Jeannette Bayardelle’s Shida is a Triumph
It’s Theatre Thursday! Today’s show is Shida, playing at The Vaults theatre until October 13.
The biographical musical Shida premiered off-Broadway six years ago, the summer of 2013, when I still lived close enough to NYC to see shows almost every single weekend and considered myself pretty in the know and yet this show wasn’t on my radar so like WHAT THE HELL WAS WRONG WITH ME? Don’t be like me – if you are close enough to see the London production of this impeccable, heart-breaking, soul-building show before October 13, you must see it. Oh I just checked my travel spreadsheet (yes of course) and apparently I was in Croatia for some of the NYC run but GUYS this show is BETTER THAN CROATIA so no excuses.
Okay obviously saying a show is better than a country is not the hill I’m going to die on (but also all musicals are better than all countries? because musicals are the magic of life and we shouldn’t have international borders anyway? I didn’t expect this review to get here) but Shida is truly special. It’s been a minute since I’ve seen something that reinforced the power of the art form AND that I didn’t have any critiques of. I’ve always got some little improvements or changes I’d love to see made, even for my favorite shows! I could not find anything to change in this show if you paid me.
(Okay except that it started like 15 mins late but then it was immediately so good that I DIDN’T EVEN CARE!)
Shida, written and performed by Jeannette Bayardelle, follows a young black girl named Shida growing up in the Bronx, her mother, her mother’s boyfriend, her new best friend Jackie, her favorite teacher, and more characters shaping Shida’s childhood and influencing her future. Except all these well-defined characters are all played by Jeannette, a master at dipping in and out of characters as seamlessly and fully as if there were a full cast up there. It begins by showing grown-up Shida as an addict on the streets of New York and then circling back to her childhood and the trauma that led to her that point so you know from the start that you’ll be getting stabbed in the heart. Musically. And yeah it took more energy that I’ve expended in months to keep myself from ugly crying in that loud disruptive manner that sometimes (often) happens to me in the theatre where if I were in your audience you’d be like ‘SHUT UP GIRL THIS ISN’T ABOUT YOU’ but man alive is this show beautiful.
A lot of the flawlessness is owed to director Andy Sandberg (not that one) (it’s actually Samberg, the one you’re thinking of (I know I don’t like that either)) helping maneuver the many changes in and out of the various characters and making a one-woman show feel fuller than most West End musicals with large ensembles. And I don’t know who is responsible for the smooth change that occurs whenever Shida is handed her special bracelets but it’s probably god, that’s how powerful a tiny movement was. As for Jeannette, I’m simply in awe. Her nuanced facial expressions and vocal inflections, telling so much so efficiently, would be enough to grant her a medal from me (for whatever, I don’t know, ‘Most’) but her singing?? and her acting?? and her humo(u)r! AND SHE WROTE THIS! I can’t deal with her brilliance. I’m not going to spoil the post-show reveal of who the real people involved were because it’s too much to handle.Maybe I shouldn’t recommend that you all go because anyone weaker emotionally than I am would probably explode and that’s just gross for everyone.
INFORMATION
Shida is at The Vaults, which is behind Waterloo Station and a little tricky to find if like me you don’t realize that you can’t walk through the brick walls surrounding the station. Aim for the intersection of Launcelot and Lower Marsh and it’s on that block.
It’s pretty small (one central aisle) and there are no bad seats, although the seats themselves feel like they might break.
Programmes are $5 (that’s in pounds) and they’re also selling CDs for $10 (pounddollars).
I’m not sure if she stagedoors; she didn’t come out in the 15 minutes or so it took me to return to normal breathing, buy a programme, and use the bathroom but it’s probably for the best because I would have been like WHAT HOW WHAT.
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Goodbye to The Good Place (Really Bestbye to the Best Place)
Hello, my little chili babies. It’s been almost a week since the 104% perfect finale of The Good Place, and I’m still crying so let’s talk it out. Although everything to say about it has already been said, it doesn’t feel right to not have something about it on my website for posterity. I mean I have a whole thing on the finale of How I Met Your Mother, which was super disappointing, so having that and not anything on the best TV show finale of all time would be point-losing nonsense. If you want to read my writing about my favorite show where I try to sound smart, click here to read my recent article for Tenderly Mag on Medium. If you’re cool with nonsense dribbled out in mostly recap form while I cried for the 1000th time in 5 days, then go ahead – whenever you’re ready. (Hot tip: You are only ready if you have watched every episode of the show.)
