Ratatouille the Ratatoosical, the Rata tat tat TikTok Musical We Need Ratatataby Randi / January 7, 2021It’s Theatre Thursday! Last weekend, King’s Cross Theatre’s 2016 production of the musical Lazarus was streamed online by Dice FM. It initially played off-Broadway in 2015, at the New York Theatre Workshop.
First things first: This was directed by Ivo van Hove. When the “Directed by…Ivo van Hove” appeared in the opening credits (livestream theatre gets opening credits!!), husbo and I simultaneously groaned ‘Iv-ughhhhhhhhh.’ We’re gonna get some live images projected onto a movie screen in this bitch! The Ivo special! No but seriously, I’ve been very open about my distaste for Ivo van Pony’s one trick and general misogynist lens through which he directs, but maybe since he was new-ish in 2015 it didn’t seem as tired. Also, out of all the shows where he showed off his filmophilia, this one made the most sense.
I obviously mean ‘made the most sense’ as in ‘for him to use his video screen schtick’, not that the actual show itself made any goddamn sense. Lazarus is for sure up there on my Top 10 List of Theatre Where WHAT THE FUCK??? IS?? HAPPENING??? But unlike so many that seemed to be confusing and weird just for the sake of being confusing and weird, Lazarus’s ambiguity wasn’t offensive to my existence. With Bowie’s music and the effective, stark staging, the vague plots and the unhinged sense of what’s real and what’s imagined all worked well together, a rare treat for a show that had us saying literally every two minutes “no but seriously what the fuck???”
Inspired by the 1963 novel The Man Who Fell to Earth by Walter Tevis, Lazarus the musical continues that story of an alien who became trapped on Earth and is desperate to get back to his planet! So sad!! (Yes, Bowie starred in the 1976 movie adaptation of the book, hence his connection to the material so it’s not as random as it seems that he made this musical.) Filled with classic Bowie songs plus more he wrote specifically for this musical, Lazarus uses that mystical aspect of Bowie’s music to heighten the otherworldly tale.
Playing the sad, now alcoholic, alien named Newton who has lost so much in addition to his homeland, Michael C. Hall continues to impress in his musical endeavors. Newton, all set with money and alcohol, stays put in his apartment, doing nothing but drinking (and speaking in a strange, unidentifiable accent (which I guess makes sense because alien)), even though it’s not quarantine for him. All he wants is to numb his pain and somehow return home. He gets a lift of hope from the trapped fairy spirit of a teenage girl, played by Sophia Anne Caruso of Beetlejuice fame, who promises him that she will help free him from his earthly shackles.
The story blends reality and imagination constantly, and it’s never clear which characters are really seeing something happen, whether/how they all could be, or whether they’re all in Newton’s head. The appearance of the serial killer Valentine, played by Michael Esper, is a real mindfork, because you’re like a) is he actually killing real people and do all the characters SEE THIS and this is awful I wasn’t prepared for a scary movie and b) can Michael C. Hall ONLY do serial killer projects??? Likewise, I find it hilarious that Michael Esper literally only does musicals with scores by rock stars (I’ve seen him in The Last Ship (Sting), American Idiot (Green Day), and now this (David Bowie)).
Esper’s Valentine is so extraordinarily creepy that I had nightmares after. Luckily, the scariness was a little lessened by all the vagueness of what was happening. I loved this one scene where he stabbed Newton’s friend and then Newton’s assistant Elly was holding the body even though she wasn’t there, right, and Newton was hugging him all bloody? And then like a dozen random actors came across doing the tango and laying on the floor and crawling around? Don’t think about it too hard too too hard.
The entire Elly plot is a total mindfork. Played by Amy Lennox, Elly starts to take on the persona of Newton’s former love, whose loss has crushed him, and he is not cool with it. Elly becomes beholden to Valentine somehow, it’s quite sad and awful but you’re like hey you had the courage to dye your hair blue, can’t you find the strength to GTFO? I would have loved to see Cristin Milioti in the NYC version, although seeing her be so underused, as Elly ultimately was, would probably make me even sadder.
