Current Broadway Production of "Cabaret" A Must-See If You Are Humanby Randi / November 12, 2014
One of the funniest shows in London this fall was not “Urinetown” or “The Book Of Mormon” or, god forbid, “Miss Saigon”, but the show that mocked them all. It was “Forbidden Broadway”, a revue that hilariously, terribly ridicules many of the shows currently playing the West End and had its audiences crying with laughter. Including me. Sadly, it closed yesterday, but its successful and critically beloved run promises the return of future incarnations here.
“Forbidden Broadway” is an NYC off-Broadway institution that has been skewering Broadway shows since 1982. That is before I was even born! Gerard Alessandrini started the riotous, biting revue to mock his beloved musical theatre as only a true fan could do. It’s like how the Comedy Central roasters were so mean (and so funny) the closer they were to the person being roasted. I mean back when they were funny, not in recent years when they roasted like James Franco.
“Forbidden Broadway” is an NYC off-Broadway institution that has been skewering Broadway shows since 1982. That is before I was even born! Gerard Alessandrini started the riotous, biting revue to mock his beloved musical theatre as only a true fan could do. It’s like how the Comedy Central roasters were so mean (and so funny) the closer they were to the person being roasted. I mean back when they were funny, not in recent years when they roasted like James Franco.
The first version of “Forbidden Broadway” ran for thousands of performances, which is sick amazing, and then nearly every single season Gerard retooled the songs to attack current offerings on the Great White Way. He constantly and consistently worked, changing season after season, for more than twenty years! He picked up a Tony and some Drama Desk Awards for his outstanding hilarity as he went. There was a short break that occurred from 2009 to 2012, which is when I first saw it, I think. And recently it was in London for the first time ever! I really had doubts about how it would translate to London, because British people are not funny. Well they aren’t funny in the same way as us chosen people. But I haven’t seen an audience laugh this hysterically in a long time.
My main reason for going, besides my usual ‘I just have to see everything’ reason, is that Christina Bianco joined the cast. You may have seen Bianco on Ellen or in Time or taking over the internet with her impersonations of musical theatre and pop divas. She is astounding, nabbing everyone from Chenoweth to Idina to Bernadette to, my favorites, Julie Andrews and Celine Dion, with unbelievable precision. Luckily, most of her best impressions are featured in the show. She is like the musical and female Bill Hader who can sing like the best of them. So, nothing like Bill Hader. While the other cast members weren’t as successful in their interpretations (Mandy Patinkin and Liza Minelli sounded nothing like them), they were still as talented and as entertaining in their mockeries. Across the board, the comedic timing was near perfection, with the staging of some numbers even funnier than the lines being sung.
And oh my, the lines. The first main number that had me literally convulsing attacked “Matilda”, starting with “My mummy says I’m a triple threat” instead of the opening line of the show “My mummy says I’m a miracle”, and it’s sung by the big child stars of London – Billy Elliot, Gavroche from Les Mis, and, of course, Matilda. Bianco plays Matilda here, and it’s amazing because she not only is actually child-sized, but she also has the famous Matilda arm movements (hands on hips, then blowing her fists and other random and stilted movements) down pat. Then, instead of the rocking power song “We are revolting children”, the cast sings “We are exploited children living in exploiting times, we sing exhausting songs, using explicit rhymes.” It was perfect!
Bianco’s spot-on Matilda was only topped by her Kristin Chenoweth. It helps that she’s the same size, but she can do her exact voice. And not just the squeaky talking and chest-voice voice, but the opera-trained super-soprano that Cheno does as well, in shows like “Candide”, where her big song as Cunegonde is the famous “Glitter and be Gay”. (You should really watch this clip, starting at about minute 3). Well, here, it’s a send-up of Chenoweth herself, so it’s “Glitter and be Glib”. As Bianco talks one moment in Cheno’s recognizable voice about how great and famous she is, she jumps in the next moment and sings the insanely difficult opera parts about how glib she is – while also throwing in bits from “Popular” (from “Wicked”) and “My New Philosophy” (from Cheno’s Tony-winning role in “You’re a Good Man, Charlie Brown”). It’s one of the most impressive things I’ve seen in a long time, ending of course with a note higher than you expected that sent the (obvious) theatre students sitting next to me into spirals of self-doubt.
