Not a Fando of this Orlando at the Garrick Theatreby Randi / January 19, 2023(that means right now no lie)
Guys I had literally no idea what Watch on the Rhine was, so much so that every time I saw it in my calendar I thought that my husband was reminding us to watch something called “On the Rhine”. For like MONTHS. Very embarrassing for me, since it was a 1941 Lillian Hellman play (and 1943 movie) and I love Lillian Hellman but I guess that love was based on a very small too small sample size of her work. Regardless we stan a Jewish commie lady! This play came as you can see smack dabbadoo in the middle of World War II; Lillz was really like “gird your loins, world!” with this one.
We meet a rich family in D.C. whose grown daughter is coming back to her mother and old maid brother for the first time in 20 years after going to Europe and marrying a man named Kurt (OR IS HE) and having three amazing kids. They fled Germany probably because he’s prob Jewish and they might be (the names are! it’s unsaid! come on!) and really, it turns out, because he’s a professional anti-fascist and one of the top faces posted on Wanted signs around the Nazi offices. How it comes out is so good, with the old rich gramma being like ‘well we are all anti-fascist OBVIOUSLY’ (the obviously in the tone made me look around the audience to see who shifted uncomfortably) and the daughter was like ‘yeah well Kurt WORKS at it.’ So he’s on lists and shit and they had to flee and shit gets IN. TENSE. because there’s a Friend of Nazis named Teck (jfc) staying at the house who wants to cash in on what he knows.
Once I figured out whyyyy the leading lady, our Sara the returning daughter, was so familiar (it was because of It’s Complicated) (it’s a fantastic movie btw) (I really recommend it) (I love famous old people romcoms so much) I was fully taken into the drama and invested in the story. Sara and Kurt’s relationship was SO INTERESTING. They were madly in love with each other still but that was clearly predicated on having respect for each other as strong warriors for justice, so they were never gonna settle down and enjoy peace for a moment unforch no not ever. Teck (jfc) probably just sped up the process with the wrench he throws into their plans. This guy really does some excellent Nazi-friend acting, Naziing so hard in so many ways to play the bad guy but wow did he do it. The climactic scene where he explains calmly that he’s going to blackmail Kurt was SO tense and simmering so much that I think I actually gasped out loud when Kurt (finally) lunges for him and attacks him. (Actually…I think I said YES or LET’S GO so yeah I was REALLY INTO IT sorry (not sorry)). I love when Nazis get hurt! Here’s a great infographic that fits well here!
The cast was uniformly excellent (okay minus one but I’m not gonna name names), but what really struck me was how good the children were. Child actors are rarely tolerable, and no offense but what I’ve seen in this country is even worse than in the USA (I think it’s because of the West End’s child labor laws — there are too many protections, too many kids for each role, there’s no fear or suffering and you gotta have the fear for a good child actor.) (I am JOKING.) No but seriously these kids, especially the two boys, holy WOW. Some of the most believable, real, raw, honest acting I’ve seen in this CITY let alone from BABIES. In total awe. Poor little Bodo who was so smart and so funny and cute but still a baby, as they say, and poor little Joshua who acts so brave and so grown up because he has had to grow up too fast but he is still just a kid too. Ugh I’m gonna cry again give them all the awards it’s just not right that Back to the Future won an Olivier but not these kids. Also give them a hug.
Anyway considering how full-no-idea I was going in, I’m like full evangelical now about how strong this production of this super intense and smart and moving play is. If I gave star ratings I’d be giving five yellow ones.
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The Tony Awards are Sunday! Here’s What Should Happen
It’s the mooost wonderful tiiiime of the year! It’s Tony season! Well I guess it’s been Tony season; now it’s TONY WEEKEND! How pumped are you? How are you talking about anything else? The big Federer-Nadal match is over, no one is seeing Dark Phoenix, and the world is still going to shit so there is nothing more to do but sit back, relax, and let the joy of Tony Weekend wash all over you.
Until Monday morning, when we piss and moan about all the injustice of amazing performers losing arbitrary awards to equally amazing performers and all of them getting to do the best job on the planet, so unfair.
So what will I be pissing and moaning about in particular on Monday morning? A lot of things! Mainly, that here in the UK I can’t watch it live, but also that a few of my favorite performances probably won’t be rewarded; that Scott Rudin will add to his vast collection of trophies even though he’s a big dumb bully; and that Tony voters should have to see all the nominees in order to be Tony voters (you have one job; if you don’t want it, give it to me plz).
