Ratatouille the Ratatoosical, the Rata tat tat TikTok Musical We Need Ratatataby Randi / January 7, 2021It’s Theatre Thursday! Last weekend, King’s Cross Theatre’s 2016 production of the musical Lazarus was streamed online by Dice FM. It initially played off-Broadway in 2015, at the New York Theatre Workshop.
First things first: This was directed by Ivo van Hove. When the “Directed by…Ivo van Hove” appeared in the opening credits (livestream theatre gets opening credits!!), husbo and I simultaneously groaned ‘Iv-ughhhhhhhhh.’ We’re gonna get some live images projected onto a movie screen in this bitch! The Ivo special! No but seriously, I’ve been very open about my distaste for Ivo van Pony’s one trick and general misogynist lens through which he directs, but maybe since he was new-ish in 2015 it didn’t seem as tired. Also, out of all the shows where he showed off his filmophilia, this one made the most sense.
I obviously mean ‘made the most sense’ as in ‘for him to use his video screen schtick’, not that the actual show itself made any goddamn sense. Lazarus is for sure up there on my Top 10 List of Theatre Where WHAT THE FUCK??? IS?? HAPPENING??? But unlike so many that seemed to be confusing and weird just for the sake of being confusing and weird, Lazarus’s ambiguity wasn’t offensive to my existence. With Bowie’s music and the effective, stark staging, the vague plots and the unhinged sense of what’s real and what’s imagined all worked well together, a rare treat for a show that had us saying literally every two minutes “no but seriously what the fuck???”
Inspired by the 1963 novel The Man Who Fell to Earth by Walter Tevis, Lazarus the musical continues that story of an alien who became trapped on Earth and is desperate to get back to his planet! So sad!! (Yes, Bowie starred in the 1976 movie adaptation of the book, hence his connection to the material so it’s not as random as it seems that he made this musical.) Filled with classic Bowie songs plus more he wrote specifically for this musical, Lazarus uses that mystical aspect of Bowie’s music to heighten the otherworldly tale.
Playing the sad, now alcoholic, alien named Newton who has lost so much in addition to his homeland, Michael C. Hall continues to impress in his musical endeavors. Newton, all set with money and alcohol, stays put in his apartment, doing nothing but drinking (and speaking in a strange, unidentifiable accent (which I guess makes sense because alien)), even though it’s not quarantine for him. All he wants is to numb his pain and somehow return home. He gets a lift of hope from the trapped fairy spirit of a teenage girl, played by Sophia Anne Caruso of Beetlejuice fame, who promises him that she will help free him from his earthly shackles.
The story blends reality and imagination constantly, and it’s never clear which characters are really seeing something happen, whether/how they all could be, or whether they’re all in Newton’s head. The appearance of the serial killer Valentine, played by Michael Esper, is a real mindfork, because you’re like a) is he actually killing real people and do all the characters SEE THIS and this is awful I wasn’t prepared for a scary movie and b) can Michael C. Hall ONLY do serial killer projects??? Likewise, I find it hilarious that Michael Esper literally only does musicals with scores by rock stars (I’ve seen him in The Last Ship (Sting), American Idiot (Green Day), and now this (David Bowie)).
Esper’s Valentine is so extraordinarily creepy that I had nightmares after. Luckily, the scariness was a little lessened by all the vagueness of what was happening. I loved this one scene where he stabbed Newton’s friend and then Newton’s assistant Elly was holding the body even though she wasn’t there, right, and Newton was hugging him all bloody? And then like a dozen random actors came across doing the tango and laying on the floor and crawling around? Don’t think about it too hard too too hard.
The entire Elly plot is a total mindfork. Played by Amy Lennox, Elly starts to take on the persona of Newton’s former love, whose loss has crushed him, and he is not cool with it. Elly becomes beholden to Valentine somehow, it’s quite sad and awful but you’re like hey you had the courage to dye your hair blue, can’t you find the strength to GTFO? I would have loved to see Cristin Milioti in the NYC version, although seeing her be so underused, as Elly ultimately was, would probably make me even sadder.
At this point, I am obligated to point out that husbo gasped and said to himself “Ohh, Michael C. Hall isn’t who I thought…” Turns out he was thinking Anthony Michael Hall. Yes, I CRIED laughing.