The funniest part, and the most hilariously offensive, was the “Miss Saigon” section. Oh my god. Bianco was dressed as Kim but in a red Chinese dress and long black wig, and Damian Humbley and Ben Lewis were Chris and John in their Army fatigues. “Sun and Moon”, between Kim and Chris, one of the most beautiful songs, turned from “You are sunlight and I moon” to something like “I’ll sing clichés and you’ll sing haikus”. So mean and so funny. When Kim pops out (literally) her child, Ben Lewis as John storms onstage and sings accusingly, “Is that Bui Doi??” in a send-up of John’s song about his charity for orphans of Vietnam. It’s AWFUL. It’s so funny.
But it didn’t even touch the final “Miss Saigon” part. Damian Humbley came onstage dressed as The Engineer, ostensibly to do his big and best number “The American Dream”. But no, he announces “My name is Cameron Mackintosh”, legendary, ridiculously successful producer of Saigon, Les Mis, etc. The opening notes of “American Dream” begin…and Damian-as-Cameron sings something along the lines of “When I transfer shows to New York…the Americans cream…” Oh my god people were CRYING. It hurt it was so funny. And it didn’t get less funny the more that line was repeated as Cameron shared his producing secrets: “All these bright lights and loud noise!…the Americans cream…” I still can’t believe this one. It was the best.
The “Les Miserables” section was almost as enjoyable, if a little long. While “God It’s High” (a play on “Bring Him Home” and how freaking high that song is written), a “Forbidden Broadway” standard, was here again, the new staging of the famous Les Mis turntable and some new songs like “On My Phone” made up for it. If you aren’t familiar with 99% of Les Mis productions, they use a turntable a lot of the time so the cast is often rotating. They spoof that here, first with the cast shuffling in circles, then with Javert and Eponine repeatedly missing the microphone and just getting bits of their solos out, then with other characters readying themselves to jump onto the turntable and joining in the shuffling, all while Jean Valjean shuffles by in the background every so often. It’s so freaking hilarious. It ends with the cast, dressed as various Les Mis characters, singing “Ten Years More”, about how Les Mis’s run will never end. The songs didn’t have the most creative lyrics, but the staging more than made up for it, sending the audience into hysterics. Also, Damian Humbley played Valjean, and it gave him the chance to really show off his impressive talents.
Actually, a lot of the stuff wasn’t new, sadly, but most of it was still enjoyable for me, and definitely for the rest of the uninitiated audience. “Into The Words” is a wonderful, somewhat intellectual, satire of how difficult Sondheim’s scores are to sing. In one of my favorite and easiest ways to get audiences on your side, we joined in a sing-along to see just how hard his stuff is: “Into The Woods” became “Into the words that trip your lip and fry your brain and sprain your tongue…” It nails everything wonderful and irritating about Sondheim classics, “the metaphors the synonyms the perfect scan”. This is one that has been on the recordings for years, but it still holds up.
Other classics that are rehashed here include the “Jersey Boys” parody “Walk Like A Man, Sing Like A Girl”, which you can’t not love, but the other “Jersey Boys” song, “Scary”, instead of “Sherry”, doesn’t really make you laugh. Also unwelcome was the “Wicked”/Idina Menzel spoof “Defying Subtlety”, which I hated 4 years ago and groaned when they began again here. I also did not appreciate sitting through “The Circle Of Mice”, about Disney’s takeover of theatre, for the like 9th time.
A different Idina standard, “Let It Go”, got much better treatment, mostly because of Bianco’s ridiculous impression of Menzel. The “Frozen” song became “Let It Blow”, about how loud and crazy Idina sings, and ends with “My nodes never bothered me anyway.” Kind of trite, but the impression sold it.