If Tony knows what’s good for her (yes, Tony is a girl!), she’ll do her level best to keep a few of those predicted complaints from happening, but most importantly she’ll put on one hell of a show and, with James Corden’s help, demonstrate to the Emmys, the Grammys, and the Oscars most years how to do awards shows right. Mostly, as long as Tony Toni Tone sticks to the whole underworld theme of the best shows this season (Hadestown is obvs about Hades and the underworld, and The Ferryman title refers to Hades’s ferryman Charon who rows the newly dead souls across the river Styx and into the underworld. POSS CROSSOVER EVENT?), things will be good.
I’ve already rambled on about the nominations and who should have been nominated (so read that post first if you haven’t already), so this one will be purely about the actual nominees.
Let’s start with the most important, since we all know these posts tend to go on and some of you never make it to the end. Yeah I see you! We’ll do all 3 big musical categories, the biggie plus score and book. Hadestown, as I’ve been saying since last year, is the best musical by far. It’s the only solidly great one, too, but even if it had great competition I can’t see anything surpassing it in terms of quality, uniqueness, and emotional depth. Most of its magic comes from Anais Mitchell’s incredible score, like nothing we’ve heard before, especially not on Broadway, which should absolutely win as well. A lot of voters want to award the good-hearted social message of The Prom for Best Musical, and while I understand that, there should be zero doubt about voting for Hadestown for Best Score.
And although it seems the vast majority of people still don’t understand what a book of a musical is, Mitchell’s flawless structure and creative twist on classic myths to tell this old-but-new kind of story should win Best Book as well. Tootsie will, because it has the most jokes, and that’s what people usually think of in terms of book: the script and how enjoyable it is. But it also has to do with the overall story and its structure and how it is told, and Hades tops the charts for all of that. Still, as long as Hadestown wins Best Musical and Score, all will be right.
While the current, feel-good-about-being-a-good-person musical The Prom is the closest competition, everyone absolute adores Ain’t Too Proud, which I can see being the real surprise, if such a surprise as Hadestown not winning Best Musical were to happen, but that would be some real bullshirt (it losing, not ATP winning). Oh and Beetlejuice isn’t winning shit; someone tell Warner Bros. they need a new head of their theatrical division (*cough* me *cough*).
Seriously watch this and tell me I’m wrong about this music. (And about the actors who should win.)
For those of us still salty over Chavkin’s loss for Great Comet, it’s not so much a wish that she wins now to make up for that as it is a wish that her directorial genius is finally rewarded for something equally astonishing. But the race is on between her and Daniel Fish, whose Oklahoma! is a complete and relevant reimagining of the dusty classic. But that one is divisive among all crowds, Tony voters included, and since it is going to win Best Revival of a Musical (a sure thing over the ya-basic Kiss Me, Kate), perhaps they will deem Fish’s (feeshees) work recognized enough with that. I hope so because I’d be front row center with a giant foam finger that says ‘CHAVKIN’ if I could.
Now that I’ve seen Gary, I have…still not seen all of them. But I can’t imagine anything taking this from the once-in-a-decade, sweeping, epic masterpiece The Ferryman. And nothing should. The Ferryman proves that it’s not about how long shows are (3+ hours); it’s about what you do with that time. I’ve seen other shows longer than 3 hours that barely accomplished anything and some 80-minute ones that were perfect. But this one, hoo boy, it told a full-blooded epic family and historical drama in one night and it was like reading a phenomenal book, so ingenious and well done.
This is Stephanie J. Block’s for shooo but I haven’t seen The Cher Show because the one weekend I had a free theatre slot, she was on vacation and I am not seeing that show without her. Anyway, I’m sure she’s amazing and I love her and all. It’s hard for me not to root for my queen (Kelli) but she is miscast in Kate. I’m personally still gutted by Eva’s performance (I told you I’d be raving about Hadestown this entire post/for my life, didn’t I? if I didn’t well I just did guys). But it’s the promenaders who pose the only real threat to SJB. Well one of them, Beth Leavel, who is also beloved in the community and has put in her time and is also giving a great performance. She is probably the #2 vote getter but if you ain’t first yer last, and SJB is first this season.
