January 19, 2023
Voting with Your Dollar: 3 More Co's on My Naughty List, Plus Thoughts on Cashless Businessesby Randi / July 26, 201924 Hours in Washington, D.C., if You Can Stand the Company
Okay so I actually only had 20 hours in D.C. recently but ’24 hours in x place’ is like a thing so we’re going with that for the title. As an east coaster by birth, I’ve been to D.C. several times, but not for several years and never with such a prime opportunity for a trendy-sounding blog post. 24-ish hours in this vibrant city* full of incredible museums, even better hotels (that’s clearly a biased opinion from someone who values sleep above all), great vegan food, and people actively destroying our lives and our planet? SIGN ME UP.
*Washington, D.C. is a big city but it is also, as you know, a federal district that’s the capital of the USA (USA! USA! no not really) and is also treated as a state and a county for census purposes so it’s just like this fun lil enigmatic city-state-county-district-capital-effervescence jawn that had its street layout designed by a goddamn psychopath who enjoyed everyone getting the wrong mail and getting lost while he stroked a white cat and went ‘wheeee this is fun I’m having fun! four of you will have the same address!’
If you aren’t a fellow east-coast American, you probably haven’t been to DC for a school trip when you were a yoot and so you’ll need to see all the required aspects of a true DC tour when you first go: the U.S. Capital building, the National Mall, the Monuments Washington & Lincoln, the Library of Congress, the Smithsonian (the one with Dorothy’s ruby slippers, the best one), things like that. If this is true for you, you will need mmm more than 20 hours in DC. But that’s cool, because then that means you could have more than one night in the bed that’s now on my Top 5 Beds of All Time list! I KNOW! (More on that later.)
If you are like me and all been there, done that about a governmental system that you thought was secure but haha isn’t, and you have one night and barely a day to see something interesting, then this is the post for you, friendo. We have time to do one interesting thing, eat two meals, and have an amazing night’s sleep. I know you’re like “this is what former prime minister Neville Chamberlain called ‘barely a travel guide'” (comment if you get the reference) but it’s a nice (and rare) departure from our full-on travelogues that take you days to read, isn’t it?
DO
There’s a newish (in the scheme of things) museum in DC, and it’s such a must-see that it’s your only-see if you only have a day. The National Museum of African American History and Culture, a Smithsonian museum, is absolutely your activity for the day if you haven’t been yet. Although it opened a few years ago (you didn’t think it opened under this regime, right), it’s still talked about like it’s DC’s hottest club (‘it has everything’) because it’s so hard to get into. It’s free, like all Smithsonian museums in DC, but you have to book tickets in advance, and those tickets get snatched in a hot second. We looked so far in advance but they were gone, gone, gone. Luckily, a friend alerted us to their walk-up system. Trying to find accurate information was confusing – is it just on Wednesdays? just Wednesdays of certain months? is it all weekdays after 1pm? We found websites that supported each of these ideas. To be safe, we went on a Wednesday AND after 1pm, and we got in! Now the website is clearer: during peak season (spring and summer), walk-ups are allowed weekdays after 1pm (for off-peak (fall and winter), it’s after 10am). There was actually no line, which was a surprise, but there were literally thousands of school kids on class trips. Hooray for learning and noise!
The museum, called the African American museum for shorthand since the acronym NMOAAHAC or whatever it is isn’t the most convenient, is astounding. If you follow me on the soshes (that’s cool speak for social media, links on this page), you know I complain sometimes about how much time we spend in museums. It’s a lot, I get tired. But this one, this one is different. It is altogether fascinating, depressing, infuriating, and riveting. The collection spans in great detail the entire African American experience from the start of slavery, through the civil war and segregation and the fight for civil rights, to LGBTQ issues and the Obama administration. There’s a special section dedicated just to Emmett Till (one of the saddest rooms you’ll ever be in, just absolutely heartbreaking so prepare for that), including the casket originally used. There are clothes worn by Rosa Parks, James Brown, and Muhammed Ali. Chuck Berry’s red Cadillac is on display, along with a bible owned by Nat Turner and the handcuffs used to arrest Henry Louis Gates, Jr. in 2009.
The experience, which I’m sure you understand by now is super heavy, begins way below ground level, as you learn about the slave trade’s beginnings while trapped in dark underground rooms. On display are maps showing all the various routes for slave ships, information about life on the plantations, and all kinds of torture and control devices used on slaves. You can spend hours in these early sections, and we did. As history progresses through the various wars and movements, your tour moves upstairs to more seemingly endless halls of incredible displays. There are five stories below ground and five above, and you need to devote time to all of it.