If you know me, or you watch television, or you have taste, you know that The Good Place is the best show ever. There isn’t one line that isn’t great, in four seasons. I mean I love lots of TV and have lots of favorites but man alive, even Friends has entire episodes I would cut. TGP was as tight as a drum, with every line, action, even every costume flawlessly committed to telling a coherent full story. I love everyone involved with this show for making it, from each writer (especially Megan Amram and her puns) to Marc Evan Jackson for the podcast (it’s so good and where I got a lot of the inside treats to come) to David Niednagel for the ridiculous special effects to Kirston Mann for the costumes (I agree about the stripes messaging, Marc) to Gay Perello for the amazing props (will never get over Jason’s first philosophy assignment, where he handwrote it and said “By Jason Mendoza, Age 27. Perfection). The cast is uniformly excellent, some of the best acting ever ever ever ever done. (“Acting is reacting. And reacting is pre-acting. And pre-acting, well that’s just being.”) And of course, creator Mike Schur, who might have a lot of annoying ideas about veganism, but he is a gd genius.
Since the pilot, anyone who tried to predict what would happen on this show has looked like a fool LIKE A FOOL. This most unpredictable show, lauded for how it solved in one episode or less what most programs would focus on for an entire season, always kept us on our toes. It felt appropriate that the finale would still be exciting and overwhelmingly emotional and brilliant but not entirely surprising, wrapping up everyone’s story, remarkably, in a way that was, only in hindsight, clear from the beginning. (“Is there a question?” “Don’t you think that’s remarkable?”) Even though the show was constantly surprising, they told us from the start what the end would hold for our heroes, if you paid attention. They each had to conquer their biggest flaws, and once they really and fully did, they would be ready to end this part of their existence. And often, doing so made them come full circle to the versions of themselves they pretended to be, whether on earth or in neighborhood 12358W.
I want to talk about each of my friends one by one.
Let’s start with Jason, since the episode does. After 2,242 Bearimys since we last saw him, Jason decides that his time in The Good Place has come to an end. At first I paraphrased Michael in the season 2 reboot montage and exclaimed, “Jason finds peace first? Jason?! Oh, this one hurts.” It’s no secret that Jason Mendoza (“that’s my boy right there!”) is my favorite character (well everyone is my favorite but I love that goofball so much). He is so dumb and sweet and surprisingly wise and so pure. The kids describe too many things nowadays as being ‘pure’ and it’s getting overused but really it is best used for Jason. I love that my boy is so pure so his is the shortest journey to finding inner peace. It makes sense that he would be the first of Team Cockroach to have that realization of tranquility in your soul that you are ready to be at one with the universe, or whatever you think happens when you walk through the door.
When Janet realizes what Jason needs to talk about, after he makes dinner for her the first time, that seems like the proper starting point for crying during this episode, but that assumes you haven’t been crying since the moment it began, or really since you started gearing up for it the week before. The moment that marked my transition from teary-eyed to heaving bawling was when they showed him playing Madden with Donkey Doug. Donkey Doug was the first new person we saw who had made it through the new system, and that, that broke me. Oh dip Donkey Doug! (“Oh dip…you’re Donkey Doug!” (that’s a deep cut of my favorite blooper ever from the blooper reel of season 3.)) The best thing about this show was on full display – its perfect blend of heavy moments and deep thoughts with ridiculous comedy. Like Jason’s comment that his goodbye party would play EDM all night and Eleanor saying “well now I’m bummed about two things.” My favorite Eleanor moment during Jason’s section was obviously the jalapeno poppers bit (“what is a jalapeno? Also what is a popper? Also what is jalapeno poppers?” will inexplicably forever be my most quoted line from this show): Jason explains that he knows this is his time, because he realized the air inside his lungs was the same as the air outside his body – the same sort of peaceful feeling as when you bite into a jalapeno popper you think will be too hot but then it’s actually the perfect temperature. Eleanor immediately confirms she knows that feeling, as she would, because she is fellow trash. I always loved their connection as two former trashbags with similar experiences, and I’m glad they had another such moment in the finale.
Through seemingly throwaway lines, the writers pack in so much information. When we see Doug Forcett overdoing it on fried chicken (Doug Forcett got in!!), Chidi says “good thing you chose your young body!” So we know that everyone we see from here on didn’t necessarily die at whatever age we see them; you get to pick what age you’ll spend eternity as. Noice. Smort. And when Pillboi (I cried so hard when we saw that Pillboi made it; I love him so much) in his toast that includes the phrase “Caspers the Ghost”, the best pluralization ever, says that Jason is his hero, it makes me believe that everyone who makes it to the Good Place learns about the people responsible for this new system. Thinking about how Doug and Pillboi know that Jason is responsible for saving every soul in the universe, and how Uzo knows that about Chidi, and how Donna knows that about Eleanor, and how Tahani’s parents know, it wrecks me.
But nothing wrecks me more than (well every minute of this finale) when Janet and Michael talk about being sad that Jason’s leaving, because FRIENDSHIP! THE REASON IS FRIENDSHIP! Ever since “Janet and Michael” in season 2, their relationship has been my favorite (they are all my favorite relationships but come on). It’s so special to watch the only two non-humans on Team Cockroach help each other grow during all these crazy experiences.