At this point, I am obligated to point out that husbo gasped and said to himself “Ohh, Michael C. Hall isn’t who I thought…” Turns out he was thinking Anthony Michael Hall. Yes, I CRIED laughing.
So there’s a lot of weird stuff going on, but the music and the performances make it magical. Bowie’s songs sound just as great sung by musical theatre actors. My standout moment was when Caruso belts out “Life on Mars” in the clearest tone imaginable. I missed out on Beetlejuice last year so I never have actually heard her sing. Fork there is a reason she became a star at 14. Her voice is so strong and clean and bright (you look happy to meeeet meee). LOVES IT.
So Caruso’s spooky little girl and Newton try a lot of weird shit to get him back to his planet, like drawing a rocket on the floor and also, like, him stabbing her?? IT’S A WEIRD SHOW. Does he get home, or does he die? Or is it the same thing? Dark. It said it was suitable for ages 11 and up but honestly it was barely okay for 30. It is MURDEROUS. Seriously Michael C. Hall can only do projects that have lots of stabbing and lots of blood. Even Hedwig has lots of blood, albeit sung about only. (Yes I saw him in Hedwig and he was FANTASTIC.)
But aside from the blood and the nightmares and the fact that no, I can’t really describe what was going on without just repeating “it was weird as hell”, Lazarus was some g-d remarkable piece of theatre, thanks to Bowie’s music and I’m sure his involvement in the NYC production (he died shortly into that run). He wrote some FORKING GREAT SONGS, you know that? And this is not a jukebox musical. I haven’t worked out my full argument for why not. Maybe because the story isn’t using the songs to put forth some contrived plot but instead, the genius and glory of the music is on display, and any story happening is like our collective effort to try to make sense of how magical it is. And we can’t, so that’s why it’s WEIRD AS HELL.
Related Posts
The End of “How I Met Your Mother”, or How To Make A Loyal Fan Angry: F That Noise
I am ANGRY and I’m not going to be able to sleep tonight! So instead I am going to discuss the cause of my ANGER with you and I hope that you agree or better yet have ways to help me get rid of this ANGER so I can get some rest. BUT OH MYLANTA WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TONIGHT?? The great-for-so-many-years-but-weak-for-a-few-there television show of our generation, “How I Met Your Mother”, ended its 9-year-run tonight. It could have gone the “Friends” route and bestowed lovely happy endings unto our beloved characters at the expense of laughter, but instead it presented horrible, awful, anger-inducing endings at the expense of laughter. F that noise.
Freal this is me. Breathing…breathle–Heaving breath…heaving breaths…
For 9 years, this show convinced us that Ted and “Aunt Robin” were not supposed to be together. For 9 years, we eagerly and anxiously awaited the introduction of Ted’s true love, the Mother, hoping that she would be everything we, and Ted, hoped for. (She was.) For 9 years, we knew that this Mother was the real deal, Ted’s soulmate, serving as a counterpoint to Robin, who proved time and again that she was only right as Ted’s friend, nothing more. For about 5 years, we were made to love and ‘ship Barney and Robin, and we did, because they were awesome together, with their overhead high-fives and nerves of steel. But in one shittastic literally mind-blowing (as in my mind is exploding, literally) hour, the entire foundation of the show collapsed and we were left with a finale that seemed like it matched the pilot episode yet no other episode in the series. Like everything was a waste. I am ANGRY. Ted and Robin are not supposed to be together.
As a small note, I did appreciate that the entire show was Ted telling his kids about their deceased mother. It definitely makes more sense as a framing device, even though it’s unbearably sad. But it should have ended like that, as a lovely and touching tribute to the love of Ted’s life. It shouldn’t have been an excuse for him to move on to Robin ‘finally’. It cheapens the relationship with the Mother. Not that we saw ANY of that.