So there’s a lot of weird stuff going on, but the music and the performances make it magical. Bowie’s songs sound just as great sung by musical theatre actors. My standout moment was when Caruso belts out “Life on Mars” in the clearest tone imaginable. I missed out on Beetlejuice last year so I never have actually heard her sing. Fork there is a reason she became a star at 14. Her voice is so strong and clean and bright (you look happy to meeeet meee). LOVES IT.
So Caruso’s spooky little girl and Newton try a lot of weird shit to get him back to his planet, like drawing a rocket on the floor and also, like, him stabbing her?? IT’S A WEIRD SHOW. Does he get home, or does he die? Or is it the same thing? Dark. It said it was suitable for ages 11 and up but honestly it was barely okay for 30. It is MURDEROUS. Seriously Michael C. Hall can only do projects that have lots of stabbing and lots of blood. Even Hedwig has lots of blood, albeit sung about only. (Yes I saw him in Hedwig and he was FANTASTIC.)
But aside from the blood and the nightmares and the fact that no, I can’t really describe what was going on without just repeating “it was weird as hell”, Lazarus was some g-d remarkable piece of theatre, thanks to Bowie’s music and I’m sure his involvement in the NYC production (he died shortly into that run). He wrote some FORKING GREAT SONGS, you know that? And this is not a jukebox musical. I haven’t worked out my full argument for why not. Maybe because the story isn’t using the songs to put forth some contrived plot but instead, the genius and glory of the music is on display, and any story happening is like our collective effort to try to make sense of how magical it is. And we can’t, so that’s why it’s WEIRD AS HELL.
Related Posts
Anyone Can Whistle at the Southwark: A Star Turn, A Weird Show
Today’s show is Anyone Can Whistle, at the Southwark Playhouse in London until May 7, so hurry (or not)
It’s not often you get to see a new-to-you Sondheim show when you’re a Sondheim devotee! Or ever! But indeed the Southwark’s production of his insane musical Anyone Can Whistle, with book by noted goofball and apparent magic mushroom-lover Arthur Laurents (I’M JOKING) (am I), is my first full production of his lesser-known show. Sure I knew the score, especially those bangers “There Won’t Be Trumpets” (thanks to Mandy Patinkin) and “Everybody Says Don’t” (thanks to Sutton Foster). How could I have ever guessed that the fairly decent-to-great songs compose a show that would have us going ‘what’ ‘why’ ‘what’ ‘wait but why’ every few minutes?
Anyone Can Whistle tells the tale of a corrupt mayor (excuse me, ‘mayoress’) and her lackeys who need to get money into their very poor town, in which the only operating business of any sort seems to be the mental institution ridiculously named The Cookie Jar, with all patients (inmates) called cookies. (Is Paula’s nickname for Rebecca on “Crazy Ex-Girlfriend” Rachel Bloom’s little nod to Sondheim? I say yes.) They…they decide to pump a rock full of water? and have it be a miracle when much needed water comes shooting out of a rock. Pilgrims mfing FLOCK to see the magical water miracle. They’re all like (Lewis Black voice) ‘we gotta SEE the big fucking thing!’ Money pours in as the mayoral team sells tickets to see this water rock. I’m not saying I wouldn’t pay money to see a nice water feature but that’s just me I’m weird. As a town-saving gimmick, this shit’s A LONG SHOT. INTO THIS STORY SO FAR! KEEP UP THE NONSENSE IN A FUN WAY.
The nurse at the Cookie Jar (imagine going to nursing or medical school and being a professional healthcare worker and having to tell people your facility is called The Cookie Jar), Nurse Apple, wants to bring all her cookies to the miracle, either to prove it’s fake or just in case it’s legitimate, it’s unclear. This is where things started to get dicey and not in a ‘oh we’re all having fun!’ way. Apple’s only characterization from the book is that she’s skeptical and straight-laced, and I needed more/any further character development from the actress to make her make sense. She says she wants a hero to deliver the town from corruption, to save her cookies? And so she disguises herself as a French miracle inspector. It makes no sense if all we get is that this nurse is a no-fun-having idealist whose big idea is to dress like a French prostitute who just woke up to try to shut the miracle down. Could’ve done that in oodles of other ways that weren’t so nothing, Arthur. GETTING LESS INTO THIS STORY.