“Frozen” was one of the few new things in the second act that really worked. Sadly, the most lackluster part was “The Book of Mormon” spoof called “The Book of Morons”. It was Trey Parker and Matt Stone dressed in BOM costume and singing about how they made a masterpiece because theatre should be dirty and stuff. I guess it’s hard to really make fun of the funniest show currently running anywhere. Like how do you make good jokes about jokes? So yeah it was a wasted opportunity I guess. The “Charlie & the Chocolate Factory” number was a little better, with Ben Lewis perfectly costumed as Willy Wonka and singing “Come with me and you’ll see there’s a show with no imagination.” That opening line was the funniest part, but the rest wasn’t bad.
Really, the best part of this show, and of revues like it, is that if you are a true theatre fanatic, it rewards you for being one. You can enjoy the show if you are a theatre novice, but you can’t really appreciate all of the little genius jokes and asides and even some movements that are all inside jokes. All of these jokes and hilarious songs are only funny because you know the base material. You know that Bernadette Peters has a raspy and odd voice (impersonated to perfection again by Bianco begging her audience to “See Me On A Monday”, please). You know that Liza Minnelli moves about manically (though why Bianco didn’t do this impression I’ll never understand). You know how the opening moves to “A Chorus Line” get chanted “step kick kick leap kick touch! Again! Step kick kick leap kick touch!” and laugh when they are here changed to mock the upcoming production of “Cats”, to “lick scratch scratch purr lick scratch! Again!” Even though it’s pretty mean a lot of the time, “Forbidden Broadway” is really a love letter, albeit a sick one, to its current season and really all of musical theatre. And since most of the best songs get recycled every year, you can plan to catch it next time and enjoy pretty much the same stuff I did.
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“You Can’t Take It With You” on Broadway: Crazy Fun Times That Will Remind You of Thanksgiving
The latest all-around excellent show to open on Broadway boasts a wonderful ensemble of super recognizable actors that magically mesh together, making it stand out so far this season. (See: “It’s Only A Play”. I mean don’t see it. Review forthcoming). That James Earl Jones plays the Grandpa (of an all-white family, which I love; see color-blind casting is FINE and GOOD and WORKS) is reason enough to see this show, and you’ll become fans of the wonderful theatre and H’wood actors composing the rest of the cast.
Despite how much this revival of “You Can’t Take It With You” has going for it, every single review begins the same way: The writer concedes that it’s an antiquated play, that everyone assumes it’s too old-fashioned to be relevant nowadays, but that this production’s team has done a bang-up job (which means good, contrary to how it sounds (from now on let’s agree it means bad, like banged up) (change approved)) to bring it into the 21st century. It’s actually extremely annoying. All these writers (getting paid, ffs) follow this same trite and tired formula, as if they have to apologize for the play being old. So ageist! It’s also silly. You don’t see people apologizing for Shakespeare. And you’re probably saying, but Shakespeare is still relevant today. Well so is this! No apologies!
JAMES EARL JONES IS WAVING TO ME!!! JUST TO ME!!!
“You Can’t Take It With You”, which I will refer to as YCTIWY from here on out, nevermind that is an awful acronym so I won’t, is a Kaufman & Hart work from freaking 1936, and we are still enjoying it today. Now that’s incredible. Also, if you can ever think of the great Kaufman & Hart without singing “Go ask the Gerrrrshwins or Kaufman & Hart” from “Annie” then you are stronger than I am. Hell I couldn’t even see the play “Act One” last year because I would have gone crazy singing that line over and over in my head. (It’s about Moss.)