If it sounds like an untenable amount of historical and cultural artifacts trying to explain hundreds of years of an entire culture, it’s because it is, except the museum is designed so extraordinarily (except for bathrooms, where are they) that it all moves smoothly. You just need to devote a least an entire day to it. We had about 4 hours, and we barely started the above-ground floors. Some people have recommended several days. I don’t know if I would be able to handle that, but if you can, by all means, plan for it. You won’t be disappointed (but you will be absolutely devastated afterwards).
EAT
After the harrowing museum experience, you deserve a treat, so let’s talk about food! We were in town for one dinner and one brunch, so we went with a new trendy restaurant for one and a tried-and-true fave for the other. For dinner, we met DC friends at hotspot Indian restaurant Pappe, by Logan Circle at 1317 14th Street NW. Pappe had a well-marked menu – every dish says if it has gluten or dairy or nuts – and the server helped us choose some great vegan dishes. Living in east London, we get our share of amazing Indian food on a regular basis, but Pappe impressed. Unfortunately, their dals have ghee in them (you know me and beans), but there were plenty of delicious vegetable dishes that were gheeless. I’m looking at the Pappe menu and honestly cannot remember what we ordered but I’m going to go with what makes sense and say we shared the Baingan Bartha (open-fire grilled eggplant, tomato, onion, garlic), which was…bangin’ (I had to); the Bhindi Jaipuri (crispy fried okra (the best), mango powder, cumin, coriander); and I want to say the vegetable korma that they were able to make without ghee? I forgot to take notes but it was all good! Add in tons of rice and breads (the roti is marked with dairy but they just left it off) and we were gold. It’s definitely a nice option if you are meeting omnivores in Logan Circle.
As for my brunch/lunch, there was only one place in DC I wanted to go: my old fave Busboys & Poets. I know, you’re like ‘ya basic’ and you know, this time I’m okay with it. If loving Busboys & Poets makes me basic then throw a pumpkin spice latte at my face and call me Becky (please don’t really throw anything at my face though). B&P is the ubiquitous DC chain that has such a great menu for literally everyone, and has some great vegan options. It was really hard to order and as usual I ordered half-wrong because of pressure, but also half-right so it’s a good day.
I started with like fried vegan chicken bites? Which is VERY out of character for me but I was like ‘I should break out of my ordering patterns and not get something I always just make for myself’ but you know what, patterns can be nice. These were just like, chewy chicken bites with way too much sticky Korean barbecue sauce and that’s not my kind of thing! Other vegan starters on the menu include tofu bites, hummus, and mac & cheese, but I was like “I eat those things almost every day wah wah wah do something different they say” and it bit me in the ass. Never do anything different! I’ve learned that now.
But luckily I was smart with my entree, because when there is a tempeh panini on a menu, I will be GETTING IT. My obsesh with tempeh sandwiches is rivaled only by the obsesh with banh mi and reubens (not-fun fact, the B&P menu had a reuben and I am so spoiled with vegan options that I assumed for a second that it was vegan! it was not!).
THIS WAS SO GOOD! And it came with a side salad! That’s my perfect accompaniment to anything! Even a choral concert I’d be like ditch the piano my preferred accompaniment is a side salad.
SLEEP
Ah, we’ve gotten to the most important part, the part I know you’ve been waiting for. We stayed our one night in DC this summer at the Hamilton Hotel, at 1001 14th Street NW. There are lots of good hotels in DC, but none of them, NONE OF THEM, have a room like the one we stayed in at the Hamilton.
That’s because none of them have a VEEP SUITE!
That’s right, we stayed in the Veep Suite at the Hamilton and it was SPECTACULAR! I’m assuming you’ve watched Veep, because if you read this site you have to know pop culture, and if you know pop culture at all you know that the best, funniest g-d show probably in the history of television is Veep. And the best, funniest g-d hotel suite is this one. We were cracking up at every little detail: Selina’s books, her diplomas, hilarious photos from so many scenes, family photos with her daughter, campaign signs in the bathrooms? It was so well done, so fun, and so amazing. I believe that some of the furniture was designed from or came directly from actual set pieces.
I’ve put a video tour in my instagram stories (link at the top), which will stay in my DC highlights tab forever (FOREVER) so take a look when you can for a fun Blair-Witch-style video!