The most important part of Jason’s section (well, his first) is Janet explaining that she doesn’t experience time like humans do, and that she is living all times at once. We need to hear this so we’re not depressed at the thought of everyone eventually leaving Janet, thinking about how one day all her friends will be gone. For her, they aren’t. WE NEED THIS.
I was a little bummed that we said goodbye to Jason so quickly, but oh dip! We didn’t! The second half surprise that, since he lost the necklace he made for Janet, he looked for it (it was in the other pocket, obviously) and then waited until she came back to the forest – for thousands of years – was the best surprise. He passed all that time pretty chill, just letting his mind wander and thinking about the universe. LIKE A MONK. Jason, having started the show pretending to be Jianyu the monk, ending up monking it up harder than any monk ever has. That’s the kind of full circle Amy Sherman Palladino wishes she could write. So beautiful. Pretending to be Jianyu was torture for Jason, since he had to control his impulsivity, so his time in the forest proved that he had conquered all his worst traits and then some. He was complete, and he was ready.
But not before the greatest line ever on this show full of the best lines ever: Jason says goodbye again to Janet, and runs through the door shouting, “Chidi, wait up!” after Chidi had gone through (more on that soon). It’s so adorably dumb and perfectly Jason – he still sort of has no clue what’s going on, but it also shows how sweet and innocent he is and how much he cares about his friends: no matter what happened to his friend, or what form his essence is in, he’s coming to hang.
Fun facts:
- The passing yards Jason achieved in his perfect game of Madden totaled 12358.
- The actor playing Doug Forcett isn’t really an actor, he’s a comedy writer. So he didn’t know not to really eat all the food he was stuffing in his face take after take. He threw up after filming his scene.
- The subtitles have no idea what Pillboi says at the end of his toast: He calls Jason his ‘Gardner Minshew’, the footballer who replaced Nick Foles after he broke his clavicle (‘FOOOOOOOOOLES!’). This show taught me so much about literally every subject.
“It is I, Tahani.”
Next, 323.6 Bearimys later, Tahani has become an expert woodworker (and is wearing overalls, incredible), along with completing nearly 10,000 other afterlife goals she set. We need to look at her list:
- Land a triple axel (made me realize I would TOTES take up figure skating in the Good Place. You can’t break your head!)
- Solve the Poincare conjecture (lol NERD)
- Perform Il Dolce Suono from Lucia di Lammermoor at La Scala (is Tahani’s list my list?)
- Burp the alphabet (I CAN ALREADY DO THIS!)
- Become a master woodworker (okay it’s officially not my list)
- Learn how to repave a driveway (see above)
- Break Graham Gooch’s record of 456 runs in a single test (what are these words)
- Master conducting – orchestra (alright)
- Master conducting – train (lolol best joke for Z)
- Beat NBA Jam on all-star (??)
- Free Solo the Colossus of Rhodes (even when already dead I’d be too scared for this)
- Fix the Jesus fresco that lady messed up (this is the FUNNIEST FORKING THING EVER)
- Tahani al-Jamil’s ‘Borges’s “Pierre Menard, Author of the Quixote’”” (WTF DOES THIS MEAN)
- Make a vegan dessert that nobody suspects if vegan (ughhh Mikey my boy you still have a long way to go with your unfunny vegan jokes. This isn’t a hard thing to accomplish – if a food is bad, it’s not because it’s vegan, it’s because it’s bad. We’ve all had bad desserts and they weren’t bad due to the presence or lack of milk or eggs. They were bad because the person making it didn’t know what they were doing. Ughhh)
- Invent new musical instrument (I’d rather learn all the existing ones)
- Really nail the Lisa Left Eye Lopes rap from ‘Waterfalls’ (DONE)
- Finish Infinite Jest (NEVER)
- Spend one meaningful day with my parents [and she ending up having thousands! Ughh the best!]
- Defuse a bomb (YES)
- Fly a helicopter (NO)
- Perfect the backhand slice (DONE, BABIES)
When Janet tells Tahani, “the thing you wanted me to tell you when it happened? It happened”, I thought OMG IS IT KAMILLAH OR HER PARENTS, KAMILLAH OR HER PARENTS? The cut to her already being BFF with her sister and them living together (soulmates!) wrecked me so hard. Kamillah already made it and they have the relationship they always wanted. It was too much, and then you realize that that means the parents are coming. When her mother opened by shouting “My darlings!” oh my god if you didn’t gasp cry then you are dead inside. It was perfect, it was too much, it was beautiful. I keep thinking of that moment. It’s some of the best TV ever. How they built up that journey for this family, seeing how much they tortured Tahani, and then how she was responsible for them not being tortured forever but being redeemed so they could all enjoy what they missed out on, it might be the most emotionally meaningful argument for what they’re trying to say.
