The Best Wedding Ever, slash How to Plan a Vegan Wedding in Less Than Two Months
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Happy New Years! Reflections on 2017’s Less Important Happenings!
Issyk-Kul and Fairytale Canyon, Kyrgyzstan
I had a lot of fun days this past year, mostly because we traveled SO MUCH. But one in particular comes to mind. Day 4 of our tour through Kyrgyzstan was my favorite because fun things just kept coming at us! We made our favorite piece of art; we explored the amazing Fairytale Canyon; we went swimming in Issyk-Kul lake; we had a nice time in a guest house; I got to shower and pee indoors. Great success! Click on the link to read all about it and see all the many pictures! (Obviously I’m not counting days where I sat on a couch with my doggie or played with my nephew that wouldn’t be fair to the others.)
Most amazing sights
3. The Alhambra in Granada. It was hot as balls and took days to see (not days) but it was so worth it. What an amazing place.
2. Honestly I’m forgetting a lot – we saw A LOT of shit this summer – so what immediately comes to mind is the Monte Palace Tropical Gardens in Funchal, Madeira. I was so surprised at how much I loved this place and how peaceful it felt. It’s not as famous or as recommended as the other Botanical Gardens in town, but it’s 100x better – and so much bigger! You could get lost in there for a whole day.
Nanxun was such a surprise! We stopped at this little-known (and little) water town outside Shanghai because we wanted to see a water town and heard this was nice. I didn’t expect to completely adore this gorgeous place! I mean we know I like water but this water town was on a whole other level. Amazing!
Favorite hotel
Come on! Is there any question? I wuv you Fraser Suites Chengdu! I wuv you!
The best thing I ate, Savory Edition, was my dinner at Jujubeetree Vegetarian Lifestyle in Chengdu. This is where I ordered a dish that sounded super gross and still have no idea how or why that happened, but it was some otherworldly magic that made me do it because it was the best dish oh my goddd and the best meal in all of China, which has the best food in all the world (at least where I went this past year) and now I want Sichuan food.
Best dessert
Oh man, the tahini milkshake from Goldiein Philadelphia is insaaaaaane! It is like liquid halva (but not too liquid – they know real milkshakes need to be thick!). It’s so amazing that I tried to recreate it, and I did a decent job which you can find the recipe for at the above link. I’m also fo sho making it tonight to ring in the new year!
“How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying”
This tiny little production at Wilton’s Music Hall – not exactly the West End – put on one of the best productions of the year, mostly because of its attention to detail and its milking of every single possible drop of humor from the script. It was hilarious and so well done.
Most fun at the theatre in New York
“Once On This Island”
I can’t believe I knew so little about Once On This Island before seeing the new Broadway revival, but I am in deep now. It was so delightful and I was enraptured, on the edge of my seat and forgetting everything except what was going on in the sand pit in front of me. This glorious show deserves a long run…and with my main man Norm Lewis joining the cast soon, it deserves repeat visits! I cannot wait for the cast album. I imagine my 2018 will be spent listening to it nonstop.
Funniest Things of 2017
3. I’m a terrible person I know and I still crack up at all the tee shirts I saw in China, and so many of the signs, especially the fake New Balances that don’t know what they want to be. Loves it! (at end of post)
2. “The Good Place” Season 2
I had NO IDEA how they would move on from that killer ending of season 1, just really no idea, so it’s good I’m not writing for this show because they moved on and it’s even better than it was before. Such geniuses! Every episode has like five quotes that have become permanent fixtures of my daily speech, and if I wanted to keep typing with my arms that end in stupid sticks, I would say more, especially because I have no idea what’s going on but everyone is talking and I think I should too. But nothing beats this product of the genius of all geniuses, Megan Amram, as she shared all her ideas for the ever-changing food places in the neighborhood. CAMEMBERT-BIE LET’S GO PARTY????? HAHHHHHHHH!
Who would have thought this disgustingly raunchy cartoon about kids going through puberty would be the funniest thing ever? Oh it’s from Nick Kroll? And has Maya Rudolph and John Mulaney and JASON MANTZOUKAS?? Yeah, it’s the funniest thing ever. So gross, so inappropriate, and so f-ing genius. Below is my favorite song, courtesy of the goddess among us mortals, Maya Rudolph.
3. “Bandstand”
I loved this sweet, sad, so important show. It was too good to close as quickly as it did, too special, but luckily we have a cast album and it’s fantastic. Corey Cott and Laura Osnes sound impeccable on their big numbers, and all the emotion that overwhelmed in the theatre is just as strong. I cry just as hard listening to it as I did watching it, and that’s pretty special.