As a small note, I did appreciate that the entire show was Ted telling his kids about their deceased mother. It definitely makes more sense as a framing device, even though it’s unbearably sad. But it should have ended like that, as a lovely and touching tribute to the love of Ted’s life. It shouldn’t have been an excuse for him to move on to Robin ‘finally’. It cheapens the relationship with the Mother. Not that we saw ANY of that.
Things I liked:
- Lily, unable to handle a goodbye hug, asking Ted for an E.T. goodbye (Ted’s finger meeping to Lily’s forehead), and saying “Thanks that helped; it was creepy and I don’t want to see you for a while.” Like she was reading our thoughts for 90% of the series. But it was cute.
- Mother/Tracy: “When I get married I want to kind of fit in my dress…[hint hint].” Lily: “What’s going on?” Barney: “She’s getting a boob job!!!”
- Playing “Murder Train” at Robots v. Wrestlers!! Amazing; hurrah for some continuity that isn’t about that damned French horn.
- Ted: “I’ve got a castle guy!” Barney: “I’ve got like three castle guys.”
- Cristin Milioti was so winning, it’s such a shame they didn’t use her more. But her few scenes over the past few months, and tonight, have been the best.
Things that made me go hmm:
- Lily’s 2017-2018 bangs.
- The Mother’s crappy wedding dress. If they had the money for a French castle wedding complete with stallions and a hot-air balloon, they could have afforded a dress in a quality material. It’s impossible to use a half-loop stitching on low-viscosity rayon. It would snag the fabric.
- Dumb: Barney and Ted’s high-five to echo throughout eternity. Waste of a few precious minutes. Not that time was well spent tonight.
- Marshall: “Hey you kids, do you have any idea what happened in this very bar?…All kinds of stuff.” What a great set-up of a line that ended with a disappointing fizzle, like a balloon deflating. Should have and could have been amazing and moving, if Marshall just said something simple but not dumb, like, “…Everything.”
Things that are making me a red-faced merkit:
- Everything felt slow. The old lady at Farhampton station got more screen time, and lines, than Robin and the Mother combined. Sure sure. Good decision.
- Robin alone in the empty apartment should have been a tearjerker (a la the “Friends” finale) but it wasn’t. What a shame. Though Lily’s little face sobbing in that scene was very sad. But Lily’s little face is the best.
- Barney has a love child. I’m glad he gets to have the child he always wanted, but the baby mama doesn’t matter? We don’t meet her? he has no relationship with her? What.
- Robin and Barney getting divorced. What in the EVERLASTING TUCK. We waited years, and then had to put up with this entire season taking place over their wedding weekend, only to have their marriage last five minutes. Epic fail.
- The Mother actually died. Like I said, I appreciate this twist as a really sensible framing reveal that makes the show as a whole a whole lot more meaningful. Doesn’t mean I like it.
- Ted going after Robin. Sure guys, realize 1000-times over that you aren’t right for each other…for FIRST marriages! Wait till your wife dies/you get divorced and THEN you can be each other’s secondsees! Ok! WHAT A FABULOUS ENDING.
The series should have ended when Ted and Tracy were talking under the yellow umbrella at Farhampton station. That would have been lovely. It would have almost made up for the Barney and Robin shitstorm. This show of course was about the 5 best friends, but it was also supposed to be about how Ted met the kids’ Mother, not about how he outlasted her so he could then guiltlessly go after Robin in middle age. When I watch my beloved reruns of this often wonderful show, I’m going to rewrite this ending.
‘Onegin’ at the Bolshoi Ballet: So Amazing I Want to be a Ballerina Just For This
It’s Theatre Thursday! Today we are talking about the best ballet ever, ‘Onegin’ at the Bolshoi. We’re back in Russia all over this website!