While I love all of the men on this list, this has to go to my OG (that stands for Original Greg), Santino. I guess it’s all down to whether he wants it or not, because we all know he could win one if he wanted to. (That’s a Crazy Ex-Girlfriend reference, for those of you still not living your best life.) Granted I am not seeing big ole Toots for two more weeks (don’t you DARE go on vacation OG) but it’s the kind of big, showy, entire-production-carrying role that does not leave its cross-dressing star empty-handed, especially when he does the impossible and stops audiences from comparing him to Dustin Hoffman. (The TBD star of the new Mrs. Doubtfire musical can only pray for the same result.) While all the nominees are such great ones, it seems Brooks Ashmanskas not only has the best name but also poses the biggest threat of an upset here, as the most likely win for The Prom (and, in my view, backpay for Martin Short’s 2006 Broadway variety show, still one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen). Although a huge part of me wants Lin-Manuel Miranda to one day be the presenter that awards Derrick Baskin his Tony, just so Derrick can reprise his greatest line of all time: “Well, well, well. If it isn’t Lin-Man-well, well, well”, this is almost surely Santino’s and it’s honestly the least Broadway could do for his returning to the Great White Way and thus incurring the wrath of Rachel Bloom.
What a terrible category for voters! All of these performances are truly deserving and would win in other years. Both Paddy and Bryan won Oliviers for these same roles, but Bryan will prevail here. He already won the best award of the year, the Drama League Distinguished Performance that goes to just one actor, across roles of all size and gender and musicality (as in, whether it has it or not) (I’m trying to say that plays and musicals are combined). It would be a shock if he doesn’t win this, but not like so sad because he is swimming in awards and we all like socialism now, right?
Six incredible actresses to choose from (and yet no Glenda Jackson, so weird right?) seems like a hard task but this is the biggest slam dunk of the night, the one with the most consensus – it’s Elaine May’s. She plays someone with Alzheimer’s which seems like this decade’s version of Ricky Gervais’s hundo p secret to winning an Oscar (doing a Holocaust movie), and so given that Ricky is the latest out-of-touch white man to be CANCELLED, it seems totes approps that that should change to this, especially given that May’s performance is what some Tony voters said (anonymously) was the best performance of any sort they’d literally ever seen.
This one is the one I am going to be most dismayed by, except not even ‘dismayed’ just like ‘oh that’s not who I would have voted for but still great, still great’ so…so that’s nothing, right. It’s neck and neck between Amber Gray and Ali Stroker, the two it should be neck and neck between. So they are both totally deserving but my vote would be for Amber because I am obbbbsesssssed with her Persephone and not just because my first acting gig was playing Persephone’s best friend who sees her get abducted by Hades (my big line: “Come ON, Persephone! We’ll never get to the beach if you stop to look at every flower!” and then Hades comes up from underground and snatches her away and I’m like “but the beach!” I was 8 years old I think.) So like Persephone is a part of me, you know??? And Amber is doing something so original (as she always does) and turning Persephone after many years of this nonsense into a quirky, sort of pissed off yet beloved queen and straight KILLIN it (as she always does) and her performance is so forking touching so I just really want her to win and also she is pumping during intermission every night because she has an infant and that is BALLER. But Ali is amazing and I’m so happy there is a place for her forever on Broadway now so like whatever they’re all great just everyone be happy and have fun I guess. I am going to the beach next week so that’s p cool.
THIS is the category that makes me happiest to not be a Tony voter this year, honestly, because I CANNOT choose between Andre and Patrick. It’s between the two Hadestown men, for sure, which scares me because a) they’re both so phenomental (that was a typo originally but I’m going to keep it because it is mental how phenomenal they are so yeah) and b) I’m nervous that the votes will cancel each other out and open the way for one of the others, which like fine they are all great and wonderful but it has to be Patrick or Andre. I think Andre gets it by the skin of his sweet potatoes, which sounds like a phrase that means something but I’m just remembering how at stage door he was eating sweet potatoes and we talked about healthy food and how important it is for him to nourish his body properly so it keeps functioning at peak human like it is in the show. Anyway, I love him and he’s my best good friend.
For the other categories: For featured actress in a play, Celia Keenan-Bolger is finally going to win the Tony everyone thought she was going to win for The Glass Menagerie, which is great because she is just the best. For featured actor, I’m rooting for Robin de Jesus because 1) he’s cool enough to make his twitter handle ‘Robin the Jesus’ which I laugh about at least once a week, and 2) I just love him and he’s SO good and should be in more stuff.
