Rachel Bloom Live in London: The Most Hilarious, Joyous, Loving Show in Town

Last night, Rachel Bloom, creator and star of Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, the greatest television musical/show/lifeforce/raison d’etre/new bar for excellence in any field made her London debut (a phrase about performance firsts that is commonly used in theatre but it sounds like I’m talking about debutantes and I feel like she would love that).

Bloom is in town for only two performances at the Palladium, an enormous theatre by Oxford Circus where I’ve seen, off the top of my head, both the transfer of the 2015 Broadway revival of The King and I, starring Kelli O’Hara, AND Whose Line is it Anyway: Live, a forking confusing list of past residents. Since CXG said goodbye, Bloom and her incredible cast have done the opposite of what most entertainers do when their jobs end: they’ve doubled down on working hard for their insanely adoring fans, just live instead of on TV. With the post-finale live show (on Netflix for people who don’t know, which like how do you live), sold-out shows at freaking Radio City Musical Hall and more, Bloom and the cast have been performing the genius, hilarious, wonderful songs from the beloved show, proving that they’re somehow even more talented live and that they have the best, most dedicated, most adoring fans ever. Finally, Bloom came to London, but without the rest of the cast. Or so we were told.

A mostly solo Rachel Bloom show was still a must-see, especially since she was bringing along co-writer and musical genius Adam Schlesinger on the piano (with local musicians on bass and drums) and Emmy-winning choreographer (representing all the show’s deserved Emmy wins) Kat Burns. She promised a few special surprise guests, who I assumed would be British performers, because I like making an ass out of you and me, I guess. I could not have been more wrong or more excited – I literally jumped out of my seat screaming like a forking lunatic fangirl (which I guess this means I am?) when Rachel tried to kill me by bringing out PETE GARDNER and SCOTT MICHAEL FOSTER. The surprise and excitement at either one of them would have been enough to kill me so with both of them I was killed twice which means the murders get negated and I am fine now, if still amped up on adrenaline and dealing with the subsequent nausea that it causes (it’s a true thing; I googled it at 4am).

The most incredible part, well besides seeing these performers that I love singing literally my favorite songs, was this audience. Rachel seemed genuinely moved at how devoted this immense crowd of fans was. The cheering was unlike anything I’ve ever heard – louder than any sports game I’ve been to (she did say, after making a joke about the big football match over the weekend, “oh no this is my first audience that watches sports!”), louder than any concert, and about 10 times the intensity of a closing night of a Broadway show. Like that last one, this crowd also sang along to every single word, which would normally be annoying for me (and it was a little just because the girls behind me were almost louder than Rachel, which like please no) but for the most part was pretty emotional, for me, for everyone, and clearly for Rachel, who kept pausing to take it all in. The only bad thing about the singing along came when a few people would preempt Rachel’s big moments, but we’ll get to that. Because I can’t focus on literally anything else right now, I’m going to go through night to the best of my ability/memory and share everything I can – including some videos! I didn’t take any during the first act because it is SO WRONG TO RECORD IN THE THEATRE, but then once I fully accepted that this was totally cool here, I took some videos (still super short ones though because ahhh).

ACT I

PERIOD SEX

To open with “Period Sex” is a bold move, and I couldn’t stop laughing watching the unapprised guards’ faces. They did NOT know what they were in for. On the show, we had only gotten a few lines of this song in its various occurrences. But here, oh boy, they went all out writing the rest of the song, even including a line about buying new sheets at Primark (to which Rachel commented, rightly, that Primark sounds like a pregnancy test). Amazing start, jumping right in to the crazy.

FEELING KINDA NAUGHTY

This is one of my favorites so I may have started my screaming, which lasted for the next 2 ½ hours, at recognizing the opening. Although nothing beats the image in the show that accompanies the delivery of “like that film with Liberace”, it was still the amazing live.

WE SHOULD DEFINITELY NOT HAVE SEX RIGHT NOW

Rachel roped Adam into performing Josh’s part from this song, which was hilarious since Adam gives off such a serious vibe.

It was around this point when Rachel learned the hard way that this country does not do air conditioning. It was super hot in the theatre, and I was sweating sitting in the audience so I can’t imagine how much worse it was for Rachel under those stage lights. She started the show wearing a plaid shirt open over a tank because she said she hadn’t gotten the tank top tailored yet, but soon she had to take it off.. She definitely undersold how ill-fitting the shirt was, as she definitely almost fully popped out of it several times!

OMG I THINK I LIKE YOU

Ugh my FAVORITE. It was magical. It was especially funny to hear the bridge, just the best bridge ever, about the various forms of contraception including the IUD (“that can stop the image of YOU AND ME”) since she had just talked about a bad experience she had with the NuvaRing and said “Do you guys know what that is? Oh wait you do IUDs here don’t you?” to which the audience shouted “YES”. Rachel said “doesn’t that hurt??” and again, everyone shouted “YESSS”. HILARIOUS.