ANYWAY. YCTWITHYOU tells the story of the jubilantly wacky Sycamore family, with its wacky playwright of a mother, its wacky firework maker of a father, its wacky wannabe prima ballerina of a daughter, her wacky husband, and the not-at-all-wacky-or-hey-maybe-she-actually-is-like-her-family other daughter who just wants to marry up, plus all the surrounding characters, including the grandfather played by James Earl Jones, who I think is written wacky but JEJ can never play wacky so he still kind of seemed regal and wise even though he was probably talking crazy. The story concerns the straight-laced office-secretary (working girl!) daughter Alice, who wants to marry her boss’s son Tony Kirby but is beyond fearful and anxious about their wildly different families – and as we see in all their insane glory, rightly so.
Obviously, the casting is vital in YTAYKAT, because the family’s wackiness can either work and make you fall in love with all of them, or it can annoy the piss out of you. Luckily, here, the producers got everything right. This hilarious band of fun crazies is led by Penny, the matriarch, played by the consistent and consistently hilarious Kristine Nielson (who was deservedly nominated for a 2013 Tony for “Vanya and Sonia and Masha and Spike” in a super competitive year). Penny writes various sorts of plays that never are produced or really even read, and we learn later that she fell into this ‘profession’ when a typewriter was mistakenly delivered to her house. Penny’s husband Paul makes fireworks and crackers and smoke and all sorts of things that blow up in the basement at really inopportune times. Paul is played by Mark Linn-Baker, or the non-Balki lead from “Perfect Strangers”, one of my childhood mainstays. I didn’t know that Mark was in this show, and when I moved to an empty seat in the front row (from my last row of the top balcony seat, thank you very much) I kind of gasped when I realized who it was! So fun. Anyway, yeah so he sets stuff on fire in their house, with the help of his friend Mr. De Pinna, who models for a painting in Roman garb at one point and looks exactly like Christoph Waltz in it.
The best part of this production is the characterization of the daughter Essie, played by freaking thief Annaleigh Ashford, who steals every single thing she’s in. Essie yearns to be a top ballerina, and she studies with a Russian tutor very frequently, but she’s terrible, awful, no good very bad. How do we know how bad she is? Because regardless of what is happening in the play, she is dancing. When she walks to the kitchen to make her candies that she sells, she freaking leaps. Or jetes, I don’t know I only took ballet when I was 3. When she is listening to someone talking in the living room, she is practicing her (really difficult) jumps in one spot until someone stops her. When the fancy Kirby family comes to dinner, the elegant elonge’ position she takes on the floor by Mrs. Kirby will make you cry. Her ridiculousness, which extends to her facial expressions as well as her physicality, is the best part of the play, along with her husband Ed, played with matching ridiculousness by Will Brill, with his subtle but hysterical faces constantly diverting your attention from the main action to him.
Alice, the daughter embarrassed by all of her family’s shenanigans, is well cast with Rose Byrne in her Broadway debut. I saw YAKANUT in previews, and in the front row I could see a tiny bit of nervousness that seemed like hyper-awareness of what she was supposed to be doing, but overall she was fantastic. Alice really loves Tony Kirby but does not have faith in either of the families’ ability to accept and be accepted. Tony is well played by Fran Kranz, which sounds like one of the phrases Kim Jong-Il would say a lot in “Team America” but he’s really an actor who was in Joss Whedon’s magical “Much Ado About Nothing” in 2012.
Tony tries to convince Alice that they’ll be fine, that the families will get along. Of course we see things go to total shit because the Sycamores are crazy (but super fun) and the Kirbys are kind of awful and stodgy and seem like they would yell at you to sit up straighter. We are treated to seriously insane scenes when the two families do try to socialize. They actually end up in jail, naturally being arrested while the basement of fireworks is going off accidentally. It’s the kind of thing where you are sitting with your eyes bugging out not believing what is happening in front of you but also just totally loving the crap out of it.
