Vegan Guide to Michelin Restaurants: Lyle's, London UKby Randi / August 1, 2016
I have not allowed myself to have such high hopes for an original London production in a long ass time. Why did I make the exception for “Groundhog Day”, the new musical based on the iconic Bill Murray film? Because it a) stars Andy Karl, one of my faves from Broadway, and b) was written by Tim Minchin, who wrote the last London musical that met or exceeded my expectations, “Matilda”. It’s also at the Old Vic, which is renowned in its renown. While “Groundhog Day” didn’t bowl me over, it was a solidly good show and a fun time. Also, it’s really nice to see something different and original (though not “original” if you catch my drift) on the West End. (Does Old Vic count as West End? I still don’t understand the demarcations of what’s London’s Broadway/off Broadway. I mean I traveled west for it.)
“Groundhog Day” tells the really tragic, depressing, horrifying tale (but comedy) about Phil Connors, a suave, egotistical (in the show) Pennsylvania weatherman (yebop!) covering that beloved Pennsylvania traditional holiday, Groundhog Day. But instead of getting to leave the tiny village of Punxsutawney, PA after the little beaver-squirrel looking animal sees his shadow (or not) and predicts an early spring (or 6 more weeks of winter), Phil instead wakes up every. single. day. in the same place, in the same rented room in Punxsutawney, and it’s still Groundhog Day. He is doomed to live the same exact day over and over, no matter what he does. It’s pretty frightening and anxiety-ridden and can you even imagine. If you don’t know the story of “Groundhog Day”, you really should go watch the movie, because it is a fantastic movie. Just consider how original and provocative and wrenching that storyline is, and then try to tell me that it’s just some Bill Murray comedy and not one of the best screenplay ideas like ever. Then consider how ‘experts’ online (all of us, really) with lots of time on their hands and math in their brains figured out that, for Phil to have learned all the skills he learned (like become an incredible pianist), read all the books he read, memorize all the information he learned, &c, he would have been stuck in the loop for more than 100 years. A HUNDRED GODDAMN YEARS, waking up in Punxsutawney and knowing everything that was going to happen. You would die. Phil, as you know, tries to kill himself a whole bunch of times (and ways) but it doesn’t stick. Nothing sticks. He keeps waking up as if nothing happened. God that is absolutely hell. This movie is about hell.
REAL TALK PSA: When the actual real talk about Groundhog Day (the holiday) and all the accompanying traditions began, the audience laughed. Not at jokes, just at the exposition of establishing the setting: that we’re in Punxsutawney (do you realize how hard it is not to keep typing Pennsatucky?), that old men dressed in period costumes wait to see if a groundhog sees its shadow, that the area where this all goes down is called ‘Gobbler’s Knob’, these kinds of things that are ACTUAL FACTS. The audience cackled at these. Then we realized, holy shit, British people do not have ANY CLUE that this is all 100% accurate. Holy shit. They think this holiday and all these WACKY ASS traditions were made up as part of a comedy movie to get some cheap laughs. Oh especially Gobbler’s Knob – these bros sitting near us could not get over Gobbler’s Knob, because knob is slang for their (raisin-sized I bet DO YOU EVEN LIFT BRO) manparts. I mean, why would people outside of the USA know of this tiny cultural phenomenon in this tiny ass village in Pennsylvania about an animal that is sort of a beaver sort of a squirrel seeing its shadow TO PREDICT THE WEATHER? If something like this happened in England (I’m sure there are equivalents) hell if I’d know anything about it, and I live here now.
This was all confirmed last weekend at a wedding. We were seated across from a very nice couple (letsbefriends!) who had seen the evening show the same day we saw the matinee of “Groundhog Day”! How f-ing random is that! I like to think that the grooms hacked the computers of all the guests to see who had calendar appointments that reflected similar tastes and/or plans and then made the seating charts accordingly. Okay no I don’t like to think that at all but seriously how did they know? So this couple consisted of one Aussie and one Brit, and in talking about the play, we asked them if they thought Groundhog Day was a made up thing. They were ASTOUNDED that it was real. OF COURSE WE THOUGHT IT WAS MADE UP, they positively shouted in disbelief. Are you KIDDING ME?? HOW CAN THAT BE REAL? It went on. They were flabbergasted and hysterical about it. The programmes for this show really by all means need to have a piece inside about how this is a real holiday. They have all other kinds of crap in those programmes that we have to PAY for AND have to spell with extra m’s and e’s so the very least they could do is educate their audiences about small-town USA.
Okay let’s maybe talk about the actual show a bit because you know what, it was good! It was not fantastic; I wanted it to be fantastic. I want everything to be fantastic. But you know what, not everything can be fantastic. I saw so much fantastic stuff in the past year so the bar was really insanely high for the world premiere of a new show. I strongly believe that, after the run in London, its eminent move to Broadway will be for a much tighter, more exciting, more edited show. That’s what pre-Broadway runs are for, to make necessary changes and see what audiences respond to and what needs work. I mean, unless they don’t change anything because audiences are jumping to their feet every show, so we’ll see. I hope they make some changes.
