Hamlet at the Young Vic: What Can't Cush Jumbo Do?by Randi / November 12, 2021Those of you who know me, or who have been around here for a while, know that Friends is like water to me. And I drink more water than you think is healthy. I’ve needed Friends as a sort of lifeblood since I was a wee behbeh watching it on live TV. With everything you’ve ever said to me, I’ve immediately thought of the most applicable line from Friends in response and smiled to myself. Instead of my daily dose of viewing therapy (it’s not weird) one recent night, I went over to Wilton’s Music Hall (my fave London venue because I can pee at home and barely need shoes) to catch Brendan Murphy’s absolutely hysterical one-man show ‘Friend (The One With Gunther)’.
This 70-minute romp features Murphy in a sometimes-chaotic constantly energetic rehashing of all 10 seasons of the best show ever made from the perspective of the barista with hair brighter than the sun. It’s not so much an impression of Gunther that Murphy is giving in his portrayal, as he doesn’t waste time trying to act or sound like him, but more of an homage, a pledge of allegiance to appreciating what Gunther did as the only legitimate candidate for the oft-debated slot of ‘7th friend’. Gunther was in the most episodes after the main 6 cast members – 148 of the total 236 – and became a necessary part of the show, as familiar and constant as the couch in Central Perk. He’s usually a welcome sight to catch in the background, but when he comes more to the fore, he steals the show. His limited but potent lines reminded us that he was probably the best representation of our civilian selves on that screen, with his estimation and his annoyance with the main six.
In ‘Friend’, Murphy is a whirlwind of energy running around that stage. Gunther would never move so fast, but Murphy is instantly winning nonetheless. I started cracking up fast and furious right at the start when Murphy does a win-sided phincall and is telling his friend “yeah I’ll be about 70 minutes…yeah I expanded it a bit since the Fringe.” I was in hard on this comedy even though it had nothing to do with Friends yet. That sentiment continued as Murphy morphed into Gunther and told his early childhood tale: a clear paraphrase of Dr. Evil’s monologue in Austin Powers, you know the one, where he says his father claims he invented the question mark? I think husbo and I were the only ones who realized it was this excellent monologue, not because it’s niche but because we were the only non-drunks. These opening segments had me hooked and they were all clearly Murphy’s brand of comedy, not Gunther’s, which makes me want to see more from him on other subjects.
And then it moved on to the main subject, ‘Friends’ from Gunther’s perspective. Murphy told us the expected details – how he was in love with Rachel and how much he hated Ross, etc – as he attempted a rapid-fire run-through of every season and all the big plot points and what it was like for Gunther as opposed to Ross, Rachel, Monica, Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe. As we went on, the show seemed to split into two aspects: the portrayal of Gunther sharing the deets as he lived them, vs a non-Gunther entity sharing a history of the show and its other minor players. The attempted run-through of all 10 seasons regardless of their import to Gunther’s story plus all the minor characters that Gunther never interacted with felt unnecessary and too divided from a core concept. And the non-Gunther-entity segments included a little too much audience work, like some trivia that felt too separated from a Gunther tribute.
However, these are just thoughts I’ve having thinking of it as a play and trying to consider its central thesis. But treated as a comedy show, who cares about a thesis if you are laughing your ass off the whole time. It doesn’t matter that the thread of what Gunther experienced is dropped at some point, and it doesn’t matter that Murphy’s tenuous enactment of our fave side character becomes more and more detached. It’s all really funny, most of all when he leans hard into his crush on Rachel and hatred of Ross and comes out the other end with the “Stan” segment, a work of complete and inspired genius. I was falling off my chair at this part – it’s so perfect.
This One With Gunther was more of a tribute to ‘Friends’ as a whole in the guise of being a tribute to this one fan favorite character rather than a legitimately full tribute to this character. However, it still felt like such a lovely treat to be able to experience so soon after the death of James Michael Tyler. My connection to Friends runs real deep (as it does for so many people even though I never could believe anyone else knew or loved it as much as I did until I saw this show and accepted that Murphy probably does) and so too does my assumed connection to all the characters after a lifetime of considering them like actual friends. Gunther is the first biggie that we’ve had to say goodbye to in real life and it’s a weird thing to grapple with, the death of someone you didn’t know who played someone you did know but who didn’t know you. It’s complicated to try to grieve for that person. What does it matter that it’s all a TV show?
