Voting With Your Dollar: A Big Fork Off to Equinox & SoulCycleby Randi / August 9, 2019Over the weekend, I tried the vegan tasting menu at a non-vegan place and I was blown away – I think it’s one of the best vegan tasting menus out there! I know I’m starting off with a REAL bold statement but damn if I’m not telling the truth. You may already know all about our crippling addiction to tasting menus and eating at all the Michelin-starred restaurants that will accommodate vegans (you can read about some of those here), even though as previous Vegan Michelin Series reviews will tell you, it’s all usually very good but kind of like ‘eh it’s still just a well-cooked vegetable; is it worth all this money’. But I was pleasantly surprised by The Frog, a very hip very cool restaurant in Hoxton Square that’s doing actually creative tasting menus, even for vegans, and has received a Michelin Bib Gourmand in recent years, which warrants its place in this series (but honestly it was good enough that I’d be putting it here even without official Michy recognition).
I know I said in one of the last of the Vegan Michelin Series that we were probably going to stop for a while but a) that was like a year ago so we did b) this was a very special occasion and 3) this tasting menu was only £50 per person! That’s like normal eating out in London prices! (Side note, are you so glad I learned how to use the £ sign and stopped saying ‘pounddollars’. That’s growth.)
Like all tasting menus, this menu describes what’s to come using as few key words as possible so you really have no idea what to expect but it looks and sounds g-d elegant. Also, the sparsely worded menu makes it seem like you aren’t getting a lot of food but as usual we had to roll ourselves home. They quickly brought our first snacks, which I appreciated because I was as hungry as I was excited and also I can’t stay out too late especially when we have to walk through SHOREDITCH on a WEEKEND to get home man alive it was a nightmare of drunken crowdedness.
My first bunch of snacks were called “heritage carrot, roasted hazelnuts, mint” and “kohlrabi, nori, tarragon”. I like these words but was curious to see what they meant when put together.
The little kohlrabi bite was good, though the nori was extra strong and made it a bit too salty for me. But that carrot bite was literally incredible. I was/am almost embarrassed to be so bowled over by a jesus forking cracker with barbecued-tasting carrots on a delightful carrot puree but it was magical, and it makes my head hurt to think about how this was possible. This was my first Jon-Lovitz-on-Friends impression in a while (“Like it?? I could eat a hundred of ’em!”). This goddamn carrot cracker was my first indication that this was going to be amazing. (But seriously why was this so good?? How did you do it? What dark magick hath you wrought?)
Our next snacks – oh, so for tasting menus and Michelin-y places they like to throw a bunch of small bites at your face before you get to the actual courses so you feel well-liked by the chef and full as fork sooner rather than later – were just as good if not better! I got a sourdough cracker topped with pea hummus and dollops of…something jammy? I got jammed! Just as I weirdly went off about how amazing a simple bite of carrot was, I’m going to do the same about versions of sourdough right now. This cracker was amazing. I wish I could buy bags on bags of these crackers since they somehow nailed the exact perfect strength and texture for holding hummus, and as you know I eat hummus every day. EVERY DAY SON. I forget what the jammy dodger drops were all about but it added the perfect bit of sweetness to cut through the mild flavors. And guys, HUMMUS! Most of my tasting menu overviews complain about how they never think to give vegans protein because they’re always too busy going ‘oh look at me, look at me, I can cook a vegetable like you’ve never seen it before’ and you’re like ‘that’s fantastic and you’re right but also my muscles’ so I was prettay, prettay stoked to get peas so early on.
I can’t believe I wrote so much about a g-d cracker with hummus but it was really good.