As for the show, I’m sure James Corden will do a nice job and do some big musical opener that lets him live all our dreams while he comes very close to tears and it will be big-hearted and joyous but not as shockingly impressive as NPH’s opening “Bigger” was because nothing could ever top that, ever. I’m sure some musical nominees will choose to do medleys, which like have you not learned how much medleys suck yet? I hope that Hadestown chooses to do “Why We Build a Wall” to make a killer political statement, but I don’t think it will, even though like, we have 30 years left tops, when if not now?
Most of all, I hope everyone reading this watches this year! They need to increase their ratings! Do your part and ensure that all the kids in podunk middles-of-nowhere see people like them exist! Enjoy!
Oscar Weekend 2017: Predictions and Wishes and Hopes and Dreams
The Oscars are Sunday! Are you so excited? Yes you are who’s a good boy! I won’t get to watch till Monday because they don’t air it in the UK and also sleep is nice, but I’m still feeling the buzz of Oscar weekend and all the excitement over what will happen, who will give great speeches, how the musical performances will be, whether the host will be funny. I honestly just had to look up who was hosting, I had no idea but I should have known it was someone named Jimmy. At least it’s not the one who is now dead to me but like maybe someday soon we can have a funny host who is not named Jimmy? Or a white man? Why haven’t Tina and Amy hosted? Please have them host everything.
Have you read my reviews of the nominated movies yet? Click here if not, or even if you have maybe you want to follow along when I talk smack about the below nominees.
Usually the most annoying or boring thing about the Academy Awards is how few surprises there are and how every winner is almost a lock, making office pools come down to best live-action short which is just not fair because you cannot accurately guess that winner no matter how much you know about movies. This year will be no different – in fact, it might be the worst one yet, in terms of expected surefire winners. Yawwwwn. As I’m sure you know, “La La Land” is going to sweep, whether it deserves to (like for music) or not (*cough* Emma *cough*). We’ll have some political winners, some consolation prizes in categories where “LLL” isn’t nominated or can stand to sit that one out (like…costumes), and some lazy down-ballot voting that gives it awards just because the voters don’t know what else to do, like in political elections (except 99% of the time it is appropriate to just vote an entirely democratic ticket you morons). So heeeere weeee goooooo! (Now we…oh no…I know…oh no…(anyone?))
Usually the most annoying or boring thing about the Academy Awards is how few surprises there are and how every winner is almost a lock, making office pools come down to best live-action short which is just not fair because you cannot accurately guess that winner no matter how much you know about movies. This year will be no different – in fact, it might be the worst one yet, in terms of expected surefire winners. Yawwwwn. As I’m sure you know, “La La Land” is going to sweep, whether it deserves to (like for music) or not (*cough* Emma *cough*). We’ll have some political winners, some consolation prizes in categories where “LLL” isn’t nominated or can stand to sit that one out (like…costumes), and some lazy down-ballot voting that gives it awards just because the voters don’t know what else to do, like in political elections (except 99% of the time it is appropriate to just vote an entirely democratic ticket you morons). So heeeere weeee goooooo! (Now we…oh no…I know…oh no…(anyone?))
BEST PICTURE
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ARRIVAL
FENCES HACKSAW RIDGE HELL OR HIGH WATER HIDDEN FIGURES |
LA LA LAND
LION MANCHESTER BY THE SEA MOONLIGHT |
Like you don’t already know, silly buttons. It’s not even funny how many “La La Land” is going to win. (It’s really not funny because, while I loved it as a fun musical movie that I’ll rewatch a bunch, it doesn’t deserve to, like, break records! Or beat the total number of awards won by far superior movies (like “You’ve Got Mail” WHERE’S THE OSCAR FOR THAT PERFECT GEM HUH?? WHERE IS IT). But although a lot of people are crossing their fingers hoping for “Moonlight” to stage an upset, that will not happen. Really, really, not. As I said in my review, “La La Land” is definitely a good movie, great to some, but not the second coming that people are treating it as. But it combines all the elements of a winner – hot young stars, great music, hot young director, and – most telling of all in Oscar history – a Hollywood, L.A., and movie-business-centric story. The industry cannot ever say no to movies about itself (see e.g. “Argo” and “The Artist”. All three of these are fantastic movies but were given an extra push by the self-love voting protocol).