I’m thus grateful to this show for giving me a timely outlet for thinking about Gunther a little more, and so glad that it turned out to be a hysterical original show and a great time. I’m only a little bit still full of hot rage fire at the audience, who was 90% messy sloppy drunks. They were so loud, literally shouting to each other, asking their friends at the other end of the row and behind them (jfc) if they wanted some of the wine they were passing around. They shouted to Murphy as though the show was a conversation, preempting his next lines (nb he was not asking for call and response). They were the kind of people that so badly wanted to prove that they knew all the inside jokes that they would ruin the joke for everyone else. People, you don’t have to prematurely scream ‘oh smelly cat!’ to show the rest of us that you are in on the joke. It’s ‘Friends’. EVERYONE IN THE WORLD is in on the joke. They were the kind of audience members that are blatant pathetic attention seekers, the ones who badly want everyone’s attention on them instead of the onstage talent and who you pity as a result but hate them for ruining your experience. It’s a testament to how much fun this show is that they didn’t completely ruin our time, though they were that bad that it was a close call. Brendan actually worked in jokes about the dozen-large group we were amidst, because he had to, they were that obviously disruptive. I’m mad that people like this who have no concern for anyone else around them in life get away with shit like this with no repercussions. They had a blast while we heard their loud chatter over what Brendan was saying a lot of time and suffered for it. When a few of them put their phones up and started filming, an usher halfheartedly waved to them to say no and then left. Great enforcement guys! They didn’t even see her. Anyway, this audience was full of pathetic pieces and that was a shame. Gunther would call these people azels, and then we serve them sneezers.
Related Posts
David Bowie’s Lazarus Musical is Weird and Wacky AF, & a Great Tribute to Him
It’s Theatre Thursday! Last weekend, King’s Cross Theatre’s 2016 production of the musical Lazarus was streamed online by Dice FM. It initially played off-Broadway in 2015, at the New York Theatre Workshop.
First things first: This was directed by Ivo van Hove. When the “Directed by…Ivo van Hove” appeared in the opening credits (livestream theatre gets opening credits!!), husbo and I simultaneously groaned ‘Iv-ughhhhhhhhh.’ We’re gonna get some live images projected onto a movie screen in this bitch! The Ivo special! No but seriously, I’ve been very open about my distaste for Ivo van Pony’s one trick and general misogynist lens through which he directs, but maybe since he was new-ish in 2015 it didn’t seem as tired. Also, out of all the shows where he showed off his filmophilia, this one made the most sense.
I obviously mean ‘made the most sense’ as in ‘for him to use his video screen schtick’, not that the actual show itself made any goddamn sense. Lazarus is for sure up there on my Top 10 List of Theatre Where WHAT THE FUCK??? IS?? HAPPENING??? But unlike so many that seemed to be confusing and weird just for the sake of being confusing and weird, Lazarus’s ambiguity wasn’t offensive to my existence. With Bowie’s music and the effective, stark staging, the vague plots and the unhinged sense of what’s real and what’s imagined all worked well together, a rare treat for a show that had us saying literally every two minutes “no but seriously what the fuck???”
Inspired by the 1963 novel The Man Who Fell to Earth by Walter Tevis, Lazarus the musical continues that story of an alien who became trapped on Earth and is desperate to get back to his planet! So sad!! (Yes, Bowie starred in the 1976 movie adaptation of the book, hence his connection to the material so it’s not as random as it seems that he made this musical.) Filled with classic Bowie songs plus more he wrote specifically for this musical, Lazarus uses that mystical aspect of Bowie’s music to heighten the otherworldly tale.
Playing the sad, now alcoholic, alien named Newton who has lost so much in addition to his homeland, Michael C. Hall continues to impress in his musical endeavors. Newton, all set with money and alcohol, stays put in his apartment, doing nothing but drinking (and speaking in a strange, unidentifiable accent (which I guess makes sense because alien)), even though it’s not quarantine for him. All he wants is to numb his pain and somehow return home. He gets a lift of hope from the trapped fairy spirit of a teenage girl, played by Sophia Anne Caruso of Beetlejuice fame, who promises him that she will help free him from his earthly shackles.