Actually, honestly, I don’t know what they could change on the small scale, because the only really disappointing thing was the score! The acting was wonderful (we’ll get to that), the book was really f-ing hilarious at times, the set was fine (more on that later), the NUMEROUS shout-outs to Penn State were great (so many ensemblists in PSU gear!!!), so really, the score is what needs work. And the score is usually the last thing to undergo huge overhaul, because, well, it’s the cornerstone of a musical. But the score is what was I would want worked on here out of the whole of the show. Well, the music was; the lyrics were clever, as you’d expect of Tim Minchin (who I must admit I know primarily because of the genius that is “Matilda”). Yet we know he also writes beautiful and provocative music. If I heard the music without knowing who wrote it, Minchin would be the very last composer I would guess. It felt very blah. I remember not one part of one song. And that is usually the test for whether a score will catch on in popularity – whether audience members walk out at the end of the show humming any bits to themselves. It shows something hit them and stuck. But guys, I didn’t remember how songs went immediately after the songs themselves ended. Like 2 seconds later, not the usual gauge of ‘after the show ends’. That’s crazy. It just felt uninspired and more like ‘generic musical’ than the challenging genre-bending stuff a creative show like this needs. Husband and the wedding couple, however, disagreed, and they all thought the score was fine. But I am right.
Even with a lackluster score, the show was highly enjoyable. Why? Andy Karl. Le sigh. Andy Karl is a fantastic stalwart on Broadway, having starred in “Legally Blonde” (not as Elle) like DECADES ago it feels like, and then went on to star in “Rocky” (which was panned but I liked!), “Unfinished Dickens”…that’s not it…um…OH “The Mystery of Edwin Drood”, “On the Twentieth Century” with Kristin Chenoweth which he was AMAZ in and wore the nicest suit my husband really liked it (he has good taste), and now finally is starring on the West End (I’m just gonna go for it). His impeccable comic delivery lifts every inch of this show higher and higher and turns some whatever lines into things that made us cackle hysterically. Not joking, hysterically. The book and lyrics really had some hilarious parts, and his timing made everything even better. In one of the early songs, before he realizes he’s actually stuck in a time loop and is still acting very cocky, he sings blah blah I’m leaving, “suck my balls I’m outta here”. Ridiculous in a musical! And hilarious when delivered, because he is magicked. Something I laughed at way too hard was in this flashback sort-of number, a duet with an old flame. As they reminisced about their fling, with Phil remembering one thing and then the woman repeating the line, one time she didn’t repeat so much as paraphrase and I couldn’t stop laughing: Phil sang something about their picnic “And we ate half a pound of pate” and the woman responded, “We ate way too much pate”. It was so stupid but something about their delivery made us laugh so hard. The funniest ensemble scene (because everything Andy did in the early stages of Act I was top notch hilarity) came as a montage of doctor visits. As Phil begins freaking out about his circumstances, he goes to see every doctor imaginable to see if there’s a medical explanation for his predicament. One is a Scientologist who tells him to read Dianetics; one is this great red-head-dreaded nerd; and the best ‘doctor’ tells him he feels like he’s reliving the same day over and over because, you guessed it, he’s allergic to gluten. It was so funny!
One thing I don’t understand is how this show cost so much. It’s rumored to have cost $16.5 million, which isn’t out of the ordinary for a Broadway musical nowadays, but I am pretty sure is unusual for the West End and the Old Vic. I expected that money to be put to good use, but I would not have guessed from the set that it was so expensive. The sets were good and very appropriate, but nothing stood out as being anything more than standard set design. The opening used projections (on the curtain), the best use of projections I’ve yet seen (because it was supposed to be television), but I doubt that was that expensive. Seriously, I don’t get it! Was Minchin expensive? I kinda hope Karl is making bank but I doubt it. Just flabbergasting. I also really am curious why previously attached producer Scott Rudin (god he has a hand in EVERYTHING) walked.
The coolest thing design-wise, however, maybe was worth all the money, although it was really just stage magic and not things that cost lots of money. When Phil starts spiraling into a depression, he tries to kill himself. I mean, he succeeds, but then he just immediately wakes up starting the day over. He kills himself again and again and again, tries every way imaginable, but keeps waking up. It’s really incredibly morbid. But, this production makes this whole section of the story absolutely mind-blowing because we see Phil die in some way, but then an instant later Andy Karl sits up in the bed at 6:00am. It first became noticeable that this was some incredible stage work going on when Phil takes the head from a guy wearing the groundhog costume, puts it on, and then steps in front of a truck. Honk, crash, 2 seconds pass and Andy Karl sits up in the bed on the opposite side of the stage. People started applauding. I kept trying to follow Andy himself to see what was happening but it was seriously magic. Lots of doubles and trapdoors, I’m sure, but also magic. This was definitely the most impressive part of the physical production. I really want to know how they were doing this!
The only parts I thought were actually bad can be easily fixed. Well, maybe not easily, but they are fixable. First of all, I’ve talked in the past about how important rousing Act II openers are, because you need to get the audience re-engaged after checking out for 20 minutes. It’s really important to quickly gain some of the momentum back that was lost at intermission. Well. I hate to say it but I think Groundhog Day’s Act II opener was the worst one yet. It was performed really well, and done nicely, but seriously, WHAT THE F. The girl playing Nancy, the ‘hot’ chick that Phil picks up early on, sings the song, alone, about how she grew up thinking about Barbies and beauty standards and is doomed to just be seen as the hot one all her life when there is more to her. Now, of course, that’s a sentiment I will not condemn, and she sings well, but the entire song I was staring wide-eyed asking WHY?? This is a character who had maybe 1 line in Act I and has maybe 1 more line in Act II, so why on EARTH does she have a whole song to herself? We barely knew anything by this point about Rita, the female lead (Carlyss Peer, who is good but in an underwritten role so doesn’t shine really until the end), but this tiny ensemble character begins Act II? DOES NOT COMPUTE. Give Andy another song ffs! Or Rita! Or, really, do what I thought was happening before Nancy moved on to Verse #2 – make it a song where every ensemble member sings one verse about who they are, the people Phil never gets to know about. That would be interesting at least, to give every single townsperson the chance to say one little thing that Phil will never learn no matter how long he interacts with them. But a whole song for Nancy? PUH-LEASE. It made me really mad.