Also pictured above was one of our favorite things ever and also our downfall: the bread. The Frog’s rye sourdough bread was forking phenom, and while Z got his with the place’s very famous chicken butter (gross)(not like ‘gross’ Z said it was great but I mean like gross for us sorry), I got a pat of house-made vegan butter! And by ‘pat’ I mean ‘patrick’ really because this was a lotttt of butter, and it was forking delicious. So delicious that we…asked for more bread. I know. You NEVER ask for more bread at a tasting menu. We are not new to this! We know the drill – you are already super full before you even get to dessert, and then they keep bringing you more food than you can handle and you leave feeling disgustingly full but like so happy but also SO hurt! We know all this! We done f-ed up because of that damn delicious bread. And the butter. Dammit bread and butter! Why are you so good? We had so much and then I was already full before my first actual course came. NEVER ASK FOR MORE BREAD (except honestly do because it’s so good).
My first actual course, thank you I’m already full, was “celeriac, apple, dates”. The combo of celeriac and apple is prime fancy restaurant territory and I was like oh this will be nice but basic. Turns out this was not basic but ya basic, because guess what was inside that bundle of celeriac? TOFU! It was like a tofu cream cheese stuffed inside the bundle. Restaurants NEVER do tofu anything except chocolate mousse so this was a really nice surprise. Yasss for protein, yes for tofu in the savories! This was really good. But the best part was that Z also had a cream cheese filled dish, and when the waiter described his dish and mentioned “the richness of the cream cheese”, Z said (after he left) “well thanks for letting me eat all that damn butter.” He was hurt too. It was so good.
My next course was “roast cauliflower, kimchi, yeast”. I know – I was like ‘jfc they’re going to bring me a hunk of roasted cauliflower and call it a steak, aren’t they? ffs’ because for some reason I was still being all defensive even though everything so far was wonderful. I should really be more optimistic because hot damn guys, this cauliflower dish was like one of the most mind-blowing things I’ve ever had. I still can’t even believe this dish. There were a few roasted cauliflower florets but not like you’ve ever had before. They tasted like General Tso’s chicken, complete with the sticky sweet sauce in the middle. But 100x better than you’ve ever had. The cauliflower kimchi was super pungent and spicy (nice) and the creamy sauce itself was remarkable. I guess the yeast was maybe a sprinkling of nooch? I’m not sure; I didn’t ask because I was too busy saying ‘holy shit, holy shit, holy shit.’
I was so happy and so satisfied, and I relaxed a little knowing that we hit the peak of the meal and nothing else coming was going to top that (sounds weird but that’s a little relaxing, like the pressure is off). But I was wrong.
I was wrong because next up was the “flatbread, cashew, sweetcorn, jalapeno” dish and it was Mexico. It was Mexico on a plate. (It’s fitting too, because starting this week on the Travel section of this site it’s time for our epic Mexico trip. I KNOW! So I know what Mexico tastes like, guys.) This was a perfect food. I don’t know what else to say about it. The sturdy little flatbread had the most incredible texture and (I’m sooo sorry) mouthfeel, and all the components on top – that cashew cream, the corn, the jalapeno, the herby oil – exist just to be placed on that circle of magic. I made Z have a piece even though he was equally full and, in his words, “I got my own problems here!” and he agreed that it was akin to disc of rainbows. He didn’t say that.
That marked the end of our savory dishes, but there was a special in-between course that killed us both – the cheese doughnut. Mine was an oily fried dough slab covered in cashew cream and cashew dust and it killed me. Oh my god. I don’t eat too much heavy food and this was like an Iowa state fair concentrated into three bites. It was like a funnel cake from a carnival without the sugar, manhandled into a denser substance, and then topped with forking cashew cream. It was so heavy, is what I’m saying. And yes it was pretty darn good, but I think it needed either some salt or some sugar, because without any additional flavor, its flavor profile was just Fat. Every gluttonous tasting menu situation has a point where you suspect the restaurant is making fun of you, and this was theirs. Z said “this isn’t a doughnut; this is a way to get people to eat fondue with their hands!” I asked him if he liked his doughnuttier, cheese-filled version, expecting him to say ‘eh’ or something, and he sighed in fullness and horror at what he was eating and said “fucking of course”. Hilarious. We were mocking how full the other was (so full) and I said to him ‘you have to finish all that coconut!’ Here’s his dish after he ate his doughnut. (Read the caption.)