2. “The Band’s Visit”
Holy crap, I have not been able to listen to any other music for the past few weeks, since this album was released. David Yazbeck has created such a lovely, quiet yet gripping masterpiece. Every day I have a new favorite song: Yesterday it was Papi Hears the Ocean, Thursday it was Welcome to Nowhere (that line about Jews OMG), and today is Answer Me. But every day features at least 10 plays of Omar Sharif and Something Different, because the genius of Katrina Lenk, a force of nature in the theatre, shines just as bright on the recording. The emotion here, the humanity, ugh it’s all so good and so wonderful that they were able to capture it.
1. “Natasha, Pierre, and the Great Comet of 1812″
My biggest regret of 2017 was not appreciating this show’s brilliance when I got to see it. Actually, I saw it at the very end of 2016, so that’s my big regret of 2016…ACTUALLY, no my biggest regret of 2016 was not locking the people I knew were going to vote for Trump in their homes so they couldn’t vote. Okay that’s not very democratic, to keep people from voting – that’s something republicans like doing. I should have helped drive more people to vote or register or something. Okay I can’t think about that right now, this is supposed to be about fun distractions not sadnesses. So my big frivolous-item regret of 2017 was not seeing this amazing show again before it closed prematurely. But about that first thing- I really didn’t appreciate this show when I saw it, like a fool LIKE A FOOL. There was so much going on, and a lot of the music is hard to love on first listen. The absolute mind-blowing genius of Dave Malloy’s score can only be realized once you are actually familiar with it, so this cast album is not only my favorite and the best, but it’s also the most important and necessary. If people listened to this a few times (maybe ten) and learned all the amazing lyrics and orchestrations and all the genres referenced, they would have enjoyed the show more in person and maybe it would have lasted longer. I don’t know, but I know I would have enjoyed it more and appreciated how incredible it is. Thank goodness we are blessed with this original Broadway cast album AND the original original cast album from downtown, with Phillipa Soo as Natasha and Dave Malloy, the composer, as Pierre. I prefer the Broadway version – I think some of Denee Benton’s fun and effective choices as Natasha really come through and it’s exciting to hear, and of course there’s my Joshy G – but it’s interesting to hear the differences in the interpretations of character and the lyric changes that occurred over the years. Both are great, but the important thing is that this show is AMAZING. Was. Tear. (Please come to London maybe they will appreciate you more.)
I want “Once On This Island” to last at least until the Tony Awards and I hope it gets recognized for how genius it is.
I want Katrina Lenk to keep up her momentum for Best Actress because, although I haven’t seen the powerhouse performances to come (I mean we have a Julie Jordan and an Eliza Doolittle coming…and that’s without talking about Frozen or Mean Girls jfc this season is packed), so far she more than deserves it. She’s magicked.
Also most of all I need to see the above mentioned new shows coming! Ahhhh Jessie Mueller in Carousel??? With Joshua Henry??? I faint.
Travel hopes
I hope we don’t get heat stroke in Australia. (P.s. we’re going to Australia! IN FEBRUARY. It’s gonna be so hot!). Even more than that I hope we don’t get bitten by all the thousands of millions of deadly animals in Australia.
REAL NEEDS
GIMME AN I! GIMME AN M! GIMME A P! GIMME AN E! GIMME AN A! GIMME A C! GIMME AN H! (DID I SPELL THAT RIGHT?) also please send all of them to jail. ALL OF THEM.
Come on 2018!!! Be good to us!
Which TV characters did Veganuary and which ones are sticking with it?
Last month was another phenomenal Veganuary, with hundos of thousos of people pledging to avoid animal products for all of January. Now that it’s over and the groundhog did something and time can go back to having no meaning, we can review who among our most special friends – TV characters – took the challenge and why, and who will try to continue the vegan pledge into whatever clock land we’re in now.
Speaking of clock lands, we’ll start with the greatest show of all time, obviously, because if you know me at all you knew that’s what I was gonna start with.
THE GOOD PLACE
I like to think my man Chidi “I knew you weren’t a soup!” Anagonye knew enough/worried enough about doing the right thing to be vegan already. (Evidence: he drank almond milk – was it because he knew cow’s milk was a no-no??) He said he was a vegetarian and at a restaurant with Uzo he was conflicted between the risotto and the pumpkin soup, two common and lackluster vegan options at non-vegan restaurants. (Not knocking either dish; that’s just not what we go to restaurants for.) But if not (he was shown in flashbacks to eat cheese; hopefully they were flashwaybacks (although then he ate fish in the afterlife)), he would probably be excited to join in the Veganuary challenge. He’d probably greet it with a trademark excited “OooOOoooh!” that he debuted during his chillaxed (that’s a combination of ‘chidi’ and ‘relax’ I just made up) period in season 4. He’d definitely be that excited about vegan food and not just scavenger hunts that tell you the meaning of life!
