“Three Tall Women” on Broadway: A Magnificent Revival for the Agesby Randi / June 24, 2018
I have a theory, and it’s not about people who live in Lake Erie, although I have been listening to the cast recording of “Bandstand” a lot lately. (I have to throw some bones to the theatre readers when it’s not Thursday.) I think the most vegan-friendly cities are places that are extra-trying to show how progressive they’ve become since their not-so-great pasts, whether consciously or not. In Europe at least, the places that were hit hardest during World War II, whether literally by being destroyed or politically by falling prey to fascism, have been incredibly vegan-friendly in my experience. When I’ve been in Berlin, for example, with its endless vegan signs and tattooed yoots and overall sense of freethinking and tolerance, it seems like the people are on a particularly passionate mission to prove that they’re no longer Nazis, and with that sort of progressive thinking comes veganism! I got the same vibe when I was in Warsaw, Poland, which was decimated by the Nazis during the war as we learned last week. Warsaw’s rebuilding after the war came with sort of a rebirth similar to Berlin’s, and I was delighted to find that it is a bona fide vegan paradise.
We didn’t have too much time planned in Warsaw, because this was intended to simply be a quick stop off the train on our return journey from our months in Asia. However, as we left Kyiv, I finally looked into my food options in Warsaw. I had NO idea. My HappyCow app was blowing up and every place I found, I added to my list. We had time for maybe three meals and I had a list pushing 50! Luckily, we made fantastic choices and had some of the best meals ever. With all of its vegan options, Warsaw is at the top of my list for must-return-to cities, because there’s so much incredible-sounding food I didn’t get to try. Of course, I’d have to make return visits to my favorite two restaurants, which we’ll talk about below, so I’ll need a lot of eatin’ time on my next visit, or a bigger tumnus.
The counter at Organic Coffee Stare Miasto. They get right to the point with that name
Before we talk about those meals, I have to say how, with all the many options in the Old Town, vegan food is usually convenient. On the morning when we were meeting our walking tour, we had only a few minutes to find breakfast (it was early! it was probably not that early), and the closest coffee shop was a HappyCow entry called Organic Coffee Stare Miasto! They had a green smoothie for me! They also had a few vegan baked goods, like cookies (which we tried – twas decent!) and cakes. They had a very interesting sounding porridge kind of thing that I don’t remember too much about except that I would have had it if we had more time (I am not a cookie for breakfast person!) but anyway, it’s a great thing to know about since you can literally see Sigismund’s Column from inside. The smoothie was fine; it would have been better blended with ice but hey it was a green smoothie while traveling.
Okay, onto the stars of the show, the talk of the town. During the short break in between our day of INTENSE walking tours, we found ourselves close to a few lunch options: one of the burger chains Mango Vegan Street Food, or Veg Deli. The former is a popular, casual joint with burgers and fries that I’m sure are all great, but I am weird and enjoy healthier or at least healthier-seeming food more. And I needed vegetables!
Veg Deli gave off a sort of Scandinavian vibe, with its modern, simple, and clean interior and its slightly upscale menu. The options all sounded great, so true to form we over ordered, getting two starters and two entrees. First up was my choice, as it always has and always will be when they’re on a menu: salad rolls. Or summer rolls. Whatever you wanna call them; it’s veggies in rice paper rolls. I love them, which is weird because I usually hate everything with that gummy consistency. (Don’t you EVER double up on the wrapper to make it more durable, future restaurants. I’d rather the wrap break and everything pinata out then deal with mochi-like gumminess GAG.)
Red cabbage summer rolls
These were filled with red cabbage, mint, basil, coriander (that’s cilantro for non-Europeans), and avocado. So many herbs! So many good things. The sauce was, I wanna say peanut, which seems weird but hey I love peanut sauce.
Our second starter was the Mexican soup, with black beans and corn and so that makes anything Mexican. Very good!
SOUP GOOD
For our mains, I of course ordered the closest thing to a salad – this mess of greens and avocado with balls of some sort. Hehe balls. They were like cake-y bean-y beancakes or whatever and it was great. They went a little heavy-handed on the dressing, and that tomato is too big I mean look at it I am NOT going to eat that, but otherwise I loved this. My perfect kind of dish – greens, avocado, beany thing.
delicious ball salad
But Z always orders best, because while I get distracted by GREENS and SALADS he always zeroes in on the best thing on the menu, like these fried giant oyster mushrooms. Oyster mushrooms are THE SHIT(ake), and this dish was hella ethics as my man Pillboi would say. That white creamy sauce for dipping was PHUH NOM. I don’t know how they made it but it was not tofu or cashew, just thick fatty white cream gunk I don’t know it was delicious. And it came with fried spinach so it was well-rounded.
mushroom manna
That amazing lunch set us up nicely for the rest of our day walking all over tarnation learning about how horrible humanity can be. But if you can believe it, it wasn’t even the best meal I had in Warsaw. It’s not too far off from the lead, but I guess I’m a sucker for pierogies because I’d give the edge to the vegan town favorite Vege Miasto. I think miasto means city so it’s an appropriate name for what I took away about Warsaw, that and Nazis being so bad.
