can appreciate how difficult it was when we were just starting out all those years ago. Remember those vegan ‘cheeses’ that were probably made of cardboard? Remember making your own almond milk (out of necessity and not preference)? Remember getting a dry portabella mushroom on a bun with an enormous roasted red pepper whenever you deigned to go to a restaurant? Suffice it to say, being vegan nowadays, especially in big cities like London, is unbelievably easy and fun and exciting. What new incredible product will be released today? What restaurant will announce a fantastic new vegan option today? What new vegan soft-serve can I find? It never ends!
However exciting all these developments are, not all of them are good. I don’t mean tasting; I’m sure they all taste good. But something being ‘vegan’ isn’t enough to warrant our support. The company has to not be an asshole, at MINIMUM. I think that’s a pretty good rule! It’s hard to enforce consistently, but that’s what I’m here to help with and I hope you’ll help me too: figuring out which companies are decent and which are Papa John’s. Oh, today’s Vegan Food I Don’t Support and You Can Decide on Your Own I’m Not Telling You Not to Patronize Them I’m Just Telling You What I Do is Papa John’s and their newish vegan pizza options. Listen. I’m sure it’s delicious. Well no, it is Papa John; I’m sure it’s edible. And I remember how sad it was to not find good vegan pizza for like, years! I get it! Pizza is the best food on the planet and you shouldn’t have to stop eating it as a vegan!
But there’s no reason to have to choose Papa John. First of all, in London?? We have incredible vegan pizza options all over the city, including Purezza (man alive!), Picky Wops (what a name), even all the big chains like Voodoo Ray’s and Pizza Union and Basilico have vegan options. There are dozens of veg-friendly pizza joints all over the city I haven’t even been to yet! There’s a tiny shop that just opened around the corner from me that has vegan cheese! It’s EVERYWHERE. I have no reason to get Papa John’s when there’s all this actually good vegan pizza all over the place.
BUT, even if these other options didn’t exist, I still wouldn’t. Sure, that’s because I make my own really excellent pizza (Imah half eye-tal I gotta that spicy meataball in my bloodah), but also because this guy John? He ain’t my papa. He sucks.
John Schnatter, former CEO and founder of Papa John’s, is a long-time republican which sure used to just mean white businessman but now means an active racist, sexist, homophobe, anti-Semite, anti-everything good pretty much little fucker. Don’t believe me? He donated to the Cheeto Mussolini campaign. He spoke out against Obama and the Affordable Care Act, and famously stated that if he was forced to pay for the ACA and give his employees healthcare, his pizza prices would go up a certain number of measly cents. (To which the sensible world responded, “you mean you could be giving your employees g-d health insurance if you just charged 8c more???!!” and rightly boycotted.)
Then, he was loudly on the wrong side of history during the NFL protest controversy. And while he did resign as CEO after his use of the n-word on that matter came to light, this is still the business he founded, and a company is built on the ethos of its founder. I would guess that his viewpoints and beliefs are reflected at all levels of management within this company. No founder, or CEO, or racist, exists in a vaccum. Also, John still retains a stake in the company, obviously, since he founded it, and he is worth more than ¾ of a BILLION dollars. So, like, fuck that.
Wayfair Furniture
Moving is the worst, decorating a new home can be frustrating, and finding affordable but still stylish furniture is a nightmare. That’s why online home giant Wayfair has become such a successful brand. But fuck them. Wayfair may have sold that adorable side table and pineapple lamp to your friend from work, but you know who else they sold furniture to? The detention facilities at the U.S. Mexico border. Wayfair is in a partnership with the monsters running these concentration camps, and for that reason, I cannot support them.
As you may have heard, Wayfair employees recently walked out on the job to protest the company’s sales of furniture to the border detention camps. The employees involved first wrote a letter asking that the company refrain from such sales. The CEO rejected this request, naturally, because the kind of person who aids concentration camps is not the kind of person who cares about what some of his employees have to say.
You might be thinking, well the migrant kids that the U.S. government doesn’t care if they kill have to sleep somewhere! And maybe, if the Wayfair corporate leadership had said that what’s happening is atrocious but their aim was to provide beds to make this horrible experience a little easier for the children, then that would be something else. Or maybe they could have sold the furniture and donated all the profits to charity! (LIKE SO OBVIOUS.) At least maybe some of them could be said to have good intentions. But do you know what statement the leadership team made? They said that they “believe in the importance of respecting diversity of thought within the organization and our customer base. No matter how strongly any one of us feels about an issue, it is important to keep in mind that not all employees or customers agree.” So they basically said, just because some of you easily replaceable employees don’t like that people are dying in concentration camps doesn’t mean we all do, so we have to respect the views of our fellow workers who LOVE the camps. I mean. And then of course they said as a retailer, their practice is to sell their goods to anyone operating within the laws of the USA. So you know, it doesn’t matter what’s right or wrong or just, it just matters that the people in charge of deciding what’s legal or not have determined that this particular atrocity, as with many they’ve created, is ‘legal’. Cool cool cool.