The only downside of the room was, they had all the DVDs of every season of the series in the living room…but no DVD player. We were so excited to stay up late watching a few episodes, but the front desk confirmed that there were no DVD players in the whole place. Quit playing games with my heart!
No but really, the real downside was that we only had one night here. It was such a blast to explore all the details. And the best was that, above all the cheeky references and funny pictures, the bed was actually incredible. It’s in my list of TOP 5 BEDS ever! (Yes, one day soon we will do a whole post about them.) Ugh it was incredible. I loved that aside from all the hilarity, it was still an ace hotel room in an amazing suite.
IT GETS BETTER! Outside the room, by our floor’s elevator bank, there was a whole Oval Office set up! We got to take pictures at the faux-resolute desk and pretend we were going to save the country. Oh it’s fun to dream.
SO MUCH FUN! What a great experience. I love nothing more than when all my interests collide, so combining traveling with some beloved television and a sick bed (not to be confused with a sickbed, not my fave thing) is a surefire way to make me happy.
To top it off (and to continue my every-hotel-gym reviews), the Hamilton had a very decent gym onsite.
I took one ridiculous photo because I didn’t want to get anyone else in it, but I wanted to remember how pleased I was that they actually had space on the floor! My home gym barely has any space! I need space! I jump all over! There was also a little corner with big balls, small balls, yoga mats, and water, everything you’d need. Huzzah!
So, it was a short but memorable trip to DC this go-round. Eat some good vegan food, visit an incredible museum, and stay in the best hotel suite in America if you are going anytime soon. And then there’s only one important thing left to do (in caption).
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Moscow, Russia: A Bustling City of Landmarks, Police, and Barricades
I honestly still don’t know how I feel about Moscow. We spent four days there, and saw all the things we wanted to see in four days, and I just feel like I don’t have a handle on the city. There’s a lot going on and every area feels like a different city or even country. The center is really fancy, with every high fashion design house and jewelry company represented on polished streets. But 10 minutes outside the center, and by the train stations, it looks like how we’d imagine Russia at the collapse of the Soviet Union. It’s all very incongruous, and not being able to grasp the correct mood of the city made me feel uneasy. Although, it could just be because of the P.O.S. hostel we stayed at!
We left St. Petersburg Wednesday night at 11:55pm on the famous Red Arrow sleeper train, Train #001, for Moscow. This was our first real leg of the Trans Siberian (or Trans Mongolian…or Trans Manchurian…we’re going to Mongolia & China so it’s like both/all/I don’t know). Oh we met some older tourists earlier that day or the day before who were Russian but lived in Miami. They asked what we were doing in Russia and we said “We’re doing the Trans Siberian Railway!” and the Russian Miami lady said “Oh is that a Jewish thing?” Like first of all what. Second of all what Russian person doesn’t know about their train system? Thirdly who says anything like that to 3 strangers who are combined only 1/6 Jewish? Was so weird! Who doesn’t know what the Trans Siberian is when you are IN Russia? So now every time we are faced with any sort of new thing we go “Oh is that a Jewish thing?” Amazing. So anyway, on our St. Petey-Moscow sleeper, we were in second class but it was the fanciest darn train I’ve ever seen. (What on earth is first class like!) I boarded with my teeth already brushed, my face already washed. I hurried to the bathroom in the train-provided slippers to take out my contacts and put on my pajamas, and then I was ready to snuggle into my clean white-sheeted bottom bunk when…our stranger cabinmate arrived! Second class means cabins of four beds, and we were three people, so we had a STRANGER! His name was Ivan and he was a Russian man, mid-30s I’d say. He was super nice and friendly and spoke enough English to get by with us, but that meant he was up for chatting AND he had a friend in the next cabin who came in and sat with us! On our beds ughhhh. It was after midnight and I wanted to sleep and I was so tired from all we’ve been doing and these two Russian guys were drinking and chatting for hours with the two American boys while I did the head-conk sleepy thing I used to do in Statistics. I mean trying to stay awake so strangers can drink and talk in your room after midnight when one of them isn’t even supposed to be there and in the best case you can only get like 6 hours of sleep and you have a HUGE day of sightseeing to do the next day isn’t exactly my idea of fun. But I’m weird like that.