However, Cheedster would undoubtedly and unfortunately treat his vegan stint as though it was a Lenten fast, with no allowance for enjoyment or indulgence. He’d do it like Michael McKean’s grown-up Doug Forcett, with all lentils and radishes because they have the lowest carbon footprint and no chicken-fried seitan or vegan cupcakes, the poor bastard. And so it wouldn’t stick, because who would be able to maintain such a virtuous, boring diet? So Chidi would make it to January 31, because he would beat himself up to stay with it, and then he would try to do the best he can afterwards (until he dies). That almond milk though!
STAR TREK: LOWER DECKS
I am really enjoying this animated Trek comedy so far! Most of the characters are likable (not the captain; literally the most incompetent captain in Starfleet history) with great voice performances (shout out to my fave pillboi Eugene Cordero). It’s hilarious to have a Star Trek that’s a comedy, a cartoon, and full of cursing and ridiculousness. It’s also fun to pretend it’s a weird space spin-off of the most infuriating shitshow I’ve ever been forced to watch, ‘Below Deck’, because I keep referring to it as Star Trek: Below Deck even though the characters aren’t evil simpletons who can’t make a reasonable argument if their tip depended on it. But I guess an advanced starship (Janeway voice (I do it so good): ‘we’re a starrrrrship’) is kind of like a luxury yacht, right?
My choice for Veganuary participant is Beckett Mariner, not because she cares about animals but because someone mentioned it in passing and said it would probably be hard, and she took it as a dare and was like ‘YOU WANNA SEE HARD, HARD’S GONNA BE HOW MUCH MY SUCCESS ON FEBRUARY 1st HITS YOU IN THE GODDAMN FACE WHEN YOU SEE HOW AMAZING I DID.’ Mariner makes me sooo anxious and uneasy with all her chaotic energy and NOT FOLLOWING THE RULES but I can’t deny that she’s an awesome badass. And considering the replicators can make all kinds of amazing things, it’s probably super easy on the ship, so I am gonna take the very unsteady position and say she’d stick with it. Also, she’s always right (okay she may have misplaced the target on the back of the person inhabited by a parasite in episode 4 but she still knew a parasite was around!) so I refuse to believe that she wouldn’t be right about the right way to eat. (Okay but query whether all replicated food is vegan by default because no animals are used or harmed by space machines…? Perhaps the closest analogy would be lab-grown meat…which I still wouldn’t consider vegan…okay Ima need someone to do their masters thesis on this subject.)
PARKS & RECREATION
The obvious choice would be Chris Traeger, literally a famous health freak. It seems like a no-brainer to assume that he would jump in with literally both feet and WIN Veganuary. But it truly would be a no-brainer, as in something you’d think if you had no brain (change approved!). If I asked Chris Traeger to go vegan for a month, Chris would hundo p give me the biggest smile and say “my diet is perfect! I’ve honed it over years to provide the perfect amount of nutrients to keep my body in tip-top shape! To change it would be a crime against humanity.” And then he would turn on his heel and go run 10 miles to perish the thought of changing his routine.
And so the real Veganuarier of the P&R department would be…Leslie Knope. Of course it’s Leslie. It’s something popular that she will do to try to connect to the public and improve her image. But like everything she tries for those reasons, it will backfire. Of course HER public will use it as a weapon against her to call her an elitist that isn’t of the people. Ugh, if only she was a politician in Eagleton – they are all definitely doing Veganuary (well, by default, since a month-long post-NYE green juice cleanse is technically vegan). Leslie would barely eke out the final weeks before her polling numbers required her to be photographed at Paunch burger eating a Greasy Lard Bomb (their best-seller!) and drinking a child-sized soda (it’s roughly the size of a two-year-old child if he were liquefied).
THE MANDALORIAN
lolol definitely not my little spider-eating larvae-eating friends-baby-eating lizard-eating everything-he-can-get-his-lil-baby-hands-on cutest little adorable baby yodibear, that’s for sure!
