A Day in the Death of Joe Egg at Trafalgar Studios: Faaaaak.by Randi / October 3, 2019Ian McKellen is dazzling audiences at the Harold Pinter Theatre until January 5.
However high your expectations are for Ian McKellen’s one-man show at the Harold Pinter Theatre, he will exceed them. Doing a celebratory ‘birthday’ tour around the UK, which makes a ton of sense because I know all I like to do for my birthday is work my ass off (??), Sir Ian (honestly he earned this title just with this performance) is showing everyone why he is such an icon: because he’s g-d incredible.
This birthday he’s celebrating, he’s like what, 100? 110? And has more stamina and energy than most performers nowadays. He is up there alone for THREE HOURS. Yeah, it’s a 3-hour show! We thought maybe it would be a one act 90-minute situation, but the first act alone was 90 minutes! (The Harold Pinter website says it’s 2 hours 25 minutes with an interval, and just like its namesake, that theatre tells lies.) The performance is a life onstage, truly, a nonstop whirlwind of his entire multi-decade career, from stage to screen, from his early school days to his most precious memories, and of course, his recollections of the very first theatre he saw.
But of course, the show begins with a bang, as audio from The Lord of the Rings movie (one of them) booms over the blackened theatre until the spotlight reveals Sir Ian ‘reading’ (he has everything memorized, I don’t know how; he explains later ‘well it’s my job’ but even so man, even so) from Tolkien’s book (“it was a book first!”), the section around the famous “You shall not pass!” part. So yeah, he knows, give the people what they want right off the bat. The thrill of seeing this man saying these words in person was only topped by his bringing out his actual sword from the movies – and letting a ‘youngster’ (she looked my age, I’m pissed, I would have volunteered) come on stage to wield it.
His entire persona is pitch-perfect for this kind of show, where his effortless charm and affability make anything and everything he decides to do utterly enjoyable. Monologue from earlier stage works? We love it! Yes! Silly stories about Christopher Lee and everyone who brags about having read LOTR? Yes! We love it! Anecdotes about Judi Dench as a cat? Benedict Cumberbatch as a baby? Starring in his first panto? YES, WE LOVE IT ALL!
The first act is generally the story of his life, as he talks about the highlights of his career as well as the earliest theatre memories he has. The loveliest parts of the show are about his family and his coming out, and he ping pongs your heart between the warming and the breaking so quickly and so easily that you almost forget to pay respect to the art of his storytelling, some of the most brilliant storytelling imaginable. He makes all of this seem like he’s just chatting with friends in the most pleasant, wonderful way, and you’re too busy enjoying it to realize how revolutionary that is for an actor of such stature, and how astonishingly talented he has to be to make all of this work.
Just when you think you can’t be any more impressed, he decides to completely blow you away with the second act. He literally goes through every. single. Shakespeare play. All 37 of them. It’s quite the magnificent feat: He pulls 37 paperback copies of the plays out from his trunk, from which all his props came, and tells the audience to yell out titles as we think of them. Whenever he hears one, he picks up that paperback and either tells a wonderful story about his favorite production of that, or his favorite memory of when he was in that or when his friend (usually Dench) was in that…OR, he will just flat out do a 10-minute monologue from memory. Sometimes hearing the big speeches out of context doesn’t have the same power that seeing it in a play would, but sometimes, as with his monologue from Cymbelline that he used to eulogize the loved ones he’s lost, it still manages to be extraordinary, and to remind you that he’s not just your new best friend – he is a capital-A Actor, and he’s f-ing amazing.
INFORMATION
I honestly haven’t been so happy about my seat in a theatre in a while. I remembered my last experience at the HPT and used that info to make sure I had the seat right next to the exit in the stalls that is RIGHT at the Ladies bathroom – H22. You’re welcome. (Ladies bathroom users, you will want to sit house left in the stalls to get to the bathroom.) If you want to catch some of the candy, fruit, or giant cucumber he will throw into the audience to explain what the fork panto is, sit in the front center.