Luckily, we had little palate cleansers before dessert.
This strawberry sorbet was perfect, and I loved getting it as a little palate cleanser and not as my whole dessert. I think most restaurants have learned from their sordid past of offering vegans fruit and fruit sorbets for dessert and calling it a day, and that’s a reality I like to think all my complaining has helped bring to fruition.
I do wish that they had put this on the vegan menu though, or told me I was getting a strawberry sorbet palate cleanser, because the vegan dessert option has you choose between strawberry or pineapple and I chose strawberry. So I had two servings of this (the second on my actual dessert). Unless…maybe they had made my strawberry sorbet for my dessert and then just gave me more of it to have a palate cleanser while Z had his? Interesting.
I’m not too mad about doubling up on the sorbet though, because like I said it was delicious, and more importantly, the vegan dessert was much more than just sorbet. It was more tofu! In the form of chocolate! And yes this isn’t exactly creative but man alive I’ll never look a gift chocolate tofu mousse in the mouth. I’ll be too busy putting it in mine. This may not have been the most interesting dessert, but it was great, and I’d rather have something tried and true and delicious than another curry ice cream fail.
As usual, just when you think you’ve made it, they bring you more food to end your experience. With our bill came these chocolate truffles. Luckily, they put them in a little to-go container for us, and I got to enjoy mine the next day. It was truly great, like this entire dinner. I would highly recommend a trip to The Frog for a go at their tasting menu, especially if you need a fancy place that caters to vegans and weirdos who aren’t vegan. I believe they change their menu monthly, so get in for these amazing dishes while it’s still August. I can’t wait to go back.
THE FROG, HOXTON, LONDON, UK, EUROPE PLEASE STAY EUROPE
Water speed: Honestly, LUDICROUSLY good. Like more attentive than American Chinese restaurants where they refill your glass after every sip you take. But since we had water carafes on the table, it was a little unnecessary – you don’t have to refill my glass after every sip when I have the full bottle within reach! I can do it myself! But still, I’ll never complain about having good water service. I mean I guess I just did. But it was great. They replaced the 6 or so bottles I went through very quickly too.
Service: Really great. Like I said, sometimes it was a little extra with the water service, but overall this was some of the best if not the best service in London. Case in point: During one course, I finished my dish and my 10th bottle of water, but Z still wasn’t done and I said I’m sorry but I’ve had 15 bottles of water so I excused myself and when I got back, he told me that they came to refold my napkin (as they do) but did not take my finished plate away! THAT IS A FIRST. They did exactly what you’re supposed to do but no one ever follows that rule. Every other restaurant has always taken the empty plate away while the other diner/s were still eating, which is forking rude and also not the correct move, so bravo. The sommelier was good too and Z said he enjoyed the wine pairing.
Bathrooms: Okay so this was the only real negative I have to report. There are two single stalls, one plain, one disabled, and they were…not good. They were like the bathrooms in Starbucks but less nice. We were both really surprised.
Food: So surprisingly awesome. Some of these dishes are on my Most list. It’s so nice to find a vegan tasting menu that definitely shows respect to vegetables but also makes them fun and interesting.
Bonus: The tasting menu cost is very reasonable. It’s a fraction of the cost of other Michelin-y ones out there and yet much better. Great stuff.
Related Posts
Morimoto Philadelphia: The Original Sushi Lovers’ Paradise Has Wonderful Vegan Options
Despite living in Philadelphia since Morimoto opened, I never ate there until after I became vegan. It might seem like unfortunate timing to many, but the vegan options are so wonderful that anyone, vegan or omnivore, would be more than satisfied eating fishless here. I called the restaurant when I was helping The Humane League make the new Philly Veg Dining Guide, and the person I spoke with was so excited to talk about their fantastic vegan options that it warranted inclusion.
