Boom: All Of the Year's Important Movies, Reviewed In One Spotby Randi / February 18, 2015
It’s Oscar weekend! Yay! That means it’s high time for me to decide what I’m rooting for and what I think will win. More importantly, I will share what my list of ideal nominees would have looked like in each category. By ‘each’ I mean the main six categories because I am powerful sick and looking forward to taking Night Nurse (“AH AH AH Fighter of the Day Nurse!”), which is actually the name of a Nyquil sort of thing here in the UK. I think that’s hilarious. Anyway, back to the Oscars: Let me know if you agree, disagree, are hungry, bored, whatever, I’d prob be interested. I hope you plan on watching! Neil Patrick Harris is hosting, and if there’s any justice, he will begin with a great big flashy musical number that will bring joy to all viewers and let us forget the inanity of the bullshit that will inevitably follow.
My choices for what I want to win are in bold.
My choices for what I want to win are in bold.
BEST MOTION PICTURE OF THE YEAR
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Actual Nominees
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Better Nominees
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First things first: What the hell is up with Birdman’s title? It’s pretentious and I hate typing it. I’m not going to type it again.
Secondly. If I were in charge of things, my first order of business would be to change it back to five nominees, across the board, across all categories, across all award shows. The more nominees, the less it means. Also, the expansion in the Oscars was in response to the lack of room for movies like “The Dark Knight”, action movies that were just as good as artsy movies. But the expansion hasn’t reflected that, obviously, because “Interstellar” would be included. It’s only made room for more artsy stuff, or crap. And it means more to be not nominated for Best Picture than it does to actually be nominated because so many are in. And that’s just confusing to say!
So if we were back to 5 nominees, I would definitely include Boyhood, and I would definitely include Whiplash (which had zero flaws) from the original list. And then I would add one of my favorites, The Judge. But this is where it gets really difficult – so difficult that I can’t even decide and I’m putting two choices for two slots! But see, IT SHOULD BE DIFFICULT. You should not just fill a bunch of spots with all the movies that are sort of good. It should mean something! But anyway, the 7 above are the most deserving. I am rooting for Boyhood because it was so well done, so meaningful, and so unique. The Best Picture of the Year should go to something that in 50 years people can recall without the internet, or whatever we get information from in the future, and nod knowingly in recognition and respect. Boyhood is the one that actually chronicles people’s growth, emotionally and physically, over a huge chunk of their lives. Nothing else on this list has the necessary import to win.
Secondly. If I were in charge of things, my first order of business would be to change it back to five nominees, across the board, across all categories, across all award shows. The more nominees, the less it means. Also, the expansion in the Oscars was in response to the lack of room for movies like “The Dark Knight”, action movies that were just as good as artsy movies. But the expansion hasn’t reflected that, obviously, because “Interstellar” would be included. It’s only made room for more artsy stuff, or crap. And it means more to be not nominated for Best Picture than it does to actually be nominated because so many are in. And that’s just confusing to say!
So if we were back to 5 nominees, I would definitely include Boyhood, and I would definitely include Whiplash (which had zero flaws) from the original list. And then I would add one of my favorites, The Judge. But this is where it gets really difficult – so difficult that I can’t even decide and I’m putting two choices for two slots! But see, IT SHOULD BE DIFFICULT. You should not just fill a bunch of spots with all the movies that are sort of good. It should mean something! But anyway, the 7 above are the most deserving. I am rooting for Boyhood because it was so well done, so meaningful, and so unique. The Best Picture of the Year should go to something that in 50 years people can recall without the internet, or whatever we get information from in the future, and nod knowingly in recognition and respect. Boyhood is the one that actually chronicles people’s growth, emotionally and physically, over a huge chunk of their lives. Nothing else on this list has the necessary import to win.
ACHIEVEMENT IN DIRECTING
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Actual Nominees
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Better Nominees
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Directing is where I definitely think Christopher Nolan should have been nominated. He does good work. I’m going to keep Imitation Game in here because a) it was very impeccably done and b) the director sounds like a scary Game of Thrones character so I don’t want to piss him off. Ava DuVernay definitely deserved to be nominated, not to make history, but because her work was outstanding. Wes Anderson is just amazing but I’m hoping TGBH will win for cinematography (I bet it loses to Birdman though for its shaky hand Blair-Witch-style camerawork!). Linklater deserves this!
PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A LEADING ROLE
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Actual Nominees
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Better Nominees
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The absence of recognition for Jennifer Aniston’s superb work in Cake is a huge problem here. Her performance was stunning (she was not) and she deserved to be nominated. Now, instead of who, I’m not sure, because I didn’t get to see Marion’s movie. Considering Marion made Nine almost watchable, I would be willing to bet big that she was phenomenal. Felicity was truly wonderful and lovely too, but just not in a very Oscar-y role. So one of them has to go. They can decide on their own. If I were Felicity, I would want Marion to step down because she already has an Oscar. If I were Marion, I would want Felicity to step down because she’s 12 years old.
Rosamund, hot damn was she fantastic, frightening, f-ing nuts and just perfect perfect casting. Reese made Wild a decent movie and told a story with barely any words. But I’m hoping beyond hope that Julianne Moore will finally win an Oscar. She is the coolest. And her performance in Still Alice was breathtaking. That movie is also perfect Oscar bait. At the Q&A I went to with her a few weeks ago, the moderator (IDIOT) asked her if this year was any more exciting or if she’s used to the Oscar pomp and circumstance, as she is so often there as a nominee. Julianne clarified that she hasn’t been nominated for an Oscar in 13 years! Isn’t that crazy and terrible? Let’s have her win please. Deserves it.
Rosamund, hot damn was she fantastic, frightening, f-ing nuts and just perfect perfect casting. Reese made Wild a decent movie and told a story with barely any words. But I’m hoping beyond hope that Julianne Moore will finally win an Oscar. She is the coolest. And her performance in Still Alice was breathtaking. That movie is also perfect Oscar bait. At the Q&A I went to with her a few weeks ago, the moderator (IDIOT) asked her if this year was any more exciting or if she’s used to the Oscar pomp and circumstance, as she is so often there as a nominee. Julianne clarified that she hasn’t been nominated for an Oscar in 13 years! Isn’t that crazy and terrible? Let’s have her win please. Deserves it.
PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A LEADING ROLE
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Actual Nominees
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Better Nominees
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Who knew Steve Carell was such a good dramatic actor? His unbelievable performance was the best thing about Foxcatcher. But he and Rosamund can win special ‘you haunt my nightmares’ awards while hopefully the lead Oscar winners win the ‘you portrayed disability and the degeneration of disease really well’ awards. That means I’m rooting for Redmayne, who really was spectacular as Stephen Hawking, both as a young, healthy college student and as the modern day scientist we know. I’m well aware of how Michael Keaton’s resurgence with Birdman is a huge deal and he was very good in it, but I wasn’t blown away by his playing himself, pretty much. If we’re nominating an older beloved actor in his first dramatic role in a while, then that slot should have gone to Bill Murray’s wonderful performance. Bandersnatch was great and will win in the future, so he can stay. Oyelowo was fantastic and it’s ludicrous that a solid performance of Martin Luther King isn’t a sure bet for an Oscar nom anymore. It’s like up is down.
PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A
SUPPORTING ROLE
SUPPORTING ROLE
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Actual Nominees
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Better Nominees
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Did you see on the BAFTAs when, in his monologue, Stephen Fry (supposedly a genius) referred to Patricia as ‘Rosanna Arquette’? That’s her sister! That’s turrburr. He didn’t correct himself ever either. I want her to win. She really was the heart of Boyhood and was wonderful. Also, judging her past wins this awards season, she seems to have a problem with public speaking, which I LOVE. Like, she’s a professional actress and she can’t do public speaking. That might be my favorite thing ever. She gives the most awkward, uncomfortable speeches but you really pull for her like she’s the little engine that could, or a puppy in a video of puppy fails and you are like just catch the damn ball you poor thing!
I was initially not a fan of Keira’s nomination, but the more I thought about it slash the more clips I saw of her specific scenes in the Imitation Game, the more I accepted her inclusion. When watching the movie, I thought she wasn’t anything special, but I think that was because all my focus was rightly on Bandersnatch. But Keira really was great and so I apologize for my past words. I love Laura Dern and thought she was really touching in her very small role in Wild, but, although I think her acclaim is deserved, I would include others ahead of her. Emma Stone was great, I know, but she just yelled a lot and smoked and that’s not very hard. It’s hard not to smoke; ask anyone who smoked. And her great scene was mostly due to the camera being positioned like under her chin and at a weird angle that made her Big Eyes-style big eyes even more alien-like and dramatic. Her time will come, she does no wrong.