At Tahani’s goodbye party, she namedrops Frank Gehry (how many godparents does this b have!!) and we get a treat of seeing that John has made it as well, and as always he swans in and out faster than you can track and is at the ready with the funniest g-d line (“Alexander the Fine”) and gone before you catch your breath. He was such a great addition this season. Tahani realizes that she isn’t ready to leave through the door, but she wants to leave the Good Place – and train to be an afterlife architect, like Michael. This is my favorite. I love that not all the humans went through, and I love that Tahani is REALLY committing to helping people, and not just talking about it like she did on earth. On the podcast earlier this season, Jameela talked about how much she loved Tahani’s special growth and journey and we didn’t know what she was talking about until this great decision. Whereas Jason came full circle to how he started as Jianyu, Tahani finally became what she pretended to be on earth: someone who really and truly helps people, as well as an incredibly accomplished woman. She can literally do everything now, and she helped save humanity. (And she “snogged Ryan Gosling. Couple of times, actually.”)
I also loved that she trained all the animals, including the server panda. BUT QUESTION: Is this a magic panda that she trained to wait on her? Or did she train a regular panda to speak, serve, &c, and so she trained him to be magic? IF IT’S THE LATTER, and we know that Jeremy Bearimy works in mysterious ways, THEN MY BIG QUESTION IS GOING TO REMAIN IN ALL CAPS: IS THIS REGULAR PANDA THAT SHE TRAINED TO DO MAGICAL THINGS THE SAME MAGIC PANDA THAT JASON REFERENCES IN SEASON 2 THAT THEY SHOULD CAPTURE AND USE TO HELP THEM????!!!!!!!!! Did Tahani train the magic panda that then somehow was the panda that showed up two seasons ago??!! that’s some ‘Interstellar’ time shit right there.
Tahani and Michael go to the architects offices, and there we get a whole bunch of amazingness in a short time: Brett is on a TV screen in the hallway, being debriefed after another failed test. I like to think that his line of questioning shows he is really trying to think through his actions, and just still has a lot of work to do, but he will make it eventually. Then we see Glenn, my fave, who is super excited to have Tahani on his team! It’s so sweet! And craziest of all, Shawn is there, and although his face and tone still say evil, he’s…he’s pretty much not. It’s so forking good, as is his never-ending ‘ever, ever, ever’ delivery.
Fun facts:
- Nick Offerman (not Ron Swanson) makes it to the Good Place, which is fun (hope he learned in his tests to stop making stupid vegan jokes), but not as fun as knowing that the chair he’s praising, that Tahani has crafted, he actually despised in real life. They couldn’t get the $50,000 chair Nick suggested they get for this scene (wonder why) and he said that the chair they chose was so poorly made that his woodworking friends were going to make fun of him for praising it on TV.
- The al Jamils watch ‘Home Alone’ together on movie night, the movie Tahani was afraid of when Jason first showed her, but now she’s not afraid of her family abandoning her. (“you hear that? I’m not afraid anymore!”)
- Kamillah was painting waves.
- When Michael and Tahani go into the hub where the Doorman sits (now so much livelier and busier due to all the happenings in the universe, I love it), you can see (mostly hear) Trevor screaming as he flies across the space. In season 3, the judge pinged him off the bridge, and he has been pinging around every since. I CANNOT WITH THIS SHOW.
- Michael’s gift to Tahani on her first day as an intern is the peacock bowtie he wore in the pilot.
Chidi Annakendrick time.
When the screen showed that another 661.7 Bearimys had past, I started hyperventilating knowing that this was going to be the Eleanor and Chidi section. We start with the two nerd lovers reading, Eleanor finally finishing Scanlon’s What We Owe to Each Other (the book she ripped to write the ‘Eleanor – Find Chidi’ note), and Chidi reading The Da Vinci Code, calling it a garbage book. Our favorite pair still seems as happy together as ever, despite thousands and thousands of Bearimys spent together, but Chidi you can tell is weary. They have another fun dinner with their friends – Simone, who I sobbed seeing, along with Eleanor’s old roommates (the dress bitch made it in!), which also made me sob, and UZO, my favorite! I’m vexed, Uzo, truly vexed! Having this group of people together is the best part; this is what the Good Place should be all about. I love that Eleanor’s old friends haven’t had their personalities changed – they are still trash who want a karaoke bar that’s also a tanning salon, so the harder you go at the song the tanner you get (incred) – but they are better people now. It shows that the system really works. You don’t have to be boring or flat to get in; you can be yourself as long as you’re a decent person.
Anyway this group made me so happy and so cry. But when Eleanor says how fun it was, Chidi says yeah, it’s always fun, all the hundreds or thousands of times they’ve gone out with this group. We also learn that Donna and Chidi’s parents have made it in and have met many times. Chidi recounts these facts in a tired manner – everything he ever wanted, he got long ago. Chidi is ready to go, you know right away, and so does Eleanor. Oh my god, the sobbing. How does one leave the other?