Luckily, something else happened soon after that made me even madder!!! This wasn’t the fault of the show at all, but of the audience. Ned Ryerson, that great old classmate who recognizes Phil but also annoys Phil so much that sometimes Phil punches him, was just as good here as he is in the movie. However, later on, when Phil starts trying to be a decent person, Ned shows him pictures of his family, and Phil says, “Whoa, is that your wife? She’s hot.” And Ned replies, “She was.” And the lad-filled/ignorant audience CACKLED hysterically because they thought Ned was saying that his wife is no longer hot. But no you drunk pale-ass simpletons, he was saying that SHE’S DEAD. We were horrified for the cast and for humanity that so many audience members just assumed bro-humor. It was really atrocious. I think perhaps this can be fixed if they change the word ‘hot’ to ‘beautiful’ maybe? Or something softer? Because lads hear the word ‘hot’ and it primes their brain into lad-humor mode, so maybe that would work. I don’t know, it’s not the show’s fault but they do need to address that this sort of misunderstanding should not be allowed to keep happening. Oh humanity is so scary sometimes.
Thank goodness those are the only real standouts for badness. The show as a whole is a wonderful effort, really enjoyable and with the potential to be really great. It does need some editing to move to Broadway, and just to be the best it can be, so I hope its producers aren’t babies about making those changes. I would really like more development for Rita, who I understand can’t really be a fully fleshed out character until Phil starts trying to see others as full-fledged people, which happens towards the end of the show, but still, give her something better than the songs she has about how she is a woman. Let’s just say you can tell men wrote this.
Question: Why didn’t Phil ever try to leave the town before the storm hit, like as soon as he woke up? I wonder what would have happened. Is it just because he couldn’t get anyone to drive him? Because I’m sure he stole a car or two during his 130 years stuck in this loop. Also, how did he not lose his mind? I would have in 5. At the end, when he realizes SPOILER that it’s actually a new day, he stares at Rita so long in silence that was incredibly powerful and actually made me cry. But hot damn, if this were realistic, he would have been absolutely driven clinically insane by now.
Anyway, see it if you can because Andy Karl is amazing, it’s a new musical that is really quite good and well done, and then hopefully when we see it in a year or so it will be even better. Also Andy better be nominated for an Olivier.
AUDIENCE
Ugh. See above. At least no phones rang or lit up in my field of vision, but lad-duos were talking to each other THE ENTIRE TIME. Like these guys who don’t go to the theatre often were so excited to see the play of the movie they like, but they didn’t bother behaving properly. I almost punched heads.
STAGE DOOR
Andy came out really quickly after a matinee! I was so happy! He was so nice! I didn’t wait for anyone else but bumped into some chorus members on the street and they were very nice and appreciate when I said heyyyyyyy.
REAL TALK PSA: When the actual real talk about Groundhog Day (the holiday) and all the accompanying traditions began, the audience laughed. Not at jokes, just at the exposition of establishing the setting: that we’re in Punxsutawney (do you realize how hard it is not to keep typing Pennsatucky?), that old men dressed in period costumes wait to see if a groundhog sees its shadow, that the area where this all goes down is called ‘Gobbler’s Knob’, these kinds of things that are ACTUAL FACTS. The audience cackled at these. Then we realized, holy shit, British people do not have ANY CLUE that this is all 100% accurate. Holy shit. They think this holiday and all these WACKY ASS traditions were made up as part of a comedy movie to get some cheap laughs. Oh especially Gobbler’s Knob – these bros sitting near us could not get over Gobbler’s Knob, because knob is slang for their (raisin-sized I bet DO YOU EVEN LIFT BRO) manparts. I mean, why would people outside of the USA know of this tiny cultural phenomenon in this tiny ass village in Pennsylvania about an animal that is sort of a beaver sort of a squirrel seeing its shadow TO PREDICT THE WEATHER? If something like this happened in England (I’m sure there are equivalents) hell if I’d know anything about it, and I live here now.
This was all confirmed last weekend at a wedding. We were seated across from a very nice couple (letsbefriends!) who had seen the evening show the same day we saw the matinee of “Groundhog Day”! How f-ing random is that! I like to think that the grooms hacked the computers of all the guests to see who had calendar appointments that reflected similar tastes and/or plans and then made the seating charts accordingly. Okay no I don’t like to think that at all but seriously how did they know? So this couple consisted of one Aussie and one Brit, and in talking about the play, we asked them if they thought Groundhog Day was a made up thing. They were ASTOUNDED that it was real. OF COURSE WE THOUGHT IT WAS MADE UP, they positively shouted in disbelief. Are you KIDDING ME?? HOW CAN THAT BE REAL? It went on. They were flabbergasted and hysterical about it. The programmes for this show really by all means need to have a piece inside about how this is a real holiday. They have all other kinds of crap in those programmes that we have to PAY for AND have to spell with extra m’s and e’s so the very least they could do is educate their audiences about small-town USA.
Okay let’s maybe talk about the actual show a bit because you know what, it was good! It was not fantastic; I wanted it to be fantastic. I want everything to be fantastic. But you know what, not everything can be fantastic. I saw so much fantastic stuff in the past year so the bar was really insanely high for the world premiere of a new show. I strongly believe that, after the run in London, its eminent move to Broadway will be for a much tighter, more exciting, more edited show. That’s what pre-Broadway runs are for, to make necessary changes and see what audiences respond to and what needs work. I mean, unless they don’t change anything because audiences are jumping to their feet every show, so we’ll see. I hope they make some changes.