My biggest surprise was that Chastain wasn’t nominated. Chastain is A BALLER. Even in crappy movies like A Most Violent Year, she still manages to awe you. She should have been nominated for that, or for the Eleanor Rigby movies, or for whatever. She’s the best actress of her generation.
While Meryl Streep was just having a ball as the Witch in Into The Woods and made us have a ball with her (except for when she made us cry, good job), I also would have included Emily Blunt, who I think was the very best part of that movie. She was perfection as the Baker’s Wife, and that’s the most difficult role in the show. I would also put her in supporting and not lead as the Golden Globes did, partly because all the roles in Into The Woods seem of equal weight and partly because there’s a strong chance anything the Globes does is very wrong and should not be repeated.
I was initially not a fan of Keira’s nomination, but the more I thought about it slash the more clips I saw of her specific scenes in the Imitation Game, the more I accepted her inclusion. When watching the movie, I thought she wasn’t anything special, but I think that was because all my focus was rightly on Bandersnatch. But Keira really was great and so I apologize for my past words. I love Laura Dern and thought she was really touching in her very small role in Wild, but, although I think her acclaim is deserved, I would include others ahead of her. Emma Stone was great, I know, but she just yelled a lot and smoked and that’s not very hard. It’s hard not to smoke; ask anyone who smoked. And her great scene was mostly due to the camera being positioned like under her chin and at a weird angle that made her Big Eyes-style big eyes even more alien-like and dramatic. Her time will come, she does no wrong.
My biggest surprise was that Chastain wasn’t nominated. Chastain is A BALLER. Even in crappy movies like A Most Violent Year, she still manages to awe you. She should have been nominated for that, or for the Eleanor Rigby movies, or for whatever. She’s the best actress of her generation.
While Meryl Streep was just having a ball as the Witch in Into The Woods and made us have a ball with her (except for when she made us cry, good job), I also would have included Emily Blunt, who I think was the very best part of that movie. She was perfection as the Baker’s Wife, and that’s the most difficult role in the show. I would also put her in supporting and not lead as the Golden Globes did, partly because all the roles in Into The Woods seem of equal weight and partly because there’s a strong chance anything the Globes does is very wrong and should not be repeated.
PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A
SUPPORTING ROLE
SUPPORTING ROLE
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Actual Nominees
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Better Nominees
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Unless I’m having a super big brain fart right now, I think I’m actually happy with this category! Praise be! Everyone on this list was superb and gave a performance deserving of a win. I really loved Robert Duvall in The Judge and would have loved for him to win for his crotchetiness, but not this year. Ethan Hawke, despite his failure to age along with the rest of his cast, gave Boyhood its humor and a lot of its heart. Norton played himself and that’s dumb but he was just so darn good at it. His performance was the best part of Birdman or The Movie That Shan’t Be Named. Ruffalo, always great, brought so much depth to his smaller role in Foxcatcher. All these performances were top-notch and Oscary. But J.K. Simmons in Whiplash was THE SHITTTTTTTTT. One of my favorite things in the theatre world is the Drama League Award. These awards honor the season’s best play, best musical, best play revival, and best musical revival. BUT, they only honor ONE acting performance, across all the categories, men, women, supporting, lead, plays, musicals. That is a true honor, and that really means so much, especially when a supporting performance wins. I think that if Hollywood did something like this, Simmons would win this year. Or Julianne Moore. But maybe Simmons! Theatre is the best.
So that’s all I’m going to say before the Oscars! What do you think? Are you happy, sad, angry? Do you also have a party happening upstairs? Should I write about the telecast if I stay up for it? I’m pretty sure I’ll be okay with anyone winning as long as NPH reenacts some “Hedwig” style audience participation (car washes, making out with a man in the front row, &c.).
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“Honeymoon In Vegas” on Broadway is More Fun Than it Should Be
Obviously, they made a Broadway musical of the movie “Honeymoon In Vegas”, because the story of a nice but weak-willed man who loses a shittonne of money to a Vegas casino mogul who in turn requests a weekend with nice man’s fiancée who is a dead ringer for casino man’s dead wife instead of holding him to his losses just screeeeams Broadway musical. No, I’m actually not being sarcastic. This musical freaking works.