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Allegiance with George Takei Comes to London
It’s Theatre Thursday! Today’s show is Allegiance, playing at the Charing Cross Theatre until April 8. OHHH MYYY!
George Takei’s very personal show about the Japanese internment camps that the United States thought were cool cool cool during WWII has come to London. I say ‘his show’ even though he didn’t write it because everyone calls it that, because it’s inspired by his life story. Our beloved Georgie was taken to the camps in California when he was mfing 5 YEARS OLD. It’s hard enough to watch adults playacting at living through this horror onstage; can you even fathom what it was like for this beloved man as a tiny boy? You cannot. So everything he brings to it — the harrowing story, the heart, the lovable performance, the magic of seeing this public persona live onstage — is wonderful, and the show is moving in large part because of all his gifts, gifts of performance and connection and the biggest one, of giving his story to the theatre.
The show begins with an elderly Japanese man named Sam (IT’S GEORGE!) dressing in his WWII uniform to mark the anniversary of Pearl Harbor, as he does every year. A woman comes to his door with the news that his sister Kei has died, and George kinda freaks out like STOP IT, PAST, LEAVE ME ALONE, I HADN’T TALKED TO KEI IN 50 YEARS! which is, wow, REALLY sad, like that’s a really long time, that’s much longer than I’ve been alive, wtf, how could you not talk to your sister for that long, what the crap happened? Luckily the show goes awooawoowoo and turns back time to show us the story of what happened. Sam becomes mfing lovable Telly Leung all the way from the great white wayyy yes Tellayyyyy! to play Sam as the young man, forced at the prime of his life to enter the internment camps with his sister Kei, his father who he THINKS is always disappointed in him but is he really or is he just strict and not great with English?, and his grandfather (played by George now). We see the trials and tribulations, yet also the hope and light they forge in the camps with their fellow prisoners, and the love they find – including TellySam with a hawhite nurse, Hannah. STUFF GOES DOWN!
Real talk, it’s not a great show because it still needs some editing of the story to make it as strong as it should be, but you are either lying or dead inside if you aren’t moved at least a few times. Removed from my first viewing on Broadway 7 years ago (jeeez), I can see how great this show could be with the help of a dramaturg. I’m a big believer that every show should hire a dramaturg for at the very least a once-over, like a final edit to make sure it’s in tip-toppiest. But even so, Allegiance has so many good qualities and strong parts, some great songs, some real potential in its characters and storylines. The parts don’t add up to as good or as strong a whole as they should, as it deserves. All that goodness is still there, but it needs some refining, and it’s a shame it didn’t get it.
BUT it’s all still there to be enjoyed and to be moved by! Allegiance is enjoyable and manages to tug at the heartstrings (I know I pick on the big miss at the Guardian because she’s terrible but like, objectively, how could you NOT. FEEL. ANYTHING. at the end? with the magazine? come on). Aynrand (real name…we are still both shocked and in awe of this…I just…her parents…wouldn’t you change…what’s…how’s…what’s…oh it’s just so amazing…and also no) Ferrer as Kei sounds very much like Lea Salonga, there’s a very similar tone to her voice, which is quite possibly the highest compliment that can be given on this planet, so her songs were a treat to listen to, including importantly my favorite song in the show, ‘Higher’. Its simple clear lyrics paint such an effective portrait of her childhood and her sacrifices, and so efficiently, it makes me teary every time. LOVES IT. Kei and Frankie, her love, didn’t have like, great chemistry (sorry Frankie) but I totally dug what Telly and Nurse Hannah created with their few songs (including the bop ‘I Oughta Go’, which was staged well).
Most of all, it’s a gift to see George Takei acting live onstage, giving his everything so we can feel and understand the importance of what he’s trying to convey. SO LISTEN TO HIM. HE’S BEEN THROUGH SO MUCH. HE’S 85 YEARS OLD. LISTEN TO HIMMMM. GO SEE IT AND BOW DOWN TO HIM. CRY YOU BASTARDS! WE LOVE YOU GEORGE!