Oh, why are they arrested? Well, Essie’s doofus of a husband fancies himself a typesetter or something, and he prints phrases that he likes on the wrappers of Essie’s candy that he delivers to customers. Turns out he likes phrases that sound like terrorist and communist propaganda so the FBI has been following the family. It doesn’t help that Grandpa Earl Jones hasn’t paid income tax in more than 20 years. Why not? Because he doesn’t trust that the government would use it well. I freaking love Grandpa. And agree. Grandpa is the voice of wisdom and gets some wonderful monologues about money and greed and of course says the title of the show in one of these so everyone in the audience drinks.
There is some surreal randomness even above the randomness of all the family members’ antics. Elizabeth Ashley appears only in Act 3 to play a former Russian royal who now works as a waitress and wants to cook the family dinner. I was like okay monster man. Very unnecessary but hey, you get to see Elizabeth Ashley onstage. Also Johanna Day plays an actress reading one of Penny’s scripts (I guess someone did read them) but she is a drunk and passes out. It’s also totally unnecessary but it’s worth it because she is still super drunk during the FBI raid, adding to that scene’s unbeatable amount of outrageousness.
YAKSCOK has a happy ending, of course, because it’s a comedy even though there are lots of snakes onstage. You kind of want to tell Alice to calm down as I’m pretty sure every single family has some Sycamore qualities, but you get why she’s anxious. Fortunately, she realizes she’s lucky to have such a loving family, despite its eccentricities. The pretty people get married and Essie keeps dancing and it’s all just a pile of smiles. The end.
ANYWAY. YCTWITHYOU tells the story of the jubilantly wacky Sycamore family, with its wacky playwright of a mother, its wacky firework maker of a father, its wacky wannabe prima ballerina of a daughter, her wacky husband, and the not-at-all-wacky-or-hey-maybe-she-actually-is-like-her-family other daughter who just wants to marry up, plus all the surrounding characters, including the grandfather played by James Earl Jones, who I think is written wacky but JEJ can never play wacky so he still kind of seemed regal and wise even though he was probably talking crazy. The story concerns the straight-laced office-secretary (working girl!) daughter Alice, who wants to marry her boss’s son Tony Kirby but is beyond fearful and anxious about their wildly different families – and as we see in all their insane glory, rightly so.
Obviously, the casting is vital in YTAYKAT, because the family’s wackiness can either work and make you fall in love with all of them, or it can annoy the piss out of you. Luckily, here, the producers got everything right. This hilarious band of fun crazies is led by Penny, the matriarch, played by the consistent and consistently hilarious Kristine Nielson (who was deservedly nominated for a 2013 Tony for “Vanya and Sonia and Masha and Spike” in a super competitive year). Penny writes various sorts of plays that never are produced or really even read, and we learn later that she fell into this ‘profession’ when a typewriter was mistakenly delivered to her house. Penny’s husband Paul makes fireworks and crackers and smoke and all sorts of things that blow up in the basement at really inopportune times. Paul is played by Mark Linn-Baker, or the non-Balki lead from “Perfect Strangers”, one of my childhood mainstays. I didn’t know that Mark was in this show, and when I moved to an empty seat in the front row (from my last row of the top balcony seat, thank you very much) I kind of gasped when I realized who it was! So fun. Anyway, yeah so he sets stuff on fire in their house, with the help of his friend Mr. De Pinna, who models for a painting in Roman garb at one point and looks exactly like Christoph Waltz in it.
The best part of this production is the characterization of the daughter Essie, played by freaking thief Annaleigh Ashford, who steals every single thing she’s in. Essie yearns to be a top ballerina, and she studies with a Russian tutor very frequently, but she’s terrible, awful, no good very bad. How do we know how bad she is? Because regardless of what is happening in the play, she is dancing. When she walks to the kitchen to make her candies that she sells, she freaking leaps. Or jetes, I don’t know I only took ballet when I was 3. When she is listening to someone talking in the living room, she is practicing her (really difficult) jumps in one spot until someone stops her. When the fancy Kirby family comes to dinner, the elegant elonge’ position she takes on the floor by Mrs. Kirby will make you cry. Her ridiculousness, which extends to her facial expressions as well as her physicality, is the best part of the play, along with her husband Ed, played with matching ridiculousness by Will Brill, with his subtle but hysterical faces constantly diverting your attention from the main action to him.