The story blends reality and imagination constantly, and it’s never clear which characters are really seeing something happen, whether/how they all could be, or whether they’re all in Newton’s head. The appearance of the serial killer Valentine, played by Michael Esper, is a real mindfork, because you’re like a) is he actually killing real people and do all the characters SEE THIS and this is awful I wasn’t prepared for a scary movie and b) can Michael C. Hall ONLY do serial killer projects??? Likewise, I find it hilarious that Michael Esper literally only does musicals with scores by rock stars (I’ve seen him in The Last Ship (Sting), American Idiot (Green Day), and now this (David Bowie)).
Esper’s Valentine is so extraordinarily creepy that I had nightmares after. Luckily, the scariness was a little lessened by all the vagueness of what was happening. I loved this one scene where he stabbed Newton’s friend and then Newton’s assistant Elly was holding the body even though she wasn’t there, right, and Newton was hugging him all bloody? And then like a dozen random actors came across doing the tango and laying on the floor and crawling around? Don’t think about it too hard too too hard.
The entire Elly plot is a total mindfork. Played by Amy Lennox, Elly starts to take on the persona of Newton’s former love, whose loss has crushed him, and he is not cool with it. Elly becomes beholden to Valentine somehow, it’s quite sad and awful but you’re like hey you had the courage to dye your hair blue, can’t you find the strength to GTFO? I would have loved to see Cristin Milioti in the NYC version, although seeing her be so underused, as Elly ultimately was, would probably make me even sadder.
At this point, I am obligated to point out that husbo gasped and said to himself “Ohh, Michael C. Hall isn’t who I thought…” Turns out he was thinking Anthony Michael Hall. Yes, I CRIED laughing.
So there’s a lot of weird stuff going on, but the music and the performances make it magical. Bowie’s songs sound just as great sung by musical theatre actors. My standout moment was when Caruso belts out “Life on Mars” in the clearest tone imaginable. I missed out on Beetlejuice last year so I never have actually heard her sing. Fork there is a reason she became a star at 14. Her voice is so strong and clean and bright (you look happy to meeeet meee). LOVES IT.
So Caruso’s spooky little girl and Newton try a lot of weird shit to get him back to his planet, like drawing a rocket on the floor and also, like, him stabbing her?? IT’S A WEIRD SHOW. Does he get home, or does he die? Or is it the same thing? Dark. It said it was suitable for ages 11 and up but honestly it was barely okay for 30. It is MURDEROUS. Seriously Michael C. Hall can only do projects that have lots of stabbing and lots of blood. Even Hedwig has lots of blood, albeit sung about only. (Yes I saw him in Hedwig and he was FANTASTIC.)
But aside from the blood and the nightmares and the fact that no, I can’t really describe what was going on without just repeating “it was weird as hell”, Lazarus was some g-d remarkable piece of theatre, thanks to Bowie’s music and I’m sure his involvement in the NYC production (he died shortly into that run). He wrote some FORKING GREAT SONGS, you know that? And this is not a jukebox musical. I haven’t worked out my full argument for why not. Maybe because the story isn’t using the songs to put forth some contrived plot but instead, the genius and glory of the music is on display, and any story happening is like our collective effort to try to make sense of how magical it is. And we can’t, so that’s why it’s WEIRD AS HELL.
“Peter Pan Live!”: Could Have Fooled Me, NBC
Watch this instead
This may be totally over as a conversation by now but a) I am not in America and b) I couldn’t get through this in one sitting.
Big takeaway: Peter Pan is a weird ass show. If people came into the NBC musical broadcast without having a background in the story, they would deem it the stuff of nightmares. Mostly the nightmares of people who are against problematic gender norms, pedophilia, kidnapping, and weird sexual relationships. Considering that these live musicals are chosen to appeal to families – i.e. children – I’m sure that this production was indeed the first exposure to Pan for a big portion of the audience. This realization isn’t so much sad as f-ing nuts. Can you imagine seeing this broadcast without having a foundation in the story to protect your soul? Nightmares.