Vege Miasto’s claim to fame is that it’s doing traditional Polish food, but all vegan. Well it also has non-Polish food like wok-fried vegetable stirfy (wat) and spaghetti with pesto (huh) but stick to the Polish food since it’s such a treat to get it veganized. As we learned when I ate in Beijing by myself that time, I am obsessed with dumplings of all sorts, and that’s what pierogi are really, so in honor of the sequel coming out soon and starring CHER, (what), sing it with me “MAMMA MIA (2)! HERE WE GO AGAIN!”
anyone else’s first thought ‘OOH! DUMPLINGS!’ in the voice of John Mulaney’s former coworker when she says ducklings no okay
So Vege Miasto is FORKING AMAZEBALLS. Again, true to form guys, do you expect anything else from us, we ordered wayyy too much, so much that most of the non-dumpling dishes came back to the hostel with us (and did not get stolen! praise the yoots!). We got two of the five pierogi options (one is a sweet pierogi, like blueberries and tofu! so weird!), which can come pan-fried or boiled. I think we did one fried, one boiled. I prefer boiled. If I recall correctly (I probably don’t), we got spinach & tofu pierogi and cabbage & mushroom ones. All sooo good. The best part was that both enormous dishes of pierogi came with little salads! It’s like they saw me coming and were happy about it! Omg this was sooo much pierogi and I want it now! Is there anywhere like this in London? I guess I have to make them, and I do make very good pierogi (ask Z!) but it takes time.
HEY PIEROGI HO PIEROGI HEY HEY HO PIEROGI HEY HO PIEROGI THE FAMOUS TROIKA DRIVER
For our mains (lololololol), it was a hard choice but we went with super traditional Polish options of Buckwheat Crepes and the Cudak. The Buckwheat Crepes, oh man, these were CHOCK FULL of veggies which are my favorite kinds of pancake type things, AND it had a little baby salad in the middle too! THIS IS MY DREAM RESTAURANT! EVERYTHING COMES WITH SALAD! I’M NOT SHOUTING! The mini buckwheat crepes (BLIN) were topped with a tomato-based stew of chickpeas, kale, spinach, mushrooms, and then also pumpkin seeds and herbs and sprouts and it was hearty and earthy (anything with buckwheat is automatically earthy I guess) and delicious. I wasn’t a huge fan of the orange-y sauce that was also on top but everyting else about it was great. It’s extraordinarily filling too, especially after you have eaten dozens of pierogi, so we had that show that everyone tells us to watch. (Leftovers.)
BLIN!
Lastly, we got the Cudaki, because supes traditional. Talk about filling – these were halved potatoes stuffed with tofu, nuts, white cheese, spinach, tempeh and like 100 kinds of creamy sauces. Hot damn this was deeeelicious. Creamy potato things are delicious! And I adore tempeh, even just plain, so this bacon-y version of tempeh was a treat and worked so well in the dish. We ate like one potato. Damn it was good. And it came with a pickly salad, with marinated zucchini, carrots, pickles, and fennel. Such a smart salad for this super heavy dish.
I must add that Vege Miasto has a very impressive Main Salad section, and left to my own devices I probably would have ordered one and been happy but would have missed out on this traditional food! Thank goodness we made sure I wasn’t led to the dark side. Stuffed to the absolute gills, we nevertheless had to order dessert. I mean, LOOK at this dessert set up! Luckily they were able to pack up a few pieces of cake so we could eat them later without exploding, and since we were already taking home bags of food a few pieces of cake thrown in on top wouldn’t be a problem. We decided on the chocolate cake and the Bounty-inspired cake (Bounty is a famous coconut-chocolate candy bar). Here I made a fun little slideshow for you.
The Bounty cake was the best. Cake is good. I’ve been watching a few episodes of Susan Blackwell’s Broadway interview series, “Side by Side with Susan Blackwell”, and at one point she asks everyone the same five questions, including ‘Cake or Pie?’ and everyone always says Pie and she gets SO UPSET and screams NO ALWAYS CAKE! and I think we could really be friends.
