Dinner at the new fully vegan Alter Londonby Randi / August 11, 2021It’s Theatre Thursday! Today’s show is the Chichester Festival Theatre’s production of South Pacific, which we watched via livestream.
The current Chichester production of one of the best classic Golden Age musicals is overall enjoyable, thanks to its solid cast and, you know, the show itself being nearly foolproof. But there were a few ideas that didn’t pan out.
South Pacific is one of my all-time faves. A fave Rodgers & Hammerstein joint, a fave score, a fave Polynesian beach treat. I’ve see an exorbitant number of productions in my time, and it’s best done traditionally with the team fully invested in its potential for exuberance as well as emotional depth. People like to complain that it’s problematic because of its racist plot points. Guys, those plot points were meant to be racist. You know that right? Like Nellie and Cable fretting over being in love with people of color is supposed to show that they are racist. It’s not supposed to be, like, excused, not at all. That’s the point. The song “You’ve Got to be Carefully Taught” is not a lesson plan for parents — it is speaking with disdain about how racism is passed onto children. DISDAIN. NOT APPROVAL.
But modern productions like to make a few tweaks here and there to even the racial imbalance — and apart from the above thoughts, I won’t argue that the representation of Polynesian people isn’t stereotypical and thin (and entirely encompassed by really one character, Bloody Mary). Here, I think they were trying to address the imbalance by framing the show with Liat. At the start, I got worried because they cut the gorgeous overture. Instead, Liat did a little dance to the “Younger than Springtime” instrumentals. I like the idea of trying to give Liat more to do, to show how the troops’ presence affected her maybe, but this didn’t do that. Liat is the quintessential empty character, sadly, and having her dance a little bit more doesn’t solve that, and it doesn’t start a show very well.
The first real song in the show is my favorite (everything’s my favorite! smiling’s my favorite!), when Nellie Forbush sings “Cockeyed Optimist”. Nellie here is Gina Beck, who I have LOVED in past West End performances. She’s so talented. She’s also supes pregs, which was funny to see in our beloved Ensign, and so she shares the role with another actress. Gina is wonderful, but she is overdoing the Arkansas accent. It’s distracting. The director should have realized that it’s better to focus on the character and the whole singing well thing instead of overdoing a southern accent. Unfortunately, that persisted throughout the show (along with unflattering wigs), and instead of reveling every time Nellie opens her mouth, which I usually do, I just kind of cringed at the overexaggerated accent and how awful it made the songs sound. And I have a Mare of Easttown accent! I know from horrible accents!
Luckily, Julian Ovenden’s French accent is not as bad, and his…omg I’m drawing a blank…Rene Charle? Paolo Szot??? EMILE DE BECQUE JESUS FORKING CHRIST WHAT’S WRONG WITH MY BRAIN…anyway, his Emile is wonderful. For Luther Billis, I feel like that’s one of those roles like Ogie in Waitress where no matter what, it’s gonna be great. I liked Keir Charles’s performance, although he was rougher around the edges and little cruder than my boy Danny Burstein’s more ‘aw shucks’ version, which I find winning. Rob Houchen’s Lootellen Cable was fine; he always sings well, but he was a little stiff, especially in the beginning. I was like ‘hey that guy who is the bad Terminator in Terminator 2 just came out.’ But the only person I felt was kind of miscast was Bloody Mary, a shame because when done well she can be incredibly heartbreaking, taking all the claims of superficial writing and destroying them to become the most affecting part of the show. I think the problem was, Joanna Ampil, super talented though she is, is just too young for the part. Bloodies Mary I’ve seen have always been older than the seabees, but Joanna is like, relatively young and attractive so the seabees’ attention wasn’t believable as joking around verging on mockery. It was more like, yeah she’s your age, why wouldn’t she be the girl you love? Just kind of off. Also, in my opinion, the drama works best when parts like “Happy Talk” turn out to be devastating in contradiction of its lyrics. Here, it was a little too slow and dark but without showing the desperation underneath.
But maybe I’m just mad because this production didn’t use “My Girl Back Home” (the original didn’t either, but it was reinstated in prods of the last few decades), which always makes me giddy. In this song, Nellie and Cable talk about the homes and the loves they left behind in America, Nellie in Little Rock, and Cable in muhfuking PHILADELPHIA. He even repeatedly sings Ardmore, PA!!! I mean I never even care that he can’t decide whether he’s from Princeton or Philly or Ardmore but a bitch don’t care!