If you haven’t seen the movie “Honeymoon In Vegas”, with those celebrated dramatists Sarah Jessica Parker and Nicholas Cage, you really need to watch it right now. It’s one of those awful but amazing movies that is completely offensive when you think about it but if you choose not to think about it then it’s just super fun. Nicholas Cage plays a man who is haunted by his deceased overbearing mother who told him never to get married. His unlucky blonde girlfriend Betsy (Sarah Jessica Parker) obviously wants to get married because that is all women aspire to do in life, and also they are always blonde if they are worth all this fuss/treating as currency.
If you haven’t seen the movie “Honeymoon In Vegas”, with those celebrated dramatists Sarah Jessica Parker and Nicholas Cage, you really need to watch it right now. It’s one of those awful but amazing movies that is completely offensive when you think about it but if you choose not to think about it then it’s just super fun. Nicholas Cage plays a man who is haunted by his deceased overbearing mother who told him never to get married. His unlucky blonde girlfriend Betsy (Sarah Jessica Parker) obviously wants to get married because that is all women aspire to do in life, and also they are always blonde if they are worth all this fuss/treating as currency.
In the movie, James Caan plays the rich casino guy Tommy Korman, who conspires to trick Nicholas Cage out of lots of money in a fixed poker game, knowing he can’t pay, and says that he’ll forego the debt if he gets to borrow Betsy for a weekend. I mean, it’s pretty much the least feminist movie you can think of and yet I’m okay with it. Mostly because there are flying Elvises and because Nicholas Cage yells “Betsy!!!!!!” so well at the end.
Okay, so it’s on Broadway now with a score by my love Jason Robert Brown, in a serious detour from his past/serious/artistic stuff. You can tell he had fun with this one, relishing the opportunity to write hysterical, silly songs in a range of styles suitable for Vegas, from Sinatra-like crooning to Elvis-style rock to an actual number about straight flushes. The show stars the already great Rob McClure as Nicholas Cage, well as Jack Singer, and he is the biggest reason to see this show. I said already great because Rob has only recently become a recognizable name in the Broadway community, after his fabulous Tony-nominated performance in “Chaplin”. (He’s also widely considered the best guy to work with on shows, as no one beats his work ethic.) The producers are hoping that you want to see the show because Tommy Korman is played by Tony Danza, yes that Tony Danza, and no when I met him after and got a freaking picture with him and his arm was on my back I FORGOT TO SAY “Hold me closer Tony Danza” and I will never ever forgive myself for missing that opportunity of a lifetime.
Anyway, Rob as Jack is completely winning, and despite the character’s serious commitment phobia and other flaws, he successfully wins you over with the very first song. He’s in New York, and he sings about all the things in life he enjoys and likes, but how the thing he loves is Betsy. “I like taxis, I like trains, I like Brooklyn when it rains, but I love Betsy. I like walking after dark, I like jogs in Prospect Park, but I love Betsy.” It’s catchy as f@&$, unfortunately, and I haven’t been able to get it out of my head for 3 weeks now. He’s so adorable in this song, and so necessarily charming, that he gains needed leeway in terms of your forgiveness for his actions to come. Comparing his girlfriend to all these activities and objects that he merely likes is also a great way to set the tone of the misogynist show to come, in a chipper way.
The high energy continues as Jack takes Betsy to Tiffany’s to finally propose, and in a fantastic little bit of theatre magic, one of the display cases turns in an instant to a hospital bed holding his dying mother, the ridiculously hilarious Nancy Opel, in a flashback to her death 10 years prior. She tells her son never to get married because no woman would ever love him like she does. It’s pretty absurd and amazing all at once, and it all just works.
Actually, side note, the most absurd and amazing part of the show was when the people sitting behind me – who I recognized from the rush line that morning, so they know at least a little about living – were talking and one girl said “What’s this about?” and the other said “Oh you never saw the movie? It’s like this really interesting drama that Woody Allen wrote and directed and you can tell it’s just sooo Woody Allen, you know?” I died. The movie is written by the guy who wrote “Fletch”, FFS. Not Woody Allen. My brother had tears. And he said loudly later “Yeah I love that they kept so many of Woody’s lines” and other things to mock these idiots. It was HILARIOUS. Also in line for the bathroom, these old ladies were talking about how “the girl in the Demi Moore part” was adorable and how “no one can beat Robert Redford, though.” Which is at least a tiny bit more forgivable because “Indecent Proposal” is just the slightly less funny version of the same exact movie, but still. How do people not know “Honeymoon In Vegas”?! It’s a Cage classic!