At the train station the next day, I was excited to see this huge Juice Factory outpost in the center of the terminal. I got a Cleansing Green elixir – kale, avocado, parsley, kiwi. It says vegan on their sign! I don’t think they are all vegan but it’s nice to see.
So if you are planning a trip to Warsaw, a) bring me pierogi and b) get ready to eat so much delicious food! I’ll share a few places that were on my list but we didn’t have time for.
- Vege Bistro: more pierogi and traditional Polish food, veganized!
- Mango Vegan Street Food: the popular burger chain I turned my nose up at earlier but I do want to try it!
- Falafel Bejrut: falafel chain with locations around the city. There’s lots of other falafel outlets too, as it should be in every city.
- Hocio Vegan Hot Dog Truck: self-explanatory. I don’t even like hot dogs but I’d eat a vegan one from a food truck in Warsaw just to be like whaaaat fuck you Jurgen Stroop!
- Keboom: vegan kebab shop with three locations! What is life
- Krowarzywa: vegan burger joint with three locations! Again I ask you!
- Leonardo Verde: a vegan Italian place with lots of good reviews and pizzaaaa!
So that was my Warsaw visit, and I am now sooo hungry and sooo without anything resembling pierogi. Le sigh. I can’t wait to go back. I really loved this city and not just because of the food. I hope you want to go now!
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In case you missed it: WARSAW CITY GUIDE
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Khiva, Uzbekistan: More Ancient Sandy Sights and History
After our lovely time in Samarkand, we ventured to our next Uzbek stop of Khiva. Khiva would resemble Bukhara more than the others, in that it’s a contained little ancient town full of minarets and mosques and the whole damn thing is a UNESCO World Heritage site. Also, it was similarly dusty and dry and boring for modern travelers but interesting to see for history purposes. It’s unclear when exactly Khiva was established, but historians say it probably came about after Jesus was born like as a birthday present for him maybe. (Not that last part.) But in the past thousand or so years, the town has gone through several different ruling classes from various cultures. I guess they all kept thinking like I did, going ‘hmm this place seems interesting let’s rule it up oh wait everyone here is mean and it’s kind of blah let’s bounce.’
But before we bounce, we have to get there. From Samarkand, we had a midnight-ish train to Khiva. The lovely staff at L’Argamak Hotel in Samarkand let us hang out until we had to leave, even though that meant we were keeping everyone up. They were so nice I missed them immediately upon leaving. Our train was actually to Urgench, a city large enough to have a train station, because Khiva is a little wee sandy baby that is not and does not. Once at Urgench, we had a car waiting for us, arranged through Sultan at the Advantour tour company, who arranged all our Uzbek transit (recommended; you don’t want to deal with Uzbek train tickets or taxi drivers). I honestly don’t remember this overnight train, which means it had to be okay, right? Or I just was so traumatized that I blocked out all memories? No I think this one was uneventful, and uneventful is good.
The next morning, we met our driver for the ride to Khiva, and he was the best driver and communicator yet so I wished we had him for more than just a 30 minute ride (‘whether bright or melancholyyyyy rough and ready finely spun’ anyone??). He told us about Urgench and how many people live there and what they do and grow and it was nice! I think there’s cotton there.
So Khiva was originally full of Iranian people speaking an Iranian language. But then the Turks, those darn Turks, took over power in the 10th century. After the Turks got tired of all the mean people in the restaurants and all the French tourists, the Astrakhans had their turn. Then the Astrakhans went back to their preferred job of imprisoning wizards and Khiva fell into the hands of Russians, under General Konstantin von Kaufman in the 1800s. Russia was soooo nice though and let Khiva act in a quasi-independent manner, kind of like they are doing to the USA right now! I guess this is why you can get by speaking Russian in Khiva, although no that’s not it because it’s pretty regular all over Uzbekistan so maybe it filtered in otherwise; I’m sure they took over at various points in time and space. Anyway Khiva was part of the USSR in the 1900s and then it became part of the Uzbek Soviet Socialist Republic and now it is part of Uzbekistan and yes I am getting all of this from wikipedia but my husband donates to it (unlike the rest of us who see that message ‘we just need a dollar from you and then you can keep having access to all this knowledge that you regularly use just give us a dollar’ and we just click that black ‘x’ on the box and are like byeeees am I right up top) so I think it’s okay.