With Nellie’s accent keeping me from fully melting into the love story, I was able to look at it with a more discerning eye. It is HELLA forked up that Emile has two kids, but doesn’t give a shit about them. When Nellie momentarily forsakes him, Cable and the officers are like, well shit Emile, now that you have nothing to live for you should go with Cable on this super dangerous mission. Nothing to live for because his girlfriend is mad at him??? HE HAS TWO F-ING KIDS! Seriously so insane. What a weird show that I love with my whole being.
I admit that I could easily be overly harsh on every little aspect of every production of this show, because I was spoiled for life by the 2008 Broadway revival. (It was so perfect, 104% perfect, that it could in itself be what heaven is.) (Also, not to belabor the point, but Kelli O’Hara is literally FROM Oklahoma (same as ARK) and her southern accent was barely noticeable.) But overall, this one was a fun time, as it’s hard to tarnish this classic.
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Present Laughter at the Old Vic: Old Timey Fun, for the Most Part
It’s Theatre Thursday! Today’s show is Present Laughter at the Old Vic, playing until August 10.
Noel Coward is such a goofball, am I right?! In one of his classic plays, Present Laughter, he basically goes autobiographical and has a jolly old time caricaturing his own outsized persona. Representing Coward is the lead character Garry Essendine, a famous actor who has several romantic exploits and several exaggerated breakdowns over the course of the few days we see. More than anything, Present Laughter is a vehicle for a star to have the time of his life as Garry. Recently, Kevin Kline won a Tony for his portrayal, because he was probably perfect as always. The draw of this current Old Vic production is Andrew Scott, hot off his stint as the hot priest on the universally acclaimed Fleabag. The show is worth seeing for his fantastic performance, but the changes to the source material are less than ideal.
While the show starts out strong, with an impeccable, uproariously funny first act, it quickly turns maddening, as all farce and farce-adjacent work tends to do. Andrew’s Garry wakes the show by trying to usher out a flaky one-night-stand named Daphne Stillington (a very funny Kitty Archer; they could have swapped the real and character names for perhaps an improvement) amid the judgmental eyes of his household staff (all three the steady highlights of the show). With this material, Andrew gets to play so much, it’s amazing. He shines so bright, so pitch perfect and hilarious in this first act that it’s almost distasteful. He looks to be having the time of his life, relishing some of Coward’s funniest lines and his ability to turn the regular ones into the funniest lines.
But then, it starts farcing all over the place and it took all my might to not shout at everyone to just communicate better. Okay so in this 1940s play, they were obsessed with marital affairs to get their minds off war. Garry is dealing with an issue in his close-knit ‘family’ of people who work for him: his secretary Monica, his ex-wife Liz who is still pretty much his wife, his manager Morris, his producer Henry. Henry is married to Joanna, who is rumored to be having an affair with Morris. Monica has a serious conversation with Garry about finding out whether this is true about Morris and Joanna, and instead of Garry trying to put a stop to this lest it destroy their little family, Garry goes and shtupps Joanna himself. Bad call Gar! As people find out, things get SHOUTY, like MAN ALIVE SHOUTY, and Garry gets apoplectic a lot, like a LOT a lot, and Morris is like BUT I LOVE JOANNA, and Henry is like BUT SHE’S MY WIFE (and John Mulaney is like THAT’S MY WIFE) and Daphne for some reason comes back to audition for a theatre school?, and Liz is like I’m fine and calm because monayyyyy, and for some reason Garry’s staff KEEPS LETTING some random stranger INTO HIS HOUSE who is very clearly going to murder everyone in the sequel (Luke Thallon was so funny as Roland but OMG) and everyone’s like WHEEEE THIS IS CRAZY and I’m like MY BLOOD PRESSURE.