With all the theatre I see, I don’t have much time for ballets. I see them every once in a while but usually I’m like “this would be so much better if you were singing toooooo!” That’s why ‘An American in Paris’ is so good. And usually the plots are so alarmingly sexist that I just roll my eyes the entire time so as not to actually scream. I saw ‘Giselle’ last year the English National Opera. Do you know what that’s about? A peasant girl dies of a broken heart because her lover is a cheatin fool and then her ghost joins a ghost troop of all virgin girls who died before they were married and they dance/kill men who go through their forest. It’s forked up. Luckily, ‘Onegin’ is not actively offensive; in fact, it’s a pretty good tale of a woman actually standing up for herself, sort of, as much as you can expect in old-timey stories. More importantly, it’s the most gorgeous dancing I’ve ever seen in my life, and I’m including the ending of ‘Center Stage’ can you believe it? even the part where the camera pans down and then when it goes back up Jody is all of a sudden in a red leotard and she pushes everyone away and Jamiroquai goes ‘DANCE!’ and it’s the best. I was naively a little upset that the Bolshoi Ballet in Moscow wasn’t playing something I was more familiar with while we were there, but I can’t imagine ‘Swan Lake’ or ‘The Nutcracker’ (now I’m out of ballets I know) being nearly as spectacular as ‘Onegin’ was. And since this week on the travel blog we are back in Russia, it’s time to talk about this Bolshoi production.
Written by Alexander Pushkin, the beloved Russian poet, the novel ‘Eugene Onegin’ inspired Tchaikovsky to write an opera about it. (I never read ‘Eugene Onegin…and I’m not sure I ever read any Pushkin actually. Sacre bleu! I mean blin!) Tchi tchi put some dance scenes in his opera, and he hired a choreographer named John Cranko to choreograph them. Cranko, cursed with an unhappy name but blessed with immense talent, crankily thought “this story merits its own ballet, not just secondary dancing in an opera! We’re gonna make a whole ballet bout this feller!” His stories are so inspirational! Everyone loves Pushkin, from all the statue makers all over Russia (so many!) to all these artists whose greatest works were inspired by his words. Fun fact, Pushkin is a classic, beloved Russian author as well as a cute nickname for a baby. Little Pushkin with that punim!
So John Cranko (no relation to Broadway director John Rando like of course not but their names speak to me in the same way now (maybe because if you change their last name o’s to e sounds they both become me)) created his magnificent ballet in 1965 for the Stuttgart Ballet. It was performed there in Germany and in London but not at the Bolshoi until like just a few years ago! What you fools been doing besides choosing presidents! Fortunately, they added it to their repertoire in time for my visit, and I got to see the Bolshoi ballet company perform something other than their speed-assisted craziness in ‘Bye Bye Birdie’. They are spectacular. I don’t know why Sergei wanted to leave Russia to dance in San Francisco with Galena when they both could have joined the Bolshoi. I guess for freedom. (by the way I am still talking about ‘Center Stage’, BME.)
‘Onegin’ tells…shows…dances? basically the same story as the novel, at least the main part. It tells the tale of a girl named Tatiana and this asshat of a man named Eugene Onegin, who does not have the right to be such a confident jerk especially to women when he is named Eugene. It opens with Tatiana and her sister Olga dance-playing and dance-sewing in the garden with their mother, talking girly, and then they decide to play a much-loved Russian game where girls look in a mirror to see fatalistic/magical glimpses of their future loves. They do this in ‘War & Peace’ too (or at least the version I know much more thoroughly, the musical ‘Natasha, Pierre, & the Great Comet of 1812’, when Sonya tells us “Early Sunday morning, Natasha and I lit a candle, looked in the mirror [‘meer’]” and then Natasha happily comments “I see my face!” because she is an IDIOT and Sonya rolls her eyes musically and explains to her stupid cousin “they say you can see your future in the long row of candles stretching back and back and back into the depths of the mirror [‘meer’]. In the dim confused last square, you’ll see a coffin or a man. Everyone sees a man.”). Ok so I know I didn’t really need to quote ‘Comet’ yet again but admit that that helps you understand what Tatiana and Olga were doing, right? I can go on if you want me to!