Bye Bye Lil Sebastian: The Perfect “Parks & Rec” Finale
Parks & Recreation, the best comedy series ever, ended this past week, and I’ve only just stopped crying long enough to gather my thoughts. We had seven wonderful (well, six wonderful; the first was decent as it found its footing (remember when Tom was serious and sullen?)) seasons of hilarity and love as we watched the greatest comedy ensemble of all time gel and grow together. Every single player was indispensable and at times the funniest member of the team. Parks gave us an endless supply of amazing quotes, stories, and ideas, as well as a cast of characters both larger than life and so much a part of our lives.
The finale somehow wrapped everything up nicely while still being incredibly funny and giving us extremely exciting glimpses into the characters’ futures, one by one. It achieved this by flashing forward from their present day (2017) to little scenes taking place 6 years later, 15 years later, and nearly 30 years later, making last season’s 3-year jump forward look like child’s play.
We start in the Parks Department office, with everyone gathered in 2017 to say goodbye before Leslie, Ben, Andy, and April move to D.C. Leslie is recapping the gang’s greatest hits, yet she’s still reviewing Parks projects from 2005, hence the crew’s unbridled boredom. Two things before we go to our first flashforward, Donna’s. One: The guy who comes in about the broken swing said it’s been broken for three months. Also, he was in a suit, and looked hella creepy, like he was the understudy for the main killer guy in “The Heat”. Why didn’t anyone ask him why he waited 3 months? Did anyone else think (until the end, when it was obvious she didn’t) that Leslie hired him to give the gang a final project? Of course, even if she didn’t, someone else could have. Two: The muffins in the P&R office are ENORMOUS. Pawnee 4 eva.
Donna
First, Of COURSE Donna wouldn’t get kicked out of En Vogue. She kicked THOSE bitches out. And of course she would have been in the top ten on Italy’s Got Talent. But serving on a Nascar pit crew? I don’t see her getting dirty.
Next, how awesome did Retta make Donna over the years? She went from a cheeky background worker to one of the biggest arbiters of taste on TV and in real life. I’m so glad that she ended up with Joe, who is pretty much the best guy ever except for Ben. Keegan Michael Key should have been on the show more. He’s adorable and I’m such a fan.
Seeing Donna happily married, kicking ass in real estate and making tons of money that she used to treat both her self and her husband’s self, felt so real and so right. Underneath all the shallow interests of material things and pop culture, it’s so true that Donna is the kind of generous and awesome person who would start an educational foundation to combat awful budget cuts in public schools. ‘Teach Yo’ Self’ is so freaking wonderful and I love that we got to see Donna and Joe do something so incredible together. Also, I’m kind of ambivalent about Seattle, but if they actually built a giant haystack around the Space Needle, to try and hide it? COOLEST PROJECT EVER.
Notes:
We start in the Parks Department office, with everyone gathered in 2017 to say goodbye before Leslie, Ben, Andy, and April move to D.C. Leslie is recapping the gang’s greatest hits, yet she’s still reviewing Parks projects from 2005, hence the crew’s unbridled boredom. Two things before we go to our first flashforward, Donna’s. One: The guy who comes in about the broken swing said it’s been broken for three months. Also, he was in a suit, and looked hella creepy, like he was the understudy for the main killer guy in “The Heat”. Why didn’t anyone ask him why he waited 3 months? Did anyone else think (until the end, when it was obvious she didn’t) that Leslie hired him to give the gang a final project? Of course, even if she didn’t, someone else could have. Two: The muffins in the P&R office are ENORMOUS. Pawnee 4 eva.
Donna
First, Of COURSE Donna wouldn’t get kicked out of En Vogue. She kicked THOSE bitches out. And of course she would have been in the top ten on Italy’s Got Talent. But serving on a Nascar pit crew? I don’t see her getting dirty.
Next, how awesome did Retta make Donna over the years? She went from a cheeky background worker to one of the biggest arbiters of taste on TV and in real life. I’m so glad that she ended up with Joe, who is pretty much the best guy ever except for Ben. Keegan Michael Key should have been on the show more. He’s adorable and I’m such a fan.