OH before we move on, I must say, this bunch of nominees is REDONK. “Hidden Figures” was a TV movie and maybe would have deserved an Emmy nomination if nothing about O.J. came out to fight it, but a Best Picture Oscar? You cray. “Manchester By The Sea”? Can you repeat this with me: NOT EVERY DECENT ARTHOUSE MOVIE THAT HAS LOTS OF SIGHING AND TORMENTED WHITE MEN IN WINTRY LANDSCAPES IS BEST PICTURE WORTHY. My five – yes five, as I say every year, because this expanded list does not work for me – would be “Lion”, “Moonlight”, “La La Land”, and…and then I don’t even know. “Fences” and “Arrival”, maybe? You know what I’d give my last two spots to Clipping’s new “Splendor & Misery” album and…”You’ve Got Mail”.
OH before we move on, I must say, this bunch of nominees is REDONK. “Hidden Figures” was a TV movie and maybe would have deserved an Emmy nomination if nothing about O.J. came out to fight it, but a Best Picture Oscar? You cray. “Manchester By The Sea”? Can you repeat this with me: NOT EVERY DECENT ARTHOUSE MOVIE THAT HAS LOTS OF SIGHING AND TORMENTED WHITE MEN IN WINTRY LANDSCAPES IS BEST PICTURE WORTHY. My five – yes five, as I say every year, because this expanded list does not work for me – would be “Lion”, “Moonlight”, “La La Land”, and…and then I don’t even know. “Fences” and “Arrival”, maybe? You know what I’d give my last two spots to Clipping’s new “Splendor & Misery” album and…”You’ve Got Mail”.
BEST ACTRESS
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ISABELLE HUPPERT – Elle
RUTH NEGGA – Loving NATALIE PORTMAN – Jackie |
EMMA STONE – La La Land
MERYL STREEP – Florence Foster Jenkins |
I was so excited for Natalie Portman to win her second Oscar during her second pregnancy – how fun would that have been! If every time she wins an award she has an alien in her giant belly! Love it! But no. Not gonna happen. Ugh I know this category is so weak and I didn’t even see most of them! I literally saw 1.5 of these performances – Emma Stone’s and Natalie Portman’s before I had to shut her terrible movie off. Luckily, the one full performance I saw is the one that will win. Unfortunately, it’s probably the least Oscar-worthy role or performance that will win maybe ever. This is like everyone who said ‘Jennifer Lawrence for “Silver Linings Playbook”? That’s crazy to win the Oscar for!” but actually legit (I would have voted for JLaw then, so good). Don’t get me wrong, Emma really was wonderful in “La La Land”, but not Best Actress Oscar wonderful! What even is this! She should have won for “Easy A” if we’re doing this just because of how much everyone loves her. But I guess it was a supes weak year, because no one is talking about Ruth Negga sadly unless it’s to say she took Amy Adams’s or Annette Bening’s spot, which is sad because I bet she’s the most deserving one here. At least her role seems the most winning. Unless we’re talking about Isabelle, who scared the crap out of me just in the trailer for “Elle”, which looks way too intense and scary for me to see. But like she seems amazing. Meryl being nominated for FFJ is FFS. I loved Annette Bening in “20th Century Women” so much, and I really do have to see “Elle” because all the gay comedians I trust have been talking about how amazing Isabelle was. So, this super-guaranteed lock for Emma just seems nuts. But whateverrrr let’s continue making her journey to success the exact opposite of the character she played.
BEST ACTOR
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CASEY AFFLECK – Manchester by the Sea
ANDREW GARFIELD – Hacksaw Ridge RYAN GOSLING – La La Land |
VIGGO MORTENSEN – Captain Fantastic
DENZEL WASHINGTON – Fences |
I forgot to see “Captain Fantastic”, oops! It looked so weird like a mashup of a Wes Anderson movie with a commercial for Old Navy colored jeans but somehow I just forgot about it. I guess it’s not a huge deal because Viggo has the lowest chance of winning giving his film is not in contention. I am so happy for Andrew Garfield, not that I saw his film but because his ex-girlfriend is going to win and is like the biggest star so it must be really hard for him and so I hope an Oscar nomination makes him happier. Ryan Gosling absolutely deserves his nomination, and in my opinion was the strongest one in triple L, just perfection. But this is between Casey “ughhhh I can’t be assed with making my words unnerrstannaabulllll I’m so tired of my privilegeee” Affleck and Denzel “I gave the f-ing best performance by a lead male or female of the year so RECOGNIZE” Washington. The former is my real impression of the king of mumblecore Casey; the latter is just what I think is true. If Casey wins ughhh it’ll be really annoying. He was very good but the movie was boring. Just bleh mumblemanning and I’m not down with it. He was like, passively good, like the performance was happening to him, along with the movie to us. And his performance in that regard has some merit, especially with how natural he seemed (though that could be from playing himself in some form). On the other hand, Denzel gave the most actively impressive performance, a performance that jumped off the screen and grabbed you by the neck and shook you while screaming I AM INCREDIBLE ACTING and, well, leaving you shook. And somehow, while bowling you over with how damn good this acting was, it didn’t take you out of the story to realize it and it didn’t seem like he was putting on a character at all. He was amazing and really deserves to win. Usually I like to spread the wealth but his last one doesn’t count.
BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS
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VIOLA DAVIS – Fences
NAOMIE HARRIS – Moonlight NICOLE KIDMAN – Lion |
OCTAVIA SPENCER – Hidden Figures
MICHELLE WILLIAMS – Manchester by the Sea |
There is no contest here. Did you SEE Viola’s snot crying? She should get the Oscar and a Kleenex endorsement deal for that shiz. God she is amazing. I thought she would never be better than she was when she freaking broke the ground when she took her makeup and wig off in “How To Get Away With Murder”, but her performance in this movie topped even that. I do love this category though; I think it’s my favorite. We have 3 black women nominated, which is probably breaking records, and all three gave splendid performances, although I would have chosen Taraji from “Hidden Figures”, if she wasn’t considered leading. We have Michelle (who is always excellent and really I hope wins one day for a leading role) playing someone named Randi, so I am in for that, and she was also very good in her few scenes in Manchester by the snooze button. Then we have Nikki K high-kicking it down at the Moulin Rouge (which she should have won for, come on) who was only nominated because she is Nikki K – that role was not much – but hey I’m okay with more love for “Lion” when it probably won’t win anything, which is whatever the Hindi word for shanda is. But Viola, hot damn I say HOT DAMN, is she the best actress working today? Definitely top two.
BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR
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MAHERSHALA ALI – Moonlight
JEFF BRIDGES – Hell or High Wate LUCAS HEDGES – Manchester by the Sea |
DEV PATEL – Lion
MICHAEL SHANNON – Nocturnal Animals |
I’m kind of conflicted here! Not about Jeff Bridges, who I love and I’m sure he’s great but he doesn’t seem able or willing to break out of his typecasting sooo I’ma pass. Not about Lucas Hedges, who was very good in Manchester by the sorry I’m not home right now but his nomination is his award. And not about Michael Shannon who also is always good but I’ve said enough about that movie already. No, I’m conflicted because I originally was gung-ho for Mahershala – even before I saw “Moonlight”; what can I say he is amazing – but the more I think about Dev in “Lion” the more I recognize how great he was, even though he was upstaged repeatedly by Sunny’s face and/or voice. Dev had the meatier role, too, although Mahershala made a gigantic impact on that movie in his one act, and perhaps it’s even more impressive that he managed to turn his shorter screen time into something so important to a film not about him. So, as long as Mahershala or Dev wins, I’m happy. I think if I were voting I would go for Mahershala, who has such a strong presence and really made an impact on “Moonlight”. However, I would 100% be swayed to vote for Dev if he promised to bring Sunny onstage for his acceptance. On that note, my biggest gripe with this is why Sunny wasn’t nominated. Lesser child actors have been nominated for their movies. And lesser grown up actors. He was amazing, guys, he really freaking was and you better tell him you’re sorry.
BEST DIRECTOR
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DENIS VILLENEUVE – Arrival
MEL GIBSON – Hacksaw Ridge DAMIEN CHAZELLE – La La Land |
KENNETH LONERGAN – Manchester by the Sea
BARRY JENKINS – Moonlight |
Lol Mel Gibson. Guys what are you even doing.
I’ve seen some reports saying that this is the category that “La La Land” might lose, to spread the wealth with “Moonlight”, but as much as I would love for that to happen, it won’t. Damien Chazelle is the golden boy of Hollywood and is responsible for this super beloved movie, and he really is a phenomenal director. I think he deserved it more for “Whiplash” than “La La Land”, the former of which was tight and flawless while the latter gets a bit loose in the cage for a while. “Arrival” is a very well directed movie too, so controlled and meticulous and nuanced, but “Moonlight” does those traits even better. “Moonlight” clearly demonstrates an even-keeled hand and eye for subtlety and careful pacing. “Manchester” tries for that careful pacing but ends up being way too slow and thudding instead of just aware. I would probably vote for Barry and would be thrilled if he scored the upset but “La La Land” is Damien’s movie and the Academy will want to make sure he still likes them.