Alice, the daughter embarrassed by all of her family’s shenanigans, is well cast with Rose Byrne in her Broadway debut. I saw YAKANUT in previews, and in the front row I could see a tiny bit of nervousness that seemed like hyper-awareness of what she was supposed to be doing, but overall she was fantastic. Alice really loves Tony Kirby but does not have faith in either of the families’ ability to accept and be accepted. Tony is well played by Fran Kranz, which sounds like one of the phrases Kim Jong-Il would say a lot in “Team America” but he’s really an actor who was in Joss Whedon’s magical “Much Ado About Nothing” in 2012.
Tony tries to convince Alice that they’ll be fine, that the families will get along. Of course we see things go to total shit because the Sycamores are crazy (but super fun) and the Kirbys are kind of awful and stodgy and seem like they would yell at you to sit up straighter. We are treated to seriously insane scenes when the two families do try to socialize. They actually end up in jail, naturally being arrested while the basement of fireworks is going off accidentally. It’s the kind of thing where you are sitting with your eyes bugging out not believing what is happening in front of you but also just totally loving the crap out of it.
Oh, why are they arrested? Well, Essie’s doofus of a husband fancies himself a typesetter or something, and he prints phrases that he likes on the wrappers of Essie’s candy that he delivers to customers. Turns out he likes phrases that sound like terrorist and communist propaganda so the FBI has been following the family. It doesn’t help that Grandpa Earl Jones hasn’t paid income tax in more than 20 years. Why not? Because he doesn’t trust that the government would use it well. I freaking love Grandpa. And agree. Grandpa is the voice of wisdom and gets some wonderful monologues about money and greed and of course says the title of the show in one of these so everyone in the audience drinks.
There is some surreal randomness even above the randomness of all the family members’ antics. Elizabeth Ashley appears only in Act 3 to play a former Russian royal who now works as a waitress and wants to cook the family dinner. I was like okay monster man. Very unnecessary but hey, you get to see Elizabeth Ashley onstage. Also Johanna Day plays an actress reading one of Penny’s scripts (I guess someone did read them) but she is a drunk and passes out. It’s also totally unnecessary but it’s worth it because she is still super drunk during the FBI raid, adding to that scene’s unbeatable amount of outrageousness.
YAKSCOK has a happy ending, of course, because it’s a comedy even though there are lots of snakes onstage. You kind of want to tell Alice to calm down as I’m pretty sure every single family has some Sycamore qualities, but you get why she’s anxious. Fortunately, she realizes she’s lucky to have such a loving family, despite its eccentricities. The pretty people get married and Essie keeps dancing and it’s all just a pile of smiles. The end.
How to Fix “Sleepless” the Musical
It’s Theatre Thursday! Today’s show is Sleepless, the musical based on the movie “Sleepless in Seattle”, which ran in London this past weekend for three performances, for hilarious reasons, and will reappear in March.
Okay, first of all, I know that you (I’m assuming the entire creative team reads this site) have spent almost a decade trying to fix this show and make it happen. You’ve worked really hard and even scrapped the original composers for a new team and new score, so bravo for really trying everything to make Sleepless a success. But it’s not quite there yet. Sure, I am absolutely thrilled (and shocked) to say that it was not a terrible evening of theatre, and was in fact mostly enjoyable and often quite moving. But there’s still some work to do so it can be a great show, and not just a show that people go into saying “okay, if it’s bad, I hope it’s really bad.” Since you proved it’s not one of those shows (the people who want that can go see the Cats movie), it needs a few alterations.
Second of all, I must say that as a lawyer (#surprise), I completely adore the reason why I was able to see this sneak preview premiere of Sleepless last weekend: because of legal technicalities. The show is opening for real in the London in March, but there were three (3) surprise performances this past weekend at the Troubadour Theatre Wembley Park. Why on earth were there 3 performances 3 months before the official run? Because contractual obligations demanded that the show premiere before the end of 2019 or they would lose the rights (so I was told). This is my favorite detail.