But in this production, because, I’m guessing, people realized that the whole idea of three rich men fighting over a married woman like she’s property is…kinda gross, they took a note from the recent success of the Company revival and had some fun with gender switches! In theory, I love this idea, because it would have been too outdated and frustrating to watch Joanna get treated simultaneously like a piece of meat and an uncontrollable hoo-er. So, in theory, they made the right call making Joanna now ‘Joe’, a man, married to the producer ‘Helen’, a woman. This change does several things. First, it makes literally everyone in the cast bisexual, which, okay fine, I’ll go along with that (“it’s 2018! More people should be bi! It’s like, get over yourselves!”). But it throws off the dynamic like hella hard, because the casting is not done well. There’s no way the couplings in the show would happen and I just couldn’t buy it. But most of all, worst of all, the actor playing Joe is miscast. Whereas Joanna is a flighty and glamorous young woman who seduces all these men but like is fun, Joe is a too-serious, gloomy, severe mufucka who brings the action to a screeching halt. It makes no sense that Garry would say anything to him when he comes a’knocking other than like “gtfo my house you’re in the wrong show, this is a fun one not an Italian murder mystery where you’re clearly the butler and you clearly did it.” With the wrong actor playing Joe, you’re just like, why.
The changes continue in the same direction the quality of play goes in after that first act. Most of all, I was disappointed in the ending. Through all of Garry’s breakdowns, all his mid-life crises and all his issues he’s clearly dealing with, it’s clear most of all he wants someone to love the real him and cure his loneliness. (Oh another burning question I had several times: why doesn’t this famous actor have a bodyguard or someone who actually sleeps at his house to prevent 100 of the annoying things that happen.) It’s obvious throughout the play that his ex-wife Liz is still this person, and at the end they reconcile. In this version, after Liz announces that she’s coming back to him, and you expect Garry to be like YES PLEASE THANK GOD I NEED YOU, he literally is silent, and walks over to the window while he has a drink, and I truly thought he was going to jump out the window. It was a weird vibe and did not work for me, and definitely not as an ending. It made the original ending of Pippin look like a Mamma Mia!-style dance party.
Regardless, it’s still overall a fun time, and it’s worth seeing Andrew shine in a role that seems tailor-made for him.
INFORMATION
Get ready for big bunches of small purple fruit as said by an Australian because I have me some gripes. First of all, yes the Old Vic is still under hella construction, which you can’t hold against them. But I am so over theatres not giving paper tickets at will call and telling you to just use your phone, and it was an especially bad move here: Given all the construction, the staff have to check your tickets frequently because to get to the temporary toilet area or the bar you have to leave the building entirely (toilets are outside only on one side! Don’t sit upstairs you’ll never get there!). But hi, hello, this is the theatre, where people should be TURNING THEIR PHONES OFF! Everyone stop with the e-tickets please and thank you. Any decent people have shut their phones off.
Secondly, speaking of phones, London theatres in general need to forking quit it with those little white NO PHONES signs that two ushers in dark corners of the theatre hold up like any forking person in the audience notices them. Make a GOTTAM preshow announcement that everyone must shut their phones off and not use them during the show like a GROWN ASS ADULT.
Third, there was a super frustrating technical problem that I’m not even sure the stage managers or lighting people realized: During most of the show, an amber light was reflected out of the mirror by Garry’s bar table, and it was blinding us from looking at the stage. INFURIATING. That’s the kind of technical thing you’d think would have been caught and handled by now. It was the worst in the 20-minute scene right before the interval and for most of Act II (so, just Act I was fine (maybe that’s why it was my favorite, because I was able to watch it without corneal damage)).
Lastly (lol am I ever done), I am sick and tired of plays trying to establish characterization with smoking. Literally, I am sick and tired from it, because it gives me breathing issues. If you can’t establish something without having an actor harm their own health with cigarettes, then you aren’t doing a good job.
Oh I thought of another: I am tired of the Old Vic’s boring af programmes and show art. For the love of god add an image. I’m not going to pay $5 for block letters and weird color schemes.