Still, it was a beautiful train and a great experience – one which really spoiled me for the subsequent train journeys this trip, but we’ll get to that later. On this fancy train, they gave slippers and toothbrushes and little water bottles and breakfast cookies (not for me but still). Even though we didn’t get enough sleep, we were excited enough by our arrival in Moscow to charge through a whole day of stuff. We arrived at the train station which is in one of the not-nice areas and I was like oh hot damn, we’re not in Kansas anymore. We made our way to our hostel, which was luckily centrally located in the nice part of the city, so its location was 100% responsible for its high online rating. 7 minute walk from the Bolshoi Ballet, 15-20 from Red Square. The location was responsible for all its internet points, because it was a p.o.s. The teenagers ‘working’ there, and I use that word loosely, barely did anything at all. It was an ordeal to get them to do their job, like put toilet paper in the shared bathrooms. One of the guys working a few night shifts I think was just hanging around because he was the boyfriend of one of the actual employees. It was all very ridiculous and unprofessional. Speaking of those shared bathrooms, one for each sex, they each had one communal hand towel by the sinks. Those towels were not changed more than once in our four day stay. Husband said the men’s remained on the floor in a puddle the whole time. Worst of all, they didn’t have a water cooler or purifier like the last hostel did. We aren’t supposed to drink the tap water so we had to buy sooo much plastic. Ugh. All of this doesn’t even compare to how rude the other guests were. Loud talking all night, music, hell one guy was playing his ukulele at all hours and even though I really like the ukulele I think he put me off the ukulele for the near future. What a shame. But the winner was the guy who was skyping for three hours one night, seated at the small desk right outside our door. He had the loudest voice I’ve ever heard in my life and was a ridiculous person, talking about his views on Ukraine and how he wanted to protest something while in Russia and I was like omg you really are an idiot. When it got past midnight and we were still clearly hearing every painful word of his through our closed door, I went out and was like ARE YOU F-ING KIDDING ME? He moved to a standing wander outside the men’s dorm which I think went over with them equally well. I’m so glad to be done with that place (although I’m writing this from a tiny tiny train cabin shared with two strangers and what I would give for that private room right now.
The first thing on our agenda was to see Red Square, but Husband missed being away from work for so long apparently because the first thing we actually did in Moscow was meet his colleague at the Moscow office of his firm for coffee lololol. Really nice guy! I had two bottles of law firm water for free!
Red Square
GUUUUM
After dropping our bags, we immediately set out for Red Square. That’s the big f-ing thing to see, right? We wanted to see it straight away! (Look how British!) But the politzia had other things in mind. The entire area surrounding the Red Square was barricaded off and black sedans did what seemed like speed tests back and forth in front of the Four Seasons. People who spoke a little English said it was because that day marked an important day in Russian history, but I don’t know how the fake car chases help to celebrate it. With the entire central region cordoned off, it meant we could not get to the Red Square, St. Basils Tomb, the State History Museum, the Kremlin, Lenin’s Tomb, GUM (the department store that was the subject of literally every practice sentence in our first semester of Russian – “Where are you going?” “I’m going to GUM!” “Where can I buy souvenirs?” “You can buy souvenirs at GUM!” – so it was what we were most excited about in all of Moscow, I think. Pro tip, you can’t actually get souvenirs at GUM; it’s a super swanky mall now with every expensive designer you can think of represented, plus endless ice cream carts. We’ve never seen so many people constantly eating ice cream as we have in Russia). Our entire Moscow list was suddenly unavailable to us! So we decided to use that unfortunate turn to go out to the burbs to pick up the rest of our train tickets from the company we used to book them. (You can book them yourself, but we are on such a specific schedule, and it’s summertime so the routes fill up, so we didn’t want to risk it. Also, so far all our trains have been full, so it was worth it.)So at least we got that over with, but we still hadn’t seen really any of the city yet!
State HIstory Museum
Later that afternoon, we decided to try again, but nope, barricades everywhere you turn. Luckily, one of the guards at the barricades (you at the barricades listen to THIS! no one is coming to help you to fiiiiiight you’re on your oooown you have no frieeeends <– literally the meanest lyric in all of musical theatre) was able to communicate to us that Red Square itself was now open, but the gates remained all around – except for in one roundabout area which we directed us to. A little more walking (we’re walking like 10 miles a day erma my po po feet)and we finally made it to what we came for.
Mixed up files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler
The Red Square is impressive, mostly because of St. Basil’s Cathedral, the famous onion domes you know. It’s a lot smaller than we expected, but super gorgeous. We went inside immediately, and it’s surprisingly not a big hall like most other churches but is made up of tiny chapels and little staircases and alleys connecting all these disparate parts. I didn’t care much for the inside, especially after being blown away by the inside of the Church on Spilled Blood in St. Petersburg, but it’s still St. Basil’s and so famous and important so go if you want. The outside is where it’s at though.