The pacing of this first act is so tight and really well done. Tony Danza as Tommy Korman is fantastic. He can’t really sing, and he is given WAY too many ballads that prove this, but he is pure charisma and he oozes that mobster-ish sleazy charm. He also gets a tap number that is actually really impressive.
My favorite Tony/Tommy song is pretty awful, in subject matter and black humor, but it’s so funny. When he first sees Betsy in his casino, he is shocked at her resemblance to his late wife. How did his wife die, you ask? Well, he sings about it. We move to a beach scene, and his wife is laying by the pool in the sun. Day after day after day. Tommy sings about how he should have made her get out of the sun. She died of skin cancer. It’s awful. But it’s so funny! Some people are saying how this song is really offensive and unfunny, but everyone in my packed audience thought it was hilarious. Also, it’s a good message?
Anyway, everything gets more ridiculous as Jack decides to go to a poker game Tommy invited him to, instead of rushing to marry Betsy as they came to Vegas to do. He says he’ll just be an hour, but obviously he stays much longer and she gets upset while shopping for her dress and all her shoes and stuff because she is a woman and just shops and shakes her head disapprovingly while she waits to get married. Brynn O’Malley is great in the role, really lovely and a strong singer, but she must have to do some serious readjusting of the brain pan after every show. I hope that she has a sign over the mirror in her dressing room that says “You are a worthwhile person and not just as currency!” or something like that.
So as the poker game goes on and on, this one song obviously called “The Game” goes on and on, and showgirls hold up enormous playing cards to show the men’s hands. It’s all just so ridiculous and yet so enjoyable. That’s the basic summary of this show. Anyway, they get to the part of the song when they sing “Straight flush!” and “Jack of diamonds, queen of diamonds, king of diamonds…” etc. as the notes get higher and higher. I really love that JRB wrote that. So Jack bets more money than he has and OMG I just realized why her name is Betsy, because she ends up standing in for his bets or something I wonder if the writers did that on purpose or if that’s just a really wonderful coincidence??? Yes so Jack loses $58,000 even thought he had a straight flush to the king, because Tommy had a straight flush to the ace. Yeah that is totally realistic and would ever possibly happen in a million years. No, we learn later Tommy obviously cheated.
Without the money to pay his losses, Jack is pretty forlorn and torn apart. Luckily! Tommy says heyyyy, how about we come to an agreement – this is the song called “An Agreement” – where I get to borrow your fiancée for the weekend? And Jack says absolutely not, that is disgusting and wrong! But Tommy has all that Terry Benedict charm and convinces Jack that it’s the only way to not lose Betsy, because if she found out how much money he lost, she would leave him anyway. So it’s worth a try!! No, it’s really not.
When Jack tells her what has happened, Betsy is obviously shocked and mortified and she refuses to be treated as currency, but then she gets reminded that she is a woman and that she only matters so far as the men say she does, so she agrees. I don’t know, it makes sense during the show but then when you think about it you are like whaaaaaaaaaaaaat. So she goes to Hawaii with Tommy, who like owns an island, and Jack is like what? You can’t take my fiancée to Hawaii! And Tommy’s people are like, well you only had parameters on the timeframe, not the location. Boom! Lawyered!
Jack realizes he was a total idiot and he flies to Hawaii to save Betsy from her lovely weekend with Tommy, who is nice but so sleazy. He even hired people to pretend to be his relatives so he would look good. And of course he lies about how much money Jack actually lost; when Betsy mentions the $58,000, Tommy says “Is that what he told you? He only lost $800!” or something horrendous that you’d assume Betsey wouldn’t believe, or that she’d at least be suspicious, but she is like drunk and really likes the pineapple in Hawaii so she believes him. Meanwhile, Jack tries to find Tommy’s house but Tommy pretty much owns everyone and everything on the island and he planned ahead to make sure everyone does their darnedest to keep Jack distracted if he followed them. The weakest part of the show is when the local Hawaiian, Mahi, yes that is her name, tries to seduce Jack in the jungle in a song called “Friki Friki.” I don’t know if I have ever cringed so hard during a song in a show. I wish they cut that. The rest of the audience seemed to like it though, somehow.