STAGE DOOR
This is the saddest part for me to recount, because I love(d) Andrew Scott. Who doesn’t adore the Hot Priest? I was excited to see that the stage door (wisely) had a barricade up and a security guard at the ready, telling everyone to line up in single file and that you could either get an autograph from OR a photo with Andrew. So with things progressing like that, with a security guard already taking care of business, with maybe 80 people already lined up?? all of that suggests that Andrew was coming out. Now, I’m the first person to state that actors have no obligation to come to the stage door (hell, they have no business doing it; why on earth would anyone want to greet a crazy mob) and that they should absolutely not face any scrutiny for not doing it. BUT, that’s a different situation from lining up your crowd in single file, making sure they know all your rules, &c…and then making them wait a frankly offensive amount of time. I’d be saying absolutely nothing except ‘good on you’ if he had decided not to stage door. But to make sure his crowd was organized to his requirements and then just not come out for hours is plain rude, showing zero respect for anyone’s time. That security and staff waiting outside (but hidden from our view after a while so they didn’t have to answer any questions) didn’t relay any message was bullshit. We left after about 50 minutes of waiting, but I was told on the socials that Andrew came out at about 11:40 – an hour after we left. That sucks. Just don’t come out if you don’t want to! But to make people wait and wait and not say anything is a weird kind of torture, and it sucks.
“Shakespeare in Love” on the West End: It’s A Mystery Why It’s Not A Musical But It’s Still Worth Seeing
I never thought I would miss or even appreciate Gwyneth Paltrow. Sure, she was never hocking $200 white t-shirts and fair-trade moccasin shavings in her movies, but her Gooping activity has infiltrated most people’s memories of her acting history. Her film career is clouded with the smoke emanating from her custom glass gilded barbecue for macrobiotic mushrooms and meat from animals she petted with Mario Batali. But she was a pretty good actress, remember? And her Viola de Lesseps in “Shakespeare in Love” was fantastic, Oscar-worthy and Oscar-winning stuff.
So why did I all of a sudden recall Gwynnie’s ‘90s-era acting ability with such fondness? It’s kind of mean, but it’s because I just saw the new play version of “Shakespeare in Love” on the West End. It’s a lovely, fun show that you’ll enjoy, especially if you liked the movie. But if, like me, you loved the movie, so much so that you confront the 90% of the populace that still likes to argue that it shouldn’t have won Best Picture over “Saving Private Ryan”, then you will also, like me, find various quibbles with this show’s lack of editing, its pushing of easy physical laughs, and…the crazy voice of its Viola. (I mean, you don’t have to have even seen the movie to agree with the latter.)
Now listen. The actress playing Viola, Lucy Briggs-Owen, is wonderful. Especially in the second act, she absolutely won me over and made me cry and stuff. But I still just cannot get over her voice. She has the raspy, gravelly voice of a 2-packs a day night-shift trucker who counts Marge Simpson and Harvey Fierstein as close relatives. During Act 1, I was wide-eyed with disbelief that a character whose entire purpose rests on the gloriousness of her speaking voice was cast so surprisingly. It’s actually hilarious. The story will hook you nonetheless, as the producers perhaps try to prove that one’s voice doesn’t matter as long as you are beautiful, or something? I doubt that was their aim.
Anyway, yes, so the story is indeed centered on Viola’s voice, or what she does with it: act. She is a noble lady promised to marry a truly awful man named Wessex, but she just wants to be an actor, especially in Shakespeare’s plays, because she has an enormous literary crush on him and yearns for her life to be filled with poetry, as all young girls do. Fortunately for her, she’s actually a superb actor. Viola calls up all her courage and auditions for a new play disguised as a man, meeting the bard himself during her ‘amazing’ audition. This is when I started to roll my eyes a little. At this point, Will Shakespeare is super down in the dumps, dirty-haired, shirt-unbuttoned, totally out of sorts and depressed that he’ll never be able to find a star for his new play “Romeo and Ethel the Pirate’s Daughter”. We see awful no good actor after awful no good actor butcher auditions as Will sinks deeper. But then Viola, disguised as Thomas Kent, enters and begins her monologue from “Two Gentlemen of Verona”, and it’s supposed to rouse Will from the darkness, give him hope in his play, and make him fall in a sort of awe-inspired love. But…but…but…her voice! I didn’t believe that the anti-smoking ad that Viola seemed to make out of “What light be light if Sylvia be not seen” would have changed Will’s life so. Well, but it did, so I’ll stop mocking the poor girl’s voice. Don’t get me wrong, she’s a fantastic actress; I just didn’t get her for this part where the purity and beauty of the voice is so important! The best is in the famous canoe scene, when Will is describing to ‘Thomas’ his feelings for Viola, and she’s like “tell me about her beauty; what’s her hair like?” and Will’s like “long and blonde so nice” and Viola’s like “and her lips” and Will’s like “erma, such lips” and then Viola’s like “and her voice?” and I cackled.