One entire side of the square is GUM, one is the State History Museum (which Husband went to when I needed a morning off from museuming which was the best decision maybe I ever made), one is Basil’s, and one is the walled off border of the Kremlin, plus Lenin’s Tomb. We wanted to go to Lenin’s Tomb right after Basilypuddy but for some reason it was closed off. The guard said just ‘closed today’ and open tomorrow. The Tomb has very specific, short hours – just 10-1pm – so we were upset that we would have to fit it in another day. Guess what. It took four days of trying before it was actually open. “Historical days”, “Graduation”, more “Graduation” – guards over the next three days had all kinds of excuses ready for us as to why it was closed when it wasn’t supposed to be. So frustrating. When we finally got in, on our very last day, it was an hour and a half wait! 90 minutes in line just to see an embalmed body?
Not Lenin’s tomb but at Lenin’s tomb
Weird stuff inside guys
Oh that’s right, Lenin is literally displayed in a glass case (of emotion) like it’s an open casket at a funeral. He looks like he just died. They are embalming the crap out of him. It’s sooo weird. I knew he was like mummified somehow but I didn’t expect it to just be like ‘here, it’s a body like normal, except dead for decades’. I made several emoji faces during our hurried walk around the glass case (the many guards usher you along quickly (also no pictures allowed of course, would be too weird)) and I think the guards were laughing at me. It was so weird. I wonder if this was Lenin’s wish or if it was decided after he died. I hope his ghost isn’t like freaking out over being a tourist attraction. So weird.
Guarding Moscow’s Eternal Flame outside the Kremlin. Strangely this is a popular place for newlyweds to take photos – and indeed we saw some doing just that!
Inside the Kremlin – Cathedral Square
Another day was dedicated entirely to the Kremlin. Okay guys, if you are planning to go to Moscow soon and visit the Kremlin – which you should if you are there – know that it is an absolute shitshow to get in. Well, first of all, we had to change our designated day for visiting that due to “Graduation” a few times too! Moscow was entirely a city of barricades and police activity, always unexplained to the populace. I think it’s just the goings on of a police state, like they are constantly reminding the citizenry that they don’t have free reign, that the police are the ones with power and have the control here. It really seemed that way to me. Everywhere we went, we encountered barricades and had to replan. It was really annoying and one of the top reasons I wouldn’t want to live in this city. It was a constant onslaught of police activity and being told you can’t do certain things.
Senate building (maybe)
Garden in Kremlin
So, when we finally got to go to the Kremlin – it requires a whole afternoon – we were relieved, before we realized what it took to get in. First, you wait in the longest line for the ticket hall. Guess what, the main tickets are sold at separate windows from extras like the Diamond Fund (the crown jewels, which you want to see), so once you go through the entire line, you have to get in another line to get the extra bit tickets. This happens a lot. Luckily, I went to scope out the inside situation when we were still a good 45 minutes away from being inside the ticket hall (who knows how long from a cashier) and I noticed almost-empty ticket machines in the corner. We of course used those for the main tickets and we saved a good hour. Why was no one using the machines! Crayballs. And someone said you could buy Diamond Fund tickets at the actual building inside, so we hoped they were right. Like most big attractions so far in Russia, once you wait in the line to buy your tickets, you have to wait in another line to get in the attraction. This one was even worse than the ticket line, not because of length but because of tour groups pushing and shoving. It was another absolute shitshow. Russian queues make British people turn to dust. They just push and crowd and have no regard for anyone who may have been there first. So we forgot everything we learned in London and pushed right back. We made it to the severely backed up metal detectors and noticed that most of them were going unused as people just went through the central ones, causing most of the backup. Peeeeopleeeee.
CANNONBALLLLL
Luckily, once you’re in, it’s fine, as long as you stick to the specified walking paths – the guards mean BUSINESS. Anyone who stepped off the path or crossed streets not at a designated crossing had loud whistles blown at them until they got back on the straight and narrow. There were constant whistles.
now that’s a cracked bell
Kremlin just means fortress, not government building, but Moscow’s famous government fortress has made the word stand for it as well. It’s a huge expanse of land behind those walls, with various Senate buildings, Congress halls, monuments of tanks and cannons…and like 8 cathedrals. It’s different to have most of your government grounds be cathedrals! But that’s what we’re here to see! Endless cathedrals! They were the things you can really go inside (of course you can’t go in like the Senate) so hooray for them.