Actually, honestly, I don’t know what they could change on the small scale, because the only really disappointing thing was the score! The acting was wonderful (we’ll get to that), the book was really f-ing hilarious at times, the set was fine (more on that later), the NUMEROUS shout-outs to Penn State were great (so many ensemblists in PSU gear!!!), so really, the score is what needs work. And the score is usually the last thing to undergo huge overhaul, because, well, it’s the cornerstone of a musical. But the score is what was I would want worked on here out of the whole of the show. Well, the music was; the lyrics were clever, as you’d expect of Tim Minchin (who I must admit I know primarily because of the genius that is “Matilda”). Yet we know he also writes beautiful and provocative music. If I heard the music without knowing who wrote it, Minchin would be the very last composer I would guess. It felt very blah. I remember not one part of one song. And that is usually the test for whether a score will catch on in popularity – whether audience members walk out at the end of the show humming any bits to themselves. It shows something hit them and stuck. But guys, I didn’t remember how songs went immediately after the songs themselves ended. Like 2 seconds later, not the usual gauge of ‘after the show ends’. That’s crazy. It just felt uninspired and more like ‘generic musical’ than the challenging genre-bending stuff a creative show like this needs. Husband and the wedding couple, however, disagreed, and they all thought the score was fine. But I am right.
Even with a lackluster score, the show was highly enjoyable. Why? Andy Karl. Le sigh. Andy Karl is a fantastic stalwart on Broadway, having starred in “Legally Blonde” (not as Elle) like DECADES ago it feels like, and then went on to star in “Rocky” (which was panned but I liked!), “Unfinished Dickens”…that’s not it…um…OH “The Mystery of Edwin Drood”, “On the Twentieth Century” with Kristin Chenoweth which he was AMAZ in and wore the nicest suit my husband really liked it (he has good taste), and now finally is starring on the West End (I’m just gonna go for it). His impeccable comic delivery lifts every inch of this show higher and higher and turns some whatever lines into things that made us cackle hysterically. Not joking, hysterically. The book and lyrics really had some hilarious parts, and his timing made everything even better. In one of the early songs, before he realizes he’s actually stuck in a time loop and is still acting very cocky, he sings blah blah I’m leaving, “suck my balls I’m outta here”. Ridiculous in a musical! And hilarious when delivered, because he is magicked. Something I laughed at way too hard was in this flashback sort-of number, a duet with an old flame. As they reminisced about their fling, with Phil remembering one thing and then the woman repeating the line, one time she didn’t repeat so much as paraphrase and I couldn’t stop laughing: Phil sang something about their picnic “And we ate half a pound of pate” and the woman responded, “We ate way too much pate”. It was so stupid but something about their delivery made us laugh so hard. The funniest ensemble scene (because everything Andy did in the early stages of Act I was top notch hilarity) came as a montage of doctor visits. As Phil begins freaking out about his circumstances, he goes to see every doctor imaginable to see if there’s a medical explanation for his predicament. One is a Scientologist who tells him to read Dianetics; one is this great red-head-dreaded nerd; and the best ‘doctor’ tells him he feels like he’s reliving the same day over and over because, you guessed it, he’s allergic to gluten. It was so funny!
One thing I don’t understand is how this show cost so much. It’s rumored to have cost $16.5 million, which isn’t out of the ordinary for a Broadway musical nowadays, but I am pretty sure is unusual for the West End and the Old Vic. I expected that money to be put to good use, but I would not have guessed from the set that it was so expensive. The sets were good and very appropriate, but nothing stood out as being anything more than standard set design. The opening used projections (on the curtain), the best use of projections I’ve yet seen (because it was supposed to be television), but I doubt that was that expensive. Seriously, I don’t get it! Was Minchin expensive? I kinda hope Karl is making bank but I doubt it. Just flabbergasting. I also really am curious why previously attached producer Scott Rudin (god he has a hand in EVERYTHING) walked.
The coolest thing design-wise, however, maybe was worth all the money, although it was really just stage magic and not things that cost lots of money. When Phil starts spiraling into a depression, he tries to kill himself. I mean, he succeeds, but then he just immediately wakes up starting the day over. He kills himself again and again and again, tries every way imaginable, but keeps waking up. It’s really incredibly morbid. But, this production makes this whole section of the story absolutely mind-blowing because we see Phil die in some way, but then an instant later Andy Karl sits up in the bed at 6:00am. It first became noticeable that this was some incredible stage work going on when Phil takes the head from a guy wearing the groundhog costume, puts it on, and then steps in front of a truck. Honk, crash, 2 seconds pass and Andy Karl sits up in the bed on the opposite side of the stage. People started applauding. I kept trying to follow Andy himself to see what was happening but it was seriously magic. Lots of doubles and trapdoors, I’m sure, but also magic. This was definitely the most impressive part of the physical production. I really want to know how they were doing this!