I’m so glad I forgot that people saw the show filming in Europe last year, so I got to enjoy the surprise Athens and Paris emergency getaways as intended. This was an incredible section, not just for the views of the acrompolympse (this is how I pronounce it so I may as well be honest in my writing it) but for focusing solely on Eleanor and Chidi’s story. They deserved it after all they’ve been through. They got to go up the acrompolympse before it opened to the public one morning, and the local Greek crew was so emotional that it makes me emotional to think about. I went once and it was packed to the gills with sweaty tourists, so this is nice.
People always point to “Janets” as evidence of how good D’Arcy Carden is (rightly so), but her best performance for me might be the subtle faces she makes during this section. You can see on her face that she is going to help Eleanor, but she knows it’s wrong. If Chidi is ready, then you need to let him go. She does say this eventually, but her face said it first, and continues to show her disagreement with Eleanor while continuing to help.
After Athens, Janet zipped them to Paris, where the weather was indeed perfect for Paris: overcast and chilly. The cut right to Sacre Coeur made me cry too even though my only really strong memory from all my visits is hilarious (my cousin and I tried to buy Invicta backpacks off of Italian tourists on these steps, eventually successfully, and we met a man who kept saying “yes yes I write many books!”). We knew Chidi had lived in Paris, and when he walked to his old apartment, you could feel him saying goodbye to everything he did in his life. Eleanor finally admits to him that she knew he wanted to leave and didn’t want him to because she was always abandoned and alone on earth, and it is heartbreaking. She’s overcome so many of her terrible traits but she’s still scared of being alone forever. But the biggest problem she overcame is her selfishness, and so she quickly realizes that the last selfless act she has to do is let him go. She says she owes it to him to let him go, calling back to Scanlon (and the whole message of the show, really). THIS SHOW IS PERFECT.
If you weren’t crying the entire time already, this really started the unending cry wave. Chidi’s goodbye party was done silently, with just that music that was too much playing, so it was a punch in the gut. It was so well done, so perfect, and so sad. And then it got worse (/better), when Chidi talked about the wave returning to the ocean and hot goddamn, this is the most beautiful idea ever. I’m not going to copy it here because it will cheapen it, but it shares an incredible idea, and the perfect Eleanor and Chidi ending, along with his beefcake calendar. Ugh my heart. With Chidi’s final exit, his journey was perfectly completed, since unlike everyone else, he didn’t need to sit on the bench till he was ready. He was ready, and he strode right through – the biggest decision in the entire universe, he made easily. He was complete.
Fun facts:
- It took Eleanor 2000 Bearimys to finish Scanlon’s book, a joke Schur included because he still hasn’t finished it.
- We learn that Tommy Quine Quine made it in, along with the show’s real philosophy advisors, Professors Todd May and Pamela Hieronymi (seen in Chidi’s class).
- A few episodes ago in the judge’s chambers, Chidi asked for some warm pretzels, because if he was going out, he was going out with a belly full of warm pretzels. In Athens, Eleanor and Chidi walk down the street eating koulouri, a typical snack that is sooort of like a soft pretzel! He’s going out with a belly full of sort-of soft pretzels.
- Eleanor and Chidi are the first people to be together for thousands and thousands of years and still use the terms girlfriend and boyfriend.
- The music played over Chidi’s party is the incredible Spiegel im Spiegl by Avro Part. It broke me.
- Someone translated the calendar that Chidi gave Eleanor, and two of the big chunks of text are lyrics to “The Power of Love”. There’s also a day called Monday2.
Eleanor and Michael
My favorite trashbag and the best demon in the world had the most unbelievable journeys. Michael went from an evil demon wanting to torture humans in a new fun way to helping save all of humanity and truly loving humans more than anything. Eleanor went from a mean loner who was Arizona shrimp horny to saving humanity with her best friends. Her ethical journey, shown from the layman’s perspective, helped simplify the immense concepts of the show, making all the lofty goals palatable and natural. When you think about how much she sucked on earth, it really shows how strong and how smart this new system is, how much it could help nearly everybody and how even people who suck may be worthy of redemption. Eleanor was not a good person before, and now she is our hero.
However, she’s not ready to move on, despite years now without Chidi, even though she wants to be ready. Letting him go was one of her most selfless acts, showing how much she’s grown. But she needs to keep helping the people close to her who remain, so she can be sure she did everything she could to make them happy. First, that means a return to my favorite person in the entire world, Mindy St. Clair. Mindy stayed in the Medium Place this entire forking time, rebooting Derek so many times that now he is, I don’t even know what he is, an all-powerful being that is at once a singular point in space but also contains space itself, whose moment of creation is now the same as the inevitable heat death of the universe. So yeah, he sounds super annoying. Niednagel outdid himself on this new Derek form, with the swirling martini glasses that also have Dereks in them, and those Dereks also have martini glasses. It’s INCREDIBLE.