We also were indeed able to buy tickets inside the actual Diamond Fund. These were some crown jewels, man. So beautiful. Of course no pictures allowed here either, but I distinctly remember my favorite thing besides the super giant diamonds. They had this brooch that was a bunch of flowers, made of diamonds and gold and jewels, that was so pretty. But the audioguide told us what made it even better – it was hollowed out inside so it could be filled with water and fresh flowers could be placed inside! I was cracking up. Can you imagine Catherine the Great wearing a flower brooch pinned to her dress that actually had water and fresh flowers inside?! I like to imagine that she bent over to pick something up and the water spilled out and some court man slipped on it.
Because you’ll be spending a lot of time here, it’s important to bring snacks. They have a few carts of various Russian foods like pireshok, I think, and I was able to grab a trail mix bag. But you can find better snacks on the outside. And bring plenty of water! It was a hot day. Actually every day so far has had moments of heat interspersed between mostly freezing temperatures and then incredibly strong rain storms. What is this weather.
outside Kremlin
Even though I’m already museumed out, it’s literally like the #3 thing we will be doing this trip besides seeing cathedrals and taking trains so I geared up for the Tretyakov gallery. They have a main building and a new annex that I thought sounded like it would be small but it was literally the biggest single exhibit I’ve ever seen. It was 20th century Russian art, charting every new movement that happened, and it took 3 hours to go through. When we were finally done, it let us out to a stairwell that led us into…another exhibit. JFC I was about to scream. It was worse than Caesar’s Palace for keeping you in and not letting you leave! I was in a Bunuel movie and I was NOT AMUSED. It was a decent gallery but come on that’s a lot of museuming.
On our walk to the gallery ahhh
On the way to it though, we found this huge fake ship statue of Peter the Great. This memorial is kind of hilarious and awesome. It’s so big! Its champion was the former disgraced mayor of Moscow so there are rumors that it will be removed but come on, you can’t get rid of this. It’s so fun.
One of the funniest things we did in Moscow was go to the Museum of Soviet Arcade Games! It’s a very happening hipster joint with tons of old arcade games from Soviet times. They are so sad you want to cry but it’s really adorable. They gave us English instructions and a bag of tokens and we tried to play them. Most were super glitchy and frustrating but it was so cool to try them out!
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Moscow also has some gorgeous metro stations. We walked mostly everywhere but Husband made a point to find the most beautiful ones. Our Russian teacher told us about them when she went between semesters. They were pretty cool!
The best part of Moscow was the Bolshoi Ballet, which I’ll write about in another post (theatre reviews! never stopping!) and a mostly vegan restaurant called Fresh that I’m obsessed with (food in another post too). Looking back, we did do a lot of fun things in Moscow, but it was all in this overwhelming sense of unease. It’s a city in a time of change, for sure, and it’s unclear what direction would be best for it (you don’t want that fancy center part to take over and price all the citizens out, but you also want it to grow financially). I definitely felt this unease and it prevented me from enjoying Moscow as much as I thought I would. Maybe it was all the police and barricades, maybe it was the city itself, maybe the hostel, maybe because I was surrounded by people eating ice cream and I couldn’t have any and it was so sad. I think some places you gel with and some you don’t, and that’s fine. Onto the next!
Travel Adventure Announcement! I Go To Old Country…a lot of them
Yay it’s time for our big news! This summer (and some of the fall!), we are taking the incredible sabbatical trip that we’ve been talking about for so long. For years now, we’ve been planning this adventure (well, Husband has), and this summer – THIS FRIDAY! – we finally get to start it. You might have guessed by now that that epic google maps screenshot at the top of the page is a map of our route. Here it is again:
I knowww. For 3 ½ months, we are taking the Trans Mongolian Railway throughout Russia to Mongolia and China, and then traveling all around China and through the Silk Route and overland back to Western Europe. It’s almost as crazy as how much stuff I’m trying to cram into my backpack! Yes, we are backpacking, and staying at hostels (and lots of yurts in mountains!), which we haven’t done in a long time (or ever in the case of mountain yurts alongside Mongol families) so it’s an adventure in every way.