I’ve seen some reports saying that this is the category that “La La Land” might lose, to spread the wealth with “Moonlight”, but as much as I would love for that to happen, it won’t. Damien Chazelle is the golden boy of Hollywood and is responsible for this super beloved movie, and he really is a phenomenal director. I think he deserved it more for “Whiplash” than “La La Land”, the former of which was tight and flawless while the latter gets a bit loose in the cage for a while. “Arrival” is a very well directed movie too, so controlled and meticulous and nuanced, but “Moonlight” does those traits even better. “Moonlight” clearly demonstrates an even-keeled hand and eye for subtlety and careful pacing. “Manchester” tries for that careful pacing but ends up being way too slow and thudding instead of just aware. I would probably vote for Barry and would be thrilled if he scored the upset but “La La Land” is Damien’s movie and the Academy will want to make sure he still likes them.
BEST SCREENPLAY
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Original
HELL OR HIGH WATER – Taylor Sheridan LA LA LAND – Damien Chazelle THE LOBSTER – LOLOL MANCHESTER BY THE SEA – Kenneth Lonergan 20TH CENTURY WOMEN – Mike Mills |
Adapted
ARRIVAL – Eric Heisserer FENCES – August Wilson (? he dead) HIDDEN FIGURES – Allison Schroeder and Theodore Melfi LION – Luke Davies MOONLIGHT – Barry Jenkins and Tarell Alvin |
Lolol “The Lobster”!! I thought we were done with that RIDICULOUS nonsense! Oh my god I love how insane that movie is, but that was on my list from last year (follow the link to read my review). I guess that craziness came from being European and so we got it here in London earlier than the USA did. Lol I’m cracking up that that is nominated this year. No please. Well it is incredibly original, I’ll give it that. As for the other Original Screenplay noms, I guess “La La Land” wins this one too. I can’t comment on “Hell or High Water”, and “Manchester” oof the screenplay must be like “5 words of dialogue, lots of Casey sighing and rubbing his head, 5 more words, the end”. My vote would go to “20th Century Women” beyond all doubt, and I will harbor a secret wish (well I guess not so secret now) that it scores an upset on Sunday for being the true best original screenplay of the season. Mike Mills wrote such wonderful dialogue and such deep, real characters, and the more I think about it the more sure I am that he deserves this award that will go to “La La Land”.
Adapted screenplay is much harder for me to decide on. “Hidden Figures”, no, it’s screenplay was probably the biggest culprit in the amateurish feel. Or the direction. Either way, not going to win. “Arrival” was a very well done movie, but I guess it’s direction shone more than the screenplay. I love that August Wilson is nominated for “Fences” when he died like more than a decade ago. I looked into it because I thought maybe they were just straight up using the play without significant changes or something to explain this. But no, he just happened to have worked on this that many years ago, and it took that long for this film adaptation of his beloved play to come to fruition. Part of the delay was that August wanted a black director, and during the intervening years Hollywood was like, ‘hey we already have a black man in the White House; isn’t that enough for you?’ or something other horrible nonsense excuse for not hiring enough diverse people in the super white business, but then luckily Denzel was like fuck it I’ll direct and I’ll do a magnificent job and I better win an acting Oscar for it. But I’m hoping for either “Moonlight” or “Lion” to win, and I honestly can’t decide. Both were the strongest movies of the year, mostly due to their bones – direction and writing. If I were forced to vote – which I’m not because I’m not a member of the Academy but hello to whoever might be reading this I would like to be – I have to go with “Moonlight”. So well done and meticulous.
Adapted screenplay is much harder for me to decide on. “Hidden Figures”, no, it’s screenplay was probably the biggest culprit in the amateurish feel. Or the direction. Either way, not going to win. “Arrival” was a very well done movie, but I guess it’s direction shone more than the screenplay. I love that August Wilson is nominated for “Fences” when he died like more than a decade ago. I looked into it because I thought maybe they were just straight up using the play without significant changes or something to explain this. But no, he just happened to have worked on this that many years ago, and it took that long for this film adaptation of his beloved play to come to fruition. Part of the delay was that August wanted a black director, and during the intervening years Hollywood was like, ‘hey we already have a black man in the White House; isn’t that enough for you?’ or something other horrible nonsense excuse for not hiring enough diverse people in the super white business, but then luckily Denzel was like fuck it I’ll direct and I’ll do a magnificent job and I better win an acting Oscar for it. But I’m hoping for either “Moonlight” or “Lion” to win, and I honestly can’t decide. Both were the strongest movies of the year, mostly due to their bones – direction and writing. If I were forced to vote – which I’m not because I’m not a member of the Academy but hello to whoever might be reading this I would like to be – I have to go with “Moonlight”. So well done and meticulous.