Seeing Donna happily married, kicking ass in real estate and making tons of money that she used to treat both her self and her husband’s self, felt so real and so right. Underneath all the shallow interests of material things and pop culture, it’s so true that Donna is the kind of generous and awesome person who would start an educational foundation to combat awful budget cuts in public schools. ‘Teach Yo’ Self’ is so freaking wonderful and I love that we got to see Donna and Joe do something so incredible together. Also, I’m kind of ambivalent about Seattle, but if they actually built a giant haystack around the Space Needle, to try and hide it? COOLEST PROJECT EVER.
Notes:
- Who do you think runs Middle Korea?
- April is pregnant in this very first flash forward.
- “The school cut the math club – and – math.” Prescient.
Craig
Craig singing in Tom’s Bistro two years later is so perfect. I love that he and Typhoon end up together only because Craig reluctantly said, ‘Okay fine ugh.’ Ahhahaha. And Horatio Sanz married them! Ron as Typhoon’s best man was ridiculous but it still made me cry. I’m so glad that after Ron’s barber died he was able to forge this unlikely yet perfect friendship with Typhoon based on their shared hatred of Europeans.
Craig was underused in this past season, not given opportunity to be nearly as hilarious as his first few episodes on the show, when he gave us such gems as “That was so spot on, I need to go lie down for 45 minutes. NO, AN HOUR. A GOOD HOUR”, and of course his rant on behalf on Donna about different kinds of lawn: “Yes, I have a disease, it’s called caring too much??? And it’s INCURABLE!!” At least we are getting more Billy Eichner in real life, where he is exactly the same as Craig but louder.
Did you catch that the champagne Typhoon and Craig were served on that ridiculously sick airplane when they were way way old was Jean-Ralphio label? Looks like he got out of TaJIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIkistan alright!
The Sapersteins
Speaking of, his faked death and insurance scam plot with his sister Mona Lisa (who’s the worrrrrrrrst) was absolutely PERFECT.
They are such awful people and it’s totally believable if not downright obvious that they would do such dumb things after we leave them.
Poor Jean-Ralphio loved Leslie the whole time, as we knew. I almost feel bad for him but not because he’s a terrible person. Whom I love. His final scene with Leslie may have been his best ever. “Will you do me one final solid…of pretending to be my wife for an insurance scam BUT THEN WE FALL IN LOVE FOR REAL?!” Hahaha I died. His face at that last part was too sweet, and then of course he ruined it by continuing: “Also can I have a pair of your gym socks it’s not for anything weird it’s just a fetish I have.” Cutting immediately to his grave after Leslie says “I hope you have a long and happy life” was super dark (and hilarious), so I’m glad that he was watching his ‘funeral’ from behind a tree with Mona Lisa and they were faking the death for, yes, an insurance scam, planning to use the money to build a casino in TaJIIIIIIIIIIIIkistan which would probably be a huge failure. But we know from Craig’s way way future that Jean-Ralphio ends up having a winery so SHA-BOOSH! for him. I hope he’s fluhusshhh with cahashhh.
April & Andy
I love how even when Andy is at his dumbest (“Shotgun!” “We’re taking the elevator.” “I GET TO PUSH THE BUTTONS! I called it!”), she always has his back (“HE CALLED IT.”). Their relationship is, like every relationship on this show, so lovely and feels so real. I am going to miss them. I really liked seeing them in D.C. still hanging out with Leslie and Ben. When we shoot to Halloween in the near future, did you notice that one of the trick-or-treaters that Andy opens the door to was dressed as Chris Pratt’s character from ‘Guardians of the Galaxy’?? How adorable is that! I’m glad we got to see Janet Snakehole, Burt Macklin, and little Champion again, even though there wasn’t enough Champion. Poor little guy is old now! “I have to ask, how many legs did the dog have when you found him?” This is still one of my favorite quotes from the entire series because, even though Ben says it, it says so much about Andy. (I also love that Chris Pratt apparently suggested that Andy’s cause of death would be being locked in a hot car. True.)