So Olga’s fiancé Lensky arrives (query why they were looking in the mirror for mystical peeks at future husbos if she already was engaged), an amiable, most happy fellow who seems decent. P.s., the ballerina playing Olga was maybe 11 years old, and Tatiana maybe 14, tops. I’m not sure whether to go with the headline ‘ballet stunts your growth like gymnastics and these were indeed adults’ or ‘Russians kidnap children and force-train them into incredible dancers, can we be mad or no.’ Anyway Lensky brought a friend: the dark, brooding, could-play-Heathcliff-if-he-wasn’t-such-a-good-dancer Eugene Onegin, who is dressed all in black because he’s so dark and brooding and the only thing he can do with his face besides look handsome is scoff. So the dancer playing Onegin looked just like Eric Bana from my mezzanine seat and I hundo p would have sworn it was him save for the dancing ability. Onegin looks around at the lovely little family’s love little garden and lovely little girls and he scoffs, he scoffs this way, he scoffs that way, he scoffs hither and thither. But little Tatiana thinks he’s the keenest because she never saw a city boy before, maybe, and thinks dressing in all black is a sign of sophistication. Or whatever. That night, she dance-writes a love letter to him.
This opening scene in the garden, plus the love letter writing that night, composed Act I. It was about 40 minutes long…and then we got a 25 minute intermission! 25 minutes! I could have peed 3 times.
Act II was only 30 minutes! Man alive I didn’t even have to pee after. While short, it packs a punch. It’s Tatiana’s birthday party, and Onegin comes, but he’s such a dink that he is rude to everyone and rolls his eyes the whole time at how simple these folk are and how unsophisticated and boring. Also, he is bothered by the fact that this sweet little girl wrote him a love letter. What a dink. So he goes up to Tatiana, the birthday girl, holds her letter out, and rips it up in front of her! I KNOW! He’s the worst! But he’s not done – to add some excitement to his inexplicable boredom (they’re at a fancy party with ballerinas!), he decides to provoke his friend Lensky by flirting with Olga, his fiancée. Olga is just a little 11-year-old ballerina so she dances with him just because she likes dancing and doesn’t think anything of it other than it would be fun and maybe funny. But Lensky is pisssssed, and he challenges Eugene to a duel. And Eugene Onegin becomes a murderer! He kills his friend Lensky! Why are men!
After that we had another 25 minute intermission. These intermissions were almost longer than the actual show! This show is perfect for those with short attention spans and/or quick bladders.
In Act III, (another half hour one), time has passed and now a grown-up Tatiana has married a prince. She a princess! They are throwing a ball at the palace, and Onegin is in attendance. He is enamored with this beautiful princess and realizes oh hot damn it’s that country girl I humiliated! He goes up to her and is like ‘hey it’s me Eugene!’ and he writes a love letter to her now. My how the tables have turned on this jackwagon. She asks not to see him but he comes to her room in the palace that night anyway because of course he doesn’t listen to other people’s desires, and he pleads his love for her and they do the most INCREDIBLE flying dancing I’ve ever seen. It’s sexual and violent and they dance out their feelings to the extreme and you never want it to end. Tatiana tries to resist him but he is so powerful and dark and brooding and you’re like Tatiana no resist resist! And just when you think she might give in she stops dancing and just POINTS OUT THE DOOR without looking at him and it’s amaaaaaaaaazing. It’s the best moment of any ballet, when this woman decides she is now strong enough to stand up for herself. I loved that it was also the first ballet I’ve seen where a woman fights her desires and does something right INSTEAD OF DYING. Seriously why does every ballet kill the young girl? Obviously sad men wrote all the stories. But not this one! No young girls died in this! Sure a nice young man did and that was sad but men should stop letting their anger get the best of them and stop starting duels! Haven’t they listened to Terry Crews?