Meanwhile, a man named Hapgood shows up and the town is like ‘oh are you the new doctor for The Cookie Jar’ and he’s like OKAY SURE! and no one asks Dr Timothee Chalamet for like ID or anything, so immediately a thinking person would guess that he’s def NOT the doctor but he’s charismatic like a bright bone-free human version of the inflatable things outside car dealerships, and they tell him ‘okay you’re in charge of figuring out who’s crazy and who isn’t, just like, go through the town and tell us who gets locked up in the jar.’ NOT THE BEST SYSTEM. Then he and the disguised Nurse Apple meet and immeds try to seduce each other for very unclear reasons. From here, the last 10-15 mins of Act I (and then all their scenes in II) become tedious because it’s hard to know how to be onboard with whatever’s happening, because what is happening? Are they actually into each other? Did they have any clue who the other was? Why is she dressed like this? Is the abrupt change from the silly French joke song (which did have some funny lines) to the heartfelt title song supposed to be sincere?? How are we supposed to make that jump? It doesn’t have a payoff. And though they are both clearly talented actors, I felt they were both unforch miscast, at least when taken together. We need their chemistry to build support for the weak story, but they have no chemistry, so much so that it’s like a negative amount and made it hard to accept love at first sight (if that’s what we were supposed to take from it?). Like in a college play my best friend’s now-husband and I were voted Third Most Awkward Couple in the show but if this couple were in it we would have gotten Fourth, or even like Tenth because that’s how many places they would claim with their abundance of no-chemistry.
From here it gets confusing about what’s happening and honestly the wikipedia plot summary doesn’t seem to match what I saw, so maybe they updated things but it wasn’t clear. The miracle gets shown to be a fraud, yada yada yada, Hapgood is revealed to be a new cookie/patient, yada yada yada, Apple and Hapgood decide to be together. OFFICIALLY NOT A FAN OF THIS STORY.
So yeah it’s weird af and not in a fun ‘let’s ride this crazy train all the way to Kansas’ way, since the lack of strong character development made it hard to jump on board since you’re like ‘but where is the train, does this train know it’s a train’. But this production is entirely worth seeing for one reason: Alex Young as Mayor(ess) Cara Hoover Hooper. Even in her first performance with a sprained ankle and on crutches, she has the audience eating out of her hand, especially me, this supes old lady in the front row who was LIVING for her, and the young man in the front row who became one of the main characters. She has the comic timing and fully inhabited presence of an actor that understands the character she’s playing, which is rare. Every utterance and glance is hysterical and entertaining. I was giggling like a cookie at everything she did. She’s giving a masterclass in using the audience, too; everything she did with/to the aforementioned man was genius-level improv (even though drinking from his glass gave me the covid shivers, but no one cares about that anymore!). And while I think those two main characters were miscast, they and the rest of the cast overall were game and energetic.
MASK COUNT: 7
SOUTHWARK PLAYHOUSE PIZZA STATUS: STILL GREAT
The Tony Awards are Sunday! Here’s What Should Happen
It’s the mooost wonderful tiiiime of the year! It’s Tony season! Well I guess it’s been Tony season; now it’s TONY WEEKEND! How pumped are you? How are you talking about anything else? The big Federer-Nadal match is over, no one is seeing Dark Phoenix, and the world is still going to shit so there is nothing more to do but sit back, relax, and let the joy of Tony Weekend wash all over you.
Until Monday morning, when we piss and moan about all the injustice of amazing performers losing arbitrary awards to equally amazing performers and all of them getting to do the best job on the planet, so unfair.
So what will I be pissing and moaning about in particular on Monday morning? A lot of things! Mainly, that here in the UK I can’t watch it live, but also that a few of my favorite performances probably won’t be rewarded; that Scott Rudin will add to his vast collection of trophies even though he’s a big dumb bully; and that Tony voters should have to see all the nominees in order to be Tony voters (you have one job; if you don’t want it, give it to me plz).
If Tony knows what’s good for her (yes, Tony is a girl!), she’ll do her level best to keep a few of those predicted complaints from happening, but most importantly she’ll put on one hell of a show and, with James Corden’s help, demonstrate to the Emmys, the Grammys, and the Oscars most years how to do awards shows right. Mostly, as long as Tony Toni Tone sticks to the whole underworld theme of the best shows this season (Hadestown is obvs about Hades and the underworld, and The Ferryman title refers to Hades’s ferryman Charon who rows the newly dead souls across the river Styx and into the underworld. POSS CROSSOVER EVENT?), things will be good.