Big takeaway: Peter Pan is a weird ass show. If people came into the NBC musical broadcast without having a background in the story, they would deem it the stuff of nightmares. Mostly the nightmares of people who are against problematic gender norms, pedophilia, kidnapping, and weird sexual relationships. Considering that these live musicals are chosen to appeal to families – i.e. children – I’m sure that this production was indeed the first exposure to Pan for a big portion of the audience. This realization isn’t so much sad as f-ing nuts. Can you imagine seeing this broadcast without having a foundation in the story to protect your soul? Nightmares.
Peter Pan, based on this travesty from NBC, is about a rebellious girl who can fly between worlds. You know she is rebellious because she has short hair, ugly clothing, and a lack of emotion despite a constant smile. This rebel kidnaps two little boys and their inappropriately dressed older aunt and takes them to a modern version of the tunnel scene in Willy Wonka. Although the little boys have a lovely mother with the most beautiful voice ever (and I guess the aunt has such a sister?), their dad is a jackwagon so you’re okay with them getting some air for a while.
One of the boys wears a top hat. All the time. Even at bedtime. Even while flying. The other boy, no doubt scarred by his emotionally unavailable father, can’t think of any happy thoughts except for candy, setting him up for serious dental problems later in life, if not the ‘betus itself.
These three Darling people are tended to by Nana, a big fluffy dog who is smart enough to sense danger and protect her human siblings. Whyyy is the musical not about Nana? One of life’s unanswered questions. That dog is wicked smaht.
Peter Pan and his twinkling ball of light, which we are supposed to accept as a fairy even though we’ve seen full-bodied fairies like Stanley Tucci in “A Midsummer Night’s Dream” and all over New York, teach dear old aunt Wendy and the two boys how to fly, or really how to jerk around panicked and gracelessly when hoisted by very visible wires. Seeing the wires doesn’t bother me as much as everyone’s inability to fly without appearing to have constipation-induced seizures. Why are they so awkward? Did anyone teach them how to do the flying bits? Did they even have a chance to practice flying around before the live show? It doesn’t seem like it. They should have just done all CGI flying if it was going to be this bad.
In very little time at all, thanks to dear old Aunt Wendy’s breathlessness and fluttery eyes, we realize that this is actually a love story between Peter and Wendy, making J. M. Barrie’s tale perhaps the first lesbian fairy tale. But why does Peter, ostensibly a 25-year-old girl, need a 28-year-old girl to tuck her and her male followers in at night? It’s very creepy. But the story is quite progressive: Not only are Peter and Wendy lesbian lovers, but they are in an interspecies love triangle with a jealous ball of light. Wow. Much progress.
So the littlest boy, Michael, starts out as adorable before gradually getting more and more annoying. During the adorable phase, he grabs his teddy bear before flying off to Neverland. That is cute. What’s not cute is what would actually happen to the humans if they flew unprotected by spacesuits between freaking realms. Skin melting and stuff. That might be more entertaining though. This shit be dull. Peter/Allison Williams seems too embarrassed to fully commit to the role as lead lesbian lover. Gotta get over that before the second show.
Commercial break: Cool, a Wal-mart commercial with Melissa Joan Hart and I’m guessing her actual family of husband and three boy children who are playing with a toy fairy. It’s cute until the husband person says “I’m pretending it’s a helicopter.” That’s a cool message to send to all young boys, Wal-Mart, that to be male you can’t play with pretty colored toys or fairies unless you pretend it’s something MACHINE and MANLY. Cool. Outdated gender roles are the coolest. This is a good place to share one of my favorite infographics:
One of the boys wears a top hat. All the time. Even at bedtime. Even while flying. The other boy, no doubt scarred by his emotionally unavailable father, can’t think of any happy thoughts except for candy, setting him up for serious dental problems later in life, if not the ‘betus itself.
These three Darling people are tended to by Nana, a big fluffy dog who is smart enough to sense danger and protect her human siblings. Whyyy is the musical not about Nana? One of life’s unanswered questions. That dog is wicked smaht.
Peter Pan and his twinkling ball of light, which we are supposed to accept as a fairy even though we’ve seen full-bodied fairies like Stanley Tucci in “A Midsummer Night’s Dream” and all over New York, teach dear old aunt Wendy and the two boys how to fly, or really how to jerk around panicked and gracelessly when hoisted by very visible wires. Seeing the wires doesn’t bother me as much as everyone’s inability to fly without appearing to have constipation-induced seizures. Why are they so awkward? Did anyone teach them how to do the flying bits? Did they even have a chance to practice flying around before the live show? It doesn’t seem like it. They should have just done all CGI flying if it was going to be this bad.