BEST SONG
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“Audition (The Fools Who Dream)” – LA LA LAND, BENJ PASEK & JUSTIN PAUL
“Can’t Stop The Feeling!” – TROLLS, JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE ET AL. ”City of Stars” – LA LA LAND, JUSTIN HURWITZ AND PASEK & PAUL |
“The Empty Chair” – JIM: THE JAMES FOLEY STORY, J. RALPH AND STING
“How Far I’ll Go” – MOANA, LIN-MANUEL MIRANDA |
Can we take a beat here to appreciate this category? We have my current favorite Broadway composers, Pasek & Paul, with two songs from “La La Land”. We have my long-time other favorite Broadway composer, Lin-Manuel, with a great song from the newest Disney princess movie. I cannot express my excitement for these three amazing wonderfully talented guys. And then they are nominated against Justin Timberlake and Sting. I’m hysterical it’s so funny and awesome. I’m pretty sure Justin Timberlake and Sting are out of the running unless some weird shit goes down from the two “LLL” songs splitting the vote, but I think any benefit of that movie’s double nominations will go to Lin, and rightly so. The two songs nominated from “LLL” are in my opinion the weakest two of the whole movie. While still great, I’d put the opening number and “A Lovely Night” way above those two in terms of quality and catchiness and overall greatness. And that’s leaving out my favorite from the film “Someone in the Crowd”, which has that riff that I’m obsessed with but you can’t hear what I mean because luckily for you the fact that I’m singing it for you right now has no way of translating to the page. “City of Stars”, the likely winner, is the weakest in the movie, but I guess it’s the most memorable, although that seems super contradictory. But I am right. I am so excited for Pasek & Paul to become Oscar winners, I really don’t care that it’s for the wrong song. (If any Tony voters are reading this, you f-ing better have them win a Tony this season too because “Dear Evan Hansen” has by far the best score of the year and most years and if you get distracted by words taken straight from a Russian novel and put to mostly annoying and ugly music I will hunt you down.) However, if they do indeed split the vote with their two nominated songs, I would be equally excited because “How Far I’ll Go” is the best song on the above list. I’m going to link below to the scene from “Moana” where she sings that song and JUST TRY TO TELL ME that you don’t get super pumped and ready to greet the world with newfound verve and vigor. JUST TRY. It’s a great song, and it would make Lin the youngest person to EGOT, so I mean, as long as it’s a song from “La La Land” or “Moana”, we can’t lose.
Oh and obviously “La La Land” will win best score, there didn’t even have to be other nominees in that category.
Oh and obviously “La La Land” will win best score, there didn’t even have to be other nominees in that category.
Tell me this song doesn’t rock your damn world, son.
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So what about the actual show? As we said in the height of the 2016 misery fest, the Oscars telecast should just be 3 hours of the In Memoriam so all the many, many greats that passed can get a decent send-off, and then just hand out awards to the winners for 20 minutes tops. If I were Meron and Zadan (I assume they are the producers, don’t they get hired to produce everything), what would I do? First, I would have a Kennedy Center Honors-style Broadway legend tribute to the more musical losses we suffered. It’s especially important to copy the Kennedy Center Honors format since that legendary arts event is now going to be an orange cheeto honoring Ted Nugent and 311. Then there would be an amazing modern dance extravaganza for Bowie and Prince. Later would come long clips of “Singin’ in the Rain” with Debbie Reynolds followed by footage of all her “Will & Grace” appearances. ALL OF THEM! Bonus points for humanity if there is hidden footage of Mama Adler’s performance as Queen Lear or in Death of a Saleswomen. Then we would see all of Carrie Fisher’s late night appearances. ALL OF THEM! That would be justice. Especially because this crop of Oscar movies aren’t as great as Debbie was on W&G and Carrie was on every late night talk show. I don’t think anything ever could be, actually.
Anyway, on that note, enjoy the Oscars! What do you think will win? What do you want to win? What wasn’t nominated that should have been? Tell me things.