The only non-perfect thing about the entire episode was the ‘discussion’ about having children between April and Andy. Even though we already saw that April was pregnant in the first flashforward (Donna’s), their decision to have kids felt rushed. Or really nonexistent. It was very April to have her be totally on board with the stretch marks, weird veins, and puking, but not for the child part. However, her mind seemed made up against having kids; she did not seem just “on the fence” as they said. They should have made her seem more undecided, rather than so against kids, so that her eventual pregnancies don’t seem so wrong for her. It felt really strange to hear her say pretty decidedly that she didn’t want them, and then see her having one.
When we do see April in labor, I forgot that Dr. Saperstein was already an established character so for a second I thought having Henry Winkler as the ob/gyn was a reference to Friends, when the guy who delivers Phoebe’s triplets thinks he’s the Fonz. Everything makes me think of Friends! (The Parks finale was 10x better. Than any finale.)
Notes:
- SANDRA DEE O’CONNOR. Unbelievable costume! Doing it next year.
- CONES OF DUNSHIRE 2! “Gameplay magazine called it ‘punishingly intricate’.”
Tom Haverford
Tom’s meeting with his investors was so good. I love that his investors are Ben, Ron, and Donna, and that during business hours he refers to Ben as Accounting Nerd. “I’m a Congressman, man, can you at least call me Ben?” “No can do Accounting Nerd.” And OF COURSE Ben recommended adding calzones to the menu. Perfect touch!
After the complete combustion of Entertainment 720 and the downward trajectory of the initially promising Rent-A-Swag, it felt kind of strange that Tom was all of a sudden very successful. So having him fail on a larger scale than ever, only to really find success by exploiting/writing about failure, was a genius and super appropriate move.
Tom watching his depressing documentary (that he made himself!) was pathetic but typical, and he looks really cute in glasses. I’m glad that he and Lucy seem happy together despite his failings (“who knew the country would run out of beef?” Um doesn’t everyone realize this?) And it was wonderful to have Tom parlay his business failures into a successful writing and speaking career talking about failing. I loved that his 7 types of successful people were all named and modeled after the main cast members. Tear. I’m happy that he finally (I assume) gets to meet the love of his life, Kendrick Lamar.
Notes:
- The best is later on when the gang reconvenes in Pawnee and Ron says, “Tom. I took the quiz in your book. I am a Ron.” And Ben says, “Last time I took it I was a Tom!” Cue Tom’s super concerned face: “What? No! Take it again! I gotta recalibrate the quiz.”
- “What do we definitely NOT want to be?” Hundreds of audience members: “A GARRY!”
- “I had to sell my pocket square collection! Where are people’s eyes gonna be drawn to?!”
- Jerry: “I’m here with my two best friends, Leslie Knope and Tom Haverford.” Cue Tom busting into hysterical laughter.
Garry Gergich (Jerry, always)
Poor Jerry has been the victim of so much abuse during the entire series, from having his name frequently changed on him and no one ever wanting him around to being the only person Leslie Knope was mean to. All the harm just bounced off of him, but we always felt bad for Jerry even though he never felt bad about any of it. Luckily, the end of the show gave Jerry his Susan B. Anthony, like the end of Ocean’s 13 giving the airport slot wins to the poor tortured hotel reviewer. Jerry, interim mayor of Pawnee, was elected to the office officially, and then continued to be reelected for pretty much the rest of his life.
He lived to be 100, surrounded by his beautiful children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren, and of course his beautiful wife Gayle (Christie Brinkley), who, in a hilarious move by the show, never aged. He died in his sleep, and his funeral allowed for several amazing things: a) a later-in-life reunion by the gang, b) the 21 stamp salute, c) his tombstone to be spelled wrong, and d) MOST IMPORTANTLY – a chance for us to see Secret Service agents guarding Old Lady Leslie and Old Man Ben!!!!
Notes:
- Brandi Maxx becomes councilwoman! Ahhhh!
- ONE OF THEM WAS PRESIDENT!!!!!! OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG BEST. SHOW. EVER.