GILMORE GIRLS
I’m pretty sure Gilmore Girls is full of vegan jokes (or maybe it was just Sookie complaining about cooking for vegetarians – my dude, if you can’t cook for vegetarians, you aren’t a talented chef) because much as I love her work, ASP is kind of a b word. I can’t see any of the original cast ever seriously entertaining veganism, at least not in the early 2000s. But doing so now is a different story, and I can see modern Paris realizing it’s the right way forward. Maybe I can even see college Paris doing it, college Paris who cared about Burmese political prisoners. If she truly was preoccupied with the plight of the less fortunate – which she really may have been since she was no longer doing stuff just to get into Harvard – then she would care about social justice. And once you care about social justice you can’t ignore the role veganism plays in it! When she realizes that true veganism is intersectional and important in the fight against all the -isms, Paris would be firing on ALL cylinders trying to spread the vegan message like she’s been doing it for years, as all new vegans do. I can see her chasing Rory down the halls of Yale screaming HOW COULD YOU KNOW ABOUT THE EFFECTS OF ANIMAL AGRICULTURE ON THE CLIMATE AND NOT EVEN ATTEMPT TO GO VEGAN RORY, IT’S LIKE YOU WANT ME TO YELL AT YOU ALL THE TIME.
Side note, Paris – who hates the sick, who makes everything an argument and wins it – should have been a lawyer, not a doctor. Makes no sense.
BRIDGERTON
Ah Bridgerton, Netflix’s biggest show, everyone’s favorite obsession, is such a pleasant, enjoyable show for something that is objectively not great. I know lots of you just gasped in anger and are like ‘excuse me it IS great’ but remove the hot duke and focus on the strings of plot that were dangled into relevance and then snipped before they could be made to make sense and tell me that to my face. Excuse me WHY was the modiste acting like it was her (you know what I’m talking about)? WHY was the artist man introduced to Brother #2 if nothing was going to happen there (string! snipped!)? WHY did ANYTHING in the Papa Featherington storyline happen?! I mean seriously WOOF on that last one. How did they get Julie Andrews to do this, my loooord. Anyway, not that anyone in this era would stop eating meat or anything, but if veganism was a thing and they could eat vegetables without dying, I bet on Eloise, and not only because she’s the only likable character. Okay yeah maybe because she is the only likable character. What can I say, she’d be fun to hang out with at a vegan cafe. Also, she thinks for herself and has strong opinions about what’s right and what’s wrong. A perfect baby vegan!
WEST WING
I’m watching the West Wing for the first time (I know you can’t believe it) and I am so obsessed already. But listen, although I LOVE love all the characters, I also kind of hate them all at times. That Sorkin, he just loves him some shoehorning in of political ‘points’ that he thinks are like wow deep but they are so easily refuted that it gets kind of annoying. But overall love love. Okay so anyway, thanks to the aforementioned Sorkinizing of great characters, over the 3-4 seasons I’ve seen so far, they’ve all lost their ability to claim a strong social-justice head on any pair of shoulders. So no one is getting chosen for that. But as far as being ‘with it’ in terms of hot social trends (that’s us!) and popular culture, no one beats my girl Donnatella Moss. Husbo finds Donna annoying but I forking adore her. So I put my money on her doing Veganuary. She would get zero support from the rest of the staff. Okay maybe a little from Charlie because he’s the absolute best but he would make some really good subtle snarky comments amid his overall support. Josh would endlessly mock her. (Josh is kind of awful to her so far and it le breaks le heart.) Leo would completely not care. President Barlet, who loves the Butterball hotline more than he loves his kids, would not see the point. Toby would monotone grump at her about it. Sam would be whatever but like his Parks & Rec counterpart would already think he’s too good to need to make any changes. (I firmly believe Mike Schur saw the season 1 West Wing scene where Sam says “I’m nuts for dental hygiene” and thus was born Chris Traeger. He is the early version of that man for sure.)
Unrelated: Stockard Channing’s singsongy delivery is the greatest gift. She sounds like the 1940s optometrist in that joke. It’s fantastic.
LUPIN
OOH LA LA Lupin est un si beau spectacle oui oui oui! J’aime tellement Omar Sy et son enfant est amusant (omg cette fin cependant) et la supercherie est magnifique! Oui oui oui! Je peux voir beaucoup de personnages essayer le véganisme puisque le Paris moderne est plutôt bon pour ça (il faut juste une bonne baguette pour vivre de toute façon!). Mon premier choix pour Veganuary est la journaliste, Fabienne Beriot, non seulement parce qu’elle avait le chien le plus incroyable (J’accuse! Amoureuse des animaux!) Mais parce qu’elle était le GRAND genre de journaliste – la GUERRIÈRE DE LA JUSTICE SOCIALE qui découvre la vérité! Oui oui oui oui! Elle ferait ‘totes’, oui oui oui. Ugh, Fabienne.
Okay mes petits babies, what are your choices?