Anyway, it was the most phenomenal ballet with the most beautiful performances from the principals: Vladislav Lantratov as Onegin, Olga Smirnova as Tatiana, Anastacia Vinokur as Olga, and Ivan Alexeev as Lensky. At least I think these are their names; the programme is in Cyrillic. If you go to Moscow, you need to see something at the Bolshoi. So spectacular. And if this ballet is performed somewhere closer to you, you should see it since the girl doesn’t die! What a treat!
INFORMATION
To buy tickets, we had to sign up to the Bolshoi website. OMG I just looked and Onegin is on tonight!!! Ahhhh! Go! You can’t go! Anyway they send email confirmation which you need to bring to the box office, except the box office is very poorly signed and staffed so be ready for that. Kind of frustrating.
Just in case you thought maybe bad audiences only existed in the west (I don’t know why you would think that? people suck everywhere), the audience here was talking THE ENTIRE TIME. I got an usher at one point because this box near us was full of jerks who were talking at regular volume. I just cannot handle how bad audience behavior has become. Please don’t talk at the theatre (movie theatres count too) and please for the love of god put your phones away.
The bathrooms were the nicest in the entire country. The end.
So John Cranko (no relation to Broadway director John Rando like of course not but their names speak to me in the same way now (maybe because if you change their last name o’s to e sounds they both become me)) created his magnificent ballet in 1965 for the Stuttgart Ballet. It was performed there in Germany and in London but not at the Bolshoi until like just a few years ago! What you fools been doing besides choosing presidents! Fortunately, they added it to their repertoire in time for my visit, and I got to see the Bolshoi ballet company perform something other than their speed-assisted craziness in ‘Bye Bye Birdie’. They are spectacular. I don’t know why Sergei wanted to leave Russia to dance in San Francisco with Galena when they both could have joined the Bolshoi. I guess for freedom. (by the way I am still talking about ‘Center Stage’, BME.)
‘Onegin’ tells…shows…dances? basically the same story as the novel, at least the main part. It tells the tale of a girl named Tatiana and this asshat of a man named Eugene Onegin, who does not have the right to be such a confident jerk especially to women when he is named Eugene. It opens with Tatiana and her sister Olga dance-playing and dance-sewing in the garden with their mother, talking girly, and then they decide to play a much-loved Russian game where girls look in a mirror to see fatalistic/magical glimpses of their future loves. They do this in ‘War & Peace’ too (or at least the version I know much more thoroughly, the musical ‘Natasha, Pierre, & the Great Comet of 1812’, when Sonya tells us “Early Sunday morning, Natasha and I lit a candle, looked in the mirror [‘meer’]” and then Natasha happily comments “I see my face!” because she is an IDIOT and Sonya rolls her eyes musically and explains to her stupid cousin “they say you can see your future in the long row of candles stretching back and back and back into the depths of the mirror [‘meer’]. In the dim confused last square, you’ll see a coffin or a man. Everyone sees a man.”). Ok so I know I didn’t really need to quote ‘Comet’ yet again but admit that that helps you understand what Tatiana and Olga were doing, right? I can go on if you want me to!
So Olga’s fiancé Lensky arrives (query why they were looking in the mirror for mystical peeks at future husbos if she already was engaged), an amiable, most happy fellow who seems decent. P.s., the ballerina playing Olga was maybe 11 years old, and Tatiana maybe 14, tops. I’m not sure whether to go with the headline ‘ballet stunts your growth like gymnastics and these were indeed adults’ or ‘Russians kidnap children and force-train them into incredible dancers, can we be mad or no.’ Anyway Lensky brought a friend: the dark, brooding, could-play-Heathcliff-if-he-wasn’t-such-a-good-dancer Eugene Onegin, who is dressed all in black because he’s so dark and brooding and the only thing he can do with his face besides look handsome is scoff. So the dancer playing Onegin looked just like Eric Bana from my mezzanine seat and I hundo p would have sworn it was him save for the dancing ability. Onegin looks around at the lovely little family’s love little garden and lovely little girls and he scoffs, he scoffs this way, he scoffs that way, he scoffs hither and thither. But little Tatiana thinks he’s the keenest because she never saw a city boy before, maybe, and thinks dressing in all black is a sign of sophistication. Or whatever. That night, she dance-writes a love letter to him.