This Friday, we fly to Helsinki, our last flight until the very end of September, and on Saturday we catch our first of many, many, so many trains, this one to Saint Petersburg, which means that that entire train ride I will be singing the following lyric from “Natasha, Pierre, and The Great Comet of 1812”, which is simultaneously impressive for the very high falsetto from Lucas Steele but also f-ing hilarious for the very high falsetto from Lucas Steele:
Sorry Husband I know that’s going to get RILL annoying rill fast but who could help it! Actually I’m going to be singing a LOT of “The Great Comet” throughout Section 1 of our trip. For instance, after PETERSBUURRRRRG I’ll be imitating Grace McLean’s scary shouty belt of “WELLLL WELLLL WELCOME TO MOSCOW!!!” God I’m so excited I LOVE when musical theatre provides the soundtrack to my whereabouts. (It’s gonna be so fun when we finally go to Buenos Aires.) I’ll also have a lot of “Anastasia” to work with, because I’ma need courage to not desert me but especially because my grandfather just told me literally 3 weeks ago that one of his parents was from Russia so it’s like a journey to the past. Didn’t know! Ya Rooskii!! So our first month, the Russia month, is like go to old country for me. P.S. that’s as good as my Russian is after we’ve been taking it for 2 years in preparation for this trip. I can pretty much just say “Where is the toilet?” and then speak English in a very comical Russian accent I hope they don’t srow zee acid in zeh face.
For the first week of our trip, our cousin Adam is meeting us! So fun! He was one of the OG’s at Weebly, which hosts this very blog [ed. note: not anymore! hello WordPress my new friend], so hopefully he can help me bypass any blocks and post updates! After Petersburg and Moscow, we train on through to Vladimir, Suzdal, Yekaterinburg, and Irkutsk in Russia. Then, we minibus for like a whole day (ahhh where do I peeeeee) to Olkhon Island, which is a pain in the ass to get to but everyone says once you get there it’s so worth it. I’m so excited. I hope it’s not too cold to swim in the lake. After we hypotherm it up, we train to our last stop in Russia, Ulan-Ude, before entering Ulan Bator, Mongolia, WHERE THERE IS A LOVING HUT. By that point in our travels, I will be so excited to find an all-vegan restaurant that I don’t even care that Loving Huts make you swear allegiance to the cult of the Supreme Master before they give you delicious food that all tastes the same no matter what you order.
Once in Mongolia, we will be celebrating the annual national festival of Naadam. Naadam celebrates the “three games of men” – wrestling, horse racing, and archery, which (aside from the horse racing which I am crossing my fingers is non-violent but when is horse racing ever non-violent?) is a hilarious concept to base a festival around. I hope Robin of Loxley shows up for archery and I can yell about how someone split Robin’s arrow in twaaaaain. In Mongolia (I can’t believe I’m going to Mongolia), we are meeting up with our crazier-than-us friend Sivani from Ever the Wayfarer because when you say to the California-based Sivani ‘hey we should hang out again soon’ she says ‘sure I will meet you in Mongolia that would be easiest for me.’
After Mongolia, we finish Section 1 by training to Beijing, where we begin Section 2 – literally all of China. Well I guess not literally all but we have more than 40 days there so we are seeing a shittonne of it. Right now, the only song I can think of to provide the soundtrack is Tori Amos’s “China” which is kind of a downer so if anyone can make some suggestions I definitely need them. (Am I having a total brain fart or are there no China-based musicals? Booo.) We’re visiting Beijing, Shanghai (bunsssss! I want steamed bunssss), Nanxun, Hangzhou, Huangshan, Guilin, Yangshuo, Chengdu (origin (not) of my dad’s Chinese restaurant staple, Chengdu triple delight!), Xi’an, and then through the western border via Urumqi and Kashgar. I’m gonna see giant pandas!! And so much other stuff. A lot of stuff. It’s hard to wrap my head around anything past Moscow right now but hopefully I will figure out a way to blog while in China or at least very soon after we leave so I can share everything we do.
We exit China into Kyrgyzstan, which honestly I didn’t know was a real place until we decided to go there. We have a lot of hikes and a lotttt of horseback riding in Kyrgyzstan because that is how they get from place to place, and no matter how much I don’t want to do that, you have to in order to visit this country [ed. note: you don’t! we got around that! we walked!]. The beautiful, remote places we will get to should make it worth it. After almost 2 weeks in Kyrgs, we bus (peeee???) into Kazakhstan, which we are really excited about because we are going to make sooooo maaaaany Boooooraaaat jooooookes. They will hate us but man alive is that going to be hilarious just to the two of us. Chinqui!