In very little time at all, thanks to dear old Aunt Wendy’s breathlessness and fluttery eyes, we realize that this is actually a love story between Peter and Wendy, making J. M. Barrie’s tale perhaps the first lesbian fairy tale. But why does Peter, ostensibly a 25-year-old girl, need a 28-year-old girl to tuck her and her male followers in at night? It’s very creepy. But the story is quite progressive: Not only are Peter and Wendy lesbian lovers, but they are in an interspecies love triangle with a jealous ball of light. Wow. Much progress.
So the littlest boy, Michael, starts out as adorable before gradually getting more and more annoying. During the adorable phase, he grabs his teddy bear before flying off to Neverland. That is cute. What’s not cute is what would actually happen to the humans if they flew unprotected by spacesuits between freaking realms. Skin melting and stuff. That might be more entertaining though. This shit be dull. Peter/Allison Williams seems too embarrassed to fully commit to the role as lead lesbian lover. Gotta get over that before the second show.
Commercial break: Cool, a Wal-mart commercial with Melissa Joan Hart and I’m guessing her actual family of husband and three boy children who are playing with a toy fairy. It’s cute until the husband person says “I’m pretending it’s a helicopter.” That’s a cool message to send to all young boys, Wal-Mart, that to be male you can’t play with pretty colored toys or fairies unless you pretend it’s something MACHINE and MANLY. Cool. Outdated gender roles are the coolest. This is a good place to share one of my favorite infographics:
Back to the show: This narrator sounds like that English tart Lorraine Finster!!!
Once Peter, his new lover, and the boys get to Neverland – an impressively technicolored set – we get to meet our Captain Hook. No, not Christian Borle (Smee and Mr. Darling), who actually won a TONY for playing Captain Hook (at least a variation), but Christopher Walken, that singular adjuster of all rhythms of language that we thought were okay to accept as unchanging. Christopher Walken is on many drugs here but none of the ones that give energy, so that doesn’t bode well for the next too many hours.
Side note, when did Christian Borle DOUBLE his arm size?
Once Peter, his new lover, and the boys get to Neverland – an impressively technicolored set – we get to meet our Captain Hook. No, not Christian Borle (Smee and Mr. Darling), who actually won a TONY for playing Captain Hook (at least a variation), but Christopher Walken, that singular adjuster of all rhythms of language that we thought were okay to accept as unchanging. Christopher Walken is on many drugs here but none of the ones that give energy, so that doesn’t bode well for the next too many hours.
Side note, when did Christian Borle DOUBLE his arm size?
As we watch Christopher Walken stare at the cue cards next to the camera, we learn that pirates are these long-haired hot people who dance well. Why are people scared of pirates? They seem awesome. They probably have good tips for detangling hair after swimming in the ocean.
Although the story keeps telling us that we are supposed to be scared of Hook, a notorious pirate ship captain, it seems he’s really a Lower East Side drag queen with general malaise and a too-light shade of pancake makeup.
So distracted by Smee’s arms! I guess the camera does add 10 pounds, and it all goes to Christian Borle’s arms? Maybe he’s wearing fake arms?
The pirates’ carrying Hook on a sedan chair as his face betrays zero emotion is a metaphor for this show.
Christian Borle deserves a freaking Emmy for trying to breathe life into Walken. Seriously, he just blew into Walken’s arse. He literally tried to breathe life into him. He is not holding anything back. Gotta try everything.