The only parts I thought were actually bad can be easily fixed. Well, maybe not easily, but they are fixable. First of all, I’ve talked in the past about how important rousing Act II openers are, because you need to get the audience re-engaged after checking out for 20 minutes. It’s really important to quickly gain some of the momentum back that was lost at intermission. Well. I hate to say it but I think Groundhog Day’s Act II opener was the worst one yet. It was performed really well, and done nicely, but seriously, WHAT THE F. The girl playing Nancy, the ‘hot’ chick that Phil picks up early on, sings the song, alone, about how she grew up thinking about Barbies and beauty standards and is doomed to just be seen as the hot one all her life when there is more to her. Now, of course, that’s a sentiment I will not condemn, and she sings well, but the entire song I was staring wide-eyed asking WHY?? This is a character who had maybe 1 line in Act I and has maybe 1 more line in Act II, so why on EARTH does she have a whole song to herself? We barely knew anything by this point about Rita, the female lead (Carlyss Peer, who is good but in an underwritten role so doesn’t shine really until the end), but this tiny ensemble character begins Act II? DOES NOT COMPUTE. Give Andy another song ffs! Or Rita! Or, really, do what I thought was happening before Nancy moved on to Verse #2 – make it a song where every ensemble member sings one verse about who they are, the people Phil never gets to know about. That would be interesting at least, to give every single townsperson the chance to say one little thing that Phil will never learn no matter how long he interacts with them. But a whole song for Nancy? PUH-LEASE. It made me really mad.
Luckily, something else happened soon after that made me even madder!!! This wasn’t the fault of the show at all, but of the audience. Ned Ryerson, that great old classmate who recognizes Phil but also annoys Phil so much that sometimes Phil punches him, was just as good here as he is in the movie. However, later on, when Phil starts trying to be a decent person, Ned shows him pictures of his family, and Phil says, “Whoa, is that your wife? She’s hot.” And Ned replies, “She was.” And the lad-filled/ignorant audience CACKLED hysterically because they thought Ned was saying that his wife is no longer hot. But no you drunk pale-ass simpletons, he was saying that SHE’S DEAD. We were horrified for the cast and for humanity that so many audience members just assumed bro-humor. It was really atrocious. I think perhaps this can be fixed if they change the word ‘hot’ to ‘beautiful’ maybe? Or something softer? Because lads hear the word ‘hot’ and it primes their brain into lad-humor mode, so maybe that would work. I don’t know, it’s not the show’s fault but they do need to address that this sort of misunderstanding should not be allowed to keep happening. Oh humanity is so scary sometimes.
Thank goodness those are the only real standouts for badness. The show as a whole is a wonderful effort, really enjoyable and with the potential to be really great. It does need some editing to move to Broadway, and just to be the best it can be, so I hope its producers aren’t babies about making those changes. I would really like more development for Rita, who I understand can’t really be a fully fleshed out character until Phil starts trying to see others as full-fledged people, which happens towards the end of the show, but still, give her something better than the songs she has about how she is a woman. Let’s just say you can tell men wrote this.
Question: Why didn’t Phil ever try to leave the town before the storm hit, like as soon as he woke up? I wonder what would have happened. Is it just because he couldn’t get anyone to drive him? Because I’m sure he stole a car or two during his 130 years stuck in this loop. Also, how did he not lose his mind? I would have in 5. At the end, when he realizes SPOILER that it’s actually a new day, he stares at Rita so long in silence that was incredibly powerful and actually made me cry. But hot damn, if this were realistic, he would have been absolutely driven clinically insane by now.
Anyway, see it if you can because Andy Karl is amazing, it’s a new musical that is really quite good and well done, and then hopefully when we see it in a year or so it will be even better. Also Andy better be nominated for an Olivier.
AUDIENCE
Ugh. See above. At least no phones rang or lit up in my field of vision, but lad-duos were talking to each other THE ENTIRE TIME. Like these guys who don’t go to the theatre often were so excited to see the play of the movie they like, but they didn’t bother behaving properly. I almost punched heads.
STAGE DOOR
Andy came out really quickly after a matinee! I was so happy! He was so nice! I didn’t wait for anyone else but bumped into some chorus members on the street and they were very nice and appreciate when I said heyyyyyyy.
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It’s Oscars Weekend! Predictions & Thoughts on the Academy Awards
The Oscars are Sunday! Prepare by reading about the important films here.
I shouldn’t be surprised that the absolute shitshow of our society has extended its reach to the Oscars, my favorite thing, but here we are. The 91st Academy Awards will have the inauspicious repute of being the ceremony that went from bad to worse for no good reason. If anyone knows Donna Gigliotti and Glenn Weiss, the Oscars producers, and John Bailey, the Academy president, I hope you show them this to read and then give them a lollipop so those babies feel better after I’m done. Guys, the FORK is wrong with you? You’re in the entertainment business but can’t think of a comedian other than Kevin Hart? I’m not even going to list potential comedians who would have been better – and who are not homophobic assholes (or the shortest man in America) – because it’s endless. Yet instead of finding a decent, funny human to host, you decided that the longest awards ceremony, the one that famously becomes untenable halfway through, didn’t need a host this year. Were you trying to make a pissy little statement about how much you love Kevin Hart and hate tolerance, because that’s the only thing that anyone gets from your behavior. Why are idiots in charge of literally EVERYTHING?
My favorite part is that after everyone already hated your decision, you doubled down on how wrong you are for this job and decided that not all the Best Song nominees would perform, only the ones you really liked. That’s some real unfair bullshit, to the viewers and to the nominees. And then just for shits and giggles you decided to cut the cinematography, editing, and makeup awards from the telecast, not like those things are important for movies or anything. Best of all, Queen & Adam Lambert (who I love, don’t get me wrong) are now set to perform a Queen medley on the telecast – even though none of those songs are nominated, even though there supposedly wasn’t enough time for actual nominated songs or crucial awards to get on air, even though Bohemian Rhapsody is not a good movie yet y’all keep acting like it is. What is going on at the Academy HQ?