Mindy is still crabby and blasé about her existence. It makes a kind of poignant, lovely sense that she is the worst case version of Eleanor, if Eleanor continued to always be alone, and that’s why Eleanor needs to help her. It makes me cry all over again thinking about how all their stories connect. Mindy doesn’t want just anyone in charge of her if she decides to go through the system so she can go to the Good Place – but now Tahani is an architect (with the best line, “Mindy St. Clair as I neither live nor breathe”) who could handle her case. It’s beautiful, as is Mindy’s thank you to Eleanor about how she never gave a crap about herself, so it’s nice that Eleanor gave a crap about her. Of course her capper is the hysterical line “I’m really glad I filmed you having sex”. Typical Mindy.
But ensuring Mindy’s eventual salvation isn’t enough. The most important player in this whole epic is still left: Michael. The reveal of what Eleanor realizes she needs to do for Michael is magically done, starting with Maya Rudolph smacking her desk and shouting “COCKAMAMIE” as no one else could. I was in the middle of thinking ‘that was one of the best moments ever’ but then it cut to the one that rips your heart out: Eleanor saying, “Michael, come on in.” That mirroring of his famous first line, plus the mirroring of Eleanor’s 1.13 speech (“it took me a while to figure it out” &c.) absolutely slayed me. That is incredible writing. Michael becoming a real boy, Pinocchio, is of course where his story has been heading the entire time; I just never guessed. Eleanor and Janet warn him that life will be hard (“you have blood now!”) and that they don’t know if the system will still be the same when he dies, and he says “that’s what makes it special. I won’t exactly know what will happen after I die. Nothing more human than that.” That’s it man, that’s the whole thing. Oh man Ted Danson is THE BEST.
The waterworks continue courtesy of the Doorman finally getting a real frog and from another big Janet Moment. She was never sad about the others, because she knew they were ready to be at peace with the universe (and she lives all times at once so won’t be lonely (I’m really holding fast to that)). But with Michael going to earth, she’s really sad, because she will be worried about him the entire time and unable to help him. I love them.
The shots of Michael’s life on earth are hilarious – he does everything he wanted to do as a human, including take guitar lessons. He has a big oafy dog named Jason, with a Jaguars bowtie (of course he named the dog Jason, Jason is a puppy). And you may have noticed he lived in apartment 322 (the number of residents in his neighborhood) at 12358 Blatta Vista (the number of his neighborhood, and Blatta means cockroach. Team Cockroach for life). I don’t think I ever cried as hard as I did during the last five minutes, when Eleanor and Janet say goodbye, when Eleanor walks through the door, and when we finally see what happens. It’s just vague enough that everyone can decide for themselves what they want to believe. All the existing little firefly lights, the essences of people who have walked through the door, are joined by Eleanor’s lights, and they float to earth and inspire humans to be just a little better. I honestly still can’t believe what one of her little lights brought about on earth, to Michael Realman, the stupidest best name. This ending is so gorgeous and so perfect. I’m blown away by what they accomplished. Our humans worked so hard to become better people and they forever inspire others to do the same, regardless of their own form of existence. Some people don’t understand the point of the door, saying that if they had eternity in the Good Place they’d enjoy it forever. Well, bully for you. I get it though. As Chidi says in his philosophy class, “mortality offers meaning to our lives” (“and morality helps navigate that meaning”, the point of the show). All good things need to come to an end eventually, otherwise they wouldn’t be good. I feel that, my little chili babies. Hot diggity dog this was the best forking show ever.
Okay that’s enough crying. Take it sleazy.
“Mother Courage And Her Children” in London: War is Terrible, Theatre is Fantastic
It’s pretty rough out there, with war-mongering racists and Nazis and sexists running things (into the ground). So there’s no better help for dealing with all of these real-life horrors than sitting through a three-hour play about how terrible war is for everyone. No I’m not being sarcastic. Southwark Playhouse’s production of “Mother Courage and Her Children”, the anti-war epic play from Bertolt Brecht, is a small, simple, yet powerful one about how even those who think they might profit or benefit somehow from war will suffer. There are two things you can count on, really: War is terrible for everyone, and the Southwark Playhouse will always put on quality productions. Even though my attention span usually maxes out after about 15 minutes (usually when I have to pee), I thought this was a stellar show. Sure I was a ball of sorrow for the rest of that day but who isn’t nowadays!