After Kazakhstan, we will be going to Uzbekistan, so by this point our trip is a huge challenge for Herman Cain to talk about. We see all the things (it’s not until SEPTEMBER I can’t fit the details in my brain just yet) before returning to Moscow via Volgograd to catch the train to Kiev, Ukraine. We are going to visit Chernobyl when there, which seems a little scary because of radioactivity but we decided to do it because who knows how much longer the planet has left anyway. From Kiev, we take the train to Warsaw, Poland, which I am really excited about because I’ve never been to Poland and that’s where the other half of my paternal ancestors are from (the maternals are all eye-tals it’s a spicy meataball! I’m so good at accents of my people). More of I go to old country! Finally, after Poland, we take our 500th and final train (at least of this trip) to Berlin, Germany, one of our favorite cities in the world, where Husband and I got engaged and the vegan food is beyond belief. Even though we won’t be there for three and a half months, I already know what I’m ordering from that all-vegan French bakery. Oh and vegan doner kebab! I’m going to be hungry. I have so many nuts and protein bars in my backpack.
From Berlin, we fly back to London, where we will probably have to be reacclimated to normal life like astronauts when they come back from space except hopefully we will have gotten better, not worse, at walking.
Jeez I’m tired just talking about everything we’re going to do! It’s going to be quite a challenge for me considering I’ll be doing without my four favorite things in the world (sleep, television, gyms, green smoothies with Vega) but I think I will be better for it. (Ha you thought I was going to say theatre but we already have amazing tickets for the opera and the ballet in the next two weeks dance dance dance emojis!)
I know it’s kind of scary to be going to some of these places at this turbulent time. And I realize how, um, awkward it is to be going to Russia when their involvement in the election is the top issue right now (and should be until it’s resolved). But as we learned in the last month, it’s just as safe, or not safe, in London as it is anywhere we could go. We’re all at risk of some sort as soon as we get out of bed each day, but we can’t let that fear dictate how we live our lives, because a sheltered unexamined life is easily wasted (although there is a good Broadway musical song extolling its virtues hello “Wicked” shoutout). I know that’s high talk coming from me, since I am the biggest scaredycat and worrywart (#scaredywortworrycat) out there, but I want to travel and I want to have fun and see the whole world and I can’t do that from my couch, as much as I love couch. You have to do stuff, is what I’m saying, and live your life without fear of the worst possible outcome, because all the other outcomes are pretty great, and regardless I think we’re all in some version of The Matrix anyway.
But on that note, I’m not going to be writing about any political issues or anything controversial in places like Russia and China, at least not while I’m in their jurisdiction. As outspoken and political as I am, it would be beyond stupid to risk anything in countries whose freedom of speech laws are more restrictive than I’m used to.
I’m not sure about the internet connection I’ll have over the next 3 ½ months, and when I do have internet, I’m not sure which sites will be blocked (except for in China, where I know everything is blocked). I’ll do my best to blog as much as I can, so make sure to keep checking back on the home page for updates (that’s the best way, because I know facebook and twitter updates will be hard if not impossible, and Weebly doesn’t have a program for sending emails to subscribers when new posts are up (dammit Adam!)).
So that’s the big exciting news! What an adventure it will be! Be sure to follow along. And if you have been to any of the places we are going to, please comment or email (link at top) with any tips, advice, and recommendations you have! Da svidanyaaaaa!
3 Comments
What a whirlwind of packing everything you love in 24hours. Just recently a group of Ole miss students posed with guns on Emmett Till’s marker . Very upsetting that this racism continues.
The food looked amazing!
And that VEEP SUITE …amazing
❤️❤️❤️❤️
I’ll keep the Hamilton in mind for my next trip to DC! I haven’t watched Veep. (Don’t throw PSL at me!) But I like a cozy bed.
DC really surprised me the last time I was there, which was the first time since a high school trip. I ate at Busboys & Poets, but it was delivery. So it was just okay, but that may be the fault of the wait in the car. If I had 24 hours there, I’d go to Shouk and Fare Well.
Oh, and when I went to the White House, I just said I was visiting Obama’s old residence. I miss him like the desert misses the rain.
Glad to be of service! Definitely put Veep on your list but I don’t throw liquids OR shade at people for not watching certain shows – we still haven’t watched Breaking Bad! 😛
Shouk and Fare Well sound AMAZING! My going to B&P was more of a nostalgia and ease thing. I am definitely not saying it’s the best option haha!