I’M A GOOD PERSON

I was – we were ALL – SO happy to hear this song start, since it is one of the classics out of this show (like 131 are all classics and amazing, btw). It was the explicit version – all of these were the explicit versions – and while generally the safe-for-TV versions are actually much better (see, e.g., “JAP Battle” and “I Give Good Parent”, two of my absolute faves), the differences with this song are few and they’re lateral moves, so it was no big deal. Where in the show Rebecca comes across the guy choking and says “Sorry, so busy!”, here Adam stopped playing and told Rachel that there was a girl in the audience who was terminally ill. He kept talking and Rachel kept saying ‘uh huh’ and it went on and on and was so Voldemort (TERRIBLE, but GREAT) and then she just resumed singing!

There was a girl in the front row who may have been even more overexcited than I was, because Rachel chose her for the audience participation line, saying she had a bit planned for that pause but just completely skipped it because that girl was so itching to shout ‘YOU’RE A GOOD PERSON!’ Well, she said great; she was very excited.

SEXY FRENCH DEPRESSION

One of the funniest moments when Rachel introduced this song. Earlier I said the list of past performers at the Palladium is wildly varied, and I hadn’t even mentioned the best one: Judy Garland. It seemed like Rachel and I were the only people who appreciated this, because she kept trying to talk about how amazing it was and the audience didn’t seem to react the way she expected, which she kept talking about. As she sat down on the lip of the stage, she said she expected everyone to erupt with recognition that “Judy sat on the lip of that stage just like that!” That would have already sealed this as my favorite intro bit, but then she asked the audience how England feels about France. The crowd erupted in a truly indecipherable way: I heard cheers, boos, everything. Rachel said “what you guys still aren’t over the 100 Years War?” Then, some man (of course it was a man) shouted ‘BREXIT!’ to which the entire audience booed, which was amazing. Rachel was kind of confused until someone explained we were all booing Brexit, not France or her for asking. A totally  hysterical way to lead in a hysterical-but-remember-depression-isn’t-hysterical-or-sexy-as-Rachel-reminded-us song, “Sexy French Depression”. I only wish she did the original French lyrics in the back half; there’s nothing funnier than the rush of French with ‘John Wayne Gacy’ stuck in there (but I admit without subtitles it wouldn’t have worked). “Je suis garbage” is still the best line.

FRIENDTOPIA

OH MY BIGGEST REGRET IN LIFE. Ugh I am still heartbroken about this. Without Gabrielle Ruiz and Vella Lovell to join Rachel for this song, she asked the audience for volunteers, two people who REALLY know the song, like every word, who could step in and do the respective parts. I SHOULD HAVE JUMPED UP, but I second guessed how well I knew a few of the lyrics so I stayed seated. Then as soon as the two girls got onstage, they were given lyric sheets!! I could have checked the one I was unsure about (Heather is the one who says ‘take control of the banks’) and then HAD MY LIFE MADE. Oh well, the two volunteers did such a great job being so brave. Kat came onstage to teach them some super quick choreography, which Rachel said was how all her choreography was taught. It also was a great opportunity for Rachel to continue doing terrible accents and talking about the British accent, which she did A LOT. ZIGAZOW!

WE TAPPED THAT ASS ALL OVER THIS HOUSE

In this ridiculous number, Rachel and Kat did the tap dancing of Josh and Greg – but Adam and another musician did the singing. It was funny, and a nice way to show off Kat, but the multiple performer thing made it feel a little off, keeping the hilarious lyrics more in the background. Still so fun though.

IT WAS A SHITSHOW

Rachel sang Greg’s most heartbreaking song, making an already emotional song even more moving. She also shared that, like the situation the song is about, writing the song was a shitshow too because ‘the actor decided to leave us, which was a surprise!’ It was some REAL shade, and it made me uncomfortable (and a lot of the audience since a majority of every crowd (in any place or gathering) is a Santino fan). There’s so much about that situation that is the real life version of the gif of Chrissy Tiegen at the Golden Globes making cringe-face, and I honestly would rather not know!

This song featured one of the most prominent examples of some extra-annoying audience members who kept preempting some songs’ big moments. Here, famously, Greg runs off before singing the final ‘shitshow’ – Rachel and Adam actually explained that there is no final ‘shitshow’ because Standards & Practices would only let them say it twice, but it actually helps with the emotional heft to leave it hanging. But before letting us find out whether Rachel would sing it or not, the audience member/s shouted it out themselves. Rachel made fun of it and we all laughed, but I think she was really annoyed about it. It’s one thing to sing along because we all love it; it’s another to literally make it all about you.

WHAT’LL IT BE

In a really lovely twist, they had Adam sing this, one of my favorite Greg songs, with Rachel introducing it as the song that most impressed her from Adam, that the first draft he sent was literally perfect. Adam introduced it by explaining that it’s inspired, as we know, by a singer named William Joel, “who is a Jewish man but pretends to be Italian.” As someone who is both Jewish and Italian AND whose very first concert was Billy Joel (that’s true), I CACKLED. Adam sang the lyric as “to serve Deb a Grey Goose” instead of “to serve Deb a vodka and cranberry juice”, and he paused the song to explain that Grey Goose was the original lyric, but the lawyers made them change it for the show! Free from the constraints of TV, it’s back to its original form, but I actually prefer the way “vodka and cranberry juice” affects the meter.