True to form, Brecht didn’t set the play during Nazi rule but during the Thirty Years War in the 1600s, involving all the Eurozone. He tells the story of Mother Courage, the name everyone in Sweden knows a middle-aged woman named Anna by, who sells goods out of a rickety wagon with the help of her three children, all from different fathers. We have the honest but dumb (“they said you were pretty but dumb….no I’m sorry that’s ‘pretty dumb’”) Swiss Cheese, in a name that I’m SURE could have been translated better from the German but okay, it doesn’t completely take you out of the serious moments to hear people wailing about a guy named Swiss Cheese or anything; the arrogant and aggressive Eilif, who you know what I’m actually gonna describe as braggodocious; and the mute Kattrin, who obviously has trouble communicating but who often (and crucially) manages to find a way. Mother Courage isn’t a particularly good person. She likes when there’s a war going on, because she can make a decent business selling supplies and food and whatever else to soldiers. Her mind for business seems to take precedence over anything else, including her morality and her common sense.
This production boasts a translation from the original German (real name: Mutter Courage und ihre Kinder LOVES IT) by Tony Kushner, the writer of “Angels in America” Mother Courage is portrayed by Josie Lawrence, who I only knew from the British version of ‘Whose Line Is It Anyway” back in the day. She is a genius improviser, and it turns out a pretty genius actress too. (Who knew? Oh everyone in Britain. Her bio in the programme is the longest one I’ve ever seen.) Josie deftly makes Courage a bit likable at times while also being hard to root for since she loves war and everything, and puts making money ahead of everything else, even her children.
When we meet Courage and the kiddies, they’re pulling the knickknack wagon into a camp where a few officers are trying to recruit more soldiers into the Swedish army. Interested in the children, the officers try to persuade them to sign up. Courage is like, hell no, get away from my kids, and hey I’m going to tell your fortune. She puts pieces of paper in a hat, some with black crosses on them, which foretell the officers’ deaths. The officer chooses a slip with the black cross, oh no he gon die. Well yeah it’s war. The kiddies want to play too because kids love games (they are young adults btw not toddlers like I’m making them sound) and Courage is like oh sure okay I know you’re all going to get blank ones because we are the rare few blessed during wartimes. Of course, all three children pull pieces of paper with black crosses, so we know from the start that they’re gon die too. You would think that Courage would get her kids as far away from the warzone as possible to try to save them from their fate, but she loves war and selling her goods so they stay in the thick of it. In fact, Eilif, the terrible, signs up to army (mother) right then and there, not really caring that he’s probably (definitely) going to die in it; he just really wants to start slaughtering people (true). Courage wails a little but then moves on with Swiss Cheese (can I call him something else) and Kattrin, pulling the wagon and selling their wares to the next camp of soldiers.
Between scenes, we’re to understand that years are passing. The next time we see the conceited Eilif, played by a kind of terrifyingly effective Jake Phillips Head (Screwdriver), he’s the toast of the battalion and the general’s new favorite because he killed a bunch of peasants and stole their cattle. Like…that’s not a good thing guys. War is despicable. Courage runs into him (Sweden so small?) and yells at him not for slaughtering civilians but for putting himself in danger. Good job teaching him how to not be evil. This is a good time to tell you that the play features several very strange songs to augment the action, songs actually featured in the original, which I couldn’t believe. They really do (sometimes) complement the rest of the drama, but they veered into kind of silly very often. And because of the, shall we say, interesting acoustics and sound setup caused by the rickety tarped-in room, they all had to kind of shout, so everyone’s singing voice became a shouty voice and it sounded super gravelly and all I could think was ‘alright I’m shouting. I’m shouting I’m shouting I’m shouting!” Still, the songs did work, mostly.
The next scene, a few years later, we meet Yvette, the camp prostitute (is everyone named Yvette in dramatic works a prostitute?) who is a welcome bit of fun into all this darkness. Played by a hilarious and fully committed Laura Checkley, she’s all floozy and bestockinged and Courage tells Kattrin ‘don’t fraternize with soldiers and end up like her!’ and Yvette sings a song about fraternizing (literally it’s called The Fraternization Song). Kattrin tries on her high heels in secret and prances about with scarves and stuff pretending to be a pros (‘my daughter was a pros”). When Courage sees her, she flips out and Kattrin breaks down, being somewhat developmentally delayed, and Courage tries to comfort her in a manner we see repeated throughout the show. Maybe if you didn’t upset her in the first place, Courage, but anyway, the relationship between the two is really quite well done and I loved how Josie would stroke Phoebe’s face in the same manner every time. The actress, Phoebe Vigor, was remarkably good considering she had no lines. I thought she was consistently effective. I might be biased because she looked like my friend from high school.