Khiva exists in two parts – the ‘modern’ part of town where people live and where there are like roads (barely) and markets (found one) and stuff, and the ancient inner town completely surrounded by walls. The inside walled part is the historical center, the important part for tourists, the World Heritage area. It’s called Ichan Kala, the walled inner town, and it contained more than 50 monuments of historical importance that honestly are like heavily unmarked so I don’t really know what I’m going to be sharing pictures of, just know that they are the historic important things. Luckily, wiki tells me that the most important parts of Ichan Kala are the walls and the gates, and I can’t mess up identifying those! Above is a gate! Wheee!
Right on the other side of the gate was our guest house, the Qosha Darvoza which no I don’t know how to say either but I do love u-less q words. I highly recommend this guest house for Khiva visits because the location is perfect – right outside that (north?) gate of the old town so it’s very close but not inside the ancient walls, which is important because inside is like an immediate uncomfortable trip back in time and you don’t want to sleep in that kind of place. Also who knows if there’s electricity? So the Qosha cabana is a great choice. The man working there was also one of three very kind Uzbeks we met during our time in the country so you will want to meet him because that’s like a unicorn in these parts. Also it had such a cool desert-chic vibe.
The courtyard/breakfast area, with the rooms surrounding it
outside the Qosha cabana
I loved the Qosha’s location because as soon as you left those front doors, you were surrounded by the sights. First, across the street was a beautiful garden that we enjoyed walking through as we went back and forth to the old town. It was the only pretty thing in Khiva!
omg why are you laughing you look like an idiot
I’m sharing this super embarrassing picture (where’s that PPK thread when you need it) because it’s so cool how you can see the ancient gate and walls of the city in the background! Once you enter those gates, it really is a whole other world, and Uzbekistan itself is a whole nother world too so when you’re in the Ichan Kala it’s like so many worlds removed from earth know what I’m saying. Once you enter the gates, it’s like a little bit of Mars or maybe Tatooine right? Here’s that same girl in the same dumb hat on the other side (I’m on the east side, I’m on the west side, I’m on the one side, I’m on the other side).
Note to people who like to not be broken, climbing these walls is a bit treacherous! You can pretty much scramble your way up to this first level and take a few steps, but don’t go too far because it is like from the 8th century and is not exactly a ‘path’. Also climbing up to the higher levels would require more than just the willingness to scamper; I think you’d need rope. Kinda skir kinda skir!
A few steps beyond the gate, we ran into construction on one of the major buildings, because we were in Uzbekistan and that’s what we learned to expect all over this country so why should this tiny protected town be any different.
According to the signs around the construction site (this they sign well but of course none of the historic sites have plaques or any info eye roll), a Chinese company was overseeing this work. We seriously considered going in without hardhats and seeing if they could feed us (god we missed Chinese food/non-Uzbek food).
After this point, the Ichan Kala land becomes a complete maze. It is full of winding little alleys and no street signs (they aren’t streets!) and buildings that all look the same, lather rinse repeat, so following a path or keeping hold of any sort of intention with your wandering is impossible. And filling all these alleys are children who have learned how to say ‘WHERE YOU FROM’ in the languages of the main groups of tourists who come here – English, French, German – and they will chase you and harass you and shout WHERE YOU FROM as long as they want. Kind of annoying! And they see how lost you look because who can follow directions in this sort of confusing sandy maze! So they will chase you and ask you if they can help you and ask for American money and we were like ‘we don’t have any American money we are in Uzbekistan!’ and they won’t care and will just keep repeatedly asking you for it and chasing you. If you persevere, you’ll make it through the shady part of the alleys and into the opening up of the tourist center.
screaming from the minarets
And if you make it into the tourist center of the old town, you make it to all the minarets and mosques and unmarked other buildings and LOTS of French people. This is the one place on earth I’ve been where the touts don’t lead with English, guessing that regardless of where you are from as a white person, you probably speak English, playing the odds that English will work. Here the odds are higher that French will work! They lead with French because the tourists here are mostly French! It was kind of cool to notice that difference. And to not be bombarded with nonstop shouts of ‘where you from’ and ‘here buy this souvenir’ in English was fun.