The whole shebang now reeks of desperation and incompetence. I am absolutely beyond hysterical at the idea of Jose Andres – yes, the chef – presenting one of the Best Picture nominees. I assume it is going to be Roma and that this came about because Donna and Glenn were like “oh it’s about Mexico, didn’t we just meet a Mexican recently? Oh no, we had Mexican food. Let’s have a Mexican food maker present it! They probably know each other!” Jose is Spanish, not that they care, and a food maker is called a chef, Donna.
Hopefully, the winners won’t be as big of a mess as the show is, but that’s a really high hope considering the nominees are a g-d mess to begin with. We’ll get into that as we discuss the main categories – the only important ones, as Donna and Glenn taught me – below, but suffice it to say, it’s a shitshow. Remember to read about the big movies of the year before the show starts (on Sunday, 8pm EST, ABC).
Below, I’m going to list the nominees not in alphabetical order but in order of how I would be voting, with my pick at the top, because that’s who I am and that’s who I care about.
BEST PICTURE
BlacKkKlansman
A Star is Born
Green Book
Roma
The Favourite
Black Panther
Bohemian Rhapsody
Vice
Will win: Roma
Should win: BlindspottingI can’t remember another season where the actual best film of the year wasn’t even nominated, so that’s why my ordering might seem a little weird. No, I don’t think BlacKkKlansman is the best picture, but it’s the most deserving out of these. Spike Lee’s latest joint tells a riveting true story with a little humor, a lot of tension, and with a pointed reminder of how forked America is right now. It’s a good-to-great movie but its purpose and importance to our society right now is what pushes it over the top and gets my vote. I adored A Star is Born and wish it was doing better this season (it came out too early and lost momentum). However, it takes my second spot and not the top because it’s not the year for an all-white romance to win. We need a political film to win. I enjoyed Green Book the most, and honestly can’t wait to watch it again just for Viggo’s stellar tah-yen slang, but I get that it’s a problematic white-focused race movie, which is not what we need right now. The winner will most likely be Roma, which I found pleasing to watch (and it will definitely win for cinematography, and should) and interesting yet lacking in any real story, especially for what’s now the frontrunner. Such a weird year, guys. What should be up there is the nearly flawless Can You Ever Forgive Me?, and it’s ludicrous that it’s not nominated. But it’s not as ludicrous as the snub for what was actually the best film of the year and the one that would be actually worthy of winning this award: Blindspotting.
BEST DIRECTOR
Alfonso Cuaron: Roma
Yorgos Lanthimos: The Favourite
Spike Lee: BlacKkKlansman
Pawel Pawlikowski: Cold War
Adam McKay: Vice
Will win: Alfonso
Should win: Bradley Cooper
Can’t believe I have to keep typing his name: McKayIt is BEYOND (burger) insanity that Bradley Cooper was snubbed. Sure it was his first time directing, and he’ll be fine, but his work on A Star Is Born deserved this recognition. He would have been my choice to win this award. I have already written at length (I know, at very length) about Vice and about how much I just freaking want to slap Adam McKay across the face, but even if you liked that movie I can’t see how it’s sloppy rough direction impressed you.
I would be happy if Yorgos, who is always gonna Yorgos, won, because he seems like just the coolest guy. I was terrified of him from seeing his movies, but after listening to his interview with Marc Maron (on his WTF Podcast), I have to say I’m a huge fan of him now. He is responsible for taking The Favourite, which began as a straightforward period piece, and turning it into a super fun absurdist comedy. He deserves all the credit if you liked that film; he made it happen. But Alfonso gets my vote out of this crop, because his work on Roma is truly magnificent. Even if you don’t like the movie (I’m not saying he should win for screenplay), it’s undeniable that he created a visual masterpiece, with every single frame considered and important to his story. Sure we might not all agree on what the story was or why it was all important, but it’s clear that it’s a masterclass in direction (and cinematography, which he will/should also win).
BEST ACTRESS
Melissa McCarthy: Can You Ever Forgive Me?
Glenn Close: The Wife
Lady Gaga: A Star is Born
Olivia Colman: The Favourite
Yalitza Aparicio: Roma
Will win: Glenn Close
Should win: Melissa or GlennThis is definitely the hardest category for me this year, because it’s such a great one. I can’t think of anyone I would sub in. I know it looks like I didn’t enjoy Colman’s performance or that I wouldn’t be happy voting for Gaga, but I would be thrilled for any of the top four to win. All five were great performances, but I think it’s safe to say Yalitza’s was a surprise and she should be honored by the nomination. As for the top four, they would all be deserving winners. In other years, they could each be the standout. Lady Gaga’s debut as a leading lady was more than anyone expected or could have hoped for. She, like every part of A Star is Born, was just right. Olivia was hysterical and frightening and pitch perfect, and I’m glad America is finally noticing how great she is. If forced, I would have a hard time choosing between Melissa and Glenn, when both were spellbinding in wonderful movies. Melissa has proved to be one of the best actresses working right now, a delightful surprise, and she keeps surprising us with every new role she takes. Glenn, we’ve known how amazing she is for like a century now, but she rarely gets the acclaim she deserves. She’s been nominated six or seven times and hasn’t won, so I hope she wins just as much as I hope Melissa wins. Glenn’s role was mainly throwing mystifying looks, and she did a phenomenal job, but for my vote the edge goes to Melissa for disappearing so completely into her performance.
BEST ACTOR
Viggo Mortensen: Green Book
Bradley Cooper: A Star Is Born
Rami Malek: Bohemian Rhapsody
Christian Bale: Vice
*Didn’t see: Willem Dafoe: At Eternity’s Gate, but I love him and I bet he’s RG.