MATH OF LOVE TRIANGLES

The final song before the interval break was the one that almost gave me the big heart attack. Rachel said she needed the help of two special guests for this one, and out came PETE and SCOTT and I JUMPED up out of my seat and jumped up and down screaming like I have literally never done before. I was like a contestant pulled from the audience on The Price is Right, and in hindsight equally embarrassing as they all usually are.

But it doesn’t matter how embarrassing I acted because this was the best surprise, especially to use them in a song they originally had no part of. They even had the posterboard props of the different triangles. THE BEST!

During the interval, everyone got even more wasted, buying whole new bottles of wine and ensuring an even rowdier Act 2 crowd, if that was possible. The Palladium toilet situation is not great, and the line for the ladies snaked all the way through that long hallway and into the bar area. (That’s bad.) (Luckily, I know theatres (and talk about them in my regular reviews, ps) and got the seat next to the secret door to the ladies from the stalls – it actually says Gentlemen above the door but it leads to both. Anyway that’s enough about the toilets.)

ACT 2

FUCKTON OF CATS

With everyone wasted – which is something for fans of a show that uses alcoholism as an important plot point (but in the UK we just ignore that alcoholism is real) – they opened the second act with a song that I don’t love love like the others, but that is so good live, “Fuckton of Cats”, with Scott, Pete, and Kat acting as the cat chorus. Hilarious! This act actually featured a lot of the songs I don’t love love (of course still regular love, I love all of them) but that were vastly improved by a live performance. So interesting, like how “Santa Fe” was the best part of the Rent movie even though it’s like whatever in the original.

I LOVE MY DAUGHTER (BUT NOT IN A CREEPY WAY)

I am OBSESSED that Pete got to sing this live. Such a hilarious surprise and it was so wonderful live. I love that Pete really got to show off both his voice and his humor more than he usually gets to. God this song is so funny. I took a video of my favorite line (“I’m very careful where I tickle my daughter!”)

LET’S HAVE INTERCOURSE

Okay, it’s important to note that this audience was ROWDY for Scott Michael Foster. I said the screaming overall was louder than anything, but when he was onstage (or even when Rachel MENTIONED him) the audience screamed even louder, if possible, like how some infinities are larger than other infinities. This screaming level was the bigger infinity. So to have him sing THIS song for THIS audience, man alive was it awesome. Also I’m deaf now.

GETTING BI

I usually think this song is great, but it’s not one of my faves. Performed live?? it is SENSATIONAL. One of the best performances of the night because of Pete’s exuberance, the audience’s joy, and the fact that it was so fitting for Pride month. I love that as soon as Pete came out wearing a blazer the audience cheered because they knew what song was coming. I love that everyone knows this show inside and out like I do. We’re all so crazy.

I GO TO THE ZOO

Most fans are going to flip out, but this is another song that I don’t really listen to on repeat. It’s fine, it’s so funny, but like okay. But holy shit, live? This was INCREDIBLE. I really wish I had taped it but I was too busy rethinking all my previous opinions.

SPORTS ANALOGIES

Pete joined Scott to take over Josh’s part in this hilarious song. This one is when I feel like some of the male guards finally connected to the show, hearing about men’s relationships with their fathers. I loved that they added a new ending line for the European audience: after “’cause soccer’s just a bunch of foreigners running around” they THEN said something like “don’t call it football, that’s not f-ing football!” Loves it.

THE DARKNESS and A DIAGNOSIS

These two go so well together, it made each one extra poignant. Honestly, with how hot it was on that stage and how dry it was (so bad for the voice), this Rachel-centric section was a huge accomplishment. Those conditions for singers, especially at the end of a long show, are often debilitating. Although she mentioned how hoarse she felt, she sounded amazing.

FUCK ME RAY BRADBURY/STACY’S MOM

THIS was a surprise and I am LIVING FOR IT! I love that both Rachel and Adam showed off their early work. The former is the song that made Rachel famous, when she was making parody songs for Youtube. Aline Brosh McKenna saw this one and decided she wanted to make a musical TV show with this girl and the rest is our magical history. The latter, of course, is the famous Fountains of Wayne song from all our middle school lives. Adam wrote it; he was in FOW. So many young people in the audience didn’t know! He also was nominated for an Oscar for writing “That Thing You Do!” (the song in the movie, not the movie). The movie studio literally hired him to write a song that would be believable as taking over the world and making a band huge, and he did it. GENIUS.

ENCORE: YOU STUPID BITCH

I have to say, I’m the tiniest bit disappointed not to have seen the encore from the Radio City shows – Rachel doing “Heavy Boobs” wearing only pasties – for the sheer insanity of it, but there’s no way I’d give up hearing the true theme song of the show live. It was GLORIOUS…except the annoying audience member/s who kept preempting her continued it here, as you can see in the video. But Rachel made the most of it (I think she was really annoyed though). It was sad to have the night end, but to end it on this song was EVERYTHING.

So obviously this was the best ever and I hope that everyone going tonight has the time of their lives. Just don’t sing the words before she does.