FRENCH PEOPLEEEEE
Strangely, despite how barren this section of the country seemed, the very center of the center of the old town was full of tourists and LINED with touts and souvenir stands, which was quite surprising. And kind of blew the whole ancient historical vibe that is the purpose of a visit to Khiva. And if you didn’t catch what I was saying before, everyone was kind of mean, except for our guest house man and like one guy at one restaurant we ate at. Over three days! It still is cool to see this old town center and all the buildings, but you could honestly get your fill in a few hours, not a few days, and preserve some of your sanity, patience, and good will towards men (although that’s no longer necessary, haven’t you heard, men are over).
screaming from the minarets
Some of the buildings are pretty cool! As you can see! But we’ve been looking at similarly blue tiled mosques for like yeeeeears now. They all have names and stories but they weren’t well marked and we were kind of over it, I’m sorry to say. But it happens with long-term travel! Or even short-term travel! Don’t feel bad!
We mainly wandered around the old town, got lost, got hot, got thirsty, and looked on with appreciation at all the old structures. We were planning to climb the minaret but the random lady who came out of nowhere and approached us as the guardian of the minaret (a suspicious thing that happened at least five times a day so far since arriving in Uzbekistan) gave us a price for the climb that just wasn’t worth it. But it was super hot anyway so pictures will suffice.
what you see what you see what you see what you see is human
My favorite thing in the old town was honestly this map of the Silk Road. It was exciting to see how far we’ve come, how much we’ve seen. And it gave us some much needed boosting in terms of morale to remember how epic this trip was.
I also liked this statue, of Al Khorezmi. Khorezm is the name of the region surrounding Khiva, and Al Khorezmi was a scholar who I’m gonna guess is the same as Al Khwarizmi, the famous Persian mathematician who is considered the founder of algebra. He does indeed look like he’s thinking hmm why on earth am I foisting this shit upon the world. No just kidding algebra is great.
Oh I want to say that this is the Jame Mosque, a) because I know that the Jame mosque has over 200 columns and this looks like it could be it and b) I just want to be able to name something in this post considering what a shit job I did of recognizing what anything was in the first place. The Jame mosque’s pillars date back to the 10th century, and you can walk among them while enjoying the one single space in town that provides respite from the heat and sun. Apparently there’s a carriage in here that was a gift from Tsar Nicholas (old friend!) to the khan but I don’t see it, do you.
As for food, I was able to navigate the same-old same-old menus in the old town’s tourist-friendly (but not actually friendly, as we’ve established) restaurants. The place I was excited for turned out to be the world because of the staff. I think it was called Cafe Kheizem, right at the main central toilets (yes there are toilets in the center!). It was disappointing because the waitress didn’t write down our order and so my most-wanted dish of stewed cabbage never came, and when I asked the staff about it (she was long gone by then) there was no receipt or anything to point to. UGH. Listen, if you are in the restaurant business, it is not impressive at all if the waitstaff can remember your order without writing it down. It’s literally the stupidest thing to try to do to impress us, because if it works it’s keeping things at base level competence, and if it doesn’t work well then your customers don’t get their food. JUST WRITE IT DOWN. I really wanted that cabbage too. I did have a salad of course and a cold noodle salad thing that we shared and they were fine but like so boring.
Khorezem Art restaurant, on the other hand, is the only one I can recommend because like I said before, the guy working wasn’t outright mean to us. And it was fine. And they have beans! I got all the little accidentally vegan dishes on the menu and it made a very satisfying meal.
So, we basically saw everything there is to see and then another three more times in one day. The next day, we slept super late and didn’t go back to go see the same things again till late in the day, which was nice. We spent some time enjoying Uzbek television in our room. The only thing we could understand was a children’s program that was teaching English. And yet we watched it.
We were set to leave super early in the morning, in another car booked with Sultan, to take us to Nukus (we will talk about that in the next post!). We checked out the night before since it would be so early, and told the Qosha Darvoza guys that we wouldn’t need breakfast that early since it would be too early for humans to eat. They were so nice that they wouldn’t let us skip breakfast, and instead they packed us a giant wine box full of an insane amount of dumplings (not for me but still, nice), water bottles (def for me!), bread, cucumbers and tomatoes (I know), pears, and cake. How sweet is that?! Yay for nice people! And it saved us from having to buy stuff for our train that night.
Everything else was bullshit though, and we’d have even more rudeness in our next stop. We were so sick of this country and how badly it wanted to screw with it, apparently, so we were kind of dragging ourselves from place to place and going through the motions. What a shame to feel this way when traveling in such far away, seemingly cool places! Well not everything can be a winner, and at least we saw some nice mosques and minarets and other old things.