So obviously Wayfair is now on my list, as is anyone and everyone who supports the concentration camps. If you’re thinking ‘but maybe people shouldn’t immigrate illegally!!’ or ‘if they didn’t want their children taken from them and put in cages then they should have thought of that before’ or ‘but it’s a corporation that needs to make money and if they didn’t sell the beds someone else would have’ then please leave a comment with your contact info so I may persuade you to get psychiatric help and/or turn off Fox News. If you’re thinking, ‘darn, that sucks, but I can’t support them anymore either if they are supporting these ICE facilities’, then congratulations, you’re a decent person and you’ll be okay without their products. Also, as far as I know Ikea is still run by magical unicorn people who love us all.
Forever 21
I know, at this rate there will be no more fast-fashion brands who are destroying the earth with their cheap production methods and their overuse of resources left for us to shop at! Forever 21 was a last-minute entry to this post, as just a few days ago I learned about their sooooo-fun new trick of sending free Atkins diet bars inside online orders. At first, it appeared that only those who had ordered plus size clothes received the diet bars – which is so unbelievably evil and straight-up rude that it’s entirely believable for this bleak ass world right now. Fortunately (?), the bars were included in online orders across the board, not just in plus-size orders, so they weren’t being totally snide mean girls all like ‘you should rully try one of these barssss also thanks for giving us your moneyyyyy!’ I mean I’m sure they still were, but at least to everyone. (Do they just want all their customers to lose weight?)
But even if it wasn’t targeted harassment at plus-size customers (I feel it necessary to reiterate they were treating paying customers like this, for fork’s sake), it’s still absolute bullshirt to include diet bars that no one asked for inside otherwise unrelated and innocuous purchases. I’m sure they don’t care if a customer had an allergy to any of the ingredients. But I know for sure they don’t care if they are sending diet products to people with disordered eating histories or body insecurity – and given, um, statistics and facts, many of the women who received this ‘gift’ fall into those categories. Here, wear our clothes and also lose weight! What a great idea! It’s not just ill-considered and rude; it’s disrespectful. It assumes, as most of the world does, that weight loss is a universal goal, and an always-positive one. Obviously, the lads over at corporate didn’t think this through, or if they did, they really don’t care about women.
Also WHO is still partnering with forking Atkins? Is it 2003 again? Go fork yourself. Also your clothes are crap.
Cashless Businesses
A friend of mine recently said that he was on a mission to no longer support cashless businesses. Since London seems to be going all cashless lately and I am very aware of le crime, I was like but why? Isn’t it easier and safer and faster and just funner? (I didn’t say that.) Going cashless may help businesses thwart off potential robbers, I guess, but a) that’s not actually an enormous problem to begin with and b) the real result is turning away a significant portion of the community. Cashless businesses disenfranchise part of our population that is already incredibly vulnerable: homeless people, migrants, poor people in general who are unbanked. Not everyone has a bank account! Not everyone has access to a contactless card that makes you feel like you aren’t even spending any money because you just have to lightly tap it against the payment screen and then you’re done and it’s like whaaat was this all free? IT WASN’T. YOU’RE PRIVILEGED. As so many of our cities gentrify at alarming rates, these businesses are basically defining the clientele they want, and it doesn’t include everyone. And that’s bullshirt.
Now that I know it’s bullshirt, I’ve been doing my best to avoid patronizing businesses that don’t accept cash. It’s a tiny little action, and it probably doesn’t do anything, but aren’t most of these little protests just acts of solidarity anyway? With London being on the fast track to complete cashlessness, it’s been difficult. Just last week, Husbo and I had lunch in Canary Wharf, as we frequently do because of work, and when we went to pay, I noticed it was card only. SHIIIIIT, I said to Husbo. It’s cashless! I’m supposed to be boycotting these places! But then Husbo pointed out that we were literally in Canary Wharf – an entire little city built by banks, for banks. Of course this was a cashless place; the entire place – filled with endless underground malls – exists for bankers. Trying to support the unbanked sector of the community in Canary Wharf is literally nonsense.
But that kind of brings me to the point of all of this: you have to do what makes sense, for you and for the message you’re trying to send. This extends to veganism in general too: Sure we’d all love everyone to be vegan, but not everyone is able to, so let’s all do the best we can, and act within reason. That’s kind of the purpose of this series, after all.
If you missed the first in this series, you can find it at this link. I managed to ruin food, clothing, and musical theatre in one post!