While Jack is being led all over tarnation by Tommy’s people, Tony Danza is inexplicably getting more and more ballads to sing and Betsy is getting drunker and madder at her spineless fiancé, so she agrees to marry Tommy. Okay monster man. They immediately fly back to Vegas. Jack finds out, and – in the most important scene of the movie and therefore of the play – hitches a ride back to Vegas with a troop of Flying Elvises, with his only option for landing being to skydive with them. It’s the best! I wish the show’s budget had had room for a more impressive skydive display, but then again it is happening on a stage, so it’s okay. The Elvises are a lot of fun, and Rob does his best Cage impression when he yells ‘BETSY!!!!’ and even though these Elvises are skydiving and landing who knows where in relation to the Las Vegas Strip, Betsy obviously hears him and runs up to him because we like things to be realistic. They reconcile and apologize and yada yada yada they get hitched and it’s all really happy and fun and that’s the show, folks. You really should see it.
Six the Musical: Divorced! Beheaded! Live! And Here to Save British Musical Theatre
It’s Theatre Thursday! Today’s show is the new musical Six, playing at London’s Arts Theatre.
Longtime Laughfrodisiac readers (or people who have spoken to me in real life for more than five minutes) have heard me bitch and moan about the sorry state of British musical theatre before, and often. The only great shows for literally decades came courtesy of Andrew Lloyd Webber (and he wasn’t immune to some straight-up horseshit), and a random few from Elton John (Billy Elliot) and Tim Minchin (Matilda). Matilda premiered in 2010, so that’s almost a decade without a great new British musical. And people wonder why I always say musical theatre is better on Broadway. While that’s still true, finally, forking g-d FINALLY, a new, original, fantastic musical written by Brits has arrived. It seems what the world of British musicals needed wasn’t another old white man (honestly when has that ever been the answer), but two young Cambridge students ready to make their mark before even graduating (I know, I hate them too). Six the Musical is a girl-power retelling of the stories of Henry VIII’s six wives, a concert-style show that is fast and furious in its remarkable ability to share history through modern pop music that is funny, inspired, and absurdly catchy.
From just the tagline – “Divorced, Beheaded, Live!” playing on the famous rhyme for remembering how the wives died – I knew this was going to be fun, but I was not ready to be blown away by the brilliant music. The six wives, onstage with their all-female band, are outfitted in the coolest of costumes, a shiny modern slant on medieval garb, kind of like it’s Halloween and they decided on ‘sexy Tudor.’ They’ve gathered now to have a sort of contest, to see which of them suffered the most and ‘wins’ that dubious title of most unfortunate of the six wives, kind of like how Monica won the title of giving the best bad massages. As soon as they begin singing “Welcome to the show, to the histor-remix” I was like OH DIP (because I speak like Jason Mendoza as a rule now), WORDPLAY, this is going to be spectacular. And from that opening number, “Ex-Wives”, I was enthralled and honestly elated at how good the music was.
From the opening onward, the lyrics are clever and the music is fun and memorable. Throughout all of it, there are amazing nerdy history jokes peppered in, which, as nerds, we adored, and straight up historical lessons on things we never knew. Since English people are super nerdy about knowing and loving their history (would be cool, America!), there’s an immediate sense that everyone is sharing inside jokes, which is a surefire way to solidify audience engagement and enjoyment, and guarantee positive word of mouth. In fact, this is the first show in a while where the audience was so engaged that there wasn’t much extraneous chatter or phone use, which is a g-d miracle.
Pretty much every musical number – and since it is a concert-style show, it’s a series of musical numbers with limited dialogue in between – delivers, with the badass energy of “Ex-Wives” continuing into the first solo, Catherine of Aragon’s (Jarneia Richard-Noel) “No Way”, about how she was not about to give this jackass the annulment he wanted. “No Way” is one of the catchier songs, one I could see being played on the radio (it’s even on my running playlist). It is a forking great time and Richard-Noel has a blast with it. The girl-power vibe remains into the second wife’s solo, but in a much different way. If you know your history, you know that second wife is the most famous one, Anne Boleyn. Where Catherine #1 had self-assurance, Anne goes for cheeky and trades in on innocent-seeming adorableness to gloss over anything she may have done wrong in the funny “Don’t Lose UR Head”. Definitely the millennial character of the bunch, Boleyn (Millie O’Connell) sings how she’s “sorry not sorry bout what I said…I didn’t mean to hurt anyone, lol.” It’s a bold move to show Boleyn as a naughty young girl trying to make her actions seem cute, and I liked that even though she’s the most famous wife, she doesn’t get the most attention or development. We have more interesting wives to learn about.