Singapore Some Sugar on Me because I LOVE IT HERE
Recently* we took a gigantic trip to Australia, which is hella far away, and we faced the exciting decision of where to plan the layover between all the super long flights. To help with the expected debilitating jet-lag that comes with flying around the world all the way to the far end, we planned to spend a few days in our layover destination, so we wanted somewhere new and exciting (sorry Qatar) and somewhere we could easily enjoy with only 2-3 days without wanting to bag Aussieland and stay there forever (sorry Bangkok (we wuv u)). Out of all the options, Singapore easily won. All the interesting history, all the super rich people, all that amazing food, all that CLEANLINESS? Easiest decision ever! We were ready to be:
Singapore is a unique lil babe, known for its strict rules, diverse population, and incredible food. It can seem a little daunting if you only know it for headlines like “CHILD EXECUTED FOR SPITTING”, but as a tourist, it seems pretty nice. Yes the government needs to CHILL on a lot of things, and it’s not exactly a prime example of democracy, but that’s an issue for a different conversation (also I wanna go back so shhh). Its populace is a mix of mainly Chinese, Malay, and Indians, plus expats and workers from all over the world, making it culturally and gastronomically fascinating. Because of this diverse population, there are four official languages: Malaysian, Mandarin Chinese (which I took an intro class in last week and the Chinese professor said I had a knack for it and thought maybe I studied it before which readers and I surely find HILARIOUS considering my history with trying to speak in China), Tamil, and English.
Obviously we are happy for that last one given our mmm not so successful history with the Chinese yazik, but it’s the result of colonialism. Singapore was founded in 1819 as a British trading post by Sir Stamford Raffles. Then this poor lil bab was treated like a ping pong ball once the British East India Company collapsed: it was ceded to the British Raj (the British rule in India) and then occupied by Japan and then became part of Malaysia and then said peace to Malaysia and only became sovereign in 1965! I bet you have jeans you haven’t washed for longer than Singapore has been independent and that’s gross. Despite its age, Singapore has become a global economic leader (and a tax haven), as well as a leader in education, technology, innovation, safety, lack of gum, and throwing lavish parties for super rich people and hiring synchronized swimming teams to perform in rooftop pools even though literally no one is watching.
But first, let’s get there. To get over as much of the jet-lag as we could before continuing onto Oz (does anyone actually call it that, is this okay), we planned a solid three days in Singapore, which is both the country name and the city name, it’s a lil baby city-state, like rull small but it makes up for its size in per capita wealth (gross) and amazing food (amazing). Our flights from London took us through Dubai, which has the WORST airport for a fast transfer because you cannot find water or regular snacks, like sure there are luxury cars and jewelry for sale but what normal traveler actually needs that when you are going from one long flight to another in less than an hour? More like Du BYE BOY. Also, I find it super hilarious that the flight to Dubai is about 7 hours and then the flight to Singapore is another 7 hours! Shit’s far!
At first, I thought the coolest thing about this itinerary was that we’d have to fly Emirates, which I’d never flown but always wanted to because Bryan Safi always raved about how fancy it was on the “Throwing Shade” podcast and I guess because of JAniston’s commercials for them (though they always made me a little mad, like why is she doing airplane commercials (and ads for Aveeno and water?) after making a million $ per episode?? did she blow all her dough on pilates (it IS expensive but dayum Jen)). Suffice it to say, nothing has ever been as disappointing as Emirates was. Okay maybe not nothing but everything about it was a letdown except the bathrooms, which were normal. The service (atrosh), the comfort, the everything, all totally meh or worse. Yes we were in the economy trough and I am sure the first class extravagance is what makes it famous, but for regular people, Emirates is some overblown b.s.
When we finally got to Singapore, the smallest, coolest dot at the tip of Malaysia, the airport was so adorable it almost cured all my travel woes. Like most of Singapore, the airport was decked out for the Chinese New Year – and it was going to be the Year of the Dog. Can you imagine how happy I was after so much plane time to see these giant babies upon landing?
Because we are Serious Travelers, we took the time in our exhausted stupor to figure out the metro system to get into the city. It was frustrating – we had to go up and down many flights of stairs to get to the right ticket booth (it was early, things were closed) and then back up and down to go to the platform, but we did it. It was fine. People were looking at us, but we’re used to that. It was about a 15 minute walk from the metro station to our hotel, and once we came up from underground in the city we were greeted with some real heat. Coming from London in winter, the Singapore heat was perfection (almost making up for the inability to bring into the country what Chandler and I also consider perfection: gum (though of course I snuck a few pieces into my toiletries because I like to live dangerously) (but truth is officials don’t care as long as it’s a small amount for personal use)). We stayed at the Park Regis Hotel because it was nice, had a pool, and we could pay entirely with otherwise-worthless-for-Londoners Avios points. Unfortunately, we arrived at 9am and the room wasn’t ready until 3pm (!!), but we had access to the pool and the pool showers (and the wifi while we planned our day). Not a bad deal. It was a small pool, and it was so early that it was kind of chilly and windy by the water (and in the shade), but still, I can’t really complain about outdoor swimming in February (although yes I did just try to).