So maybe you were rushing, maybe you know that some of the below must happen in order for this show to be better than not bad. But just in case, since you have 3 months, I’ll share what needs to be done. And obviously this is all going to be critical, but as you know (since you read the site), nothing describes my modus operandi more than the basketball coach in Love & Basketball: you think I’d go hoarse for a player with no potential?
ALSO, I must commend you for the changes you made from the movie to the stage. Adaptations cannot be carbon copies, otherwise you get a Pretty Woman fiasco. I was genuinely impressed with the decisions you made to make this a worthy separate version of the story.
Without further ado:
THE BAD
- You need a new score.
I know, I know, you’ve been trying for yeeeears to nail the score and you thought you finally had it. You don’t. It’s a fine score, and some of it can stay (e.g. the baseball song, contrary to what Falsettos would have taught us, is solid), but it’s unmemorable and too lackluster to capture the magic and romance you should be going for. And it’s not fun. Too much of it fell into the Songs As Described By Buddy The Elf conundrum (“it’s just like talking but louder and longer and you move your voice up and down”).
And while I love Sondheim just as much as the next Person with Taste, your lyricist seemed too focused on making internal rhymes than capturing the meaning of songs. And the end rhymes are still haunting me: Brando with thunder? Calling it Washington Seattle to rhyme with battle? Eek and oh no.
- Annie needs an early solo.
The lead character we’re supposed to think is the greatest woman left on earth doesn’t have a solo number until the Act 1 closer. What is this, Amelie? She needs to introduce herself so we care about her and believe that she’s the best woman on earth or at least a good choice for Sam. (Also that song, the Act 1 closer, is three different songs in one and only the second part was great. Work on expanding that second melody.) Even her MOTHER gets an early (plodding) song? Cut it or make it a duet! WALTER gets the second song in the show? Make it a true duet so we get more of both characters and not just lists of his allergies.
In general, Annie needs more development. There were hints at having considered her whole ‘talking too fast and jibbering nonsense’ thing as character development, and honestly it would work, but it’s too infrequent to seem on purpose or part of her character and not just a thing she happens to do twice. Who is she and why do we like her? We never really can say.
- The Rosie role is a shanda.
Why is this bubbly young woman’s best friend this old and dowdy lady? It should be a contemporary of hers. Why are you making this performer look like her grandmother? In that frumpy costuming? I’m honestly offended on Rosie’s behalf. Becky’s big song where she writes and sends Annie’s letter is a heaving pile of clichés and random phrases (with of course lots of internal rhymes). And while she does later clarify that she just ‘edited’ Annie’s words, this song is clearly her typing the letter herself, which is a bad change from the movie. Annie needs to write her own letter. Her friend can send it, but Annie needs to have that power.
- Cut, by god immediately cut, the ridiculous “Let’s Get Physical” ‘joke’.
In Act 2, Annie flies to Seattle to try to find Sam, and she calls her friend Becky to check in. Becky comes onstage holding hand weights and out of breath, as “Let’s Get Physical” blasts on the speakers. Is the joke that she was exercising and she is struggling? Because fat? Did you have to pay for the rights to use that song for 4 seconds? Did more than one misogynistic fat-shaming ha-wite man think this was a good idea? It is not.
- Rewrite the chorus to the ‘desperate women’ song.
It’s not my favorite, but I understand that desire to have a song showing that Sam is receiving endless letters from desperate women who heard him on the radio. Fine. But it was not funny, and it should be funny. It’s fine to have them sing their individual desperate letters but the ‘running out of time’ and ‘my eggs are dying’ lyrics in the chorus are so cringey, as was the unnecessary boob-grabbing. Actually that third woman’s whole thing seemed icky.
- Rethink the hairdos.