Anywayyyyy, so Will’s like erma p. gerd, I found my Romeo, and at about the same time, he sees the undisguised Viola at a ball he crashed, and is like, erma p., I found my muse and my love because I loves me some long blonde hair and influenza-ridden smoker voice. I’m sorry now I’m done. So Will Shakespeare, this beyond brilliant best playwright of all time, OF ALL TIME, doesn’t realize that they’re the same person even though all his plays feature gender-bending disguises. I guess all those plot-twists come after this point in time, inspired by Viola. Cute.
Oh besides the voice, the craziest change from the movie is how stupid Will seems before he meets Viola/Thomas. The play starts with him trying to write Sonnet #18, “Shall I Compare Thee To A Summer’s Day”, with the whole company watching. It’s kind of funny, how he can’t finish the first line, but then it gets tiresome when we hear the sonnet for the 9th time in one act. Also, Christopher Marlowe helps him write it, or really writes most of it for him. He also gives Will most of the groundwork for the main conflict of “Romeo & Juliet”, plus the name Juliet. In the play, it’s completely different from the not-so-good-natured playwright rivalry of the movie. Instead, the play shows them as pretty much BFFs, with Marlowe being the brains of the operation and Will being brilliant only when inspired by love. Marlowe’s death is that much sadder, and I loved their boyish friendship. But I didn’t like how the entire first act made Will sort of a buffoon. It is very easy and effective to show writer’s block as the movie did – somewhat subtly and realistically. It doesn’t need to be over the top. Who doesn’t know what writer’s block is! It’s unnecessary to show writer’s block by having the writer seem stupid. Now that’s just offensive to all writers. I did, however, really like the actor playing Marlowe, and I am glad they made the part so much bigger and meatier for the play for his sake, so let’s call it a draw.
The rest of Shakespeare’s acting troupe included a mustachioed yet winning pirate with long greasy hair playing the Ben Affleck role, a young pretty-faced boy who plays the girl parts while he can, and a tailor given the prologue whose stutter we’re supposed to laugh at?? In the film, the stutterer was someone you rooted for and cheered with when he conquered it with performing. But in the show, it felt more like the stutter was on display for the audience to ridicule. Not a good change. Please, if you see this or any other show ever, you’re probably a douche if you laugh at disability on display.
Queen Elizabeth, the role Judi Dench won an Oscar for despite only having like 4 lines and being onscreen for a shorter time than it takes me to tie my shoes, is played more humorous than regal here, which is somewhat off-putting. I don’t know Lizzie the I like I know Lizzie the II, but I’m pretty sure neither of them would be humorous in front of the general public. In front of family and friends, sure, but not in front of poor people. This Queen was written, directed, and acted just a little too familiarly. I want my queens bitchy, stern, and formal, thanks.
My favorite minor character I didn’t even realize was my favorite until the program verified it afterwards. Paul Chahidi, who was the glorious maid in Twelfth Night on Broadway last season (with Mark Rylance, originally at the Globe), played the Geoffrey Rush producer part of Henslowe. Paul Chahidi is superb and I want to see him as the humorous sidekick in pretty much every single play, even those without humorous sidekicks. Rush gave the movie its major memorable line, as he said at various points, to explain how things sort of work themselves out, “It’s a mystery!” and it was adorable, and we liked it, and we loved it. Chahidi’s Henslowe says it once early on and I smiled…but then in Act Two, he started saying it more and more. In the final 20 minutes, I think he said it 4 times. That is too many. That’s the writer’s fault, not Chahidi’s (Paul’s likeability is what saves us from groaning) but that’s something that should have been caught. That overuse and the 9 times we have to listen to Sonnet #18 should have been addressed by editors.