Once we were ready, we had a lot to see. As I said, we had just about three days to see Singapore, and for the cursory overview we were doing, it was the perfect amount of time. It’s a great place for a short trip as well as for multiple visits; I for one cannot wait to go back – but that’s mostly for the food, which will be a separate post (there’s a whole lot to cover).
A great introduction to Singapore is to do the river walk (the river is called the Singapore River, which is easy I guess but boring), winding through the various quays and into the well-known sights of Marina Bay. We began our meandering tour at Clarke Quay, which was close to our hotel and, more importantly, full of great food. It’s always nice to walk along the water and gaze upon the fancy hotels (so many), the grand museums (which, strangely, never came up in any of the Singapore recommendations we researched, leading us to uncharacteristically just skip museums), and the perfect blue skies.
The River Walk will bring you to Raffles Place, which good old Stammy Rafs established in the 1820s as the main mercantile district, called Commercial Square originally but renamed for Stams in 1858. Raffles Place became a popular shopping district as well as a commercial and financial center for the region. For at least a century, this was also where migrants established themselves. Many South Indian traders and bankers set up shop in this area. It was also home to Singapore’s only underground mosque, established in the 1950s so the many Muslims working in the area could pray, and now still underground in the basement of the UOB Plaza.
You’d think Raffles Place would be near the Raffles Hotel, or at least I thought that, but the famous hotel is north of the river in not the most convenient location. We visited the famous Raffles Hotel because that’s where you are supposed to get the Singapore Sling, the gin-based drink that the Raffles Hotel bartender invented there in 1915. It’s just the thing to do, to get one from where it was first made. Hilariously, it’s said that the bartender, Ngiam Tong Boon, created the drink so that all the fancy ladies could drink alcohol in public, so I guess it was like the early cosmo? appletini? only far garls! Unfortunately, we were greeted with this:
Raffles Hotel was closed! And FYI, it is still undergoing this extensive refurbishment and is not due to open until August! The original Long Bar was closed, with only a gift shop open where you could buy a book about the hotel and a kit for making your own? I mean not that I actually wanted the Sling anyway but it was a downer for the husbo to not get to do the done thing. Fie, Raffles.
Oh well, back to the water, which I will always prefer over alcohol. The river walk takes you past the iconic (their word but true) Fullerton Hotel (which seems like it should be extraordinarily expensive considering the location and the name recognish but I just checked and it’s like a decidedly decent value for how nice it is given the average hotel price in Singapore?? next time babies), which once upon a time was the General Post Office Building (noice) and was built literally just for centennial celebrations? (extra noice), and past all the banks’ skyscrapers and down into what you’ve been waiting to see – the Marina Bay, home of, well all the famous things but especially that iconic (my/everyone’s word) triumvirate of Singapore’s skyline, the Marina Bay Sands.
Oh let’s zoom out a little and let y’all see what it really looks like.
So many people! It’s just like China (but so much cleaner!). Even though this is a hotel (and a casino now), the Marina Bay Sands to me really is the quintessential image for Singapore. I mean that’s where Race Across the World had its big finish; you can’t argue with that! And you definitely can’t argue with the greatest movie ever made, Crazy Rich Asians, which also features the MBS prominently and has the aforementioned RIDONK synchronized swimming performance on that incredible/terrifying roof. SO FUN.
While I think of this as the unofficial symbol of Singapore (I mean given the financial sitch there it kind of makes sense that the symbol would be a super fance hotel), the official symbol – I’m sorry, ‘mascot’ – of Singapore is even better. It’s a MERLION. Perched right on the east side of the bay at the Downtown Core bit of the city, the merlion statue is a mythical creature (duh) with the head of a lion and the body of a fish. It’s used to represent Singapore and Singaporeans in tourism, branding, sporting events, everything. And it’s awesome, because hello, the national thang is a merlion? Only Scotland and its unicorn tops that!
Of course, continuing the trend that the Raffles Hotel started, the Merlion was UNDER CONSTRUCTION during our visit. This is like how people coming this year to London feel when they see Big Ben all covered up, except 1000x worse because Big Ben is just a dumb clock and this is a MERLION.