I’ve already rambled on about the nominations and who should have been nominated (so read that post first if you haven’t already), so this one will be purely about the actual nominees.
Let’s start with the most important, since we all know these posts tend to go on and some of you never make it to the end. Yeah I see you! We’ll do all 3 big musical categories, the biggie plus score and book. Hadestown, as I’ve been saying since last year, is the best musical by far. It’s the only solidly great one, too, but even if it had great competition I can’t see anything surpassing it in terms of quality, uniqueness, and emotional depth. Most of its magic comes from Anais Mitchell’s incredible score, like nothing we’ve heard before, especially not on Broadway, which should absolutely win as well. A lot of voters want to award the good-hearted social message of The Prom for Best Musical, and while I understand that, there should be zero doubt about voting for Hadestown for Best Score.
And although it seems the vast majority of people still don’t understand what a book of a musical is, Mitchell’s flawless structure and creative twist on classic myths to tell this old-but-new kind of story should win Best Book as well. Tootsie will, because it has the most jokes, and that’s what people usually think of in terms of book: the script and how enjoyable it is. But it also has to do with the overall story and its structure and how it is told, and Hades tops the charts for all of that. Still, as long as Hadestown wins Best Musical and Score, all will be right.
While the current, feel-good-about-being-a-good-person musical The Prom is the closest competition, everyone absolute adores Ain’t Too Proud, which I can see being the real surprise, if such a surprise as Hadestown not winning Best Musical were to happen, but that would be some real bullshirt (it losing, not ATP winning). Oh and Beetlejuice isn’t winning shit; someone tell Warner Bros. they need a new head of their theatrical division (*cough* me *cough*).
Seriously watch this and tell me I’m wrong about this music. (And about the actors who should win.)
For those of us still salty over Chavkin’s loss for Great Comet, it’s not so much a wish that she wins now to make up for that as it is a wish that her directorial genius is finally rewarded for something equally astonishing. But the race is on between her and Daniel Fish, whose Oklahoma! is a complete and relevant reimagining of the dusty classic. But that one is divisive among all crowds, Tony voters included, and since it is going to win Best Revival of a Musical (a sure thing over the ya-basic Kiss Me, Kate), perhaps they will deem Fish’s (feeshees) work recognized enough with that. I hope so because I’d be front row center with a giant foam finger that says ‘CHAVKIN’ if I could.
Now that I’ve seen Gary, I have…still not seen all of them. But I can’t imagine anything taking this from the once-in-a-decade, sweeping, epic masterpiece The Ferryman. And nothing should. The Ferryman proves that it’s not about how long shows are (3+ hours); it’s about what you do with that time. I’ve seen other shows longer than 3 hours that barely accomplished anything and some 80-minute ones that were perfect. But this one, hoo boy, it told a full-blooded epic family and historical drama in one night and it was like reading a phenomenal book, so ingenious and well done.
This is Stephanie J. Block’s for shooo but I haven’t seen The Cher Show because the one weekend I had a free theatre slot, she was on vacation and I am not seeing that show without her. Anyway, I’m sure she’s amazing and I love her and all. It’s hard for me not to root for my queen (Kelli) but she is miscast in Kate. I’m personally still gutted by Eva’s performance (I told you I’d be raving about Hadestown this entire post/for my life, didn’t I? if I didn’t well I just did guys). But it’s the promenaders who pose the only real threat to SJB. Well one of them, Beth Leavel, who is also beloved in the community and has put in her time and is also giving a great performance. She is probably the #2 vote getter but if you ain’t first yer last, and SJB is first this season.
While I love all of the men on this list, this has to go to my OG (that stands for Original Greg), Santino. I guess it’s all down to whether he wants it or not, because we all know he could win one if he wanted to. (That’s a Crazy Ex-Girlfriend reference, for those of you still not living your best life.) Granted I am not seeing big ole Toots for two more weeks (don’t you DARE go on vacation OG) but it’s the kind of big, showy, entire-production-carrying role that does not leave its cross-dressing star empty-handed, especially when he does the impossible and stops audiences from comparing him to Dustin Hoffman. (The TBD star of the new Mrs. Doubtfire musical can only pray for the same result.) While all the nominees are such great ones, it seems Brooks Ashmanskas not only has the best name but also poses the biggest threat of an upset here, as the most likely win for The Prom (and, in my view, backpay for Martin Short’s 2006 Broadway variety show, still one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen). Although a huge part of me wants Lin-Manuel Miranda to one day be the presenter that awards Derrick Baskin his Tony, just so Derrick can reprise his greatest line of all time: “Well, well, well. If it isn’t Lin-Man-well, well, well”, this is almost surely Santino’s and it’s honestly the least Broadway could do for his returning to the Great White Way and thus incurring the wrath of Rachel Bloom.