Like Wife #3, Jane Seymour, or as the other wives mock her, “the only one he really loved.” To have a needed break from all the loud fast songs so far, Jane gets the slow Adele-like power ballad about her “Heart of Stone”. Natalie Paris does a fantastic job with this well-placed song and gets to really show off, while selling a convincing and honestly heartbreaking take on why she wasn’t lucky just because Henry loved her. I love that this show makes you reconsider all of your assumptions about these women. Like Wife #4, Anna of Cleves. First of all, I always thought it was Anne. Second of all, obviously liberties were taken, but I adore thinking of her as having made out like a g-d bandit after Henry divorced her. In her hilarious song, “Get Down”, Anna (a great Alexia McIntosh) says since Henry divorced her rather quickly because she wasn’t actually as hot as she looked in her profile pic (erm, oil painting), she put up with a few months of his crap until he divorced her and then she got to live like a queen for the rest of her life. Not a bad deal at all, she admits, taking herself out of the competition with her proud acknowledgement that her life post-Henry was theeee shit. And nothing is funnier and more perfect than the group number introducing Anna – “Haus Of Holbein”. In it, we learn how Henry turned to Germany for his next wife, and what better way to tell us than in a spot-on spoof of a German club anthem, absolutely hysterical and perfect.
Of course, Anna was the lucky one, and after he divorced her he was right back to treating his wives horribly. Next came Katherine Howard, my favorite of the bunch, with her incredible number “All You Wanna Do”, which has her channeling Ariana Grande while bragging about her promiscuous past in the beginning and then turning it into a devastating post-mortem on how her whole life was about being used and abused by men. Aimee Atkinson, with this show since the beginning, was the standout for me, and in one song she achieved the kind of character development most shows dream about. It doesn’t hurt that this song has some of the cleverest lyrics, and the greatest use of the phrase ‘birds and the bees’ maybe ever.
With all these truly amazing songs, it was inevitable that there would be a slight dip in quality, and that happened when we got to the sixth wife, Catherine Parr (Courtney Stapleton, on as alternate). She didn’t get to really shine as the others did, because her song is the weakest. It also ends abruptly as she decides to change their focus, so it’s not as crucial to have strengthened since it segues into a group number. And that group number is pretty moving, as the wives decide to change their perspective, and ours. Maybe instead of regarding them as being famous just because they were married to Henry, they say, maybe we should consider that hewas only famous because he was married to them. Whenever you have a show that sets out to be ‘girl-power’, it runs the risk of pandering for applause, and while they came close to that line, the way they presented this discussion saved it.
The downsides are few: For one, the sound in the Arts Theatre isn’t great. It’s a tiny almost-black box of a theatre, with acoustics that do not measure up to what a West End theatre should have. It was often hard to make out the extraordinarily clever lyrics, which is a shame, because they are extraordinarily clever. Whether it was solely due to the sound engineering or a mix of sound issues plus enunciation needs, I don’t know, but it would be wise to shore up the clarity on either front. My only other issue is that, because it is so strong, it’s a shame it’s not a full-fledged book musical. With equal focus on six different characters, you’d think they would have had trouble cutting it to a suitable length for modern audience’s attention spans. Instead, it presents the opposite situation, with an adoring audience eager for more. At 75 minutes, it’s great that it never overstays its welcome – always leave them wanting more, I guess – but it could easily take another 15 minutes, flesh out a few of the more superficial characters, and still be a breezy show. But I guess it’s best to count our lucky stars that there is nary a weak moment in this show, and that the audience was fully rapt (and off their phones, praise be) the whole time, so who am I to dare risk all that magic? Six is a joyous, provocative, inspired show and I will gladly see it again and again, which is something I have never said about a British musical.
INFORMATION
The Arts Theatre is tiny, so it is a madhouse in the lobby. The bathrooms are tiny so get in line early. This is one show where it’s fun to be super close.