Will win: Rami
Should win: Viggo or BradleyChoosing between Viggo and Bradley is surprisingly difficult! I didn’t realize before this very moment that I would have a big struggle on my hands if I were an Academy voter. Bradley was perfection, and has been ever since he played Jenny Garner’s friend on Alias, cementing his place in the history books with his epic recitation of the words “I’m here, she’s here, we made it!” I love that Bradley worked on deepening his voice with a vocal coach for two years before filming his movie. I love everything about his work on A Star Is Born. But my vote would probably go to Viggo because seriously, I forgot that he was Viggo Mortensen. He’s played RULLY scary characters, like in most of his movies, yet in Green Book he became the most lovable (if slightly racist but THEN HE GETS BETTER) goofball and every single word out of his mouth made me pee myself laughing. I forgot all about his work in A History of Violence (yikes!) and his sauna fight in Eastern Promises (double yikes and ow!) and instead I was hundo p watching one of my relatives talking bout faccia brutes and stoonads. He was AMAZING. He should be getting so much more acclaim. Rami was wonderful, don’t get me wrong, but I feel like at least 70% of his performance was the fake teeth and it was just so distracting. Also, it’s hard to win me over with a character based so much on musical performance when it wasn’t him singing. Lastly, I found Bale’s performance to be more an impression of Dick Cheney, with some Batman thrown in, instead of an interpretation.
BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS
Rachel Weisz: The Favourite
Emma Stone: The Favourite
Regina King: If Beale Street Could Talk
Amy Adams: Vice
Marina De Tavira: Roma
Will win: who tf knows, probably Regina?
Should win: Rachel WeiszI know, I know. Amy Adams is the Danny Burstein of the Oscars, and NEITHER of them should be. Amy Adams is incredible in everything, but I just didn’t feel her performance in Vice. It wasn’t that she was so unlikable; I honestly wanted her to be more unlikable. It just didn’t feel cohesive to me. I couldn’t pin down what her Lynne was supposed to be. I wish she could win this year for Arrival; now that was an Oscar-worthy performance (and movie). I would absolutely vote for Regina King if Beale Street was composed of just two scenes – the incredible early scene with both families and the one in Puerto Rico – but other than that, she didn’t seem to be in it very much. I wish they used her more, because she was the best part. And I would be happy for her to win, absolutely, but the two gals from the Favourite were the best, and Rachel was the best best. Her role was the most important to the film, and she was, like gum, perfection.
BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR
Richard E. Grant: Can You Ever Forgive Me?
Sam Elliott: A Star Is Born
Sam Rockwell: Vice
Mahershala Ali: Green Book
Adam Driver: BlacKkKlansman
Will win: Mahershala Ali
Should win: Richard!!!It boggles my mind that Mahershala has been leading this awards season. He’s fantastic, don’t get me wrong, and he is solid in Green Book, but except for that one climactic scene in the rain, his character was stoic and deadpan most of the time, not exactly the stuff of Oscar-winning performances. I just don’t get how that performance has risen above the others so far. My favorite supporting actor this year is without a doubt Richard E. Grant, who owns every frame he’s in in CYEFM with a captivating charm. He’s hilarious, he’s disconcerting, he’s infuriating at times, and he’s likable throughout all of it. I would vote for him in a heartbeat. My second choice is a little harder to make, because both Sams were wonderful. Elliott couldn’t NOT be in A Star Is Born; he was the most perfect choice for that role. I just wish he had more to do (like, as I’ve said before, be shown taking care of the dog at the end so we didn’t have to worry), but what he did have he did so incredibly well. Rockwell, always wonderful, is doing what Christian Bale doesn’t do – an interpretation instead of an imitation – and his W is pretty terrific. Mahershala and Adam are great, and always are, but neither role felt special enough.
BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY
A Star Is Born
Can You Ever Forgive Me?
BlacKkKlansman
If Beale Street Could Talk
The Ballad of Buster Scruggs
Will win: BlacKkKlansman
Should win: A Star is BornThe only thing, literally the only tiny thing, stopping me from rooting for CYEFM is that it did the thing I hate at the end, where the character ends up writing the story we just saw. I forking hate that. The first time someone did that, I’m sure it was cute and everyone was like ‘oh wow I didn’t see that coming’ but now I’m like could you maybe trust the story enough to skip the cutesy ending? (I hope Jennie Snyder Urman is reading this.) Other than that, it would be my choice for such a tight, fantastic script. But as things stand, I would be voting for A Star Is Born, for how it took a classic/old story and made it relevant and interesting again. But I’m fine with BlacKkKlansman winning, obviously, since it was such a strong film. The last two would not be on my short list.
BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY
Green Book
The Favourite
Roma
Vice
Didn’t see: First Reformed
Will win: The Favourite
Should win: BlindspottingThis award is often the real Best Picture award, and I love when the most deserving original screenplay actually wins even more than I do for any other category. Probably because I think the writing is the most important part of anything. But this year it won’t be the real BP. I get why The Favourite is such a good choice, and a likely winner, but it bothers me a tad that one of its writers is the one who wrote the original dry period piece that is nothing like its end product. I mean, she should still be recognized, it’s just weird that like, this isn’t the movie she wrote. If anyone should be recognized for the success of The Favourite, it’s Yorgos for seeing its potential to be another of his weird ass projects. My vote out of this bunch would be Green Book because I honestly enjoyed it so much, and I want whoever wrote the stage direction “Viggo cradles the motel telephone and folds up an entire pizza like a burrito and houses it” to win an Oscar. The fact that Vice was nominated over Blindspotting, or over anything, is a real low-point of the season. Also, Bo Burnham’s Eighth Grade – which freaking WON the Writers Guild Award – should be up there as well. What is wrong with voters? (for anything?)