Regardless of these quibbles, the play is overall enjoyable and should make you laugh and cry and laugh and cry some more if you are not a robot. They really should have taken the opportunity to make this a musical and try to elevate it above and beyond the movie, rather than aiming to equal it, but I’ll leave that development to future artists. The story is strong enough without music, I guess. Will and Viola fall in love, Will is totally inspired and writes the genius “Romeo & Juliet” (it’s genius, even if you’re still sick of it from middle school), and Viola has to follow the queen’s and her father’s orders and marry Wessex. This oh this was also much worse than the movie. Wessex is a total shit in both, just a horrible awful man, but at least in the movie he looked like Colin Firth so you didn’t feel toooo badly for Viola. Here he’s just a normal so it’s real sad. Also, her father (whom I don’t think we see in the movie) is an even worse shit. So at least she gets away from him. The maid, the best part of the movie because it’s Imelda Stanton, is just okay here. She kind of milks her “It is a new day!” line to get laughs from the audience when really it should only be the set-up for Viola’s “It is a new world” reply, which is instead tossed aside.
Tom Bateman as Will works unbelievably hard, so hard that the sweat literally pours off of him throughout the show. His hair was soaking wet the entire time, even at stage door. I was like, “I don’t know how you are going to do a second show tonight” and he said “I don’t know either!” which is funny and self-deprecating but then he lit a cigarette and I was like, oh so you want to struggle to keep up, I get it.
So, anyway, no matter how you felt about the movie, this show is worth seeing. It’s not perfect, and like 99% of shows (/movies/television/books/anything), I wish I was able to edit it before it was considered set and finished, but alas, it has a few flaws. Luckily, these flaws won’t keep you from enjoying the show, and at least in the case of Viola’s uncharacteristically husky voice, some of them will help you enjoy it more. Okay now I’m done making fun.
Anyway, yes, so the story is indeed centered on Viola’s voice, or what she does with it: act. She is a noble lady promised to marry a truly awful man named Wessex, but she just wants to be an actor, especially in Shakespeare’s plays, because she has an enormous literary crush on him and yearns for her life to be filled with poetry, as all young girls do. Fortunately for her, she’s actually a superb actor. Viola calls up all her courage and auditions for a new play disguised as a man, meeting the bard himself during her ‘amazing’ audition. This is when I started to roll my eyes a little. At this point, Will Shakespeare is super down in the dumps, dirty-haired, shirt-unbuttoned, totally out of sorts and depressed that he’ll never be able to find a star for his new play “Romeo and Ethel the Pirate’s Daughter”. We see awful no good actor after awful no good actor butcher auditions as Will sinks deeper. But then Viola, disguised as Thomas Kent, enters and begins her monologue from “Two Gentlemen of Verona”, and it’s supposed to rouse Will from the darkness, give him hope in his play, and make him fall in a sort of awe-inspired love. But…but…but…her voice! I didn’t believe that the anti-smoking ad that Viola seemed to make out of “What light be light if Sylvia be not seen” would have changed Will’s life so. Well, but it did, so I’ll stop mocking the poor girl’s voice. Don’t get me wrong, she’s a fantastic actress; I just didn’t get her for this part where the purity and beauty of the voice is so important! The best is in the famous canoe scene, when Will is describing to ‘Thomas’ his feelings for Viola, and she’s like “tell me about her beauty; what’s her hair like?” and Will’s like “long and blonde so nice” and Viola’s like “and her lips” and Will’s like “erma, such lips” and then Viola’s like “and her voice?” and I cackled.
Anywayyyyy, so Will’s like erma p. gerd, I found my Romeo, and at about the same time, he sees the undisguised Viola at a ball he crashed, and is like, erma p., I found my muse and my love because I loves me some long blonde hair and influenza-ridden smoker voice. I’m sorry now I’m done. So Will Shakespeare, this beyond brilliant best playwright of all time, OF ALL TIME, doesn’t realize that they’re the same person even though all his plays feature gender-bending disguises. I guess all those plot-twists come after this point in time, inspired by Viola. Cute.
Oh besides the voice, the craziest change from the movie is how stupid Will seems before he meets Viola/Thomas. The play starts with him trying to write Sonnet #18, “Shall I Compare Thee To A Summer’s Day”, with the whole company watching. It’s kind of funny, how he can’t finish the first line, but then it gets tiresome when we hear the sonnet for the 9th time in one act. Also, Christopher Marlowe helps him write it, or really writes most of it for him. He also gives Will most of the groundwork for the main conflict of “Romeo & Juliet”, plus the name Juliet. In the play, it’s completely different from the not-so-good-natured playwright rivalry of the movie. Instead, the play shows them as pretty much BFFs, with Marlowe being the brains of the operation and Will being brilliant only when inspired by love. Marlowe’s death is that much sadder, and I loved their boyish friendship. But I didn’t like how the entire first act made Will sort of a buffoon. It is very easy and effective to show writer’s block as the movie did – somewhat subtly and realistically. It doesn’t need to be over the top. Who doesn’t know what writer’s block is! It’s unnecessary to show writer’s block by having the writer seem stupid. Now that’s just offensive to all writers. I did, however, really like the actor playing Marlowe, and I am glad they made the part so much bigger and meatier for the play for his sake, so let’s call it a draw.