This opening scene in the garden, plus the love letter writing that night, composed Act I. It was about 40 minutes long…and then we got a 25 minute intermission! 25 minutes! I could have peed 3 times.
Act II was only 30 minutes! Man alive I didn’t even have to pee after. While short, it packs a punch. It’s Tatiana’s birthday party, and Onegin comes, but he’s such a dink that he is rude to everyone and rolls his eyes the whole time at how simple these folk are and how unsophisticated and boring. Also, he is bothered by the fact that this sweet little girl wrote him a love letter. What a dink. So he goes up to Tatiana, the birthday girl, holds her letter out, and rips it up in front of her! I KNOW! He’s the worst! But he’s not done – to add some excitement to his inexplicable boredom (they’re at a fancy party with ballerinas!), he decides to provoke his friend Lensky by flirting with Olga, his fiancée. Olga is just a little 11-year-old ballerina so she dances with him just because she likes dancing and doesn’t think anything of it other than it would be fun and maybe funny. But Lensky is pisssssed, and he challenges Eugene to a duel. And Eugene Onegin becomes a murderer! He kills his friend Lensky! Why are men!
After that we had another 25 minute intermission. These intermissions were almost longer than the actual show! This show is perfect for those with short attention spans and/or quick bladders.
In Act III, (another half hour one), time has passed and now a grown-up Tatiana has married a prince. She a princess! They are throwing a ball at the palace, and Onegin is in attendance. He is enamored with this beautiful princess and realizes oh hot damn it’s that country girl I humiliated! He goes up to her and is like ‘hey it’s me Eugene!’ and he writes a love letter to her now. My how the tables have turned on this jackwagon. She asks not to see him but he comes to her room in the palace that night anyway because of course he doesn’t listen to other people’s desires, and he pleads his love for her and they do the most INCREDIBLE flying dancing I’ve ever seen. It’s sexual and violent and they dance out their feelings to the extreme and you never want it to end. Tatiana tries to resist him but he is so powerful and dark and brooding and you’re like Tatiana no resist resist! And just when you think she might give in she stops dancing and just POINTS OUT THE DOOR without looking at him and it’s amaaaaaaaaazing. It’s the best moment of any ballet, when this woman decides she is now strong enough to stand up for herself. I loved that it was also the first ballet I’ve seen where a woman fights her desires and does something right INSTEAD OF DYING. Seriously why does every ballet kill the young girl? Obviously sad men wrote all the stories. But not this one! No young girls died in this! Sure a nice young man did and that was sad but men should stop letting their anger get the best of them and stop starting duels! Haven’t they listened to Terry Crews?
Anyway, it was the most phenomenal ballet with the most beautiful performances from the principals: Vladislav Lantratov as Onegin, Olga Smirnova as Tatiana, Anastacia Vinokur as Olga, and Ivan Alexeev as Lensky. At least I think these are their names; the programme is in Cyrillic. If you go to Moscow, you need to see something at the Bolshoi. So spectacular. And if this ballet is performed somewhere closer to you, you should see it since the girl doesn’t die! What a treat!
INFORMATION
To buy tickets, we had to sign up to the Bolshoi website. OMG I just looked and Onegin is on tonight!!! Ahhhh! Go! You can’t go! Anyway they send email confirmation which you need to bring to the box office, except the box office is very poorly signed and staffed so be ready for that. Kind of frustrating.
Just in case you thought maybe bad audiences only existed in the west (I don’t know why you would think that? people suck everywhere), the audience here was talking THE ENTIRE TIME. I got an usher at one point because this box near us was full of jerks who were talking at regular volume. I just cannot handle how bad audience behavior has become. Please don’t talk at the theatre (movie theatres count too) and please for the love of god put your phones away.
The bathrooms were the nicest in the entire country. The end.