The city set up a smaller copy nearby so that tourists could still get their picture with the merlion, but it’s small and fake so it’s nice but also kind of a kick in the pants.
So, disappointing, but it’s hard to stay mad when you’re in this fabo city. I mean, look at how great the sign behind Faker Merlion is:
I also really enjoyed this sign on Cavenagh Bridge, even though I don’t really enjoy the feeling that a ‘u’ is missing from that name:
Behind the Marina Bay Sands is one of my favorite things about Singapore, the Gardens by the Bay. I love an immaculate man-made super weird yet pretty garden-park, what can I say. The GbtB is 101 hectares of land right smack in the middle of the city, with beautiful flower gardens and interesting conservatories. Kind of like a Kew Gardens if the creators of it had their Pimms before instead of after. It’s free to walk through a lot of it, and costs $28 (Singapore dollars) to go into the conservatories, like the Flower Dome and the Cloud Forest.
I love it!
Another day, we went into the Little India neighborhood, called Tekka in the Singapore Indian community. Contrasted with our experience of the downtown areas, the Indian neighborhood felt much more like a real city with real people living there, and not just working/visiting. Under the original Raffles plan for Singapore, ethnic Indians had to live in the Chulia Kampong region because Brits loved them some ethnic segregation/racism/being shit. That area became too crowded, and many Indians brought the overflow to what’s now this vibrant area. It may have developed around a former settlement for Indian convicts, but now it’s home to all kinds of people and businesses, as well as places of worship for several different religions.
It was hard to take pictures amid all the traffic but it was a really nice area to see. You don’t want to just stay in the shiny downtown.
When in Singapore, you’ll inevitably spend a lot of time in Chinatown, a hub of activity at all times but even moreso during Chinese New Year! We were fortunate to be there at this time of year (and it was the Year of the Cute Wittle Doggo Such a Good Boy) and Chinatown was CELEBRATING! It was so fun to see all the excitement and the random dance parties and all the decoration.
Chinatown is home to the Sri Mariamman Temple, the oldest Hindu temple in Singapore. Early in Singapore’s history, the temple gave refuge to Indian immigrants, and the temple had the only priests with the authority to perform Hindu marriages. If you won’t be in town for Chinese New Year, try to come in the fall, when the temple holds its super famous fire-walking ceremonies, where devotees walk on hot coals as a test of their devotion/skin burning point.
I didn’t get a great picture of the temple because of ALL OF THE PEOPLE but you can sort of make out how crazy cool the decor is, with the facade pretty much covered in statues and figures of gods and stuff.
Running through the heart of Chinatown is Smith Street, which we learned a forking harrowing lesson about thanks to some helpful/horrifying street signs. I love street signs giving information but dayum. So Smith Street, at the turn of the 20th century, was lined with brothels, like lots of them. The number of male immigrants far exceeded the number of female so brothels did a booming trade, but the prostitutes were subjected to a horrible life (#legalize) with no legal recourse when clients would almost certainly beat them, stiff them, and/or murder them. This unassuming street sign told us how men would usually just murder the women (prostitute and/or brothel owner) instead of paying. Since this was a living hell, many prostitutes killed themselves by jumping off buildings or overdosing on opium. COOL FACTS GUYS. now we all know.
Alright to cleanse the palate from that I’m going to share one food-ish picture, of my favorite thing, to remind us all that Singapore is full of wonderful things, not least of which is bubble tea!
Some of you know how I feel about bubble tea, and Singapore did not let me down. It was, rightly so, everywhere.
Funnily enough, even though we really enjoyed Singapore, the most memorable experience was waking up super early one morning to go to an Australian bar to watch the Super Bowl. I know, you’re like…wat? But the Philadelphia Eagles were playing (hence the * in the opening sentence when I said ‘recently’ but hey time is relative life moves at you fast &c) and that’s MY JAWN, B! This was the first time I watched the entire thing all the way through, and it was well rewarded with the Eagles winning! We made lots of friends that morning, with the bar entirely filled with American expats and tourists, just a hilarious experience.
It was pretty special to share such a random experience in SINGAPORE with a bunch of people from Pennsylvania (and a bunch of New Englanders too who got shown what’s what). I don’t really care about football and the NFL is MONSTERS but I’m still allowed to celebrate Philly mmker? Here’s a picture of my dog celebrating the Eagles’ win AND the Year of the Dog so you can’t complain.
We really enjoyed Singapore, even though we didn’t live it up like the craziest and richest of Asians but more like the normallest of travelers. There’s so much great stuff left to talk about next time – the food.