It’s still milk! |
Now it’s tofu! |
I’ve tried many dishes and still not all of them. I started with the yosedofu, which I’ve heard is one of Morimoto’s most famous and beloved dishes for vegetarians and non-vegetarians alike. Perhaps the most authentic dish on the menu, the yosedofu is a soft tofu that is made at your table. The server brings a clay pot of fresh soy milk to your table, stirs it with a flourish, and covers it for 10-15 minutes. When the time is up, the lid is lifted and you magically have a dish of solid tofu! It usually comes with a crab sauce, but the vegetarian option was some type of carrot-y goo. The tofu was insane, obviously the freshest you could ever imagine, but begged for a strong sauce. This goo was not that sauce. I ended up using a lot of soy sauce to give it the necessary kick. The video below shows the waiter stirring the soy milk for way longer than you need to watch it.
The tofu, now plated
Speaking of the soy sauce, the #1 rule for vegetarian dining at Morimoto is to ask for the vegetarian soy sauce! What kind of soy sauce isn’t vegetarian by default, you ask incredulously? Morimoto’s house soy sauce, that’s what. It’s ‘infused’, or some other fancy word, with fish sauce. E. Gads. Like I said, #1 rule.
Next I tried a dish that I have been craving daily ever since I had it, the cha-soba, which are green tea noodles, chilled, with scallions, wasabi, sesame seeds, and shoyu. I don’t know how these subtle noodles won me over but they did. I didn’t quite get the green tea – maybe I don’t actually know what the flavor of green tea is if it’s not over-steeped actual bitter tea – but there was a special, new taste to them that was lovely. I love noodles. Noodles noodles noodles. Watch them go down. Down into my belly.
Noodles. Every time you eat them, you get smarter.
See you tonight! Sushi! Sushi!
Surprisingly, the sushi rolls were less impressive, though of course delicious. At a place like this, you’d expect even their vegetarian sushi rolls to be as innovative and remarkable as the fishy rolls. But, although the seasonal vegetable maki and the shiitake mushroom rolls were great and I could eat 100 of them, they were basic. They weren’t noticeably better than anything I’d get from the local great but non-veg sushi place. Maybe I’m just super-spoiled by Beyond Sushi, the all vegan sushi joint in NYC, which I have pretty much every single weekend. Okay, I’m definitely spoiled by Beyond Sushi. But shouldn’t Morimoto be better than a counter in Chelsea Market? He needs to add some creative vegan sushi to the menu.
Two of the main entrees can be made vegan, and while I didn’t get them, I will need to next time because they both sound great. One, the ishi yaki bop, is rice cooked with vegetables and tofu (for the veg option) in a hot stone bowl that crispifies the components, like a bi bim bap. I know you are shocked I didn’t get something with the word bop in it. Next time. The other option was another rice and tofu-based dish that sounded wonderful.
Two of the main entrees can be made vegan, and while I didn’t get them, I will need to next time because they both sound great. One, the ishi yaki bop, is rice cooked with vegetables and tofu (for the veg option) in a hot stone bowl that crispifies the components, like a bi bim bap. I know you are shocked I didn’t get something with the word bop in it. Next time. The other option was another rice and tofu-based dish that sounded wonderful.
My favorite dish was the yasai ramen, an already vegetarian soup with vegetable broth, rice noodles, and Japanese vegetables. The vegetables were not as plentiful as I would have hoped (or cut small enough! It got messy), but there were lots of those stick-like mushrooms that I love. And more importantly, the broth was superb. It was the best soup broth I have ever tasted. Stuffed at this point, I still needed to finish this enormous bowl. I would go back and just get this ramen. I wonder if Morimoto does orders for pick-up. This huge bowl of perfect soup was only $12, too, so it’s pretty much the same price as any ramen you’d get from any street corner noodle shop. What a great deal! The rest of the menu is pretty incredibly expensive, but this ramen is so filling and delicious you’d be set just having this and proving to your friends that eating vegan can be cheap, even at four-dollar-sign restaurants! (Just don’t ever split the bill evenly. Ever. Always say, “Nah let’s each pay for what we got.” Jesus.)
Someone remind me what my favorite kind of mushroom is called.