What a terrible category for voters! All of these performances are truly deserving and would win in other years. Both Paddy and Bryan won Oliviers for these same roles, but Bryan will prevail here. He already won the best award of the year, the Drama League Distinguished Performance that goes to just one actor, across roles of all size and gender and musicality (as in, whether it has it or not) (I’m trying to say that plays and musicals are combined). It would be a shock if he doesn’t win this, but not like so sad because he is swimming in awards and we all like socialism now, right?
Six incredible actresses to choose from (and yet no Glenda Jackson, so weird right?) seems like a hard task but this is the biggest slam dunk of the night, the one with the most consensus – it’s Elaine May’s. She plays someone with Alzheimer’s which seems like this decade’s version of Ricky Gervais’s hundo p secret to winning an Oscar (doing a Holocaust movie), and so given that Ricky is the latest out-of-touch white man to be CANCELLED, it seems totes approps that that should change to this, especially given that May’s performance is what some Tony voters said (anonymously) was the best performance of any sort they’d literally ever seen.
This one is the one I am going to be most dismayed by, except not even ‘dismayed’ just like ‘oh that’s not who I would have voted for but still great, still great’ so…so that’s nothing, right. It’s neck and neck between Amber Gray and Ali Stroker, the two it should be neck and neck between. So they are both totally deserving but my vote would be for Amber because I am obbbbsesssssed with her Persephone and not just because my first acting gig was playing Persephone’s best friend who sees her get abducted by Hades (my big line: “Come ON, Persephone! We’ll never get to the beach if you stop to look at every flower!” and then Hades comes up from underground and snatches her away and I’m like “but the beach!” I was 8 years old I think.) So like Persephone is a part of me, you know??? And Amber is doing something so original (as she always does) and turning Persephone after many years of this nonsense into a quirky, sort of pissed off yet beloved queen and straight KILLIN it (as she always does) and her performance is so forking touching so I just really want her to win and also she is pumping during intermission every night because she has an infant and that is BALLER. But Ali is amazing and I’m so happy there is a place for her forever on Broadway now so like whatever they’re all great just everyone be happy and have fun I guess. I am going to the beach next week so that’s p cool.
THIS is the category that makes me happiest to not be a Tony voter this year, honestly, because I CANNOT choose between Andre and Patrick. It’s between the two Hadestown men, for sure, which scares me because a) they’re both so phenomental (that was a typo originally but I’m going to keep it because it is mental how phenomenal they are so yeah) and b) I’m nervous that the votes will cancel each other out and open the way for one of the others, which like fine they are all great and wonderful but it has to be Patrick or Andre. I think Andre gets it by the skin of his sweet potatoes, which sounds like a phrase that means something but I’m just remembering how at stage door he was eating sweet potatoes and we talked about healthy food and how important it is for him to nourish his body properly so it keeps functioning at peak human like it is in the show. Anyway, I love him and he’s my best good friend.
For the other categories: For featured actress in a play, Celia Keenan-Bolger is finally going to win the Tony everyone thought she was going to win for The Glass Menagerie, which is great because she is just the best. For featured actor, I’m rooting for Robin de Jesus because 1) he’s cool enough to make his twitter handle ‘Robin the Jesus’ which I laugh about at least once a week, and 2) I just love him and he’s SO good and should be in more stuff.
As for the show, I’m sure James Corden will do a nice job and do some big musical opener that lets him live all our dreams while he comes very close to tears and it will be big-hearted and joyous but not as shockingly impressive as NPH’s opening “Bigger” was because nothing could ever top that, ever. I’m sure some musical nominees will choose to do medleys, which like have you not learned how much medleys suck yet? I hope that Hadestown chooses to do “Why We Build a Wall” to make a killer political statement, but I don’t think it will, even though like, we have 30 years left tops, when if not now?
Most of all, I hope everyone reading this watches this year! They need to increase their ratings! Do your part and ensure that all the kids in podunk middles-of-nowhere see people like them exist! Enjoy!