Annie has shoulder-length bouncy blonde hair…as does the woman playing Victoria??…as does Dr Marsha Fieldstone??…as do at least two other ensemble members? (Every woman is blonde in this.)This theatre is a g-d barn, and even from my great seat they all looked exactly the same. That’s bad.
- Stop repeating the chorus from the opening number like it’s a life-altering motif.
I get that it’s your big theme, but it’s not a special enough lyric or melody, and even if it was special, nothing is strong enough to withstand repeating it a dozen times.
- Cut down the traffic.
I mean this for both on and off stage. It’s an enormous theatre and stage, and honestly, it should be an intimate show. They used projections but no sets. Sets would help, but even if you keep the staging how it is, the amount of stage used can be cut. There were so many moments of just watching people walk in silence across the stage and I was like, what. Bring the wings in closer or something.
Also, I have never seen so much traffic in the audience. Since it’ll be in the same theatre in March, tell the house staff not to reseat people who get up to get drinks every 10 minutes until proper points. It was honestly ridiculous. It contributes to an informal atmosphere where people think it’s cool to talk to their friends the whole time. Actually, people involved with the production were sitting in front of me, and they were talking way too much too. Really pissed me off. I kept imagining what would happen if I said “hey can you please stop talking so much?” They would turn around and the brunette would say, “um, we’re with the show”, to which I would quote Chidi and say “but that’s worse…you see how that’s worse, right?”
- Cut the line about British people sounding smarter even when they’re vomiting.
Ugh.
- Cut the line that ruined an otherwise great ending.
I like that you knew people wanted the ending to be as close to the movie as possible, and it delivered. It was very well done, although there should be a song somewhere (maybe before the three characters meet at the top of the ESB, with Jonah singing his way there and Sam singing his way there and Annie singing her way there and they all overlap slowly and then go full Les Mis that would be awesome). But the last-second joke about playing tennis? Nnnnnnnno.
THE NEUTRAL
I don’t understand why the time period is the same as the movie – it adds nothing, and the weird book scene about computers vs. typewriters is pointless. It wouldn’t change it too much to modernize the setting. But I guess it doesn’t hurt to keep it. It’s just whatever.
THE GOOD
- I may not have loved the opening song, but that opening scene immediately made me cry?? Wtf. It was really well done and just subtle enough. Honestly, every scene with Sam and Jonah was nearly perfect and captured real emotion. Both actors were great, so kudos for finding a non-annoying child actor. I really enjoyed Michael D. Xavier’s Sam, and I’m glad he gets to show off his voice. Kimberly Walsh is good too but deserves the same chance to really show off with a more defined character.
- I LOVE love the decision to add the new composite character of Sam’s friend babysitting Jonah all the time instead of having the Jessica role (and the Victor Garber role?). No one could capture what Gabby Hoffman did, and you don’t want to deal with more kids, so it’s a great decision. Their rapport was fun and necessary comic relief. An excellent change.
- I honestly don’t understand it, but the best acting moment in the entire show came from Sam’s sister and brother-in-law, who had…two lines. Give them more? Bring the rest of the book up to that level?
This show was a lot of fun and it could be great. I’m really impressed by the decisions made in what to keep from the movie and what to change, so I have hope that more great decisions will be made. Call me if you need me but ya know don’t call me but call me if you need me.
INFORMATION
Troubadour Theatre Wembley Park is out in, you guessed it, Wembley Park. It’s right near a location of the BoxPark food hall so that’s fun.
This theatre, man alive, has THE BEST BATHROOMS I’ve ever seen in a theatre. Like stadium style (endless rows! I think at least 40 stalls?) but with nice décor and sinks so it doesn’t look like a stadium. NO LINES. Also, the bar had several pitchers of water that they ALWAYS kept full. Please make the West End learn from them.
With a 7:45pm start time, Act 1 ended at 20:48, and the second act was just under an hour. Perfect length.
There was a good dog in the lobby. I pet him.