MORIMOTO, PHILADELPHIA
- Water speed: Decent, but the glasses are too small. What is it with fancy restaurants and tiny glasses? Give me enormous beersteins or something!
- Bathrooms: Downstairs and lovely, as expected in fancy restaurants. HOWEVER, my biggest gripe was that one sink was marked as ‘out of order’, but was just running nonstop. I talked to the hostess and she said “Yeah, that’s broken.” I asked if someone was called to SHUT THE WASTING WATER OFF, and she said yes but like, how long does it take to get a plumber to just shut off the water? How long did they let it run? Ughhh stabby.
- Service: It was fine at first, but then in the second half of our meal, our waitress was nowhere to be found. It got so bad that we were going to order dessert, and then too much time went by that it was like bedtime so we just asked another waiter for our check. When it was time to pay, our waitress came back and looked super out of it. I blame the rampant drug problem that occurs behind the scenes at fancy restaurants.
- Food: Delicious and interesting, for the most part. Great place to bring omnivores for a special occasion (it is expensive!)
- Bonus: Eating at an Iron Chef’s restaurant is pretty cool, even if he wasn’t there.
Getting Swole: SIMPLE Protein-Packed Chocolate Peanut Butter Cups
Since I’m a human who lives on this planet, I am in love with the magic combination of chocolate and peanut butter. It is objectively better than any other duo and I will fight any suggestions you may make in the comments. A lot of British people don’t understand peanut butter and I think that might be the real reason behind the American Revolution. As an American import, I myself might eat more peanut butter than anyone else in this marmite-eating land. (Marmite and peanut butter are not similar or interchangeable in the least, and the fact that some people still believe this lie causes a good deal of British nose-turning at my fren PB and as a result much of my consternation.) I ran a little bakery market stall on the weekends for a short while and always had peanut butter cookies on offer and people would be like ‘ew definitely don’t want those’ and I would leap from behind the stall and shove the peanut butter cookies down their throats and scream HOW DO YOU LIKE IT NOW MORON? I don’t do the stall anymore.
So yeah you could say I am a huge fan of the stuff. (Notice how I use real, inoffensive words like “am in love with” and “am a huge fan of” instead of taking tragic stories of mentally ill people and turning their names into cutesy trendy vocab because I am not a FUCKING MONSTER, PEOPLE. STOP DOING IT.) Given my medical need to eat chocolate every day, putting the two together makes perfect culinary sense and is an efficient method for ensuring I eat both in a day. What’s more, I need to fit in a lot of protein during the day too, so it helps my #goals to use my desserts or snacks as a vehicle for protein too. So it makes delicious wise sense for me to combine all these needs into one amazing dessert. I know what you are thinking: “Wait, didn’t I already read this post and didn’t you already give me this recipe?” No but I can see why you went there. The last recipe I gave was for protein-packed cashew butter cups and these are chocolate peanut butter cups. Yes I have a one-track mind. But really, the previous recipe is amaaaazing and produces a cookie dough-like filling, but it is complicated. There’s cashew butter and protein powders and flax and coconut oil and OATS? and F-ING CHICKPEAS. If you feel like getting all that shit out of your cupboard and having your husband ask like mine did ‘good lord why did you put oats and beans in a chocolate thing?’, then go nuts. They’re worth it. But, if you’re like I was this past week and you just want a simple PB cup that requires FOUR INGREDIENTS only (plus the chocolate), thereby saving you a lot of time but still being insanely delicious, then this post is for you.
SIMPLE PROTEIN PEANUT BUTTER CUPS
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Ingredients
For the chocolate:
For the filling:
Directions (or just follow the pictures!)
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GET YOURSELF SOME NEW ORCHESTRATIONS 
(how much do you love my gigantic food processor it’s GIGANTIC) 
NEW ROUTINES AND RED VELVET CURTAINS 
GET A FEATHERED HAT FOR THE BABY |
husbo p got me flowers 🙂
Enjoy! Here’s my requisite tupperware shot.