BEST ANIMATED FEATURE
Spider-Man Too: 2 Many Spider-Men
Incredibles 2
Isle of Dogs
Mirai
Ralph Breaks the Internet
I saw literally none of these.Anyway, I’m pretty tired from thinking about how messed up this year’s Oscars are so I’m gonna stop here. If you are doing an office pool or something, ask @millytweet on twitter for whatever I didn’t cover. This is the first year where I’m not too sad to be missing the telecast. Without the host’s monologue or a fun opening song about all the nominees to look forward to, I don’t think I’ll lose anything by reading the results the following day. THAT’S SAD. I hope I’m wrong. Honestly, the only thing I really care about is, if the documentary RBG wins, that RBG herself gets a statue. It would be forking bullshirt if she didn’t, considering the best thing about that movie was the footage of my queen talking and also she deserves every award. You hear me, Academy? Uhh STOONADS!
‘I Love You, You’re Perfect, Now Change’ Filmed at London Coliseum: A Great Example of How to Film a Stage Show
It’s Theatre Thursday! Well last night was, for the press night of the new filmed theatrical production of I Love You, You’re Perfect, Now Change, from Lambert Jackson Productions and the London Coliseum, available to watch for this weekend.
The new filmed stage production of Joe DiPietro & Jimmy Roberts’ musical I Love You, You’re Perfect, Now Change, directed by Kirk Jameson, is the rare streamed production of the past year that made the most of its dual status as both a stage show and a film. It still felt stagey, with all the raw edges and intimate casualness of theatre, but made the most of being pre-filmed, with quick changes between settings, costumes, and characters amplifying the short vignette style of the show. The style let each scene feel like a unique story despite only using the four actors the show calls for.
I Love You, You’re Perfect, Now Change (that’s the last time I’ll type that whole title out) is the 1997 Off-Broadway musical consisting of vignettes – mostly very funny, some sad – about love and relationships. From dating to marriage to widowhood, the musical shared insights into universally felt moments of hilarious cringe from the dating scene as well as semi-poignant thoughts about long-term relationships, in a way that audiences heavily related to, at least in the ’90s. Some parts are dated, from the opening number’s line about Sweet’N Low and Half & Half (I swear tg I have not heard about Sweet’N Low since my dad stopped stealing them in bulk from the deli in the year 1999), to the entire scene with the divorcee making her video for the old VHS dating services (which I had to explain the existence of to my husband, my knowledge of course coming from that one episode of Full House where Joey makes one in the basement). This production modernizes other parts, as recent productions have, inserting necessary lines about phone apps and swiping in certain directions, as well as replacing one original scene with one about dick pics. Although I don’t mind shows embracing the times they were written in, I also didn’t mind these fairly innocuous updates to avoid being too much of a period piece.
Luckily, the humor I remembered from this show remained. (Although, at the beginning I got nervous. I didn’t quite get the framing device, with the creepy church sounds and vampire movie music. We did this show in college, and I did not remember anything spooky or creepy, so the first minute or so of Halloween noises and sermons made me question all my memories and experiences but fortunately it segued into fun musical theatre pretty quickly.) From the first awkward date to, well, the next awkward date, because the awkward dates provide the funniest material, the show made me laugh quite a bit. It’s super quirky (that’s the The Word for describing it), often weird af, and overall enjoyable, especially with the help of a great cast. Simon Lipkin (replacing Trevor Dion Nicholas from the initial announcement and I haven’t found out why yet and I hope Trevor is okay because what a guy), who is always a riot even as a creepy carnival barker (Assassins, not Carousel), is in top comedic form here, especially as the lawyer in the “Satisfaction Guaranteed” scene, something perfectly suited to his goofy-yet-intimidating-yet-fun schtick. Oliver Tompsett, another one of our fave West End guys, comes off equally well as long as he’s not saying ‘lasagna’ in a, what, Chicago? accent? Please don’t. His scene with Alice Fearn as two undatable nerds realizing they’re perfect for each other is a great show of zero ego (he looks ridiculous) and all talent.
Alice Fearn and Brenda Edwards get to show off as well, playing virtually the entire range of adult female character types. Their duet “Single Man Drought” was one of the definite highlights of the production, with their strong voices and stage presence convincing you it was a power anthem despite the context of the material.
A dip in energy came from the end of the first ‘act’, with the scene of the gay couple that felt vaguely homophobic, like very 1990s with the ‘acting gay’ thing (also the baby talk-into-sort-of-rap was a musical low point, woof), through the wedding and into the married couple vignettes, probably because the dating world is just funnier than the married world. Married problems are serious and sad! But the steam picked up again with the other highlight of the night, Tompsett’s gorgeous “Shouldn’t I Be Less in Love with You?” I mean, it’s like Cassidy Jansen was off in the wings about to forgive him for screwing up Romeo & Juliet by belting her face off. (That’s an & Juliet joke.) This one song and his performance ended the typical second act doldrums of many musicals from this era. Just beautiful.
The final scene of the widows meeting at a funeral was objectively sad in content, but it didn’t capture the emotion it aimed to. Something about it felt off, maybe a bit forced to have us immediately need to form an emotional impression of characters we have no connection to, and also yeah Lipkin sounds like a pretty Jewish name but his old New York Jew impression still felt…wrong to me. But with the joyous, catchy finale and its wonderful four-part-harmony introduction to the title song (once you get past the creepy church noises again), the show ended on a pleasant high note. Overall, it’s a solid production of this quirky (there we go again) show that tries to be goofy and ridiculous as often as it tries to be serious and important, where overall it just makes for a pretty good time.