Meanwhile, Swiss Cheese…you know what, I’m gonna call him Gary, in honor of the UK vegans calling vegan cheese Gary. Gary is played by a strong Julian Moore-Cook. So Gary by now has gotten a job in the army not as a soldier but as a paymaster, something Courage could approve since he watches over all the money. And since he’s such an honest fool, he’ll never be guilty of stealing or cooking the books. Of course, his good intentions backfire, and when he is in possession of the cash box for the regiment, the Catholics invade. He hides the cash box so it doesn’t get stolen, but the Catholics capture him and torture him to give it up, which he won’t do. He’s a pretty good guy. Unfortunately, his mother isn’t the best, and when she has a chance to sell her wagon to pay off the captors to free her son, she doesn’t. This intense scene took the air out of the room a bit. Instead of selling the wagon, Courage has the idea to pawn it and then buy it back by using the money in the cashbox, which she assumes Gary will help her find. So she plans to offer the captors the full amount she got in the pawn, but then she learns that Gary threw the box in the river, thus denying her the opportunity to get the money back immediately. Even though her son’s life is on the line, she backtracks on the price and offers less than the full amount she has, leaving something for her to use to get her business back up. When she gets word that the captors rejected her offer, she finally jfc decides to offer all the money she has, but it’s too late. One down two to go. This was the worst part, because Gary was the nice one and this was the clearest instance of Courage’s backward priorities causing tragedy. Josie was scarily believable in this scene, hesitating before making her offers so you could sense her really weighing her choices, thinking for a second about what she wanted to save more, her son or her business, and making us wonder whether any common sense or clarity was getting through to her at all.
Oh so meanwhile, a chaplain from Eilif’s camp (David Shelley) has been traveling with Courage and the kids for a while and he continues with them for many years after, for reasons unknown. I mean he probably loves her but, like, why. Shelley is great in this role, and he comes off the best in the songs, I think. Those weird ass songs. They work but they’re so strange, a mix of folk songs and super emo ragers and Irish drinking songs. Anyway the chaplain proposes to Courage at one point but she turns him down because she likes really shitty men more, like this army cook she runs into every now and then who somehow makes a good impression on her even though he’s the embodiment of white male commenters on youtube.
A few years later, they get word that the war has ended. No one knew for a few days because news didn’t travel as quickly as it does now. Courage is pissed because she still has all this stock to sell and her business is more important that the lives that will be saved now. Unfortunately for Eilif, his is the rare life that peace will be the downfall of, because he did another peasant-killing spree for no good reason, and now that it was peacetime, this same exact action that made him the general’s favorite during wartime is now grounds for execution. Courage is out trying to sell her goods to townspeople before they find out it’s peacetime, so she didn’t know about her next son’s death. It’s unclear whether she ever finds out, actually. But there’s another twist: News travels so slow back in these times that not only did they not hear about peace for a few days, they didn’t immediately hear that the peace lasted like an hour and it actually IS war time still! Isn’t Courage so happy! She loves war! Kind of a shame that if they waited like thirty more minutes the army would have given Eilif a medal for his actions instead of killing him, but he was a shit person anyway soooo not too sad.
But as the years pass, supplies and food dwindle to nothingness, and Courage is left alone with Kattrin and the shitty cook, who had driven off the chaplain with his mean and immature youtubery. As they all traverse the countryside starving and broke, the cook finds out that he inherited an inn in Utrecht and asks Courage to go there with him and start a new life with actual shelter – but without Kattrin. She ugly. Or something, that’s the kind of thing he would say. Courage for some unknown reason really is into the cook, so it’s kind of surprising when she shows a heart and quotes Lifetime movies: “not without my daughter!” So then he leaves (every scene someone else departs and leaves Courage to pick up more of the slack), and Courage and Kattrin have to pull the pretty empty wagon alone.
Later, they’re staying with a peasant family one night and Courage goes into the town to do some trading. But the Catholics invade and force the peasants to show them into the city where they’re going to kill everyone. The peasants capitulate because they don’t want the soldiers to hurt them but like aren’t they going to kill everyone anyway?? Kattrin, showing unbelievable strength and maybe the only one with a moral compass, climbs on the roof and beats a drum in order to wake the townspeople and warn them of what’s coming. The soldiers shoot her but not before she succeeds in her pretty valiant mission. I thought Phoebe was so good in this scene, maybe because I was just so thirsty for one character in this show to show some selflessness and morality and when it finally happened I was quick to give all the credit to the actress, but still, she was so determined and emotional. Just great work, which was followed by more great work from Josie who mourned her last child, gave her to the peasants to bury, and then struggled to pull her wagon all alone. Did she learn at this point that war is terrible? It’s unclear, whether she gathers her strength to go back to business because it’s what she has to do and it’s all she knows, or because it’s all she can do with her life now. But it’s clear to the audience that no one wins in war and nothing good ever comes from it. Except good art, I guess.
INFORMATION
Mother Courage is playing at the Southwark Playhouse until Saturday, December 9. Tickets are stupid cheap for shows here considering how high the quality usually is. The house is rearranged so that it’s two sets of bleachers facing each other and the cast runs through the aisles a lot. Very small and intimate.
STAGEDOOR
Southwark doesn’t really have a stagedoor because the cast comes through the lobby and bar area and everyone just mingles. Fun!