Now we meet the Lost Boys. Given their costumes and homoerotic physicality, the Lost Boys are just Chilton drop-outs? Duke lacrosse players? Ah! Aside from giving us the progressive lesbian relationship, “Peter Pan” also tells important lessons about white male privilege. The whole Lost Boys aspect, it seems, is a precautionary tale about the current state of our society and its persistent, ignorant condoning of bad male behavior, continually excused as ‘just boys being boys’ or rewritten as a slam on irrelevant female behavior. These preppy prepschool boys in their striped rugby shirts and popped collars and colorful caps represent the Duke lacrosse players, the Steubenville football players, and all the other masses of men who are ‘lost’ because they don’t face necessary punishment and therefore never learn responsibility or proper ways to behave as respectable members of our society. So that’s what Peter Pan is about? Interesting. Is that why he’s played by a woman always? For feminism? Is that why they are singing this awful song about how Wendy will be their mother? “We have a mother at last we have a mother”, because their mothers are the only women they are able to recognize as deserving respect and the only ones who probably believe that they are decent at heart? I find the basic premise of rooting for the Lost Boys to defeat the Pirates as flawed. I want the pirates to win. These boys are trouble, if my hypothesis is correct. They will just inflict lots of pain and torture throughout their lives and get away with it. At least the pirates are honest about their intentions. Wow, Barrie was pretty prescient.
Moving on from sexism and misogyny to racism, within these enormous wedding bouquet trees, the Lost Boys are surrounded by the natives but they don’t know it. The natives (at least they are no longer calling them the Indians? I think?) literally have their feet on the Lost Boys’s asses but the Boys have no idea what’s going on. Is this a metaphor for American history, that the white Lost Boys can’t see the Indians right next to them? Or that they are blinded by their disregard of them?
Commercial break: F-ing A but “Into the Woods” looks AMAZING. I am so eager to see this movie instead of finish watching “Peter Pan” that I don’t think I can form full paragraphs for a while.
The Lost Boys KILL Wendy? What in the actual hell is this show? See, preppy prepschool white boys are TROUBLE TO WOMEN. And Tinkerbell is legit evil! Why is that ball of light not being extinguished? Why do people care if people don’t believe in her? She is EVIL.
Peter is actually singing about ‘Oh the pleasure she’ll bring to us’ about Wendy. This is so lesbians love story!
Omg MASS GROUP SHOWER SCENE this is vulgar. Why are all the Newsies in one small bathtub together? Do I have to rewatch Newsies to understand all the homoerotic subtext is that as well? Are all musicals this batshit? No.
“I Won’t Grow Up” really drives home my newly realized theory about this show being a scathing indictment of masculinity in modern society. These boys refuse to learn how to be better citizens! Refuse to mature and take responsibility! This show is deep. Neverland represents their mental state of everlasting “youth and joy and liberty”, their escape from being better members of actual society and living in a fantasy world of privilege and ignorance instead. Whoa.
Back to Peter and Wendy. They are going on a moonlight canoe ride on the lagoon. It’s pretty much the same setting as “Kiss The Girl” but without that amazing song. Or any song at all! Why can’t these two lovebirds have a beautiful duet on the water at this point? Nonetheless, this is pretty special. We don’t really get a lot of legit lesbian romance on television. There’s a lot of gay male relationships on TV, and thanks primarily to “How To Get Away With Murder” a lot of gay sex, but TV doesn’t give equal airtime to gay women. So this is nice.
Yet the story is making the common ignorant assumption that all women are jealous of each other over the menfolk or some shit like that. Why does every single female character need to be jealous of the others because they all love Peter? That look Wendy gave to Tiger Lily was a ‘bitch stay away’ if I ever saw one. And Even Older Aunt Wendy (who is ACTUALLY that English tart Lorraine Finster) lets her daughter run away with Peter? And they all wish that ALL the female descendants of Wendy will forever be taken away by Peter when they come of age? What is THAT creepy shit about! That’s a level of disgusting not even seen in Greek tragedies.
I’m focusing on the gay lovers and the Lost Boys’ metaphor because the rest of this is too dull to bother with. In the big climax sword fight between Hook and Pan, the pirates either fell asleep or sacrificed themselves to the sea witch to avoid having to watch any more. It was the slowest, most painfully uneventful sword fight OF ALL TIME. Who choreographed this? Kids do a better job playfighting with swords cut out of construction paper.
And as much as I love the Newsies, they are too old to be Lost Boys if the little Darling boys are meant to be their peers. They are actually old enough to be their fathers, and so the whole ‘Wendy be our mother!’ thing is just gross. That’s just gross.
I don’t have the energy to think any more about how dull this production was. I’m too disappointed in such a wasted opportunity. All I can say is thank god for Kelli O’Hara. And next year they better do “Hair”. Something worth watching.