Ron Swanson
In 2022, Ron spontaneously decides to resign as chairman of Very Good Building & Development Co., telling his many brothers (they’re all brothers!) not to get emotional and to give him whatever severance is fair. On the advice of accountant Ben, Ron diversifies his fortune by selling some gold and becoming, naturally, the majority shareholder of Lagavulin. He comes to Leslie at his personal crossroads, when he’s unsure what to do with the rest of his life, and it’s a lovely moment that he comes to her for help. Leslie of course will know what to do, and she just makes some calls and gets him the job of Captain Park Ranger of the Pawnee National Park, the perfect decision. Ron as big boss park ranger of the park they saved together, just yes. I love that Leslie shot down all of Ron’s doubts quickly and when he finally accepted she said “Oh I already accepted for you. I still know how to forge your signature!” As Ron breathes in his new life and canoes out into the lake, they play what we know is Ron’s favorite song ‘Buddy’. That was just mean. So many tears even on the third viewing. Just perfect.
Leslie & Ben
When their segment opens, the ‘nice house’ they are in is the White House, correct? So Biden is president in 2023? I think that’s when it was. Second term? Amazing. Also I loved Dr. Jill’s hot pink dress. I think Mindy Kaling has worn it. The DNC person approaching Leslie about running for governor of Indiana was immediately topped by the appearance of Jen (Kathryn Hahn), the greatest and most realistic political character on modern TV. She is the best. I really wish she met Jean-Ralphio. Can you imagine how amazing they’d be together?
So, what a perfect problem to give our heroes, having to decide which one of them should run for governor when they were both qualified. I like that Ben pulled the car over when they were having an important conversation so he could devote his attention to it. I adore. Leslie naturally made a pros and cons list on their home white board, and the lists were identical for each of them. They meet the whole gang back in Pawnee and plan to run the question by everyone because OH MY ANN’S HERE! YOU GUYS! ANN’S HERE! Leslie’s unbridled joy as she pushes Ben away Elaine-style to get to Ann is my favorite. But how long has it been? Please tell me they haven’t been separated for almost a decade?!
I don’t even remember what brought everyone back to Pawnee for this reunion, but it was one of the best scenes, mostly because Ann and Chris (my absolute favorite) were back, and because we saw little duos break away to talk. Leslie and Chris went into an office so Leslie could give Chris a new list of amazing things to call Ann, since the best he could come up with on his own was comparing her to a ‘nutrient-rich chia seed’ and beautiful Ann is used to the most unique and jaw-dropping of compliments. The new ones include: “Ann, you rainbow-infused space unicorn.” “Ann, you beautiful sassy mannequin come to life.” “Ann, you opalescent tree shark.” In like a 10 second scene, Chris managed to say ‘literally’ and became afraid of a new health threat: “Aren’t you afraid that thing will give you cancer?” “Well now I am.” And I love that we saw Ben and Ann talking for like 2 seconds about Cones of Dunshire and Ann looked SO bored!
I was rooting for Leslie and Ben to decide that Leslie should run for governor, so when she said let’s flip a coin to decide I got nervous. But of course super perfect Ben thought about how much he freaking loved her because who doesn’t and realized how great she is and so he decided for them that she’d run. Cut to about 12 years later, when Leslie, speaking to a graduating class at Indiana University, refers to her two terms as their governor. TEAR. She won! Twice! And the whole gang is in the audience! Screw students’ 4th relatives! But OMG the Dean announced the creation of the Leslie Knope Library! Ahahhahahahahaha! Leslie mutters under her breath, “a fucking library?” How they managed to fit so many inside jokes in this hour is just astounding.
Notes:
- ANN’S DAUGHTER IS NAMED LESLIE. Did you catch that? That’s the sweetest thing ever.
- “Ben will be running my campaign because he’s a super genius and he’s got a tight compact little body like an Italian sports car.”
So this was the best finale maybe of all time, yes? It was a genius move to just hint at the presidency, and to leave it vague whether it was Leslie or Ben. I love that you can pick who you want, but obviously it was Leslie because come on! Best ever! Leslie killed us with this line: “That’s all I want, all of these people in the same place at the same time.” US TOO.