The rest of Shakespeare’s acting troupe included a mustachioed yet winning pirate with long greasy hair playing the Ben Affleck role, a young pretty-faced boy who plays the girl parts while he can, and a tailor given the prologue whose stutter we’re supposed to laugh at?? In the film, the stutterer was someone you rooted for and cheered with when he conquered it with performing. But in the show, it felt more like the stutter was on display for the audience to ridicule. Not a good change. Please, if you see this or any other show ever, you’re probably a douche if you laugh at disability on display.
Queen Elizabeth, the role Judi Dench won an Oscar for despite only having like 4 lines and being onscreen for a shorter time than it takes me to tie my shoes, is played more humorous than regal here, which is somewhat off-putting. I don’t know Lizzie the I like I know Lizzie the II, but I’m pretty sure neither of them would be humorous in front of the general public. In front of family and friends, sure, but not in front of poor people. This Queen was written, directed, and acted just a little too familiarly. I want my queens bitchy, stern, and formal, thanks.
My favorite minor character I didn’t even realize was my favorite until the program verified it afterwards. Paul Chahidi, who was the glorious maid in Twelfth Night on Broadway last season (with Mark Rylance, originally at the Globe), played the Geoffrey Rush producer part of Henslowe. Paul Chahidi is superb and I want to see him as the humorous sidekick in pretty much every single play, even those without humorous sidekicks. Rush gave the movie its major memorable line, as he said at various points, to explain how things sort of work themselves out, “It’s a mystery!” and it was adorable, and we liked it, and we loved it. Chahidi’s Henslowe says it once early on and I smiled…but then in Act Two, he started saying it more and more. In the final 20 minutes, I think he said it 4 times. That is too many. That’s the writer’s fault, not Chahidi’s (Paul’s likeability is what saves us from groaning) but that’s something that should have been caught. That overuse and the 9 times we have to listen to Sonnet #18 should have been addressed by editors.
Regardless of these quibbles, the play is overall enjoyable and should make you laugh and cry and laugh and cry some more if you are not a robot. They really should have taken the opportunity to make this a musical and try to elevate it above and beyond the movie, rather than aiming to equal it, but I’ll leave that development to future artists. The story is strong enough without music, I guess. Will and Viola fall in love, Will is totally inspired and writes the genius “Romeo & Juliet” (it’s genius, even if you’re still sick of it from middle school), and Viola has to follow the queen’s and her father’s orders and marry Wessex. This oh this was also much worse than the movie. Wessex is a total shit in both, just a horrible awful man, but at least in the movie he looked like Colin Firth so you didn’t feel toooo badly for Viola. Here he’s just a normal so it’s real sad. Also, her father (whom I don’t think we see in the movie) is an even worse shit. So at least she gets away from him. The maid, the best part of the movie because it’s Imelda Stanton, is just okay here. She kind of milks her “It is a new day!” line to get laughs from the audience when really it should only be the set-up for Viola’s “It is a new world” reply, which is instead tossed aside.
Tom Bateman as Will works unbelievably hard, so hard that the sweat literally pours off of him throughout the show. His hair was soaking wet the entire time, even at stage door. I was like, “I don’t know how you are going to do a second show tonight” and he said “I don’t know either!” which is funny and self-deprecating but then he lit a cigarette and I was like, oh so you want to struggle to keep up, I get it.
So, anyway, no matter how you felt about the movie, this show is worth seeing. It’s not perfect, and like 99% of shows (/movies/television/books/anything), I wish I was able to edit it before it was considered set and finished, but alas, it has a few flaws. Luckily, these flaws won’t keep you from enjoying the show, and at least in the case of Viola’s uncharacteristically husky voice, some of them will help you enjoy it more. Okay now I’m done making fun.
